History Music / MariaCross

* ImpossibleHairColor

* StreetMusician: This is Maria's primary way of performing. With no permits and [[NoIndoorVoice no controls]] on [[HellisThatNoise amplified sound]] etc, so zhe tends to get in a lot of trouble with the police.

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with his screaming capacity (zis uncleans come close to sounding like [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] or [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], and zis clean vocals are actually ''better'' than DynamiteTommy), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* DeathMetal: Zhe's more than this -- zhe's straight-up ''deathgrind'' and ''noisegrind'', genres that any sane Oshare kei musician would ''never, ever'' try.

* MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: ''[[ReadingsAreOffTheScale Beyond]]'' [[UpToEleven 11]].
* NeoclassicalPunkZydecoRockabilly: The best label for [[HellIsThatNoise whatever zis musical style is]].

* SopranoAndGravel: Maria tries. Instead it's more like ''Gravel and Meatgrinder''. Zhe has his soprano moments, though zhe ends up sounding like a bad [[{{Expy}} clone]] of Music/DirEnGrey vocalist Kyo.

* XMeetsY: [[Music/AnalCunt Seth Putnam]] meets [[Music/{{Pantera}} Phil Anselmo]] meets TastesLikeDiabetes meets {{Japan}}

* IntercourseWithYou: Zhe apparently likes writing the word "sex" in his lyrics. [[OverlyLongGag Over and over again]].

* {{Shotacon}}: Arrested for and convicted for child molestation, although if zhe wasn't lying about zis age, the incident involved an older teen when zhe was in zis early 20s, so whether the incident was actually indicative of true pedophilia is debatable.

* XMeetsY: Music/AnalCunt meets TastesLikeDiabetes meets {{Japan}}

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with his screaming capacity (zis uncleans come close to sounding like [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] or [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]], and zis clean vocals are actually ''better'' than Music/DynamiteTommy), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable (and successful) Eroguro or metal singer with his screaming capacity (his uncleans come close to sounding like [[Music/TokyoYankees Ume]] or [[Music/DirEnGrey Kyo]]), or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* DeathMetal: He's more than this -- he's straight-up ''deathgrind'' and ''noisegrind'', genres that any sane Oshare kei musician would ''never, ever'' try.

* NeoclassicalPunkZydecoRockabilly: The best label for [[HellIsThatNoise whatever his musical style is]].

* ScreamsLikeALittleGirl: One of his most-used vocal techniques.

* SopranoAndGravel: Maria tries. Instead it's more like ''Gravel and Meatgrinder''. He has his soprano moments, though he ends up sounding like a bad [[{{Expy}} clone]] of Music/DirEnGrey vocalist Kyo.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Had zhe taken on another look than "cute Oshare-kei," and had zhe also worked in some way to fuse VisualKei with grindcore or noise, and, you know, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick not screwed a kid]], zhe possibly would have been as famous as Boris or Merzbow or Melt Banana for actual artistic work, rather than famous for being a public nuisance, a likely parody of genre and style, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick being in gay porn]], and [[UpToEleven screwing a kid]].
* WordSaladLyrics: When they're written down or semi-comprehensible at all, they are often this.

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of [[EpicFail failure]] at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable Eroguro or metal singer with the screaming capacity, or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* DeathMetal: Straight-up ''deathgrind'' and ''noisegrind'', genres that any sane Oshare kei musician would ''never, ever'' try.

* ScreamsLikeALittleGirl: Possibly the defining characteristic of his music.

* SopranoAndGravel: Maria tries. Instead it's more like Gravel and Meatgrinder.

* MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: ''[[UpToEleven Beyond]]'' 11.

