History Quotes / OldShame

->Sometimes it’s just fun to dig into your past.
->… Until you uncover something that never should have seen the light of day again.

!!{{Film}}s
->"They'll like me for who I am, not like the last time when the internet got ONE LOOK at my [[UncannyValley human teeth]] and ''[[ProductFacelift burned the place down]]''!"
-->-- '''[[Film/SonicTheHedgehog2020 Ugly Sonic]]''', ''Film/ChipNDaleRescueRangers''

!!WebAnimation
->"Don't worry about how bad your first page looks, because you'll end up hating it for years no matter what you do."
-->-- ''[[WebAnimation/WelcomeTo Welcome to Webcomics]]''

!!WebVideo
->"Sometimes you have to take a nasty shit before you take a ''[[AnalogyBackfire better]]'' shit."
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd'''

->'''Joey:''' Hey Yugi, how come everything looks different in this episode?\\
'''Yugi:''' Actually Joey, this is a movie based on ''Franchise/YuGiOh'' Season 0.\\
'''Joey:''' There was a Season 0? How come I never knew about it?\\
'''Yugi:''' It [[NoExportForYou only aired in Japan]] because it was super violent and depressingly bad.
-->-- ''[[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yu-Gi-Oh: The Other Abridged Movie]]''

->"Watching really old videos of yourself, whether it's something that you made or ancient family home videos, is exactly like your first kiss: it's surprising, it's awkward, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and there may even be a bit of blood. But everybody's videos suck when they start out. You don't know editing software tricks top to bottom, your writing blows, you've got no experience, your acting is as convincing as a plastic slide, you've got no confidence in your voice, so it's okay. It's completely normal and understandable to be bad when you're starting out. Still, though, that doesn't mean the videos you made all those years ago ''aren't'' unbearable, because they are. Everybody's are."
-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}}'''

->''"…Well, that proves it. Nineteen is still way too young to have the intellect or the experience to form good opinions. At least I couldn't."''
-->-- '''Josh Wallen''' regarding a very old forum post where he used reasoning such as "the plot is great" to describe ''VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006'' more favorably, ''WebVideo/TheGeekCritique''

->'''Klaus''': The 86 hour PBS series "Ken Burns' Bicycles." A documentary so unwieldy and meandering, Burns himself has disavowed it.
-->--''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''

!!RealLife

->''LESSON: Unless you don't improve, all of your early work should embarrass you.''
-->-- '''Andrew Nicholls''', ''Valuable Lessons''

->"You birds have a hundred thousand bad drawings in you; start getting rid of them now."
-->-- '''Creator/ChuckJones''', quoting one of his art school instructors

->''I know it's an artistic cliche, but every time I look at my past work, I want to projectile vomit.''
-->-- '''[[Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick Rich Burlew]]'''

->''Dear Zach, are you ever embarrassed by any of your old comics?''\\
'''[[red:WHAT OLD COMICS?]]'''
-->--''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'' votey (added 10 years after [[https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2006-07-19 this comic's]] original publication)

->"None of your goddamn business!"
-->-- '''Creator/JerryLewis''', on ''Film/TheDayTheClownCried''

->"She was a total bitch, screaming at everyone and saying, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ ...When she fell asleep, one steward said, ‘I’m going to get that bitch’ and [[Film/MommieDearest grabbed a bunch of wire hangers]] and put them on the seat next to her. All the other passengers were snickering. When she woke up as the plane landed, she was wide-eyed with fury, and looked around at whom to blame but had no idea who did it. Then she got up and did yoga in the aisle to calm herself down."
-->--Anonymous flight attendant on flying with Creator/FayeDunaway

->''Faye Dunaway has been nominated for OSCARS for her tantrums! Studio heads have paid Faye tens of millions of dollars to flare her nostrils and [[{{Hellgate}} open the portal to hell]] by widening her eyes in front of the camera! And Faye gave those ungrateful bitches a taste of her theater live and in person, and this is how they reward her?! This is the kind of shit you only see on the silver screen (or at 3am on {{Creator/Starz}} when ''Film/{{Supergirl|1984}}'' comes on)! They should've pulled $11 out of their pocket books and stuffed it in her ass crack while she did the downward dog in middle of the aisle!''
-->--'''[[https://dlisted.com/2011/02/21/how-dare-they-treat-faye-dunaway-like-this/ Michael K.]]''', "How Dare They Treat Faye Dunaway Like This!!!!!!"

