History Quotes / MistakenForGay

->'''Barry Allen:''' No, mom, I'm fine. But [[ForWantOfANail everything else has... changed]]. And I have to find out why. I think it probably has something to do with me being...\\

'''Link:''' Okay, okay, whatever you say dollface.

'''Riley:''' ''[gives her a deadpan look]'' [[PoliticallyIncorrectHero Considering he and I once spent an hour debating what it would feel like to touch a boob, I think that's a NO, sugarbutt]].

-->-- '''Diego''', ''WesternAnimation/IceAge'', after seeing Manny and Sid defending a human child, claiming it's "theirs", and [[NotWhatItLooksLike drawing the wrong conclusion]]

->'''Mr. Burns:''' We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.\\

'''Homer:''' Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these [[DoubleEntendre backdoor shenanigans]]. Sure, I'm flattered; maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no.

->'''Hitomi:''' For you two [Madoka and Sayaka] to have gotten so close in just ''one'' night- '''what did you do after I left yesterday'''?!\\

'''Hitomi:''' You're both girls! [Runs away] [[MemeticMutation Girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls!]]

-> '''Captain America:''' Attention, Hulk! This is Captain America speaking again! You see these spacecraft in the sky? The big triangular machines? Well, I was talking to the pilots earlier, and you know what they told me? You know what they were saying about you, Hulk? These guys called you a sissy boy, buddy. You really gonna let them get away with that?
-> '''Hulk:''' No! Hulk no sissy boy... HULK STRAIGHT!!
-->-- ''ComicBook/TheUltimates''

->''"Everyone has always thought you were homosexual, angel. People in countries that wouldn't have names for hundreds of years, people in ancient Greece, people in Rome, people in France and Russia and England and Zimbabwe. The people here in this little neighborhood think so too, and I suppose some of them are quite offended that you've got a live-in, but most of them don't really care about you one way or the other, and the rest are quite pleased. Don't worry about it. Do you think I should take to gardening in tiny cut-off jean shorts?"''
-->-- '''Crowley''' to Aziraphale in the ''Literature/GoodOmens'' fanfic "[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/1630271 A Precise and Accurate History of Monday, Eleven Years Later]]"

->"I'm just saying," Michael continued without malice, bending to do something delicate and ornate with the fuel pump, "that certain… traits have been called to my attention and I just wanted to let you know that it makes absolutely no difference in our friendship. You are the same man that I met and respected years ago."\\
"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot to me," Harry said sincerely. "It would probably mean much more if I were actually gay."
-->-- [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/975606 This]] [[Literature/TheDresdenFiles Dresden Files]] fic

'''Female student:''' Yeah, I mean really. [[ValuesDissonance I mean, you two stick so close some of us were starting to wonder if you were... you know...]]\\
'''Riley:''' ''[gives her a deadpan look]'' [[PoliticallyIncorrectHero Considering he and I once spent an hour debating what it would feel like to touch a boob, I think that’s a NO, sugarbutt.]]
-->--''FanFic/{{Coyote}}''

->'''[[Series/StarTrekEnterprise Hoshi Sato]]''': "Um, Malcolm, is there a reason you brought me to this street?"
->'''Malcolm Reed''': "Well, I must confess I prefer the atmosphere on this street."
->'''Hoshi Sato''': "I'm so sorry I never made the connection. I know how difficult it still is for men like you to be open."
->'''Malcolm Reed''': "Well, I don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm glad you understand. There are still too many men leering at a Starfleet officer for my tastes."
->'''Hoshi Sato''': "Malcolm, you should feel flattered. They're all staring at you."
->'''Malcolm Reed''': ''(thinking)'' "I am a dim-witted git. I have clear evidence of this because it took me almost thirty minutes to realise we were on the gay side of the city. Suddenly the conversation with Hoshi took on an entirely different context. I am doomed. Hoshi now thinks I am a sleazy, gay, alcoholic weapons jock who can't take care of a dumb animal."
->''(later)''
->'''Hoshi Sato''': "You know, why are all the best guys gay? It's just not fair."
->'''Liz Cutler''': "Gay? Our chief engineer? Hoshi, the last name is Tuck-her, not Tuck-him. Believe me, every cell in his body is geared for loving women."

