History Main / UselessBystanderParent

* In ''Literature/WhereAreTheChildren'', Nancy was a {{downplayed|trope}} example when it came to Peter and Lisa, and she's portrayed more sympathetically than is typical. [[spoiler:Carl had initially convinced Nancy his authoritarian parenting was best for the family, but she became increasingly aware that the way her husband treated their children was abnormal and harmful. Despite this, she often struggled to stand up to him, as she was also being [[DomesticAbuse abused and controlled]] by Carl (not to mention she'd married him when she was barely an adult herself). When she began to suspect Carl was sexually abusing Lisa (and possibly Peter, too), she realised she needed to get herself and the children away from Carl, starting by [[SubvertedTrope insisting on making a doctor's appointment for Lisa]]; unfortunately, Lisa and Peter were murdered before any genuine intervention could happen, something she still feels immense guilt over]].

* Alador from ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'' is not as actively malicious or abusive as his wife Odalia, so much as complicit in whatever she does. Aside from helping her blackmail Amity into dropping Willow as a friend as a young child, he supports her bid to expel Luz, Gus, and Willow despite lacking her enthusiasm, allows her to nearly kill Luz in a weapons demonstration, and only stands up for Amity when she defends Luz on PragmaticVillainy grounds.

* In ''Manhwa/TheTarotCafe'', one story has an alchemist trying to woo a heartless princess with her promising to love him if he can make her laugh. He creates a very humanlike jester "[[ArtificialHuman doll]]" for this purpose, which the princess starts torturing for her own amusement. The alchemist realizes what's happening to the jester and is horrified, but he meets with Pamela uncertain of what to do. [[spoiler: He eventually chooses to side with the jester, who feels genuine love for his creator, rather than with the princess.]]

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]

* Cyan's mother, Belinda, in ''Literature/TheAmyVirus'', is this. [[spoiler:She hated scamming people with the Good Brain Diet, hated the actual diet itself, and hated the FinancialAbuse the blog was doing to Cyan. She wanted to end the blog after the first year, but her husband Daniel kept scaring her into thinking that the scam and the FinacialAbuse was the only way for them to make money.]] [[spoiler:It took Cyan finally running away after Daniel's threat to lock her up in an institution if she kept rebelling against him for Belinda [[GrewASpine to finally stand up to Daniel]]. She subsequently becomes TheAtoner by forcibly divorcing Daniel, taking full custody of Cyan so Daniel can never hurt her again, and publicly revealing the truth about the Good Brain Diet to shut the scam down.]]
* In ''The Cat Ate My Gymsuit'', Lily makes weak attempts to stop her husband’s emotional and verbal abuse of Marcy and Stuart, telling them that "Their daddy loves them very much, he just has a hard time showing it", despite the fact that he clearly hates them. She’s also abused by him and drugs herself with tranquilizers to cope. She gets better by the end, openly calling him out and taking night classes with the implication that she plans to leave him in the future.

* In Creator/JackieFrench's ''Summerland'' (not to be confused with several works of the same name), Bridget's mother is the in-denial variant of the spineless parent. She knows her husband is dangerous and at least makes an attempt to get her daughter out of the way before he arrives home, but she is ultimately always making excuses for him: if only she were a better wife, if only Bridget would be good and not make him so angry... Eventually, Bridget stands up for herself and leaves home to seek the safety of her grandparents' house. Her mum supports this decision, yet her main concern is that Bridget doesn't let them know what's going on.

* ''Fanfic/TheNewRetcons'': Both of the Pattersons are [[ParentalNeglect neglectful parents]], but John also turns a blind eye towards Elly's abuse. Such as when she kicks their youngest daughter April out of the house because she's [[SanitySlippage convinced herself]] that she's ''not'' their daughter, but John's hygienist who supposedly has designs on being a homewrecker. He only cares about her behavior insofar as it impacts ''him'' and their repuation.

* Gladstone Gander in the WesternAnimation/DuckTales1987 fanfic ''[[Fanfic/LittleBro Little Brother]]''. He tries to be competent, but old habits die hard, and since he is the luckiest goose in the world who's ''not'' used to exerting effort or thinking too hard, he has this problem.

