History Quotes / MediaWatchdog

->"'Yooouuu can not say filth flarn filth flarn filth in front of people.' And I said, 'I never said no ''filth flarn filth!''[='=] He said, 'You know what I'm talking about. I can't use the type of language that you use, but you ''know'' what I mean when I say ''filth flarn flarn flarn filth.''[='=] And I said, "I never said no ''filth flarn filth'', and I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm offended that you called. Fuck you.' And that's when Bill got pissed. 'That's what I'm talking about! Yoooouuuu cannot say... ''fuck!''[='=]"

[[folder:Stand-up Comedy]]

->"'Yooouuu can not say filth flarn filth flarn filth in front of people.' And I said, 'I never said no ''filth flarn filth!''[='=] He said, 'You know what I'm talking about. I can't use the type of language that you use, but you ''know'' what I mean when I say ''filth flarn flarn flarn filth.''[='=] And I said, "I never said no ''filth flarn filth'', and I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm offended that you called. Fuck you.' And that's when Bill got ''pissed''. 'That's what I'm talking about! Yoooouuuu cannot say... '?''fuck!''"

->"'Yooouuu can not say filth flarn filth flarn filth in front of people.' And I said, 'I never said no ''filth flarn filth!''[='=] He said, 'You know what I'm talking about. I can't use the type of language that you use, but you ''know'' what I mean when I say filth flarn flarn flarn filth.' And I said, "I never said no filth flarn filth, and I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm offended that you called. Fuck you.' And that's when Bill got ''pissed''. "That's what I'm talking about! Yoooouuuu cannot say... 'fuck'!"

->''There’s a lot of people I love on Website/{{Twitter}}, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you [[TheFundamentalist you should be buried under a pile of rocks.]]''
-->--'''Lena Dunham''', executive producer of ''{{Series/Girls}}'', on quitting Twitter

->''"Mary Whitehouse has taken umbrage, [[GrumpyOldMan no surprise there.]]"''

->''"Yes, {{UsefulNotes/Australia}} continues its valiant efforts to rescue its beer-swilling, thong-wearing, spouse-beating population from moral degeneracy, and I, in turn, continue to fight the power with daring guerrilla tactics--like UsefulNotes/{{Steam}} codes. (Just call me "Play Guevara")...and you know damn well it wasn't for its innovative gameplay or its heart-warming love story about a combat boot trying in vain to reunite with a concrete pavement."''

->''"Oh, the [[UsefulNotes/NationalFootballLeague NFL]], where [[Music/JanetJackson flashing a harmless lady nipple]] is an unforgivable sin, but abusing dogs and women isn’t."''

->''"When living Series/CrankYankers puppet Music/NickiMinaj released the video for her song 'Only' last Friday, a video that looks sort of like ''[[Theatre/TheProducers Springtime for Hitler]]'' crossed with ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'', she probably didn’t anticipate that it would cause any where near as many pearls to be clutched than her ''WesternAnimation/GeorgeOfTheJungle'' late-night phone sex ad video for 'Anaconda' did. After all, 'Only' doesn’t feature a single butt! Okay fine, there was one ass (Music/ChrisBrown)."''

->''"The group was instigated after Tipper observed her daughter listening to “Darling Nikki” by {{Music/Prince}} (lyrics about masturbation), and, in an inference process worthy of David Noebel, decided that rock & roll caused teen suicide, murder, Satanism, drug and alcohol use, and worse. Evidential base? [[ChewbaccaDefense Yeah, right.]]"''

->''"''"The top rope hurricanrana looks like a devastating finishing maneuver, but it doesn't hurt at all--if you ''know the trick to it''"'' just demean the formidable athletic talents of wrestlers, not to mention the intelligence of the fans. And how many kids are going to be trying these potentially dangerous moves now that they ''"[[FridgeHorror know the trick to it]]?"'' Not until the very end of the show did NBC put a disclaimer telling you not to try the moves at home."''

