History Quotes / HollywoodHomely

->She’s supposed to be a frumpy nerd. But since Creator/HalleBerry is the exact opposite of that, they’ll just bury her in plus-size clothes and make her super clumsy.
-->-- '''''[[WebVideo/HonestTrailers Honest Trailer]]''''' for ''Film/{{Catwoman}}''

[[folder:film--live-action]]

[[folder:music]]

[[folder:newspapers]]

[[folder:video games]]

[[folder:web original]]

->[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2 Leblanc]] is shrill, supercilious and vain... Even her henchmen have a hard time tolerating her, and can be heard making cracks about her age behind her back. Judging by the look of things, the old hag might even be a hoary'' [[ChristmasCake twenty-five]]'' years old. (As you know, the twilight of a woman's prime is somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two.)

[[folder:web video]]

[[folder:real life]]

-->--'''The Moldy Peaches''', "[[{{Juno}} Anyone Else But You]]".

'''Raphael:''' ''You'' take the ugly one!''\\

-->--''Film/NotAnotherTeenMovie''

-->--''Film/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles II: The Secret of the Ooze''

->It's been pointed out before that the ''Daily Mail''[='=]s repeated leching over teenage girls can be handily collated by popping the phrase '[[DirtyOldMan all grown up]]' into their search bar, but scientists had yet to crack the code that simultaneously latches on to the two main agendas they push with their stories about females, namely –\\\
#1: The sexualising of underage girls.\\\
#2: Helpfully exposing [[ChristmasCake all women over 25]] as the disgusting, ashen hags they are.
-->--'''[[http://franticplanet.wordpress.com/2013/05/30/the-daily-mail-formula/ Stuart Millard]]'''

->In 2004, Creator/KeiraKnightley became the anti-[[Creator/MariahCarey Mimi]] when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her [[BuxomIsBetter small titty situation]] on the poster for ''Film/KingArthur''. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting...That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Kartrashians]], {{Music/Beyonce}}, [[{{Music/Madonna}} Madge]] and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, 'SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,' at once.
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/11/07/keira-knightley-brings-her-anti-photoshop-nipples-out-for-interview-magazine/ DListed]]'''''

->You know, I saw this Chloe scene, and I was thinking about that big old string of shower scenes we had last season. You remember them? The most blatant was the one where Lana, in a pink/red backdrop, lather's up, luxuriates, reveals just enough body not to get one of those parental discretion warnings... Now compare that to how Chloe's bath is treated. Even though she's lighting candles and trying to relax, the lighting is dull, flat, and very little of Chloe showering is actually shown. It takes place in the dark. [[FridgeLogic Any of you shower in the dark?]]\\\
This has to be purposeful...which leads me to wonder, why isn't Chloe treated like as much of a hot chick as Lana?\\\
Insert commentary that I don't want to get into about the smart chick over the pink froofy beautiful chick. Just of note.\\\
One could argue that they learned their lesson about how rampant and arbitrary titillation doesn't serve any real story purpose. Uh, yeah. That's it. Tell it to [[TheBaroness Ms Leather pants of Vengeance]] last week, and ring up the return, 'cause I ain't buying it.
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' on ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Tomb")

->Laugh if you will, but I’m not. ODB was by far the most interesting woman in wrestling prior to her [[TakeThisJobAndShoveIt telling Dixie to take a hike.]] Was she the sexiest? No. Was she the best worker? No. But was she the most entertaining? Absolutely. And why was that? Because she was different, unique, and was completely believable as her character. When I watched ODB, I didn’t think it was someone pretending to be something she wasn’t. I truly believed her character and what it was. Compare that to say, Wrestling/MichelleMcCool. I don’t know what her motives are ; no clue as to who she is supposed to be...When ODB hit the screen, I knew what I was getting, and it was entertaining. It was different. She wasn’t every other bikini model skank, she was a white trash, trailer park skank. That’s a big difference! I couldn’t wait to see her swig from her flask as she waited to get into a fist fight with the other ‘broads’ (her words, not mine) in {{Wrestling/TNA}}.

[[folder:fiction]]
->We sure are cute for two ugly people.
-->--'''The Moldy Peaches''', "[[{{Juno}} Anyone Else But You]]".

