History Quotes / ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful

-> '''Marina:''' Ouch... OK, that was pretty good.

--> --'''Bella''', ''{{Twilight}}: [[http://www.the-editing-room.com/twilight.html The Abridged Script]]''

--> --'''Lindsay''' gets to the heart of the nut, ''WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland''.

->They show a ‘Wanted’ mugshot of Louise (it was nice of the police to let her get her hair done first) and identify her. [=MacLeod=] comments 'Pretty girl.' Yep, for all he knows, she may have been [[TheRevolutionWillNotBeCivilized trying to sabotage a facility that keeps life on the planet alive]], but she has a nice smile and a great body, so who cares, right?
-->--'''''Jabootu''''' [[http://www.jabootu.com/highlander2.htm on]] ''{{Franchise/Highlander}} II: The Quickening''

->Britain’s ''Stylist'' Magazine asked the German King of the Vampires what he would do if he ran England. I don’t know why ''Stylist'' even asked him that. We all know that if Kunty Karl ran England, [[FinalSolution he’d make eating actual food illegal and he’d deport all fatties to a land far, far away.]] Karl didn’t say he’d do that, but he did say that he’d take away welfare for families [[TheBeautifulPeople and give that money to people who dressed well]]. Whoever said that zombies have no sense of humor has never read a Kunty Karl quote.

->Most people know Suzanne Somers from her role as Chrissy on ''Series/ThreesCompany.''\\\
Others know her for shilling the single greatest piece of workout equipment ever made, the Thighmaster.\\\
But did you know that when she wasn't fulfilling her life's goal to be a low-budget Creator/JaneFonda, she was becoming [[KnowNothingKnowItAll a world-renowned physician who specializes in hormone replacement therapy?]]\\\

-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-oprah-winfrey-changed-world-for-worse/ "4 Ways Oprah Screwed the World (That Nobody Ever Calls Her On)"]]

->''Lois Griffin:'' Ahh, I hate what you've become. Why don't you go back to that doctor and have him suck the fat out of your head?\\
''Peter Griffin:'' Maybe I will! Then I'll put it on my feet and skate around on Paul Bunyan's giant skillet to cook his flapjacks!\\
''Lois Griffin:'' That doesn't make any sense!\\
''Peter Griffin:'' It doesn't have to. I'm beautiful!

->It’s been a while since I’ve taken notice of Vani Hari, a.k.a. The Food Babe, the misguided “food safety” activist who sees chemicals, chemicals, chemicals everywhere and raises fears about them all, [[BrainlessBeauty especially the ones that she can’t pronounce]]...she made some astonishing ignorant statements about beer, where she pulled the same routine, to the point where I said labeled her tactics as the “[[EekAMouse appeal to yuckiness.]]” Basically, if something sounds yucky to her (such as isinglass, which is derived from the swim bladders of fish and is used in some beers to remove haziness and yeast byproducts), then it must be bad, either for you or just bad because it’s gross. It also turns out that The Food Babe [[LetNoCrisisGoToWaste makes quite a pretty penny spreading her ignorance]] and has become sought after to feature in various media appearances, such as magazine covers.

->It’s been much too long since we’ve all choked on a river of laughs coming out of our mouths while reading the hilarious deep thoughts of one of delusion’s ambassadors Kunty Karl. Kunty Karl is back and is once again showing us that he probably wins open mic night at the [[Literature/HarryPotter Death Eaters]] Comedy Club every week, because his shit is funny.\\\
Britain’s ''Stylist'' Magazine asked the German King of the Vampires what he would do if he ran England. I don’t know why ''Stylist'' even asked him that. We all know that if Kunty Karl ran England, [[FinalSolution he’d make eating actual food illegal and he’d deport all fatties to a land far, far away.]] Karl didn’t say he’d do that, but he did say that he’d take away welfare for families [[TheBeautifulPeople and give that money to people who dressed well]]. Whoever said that zombies have no sense of humor has never read a Kunty Karl quote.

