History PlayingWith / PatrickStewartSpeech

** Alternatively, Bob freely acknowledges that HumansAreBastards, but points out the hypocrisy to [[NotSoDifferent the equally flawed alien]] that wants to wipe us out, who subsequently can't go through with it.

*** Bob lays out a BadassBoast that the aliens [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done]] [[HumansAreMorons to one another and our own planet]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreDivided most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] [[HumansKillWantonly to keep them from having a single block.]] Worse, [[HumansAdvanceSwiftly we'll probably find ways to reverse engineer all their shiny toys and turn them on the aliens.]] Oh, and HumansAreSurvivors - as long as a handful of us are alive and ''they're'' wiped out, we'll call it a win. [[OhCrap This convinces the aliens]] that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

%%* '''Plotted A Good Waste''': ???

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done]] [[HumansAreMorons to one another and our own planet]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreDivided most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] [[HumansKillWantonly to keep them from having a single block.]] Worse, [[HumansAdvanceSwiftly we'll probably find ways to reverse engineer all their shiny toys and turn them on the aliens.]] Oh, and HumansAreSurvivors - as long as a handful of us are alive and ''they're'' wiped out, we'll call it a win. [[OhCrap This convinces the aliens]] that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done]] [[HumansAreMorons to one another and our own planet]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreDivided most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] [[HumansKillWantonly to keep them from having a single block.]] Worse, [[HumansAdvanceSwiftly we'll probably find ways to reverse engineer all their shiny toys and turn them on the aliens.]] Oh, and HumansAreSurvivors - as long as a handful of us are alive and ''they're'' wiped out, we'll call it a win. [[OhCrap This convinces the aliens]] that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done]] [[HumansAreMorons to one another and our own planet]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreDivided most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] [[HumansKillWantonly to keep them from having a single block.]] Oh, and HumansAreSurvivors and HumansAreAdaptable - as long as a handful of us are alive and ''they're'' wiped out, we'll call it a win. [[OhCrap This convinces the aliens]] that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done]] [[HumansAreMorons to one another and our own planet]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreDivided most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] [[HumansKillWantonly to keep them from having a single block.]] [[OhCrap This convinces the aliens]] that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done to one another]] [[HobbesWasRight for the]] [[HumansAreMorons most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] to keep them from having a single block. This convinces the aliens that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], goes on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done to one another]] [[HobbesWasRight for the most trivial of reasons]] to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] to keep them from having a single block. This convinces the aliens that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], go on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done to one another]] [[HobbesWasRight for the most trivial of reasons]], to let them know ''exactly'' how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] to keep them from having a single block. This convinces the aliens that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], go on to list a [[PostHistoricalTrauma spectacular list of historical atrocities]] [[HumansAreBastards we've done to one another]] [[HobbesWasRight for the most trivial of reasons]], just how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] to keep them from having a single block. This convinces the aliens that they clearly don't want to deal with a planet full of [[HumanityIsInsane psychotic apes.]]

*** Bob tells the aliens that they're [[BringIt welcome to try]], but humans are [[AlwaysABiggerFish even nastier than they are]], go on to list a [[PostHistoricalTramua spectacular list]] of just how [[HumansAreWarriors bloodthirsty]] and [[HumansAreTheRealMonsters vicious]] we are, and to not be too surprised by the fact we'll [[NukeEm nuke an entire city]] to keep them from having a single block.

* '''Downplayed''': Bob tries to convince the aliens that humans, although while selfish idiots, don't deserve to die & do have admirable qualities. Because while Bob might be a misanthrope, that doesn't mean he's a MisanthropeSupreme.

* '''Downplayed''': Bob tries to convince the aliens that humans, although while selfish idiots, don't deserve to die & do have admirable qualities. Because Bob might be a misanthrope, but that doesn't mean he's a MisanthropeSupreme.
* '''Justified''':

** The person giving the speech to the aliens is Creator/PatrickStewart himself, and he simply recites one of his famous speeches from the show (or ad-libs one on the spot).

** Zork tries to convince the humans, who have come to destroy the aliens, that their species has it's strengths.
* '''Subverted''':

** Bob starts out defending humanity but it quickly turns into a HumansAreBastards speech instead.
* '''Double Subverted''':
** A friend comes up with one at the last minute.
** Alternatively, Bob's honesty encourages the aliens to give humans a chance for redemption
** Alternatively, Bob re-affirms his words despite the lack of reasons by explaining that HumansAreFlawed which makes them as special as they are.

** Bob's speech spirals down into a ShaggyFrogStory

* '''Enforced''':
** "We feel that by explaining how HumansAreSpecial, Bob looks more heroic"
** Or The producers/writers used this chance to point out why HumansAreSpecial as a TakeThat [[TakeThatAudience towards misanthropes who watch the show]].

* '''Invoked''': As everyone looks properly doomed Bob says "Hey wait, what if I made a speech about the goodness of humanity?"
* '''Exploited''': The characters know that the story isn't going to turn around for the better until someone stands up and gives an inspiring speech first, Bob takes the initiative.
* '''Defied''' :
** Bob decides not to defend humans because they are special in anyway, but because destroying any sapient species is wrong.
** Bob refuses to give such a speech, preferring to simply [[HumansAreWarriors wipe out the aliens who are questioning humanity]].
* '''Discussed''': "Hey what if I tried to reason with the aliens, that might work right?"