* StealthParody: VERY possible. The StrictlyFormula PV, the failure at everything related to the style zhe claims to represent, the most execrably written lyrics possible... in fact, pretty much the only ways to interpret Maria Cross is as postmodern StealthParody of VisualKei, or as, at the very best, GiftedlyBad.
* StreetMusician: This is Maria's primary way of performing. With no permits and no controls on amplified sound etc, so zhe tends to get in a lot of trouble with the police.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Had zhe taken on another look than "cute Oshare-kei," and had zhe also worked in some way to fuse VisualKei with grindcore or noise, and, you know, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick not screwed a kid]], zhe possibly would have been as famous as Boris or Merzbow or Melt Banana for actual artistic work, rather than famous for being a public nuisance, a likely parody of genre and style, being in gay porn, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick screwing a kid]].

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of failure at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing and singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable Eroguro or metal singer with the screaming capacity, or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow or Melt Banana, that would have been a far better genre.

* MohsScaleOfRockAndMetalHardness: ''Beyond'' an 11.

* ScreamsLikeALittleGirl: Possibly the defining characteristic of zis music.

* StylisticSuck: If it is a parody.

* ExpectationLowerer: If you're a Visual Kei vocalist, this is the floor. You are likely more talented than Maria Cross either [[SoBadItsGood is]] or [[StylisticSuck pretends to be]], unless you are HollywoodToneDeaf and your voice sounds like a cat yowling along to an endless loop of the Wilhelm Scream.

* SoBadItsGood: To two parties usually:
** To VisualKei fans who see Maria as a parody or straight up SoBadItsGood. Also, there has to be something said, even if it's not much, for someone who repeatedly stays at doing what they want to do even if the result is intense mockery from ''nearly everyone'' involved with it or being considered a parody or "hey, I may be an awful singer/guitarist/etc, but I'm not Maria Cross."
** To noise/grindcore/etc fans.

Maria Cross is a solo VisualKei singer allegedly [[InNameOnly of the Oshare Kei style]], known best for street performances in Tokyo that are closer to the extremes of noise music, grindcore, and noisegrind. Is zhe a StealthParody of VisualKei or just GiftedlyBad? No one really knows, although zhe has attained [[MemeticMutation legendary status]] in some corners of VisualKei for being either or both. That said, Maria Cross is something that, for the true visual kei fan, cannot be described, but simply must be ''experienced.'' In this experience, one may find some form of absolute zen understanding... or simply wonder why the DreadfulMusician page cannot have just ''one'' real life example.

* WhatCouldHaveBeen: Had zhe taken on another look than "cute Oshare-kei," and had zhe also worked in some way to fuse VisualKei with grindcore or noise, and, you know, [[BreadEggsAndSquick not screwed a kid]], zhe possibly would have been as famous as Boris or Merzbow or Melt Banana for actual artistic work, rather than famous for being a public nuisance, a likely parody of genre and style, being in gay porn, and [[BreadEggsAndSquick screwing a kid]].

YouHaveBeenWarned!//

YouHaveBeenWarned!

* ButtMonkey: Has become a near memetic symbol of failure at VisualKei, for a variety of reasons ranging from zis child molestation arrest to zis singing and singing style by those who just see it as straight up bad music rather than StealthParody, to zis very derivative take on Oshare Kei and yet inability to match anything but the appearance of it. It's often said that zhe would have made a workable Eroguro or metal singer with the screaming capacity, or if zhe marketed/presented as a noise artist like Merzbow

Maria Cross is a VisualKei singer allegedly [[InNameOnly of the Oshare Kei style]], known best for street performances in Tokyo that are closer to the extremes of noise music, grindcore, and noisegrind. Is zhe a StealthParody of VisualKei or just GiftedlyBad? No one really knows, although zhe has attained [[MemeticMutation legendary status]] in some corners of VisualKei for being either or both. That said, Maria Cross is something that, for the true visual kei fan, cannot be described, but simply must be ''experienced.'' In this experience, one may find some form of absolute zen understanding... or simply wonder why the DreadfulMusician page cannot have just ''one'' real life example.

!Tropes that apply to Music/MariaCross

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->''"[[MetalScream GUAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHAAAAGGGHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!]] [[IntercourseWithYou SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX]] [[CarefulWithThatAxe AAAAAAAAAAAAUGGHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH GURAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!]] [[ScreamsLikeAGirl AAUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"'']]