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Changed line(s) 3223 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' Thank you all ever so much for coming, we hope you enjoyed- you enjoyed your day, [[BreakingTheFourthWall and we hope you'll enjoy watching yourselves on television]]. ''(turns to look at Paul);; Well, you will, 'cause you won. Everybody else is being edited out.\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' Thank you all ever so much for coming, we hope you enjoyed- you enjoyed your day, [[BreakingTheFourthWall and we hope you'll enjoy watching yourselves on television]]. ''(turns to look at Paul);; Paul)'' Well, you will, 'cause you won. Everybody else is being edited out.\\
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Changed line(s) 3094 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' ''(inaudible muttering)'' Prepared from twenty ''(unintelligible)'''...\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' ''(inaudible muttering)'' Prepared from twenty ''(unintelligible)'''...''(unintelligible)''...\\
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Changed line(s) 2315 (click to see context) from:
''[Clarkson opens henhouse]''
to:
''[Clarkson opens henhouse]''henhouse]''\\
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Changed line(s) 2206,2207 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' It's 'cause you never experienced ''[[Series/TopGearUK boating in the Mediterranean]] or eating an agreeable pasta on the streets of ''(unintelligible)''...
to:
'''Clarkson:''' It's 'cause you never experienced ''[[Series/TopGearUK [[Series/TopGearUK boating in the Mediterranean]] or eating an agreeable pasta on the streets of ''(unintelligible)''...
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Changed line(s) 2185 (click to see context) from:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Even though we'd rounded up all the cows it was just the two young heifers that DIlwyn would be... artificially inseminating. And today was just part one of the procedure.\\
to:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Even though we'd rounded up all the cows it was just the two young heifers that DIlwyn Dilwyn would be... artificially inseminating. And today was just part one of the procedure.\\
Added DiffLines:
-->''[Clarkson moans]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Bribery. We've tried the stick, now we're using the carrot.\\
''[Dilwyn shakes a bucket of carrots]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Backing up, backing up. Yep, it's now fully reversed back where it came from.\\
'''Kaleb:''' They don't like the crush.\\
'''Clarkson:''' What about [[BribingYourWayToVictory money]]?\\
'''Kaleb:''' What?\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, I don't know! I mean, I'm dr- I'm SO cold and wet. And unhappy. I can't...\\
''[cow makes a noise]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' My cows are as disobedient as my sheep, it's pouring with rain, my shoes are covered in excrement.\\
'''Kaleb:''' I don't know why I find this funny! ''(laughs)''\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's 'cause you never experienced ''[[Series/TopGearUK boating in the Mediterranean]] or eating an agreeable pasta on the streets of ''(unintelligible)''...
-->''[Dilwyn gets ready]''\\
''[Kaleb observes Dilwyn putting on gloves]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' That sounds like a balloon, and I'm terrified of balloons.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Terrified.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Massive fear. You have no idea. Wouldn't- wouldn't go into a room if there was a balloon there.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Really?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah.\\
''[Dilwyn chuckles]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Shit scared. Like... don't tell anyone that.
-->''[Dilwyn checks Deeny]''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' I'll see if she's all there.\\
'''Clarkson:''' This is like a prostate but on an industrial level, innit?\\
''[Dilwyn performs the check]''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Alright...\\
'''Clarkson:''' Holy mother...
-->''[Dilwyn finishes the check]''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' She's fine!\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh she's got all the bits?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Yeah she has.\\
''[Dilwyn removes his hand]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' What the hell is that?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' That's the shit.\\
'''Clarkson:''' I thought you went in its vagina?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' I did it rectally. So basically I go in rectally-\\
'''Clarkson:''' ''(unintelligible)''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' And I can feel the uterus from the outside.\\
'''Clarkson:''' So you've got to go up the back door?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Yes.