If you didn't know, that's because she absolutely wasn't doing that, but damn if that was going to stop [[Creator/OprahWinfrey Oprah]] from treating her like a medical professional anyway...despite the well-documented proof that the hormones she swears by have been linked to increased risk of breast cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke, and heart attacks, when actual medical professionals were asked to be on the show, they were treated like [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg glorified audience members]], rather than featured panelists.

Then "[[Series/JerseyShore JWoww]]" shows up, and they just hand her '''15,000 dollars''' for less than a night's work and essentially doing nothing.\\\
What do you think the locker room morale's like right now, knowing that [=JWoww=] probably made more in 5 minutes than you did in 6 months? I'm guessing these wrestlers don't get paid much. In TNA, I don't think they get paid much at all...enough to live on. I've heard that the Knockouts are ''barely'' getting paid enough to sustain themselves.

->Oz has become used to crowds, to adulation, and to fame. That morning, when he arrived in darkness, hundreds of people, [[{{Fangirl}} mostly women]], already stood in line at the entrance to the hospital; many lacked insurance, a doctor, or medical support of any kind. There were screams of delight when he hopped out of the car. People had come for the free exam and for helpful advice, but also to see him. Oz is fifty-two and jauntily fit, with a perfectly tamed helmet of brown hair and lengthy sideburns. His scrubs, powder blue and cinched at the waist, fit so well they looked as if they had been run up for him on Saville Row. In promotional pictures, Oz, with a stethoscope draped like a scarf around his neck, looks eerily like Doug Ross, the character that Creator/GeorgeClooney made famous on ''{{Series/ER}}'' He worked the line like a gifted politician, hugging people as they flipped open their phones and tried to get a picture with him. Many had brought old copies of magazines to be signed: ''Time, Good Housekeeping, Prevention''--all with Oz on the cover. “I worship you, Dr. Oz,” one woman told him. Another threw her arms around his neck. “I haven’t seen a doctor in eight years,” she said. “I’m scared. You are the only one I trust.”

->It’s one of those days where impossibly beautiful people are everywhere, like an infestation of flying ants. Laying in the sands; tottering past with uneasy bare feet on hot concrete; like something from [[TheBeautifulPeople an unrealistically cast TV show]]. It just makes you want to smash your awful face against the breakwater until all the bones are sticking out like toothpicks in a Christingle orange, and then politely ask them if they’ve got the time, dripping burst eyeball-fluid all over their chicken wraps until they all run away screaming and leave you alone on the beach, like the Quasimodo freak in the tower summer makes of you when it shines a light on the world and all its corners.\\\
Part of the reason I cut down on the number of entries was that this theme becomes both unavoidable, and repetitive. Yeah, there are hot people everywhere and it’s depressing and makes me feel half-ghost, half-monster, but what can you do? Should I magically become comfortable in my own skin? Or suddenly, somehow deal with my feeling like a diabetic on Willy Wonka’s factory tour?
-->--'''[[https://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/the-beach-diaries-2014-3-in-an-occasional-series/ Stuart Millard]]''', ''The Beach Diaries''

->Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO took heat for [[TheBeautifulPeople not wanting ugly customers inside his store]], which is hilarious to me because ''(a)'' have you seen the mall rats who rock A&F? And ''(b)'' have you met America? We are morbidly obese and have garbled Sanskrit tattoos littering our back fat. Way to shrink your customer base down to six people, Mike. And bonus points for shunning ugly people when [[BoomerangBigot you look like Philip Seymour Hoffman after twelve skin-graft surgeries.]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

->No matter what I may do... whether I kick a kitten, tear off your ears, even slaughter innocent people... the world will never cease to forgive my actions. Why, you ask? Why, it is because I am '''beautiful'''!!
-->-- '''Boa Hancock''', ''Manga/OnePiece''

[[/folder]]

Then "[[Series/JereryShore JWoww]]" shows up, and they just hand her '''15,000 dollars''' for less than a night's work and essentially doing nothing.\\\