->''All in the past and of no consequence any longer… I am very fond of {{Creator/Michelle|Pfeiffer}}'s work over the years. She's really rather cool although when I need to feel better I just watch ''Film/Grease2'' and howl with laughter.''
-->--'''Creator/SeanYoung''' on campaigning [[Film/BatmanReturns to be Catwoman]], Website/{{YouTube}} comment

->'''Creator/EmmaThompson:''' The truth is, I have misled the public about my past.\\
'''Creator/EllenDeGeneres:''' So you did a little soft porn.\\
'''Emma:''' No, it's not just that.
-->-- ''Ellen''

->"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that special and smash it."
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeLucas''' on ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''

->"If I could go back in time to change stuff? Oh yeah, there's a few movies I would ''not'' have done."
-->-- '''Thomas Howell''', during an interview regarding his role as Zoom in ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueTheFlashpointParadox''

->"Not since the British raided Cologne had so many bombs landed in such a small space in such a short time."
-->-- '''Creator/RodSerling''', on his early writing career.

->'''Creator/JonathanRoss:''' Alright, we've established -- John can act. John can ''push a dog in a pram''. John's got his own... [[TakeThat not-particularly-well-crafted]], action figure. He can sing, and so on and so forth. [[Film/SharkAttack3Megalodon But can he choose the right movies to be in?]]\\
'''Creator/JohnBarrowman:''' ... Oh, ''[[OhCrap SHIT.]]''
-->-- ''Friday Night with Jonathan Ross''

->''A number of wiser and better writers than me tell me that it is '''universal''' among writers to be embarrassed by anything they've ever written, but I never really believed it until now. The first chapter of this story is ''terrible''. It is '''shamefully bad''' I can't imagine how ''any'' of you managed to stand it. I got three pages in and closed the lid of my laptop by reflex as a defence mechanism to get the ''horror away.
-->-- '''Sir Poley''', author of ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8096183/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Natural-20 Harry Potter and the Natural 20]]''.

->'''Creator/{{JewelStaite}}''': Dear Internet; While I agree that I was indeed a precociously adorable child, let's go ahead and bury the [[http://youtu.be/VLWofEA_tlo?t=12m11s PartyMania]]. Cool? Thx a million.\\
'''[=GlitchMike=]''': [=@JewelStaite=]: You do realize that [[StreisandEffect you've just caused 38,000 people to google "Jewel Staite Party Mania",]] right?\\
'''[=JewelStaite=]''': [[OhCrap Aw, shit.]]
-->-- Twitter conversation

->'''Per''': Written for a Creator/BetteMidler-[[Film/HocusPocus movie]], but ended up in the Film/SuperMarioBros flop instead. We thought it was cool to have a song in that movie, because we both liked Creator/DennisHopper and Creator/BobHoskins.\\
'''Marie''': But that was before we saw the movie.\\
'''Per''': I still like the song in a way... but if you wanted to make a parody of Roxette, it would probably sound something like this.\\
'''Marie''': Not one of our most inspired moments.\\
'''Per''': Right, no big surprises here. Recorded in England and charted best there. That was a bit of surprise, though.\\
'''Marie''': I was nine months pregnant when I recorded the vocals.\\
'''Per''': That's no surprise.
-->-- '''Music/{{Roxette}}''', [[http://www.oocities.org/roxettepage/Greatest_hits.htm on]] "Almost Unreal"

->'''Kirsty Young:''' And can you remember any of the lyrics from any of the songs?\\
'''Creator/RickyGervais:''' Um.\\
'''Kirsty:''' I just saw what flashed through your eyes then; you can, but you're not sure you want to say them.\\
'''Ricky:''' That's exactly right.\\
'''Kirsty:''' Go on then.\\
'''Ricky:''' No! No, you were right; I can, but I'm not going to say them.\\
'''Kirsty:''' Why not?\\
'''Ricky:''' Because it makes me want to crawl into a dustbin.
-->-- Discussing Ricky's old band on ''Radio/DesertIslandDiscs''.

->"''The Diamond Head Game'' was such a piece of you know what. They took a poorly designed game, shot it in Hawaii, and thought it was a good idea. I hated every minute of hosting it."
-->-- '''Bob Eubanks'''

->"I wrote the episode, or at least the teleplay. It’s a terrible episode. People are very unforgiving about that episode. I’ve written well over a hundred episodes of ''Star Trek'', yet it seems to be the only episode anyone brings up, you know? 'Brannon Braga, who wrote 'Threshold'!' Out of a hundred and some episodes, you’re gonna have some stinkers! Unfortunately, that was a royal, steaming stinker."
-->-- '''Creator/BrannonBraga''', on the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E15Threshold Threshold]]"

->"I was embarrassed then to be a part of them, and I still am. ESPECIALLY ''WebVideo/ToBoldlyFlee''."
-->-- '''Creator/LindsayEllis''' on the Website/ChannelAwesome anniversary specials.