->''"[[Wrestling/JunkyardDog JYD]] caught Wrestling/RandySavage’s steel chair and proceeded to smash his own head into it eight times. If this were today’s WWE, Junkyard Dog would have been fined for each of those chair shots."''
-->-- '''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/wrestlingclassic/ The Wrestling Classic - To Quote Nelson Muntz, "I Can Think of Two Things Wrong With That Title!"]]

->''"I am a father, and like many fathers I live in mortal fear of my children attacking me. There’s already [[WellDoneSonGuy an unspoken tension]] between us. I’m getting older and weaker, they’re getting bigger and stronger. I don’t need lunatics like Creator/DrSeuss exacerbating that tension with lines such as [='=]'' We like to hop. We like to hop on top of Pop.''[='=]"''

->''"For the most part, her complaints were transparently idiotic -- her objection to the cliffhanger in ''[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS14E3TheDeadlyAssassin}} The Deadly Assassin]]'' was that children would believe that [[OffscreenInertia the Doctor’s head was being held underwater for an entire week]], a suggestion [[InsaneTrollLogic that ascribes an almost comical level of televisual illiteracy]] onto children. But she was always good for [[YouCanPanicNow a few exuberant and tabloid-friendly quotes]] like her famously description of ''Doctor Who'' as ''“[[MurderSimulators teatime brutality for tots]],”'' and had enough supporters to be influential in spite of her obvious deficiencies of reason."''

->''"You’ve got to love how much controversy surrounded this book at the time, with the Doctor (Shudder! Gasp!) taking magic mushrooms to contact the Blue. I was 13 at the time this book was released and I have to say, after reading it, [[SarcasmMode I was a regular user and always high as a kite trying to contact mind controlling aliens]]. Christ! Give children some bloody respect! The Doctor has since murdered people (''The Burning'') and married and set up shop in a whorehouse (both in ''The Adventuress of Henrietta Street''), but nobody got in a tizzy about that."''

->''"[[SoBadItsGood This is a classic.]] Two Fundamentalists get their panties in a bunch over mystical themes in cartoons and toys... It also makes me kind of jealous, seeing as how frickin' lame and depressing the toys we [[TheSeventies 70s latchkey types]] had to suffer with were. I don't know what's going on in Cartoonland these days (my kids are all too old for this stuff now, alas) but I have a feeling that [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad political correctness]] and general malaise has probably accomplished what religious hysteria could not and ruined a lot of the fun for kids."''
-->--'''[[http://secretsunjr.blogspot.com/2014/09/satans-toybox.html Christopher Loring Knowles]]''' on Gary Greenwald's ''Deception of a Generation''

->''"Oh yes, much like the {{Chick Tract}}s warned us, ''D&D'' was my enticing entry point to a world of decadent sin and '''[[Film/RevengeOfTheNerds NEEEEEEEERD]]'''ery... Which might make it more ironic that the first group to get me into the tumbling die was a group of Evangelical kids. Sure, they may have tweaked the rules so that [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic magic was actually just psionics]] (because apparently an omniscient ruler of the Universe with a hate-on for anything even hinting of the dark vile forces of magick is also apparently easily fooled by a simple search and replace… no no see, my fictional character is [[MagicAIsMagicA setting things on fire with their brain]], not random fictional magical powers, so we’re all good)."''

->''"Oh, and there’s a split-second shot of Bond kicking a military cop [[GroinAttack in the crotch]]. Note that he [[{{Badbutt}} wears a helmet on a bike]], lest any children imitate him, but he still kicks a cop in the crotch."''

->''"The Motion Picture Association of America is less than pleased about a new poster for directors Creator/RobertRodriguez and Creator/FrankMiller’s new ''Sin City'' film adaptation, ''A Dame to Kill For''. The poster depicts the title character, Ava Lord, played by actress Creator/EvaGreen, wearing a sheer gown that doesn’t really cover all that much. Specifially, the MPAA complained about the 'curve of under breast and dark nipple/areola circle visible through sheer gown.'\\
Reading a Frank Miller comic would probably [[YourHeadAsplode make the MPAA’s collective head explode.]]"''