->Even the compulsory ugly one is, should you ever meet him in the flesh, actually the handsomest person you would ever see in your life. The same way American movies always cast a stunningly beautiful girl to play an ugly girl, and then give her one eyebrow, fluffy hair and glasses.
-->-- ''Addition''

->'''Jiwoo:''' If [the main character] was ugly, it would have ended after 5 minutes of being aired.\\
'''Heejung:''' ''...true. Usually the main female character isn't ugly. The film might describe the woman as being plain-looking, but they actually use a really pretty actress.''
-->--''VideoGame/{{Dandelion}}''

->'''Tacoma''': Oh, um, Creator/CameronDiaz in Film/BeingJohnMalkovich, they didn't make her look hot in there.\\
'''Rebecca''': Oh yeah! Let's take the hot chick and make her look frumpy. Brilliant! She can get any role she wants, do you know how many normal, ugly people would kill for that role? But no, let's hand it to the cute one and praise her for being edgy.
-->--''WebVideo/DemoReel''

[[folder:reviews]]

->[[Creator/Scarlett Johansson ScarJo]] says she has an 'okay' body. I see what you’re doing, [=ScarJo=]! She probably said that, because if she would’ve said, ''[='=]My body is spectacular and my magnificent chichis can cure impotence'',' everyone would’ve called her a conceited bitch.

->''"We sure are cute for two ugly people."''

-->--'''''Film/NotAnotherTeenMovie'''''

->'''Leonardo:''' ''Take the ugly one!''\\
'''Raphael:''' ''You take the ugly one!''\\
'''Donatello:''' ''I'll take the ugly one!''\\
'''Michaelangelo:''' ''Which one's the ugly one?''

->''"Even the compulsory ugly one is, should you ever meet him in the flesh, actually the handsomest person you would ever see in your life. The same way American movies always cast a stunningly beautiful girl to play an ugly girl, and then give her one eyebrow, fluffy hair and glasses."''

->'''Jiwoo:''' If [the main character] was ugly, it would have ended after 5 minutes of being aired.
->'''Heejung:''' ''...true. Usually the main female character isn't ugly. The film might describe the woman as being plain-looking, but they actually use a really pretty actress.''

->'''Tacoma''': ''Oh, um, Creator/CameronDiaz in Film/BeingJohnMalkovich, they didn't make her look hot in there.''
->'''Rebecca''': ''Oh yeah! Let's take the hot chick and make her look frumpy. Brilliant! She can get any role she wants, do you know how many normal, ugly people would kill for that role? But no, let's hand it to the cute one and praise her for being edgy.''

[[folder:on works]]
->''"Five minutes into the film, I relaxed, knowing it was set in the real world, and not in the Hollywood alternative universe where Creator/JuliaRoberts [[HollywoodDateless can't get a date]]."''

->''"[[Creator/Scarlett Johansson ScarJo]] says she has an 'okay' body. I see what you’re doing, [=ScarJo=]! She probably said that, because if she would’ve said, ''[='=]My body is spectacular and my magnicificent chichis can cure impotence'',' everyone would’ve called her a conceited bitch"''

->''"We move instead to the hangar to meet Jet Girl, played by Naomi Watts, who we know is not sexy because she’s wearing glasses and has brown hair."''

->''"Creator/NicoleKidman wasn’t considered sexy enough by the studio. Before you snicker, bear in mind this is the same studio that at the time was planning a ''Superman'' movie with Creator/NicolasCage in the lead."''

->''"It's been pointed out before that the ''Daily Mail''[='=]s repeated leching over teenage girls can be handily collated by popping the phrase '[[DirtyOldMan all grown up]]' into their search bar, but scientists had yet to crack the code that simultaneously latches on to the two main agendas they push with their stories about females, namely –\\\

#2: Helpfully exposing [[ChristmasCake all women over 25]] as the disgusting, ashen hags they are."''

->''"In 2004, Creator/KeiraKnightley became the anti-Mimi ''[Faust]'' when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her [[BuxomIsBetter small titty situation]] on the poster for ''Film/KingArthur''. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting...That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Kartrashians]], {{Music/Beyonce}}, [[{{Music/Madonna}} Madge]] and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, 'SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,' at once."''