[[folder:Film — Animated]]

->'''Barry Allen''': No mom, I'm fine. But everything else has... changed. And I have to find out why. I think it probably has something to do with me being...\\
'''Nora Allen''': Gay?\\
'''Barry''': What? No...\\
'''Nora''': It's okay. I love you no matter what.
-->--''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueTheFlashpointParadox''

[[folder:Film — Live-Action]]
->'''Marcus''': My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night!\\
'''Mike''': Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.\\
'''Marcus''': When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves!\\
'''Angry customer''': (to the store manager) In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?! (to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out) And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!"

->'''Scott''': I'm in love with my pen pal! I'm in love with Mike!\\
'''Cooper''': Okay, okay. You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, cause, eh, I think they already know.\\
'''Scott''': No, you idiot, [[GenderBlenderName Mike is a girl]]!\\
'''Cooper''': No, no, no, I get it, yeah. [[{{Seme}} He's the girl]], [[{{Uke}} you're the girl]]. Sometimes you're both the girl. Right, right? That's hot. But, you know, whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.

->'''Grace''': Do you have a girlfriend?\\
'''Alex''': No.\\
'''Grace''': How old are you now?\\
'''Alex''': I'll be 36 in October.\\
'''Grace''': My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.

'''Cmd. Eric Lassard:''' ''(awkward)'' ...I guess there are places you could go ...certain bars and so on...\\
'''Cpt. Peter Lassard:''' Eric, what are you talking about?\\
'''Cmd. Eric Lassard:''' Does Margret know about this?\\
'''Cpt. Peter Lassard:''' Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!\\
'''Cmd. Eric Lassard:''' Oooooh! ''That's easy!''
-->-- ''Film/PoliceAcademy2TheirFirstAssignment''

->''Can't a dude stick his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?''
-->--'''T.J. Hicks''', ''Film/DeuceBigalow''

->'''Michael''': She thinks I'm gay! I told her about Julie and she thinks I'm gay!\\
'''George''': Julie thinks you're gay?\\
'''Michael''': No, my friend Sandy.\\
'''George''': Sleep with her!\\
'''Michael''': I slept with her already! She's still thinks I'm gay.\\
'''George''': ...oh, that's not good, Michael.
-->-- ''{{Film/Tootsie}}''

->There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting [[OurAngelsAreDifferent Aziraphale]]: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was [[UnusualEuphemism gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide]].
-->--''Literature/GoodOmens''

->They was buggering each other in there! The retard and the pretty boy! Warwick and me caught 'em with their dicks out!

->'''Mels:''' Come on. Seriously. [[EveryoneCanSeeIt It's got to be you two. Oh cut to the song, it's getting boring]].\\

'''Amy:''' I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy. But he's, you know—\\
'''Rory:''' —a friend.\\
'''Amy:''' —gay.\\

'''Amy:''' Yes you are.\\
'''Rory:''' No. No I'm not.\\
'''Amy:''' Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the ''slightest'' interest in a '''girl'''?\\

'''Amy:''' I mean I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name ''one'' girl you've paid the ''slightest'' bit of attention to. ''[Rory's mouth opens, closes, opens... and he runs out of the room; realization plays over Amy's face]''. ...Oh my God! Rory! ''[she runs after him]''.\\

-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E8LetsKillHitler "Let's Kill Hitler"]]

-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS32E12ClosingTime "Closing Time"]]

->'''Liz:''' What made you think I was gay?\\
'''Jack:''' Your shoes.\\
'''Liz:''' Well, I'm straight.\\
'''Jack:''' Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.
-->-- ''Series/ThirtyRock''

->''First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay\\
But here I am singing on his wedding day''
-->-- '''Phoebe's song''', ''Series/{{Friends}}''

->'''Dean:''' Of course, the most troubling question is [[RelativeError why do these people assume we're gay?]]\\
'''Sam:''' Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
-->--''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', ''Playthings''

