History Main / TrojanGauntlet

The acquiring of said birth control is where this trope comes into play. For some reason, buying condoms or getting on the pill is made a torturous experience that explains why most sex on TV is hasty, unplanned, and thoughtless. The pharmacist will give a character a hard time about buying his condoms, or an unrealistically insensitive clinic worker will make going on the pill the most embarrassing thing possible. Even worse is if a parent or parent figure finds out, and instead of berating the character, supports their responsibility... often with humiliating advice and anecdotes. In comedies, this will be milked for all its worth.

-->'''Joe''': LAMBSKINS OR ULTRA-SENSITIVE?

* On ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', the girls attempt to discreetly buy condoms, to be subjected to a loud price check everyone in the store hears.
** Fortunately, the embarrassment leads to a crowning speech of awesome.

** A variation where the guy goes into the fitting room alone. Five minutes later, the guy comes back and asks "Forget the condoms. [[ADateWithRosiePalms How much for the board?]]"

* In ''Film/CarryOnCamping'', Bernie is too shy to ask for sexual magazines over the counter in the newsagents, especially when there's an attractive woman serving for the day, so he asks for toothpaste out of embarrassment. Sid realizes, "That's why your cupboard's full of toothpaste."

* Played with in Wet Hot American Summer, First Day at Camp. Victor wants a box of condoms, and goes to a nearby store. He buys, a comb, a copy of TV Guide, a key chain, a deck of cards, the condoms, and some lube. The clerk then calls for a price check, setting up the expected joke of the conspicuous price check on the condoms and lube. Instead, the clerk asks for a price check on the key chain. Victor panics and tries desperately to stop the price check.

* A historical variation in ''The First Casualty'' by Creator/BenElton. One of the main characters is a World War One nurse who ReallyGetsAround, and uses a nondisposable condom that she washes out after every use. She mentions an embarresing incident where she left it hanging up to dry at her lover's place and had to go back and get it.

* In the ''Series/DegrassiJuniorHigh'' episode "The Best Laid Plans", Wheels runs the TrojanGauntlet while trying to buy condoms for a night with Stephanie. After various humiliations, he manages to buy some from a pharmacist who turns out to be Stephanie's mother, which gives the game away when he arrives at her door.

* Inverted in ''Series/{{ABitOfFryAndLaurie}}'', where a customer is extremely loud and proud to be purchasing condoms... but awfully discrete when he adds that he would also like the new single by Music/JasonDonovan.

* The song "House of Fun" by Music/{{Madness}} is made of this trope. The lyrics concern a sixteen-year-old attempting to buy his first condoms with little success. Though this is in large part because he CannotSpitItOut (and in the third verse, a NosyNeighbor has entered the shop), and instead comes out with increasingly bizarre and ridiculous euphemisms for condoms that just confuses the chemist into thinking he wants to buy some balloons.

* The song "House of Fun" by Music/{{Madness}} is made of this trope. The lyrics concern a sixteen-year-old attempting to buy his first condoms with little success. Though this is in large part because he CannotSpitItOut and instead comes out with increasingly bizarre and ridiculous euphemisms for condoms that just confuses the chemist into thinking he wants to buy some balloons.

Note that, should you ever be so lucky in real life, buying contraceptives is almost never like that these days if for no other reason than the advent of HIV & AIDS created a very strong imperative to make barrier sexual protection as widely and easily available as possible. You buy them off the shelf, and the person at the counter won't even glance twice at your purchases. (Unless, of course, you're buying ''only'' [[NoodleImplements condoms, six feet of garden hose, Vaseline, maraschino cherries, and a rubber ducky.]]) Between this and changing views on sexuality, this trope has largely become a DiscreditedTrope. However, not that long ago, it was normal for condoms to be ''behind'' the counter, so you had to ''ask'' for 'em. This was something of a rite of passage and sometimes is still considered this to a slight degree even today - the idea being that if you aren't mature enough to go and buy condoms by yourself, you aren't mature enough to be having sex either. In order to facilitate this trope (or at least its potential for [[HilarityEnsues hilarity ensuing]]) within these changing social mores, the trope may therefore be combined with ASimplePlan, in that what ''seems'' like the simple act of acquiring contraception will, through a collision of unrelated circumstances, become far more tortuous and complicated than it should be.

Compare TamponRun, which is about buying tampons instead of condoms. Often involves a CoverupPurchase.