->''"We start out with a parental discretion warning. I've whined about this before. The last time they did this was when Lionel [[SuicideIsPainless put a gun to his head and contemplated suicide because he was going to die in pain]]. Because, you know, that's not something someone might do or something a kid might have to one day confront on their own. Something that parents might WANT to have brought before their kids, given the high rate of suicide in teenagers. Y'know."''

->''"Boy, am I glad they cut that last shot out of the theatrical version. I hate it when my slasher movies [[ShapedLikeItself contain slashings in them]]. Just as I hate comedies that don't cut out the funny parts."''

-> ''They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this:\\

->''"In preparing for this debate, I did a little research, and I discovered something astonishing: There was violence in the past, [[DeadpanSnarker long before cartoons were invented.]]"''

->''"To hold a pen is to be at war."''

->''"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all."''

->''"Harry's world says that drinking dead animal blood gives power, a satanic human sacrifice and Harry's powerful blood brings new life, demon possession is not spiritually dangerous, and that passing through fire, contacting the dead, and conversing with ghosts, others in the spirit world, and more, is normal and acceptable."''

->''"Through this material, today's youth can be stimulated to sexual activities for which he has no legitimate outlet. He is even [[HeteronormativeCrusader enticed to enter the world of Homosexuals, Lesbians, Sadists, Masochists, and other sex deviants.]] The psychiatric terms for these ''unnatural'' sex acts are unknown to most ''decent'' adults in our country. But through these solicitous materials, these abnormalities are corrupting the minds and the hearts of our children. Perversion for profit!"''

->''"He still gives marks to novels not for style nor insight nor wisdom nor art, but for 'morality.' Are these nice people? Is this a nice author? Adultery, premarital intercourse, aberration, are wicked things nice people don’t do and if an author does not firmly put them down and opt for marriage and fidelity the offending work must go. Prescott’s favorite pejorative adjective is 'dull.' ''{{Literature/Lolita}}'', he declared with more than usual horror, was 'dull, dull, dull!' Now ''Lolita'' was many things, but it was never dull. It was also literature, a category [[KnowNothingKnowItAll peculiarly mystifying]] to Prescott."''

->''"Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and [[WindmillCrusader attacked a hot fudge sundae.]]"''

->''"When we elected UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan and the conservatives decided that they would decide not just what their children would read but what all children would read, it went crazy. My feeling in the beginning was wait, this is America: we don't have censorship, we have, you know, freedom to read, freedom to write, freedom of the press, we don't do this, we don't ban books. But then they did."''

->''"There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?"''

->''"People had stopped donating blood because they were so afraid of AIDS. So I wanted to do a story that [[RippedFromTheHeadlines involved blood donorship and the whole story was structured that we would need blood donors]] from the ''Enterprise'' to show that the crewmembers were not afraid of donating blood. I even wanted us to put a card at the end of the episode saying you can donate blood, contact your local Red Cross...I go off to a ''Star Trek'' cruise and come back to find there has been a clusterfuck. Rick Berman writes that we can’t do this episode and how we are on at 4PM in some markets and mommies are going to write letters."''

->''"Here in the US, we are so schizoid and deeply opposed to government censorship that we insist on having unaccountable private parties to do it instead."''

->''"There’s a lot of people I love on Website/{{Twitter}}, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you [[TheFundamentalist you should be buried under a pile of rocks.]]"''
-->--'''Lena Dunham''', executive producer of ''{{Series/Girls}}'', on quitting Twitter

->''"Guess what, for all the fans who complain that the US {{Toku}} shows have no balls... well, it’s not that we don’t want to; there are standards and practices that we have to abide by for network television. So it’s just not legal to show these things in a kid show in the US and that’s not negotiable. Trust me, we tried and we did manage to push some stuff through, you’ll see, but [[HarmfulToMinors guns held at kids' heads]] and [[NeverSayDie people dying]]? No can do."''

->''"Tell you what: ''Kiss my ass!'' How do you like that?"''

->''"If you believe that I'm a cop killer, you believe Music/DavidBowie [[IAmNotSpock is an astronaut.]]"''