-->''[the impregnation begins]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Well, here we go, the triangle of procreation is on its way.\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Uh, yeah. I would've thought so.\\
''[Dilwyn inserts the device into Deeny as she thrashes about]''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Whoa, whoa...\\
''[the device is inserted]''\\
'''Dilwyn:''' There you go! Go on.
-->''[Clarkson does other things]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' As we now had to wait a week until the artificial insemination could happen...\\
''[Kaleb and his brother Kieron fix the fence]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Ready?\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Kaleb and his brother Kieron set about repairing the cow fence properly... whilst I decided to catch up on some maintenance jobs.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Right, now then. Up, up and away...\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Starting with the unruly hedge opposite Gerald's house.
-->''[Clarkson tries his hand at hedge clipping]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Hedge clipping!\\
''[Gerald observes in the distance]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Yes. Lovely, lovely.\\
''[Clarkson passes Gerald]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' All right, Gerald. ''(waves)'' The G-Dog is going to be dead chuffed as I've been out and sorted his hedge out for him.\\
'''Gerald:''' Jesus fucking Christ... oh, Jeremy! Christ now turn that machine off or else it's gon' take that hedge out for God sake! That wasn't the hedge that ''(unintelligible)''!
-->''[Kaleb is perplexed]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Fuckin' 'ell!\\
''[Gerald laughs]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' What the fuck is he doing?! Look at that, he's missed all the brambles! I told him to start from the bottom and then work up!\\
'''Gerald:''' That's like puttin' a t-shirt on 'yer back to make some bloody holes ''(unintelligible)''! If you was a pigeon ''(unintelligible)''!\\
''[Gerald scoffs]''
-->''[Clarkson gets railed]''\\
''[Kaleb passed Gerald a walkie-talkie]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Here you are, mate! Tell him off!\\
''[Clarkson stops by Gerald]''\\
'''Gerald:''' I said ''(unintelligible)''!\\
''[Kaleb laughs in the background]''\\
'''Gerald:''' ''(unintelligible)''!\\
'''Clarkson:''' You're not happy, then?\\
''[Gerald shakes his head in exasperation]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Right, well that's me sacked then!\\
''[Clarkson drives off]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' I honestly didn't think I was doing that bad a job.
-->''[Clarkson laughs at a photo]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' I know some of you, err, will have been concerned the other day when Dilwyn the vet put his entire arm inside, um... inside the heifers, but really, there's no need to worry because ''(giggles)'' the next morning, I got a photograph, not a very good one, but a photograph nevertheless of Deeny the heifer who was... touched. And, uh... ''(laughs)'' so the photograph there, look. She just walked into the crush all by herself. ''(laughs)'' Just... "Where's that Welshman with the glove? Where is he? If you stand here, it's quite nice." Anyway, we've gotta make them pregnant now. Come on cows, it's time to be made pregnant! Well, two of you.
-->''[Clarkson makes comments]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Have you seen the amount of sex that's going on? It's like being at a sixth form party, this is!\\
''[Clarkson sees an unruly cow]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh shit, did you see that?! They're being driven mad by lust!
-->''[Charlie, Dilwyn and Tim arrive]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' As we finished getting them into the pen...\\
'''Clarkson:''' Ah!\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Charlie, Dilwyn and Tim the cowman arrived with the [[UnusualEuphemism gentleman juice]].\\
'''Clarkson:''' Is that seriously all sperm?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' No.\\
'''Tim:''' No, there's liquid nitrogen in there as well.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, so for keeping it cool.\\
'''Charlie:''' For keeping it cool.
-->''[Clarkson asks an important question]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Is it 10 cc?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' It's less than that, it's about a mil.\\
'''Lisa:''' No, it's the average amount a man ejaculates.\\
'''Clarkson:''' That's why...\\
'''Lisa:''' That's why the band was called 10 cc. Did nobody know that?\\
'''Charlie:''' No.