->"I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry."
-->--'''Creator/LoganPaul''' on his infamous Aokigahara video.

->Postal III'' is a third-person shooter in which you...ehh...alright, I'm going to level with you - don't buy ''Postal III''. Seriously, you'd regret it. Hell, you'd regret playing it ''for free''. It's a borderline broken, boring, frustrating, unfinished mess, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. You're a responsible adult (we hope), so I'm sure you're capable of making your own purchasing decisions. I just want you to consider all of the above, before you make the leap of regret into paying real, hard-earned money for this title. [[DisownedAdaptation We don't own the game, we can't support it and we don't get anything from its sales]], so if you decide to risk the purchase - you're on your own.''
-->-- '''Running With Scissors''', on ''VideoGame/PostalIII''

->''I guess I should just accept "[[VideoGame/TheHalloweenHack bad rom hack with swears]]" as part of my eternal legacy''
-->-- '''Music/TobyFox'''

->''Yeah, we apologise for your hellish experience in playing this {{ROM hack}}. It could have been decent, but as we mentioned before, [[UsefulNotes/BetaTest the testing]] was a complete nightmare and [[ObviousBeta wasn't done properly]], so many, many things that should have been made easier, fixed or removed weren't fixed/removed/made easier.''
-->-- '''Cheatmaster-30''' to Levelengine on ''Mario Endgame''.

->''This program includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of people or cultures. These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together.''
-->-- '''Creator/DisneyPlus''' ContentWarning found on some older films

->''The book you have in front of you is one half of a very, very long novel I wrote many years ago. It was my first novel, and as such, I am both very proud of it and desperately embarrassed by it. I'm told this is normal.''
-->-- '''Creator/UrsulaVernon''' in the foreword to ''Literature/BlackDogs'', titled "The Author Apologizes"

->''I can’t bear reading my own writing. It’s one of the most exquisite tortures I can imagine. That said, I did the best job I could at the time, and I’m proud of the book.''
-->-- '''Creator/ChristopherPaolini''' in [[https://www.paolini.net/2017/05/17/qas-book-fives-villain-writing-daily/ a Q&A]], when asked about re-reading his book ''Literature/{{Eragon}}''

->''Happy birthday to me\\
Happy birthday to me\\
Should never have made ''Film/BatmanForever''\\
Or ''WesternAnimation/TitanAE''!''
-->-- '''Creator/DrewBarrymore''' at her 30th birthday party

->''OK now... (cringe) this is the reel that we showed on Black Friday before we re-invisioned Woody's character. It's um... you know... ({{Beat}}) It's bad. You kno-(breaks) It's'' '''''really''''' ''bad. It's kinda r-rough to watch these days...''
-->-- '''Creator/JohnLasseter''' on the infamous Black Friday cut of ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory1''.

->''I understand there has been some controversy about my participation in a documentary called THE PRINCIPLE. Let me assure everyone that I completely agree with the eminent physicist Lawrence Krauss, who was himself misrepresented in the film, and who has written a succinct rebuttal in SLATE. I am not a geocentrist, nor am I in any way a proponent of geocentrism. More importantly, I do not subscribe to anything Robert Sungenis has written regarding science and history and, had I known of his involvement, would most certainly have avoided this documentary. I was a voice for hire, and a misinformed one, at that. I apologize for any confusion that my voice on this trailer may have caused.''
-->-- '''Creator/KateMulgrew''', Facebook statement after realizing she was duped into narrating a fundamentalist Christian DocumentaryOfLies

->"This is Mega Man 1, the original bosses that I drew with my own two hands. When I look at it now, I think 'Man, I really wasn't that good was I?' If one of my character designers that work underneath me now were to bring something like this to me, I'd take one look and say 'No way! This sucks, try again!'"
-->-- '''Creator/KeijiInafune''' regarding the boss designs for the original ''VideoGame/MegaMan1''.

!!Music

-> ''A painful picture I can't forget''
-> ''Now what I see is what I get''
-->-- "Switchback", ''{{Music/Celldweller}}''

->''LESSON: Unless you don’t improve, all of your early work should embarrass you.''