** Shigaraki's mother and maternal grandparents did love him and his sister Hana, but all three adults were too meek to stand up to his father, Kotaro, whenever the man was putting Shigaraki/Tenko outside in the backyard as punishment for playing heroes. They only told Shigaraki not to cry and would try to cheer him up after being punished. After Kotaro hit his son in front of the entire family, his wife and her parents finally had enough of his abusive treatment towards the children and confronted him on the matter, with his wife threatening to leave him and take the kids with her. [[spoiler: Unfortunately it was too late, as Tenko's Decayed Quirk finally appeared and killed most of his family by accident (with his father's death being on purpose).]] [[FromBadToWorse And then All For One shows up]] and Musutafu, its heroes, and its citizens would pay a heavy price for that family's inaction.

** [[spoiler: Rei Todoroki]] considers herself to be one. Although she hated how her husband treated their youngest son as a tool to surpass both him and All Might and tried to get her husband to acknowledge their three other children, [[spoiler: Rei]] didn't truly help her eldest son when his mental state began to spiral down after being replaced by his younger brother as their father's successor. When she tried to get her eldest son to think about opportunities other than the hero path his father formerly set him on, he called her out on this and reminded her that she was just as responsible for his pain since she knew that his father only wanted to marry her so he could have children with powerful Quirks.

* [[Literature/HanselAndGretel Hansel and Gretel's]] father is reluctant to abandon the children but repeatedly complies with the scheme when his wife pushes him to.

* Hisashi sums up Masaru Bakugou's character and his impact on Katsuki's life in ''FanFic/ConversationsWithACryptid'':
-->'''Hisashi''': I know that your father was so worthless that your mother had to chase him. That he’s a spineless, pathetic wimp that’s at the beck and call of his emotionally abusive wife. [[VillainHasAPoint That not once in all your years has he ever defended you from her stupidity about strength and weakness,]] as though she were a chimpanzee frolicking about in the jungle as opposed to a functional human being raising a vulnerable child.

* In the ''Series/LawAndOrderUK'' story [[https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5773118/1/Delayed-Shock Delayed Shock]], Matt confides to Alesha that he resents his mother as much as his abusive stepfather because she was a classic example of this.
* In the Literature/{{Discworld}} of Creator/AAPessimal, young Witch Rebecka Smith-Rhodes-Stibbons, aged nine, finds herself fighting off a threat from the Dungeon Dimensions. Her father, wizard Ponder Stibbons, is able to follow her there but realises that he can't intervene in the fight, as turning it into a magical battle would blow back on both of them and only make the Things stronger. He is forced to stand on the sidelines as his daughter figures it out for herself (with a little unexpected help) and eventually defeats them on her own initiative.

* In the Danish film ''Film/TheCelebration'', Else Klingenfeldt-Hansen did nothing to prevent her husband's horrific sexual abuse of their twin children, even when, on one occasion, she found him in the act of raping them.

* In ''Film/MadeasBigHappyFamily'', this is an alternate way of viewing the mother, Shirley. Although she prides herself on being a decent, single parent who brought up her children to be God-fearing and respectful, the reality is all three of her children have substantial issues. Worst of all is those of eldest daughter Kimberly, who was [[spoiler: raped by her Uncle at the age of 13, which culminated in her getting pregnant with her "brother" Byron, who Shirley, instead of pursuing any legal action from it, decides to turn to God and raise the boy as her own, which was withheld from him throughout his upbringing.]]

* In ''Literature/StoneCold'' by Robert Swindells, the main character's mother allows her new boyfriend, Vince, to chase both of her children out of the house. Her older daughter moves in with her boyfriend after an implied proposition/assault by Vince. Her son, known only as "Link", fares even worse - Vince subjects him to constant insults (apparently trying to get the sixteen-year-old to leave), then locks him out of the house one night only to physically attack him upon his return, claiming to be enraged that Link "worried his mother" by staying out all night. He then leaves home, becoming homeless on the streets of Bradford. His mother clearly knows that Vince is abusive...but never once defends her children. This eventually leads to a disastrous Christmas party where Vince viciously berates and mocks Link...while his mother and sister stand by and say nothing. In fact, their Christmas gift to him is a ''sleeping bag'' -- confirmation that, rather than rescuing him, they're effectively abandoning him and expecting him to remain homeless. Link decides to take his chances living on the street in London rather than living anywhere near Vince.
* In Creator/JackieFrench's ''Summerland'' (not to be confused with several works of the same name), Bridget's mother is the in-denial variant of the spineless parent. She knows her husband is dangerous and at least makes an attempt to get her daughter out of the way before he arrives home, but she is ultimately always making excuses for him: if only she were a better wife, if only Bridget would be good and not make him so angry... Eventually, Bridget stands up for herself and leaves home to seek the safety of her grandparents' house. Her mum supports this decision, yet her main concern is that Bridget doesn't let them know what's going on.
* In ''Literature/MySistersKeeper'', Brian never seems entirely comfortable with using Anna as a WalkingTransplant. Yet he does nothing for 13 years, during which Anna undergoes many painful, invasive surgeries. He seems to be making a stand when she herself sues for medical emancipation though...only to break down on the stand and admit that really, he wants Anna to do what her mother, Sara, wants her to do (presumably because he's terrified that Anna's sister, Kate, will die otherwise).

