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Quotes / Old Shame

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Pit: Hey man! Haven't seen you in a while. Now we just need to get Simon
Mega Man: Ssh! Don't bring that up!
Pit: Bring up what-icus?
Mega Man: AARGH

Web Animation

"Don't worry about how bad your first page looks, because you'll end up hating it for years no matter what you do."

Web Video

"Sometimes you have to take a nasty shit before you take a better shit."

Joey: Hey Yugi, how come everything looks different in this episode?
Yugi: Actually Joey, this is a movie based on Yu-Gi-Oh! Season 0.
Joey: There was a Season 0? How come I never knew about it?
Yugi: It only aired in Japan because it was super violent and depressingly bad.

"Watching really old videos of yourself, whether it's something that you made or ancient family home videos, is exactly like your first kiss: it's surprising, it's awkward, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and there may even be a bit of blood. But everybody's videos suck when they start out. You don't know editing software tricks top to bottom, your writing blows, you've got no experience, your acting is as convincing as a plastic slide, you've got no confidence in your voice, so it's okay. It's completely normal and understandable to be bad when you're starting out. Still, though, that doesn't mean the videos you made all those years ago aren't unbearable, because they are. Everybody's are."

Western Animation

Sideshow Bob: Oh, must you bray night and day at that infernal television!?
Cellmate 1: Oh, look who's talking.
Cellmate 2: Yeah, Bob, you used to be on this show.
Sideshow Bob: Don't remind me! My foolish capering destroyed more young minds than syphilis and pinball combined!

Real Life

LESSON: Unless you don’t improve, all of your early work should embarrass you.
Andrew Nicholls, Valuable Lessons

"You birds have a hundred thousand bad drawings in you; start getting rid of them now."
Chuck Jones, quoting one of his art school instructors

I know it's an artistic cliche, but every time I look at my past work, I want to projectile vomit.

Dear Zach, are you ever embarrassed by any of your old comics?
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal votey (added 10 years after this comic's original publication)

"None of your goddamn business!"

"She was a total bitch, screaming at everyone and saying, ‘Don’t you know who I am?’ ...When she fell asleep, one steward said, ‘I’m going to get that bitch’ and grabbed a bunch of wire hangers and put them on the seat next to her. All the other passengers were snickering. When she woke up as the plane landed, she was wide-eyed with fury, and looked around at whom to blame but had no idea who did it. Then she got up and did yoga in the aisle to calm herself down."
—Anonymous flight attendant on flying with Faye Dunaway

Faye Dunaway has been nominated for OSCARS for her tantrums! Studio heads have paid Faye tens of millions of dollars to flare her nostrils and open the portal to hell by widening her eyes in front of the camera! And Faye gave those ungrateful bitches a taste of her theater live and in person, and this is how they reward her?! This is the kind of shit you only see on the silver screen (or at 3am on Starz when Supergirl comes on)! They should’ve pulled $11 out of their pocket books and stuffed it in her ass crack while she did the downward dog in middle of the aisle!
Michael K., "How Dare They Treat Faye Dunaway Like This!!!!!!"

All in the past and of no consequence any longer… I am very fond of Michelle's work over the years. She's really rather cool although when I need to feel better I just watch Grease 2 and howl with laughter.
Sean Young on campaigning to be Catwoman, YouTube comment

Emma Thompson: The truth is, I have misled the public about my past.
Ellen DeGeneres: So you did a little soft porn.
Emma: No, it's not just that.

"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that special and smash it."

"If I could go back in time to change stuff? Oh yeah, there's a few movies I would not have done."
Thomas Howell, during an interview regarding his role as Zoom in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox

"Not since the British raided Cologne had so many bombs landed in such a small space in such a short time."
Rod Serling, on his early writing career.

Jonathan Ross: Alright, we've established — John can act. John can push a dog in a pram. John's got his own... not-particularly-well-crafted, action figure. He can sing, and so on and so forth. But can he choose the right movies to be in?
John Barrowman: ... Oh, SHIT.
Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

A number of wiser and better writers than me tell me that it is universal among writers to be embarrassed by anything they've ever written, but I never really believed it until now. The first chapter of this story is terrible. It is shamefully bad' I can't imagine how any of you managed to stand it. I got three pages in and closed the lid of my laptop by reflex as a defence mechanism to get the horror away.
Sir Poley, author of Harry Potter and the Natural 20.