->''"In response to their protests, I will provide a show where I balance my songs with a wholesome Bible reading. This way, fans will not only hear my so-called, 'violent' point of view, but we can also examine the virtues of wonderful 'Christian' stories of disease, murder, adultery, suicide, and child sacrifice."''

->''"Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend?"''

->''"White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper ''says'' "guns"? [[HauledBeforeASenateSubCommittee Congressional hearing]]. "OHH MY GOD, that nigger said gun. And he rhymed it with '''FUN!'''""''

->''"The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable '''only''' to the President, decided all on its own that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. I'd like to repeat that because it sounds '''vaguely important'''. The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable '''only''' to the President, decided ''all on its own'' that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the free speech Amendment of the Constitution."''

->''"The majority of people are very reasonable I’ve found. But you know what, they don’t write letters when something offends them on TV, because reasonable people know '''''IT’S JUST FUCKIN’ TELEVISION!''''' Not only that, reasonable people have a life. They’re not sittin’ in some trailer with some fuckin’ crayon in their hand, some chicken scrawl goin’, ''"I saw a guy talk about Jesus on the tube! I ain’t gone tune in no more!"'' And also, reasonable people know ultimately they’re just fuckin’ ''jokes.'' [[FeelingOppressedByTheirExistence Are you so afraid of a guy tellin’ jokes?]]"''

->''"Guess what, for all the fans who complain that the US {{Toku}} shows have no balls... well, it’s not that we don’t want to; there are standards and practices that we have to abide by for network television. So it’s just not legal to show these things in a kid show in the US and that’s not negotiable. Trust me, we tried and we did manage to push some stuff through, you’ll see, but [[InfantImmortality guns held at kids' heads]] and [[NeverSayDie people dying]]? No can do."''

-->--'''Eddy''', ''EdEddNEddy'' ("Ed Overboard")

-->--'''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/a-mild-curiosity-in-a-junkyard-silence-in-the-librarythe-forest-of-the-dead/ Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''' on Mary Whitehouse

->''"Oh yes, much like the {{Chick Tract}}s warned us, ''D&D'' was my enticing entry point to a world of decadent sin and '''[[RevengeOfTheNerds NEEEEEEEERD]]'''ery... Which might make it more ironic that the first group to get me into the tumbling die was a group of Evangelical kids. Sure, they may have tweaked the rules so that [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic magic was actually just psionics]] (because apparently an omniscient ruler of the Universe with a hate-on for anything even hinting of the dark vile forces of magick is also apparently easily fooled by a simple search and replace… no no see, my fictional character is [[MagicAIsMagicA setting things on fire with their brain]], not random fictional magical powers, so we’re all good)."''

->''"You’ve got to love how much controversy surrounded this book at the time with the Doctor (Shudder! Gasp!) taking magic mushrooms to contact the Blue. I was 13 at the time this book was released and I have to say after reading it [[SarcasmMode I was a regular user and always high as a kite trying to contact mind controlling aliens]]. Christ! Give children some bloody respect! The Doctor has since murdered people (''The Burning'') and married and set up shop in a whorehouse (both in ''The Adventuress of Henrietta Street''), but nobody got in a tizzy about that."''

->''"Oh, the {{NFL}}, where [[JanetJackson flashing a harmless lady nipple]] is an unforgivable sin, but abusing dogs and women isn’t."''

->''"There’s a lot of people I love on {{Twitter}}, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you [[TheFundamentalist you should be buried under a pile of rocks.]]"''

->''"The Motion Picture Association of America is less than pleased about a new poster for directors RobertRodriguez and Creator/FrankMiller’s new ''Sin City'' film adaptation, ''A Dame to Kill For''. The poster depicts the title character, Ava Lord, played by actress Creator/EvaGreen, wearing a sheer gown that doesn’t really cover all that much. Specifially, the MPAA complained about the 'curve of under breast and dark nipple/areola circle visible through sheer gown.'\\

-->--'''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2015/02/a-mild-curiosity-in-junkyard-silence-in.html Dr. Phil Sandifer]]''' on Mary Whitehouse

->''"Texas Preacher Declares [=‘=]''VampireKnight''[=’=] Manga, Dried Roses To Be Satanic Works, Is Literally Villain From [=‘=]''{{Film/Footloose}}''[=’=]"''

->''"The group was instigated after Tipper observed her daughter listening to “Darling Nikki” by {{Music/Prince}} (lyrics about masturbation), and, in an inference process worthy of David Noebel, decided that rock & roll caused teen suicide, murder, Satanism, drug and alcohol use, and worse. Evidential base? [[ChewbaccaDefense Yeah, right.]]."''