* In the ''Literature/TheHouseOfNight'' series, Zoey's mother is treated as this by both Zoey and her grandmother, who blame her for marrying an abusive man and neglecting her children. Considering the mom ''was'' apparently a good parent until her second marriage and her new husband is incredibly controlling of her (and the implication that she's financially dependent on him), this has a few UnfortunateImplications.
* In the ''Literature/{{Divergent}}'' series, [[spoiler: Four's mom, Evelyn, escaped from the abusive family life she had and left her hapless son to be abused by his father, Marcus, for over 10 years. She knew that the abuse is going on, but she deliberately never met, comforted, or retook her job as a mom afterward until he was 16 years old. Unlike many examples in the series, though, it's very much called out: the first time that the two reunited, Four proceeded to give [[WhatTheHellHero her a middle finger and refused to meet her again]] (though he changed his mind eventually). Tris also doesn't like to be in her company for similar reasons.]]
* In ''Literature/{{Jumper}}'', David's mom runs away from her abusive husband but leaves Davy with him. Davy doesn't blame her, but ''she'' believes that she has to make amends for leaving him to face the abuse alone [[WriterOnBoard as part of the Alanon step program]].

* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'', a tie-in novel to ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'', reveals that Prince Hans lives in an abusive family, where his [[AbusiveParents father]] and 11 of his 12 older brothers constantly mock, beat up, and mistreat Hans every day. [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas His mother]] was very much against this, but years of her husband's cruelty and abuse of everyone have made her terrified, reducing her to an ExtremeDoormat who is unable to do anything but give Hans small smiles to acknowledge him, but his brothers pick on him for it. [[spoiler: Her reaction to what her youngest son did in Arendelle is never revealed]].
* Cyan's mother, Belinda, in ''Literature/TheAmyVirus'', is this. [[spoiler: She hated scamming people with the Good Brain Diet, hated the actual diet itself, and hated the FinancialAbuse the blog was doing to Cyan. She wanted to end the blog after the first year, but her husband Daniel kept scaring her into thinking that the scam and the FinacialAbuse was the only way for them to make money]]. [[spoiler: It took Cyan finally running away after Daniel's threat to lock her up in an institution if she kept rebelling against him for Belinda [[GrewASpine to finally stand up to Daniel]]. She subsequently becomes TheAtoner by forcibly divorcing Daniel, taking full custody of Cyan so Daniel can never hurt her again, and publicly revealing the truth about the Good Brain Diet to shut the scam down]].
* In ''Literature/EllaEnchanted'', Ella's father admits to being upset by how she's treated by her stepfamily but not so much that he's willing to return home to put a stop to it.
* In the backstory of ''Literature/{{Worm}}'', Taylor's father was so busy mourning the death of his wife that he never noticed that his only child was being subjected to a psychological terror campaign masterminded by her best friend (the daughter of ''his'' best friend) for ''two years'', leading to her Triggering with insect control powers and eventually becoming a supervillain.

* In ''The Cat Ate My Gymsuit'', Lily makes weak attempts to stop her husband’s emotional and verbal abuse of Marcy and Stuart, telling them that "Their daddy loves them very much, he just has a hard time showing it", despite the fact that he clearly hates them. She’s also abused by him and drugs herself with tranquilizers to cope. She gets better by the end, openly calling him out and taking night classes with the implication that she plans to leave him in the future.
* ''Literature/EleanorAndPark'': Sabrina stands by and does nothing while Richie abuses the kids due to her own abuse and codependency.