JewelStaite: Dear Internet; While I agree that I was indeed a precociously adorable child, let's go ahead and bury the PartyMania. Cool? Thx a million.
GlitchMike: @JewelStaite: You do realize that you've just caused 38,000 people to google "Jewel Staite Party Mania", right?
JewelStaite: Aw, shit.
— Twitter conversation

Per: Written for a Bette Midler-movie, but ended up in the Super Mario Bros. flop instead. We thought it was cool to have a song in that movie, because we both liked Dennis Hopper and Bob Hoskins.
Marie: But that was before we saw the movie.
Per: I still like the song in a way... but if you wanted to make a parody of Roxette, it would probably sound something like this.
Marie: Not one of our most inspired moments.
Per: Right, no big surprises here. Recorded in England and charted best there. That was a bit of surprise, though.
Marie: I was nine months pregnant when I recorded the vocals.
Per: That's no surprise.
Roxette, on "Almost Unreal"

Kirsty Young: And can you remember any of the lyrics from any of the songs?
Ricky Gervais: Um.
Kirsty: I just saw what flashed through your eyes then; you can, but you're not sure you want to say them.
Ricky: That's exactly right.
Kirsty: Go on then.
Ricky: No! No, you were right; I can, but I'm not going to say them.
Kirsty: Why not?
Ricky: Because it makes me want to crawl into a dustbin.
— Discussing Ricky's old band on Desert Island Discs.

"The Diamond Head Game was such a piece of you know what. They took a poorly designed game, shot it in Hawaii, and thought it was a good idea. I hated every minute of hosting it."
Bob Eubanks

"I wrote the episode, or at least the teleplay. It’s a terrible episode. People are very unforgiving about that episode. I’ve written well over a hundred episodes of Star Trek, yet it seems to be the only episode anyone brings up, you know? 'Brannon Braga, who wrote 'Threshold'!' Out of a hundred and some episodes, you’re gonna have some stinkers! Unfortunately, that was a royal, steaming stinker."

"I was embarrassed then to be a part of them, and I still am. ESPECIALLY To Boldly Flee."
Lindsay Ellis on the Channel Awesome anniversary specials.

Postal III is a third-person shooter in which you...ehh...alright, I'm going to level with you - don't buy Postal III. Seriously, you'd regret it. Hell, you'd regret playing it for free. It's a borderline broken, boring, frustrating, unfinished mess, and there was nothing we could do to stop it. You're a responsible adult (we hope), so I'm sure you're capable of making your own purchasing decisions. I just want you to consider all of the above, before you make the leap of regret into paying real, hard-earned money for this title. We don't own the game, we can't support it and we don't get anything from its sales, so if you decide to risk the purchase - you're on your own.
Running With Scissors, on Postal III

I guess I should just accept "bad rom hack with swears" as part of my eternal legacy

Yeah, we apologise for your hellish experience in playing this ROM hack. It could have been decent, but as we mentioned before, the testing was a complete nightmare and wasn't done properly, so many, many things that should have been made easier, fixed or removed weren't fixed/removed/made easier.
Cheatmaster-30 to Levelengine on Mario Endgame.

This program includes negative depictions and/or mistreatment of people or cultures. These stereotypes were wrong then and are wrong now. Rather than remove this content, we want to acknowledge its harmful impact, learn from it and spark conversation to create a more inclusive future together.
Disney+ Content Warning found on some older films

The book you have in front of you is one half of a very, very long novel I wrote many years ago. It was my first novel, and as such, I am both very proud of it and desperately embarrassed by it. I'm told this is normal.
Ursula Vernon in the foreword to Black Dogs, titled "The Author Apologizes"

I can’t bear reading my own writing. It’s one of the most exquisite tortures I can imagine. That said, I did the best job I could at the time, and I’m proud of the book.
Christopher Paolini in a Q&A, when asked about re-reading his book Eragon


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