History Quotes / MediaScaremongering

->There have been periodic episodes of this sort right through the [[TheEighties 1980s]]. There's been repeated, huge propaganda efforts establishing some awesome chimera about to destroy us, and then we're miraculously rescued at the last minute. International terrorists, we bomb Lybia and we're saved; narco-traffickers, you smash up Panama and we're saved; even [[EspeciallyZoidberg Grenada]], y'know, a hundred thousand people were set up as a major threat to our existence.

-->-- '''''VideoGame/WeBecomeWhatWeBehold'''''

->"I JUST WATCHED A CABLE NEWS CHANNEL! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!"
-->--'''Caboose''', ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' Fire Safety PSA

[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
->It is my professional opinion that now is the time to '''''PANIC!'''''
-->-- '''Child expert''', ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc.''

[[/folder]]

->''"Are you saying that [[NiceJobBreakingItHero I put an abnormal brain into a 7 1/2 foot long.. 54 inch wide.. GORILLA?]] [[PunctuatedPounding IS - THAT - WHAT - YOU'RE - TELLING - ME!?]]"''
-->-- Film/YoungFrankenstein

->''"Ladies and gents, if you're not panicking... now'd be a good time to start!"''
-->-- '''Biff''', ''VideoGame/{{ARMS}}''

->When you apply for a job as an airport screener, you are shown a jar containing three jelly beans and asked to guess how many are inside. If you guess correctly, you are placed in a holding cell and [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique tortured until you give up the bomb's location]] (nice try, Muhammad)... If you throw the jar of jelly beans into a wall safe and [[OverreactingAirportSecurity scream for everyone to clear the airport]], you are immediately hired.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-great-occupations-for-horribly-stupid-people/ "7 Great Occupations For Horribly Stupid People"]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]

->''"Attention zoo patrons! Clamu the Giant Oyster is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. ''[Attendees begin screaming and running in circles]'' Thanks for coming."''
-->-- '''Announcer on P.A.''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants,'' "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E12PressureTheSmokingPeanut The Smoking Peanut]]"

->''"Attention, Bikini Bottom! There's a flying monster that's going to eat you!"''
-->-- '''Patrick''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants,'' "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E5WormyPattyHype Wormy]]"

->'''Squidward''': Attention, everyone! Run for your lives! Robots have taken over the world!\\
''[[{{Beat}} (Everyone just sits there.)]]''\\
'''Squidward:''' ''OUR'' WORLD!!\\
''(Everyone panics.)''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS3E9KrabBorgRockAByeBivalve Krab-Borg]]"

->'''Kent Brockman:''' Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely ''what'' the danger ''is'', would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?\\
'''Professor:''' ''(soberly)'' Mmm, yes I would, Kent.
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->'''Hermes''': Professor, sprinkle us with wisdom from your mighty brain. How scared should we be?\\
'''Professor''': Somewhere between not at all and entirely.\\
'''Zoidberg''': I call entirely!
-->-- ''{{WesternAnimation/Futurama}}'', "The Beast With a Billion Backs"

[[/folder]]

->When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
-->-- '''uncertain origin, possibly the US Naval Academy.'''

-->-- '''Announcer on P.A.''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants,'' "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E32PressureTheSmokingPeanut The Smoking Peanut]]"

->''"Media, news or otherwise, [[BlackAndWhiteInsanity will always try to paint our reality as black and white as possible,]] [[LowestCommonDenominator to be easier to digest to a mass audience]]. Reality is [[GrayAndGreyMorality nuanced]], and nuance is hard to stomach. Situations like these are never black and white. And that can make people feel unsure of themselves and uncomfortable. People would rather believe ''Franchise/LawAndOrder'' when it says that every legal defense we have is letting thousands of criminals go free than hear of [[AMillionIsAStatistic the millions who've been prevented from being falsely imprisoned because of it]]."''

->'''Kent Brockman:''' Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?\\

''[[{{Beat (Everyone just sits there.)]]''\\

''(Everyone just sits there.)''\\
'''Squidward:''' OUR WORLD!!\\

->Very few SCIENTISTS BELIEVE AIDS MAY or may not HAVE MUTATED INTO AN AIRBORNE VIRUS!!! [=HOLDing=] YOUR BREATH is not necessary!