* ''Series/VeronicaMars'': Logan's mother Lynn is very aware that her husband Aaron is a violent abuser who beats his son with a belt. She tries to ignore it by [[AlcoholicParent drinking extensively]]. [[spoiler: She later commits suicide after Logan threatens to kill Aaron.]]

* ''Literature/TheBible:'' David's oldest son, Amnon, rapes his half-sister Tamar, which is discovered by Tamar's other brother, Absalom. We are told that David is furious about this...but not that Amnon suffers any sort of punishment. It's Absalom who [[SilentTreatment refuses to speak to Amnon]] for years and eventually [[RapeAndRevenge kills him]]. ''Now'' David gets around to acting, in that he nearly kills Absalom, but he is eventually convinced not to. Presumably this all contributes to Absalom's FaceHeelTurn.

* One of the ''Talking Helps it Stop'' NSPCC ads features a girl who is physically abused by her father. When the abuse starts, you can hear her mother say (in an apathetic tone) "Leave her alone" but she never intervenes.

[[folder: Theatre]]

* ''Webcomic/KhaosKomix'': TheReveal in [[spoiler: Jamie]]'s story is that his mother, in addition to being emotionally and physically abusive herself, knew about [[spoiler: his sexual abuse as a young child by a family friend]] but did nothing [[SlaveToPR because it would have made her look bad]]. He immediately cuts all ties with her.

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}},'' Jake had a HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood (mostly psychological, it seems) from his now-deceased father, "Mad-Dog" Morgendorffer. One episode has his mother Ruth visit and admit that she wishes that she had stood up to Mad-Dog, both for Jake and for herself. (A tie-in book also includes a bitter letter that Jake sent to his father, with a parenthetical note to Ruth saying that he doesn't blame her because he knows that she could never stand up to him.)
* In ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls,'' [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Stan]] [[spoiler: and [[WalkingSpoiler Ford]]]]'s mother, [[AllThereInTheScript Caryn]], seems to have cared more about him than her husband Filbrick--she calls him a "free spirit" when other people just put him down, and [[AllThereInTheManual bonus materials]] refer to her as a "caring mother [[LikeFatherLikeSon and kleptomaniac]]." That said, she wasn't able to do anything to keep Filbrick from kicking him out, and, as far as we know, she didn't keep in contact with him afterwards.

** Shigaraki's mother and maternal grandparents did love him and his sister Hana, but all three adults were too meek to stand up to his father, Kotaro, whenever the man was putting Shigaraki/Tenko outside in the backyard as punishment for playing heroes. They only told Shigaraki not to cry and would try to cheer him up after being punished. After Kotaro hit his son in front of the entire family, his wife and her parents finally had enough of his abusive treatment towards the children and confronted him on the matter, with his wife threatening to leave him and take the kids with her. [[spoiler: Unfortunately it was too late, as Tenko's Decayed Quirk finally appeared and killed most of his family by accident (with his father's death being on purpose).]]

* ''Film/WomenTalking'': Deconstructed. Mariche's defensive and abrasive demeanor is due to a combination of having young sons by her abusive husband and being conditioned to always forgive him for his abuse. In a heated moment, Ona accuses her of doing nothing to educate or protect her sons from this cycle of abuse. Mariche retorts that she doesn't really have a choice in the matter, and Ona doesn't understand her situation as she's not a wife herself.

Usually, if the abuse is physical, the UBP will be female and the abuser male. If the abuse is emotional, the reverse is usually true. A step-parent can be an UBP and will generally be sympathetic, as their desire to help the kids will conflict with not wanting to overstep the mark.

* In ''Manga/DeathNote'', [[KnightTemplar Teru Mikami]]'s mother cares for her son, and when he gets himself beaten up while trying to protect others from bullies, she tells him that he should not try to take on the impossible task of protecting everyone. While the third person omniscient narrator for his flashbacks in the manga supports that she said what she did for his sake, Teru himself narrates in the anime that his mother was not just, and sees her death along with several bullies as proof of a god that punishes evildoers.

** Kyoko was massively abused and eventually disowned by her father while her mother did nothing but fret and wonder how her daughter turned out so poorly and what would the neighbors think?

* In the oneshot manga ''Manga/GoodbyeEri'', Yuta's father is revealed to be this, not having protected Yuta from his mother's emotional abuse. It's shown that she didn't treat him any better than she did their son, so it's likely that she browbeat him into submission before Yuta was even born. Nevertheless, Yuta's father is regretful for not having stood up, and does his best to encourage him once she's gone.