->''Faye Dunaway has been nominated for OSCARS for her tantrums! Studio heads have paid Faye tens of millions of dollars to flare her nostrils and [[{{Hellgate}} open the portal to hell]] by widening her eyes in front of the camera! And Faye gave those ungrateful bitches a taste of her theater live and in person, and this is how they reward her?! This is the kind of shit you only see on the silver screen (or at 3am on {{Creator/Starz}} when ''{{Film/Supergirl}}'' comes on)! They should’ve pulled $11 out of their pocket books and stuffed it in her ass crack while she did the downward dog in middle of the aisle!''

-->-- '''Running With Scissors''', on ''VideoGame/{{Postal}} III''

-->-- '''[[Film/SonicTheHedgehog2020 Ugly Sonic]]''', ''Film/ChipAndDaleRescueRangers''

->''Yeah, we apologise for your hellish experience in playing this {{ROM hack}}. It could have been decent, but as we mentioned before, [[UsefulNotes/BetaTesting the testing]] was a complete nightmare and [[ObviousBeta wasn't done properly]], so many, many things that should have been made easier, fixed or removed weren't fixed/removed/made easier.''

!!VideoGames
->"This is Mega Man 1, the original bosses that I drew with my own two hands. When I look at it now, I think 'man, I really wasn't that good was I?' If one of my character designers that work underneath me now were to bring something like this to me, I'd take one look and say 'No way! This sucks, try again!'"
-->-- ''Creator/KeijiInafune regarding the boss designs for the original VideoGame/MegaMan1.''

'''[=JewelStaite=]''': Aw, shit.

->''A number of wiser and better writers than me tell me that it is '''universal''' among writers to be embarrassed by anything they've ever written, but I never really believed it until now. The first chapter of this story is ''terrible''. It is ''shamefully bad''' I can't imagine how ''any'' of you managed to stand it. I got three pages in and closed the lid of my laptop by reflex as a defence mechanism to get the ''horror away.

-> ''I made a choice that I regret''

'''Creator/JohnBarrowman:''' ... Oh,'''[[OhCrap SHIT.]]''

-->--'''Creator/SeanYoung''' on campaigning [[Film/BatmanReturns to be Catwoman]] Website/{{YouTube}} comment

->"Thank God the character was [[ManicPixieDreamGirl a space cadet]] because I knew nothing."
-->--'''Creator/SeanYoung''' on Jane Austen in Manhattan''

[[AC:Webcomics]]

->'''[[VideoGame/KidIcarus Pit]]:''' Hey man! Haven't seen you in a while. Now we just need to get [[Franchise/{{Castlevania}} Simon]]-\\

'''Mega Man:''' '''''AARGH'''''

->Dear Zach, are you ever embarrassed by any of your old comics?\\
'''[[red:WHAT OLD COMICS?]]'''
-->--''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'' votey (added 10 years after [[https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2006-07-19 this comic's]] original publication)

[[AC:Web Video]]

->Sometimes, you have to take a nasty shit before you take a ''[[AnalogyBackfire better]]'' shit.

->Don't worry about how bad your first page looks, because you'll end up hating it for years no matter what you do.
-->-- ''[[WebAnimation/WelcomeTo Welcome to Webcomics]]''

->Effectively, Disney has gone and made a movie which differs in content only in that it appears to exist to appease [[TakeThat the pedantic f*cks of YouTube with their decades of bad-faith criticism]], [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick and for ever having enabled]] [[Website/ChannelAwesome that atmosphere of pedantic f*ckery]] that led to the creation of a film that goes out of its way to address the plot holes of the film that it's based on... uh, I will never cease my penance walk.
-->-- '''Creator/LindsayEllis''', ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpUx9DnQUkA That Time Disney Remade Beauty and the Beast]]''

->Watching really old videos of yourself, whether it's something that you made or ancient family home videos, is exactly like your first kiss: it's surprising, it's awkward, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and there may even be a bit of blood. But everybody's videos suck when they start out. You don't know editing software tricks top to bottom, your writing blows, you've got no experience, your acting is as convincing as a plastic slide, you've got no confidence in your voice, so it's okay. It's completely normal and understandable to be bad when you're starting out. Still, though, that doesn't mean the videos you made all those years ago ''aren't'' unbearable, because they are. Everybody's are.

[[AC:Western Animation]]

[[AC:Real Life]]

->LESSON: Unless you don’t improve, all of your early work should embarrass you.

->You birds have a hundred thousand bad drawings in you; start getting rid of them now.
-->-- '''Creator/ChuckJones''', quoting one of his art school instructors.

->I know it's an artistic cliche, but every time I look at my past work, I want to projectile vomit.

->If I could go back in time to change stuff? Oh yeah, there's a few movies I would '''not''' have done.