->'''George:''' Look, we're not gay.\\
'''Jerry:''' NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat!\\
'''George:''' No, no, of course not!
-->--''Series/{{Seinfeld}}''

->'''Liz''': People ask me, "What's wrong with your brother-in-law? Is he gay?"\\
'''Arthur''': And what do you say?\\
'''Liz''': I say, "I honestly don't know." I say, "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell these days."\\
'''Arthur''': Well, thanks!\\
'''Liz''': Face facts, Arthur - a man your age, living with his mother, doesn't go out with women, does all the cooking - what else is one to think?\\
'''Arthur''': Perhaps one could think that here is a man who, for a change, puts his mother's welfare ahead of trying to prove his own manhood by chasing after everything in a skirt that moves!\\
'''Liz''': No, that's far too complicated. They'll just think you're gay.\\
'''Maggie''': (''walking in from the kitchen'') Who's gay?\\
'''Arthur''': I am, apparently!\\
'''Maggie''': Oh, no, Arthur. [[HaveAGayOldTime You've been very down in the dumps lately. Not at all the gay little boy you used to be]].
-->-- ''Series/MotherAndSon'', "The Boyfriend''

->''"Hang on... He reckons we're a pair of lesbians! Either that or you've had it off with a kebab."''
-->-- '''Sharon Theodopolopodous''', ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS1E4WomensTroubles Women's Troubles]]"

->'''Sharon''': You could be like its second mum.
->'''Tracey''': People'll think we're lesbians.
->'''Sharon''': We'll tell 'em we're sisters!
->'''Tracey''': An' whadda ya think lesbians say?
-->-- ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS7E8AreYouBeingServed Are You Being Served?]]"

[[folder:Video Games]]
->'''Takayuki''': Who is this man in your brochure?\\
'''Natsui''': You're interested in men?\\
'''Takayuki''': Not like that! Tell me who this person is.
-->--''VisualNovel/RootLetter''

->'''Kanji''': What are you guys doing?\\
'''Yosuke''': Watching you hanging out with a dude!\\
'''Chie''': NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat!\\
'''Yosuke''': Yeah! I mean, if you like dudes...\\
'''Kanji''': [[BerserkButton You sayin' I like dudes...?]]\\
''{{Beat}}''\\
'''Narrator''': And then there was a wacky chase scene.\\
'''Yosuke & Chie''': AAAAAAAAAAAA\\
'''Kanji''': Nooooo come back I love girls!!
-->-- ''WebComic/{{Hiimdaisy}}'s [[VideoGame/{{Persona 4}} Big Long Persona 4 Comic]]''

[[folder:Web Video]]

'''Construction Worker:''' Hey, buddy! I don't swing that way! ''(laughter)''
-->--''WebAnimation/MonsterLab2021, Episode 7: Jesus Wept''

'''Homer's brain:''' Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?\\
'''Mr. Burns:''' And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours!\\
'''Homer's brain:''' Wait a minute, is he coming on to me?\\

'''Homer's brain:''' Oh my god, he ''is'' coming on to me!\\

'''Homer's brain:''' ''[screams]''\\
'''Homer:''' Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered; maybe even a little curious. But the answer is no.
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS4E17LastExitToSpringfield The Last Exit to Springfield]]"

->'''Franklin:''' Yo, crudes! It's Hudson... with ''Hailey.''
->'''Fergy:''' Wow, and she's even more beautiful in person!
->'''Paulie:''' Yeah! She looks exactly like Hudson!
->''[[{{Beat}} (Both Franklin and Fergy both awkwardly stare at Paulie.)]]''
->'''Paulie:''' I mean, you know, as a girl!
->''[[{{Beat}} (still staring at Paulie)]]''
->'''Paulie:''' WHAT!?
--->--''WesternAnimation/VivaPinata'', "Tabloid for Two"

-->-- '''Sharon Theodopolopodous''', ''Series/BirdsOfAFeather'', "[[Recap/BirdsOfAFeatherS1E4WomensTroubles Women's
Troubles]]"