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Quotes / Mistaken for Gay

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    Anime & Manga 
Hitomi: For you two [Madoka and Sayaka] to have gotten so close in just one night- what did you do after I left yesterday?!
Sayaka: I can't believe she's going there...
Hitomi: You're both girls! [Runs away] Girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls, girls can't love girls!

    Fan Works 
"Everyone has always thought you were homosexual, angel. People in countries that wouldn't have names for hundreds of years, people in ancient Greece, people in Rome, people in France and Russia and England and Zimbabwe. The people here in this little neighborhood think so too, and I suppose some of them are quite offended that you've got a live-in, but most of them don't really care about you one way or the other, and the rest are quite pleased. Don't worry about it. Do you think I should take to gardening in tiny cut-off jean shorts?"

"I'm just saying," Michael continued without malice, bending to do something delicate and ornate with the fuel pump, "that certain… traits have been called to my attention and I just wanted to let you know that it makes absolutely no difference in our friendship. You are the same man that I met and respected years ago."
"Thank you, Michael, that means a lot to me," Harry said sincerely. "It would probably mean much more if I were actually gay."
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    Film — Animated 
"I see. You can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt."
Diego, Ice Age, after seeing Manny and Sid defending a human child, claiming it's "theirs", and drawing the wrong conclusion

    Film — Live-Action 
Marcus: My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night!
Mike: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus: When you popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves!
Angry customer: (to the store manager) In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?! (to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out) And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!"

Scott: I'm in love with my pen pal! I'm in love with Mike!
Cooper: Okay, okay. You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, listen, I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. And don't worry about telling your folks, cause, eh, I think they already know.
Scott: No, you idiot, Mike is a girl!
Cooper: No, no, no, I get it, yeah. He's the girl, you're the girl. Sometimes you're both the girl. Right, right? That's hot. But, you know, whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it.

Grace: Do you have a girlfriend?
Alex: No.
Grace: How old are you now?
Alex: I'll be 36 in October.
Grace: My grandson's gay, too. I'll give you his number.

Lancelot: We were in the nick of time, you were in a great peril.
Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were, you were in a terrible peril!
Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril!
Lancelot: No, it was too perilous!
Galahad: Look, it's a duty of a knight to sample as much peril as I can!
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Galahad: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No, it's unhealthy.
Galahad: Bet you're gay!
Lancelot: No, I'm not.

Cpt. Peter Lassard: I need to get my hands on some healthy young men.
Cmd. Eric Lassard: (awkward) ...I guess there are places you could go ...certain bars and so on...
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, what are you talking about?
Cmd. Eric Lassard: Does Margret know about this?
Cpt. Peter Lassard: Eric, I'm in trouble here and I need some new recruits!
Cmd. Eric Lassard: Oooooh! That's easy!

Gordon: Come on, touch my breast. Just one.
Coleman: I knew it!
West: Now touch my breast. See, that's what a breast is supposed to feel like. Now touch yourself.
Gordon: Oh my God, I'm hard!

Can't a dude stick his hand down another man's pants without setting off the faggot alarm?
T.J. Hicks, Deuce Bigalow

Michael: She thinks I'm gay! I told her about Julie and she thinks I'm gay!
George: Julie thinks you're gay?
Michael: No, my friend Sandy.
George: Sleep with her!
Michael: I slept with her already! She's still thinks I'm gay.
George: ...oh, that's not good, Michael.

    Literature 
There were three things that people assumed upon first meeting Aziraphale: That he was intelligent, that he was British, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys high on nitrous oxide.

    Live-Action TV 
Val: Hope you don't mind my saying, Doctor, but you look ever so sweet. You and your partner and the baby.
Doctor: "Partner." Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
Val: Sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy, not in this day and age.
Doctor Who, "Closing Time"

Mels: Come on. Seriously. It's got to be you two. Oh cut to the song, it's getting boring.
Amy: Nice thought, okay? But completely impossible.
Rory: Yeah. Impossible.
Amy: I'd love to. He's gorgeous. He's my favorite guy. But he's, you know—
Rory: —a friend.
Amy: —gay.
Rory: I'm not gay.
Amy: Yes you are.
Rory: No. No I'm not.
Amy: Of course you are, don't be stupid. In the whole time I've known you, when have you shown the slightest interest in a girl?
Mels: Penny in the air.
Amy: I mean I've known you for what, ten years? I've seen you practically every day. Name one girl you've paid the slightest bit of attention to. [Rory's mouth opens, closes, opens...and he runs out of the room. Realization plays over Amy's face]. ...Oh my God! Rory! [She runs after him].
Mels: And the penny drops.
Doctor Who, "Let's Kill Hitler"

Ryan: Can I stay with you for a while? We could tell your landlord I'm gay.
Colin: Boy, that would be zany!

Liz: What made you think I was gay?
Jack: Your shoes.
Liz: Well, I'm straight.
Jack: Those shoes are definitely bi-curious.

First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay
But here I am singing on his wedding day
Phoebe's song, Friends

Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Supernatural, Playthings

George: Look, we're not gay.
Jerry: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That!
George: No, no, of course not!

Liz: People ask me, "What's wrong with your brother-in-law? Is he gay?"
Arthur: And what do you say?
Liz: I say, "I honestly don't know." I say, "I don't think so, but it's hard to tell these days."
Arthur: Well, thanks!
Liz: Face facts, Arthur - a man your age, living with his mother, doesn't go out with women, does all the cooking - what else is one to think?
Arthur: Perhaps one could think that here is a man who, for a change, puts his mother's welfare ahead of trying to prove his own manhood by chasing after everything in a skirt that moves!
Liz: No, that's far too complicated. They'll just think you're gay.
Maggie: (walking in from the kitchen) Who's gay?
Arthur: I am, apparently!

    Webcomics 
Kanji: What are you guys doing?
Yosuke: Watching you hanging out with a dude!
Chie: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That!
Yosuke: Yeah! I mean, if you like dudes...
Kanji: You sayin' I like dudes...?
Beat
Narrator: And then there was a wacky chase scene.
Yosuke & Chie: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Kanji: Nooooo come back I love girls!!
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