->Because soy contains "feminizing" estrogen compounds and hence when you feed soy products to your little girl she will menstruate by age 7 and if you feed it to your little boy his testicles might not fully develop until he enters college and if you feed soy milk to your baby (Heathen! Sinner!) your tot will, according to Jimbo, receive the equivalent of ''five birth control pills per day'' (italics his) and doing so could actually kill your baby, oh my God, [[ThinkOfTheCHILDREN who will save the children from the gay (plant) agenda!]]

->...the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and [[ARealManIsAKiller denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger]]. It works the same way in any country.

[[folder:Film -- Live-action]]

->It is my professional opinion that now is the time to '''''PANIC!'''''
-->-- '''Child expert''', ''WesternAnimation/MonstersInc.''

->Has it ever occurred to you how astonishing the culture of Western society really is? Industrialized nations provide their citizens with unprecedented safety, health, and comfort. Average life spans increased fifty percent in the last century. Yet modern people live in abject fear. They are afraid of strangers, of disease, of crime, of the environment. They are afraid of the homes they live in, the food they eat, the technology that surrounds them. They are in a particular panic over things they can't even see--germs, chemicals, additives, pollutants. They are timid, nervous, fretful, and depressed.

->The Future of America -- Threatened Again! And this time we mean it.

->When you apply for a job as an airport screener, you are shown a jar containing three jelly beans and asked to guess how many are inside. If you guess correctly, you are placed in a holding cell and [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique tortured until you give up the bomb's location]] (nice try, Muhammad)... If you throw the jar of jelly beans into a wall safe and scream for everyone to clear the airport, you are immediately hired.

->I think that some of my fascination with the news comes from a basic fearfulness, a neurotic belief that the world is a threatening place, but that if I know enough about what is going on, I will be able to [[CrazySurvivalist avoid the most horrific of disasters.]]

->''"Media, news or otherwise, [[BlackAndWhiteInsanity will always try to paint our reality as black and white as possible, to be easier to digest to a mass audience]]. Reality is nuanced, and nuance is hard to stomach. Situations like these are never black and white. And that can make people feel unsure of themselves and uncomfortable. People would rather believe ''Franchise/LawAndOrder'' when it says that every legal defense we have is letting thousands of criminals go free than hear of [[AMillionIsAStatistic the millions who've been prevented from being falsely imprisoned because of it]]."''

->We bang on about Islam. Why? Because to the ordinary public out there it's the thing they can understand. It's the thing the newspaper editors sell newspapers with.

->''"Are you saying that [[NiceJobBreakingItHero I put an abnormal brain into a 7 1/2 foot long.. 54 inch wide.. GORILLA?]] IS - THAT - WHAT - YOU'RE - TELLING - ME!?"''

->Through their individual media empires (which cover the media of print, radio, TV, the Internet, and penis-powering vitality serum), [[Radio/AlexJones (Alex) Jones]] and (Glenn) Beck alone rake in up to $10 million and $45 million a year, respectively. Hell, they should be ''thanking'' the Illuminati for that kind of revenue stream.

->'''KRYTEN:''' There is no need to engage your panic chip, sir. The machine can only operate on organic life. I am mineral, and therefore immune.\\
'''COMPUTER:''' New genetic structure accepted. Metamorphosis in ten seconds and counting.\\
'''KRYTEN:''' Oh. Wait a minute. No. My brain is part organic and therefore it is ''entirely'' possible for the machine to transmogrify my physical condition. Engage panic circuits. Panic circuits engaged. Bwa-ha!
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf,'' "DNA"

->''"Are you saying that [[NiceJobBreakingItHero I put an abnormal brain into a 7 1/2 foot long, 54 inch wide GORILLA?]] IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!?"''

->Honestly, what brings more anxiety and 'terror' to your day to day life? A few thousand Americans murdered by scum bag extremists? Or the people that remind you that you could be next, every day of your life...that civilization is about to end because [[FauxHorrific 2 men want to get married?]] Or because some lame school [[MoralGuardians stopped singing christmas songs.]] Who cares? Apparently BillOReilly does.

[[folder:Comic books]]

-->-- YoungFrankenstein

[[folder:literature]]

[[folder:live-action tv]]

[[folder:newspaper comics]]

[[folder:video games]]

[[folder:web original]]

[[folder:western animation]]

->''"Are you saying that [[NiceJobBreakingItHero I put an abnormal brain into a 7 foot long, 54 inch wide GORILLA?]] IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!?"''

->''"Are you saying that [[NiceJobBreakingItHero I put an abnormal brain in a 7 foot long, 54 inch wide GORILLA?]] IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!?"''