* A sequence in ''Film/AmazonWomenOnTheMoon'' features a youth trying to buy a package of condoms. After hitting some of the usual aspects of this trope (embarrassment because the pharmacist is a family friend, etc.), the trope is spoofed when the youth is surprised by the president of the condom company coming out of hiding and informing him that he is the condom company's one-millionth customer. This "wins" him the privilege of being the condom company's public mascot for a year, at the cost of entirely spoiling his planned evening of passion.

* Explored creatively in [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1368#comic this]] ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal''. Apparently Todd ''really'' doesn't want his parents to find out.

* ''Series/{{iZombie}}: When Ravi is testing whether the zombie virus is sexually transmittable, he says the store clerk will look at you real weird when you buy every brand of condom they have.

* A man walks up to the pharmacist and whispers that he needs condoms. The pharmacist asks him what size, and when he doesn't know, gives him a board with increasingly larger holes in it, and tells him to follow in the back. The pharmacist then tells his assistant "Get me a box of extra small- no, small- no, medium cond- a box of paper towels!"\\\
A variation where the guy goes into the fitting room alone. Five minutes later, the guy comes back and asks "Forget the condoms. [[ADateWithRosiePalms How much for the board?]]"

* Not exactly this trope, but fitting well enough: [[ComicBook/TheSandman "Death Talks About Life".]] John Constantine is embarrassed to the max when Death wants him to demonstrate proper condom use on a banana...

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uj6G1C6c0uw A Levi's commercial]] directed by Creator/MichelGondry is based on the "Blind Date" urban legend (see below).

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[[quoteright:350:[[Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rsz_20081207.png]]]]

* ''Film/SummerOf42'' has one of the better examples of this, justified in that the movie takes place in TheForties and the guy trying to obtain the rubbers is 15 years old.
* The teen sex comedy ''Trojan War'' has a plot driven entirely by this trope.
* The teen sex comedy ''School Spirit'' begins with the central character running a TrojanGauntlet that ends with him dying in a car crash and coming back as a ghost.
* A hilarious sequence in the film ''All I Wanna Do'' involves the characters physically grappling with a can of contraceptive foam.

* The French social anti-AIDS ad compilation ''3,000 Scenarios to Combat a Virus'' included [[http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7h26f_la-sirene-3000-scenarios-contre-un_shortfilms a short]] where a DecemberDecemberRomance couple needs condoms, so the man goes to the pharmacy and places the condoms in a large order of all kind of things a man his age would buy. Once out, he gleefully pulls the condoms out and they walk away, the rest of the order left in a rubbish bin. A variation of the "Blind Date" joke/urban legend is also part of the compilation.

* The Tom Sharpe novel ''Literature/PorterhouseBlue'' features a particularly elaborate TrojanGauntlet that culminates in the unfortunate victim dying when a chimney full of gas-filled condoms explodes. (ItMakesSenseInContext.)

* The title character on ''Series/{{Felicity}}'' was humiliated repeatedly over the course of an entire episode over her decision to have sex with love interest Noel, including one Planned Parenthood employee's condom usage demonstration with a hilarious red plastic penis.

* Averted on ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' when J.D and Kim's offscreen inability to obtain a condom resulted in the pregnancy storyline that drove the sixth season.
* Episode 8, Season 2 of ''Series/UnbreakableKimmySchmidt'' Kimmy has to buy condoms in a convenience store.
* In an episode of ''Series/That70sShow'', Eric goes to the pharmacy to pick up some photos while his girlfriend's father is there to pick up her prescription, which he believes to be cough syrup. When the pharmacist tells him it's birth control, Eric bolts out of the store.
** In a similar and kind of {{Inverted}} example: in one episode, Kitty provides Eric with a bag of condoms, which is embarrassing. However, later Kitty and Red are planning to have sex and realize that they're out, so Red sneaks into Eric's room to take one. Eric walks in, Red is angry/embarrassed, and Eric freaks out because he incorrectly believes that Red saw his marijuana stash.
* For an unfunny example, in the pilot of ''Series/MadMen'', the gynecologist prescribing Peggy her birth control pills thoughtlessly humiliated her throughout her exam.
* On ''Series/{{Friends}}'', Monica and Rachel once had a long, hilarious scene fighting over the last condom in the bathroom while Ross and Richard awkwardly waited together outside for the two to come to an agreement.

* On ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'', the girls attempt to discreetly buy condoms, to be subjected to a loud price check everyone in the store hears.
** Fortunately, the embarrassment leads to a crowning speech of awesome.
* Inverted in a ''Series/SexAndTheCity'' where it's Miranda needing to go ''off'' birth control (due to breaking up with Steve) that causes embarrassment at her gynecologist.

* ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' devotes a Halloween episode to this one. In deference to the relatively family-friendly nature of the show, the condoms are referred to as "the stuff." So Ray buys "the stuff" to prove to Debra that he can be responsible. Brightly colored ones, to be specific. Unfortunately, before Ray gets to use them, Frank sees them in the bag on the kitchen counter and, thinking they're colorful candy, gives them to the trick-or-treaters.
* ''Series/{{Bottom}}'' does this in the first episode.
-->'''Richie:''' What kind do you want?\\
'''Eddie:''' Rubber ones.\\
''[later]''\\
'''Richie:''' Bagsy me first go with it!\\
'''Eddie:''' No, no, get two.
* One famous episode of ''Series/EastEnders'' followed Alfie Moon's attempts to procure some condoms so he could have a passionate night in with his then-girlfriend Kat Slater. [[ShaggyDogStory By the time he managed to get back with some, Kat had fallen asleep]].
* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'''s episode "The Sponge" sees Elaine's preferred method pulled off the market leaving her desperate to find whatever sponges remain in New York. This, of course, leads to the {{catchphrase}} "Spongeworthy." This gets a callback in the final episode when the pharmacist is called to testify against her and her need for birth control is made to make her sound like a loose woman rather than one taking responsibility for her reproductive health.

* A small example in ''Series/{{Chuck}}''. Chuck convinces Sarah to run away so that they can find his father. They stop at a motel and get a room with one bed. After sleeping in the same bed, they wake up and jump at one another. Just as it seems that their {{UST}} will be finally resolved... Chuck decides to play it safe and runs to the bathroom to put on the condom he keeps in his wallet. Only to find an IOU note from Morgan who has taken it. He runs outside to find a condom vending machine and gets caught by Casey, who was following them.
* ''Series/FullFrontal''. A parody of a PublicServiceAnnouncement about safe sex had a couple agreeing to do the deed, but the man doesn't have contraception. He then lists exactly how many condoms he'd have to buy just on the odd chance he'd have sex that night until the woman becomes annoyed and storms off to buy some. He then turns to the audience and says that [[SpoofAesop you can always get women to buy your condoms]].

* ''Series/{{Clueless}}:'' After a full series of him begging for it, Murray and Dionne are going to have TheirFirstTime in the series finale. He goes to get condoms, and who should wind up behind him in line than the reverend from his family's church.

* In ''Series/{{Atypical}}'', [[CasanovaWannabe Zahid]] takes [[HollywoodAutism Sam]] to the drugstore to help him buy condoms for his first sex act. Sam picks up a box of condoms, and asks the pharmacist if he can try them on and return them, gives a fact that the first condoms were made of leather, and asks if "ribbed for her pleasure" is a guaranteed statement. The clerk responds by asking them to just take the condoms.

* Website/{{Snopes}} has [[http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/blinddate.asp "The Blind Date"]] urban legend, which can be summarized as "Young man discovers the pharmacist who sold him condoms is his blind date's father."
* Steven Merchant explained how he was too embarrassed to buy condoms from a 17-year-old checkout girl during ''Radio/TheRickyGervaisShow''.

* {{Inverted}} in ''WesternAnimation/MissionHill,'' at least in term of the ages involved. Teenage Kevin is working as a cashier when his gay, adult neighbor Wally comes in. He seems nervous that Kevin's the one working there, makes awkward chitchat, and then goes outside to have a frantic discussion with his boyfriend, Gus. Gus then comes in, clearly annoyed, and asks Kevin for some condoms.

[[folder:Real Life]]
* In his {{Website/TED}} talk "Parrots, the universe and everything", Creator/DouglasAdams relates a tale about trying to buy a condom in Shanghai in 1988 so he could drop a microphone into the Yangtze River and record its sound. With a language barrier, the shopkeeper insisting the pill is better, and a dolphin involved, HilarityEnsues.
* On the less funny side, in America, at least, there are pharmacists who will refuse to fill prescriptions for the contraceptive pill and cashiers who will make buying condoms as difficult and unpleasant as they can. Some stores do still keep condoms locked up, and there's one story of a cashier asking a young woman for I.D., despite the fact there is no legal age limit to purchase condoms.
[[/folder]]

* In ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards'', Larry attempts to discreetly buy a "lubber" at a convenience store. The clerk talks him through a LongList of options before loudly announcing his order to the store in general. Hitherto unseen people appear from behind the shelves to shout "What a pervert!" before disappearing again.