->They just paid a useless, peripheral character on ''Series/JerseyShore'' fifteen large to participate in about five minutes of non-wrestling programming... Hypothetical: You're a wrestler working for TNA. You're ''literally'' busting your ass. Your ass is broken. (You're Wrestling/KurtAngle; you're Amazing Red, who is getting thrown on his fucking head for a living). [[TheScrooge And knowing Dixie, knowing TNA]]--it's for peanuts.\\\
Then "[=JWoww=]" shows up, and they just hand her '''15,000 dollars''' for less than a night's work and essentially doing nothing.\\\

-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pBpKHTV-oI#t=3300s on]] {{Wrestling/TNA}} ''[=iMPACT=]'' 10.16.10

->The fact that television personalities so notoriously took precedence over the politicians at Miami Beach was noted with sour wonder by journalists who have begun to fear that their rendering of events into lines of linear type may prove to be as irrelevant an exercise as turning contemporary literature into Greek. The fact that in a hotel lobby it was [[{{CBS}} Eric Severeid]] not John Tower who collected a crowd was thought to be a sign of the essential light-mindedness of the electorate. Yet Severeid belongs to the country in a way few politicians ever do. Only UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan among the politicians at Miami exerted the same spell, and for the same reason: he is a bona fide star of the ''Series/LateShow'', equally ubiquitous, equally mythic.
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', "The Twenty-Ninth Republican Convention"

-->--'''[[http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2015/02/12/the-food-babe-there-is-just-no-acceptable-level-of-any-chemical-to-ingest-ever/ Orac]]''', "There is just no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever"

->So, essentially, pharma reps are like the cast of ''Series/GreysAnatomy'': they're young, they're hot, and they have virtually no medical training whatsoever.
-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZ2UeOTO3I on]] marketing to doctors

->Some might say that it's a bit odd that a magazine would make an 'Economics Correspondent' out of someone who has no background in economics, but what those critics fail to take into account is that [[StatuesqueStunner McArdle is very tall.]]
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on pundit Megan [=McArdle=]

->It’s been a while since I’ve taken notice of Vani Hari, a.k.a. The Food Babe, the misguided “food safety” activist who sees chemicals, chemicals, chemicals everywhere and raises fears about them all, [[BrainlessBeauty especially the ones that she can’t pronounce]]...she made some astonishing ignorant statements about beer, where she pulled the same routine, to the point where I said labeled her tactics as the “[[EekAMouse appeal to yuckiness.]]” Basically, if something sounds yucky to her (such as isinglass, which is derived from the swim bladders of fish and is used in some beers to remove haziness and yeast byproducts), then it must be bad, either for you or just bad because it’s gross. It also turns out that The Food Babe [[LetNoCrisisGoToWaste makes quite a pretty penny spreading her ignorance]] and has become sought after to feature in various media appearances, such as magazine covers.
-->--'''[[http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2015/02/12/the-food-babe-there-is-just-no-acceptable-level-of-any-chemical-to-ingest-ever/ Orac]]''', "There is just no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever"

->It’s been much too long since we’ve all choked on a river of laughs coming out of our mouths while reading the hilarious deep thoughts of one of delusion’s ambassadors Kunty Karl. Kunty Karl is back and is once again showing us that he probably wins open mic night at the [[Literature/HarryPotter Death Eaters]] Comedy Club every week, because his shit is funny.\\\
Britain’s ''Stylist'' Magazine asked the German King of the Vampires what he would do if he ran England. I don’t know why ''Stylist'' even asked him that. We all know that if Kunty Karl ran England, [[FinalSolution he’d make eating actual food illegal and he’d deport all fatties to a land far, far away.]] Karl didn’t say he’d do that, but he did say that he’d take away welfare for families [[TheBeautifulPeople and give that money to people who dressed well]]. Whoever said that zombies have no sense of humor has never read a Kunty Karl quote.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/17/from-the-gospel-according-to-kunty-karl-ugly-people-are-very-depressing/ Michael K.]]''' on Karl Lagerfield, "Ugly People Are Very Depressing"