->''"For the most part her complaints were transparently idiotic -- her objection to the cliffhanger in ''[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS14E3TheDeadlyAssassin}} The Deadly Assassin]]'' was that children would believe that [[InsaneTrollLogic the Doctor’s head was being held underwater for an entire week]], a suggestion that ascribes an almost comical level of televisual illiteracy onto children. But she was always good for [[YouCanPanicNow a few exuberant and tabloid-friendly quotes]] like her famously description of ''Doctor Who'' as ''“[[MurderSimulators teatime brutality for tots]],”'' and had enough supporters to be influential in spite of her obvious deficiencies of reason."''

->''"You’ve got to love how much controversy surrounded this book at the time with the Doctor (Shudder! Gasp!) taking magic mushrooms to contact the Blue. I was 13 at the time this book was released and I have to say after reading it I was a regular user and always high as a kite trying to contact mind controlling aliens. Christ! Give children some bloody respect! The Doctor has since murdered people (''The Burning'') and married and set up shop in a whorehouse (both in ''The Adventuress of Henrietta Street'') but nobody got in a tizzy about that."''

->''"Oh yes, much like the {{Chick Tract}}s warned us, ''D&D'' was my enticing entry point to a world of decadent sin and '''[[RevengeOfTheNerds NEEEEEEEERD]]'''ery...Which might make it more ironic that the first group to get me into the tumbling die was a group of Evangelical kids. Sure, they may have tweaked the rules so that [[SufficientlyAnalyzedMagic magic was actually just psionics]] (because apparently an omniscient ruler of the Universe with a hate-on for anything even hinting of the dark vile forces of magick is also apparently easily fooled by a simple search and replace… no no see, my fictional character is [[MagicAIsMagicA setting things on fire with their brain]], not random fictional magical powers, so we’re all good)."''

->''"Oh, and there’s a split-second shot of Bond kicking a military cop in the crotch. Note that he [[{{Badbutt}} wears a helmet on a bike]], lest any children imitate him, but he still kicks a cop in the crotch."''

->'''Cecil''' Earlier in the film Tristan has a miscarriage. As they wheel her into the hospital we see her pants are bloody in the crotch area. The studio wanted him to remove that for being too graphic. Here is the same group of producers who forced him to add in [[{{Gorn}} gratuitous scenes of violence]] that only detracted from the film, and yet they have one scene that is genuinely disturbing, and they wanted it ''removed''.\\
'''[[MemeticMutation Buzz Lightyear]]''': Hypocrites. Hypocrites everywhere.

->''"In response to their protests, I will provide a show where I balance my songs with a wholesome Bible reading. This way, fans will not only hear my so-called, 'violent' point of view, but we can also examine the virtues of wonderful 'Christian' stories of disease, murder, adultery, suicide and child sacrifice."''

->''"Yes, {{UsefulNotes/Australia}} continues its valiant efforts to rescue its beer-swilling, thong-wearing, spouse-beating population from moral degeneracy, and I, in turn, continue to fight the power with daring guerrilla tactics--like {{Steam}} codes. (Just call me "Play Guevara")...and you know damn well it wasn't for its innovative gameplay or its heart-warming love story about a combat boot trying in vain to reunite with a concrete pavement."''

->''"''"The top rope hurricanrana looks like a devastating finishing maneuver, but it doesn't hurt at all--if you ''know the trick to it''"'' just demean the formidable athletic talents of wrestlers, not to mention [[ViewersAreMorons the intelligence of the fans]]. And how many kids are going to be trying these potentially dangerous moves now that they ''"[[FridgeHorror know the trick to it]]?"'' Not until the very end of the show did NBC put a disclaimer telling you not to try the moves at home."''