-->''[impregnation process complete]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' So, my beef supply was now up and running...\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Two heifers potentially pregnant!\\
'''Charlie:''' Thank you very much!\\
''[rooster crows]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' ...the eggs were coming thick and fast...\\
''[Clarkson opens henhouse]''
'''Clarkson:''' It's a good haul this morning.\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' ...and the chili chutney was in production. So things were looking good for my new low-miles, eco-friendly restaurant. All I had to do now... was win over the locals.
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Added DiffLines:
-->''[Clarkson has an epiphany]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' With the pen assembles we went off to round up the cows.\\
''[Clarkson and Kaleb walk towards the cow fields]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Dunno how I feel about you walking with a stick.\\
'''Clarkson:''' I like it. It makes me look like a- I'm starting to feel farm-ish. You know, I'm starting to understand little things about the countryside now.\\
'''Kaleb:''' That's the problem though, you only understand little things.
-->''[the cows are found]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Aha. I found them. I love this. They don't look surprised or frightened or intimidated in any way when you approach; they just stare. Look at Pepper, over on the left there. They're just, uh- they're like six-year-old kids when you walk into a classroom. You know a six-year-old kid, and a grown-up walks in...\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah, yeah.\\
'''Clarkson:''' They're not frightened!\\
''[Kaleb makes a face]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' They're exactly there. That's- there. That's Kaleb's cow impression.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Ready? ''(makes a face)''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Here we go...
-->''[Dilwyn arrives]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Ah, Dilwyn!\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Yeah!\\
'''Clarkson:''' They actually want to go in the crush! Look at that!\\
'''Kaleb:''' Oh my God!\\
'''Clarkson:''' That is easy! We never managed this with the sheep, did we?
-->''[the process]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Even though we'd rounded up all the cows it was just the two young heifers that DIlwyn would be... artificially inseminating. And today was just part one of the procedure.\\
'''Clarkson:''' So it's just Deeny and Pepper that you need?\\
'''Dilwyn:''' Yeah, yeah, I'm bringing them on heat, basically. I'm gonna put a progesterone-releasing intra-vaginal device into the vagina, and then when we take it out, that'll bring them on heat and then you can serve them with AI after that.\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Dilwyn said the easiest way of tackling the job was to run all the cows through the Max Mosley machine... until we got to the heifers.\\
''[Clarkson and Kaleb attempt to prod the cows]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Go on, in you go.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Go on, give it one.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Go on. Come on.\\
'''Kaleb:''' It's like working with [[Characters/TheLordOfTheRings Gandalf]].
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Added DiffLines:
-->''[Clarkson buys a livestock crush]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' It was now time to ensure a steady supply of beef for the restaurant, which meant getting the cows that weren't pregnant... pregnant. And since this would mean inserting things in them, Kaleb said I'd need to invest in a contraption called... a "crush".\\
'''Clarkson:''' So the cow goes in-\\
'''Kaleb:''' This side.\\
'''Clarkson:''' -goes in there.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah, walks through.\\
'''Clarkson:''' And then its head come- come- where's its head go? Oh it's in there.\\
'''Kaleb:''' There, look. That comes out, actually.
-->''[Kaleb demonstrates the livestock crush]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' That bar there, yeah?\\
'''Clarkson:''' Yeah.\\
'''Kaleb:''' That goes in here to jam their arse up.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Holy shit... [[UsefulNotes/FormulaOne Max Mosley]] would have paid a fortune to have a go in this!\\
'''Kaleb:''' And then that comes in like that and jams their head in.\\
'''Clarkson:''' [[BigWhat WHAT?!]] How much does this weigh- is it very heavy?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Oh ''(unintelligible)'' you need the loader. I mean, here's the thing, like, if I'm gonna set this up it's gonna take me half an hour...\\
'''Clarkson:''' Yeah?\\
'''Clarkson:''' [[HoistByHisOwnPetard And then if you're gonna help it's gonna take us an hour.]]
-->''[they set up the crush]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Once I'd got the crush into position, we had to build the pen that attaches to it.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Ready?\\
''[Clarkson gets hurt by the fence]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Fuck! ''(hisses)'' Ow, fucking hell!\\
'''Kaleb:''' Such a wimp!\\
'''Clarkson:''' What do you mean- ''(unintelligible)'' I'm carryin' on with my work!