* ''Manga/Reborn2004'' has Nana Sawada, the main character’s own mother. While she isn’t necessarily a bad parent per say, she doesn’t do much to help ease tensions between her husband and son and often takes her husband’s side instead. She doesn’t even show a lick of concern towards Tsuna’s low self-esteem and the blatant bullying he endures at school either. In the manga, there are even a few moments where she herself says some things that would normally be considered abusive.

** On Abhimanyu's side, his aunt (who took him in after his parents died) is shown to treat him as an unwanted guest at best and a freeloader at worst rather than as her nephew, [[spoiler: even calling him [[KickTheDog bad luck when his grandmother is hospitalized, knowing full well how the death of his parents affected him.]]]] All Abhimanyu's uncle does is weakly tell her to stop, but it's later implied that he does nothing more than that, according to Abhimanyu, who says he's used to not being listened and ignored at home.

* In ''Literature/StoneCold'' by Robert Swindells, the main character's mother allows her new boyfriend, Vince, to chase both of her children out of the house. Her older daughter moves in with her boyfriend after an implied proposition/assault by Vince. Her son, known only as "Link", fares even worse - Vince subjects him to constant insults (apparently trying to get the sixteen-year-old to leave), then locks him out of the house one night only to physically attack him upon his return, claiming to be enraged that Link "worried his mother" by staying out all night. He then leaves home, becoming homeless in the streets of Bradford. His mother clearly knows that Vince is abusive...but never once defends her children. This eventually leads to a disastrous Christmas party where Vince viciously berates and mocks Link...while his mother and sister stand by and say nothing. In fact, their Christmas gift to him is a ''sleeping bag'' -- confirmation that, rather than rescuing him, they're effectively abandoning him and expecting him to remain homeless. Link decides to take his chances living on the street in London rather than living anywhere near Vince.

* ''Literature/AFrozenHeart'', a tie-in novel to ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'', reveals that Prince Hans lives with an abusive family, where his [[AbusiveParents father]] and 11 of his 12 older brothers constantly mock, beat up, and mistreat Hans every day. [[EvenBadMenLoveTheirMamas His mother]] was very much against this, but years of her husband's cruelty and abuse of everyone has made her terrified, reducing her to an ExtremeDoormat who is unable to do anything but give Hans small smiles to acknowledge him, but his brothers pick on him for it. [[spoiler: Her reaction to what her youngest son did in Arendelle is never revealed]].

* In ''The Cat Ate My Gymsuit'', Lily makes weak attempts to stop her husband’s emotional and verbal abuse of Marcy and Stuart, telling them that "Their daddy loves them very much, he just has a hard time showing it", despite the fact that he clearly hates them. She’s also abused by him and drugs herself with tranquilizers to cope. She gets better by the end, with openly calling him out and taking night classes with the implication that she plans to leave him in the future.

[[folder: Public Service Announcements]]

* ''Manga/Reborn2004'' has Nana Sawada, the main character’s own mother. While she isn’t necessarily a bad parent per say, she doesn’t do much to help ease tensions between her husband and son and often takes her husband’s side instead. She doesn’t even show a lick of concern towards Tsuna’s low self-esteem and the blatant bullying he endures at school either.

[[folder:Film]]

* Subverted in ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' with Cartman and his mother, where it is in fact the ''child'' who is the source of the abuse. Cartman's mother has shown on occasion that she clearly disapproves of her son's sadistic and cruel behavior, but she's such an enormous pushover that the most she usually does in response is to politely ask him to stop. In the season ten episode "Tsst," it's revealed that her enabling is a result of her having no other people in her life who care about her enough to spend time with her, and she uses her son to fill the void, spoiling him in the process.

* Hansel and Gretel's father is reluctant to abandon the children but cooperates with the scheme when his wife pushes him, even repeating this process three times after they manage to find their way home. Nor does he make any attempt to find them again after his wife dies, despite lamenting their loss.

** Tohru's grandfather is one of the more sympathetic examples from the manga. He really does love his son, but it's implied he had very little hand in Katsuya's upbringing because the two rarely saw eye-to-eye. In present times in the series, he loves Tohru dearly but his poor health means that he has to be cared for by Tohru's aunt and uncle. Realizing he can't do much to protect her from their cruelty and not wanting her to feel trapped, the best he can do is urge her to go somewhere else if there's a place she'd rather be at.