->''"Yes, {{UsefulNotes/Australia}} continues its valiant efforts to rescue its beer-swilling, thong-wearing, spouse-beating population from moral degeneracy, and I, in turn, continue to fight the power with daring guerrilla tactics--like {{Steam}} codes. Just call me "Play Guevara"! Here comes my attempt to break the land speed record by going from zero to totally minge-squirtingly obvious in just eight words:'' "'''TRY'''-'''BANNY'''-'''GAME'''-'''MAKE'''-'''PEOPLE'''-'''WANTY'''-'''GAME'''-'''MORE'''".'' ''Hatred'' went [[RatedMForMoney straight to the top of the sales chart]] the day it came out and you know damn well it wasn't for its innovative gameplay or its heart-warming love story about a combat boot trying in vain to reunite with a concrete pavement."''

->''"White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper ''says'' "guns"? [[HauledBeforeASenateCommittee Congressional hearing]]. "OHH MY GOD, that nigger said gun. And he rhymed it with '''FUN!'''""''

->''"White man makes guns? [[ArmsDealer No problem]]. Black rapper ''says'' "guns"? [[SkewedPriorities Congressional hearing]]. "Oh, my God, that nigger said gun, and he rhymed it with '''fun'''"!"''

->'''Gregg:''' ''Owing to its Nike-driven marketing focus, Oregon has led college sports both toward dazzling flashy uniforms and helmets, and toward scantily attired cheerleaders. Is the latter a good idea?''\\
'''Drew:''' I dunno. Ask your boner. [[YouNeedToGetLaid It’s probably been in need of attention]] since 1982.\\
'''Gregg:''' ''They are after all professionals, and the dancing girl who shows lots of skin has a long history in entertainment, at least as far back as vaudeville.''\\
'''Drew:''' [[PoesLaw Is this a parody?]] Is this whole article written By Jon Lovitz in his [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Evelyn Quinn]] costume? WHY, BONERS GO BACK TO THE DAYS OF [[PopCultureIsolation SHECKY GREENE IN THE POCONOS!]]
-->--Drew Magary, [[http://deadspin.com/how-to-give-a-ball-bursting-football-speech-1677815240 "Gregg Easterbrook is a Haughty Dipshit"]]

->''"I am a father, and like many fathers I live in mortal fear of my children attacking me. There’s already [[WellDoneSonGuy an unspoken tension]] between us. I’m getting older and weaker, they’re getting bigger and stronger. I don’t need lunatics like Creator/DrSeuss exacerbating that tension with lines such as [='=]''[[FauxHorrific We like to hop. We like to hop on top of Pop.]]''[='=]"''

->''"You are disgusting, limp, soulless sacks of filth. You have earned the contempt and hatred of all decent human beings forever, and we will do all we can to smash the filthy phallic idol of sodomy you bow and serve and worship. Contempt, because you struck from behind, cravenly; and hatred, because you serve a cloud of morally-retarded mental smog called Political Correctness, which is another word for hating everything good and bright and decent and sane in life."''
-->--Novelist '''John C. Wright''' [[http://www.jimchines.com/2014/12/john-wright-legend-of-korra/ loses his shit]] over ''WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfKorra''

->''"I assume Wright’s blog post was written over the course of several days, as he would have needed time to swoon over the horrific perversion of women holding hands...Keep in mind, this is a show that not only had explicit male/female smooching, but has also shown a woman being suffocated to death via airbending, the imprisonment and torture of Korra, the suicide of a season one villain, and plenty of other instances of brutal violence. But this is what Wright feels he must “protect” the children from."''
-->--'''Jim C. Hines'''

->''"Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and [[MilesGloriosus attacked a hot fudge sundae.]]"''