-->''[the livestock crush's price]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' This is quite cool, you've actually got a good one here.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Good!\\
'''Kaleb:''' How much did it cost?\\
'''Clarkson:''' £10,000 this was.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Fuckin' hell!\\
'''Clarkson:''' I know, I know.
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Changed line(s) 2067,2068 (click to see context) from:
''(Clarkson snores)''
to:
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Changed line(s) 2051 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' ''(unintelligible}''\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' ''(unintelligible}''\\''(unintelligible)''\\
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Changed line(s) 2043,2044 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' Dream on! Every bit of concrete in the country is currently being used by HS2. They're building a railway that goes from London to Liverpool or Manchester or something, about 12 minutes faster, it's costing billions of pounds and it's using every bit of concrete in Britain. I mean, who needs a railway?!
to:
'''Clarkson:''' Dream on! Every bit of concrete in the country is currently being used by HS2.[=HS2=]. They're building a railway that goes from London to Liverpool or Manchester or something, about 12 minutes faster, it's costing billions of pounds and it's using every bit of concrete in Britain. I mean, who needs a railway?!
Changed line(s) 2062 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' I once went up in one of these-\\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' I once went up in one of these-\\\these-\\
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Changed line(s) 2045 (click to see context) from:
-->''[a minor argument]''
to:
-->''[a minor argument]''argument]''\\
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Changed line(s) 2016 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' Argh! Fucking hell! Ah... shit! Fuck...!\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' Argh! Fucking hell! Ah... shit! Fuck...!\\Fuck!\\
Added DiffLines:
'''Clarkson:''' No!\\
''[Clarkson writhes in pain]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh ho ho, hang on... oh, fuck! No, I'm not sure this is good.\\
''[Clarkson pants]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Do you want me to ring Lisa for a bag of peas?\\
''[Clarkson writhes in pain]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh ho ho, hang on... oh, fuck! No, I'm not sure this is good.\\
''[Clarkson pants]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Do you want me to ring Lisa for a bag of peas?\\
Added DiffLines:
-->''[Clarkson does an online course]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' This incident reminded me that it was time to do something that [[RidiculousProcrastinator I'd been putting off forever]].\\
'''Narrator:''' Hello, and welcome to Agriculture Health and Safety. This Lantra course, developed with HSE assistance, will help you identify and manage safety risks.\\
''[Clarkson is bored]''\\
'''Narrator:''' If you control or manage the farm, you are legally responsible for your safety and that of your employees, contractors, visitors, and anyone affected by... ''(fades out)'' ...so that lower supporting bales are stabilized by overlapping and interlocking upper bales...\\
'''Official:''' If you're a self-employed farmer, safety law applies to you, and it always has done. Compliance with the law protects you, makes you much less likely to be hurt...\\
'''Clarkson:''' ''(yawns)'' God...
-->''[a rainwater tank arrives]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Mercifully, Kaleb eventually rescued me from the torture of Health and Safety instructions by calling to say that our giant new water tank had arrived.\\
'''Clarkson:''' 20,000 liters of water.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Free oxygenated soft rainwater will come off that roof and into here.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb attempt to install the tank]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' I don't think it's gonna work.\\
'''Clarkson:''' What isn't?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I think we're gonna have to put a concrete pad down.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Dream on! Every bit of concrete in the country is currently being used by HS2. They're building a railway that goes from London to Liverpool or Manchester or something, about 12 minutes faster, it's costing billions of pounds and it's using every bit of concrete in Britain. I mean, who needs a railway?!