->Most people know Suzanne Somers from her role as Chrissy on ''Series/ThreesCompany.''\\\
Others know her for shilling the single greatest piece of workout equipment ever made, the Thighmaster.\\\
But did you know that when she wasn't fulfilling her life's goal to be a low-budget Creator/JaneFonda, she was becoming [[KnowNothingKnowItAll a world-renowned physician who specializes in hormone replacement therapy?]]\\\
If you didn't know, that's because she absolutely wasn't doing that, but damn if that was going to stop [[Creator/OprahWinfrey Oprah]] from treating her like a medical professional anyway...despite the well-documented proof that the hormones she swears by have been linked to increased risk of breast cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke, and heart attacks, when actual medical professionals were asked to be on the show, they were treated like [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg glorified audience members]], rather than featured panelists.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-oprah-winfrey-changed-world-for-worse/ "4 Ways Oprah Screwed the World (That Nobody Ever Calls Her On)"]]

->They just paid a useless, peripheral character on ''Series/JerseyShore'' 15 large to participate in about five minutes of non-wrestling programming... Hypothetical: You're a wrestler working for TNA. You're ''literally'' busting your ass. Your ass is broken. (You're Wrestling/KurtAngle; you're Amazing Red, who is getting thrown on his fucking head for a living). [[TheScrooge And knowing Dixie, knowing TNA]]--it's for peanuts.\\\

[[folder:fiction]]
->''The smart grow smarter, but still can't compete\\
And they know deep down that they are scarred for life\\
And that a face can launch a thousand hips\\
It's gonna be all right''
-->--'''Music/{{Sparks}}''', "Looks, Looks, Looks"

->No matter what I may do... whether I kick a kitten, tear off your ears, even slaughter innocent people... the world will never cease to forgive my actions. Why, you ask? Why, it is because I am '''beautiful'''!!
-->-- '''Boa Hancock''', ''Manga/OnePiece''

->How could his beauty ever compare with my ''soul?'' And although I've never seen my soul, I understand from my mother's Rabbi that it's a knockout. I, however, cannot seem to locate it for a gander. And if I could, [[DealWithTheDevil I'd sell it in a flash]] for some skin-deep, transitory, meaningless beauty.
-->--'''Harold''', ''Theatre/TheBoysInTheBand''

->Can I have the cabin with the lake view because I'm the prettiest?
--> --'''Lindsay''' gets to the heart of the nut, ''WesternAnimation/TotalDramaIsland''.

->Holy fucking shit! If you weren't so hot I'd have you arrested!
--> --'''Bella''', ''{{Twilight}}: [[http://www.the-editing-room.com/twilight.html The Abridged Script]]''

[[folder:reviews]]
->They show a ‘Wanted’ mugshot of Louise (it was nice of the police to let her get her hair done first) and identify her. [=MacLeod=] comments 'Pretty girl.' Yep, for all he knows, she may have been [[TheRevolutionWillNotBeCivilized trying to sabotage a facility that keeps life on the planet alive]], but she has a nice smile and a great body, so who cares, right?
-->--'''''Jabootu''''' [[http://www.jabootu.com/highlander2.htm on]] ''{{Franchise/Highlander}} II: The Quickening''

->I know a lot of people ’round these parts love ol’ [[Wrestling/StephanieMcMahon Nipple H]]. They think she’s hot as best I can tell. That’s cool, that’s fine, different strokes, yadda yadda.\\\
Some people get turned on [[SoWasX zapping their nads with a cattle prod.]]\\\
It's a weird world we live in.
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/jericho-and-the-planet-of-the-apes-why-2j/ "Jericho and the Planet of the Apes"]]