->Not since the British raided Cologne had so many bombs landed in such a small space in such a short time.

'''Creator/JohnBarrowman:''' ... Oh, '''[[OhCrap SHIT.]]'''

->A number of wiser and better writers than me tell me that it is '''universal''' among writers to be embarrassed by anything they've ever written, but I never really believed it until now. The first chapter of this story is '''terrible'''. It is '''shamefully bad'''. I can't imagine how '''any''' of you managed to stand it. I got three pages in and closed the lid of my laptop by reflex as a defence mechanism to get the '''horror away'''.

'''[=JewelStaite=]''': [[OhCrap Aw, shit.]]

'''Creator/RickyGervais:''' [[HesitationEqualsDishonesty ... Um...]]\\

->'''Creator/EmmaThompson:''' The truth is, I have misled the public about my past.\\
'''Creator/EllenDeGeneres:''' So you did a little soft porn.\\
'''Emma:''' No, it's not just that.
-->-- ''Ellen'' (talk show).

-> None of your goddamn business!
-->-- '''Creator/JerryLewis''', on ''Film/TheDayTheClownCried''

->Thank God the character was [[ManicPixieDreamGirl a space cadet]] because I knew nothing.
-->--'''Creator/SeanYoung''' on Jane Austen in Mahattan''

-> ''The Diamond Head Game'' was such a piece of you know what. They took a poorly designed game, shot it in Hawaii, and thought it was a good idea. I hated every minute of hosting it.

-> I guess I should just accept "[[VideoGame/TheHalloweenHack bad rom hack with swears]]" as part of my eternal legacy

-> Yeah, we apologise for your hellish experience in playing this {{ROM hack}}. It could have been decent, but as we mentioned before, [[UsefulNotes/BetaTesting the testing]] was a complete nightmare and [[ObviousBeta wasn't done properly]], so many, many things that should have been made easier, fixed or removed weren't fixed/removed/made easier.

->''"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that special and smash it."''
-->-- '''Creator/GeorgeLucas''' on ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial''

->''"I wrote the episode, or at least the teleplay. It’s a terrible episode. People are very unforgiving about that episode. I’ve written well over a hundred episodes of Star Trek, [[NeverLiveItDown yet it seems to be the only episode anyone brings up, you know]]? 'Brannon Braga, who wrote 'Threshold'!' Out of a hundred and some episodes, you’re gonna have some stinkers! Unfortunately, that was a royal, steaming stinker."''
-->-- '''Creator/BrannonBraga''', on the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E15Threshold Threshold]]"

->'''Per''': Written for a Creator/BetteMidler-[[Film/HocusPocus movie]], but ended up in the Film/SuperMarioBros flop instead. We thought it was cool to have a song in that movie, because we both liked Creator/DennisHopper and Creator/BobHoskins.\\
'''Marie''': But that was before we saw the movie.\\
'''Per''': I still like the song in a way... but if you wanted to make a parody of Roxette, it would probably sound something like this.\\
'''Marie''': Not one of our most inspired moments.\\
'''Per''': Right, no big surprises here. Recorded in England and charted best there. That was a bit of surprise, though.\\
'''Marie''': I was nine months pregnant when I recorded the vocals.\\
'''Per''': That's no surprise.
-->-- '''Music/{{Roxette}}''', [[http://www.oocities.org/roxettepage/Greatest_hits.htm on]] "Almost Unreal"

-> I was embarrassed then to be a part of them, and I still am. ESPECIALLY ''WebVideo/ToBoldlyFlee''.
-->-- '''Creator/LindsayEllis''' on the Website/ChannelAwesome anniversary specials.

-> ''Postal III'' is a third-person shooter in which you...ehh...alright, I'm going to level with you - don't buy ''Postal III''. Seriously, you'd regret it. Hell, you'd regret playing it ''for free''. It's a borderline broken, boring, frustrating, unfinished mess, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. You're a responsible adult (we hope), so I'm sure you're capable of making your own purchasing decisions. I just want you to consider all of the above, before you make the leap of regret into paying real, hard-earned money for this title. [[DisownedAdaptation We don't own the game, we can't support it and we don't get anything from its sales]], so if you decide to risk the purchase - you're on your own.
-->-- '''Running With Scissors''', on ''VideoGame/{{Postal}} III''

'''Ellen [=DeGeneres=]:''' So you did a little soft porn.\\

-->-- '''Cheatmaster-30''' to Levelengine on Mario Endgame.

-->-- '''Brannon Braga''', on the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' episode "Threshold"