-->''[a minor argument]''
'''Kaleb:''' I've never been on a train, so I don't need a railway.\\
'''Clarkson:''' What?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I've never been on a train. Never.\\
'''Clarkson:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe That's not possible.]]\\
'''Kaleb:''' Prove it! How-\\
'''Clarkson:''' ''(unintelligible}''\\
'''Kaleb:''' How could- how- have you lived me? Have you been me? No.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb reinstall the water tank]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' I couldn't argue with that, but, I wasn't wrong about the concrete, so the next day we decided to relocate the water tank to the other side of the barn.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Got that, then there's a thing that goes on top of it, yeah?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I think I got it out.
-->''[scissor lift woes]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Job one was to fit all the components that go on the top of the tank, so Kaleb suggested I fire up the farm's scissor lift.\\
''[scissor lift beeps]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' I once went up in one of these-\\\
''[scissor lift hits a bump]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' OOOH, FUCKING HELL!\\
''[ding!]''\\
'''Narrator:''' ...and welcome to Module Two: Falls From Height.\\
''(Clarkson snores)''
-->''[Clarkson panics]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' No! Ahh!\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(laughs)'' It's not gonna let you down now!\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's made- STOP DOING THAT!\\
''[scissor lift continues beeping]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(continues laughing)'' Now go up!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No, down! Down- why won't it go down any more?!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I've got you, go back up.\\
'''Clarkson:''' '''OH, FUCK OFF!'''\\
''[Kaleb continues laughing]''
-->''[Clarkson is exasperated]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Go and get a ladder!\\
'''Kaleb:''' This is fine, look!\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's NOT fine!\\
'''Kaleb:''' It is!\\
''[Clarkson attempts to fix the scissor lift]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Ow! [[CurseCutShort Ffff-]] I HATE this thing!
-->''[fitting pipes]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' You get that end and I'll get this end up.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Moaning about the weather... stop it, stop being a twat.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Hey?\\
'''Clarkson:''' Back up, forwards.\\
'''Kaleb:''' What do you mean "Forwards", back-\\
'''Clarkson:''' Is that it?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah, it's on- oh, no, no, it's not yet. One minute, I gotta put it on- there you go, that's on. I'm on. I'm on.\\
'''Clarkson:''' I'm on.\\
''[fixing the next set of pipes]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Come on, push!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I am pushing!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No- push like a man, not like some little baby goat!
-->''[things happen]''\\
''[Kaleb opens a container of putty]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Get this off, first of all...\\
''[Kaleb grabs some putty]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Have you-\\
''[pipe falls off]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, fucking hell!\\
''[both fix the pipe]''\\
''[Kaleb groans]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' You in?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Don't knock me off.\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(laughs)'' There.\\
'''Clarkson:''' There. We're on.
-->''[the job is done]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, fucking hell. 61 years old, having to do something- 'cause how old are you? 23.\\
'''Kaleb:''' It's your show!\\
'''Clarkson:''' Heh, heh! Oh, is it?!\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah!\\
'''Clarkson:''' Everyone get that?! Everyone hear that?!\\
''[Kaleb snickers]''
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' This incident reminded me that it was time to do something that [[RidiculousProcrastinator I'd been putting off forever]].\\
'''Narrator:''' Hello, and welcome to Agriculture Health and Safety. This Lantra course, developed with HSE assistance, will help you identify and manage safety risks.\\
''[Clarkson is bored]''\\
'''Narrator:''' If you control or manage the farm, you are legally responsible for your safety and that of your employees, contractors, visitors, and anyone affected by... ''(fades out)'' ...so that lower supporting bales are stabilized by overlapping and interlocking upper bales...\\
'''Official:''' If you're a self-employed farmer, safety law applies to you, and it always has done. Compliance with the law protects you, makes you much less likely to be hurt...\\
'''Clarkson:''' ''(yawns)'' God...