->''"People had stopped donating blood because they were so afraid of AIDS. So I wanted to do a story that involved blood donorship and the whole story was structured that we would need blood donors from the ''Enterprise'' to show that the crewmembers were not afraid of donating blood. I even wanted us to put a card at the end of the episode saying [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle you can donate blood, contact your local Red Cross]]...I go off to a ''Star Trek'' cruise and come back to find there has been a clusterfuck. Rick Berman writes that we can’t do this episode and how we are on at 4PM in some markets and mommies are going to write letters."''

->''"People threaten my life and tell me what a cow I am....There’s a lot of people I love on {{Twitter}}, but unfortunately you can’t read those without reading deranged neocons telling you [[TheFundamentalist you should be buried under a pile of rocks.]]"''

->''"Guess what, for all the [[FanDumb fans]] who [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks complain]] that the US {{Toku}} shows have no balls... well, it’s not that we don’t want to; there are standards and practices that we have to abide by for network television. So it’s just not legal to show these things in a kid show in the US and that’s not negotiable. Trust me, we tried and [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar we did manage to push some stuff through]], you’ll see, but [[InfantImmortality guns held at kids' heads]] and [[NeverSayDie people dying]]? No can do."''

->''"Press conference yielded the usual crop of daftness. I've been asked if I related personally to {{Film/Carrington}}[='=]s tortured relationship with sex and replied that no, not really, I'd had a very pleasant time since I was fifteen. This elicited very disapproving copy from the Brits... No wonder people think [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland don't have sex in England.]]"''
-->-- '''Creator/EmmaThompson''', ''Bringing Jane Austen's Novel to Film ''

->''"The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable '''only''' to the President, decided all on its own that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. I'd like to repeat that because it sounds '''vaguely important'''. The FCC, an appointed body, not elected, answerable '''only''' to the President, decided ''all on its own'' that radio and TV were the only two parts of American media not protected by the free speech Amendment of the Constitution."''
-->--'''Creator/GeorgeCarlin'''

'''Gregg:''' ''Professional cheerleaders ought to exude sex appeal. They are after all professionals, and the dancing girl who shows lots of skin has a long history in entertainment, at least as far back as vaudeville.''\\
'''Drew:''' [[PoesLaw Is this a parody?]] Is this whole article written By Jon Lovitz in his [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Evelyn Quinn]] costume? WHY, BONERS GO BACK TO THE DAYS OF [[PopCultureIsolation SHECKY GREENE IN THE POCONOS!]]\\
'''Gregg:''' ''They're adults legally, and sociologically more like grown-ups than kids.''\\
'''Drew:''' Are you saying [[Music/BritneySpears they’re not a girl, not yet a wommmannnnn?!]] That’s the kind of quality analysis that [[KnowNothingKnowItAll gets you a Brookings fellowship.]]

->''"Yes, {{UsefulNotes/Australia}} continues its valiant efforts to rescue its beer-swilling, thong-wearing, spouse-beating population from moral degeneracy, and I, in turn, continue to fight the power with daring guerrilla tactics--like {{Steam}} codes. Just call me "Play Guevara"! Here comes my attempt to break the land speed record by going from zero to totally minge-squirtingly obvious in just eight words: "'''TRY'''-'''BANNY'''-'''GAME'''-'''MAKE'''-'''PEOPLE'''-'''WANTY'''-'''GAME'''-'''MORE'''". ''Hatred'' went [[RatedMForMoney straight to the top of the sales chart]] the day it came out and you know damn well it wasn't for its innovative gameplay or its heart-warming love story about a combat boot trying in vain to reunite with a concrete pavement."''

-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock'''

->''"When living Series/CrankYankers puppet Music/NickiMinaj released the video for her song 'Only' last Friday, a video that looks sort of like ''[[Theatre/TheProducers Springtime for Hitler]]'' crossed with ''HomestarRunner'', she probably didn’t anticipate that it would cause any where near as many pearls to be clutched than her ''WesternAnimation/GeorgeOfTheJungle'' late-night phone sex ad video for 'Anaconda' did. After all, 'Only' doesn’t feature a single butt! Okay fine, there was one ass (Music/ChrisBrown)."''