->I really want to say something nice about this guy but he’s such a jobsworth he makes it difficult. Is it true (correct me if I’m wrong) that when considering a shake up in the series at the beginning of series four that both Kes and Kim were in the running for an axing but they kept Kim because he was in the top 50 of a ‘best looking guys on TV’ competition? Imagine a show fronted by four women as strong as Janeway, Kes, B’lanna and Seven? Imagine a show ''without'' Harry Kim? [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing Makes you feel warm inside]], doesn’t it?
-->--'''[[http://www.docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2012/02/voyager-season-one.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''

[[folder:real life]]
->The fact that television personalities so notoriously took precedence over the politicians at Miami Beach was noted with sour wonder by journalists who have begun to fear that their rendering of events into lines of linear type may prove to be as irrelevant an exercise as turning contemporary literature into Greek. The fact that in a hotel lobby it was [[{{CBS}} Eric Severeid]] not John Tower who collected a crowd was thought to be a sign of the essential light-mindedness of the electorate. Yet Severeid belongs to the country in a way few politicians ever do. Only UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan among the politicians at Miami exerted the same spell, and for the same reason: he is a bona fide star of the ''Series/LateShow'', equally ubiquitous, equally mythic.
-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', "The Twenty-Ninth Republican Convention"

->A friend of mine has [[BettyAndVeronica two Daughters, whom I will call Lætitia and Daphne]]; The Former is one of the Greatest Beauties of the Age in which she lives, the Latter no way remarkable for any Charms in her Person. Upon this one Circumstance of their Outward Form, the Good and Ill of their Life seems to turn. Lætitia has not, from her very Childhood, heard any thing else but Commendations of her Features and Complexion, by which means she is no other than Nature made her, a very beautiful Outside. . . Poor Daphne was seldom submitted to in a Debate wherein she was concerned; her Discourse had nothing to recommend it but the good Sense of it, and she was always under a Necessity to have very well considered what she was to say before she uttered it; while Lætitia was listened to with Partiality, and Approbation sate in the Countenances of those she conversed with, before she communicated what she had to say.
-->-- '''Joseph Addison'''

->If there are two girls weeping on Charing Cross Station, and one is beautiful and the other is plain, the plain girl can sit there and grow old, but it takes about 15 minutes before Tom Baker comes along and says to the pretty one, ‘Where are you going?’ She says, ‘Folkstone, but I’ve got no money,’ and I say, ‘Listen,’ and give her a 20-pound note. Physical beauty transcends everything. It is the ultimate currency.
-->-- '''Creator/TomBaker'''

->It’s one of those days where impossibly beautiful people are everywhere, like an infestation of flying ants. Laying in the sands; tottering past with uneasy bare feet on hot concrete; like something from [[TheBeautifulPeople an unrealistically cast TV show]]. It just makes you want to smash your awful face against the breakwater until all the bones are sticking out like toothpicks in a Christingle orange, and then politely ask them if they’ve got the time, dripping burst eyeball-fluid all over their chicken wraps until they all run away screaming and leave you alone on the beach, like the Quasimodo freak in the tower summer makes of you when it shines a light on the world and all its corners.\\\
Part of the reason I cut down on the number of entries was that this theme becomes both unavoidable, and repetitive. Yeah, there are hot people everywhere and it’s depressing and makes me feel half-ghost, half-monster, but what can you do? Should I magically become comfortable in my own skin? Or suddenly, somehow deal with my feeling like a diabetic on Willy Wonka’s factory tour?
-->--'''[[https://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/the-beach-diaries-2014-3-in-an-occasional-series/ Stuart Millard]]''', ''The Beach Diaries''

->This UsefulNotes/SarahPalin phenomenon is very curious. I think somebody watching us from Mars would think the country has gone insane.
-->--'''Noam Chomsky'''

->So, essentially, pharma reps are like the cast of ''Series/GreysAnatomy'': they're young, they're hot, and they have virtually no medical training whatsoever.
-->--''Series/LastWeekTonightWithJohnOliver'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQZ2UeOTO3I on]] marketing to doctors