-->''[a rainwater tank arrives]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Mercifully, Kaleb eventually rescued me from the torture of Health and Safety instructions by calling to say that our giant new water tank had arrived.\\
'''Clarkson:''' 20,000 liters of water.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Free oxygenated soft rainwater will come off that roof and into here.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb attempt to install the tank]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' I don't think it's gonna work.\\
'''Clarkson:''' What isn't?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I think we're gonna have to put a concrete pad down.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Dream on! Every bit of concrete in the country is currently being used by HS2. They're building a railway that goes from London to Liverpool or Manchester or something, about 12 minutes faster, it's costing billions of pounds and it's using every bit of concrete in Britain. I mean, who needs a railway?!
-->''[a minor argument]''
'''Kaleb:''' I've never been on a train, so I don't need a railway.\\
'''Clarkson:''' What?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I've never been on a train. Never.\\
'''Clarkson:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe That's not possible.]]\\
'''Kaleb:''' Prove it! How-\\
'''Clarkson:''' ''(unintelligible}''\\
'''Kaleb:''' How could- how- have you lived me? Have you been me? No.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb reinstall the water tank]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' I couldn't argue with that, but, I wasn't wrong about the concrete, so the next day we decided to relocate the water tank to the other side of the barn.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Got that, then there's a thing that goes on top of it, yeah?\\
'''Kaleb:''' I think I got it out.
-->''[scissor lift woes]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Job one was to fit all the components that go on the top of the tank, so Kaleb suggested I fire up the farm's scissor lift.\\
''[scissor lift beeps]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' I once went up in one of these-\\\
''[scissor lift hits a bump]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' OOOH, FUCKING HELL!\\
''[ding!]''\\
'''Narrator:''' ...and welcome to Module Two: Falls From Height.\\
''(Clarkson snores)''
-->''[Clarkson panics]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' No! Ahh!\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(laughs)'' It's not gonna let you down now!\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's made- STOP DOING THAT!\\
''[scissor lift continues beeping]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(continues laughing)'' Now go up!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No, down! Down- why won't it go down any more?!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I've got you, go back up.\\
'''Clarkson:''' '''OH, FUCK OFF!'''\\
''[Kaleb continues laughing]''
-->''[Clarkson is exasperated]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Go and get a ladder!\\
'''Kaleb:''' This is fine, look!\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's NOT fine!\\
'''Kaleb:''' It is!\\
''[Clarkson attempts to fix the scissor lift]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Ow! [[CurseCutShort Ffff-]] I HATE this thing!
-->''[fitting pipes]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' You get that end and I'll get this end up.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Moaning about the weather... stop it, stop being a twat.\\
'''Kaleb:''' Hey?\\
'''Clarkson:''' Back up, forwards.\\
'''Kaleb:''' What do you mean "Forwards", back-\\
'''Clarkson:''' Is that it?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah, it's on- oh, no, no, it's not yet. One minute, I gotta put it on- there you go, that's on. I'm on. I'm on.\\
'''Clarkson:''' I'm on.\\
''[fixing the next set of pipes]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Come on, push!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I am pushing!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No- push like a man, not like some little baby goat!
-->''[things happen]''\\
''[Kaleb opens a container of putty]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Get this off, first of all...\\
''[Kaleb grabs some putty]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' Have you-\\
''[pipe falls off]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, fucking hell!\\
''[both fix the pipe]''\\
''[Kaleb groans]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' You in?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah.\\
'''Clarkson:''' Don't knock me off.\\
'''Kaleb:''' ''(laughs)'' There.\\
'''Clarkson:''' There. We're on.
-->''[the job is done]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Oh, fucking hell. 61 years old, having to do something- 'cause how old are you? 23.\\
'''Kaleb:''' It's your show!\\
'''Clarkson:''' Heh, heh! Oh, is it?!\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah!\\
'''Clarkson:''' Everyone get that?! Everyone hear that?!\\
''[Kaleb snickers]''
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Changed line(s) 331 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' I'll buy you a drink later, it'll make you feel better.\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' I'll buy you a drink later, it'll make later and you feel better.\\
Added DiffLines:
-->''[Kaleb teaches Clarkson]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Kaleb then instructed me on how farmers would typically deal with this problem.\\
''[Clarkson holds fence]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' That's it, and you just hold it there-\\
'''Clarkson:''' You want me to do this?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah. And then get a post and hold the post as well there and then I'll push that post in behind this one, that make sense?\\
'''Clarkson:''' No.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb attempt to mend the fence]''\\
''[Kaleb props the telehandler's forks on the fence]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' This is totally safe, isn't it? Yeah, I'm sure this is in every manual on how to stay safe on the farm!\\
''[Clarkson begins to panic]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Shit, now don't lower it now, you'll break my arm off!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I'll hold it with this!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No Kaleb, I don't like- now that's ridiculous.\\
'''Kaleb:''' It's fine! Now get the post!