->''"You know, I saw this Chloe scene, and I was thinking about that big old string of shower scenes we had last season. You remember them? The most blatant was the one where Lana, in a pink/red backdrop, lather's up, luxuriates, reveals just enough body not to get one of those parental discretion warnings... Now compare that to how Chloe's bath is treated. Even though she's lighting candles and trying to relax, the lighting is dull, flat, and very little of Chloe showering is actually shown. It takes place in the dark. [[FridgeLogic Any of you shower in the dark?]]\\\

One could argue that they learned their lesson about how rampant and arbitrary titillation doesn't serve any real story purpose. Uh, yeah. That's it. Tell it to [[TheBaroness Ms Leather pants of Vengeance]] last week, and ring up the return, 'cause I ain't buying it."''

->''"[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2 Leblanc]] is shrill, supercilious and vain... Even her henchmen have a hard time tolerating her, and can be heard making cracks about her age behind her back. Judging by the look of things, the old hag might even be a hoary'' [[ChristmasCake twenty-five]]'' years old. (As you know, the twilight of a woman's prime is somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two.)"''

->''"Five minutes into the film, I relaxed, knowing it was set in the real world, and not in the Hollywood alternative universe where JuliaRoberts [[HollywoodDateless can't get a date]]."''

->''"In 2004, Creator/KeiraKnightley became the anti-Mimi ''[Faust]'' when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her [[BuxomIsBetter small titty situation]] on the poster for ''Film/KingArthur''. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting and this time she’s enlisted her nipples to join the fight...That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians Kartrashians]], {{Music/Beyonce}}, [[{{Music/Madonna}} Madge]] and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, 'SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,' at once."''

->'''Chris:''' “Olsen, this photo’s fuzzy!” “No, that’s… actually just her face.”\\
'''Matt''': One of many jokes at poor Vera’s expense.\\
'''Chris''': For real. This movie has a pretty hard-line stance on the {{male gaze}}. If you’re not Pamela Stephens or Annette O’Toole, you are basically a monster in Richard Lester’s eyes.
-->--[[http://comicsalliance.com/comicsalliance-reviews-superman-iii-1983-part-one/ on]] ''Film/SupermanIII''

->''"[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2 Leblanc]] is shrill, supercilious and vain... Even her henchmen have a hard time tolerating her, and can be heard making cracks about her age behind her back. Judging by the look of things, the old hag might even be a hoary'' twenty-five'' years old. (As you know, the twilight of a woman's prime is somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two.)"''

->''"[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX2 Leblanc]] is shrill, supercilious and vain... Even her henchmen have a hard time tolerating her, and can be heard making cracks about her age behind her back. Judging by the look of things, the old hag might even be a hoary'' twenty-five'' years old. (As you know, the twilight of a woman's prime is somewhere between the ages of seventeen and twenty-two.)"''
-->--'''Pat R.''', [[http://socksmakepeoplesexy.net/index.php?a=ffx2 "So It's Come to This"]]

->''"Even the compulsory ugly one is, should you ever meet him in the flesh, actually the handsomest person you would ever see in your life. The same way American movies always cast a stunningly beautiful girl to play an ugly girl, and then give her one eyebrow, fluffy hair and glasses."''
-->-- ''Addition''

->''"Creator/NicoleKidman wasn’t considered sexy enough by the studio. Before you snicker, bear in mind this is the same studio that at the time was planning a ''Superman'' movie with Creator/NicolasCage in the lead."''
-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''', ''Film/BatmanForever'' Recap Supplement

->''"Five minutes into the film, I relaxed, knowing it was set in the real world, and not in the Hollywood alternative universe where JuliaRoberts [[HollywoodDateless can't get a date]]."''
-->-- '''Creator/RogerEbert''', on ''Film/MyBigFatGreekWedding''.

->''"Even the compulsory ugly one is, should you ever meet him in the flesh, actually the handsomest person you would ever see in your life. The same way American movies always cast a stunningly beautiful girl to play an ugly girl, and then give her one eyebrow, fluffy hair and glasses."''
-->-- ''Addition''

->'''Jiwoo:''' If [the main character] was ugly, it would have ended after 5 minutes of being aired.
->'''Heejung:''' ''...true. Usually the main female character isn't ugly. The film might describe the woman as being plain-looking, but they actually use a really pretty actress.''
-->--''VideoGame/{{Dandelion}}''

->''"A doctor walks down a corridor. She's a lady doctor, and pretty obviously hotter than any doctor you've ever had in your life. But, look at her! She's got big glasses! And her hair is in a tightly braided ponytail! She can't be hot!"''
-->--'''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''s [[http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Road_House_1989.aspx recap]] of ''Film/RoadHouse''.