->Some might say that it's a bit odd that a magazine would make an 'Economics Correspondent' out of someone who has no background in economics, but what those critics fail to take into account is that [[StatuesqueStunner McArdle is very tall.]]
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on pundit Megan [=McArdle=]

->It’s been a while since I’ve taken notice of Vani Hari, a.k.a. The Food Babe, the misguided “food safety” activist who sees chemicals, chemicals, chemicals everywhere and raises fears about them all, [[BrainlessBeauty especially the ones that she can’t pronounce]]...she made some astonishing ignorant statements about beer, where she pulled the same routine, to the point where I said labeled her tactics as the “[[EekAMouse appeal to yuckiness.]]” Basically, if something sounds yucky to her (such as isinglass, which is derived from the swim bladders of fish and is used in some beers to remove haziness and yeast byproducts), then it must be bad, either for you or just bad because it’s gross. It also turns out that The Food Babe [[LetNoCrisisGoToWaste makes quite a pretty penny spreading her ignorance]] and has become sought after to feature in various media appearances, such as magazine covers.
-->--'''[[http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2015/02/12/the-food-babe-there-is-just-no-acceptable-level-of-any-chemical-to-ingest-ever/ Orac]]''', "There is just no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever"

->It’s been much too long since we’ve all choked on a river of laughs coming out of our mouths while reading the hilarious deep thoughts of one of delusion’s ambassadors Kunty Karl. Kunty Karl is back and is once again showing us that he probably wins open mic night at the [[Literature/HarryPotter Death Eaters]] Comedy Club every week, because his shit is funny.\\\
Britain’s ''Stylist'' Magazine asked the German King of the Vampires what he would do if he ran England. I don’t know why ''Stylist'' even asked him that. We all know that if Kunty Karl ran England, [[FinalSolution he’d make eating actual food illegal and he’d deport all fatties to a land far, far away.]] Karl didn’t say he’d do that, but he did say that he’d take away welfare for families [[TheBeautifulPeople and give that money to people who dressed well]]. Whoever said that zombies have no sense of humor has never read a Kunty Karl quote.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/01/17/from-the-gospel-according-to-kunty-karl-ugly-people-are-very-depressing/ Michael K.]]''' on Karl Lagerfield, "Ugly People Are Very Depressing"

->Most people know Suzanne Somers from her role as Chrissy on ''Series/ThreesCompany.''\\\
Others know her for shilling the single greatest piece of workout equipment ever made, the Thighmaster.\\\
But did you know that when she wasn't fulfilling her life's goal to be a low-budget Creator/JaneFonda, she was becoming [[KnowNothingKnowItAll a world-renowned physician who specializes in hormone replacement therapy?]]\\\
If you didn't know, that's because she absolutely wasn't doing that, but damn if that was going to stop [[Creator/OprahWinfrey Oprah]] from treating her like a medical professional anyway...despite the well-documented proof that the hormones she swears by have been linked to increased risk of breast cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke, and heart attacks, when actual medical professionals were asked to be on the show, they were treated like [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg glorified audience members]], rather than featured panelists.
-->--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-oprah-winfrey-changed-world-for-worse/ "4 Ways Oprah Screwed the World (That Nobody Ever Calls Her On)"]]

->Some might say that it's a bit odd that a magazine would make an 'Economics Correspondent' out of someone who has no background in economics, but what those critics fail to take into account is that [=McArdle=] [[StatuesqueStunner is very tall.]]
-->--'''''RationalWiki''''' on pundit Megan [=McArdle=]

->I know a lot of people ’round these parts love ol’ [[Wrestling/StephanieMcMahon Nipple H]]. They think she’s hot as best I can tell. That’s cool, that’s fine, different strokes, yadda yadda.\\\
Some people get turned on [[SoWasX zapping their nads with a cattle prod.]]\\\
It's a weird world we live in.
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/jericho-and-the-planet-of-the-apes-why-2j/ "Jericho and the Planet of the Apes"]]

[[folder:real life]]
!!!RealLife