-->''[that's not gone well]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' What, you ready to hold this fence?\\
'''Clarkson:''' What?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Hold the fence! You ready?\\
''[Kaleb slowly lifts the telehandler's arm]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Agh!\\
''[Kaleb releases his hold on the fence post, fence post breaks, hurting Clarkson]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Argh! Fucking hell! Ah... shit! Fuck...!\\
'''Kaleb:''' You alright?\\
'''Clarkson:''' No!
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Kaleb then instructed me on how farmers would typically deal with this problem.\\
''[Clarkson holds fence]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' That's it, and you just hold it there-\\
'''Clarkson:''' You want me to do this?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Yeah. And then get a post and hold the post as well there and then I'll push that post in behind this one, that make sense?\\
'''Clarkson:''' No.
-->''[Clarkson and Kaleb attempt to mend the fence]''\\
''[Kaleb props the telehandler's forks on the fence]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' This is totally safe, isn't it? Yeah, I'm sure this is in every manual on how to stay safe on the farm!\\
''[Clarkson begins to panic]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Shit, now don't lower it now, you'll break my arm off!\\
'''Kaleb:''' I'll hold it with this!\\
'''Clarkson:''' No Kaleb, I don't like- now that's ridiculous.\\
'''Kaleb:''' It's fine! Now get the post!
-->''[that's not gone well]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' What, you ready to hold this fence?\\
'''Clarkson:''' What?\\
'''Kaleb:''' Hold the fence! You ready?\\
''[Kaleb slowly lifts the telehandler's arm]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Agh!\\
''[Kaleb releases his hold on the fence post, fence post breaks, hurting Clarkson]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' Argh! Fucking hell! Ah... shit! Fuck...!\\
'''Kaleb:''' You alright?\\
'''Clarkson:''' No!
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Changed line(s) 459,460 (click to see context) from:
'''Charlie:''' [[RealityEnsues Reality.]]
to:
'''Charlie:''' [[RealityEnsues Reality.]]
Reality.
Changed line(s) 553 (click to see context) from:
'''Alan:''' Stop raining?! It hasn't stopped for eight weeks! Let me tell you summa'; [[RealityEnsues this is global warming]]. You racing about all your life in vehicles!\\
to:
'''Alan:''' Stop raining?! It hasn't stopped for eight weeks! Let me tell you summa'; [[RealityEnsues this is global warming]].warming. You racing about all your life in vehicles!\\
Changed line(s) 2259,2260 (click to see context) from:
'''Kaleb:''' [[RealityEnsues Welcome to farming.]]
to:
'''Kaleb:''' [[RealityEnsues Welcome to farming.]]
farming.
Changed line(s) 3277 (click to see context) from:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Truth be told, I really had been feeling like an old man all day. And the next morning, [[RealityEnsues I found out why.]]\\
to:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Truth be told, I really had been feeling like an old man all day. And the next morning, [[RealityEnsues I found out why.]]\\\\
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Changed line(s) 961 (click to see context) from:
''[Clarkson opens the container to reveal an Alfa Romeo [=GTV6=]]''\\
to:
''[Clarkson opens the container to reveal an Alfa Romeo [=GTV6=]]''\\[=GTV 6=]]''\\
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Changed line(s) 2099 (click to see context) from:
''[Clarkson maneuvers out of th field]''\\
to:
''[Clarkson maneuvers out of th the field]''\\
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Changed line(s) 295,296 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' ''''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK!]]'''
to:
'''Clarkson:''' ''''[[AtomicFBomb '''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK!]]'''
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Changed line(s) 295,296 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' '''FUCK!'''
to:
'''Clarkson:''' '''FUCK!'''
''''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK!]]'''
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Added DiffLines:
-->''[Kaleb and Clarkson attempt to fix the tractor]''\\
'''Kaleb:''' What's going on? All in fucking German! Got no book with that, have we?\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's alright, Google Translate.\\
''[Clarkson attempts to translate]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' "Page not found". ARGH!
'''Kaleb:''' What's going on? All in fucking German! Got no book with that, have we?\\
'''Clarkson:''' It's alright, Google Translate.\\
''[Clarkson attempts to translate]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' "Page not found". ARGH!
Added DiffLines:
-->''[they give up]''\\
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Despite much ferreting, we couldn't find the source of the problem.\\
''[tractor beeps]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' '''FUCK!'''
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Despite much ferreting, we couldn't find the source of the problem.\\
''[tractor beeps]''\\
'''Clarkson:''' '''FUCK!'''
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Changed line(s) 186 (click to see context) from:
''[hay falls of Clarkson's forks]''\\
to:
''[hay falls of off Clarkson's forks]''\\
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Changed line(s) 3674,3675 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' It was just beyond a tip ten minutes ago, they say "Oh our first guests have arrived", nothing's been cooked. We'll have to put on the menu "Some of these dishes may contain Jeremy Clarkson's forehead sweat".\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' It was just beyond a tip ten minutes ago, they say "Oh our first guests have arrived", nothing's been cooked. We'll have to put on the menu "Some of these dishes may contain Jeremy Clarkson's forehead sweat".\\
sweat".
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Changed line(s) 373 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' Now what they want me to do is walk around the field with this. Three times.\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' Now what they want me to do is walk around the field with this. Three times. Well I'm not going to.\\
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Changed line(s) 225 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' Why do you keep saying- everyone keeps saying it's too- [[BerserkButton everyone says it's too big!]]\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' Why do you keep saying- saying it's too- everyone keeps saying it's too- [[BerserkButton everyone says it's too big!]]\\
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Changed line(s) 2993 (click to see context) from:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' While Alan set about repairing the barn, I attached an old plow to [[Series/Thunderbirds Thunderbird 4]] and started work on my link road, which would have other benefits as well.\\
to:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' While Alan set about repairing the barn, I attached an old plow to [[Series/Thunderbirds [[Series/{{Thunderbirds}} Thunderbird 4]] and started work on my link road, which would have other benefits as well.\\
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Changed line(s) 3817 (click to see context) from:
''[Kaleb sees an [=AgustaWestland=] AW109S Grand helicopter]''\\
to:
''[Kaleb sees an [=AgustaWestland=] AW109S [=AgustaWestland AW109S=] Grand helicopter]''\\
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Changed line(s) 3684 (click to see context) from:
''Clarkson:''' Can I put this in the back of my car and take it away?\\
to:
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Changed line(s) 115 (click to see context) from:
''[auctioneer his a stick on his clipboard]''\\
to:
''[auctioneer his hits a stick on his clipboard]''\\
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Changed line(s) 2416 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:''' You know, if you go to a spar, what they should say is "Would you like..."\\
to:
'''Clarkson:''' You know, if you go to a spar, spa, what they should say is "Would you like..."\\
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Changed line(s) 187 (click to see context) from:
'''Clarkson:'''' Fuck sake...\\
to:
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Changed line(s) 113 (click to see context) from:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Under the watchful gaze of a man who seemed to have had an argument with a threshing machine, I started bidding.\\\
to:
'''Voiceover Clarkson:''' Under the watchful gaze of a man who seemed to have had an argument with a threshing machine, I started bidding.\\\\\
