History Main / NeedAHandOrAHandjob

** Kevin: "You...uh, looking for a jump?"
** Woman: "Depends on what kind you mean."
** Kevin: "The, uh, sexual kind of course--unless, uh your car's actually broken. My car's right over there"
** Woman: "What I need, I can't get from jumper cables."
** Kevin: "Well I happen to not have any."
** Woman: "Get in."

* [[http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=225/ This page]] of ''Rob and Elliot'' is a magnificent aversion.

** Similarly, in ''Discworld/NightWatch'', there is an actual seamstress who is often confused for the other type.

* This happens in ''DonQuixote''.

* Reversed in the movie ''TheHouseBunny''. The policeman asks the [[PlayboyBunny Bunny]] to "blow" and... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean well...]] she doesn't quite understand that he's trying to check her alcohol content.

* Reversed in the movie ''TheHouseBunny''. The policeman asks the [[PlayboyBunny Bunny]] to "blow" and... well... she doesn't quite understand that he's trying to check her alcohol content.

[[folder:Films -- Live Action]]

-->'''Simone:''' You looking for a good time?
-->'''Mick:''' Always looking for a good time! Name's Mick Dundee.

* ''{{Discworld}}'': Happens to men who approach the [[BandOfBrothels Guild of Seamstresses]] to have their socks darned.
** In Discworld/GuardsGuards, a naive Carrot ends up living in a house of "seamstresses" due to this sort of misunderstanding. He mentions that his first night there one of the girls asked if he wanted anything, but they had no apples, so he said no.
** Variant: In Discworld/FeetOfClay, one character mentions that she was good at sewing, so she tried to join the Guild of Seamstresses.
** Similarly, in Discworld/NightWatch, there is an actual seamstress who is often confused for the other type.
** In Discworld/ReaperMan, Windle Poons, a newly resurrected zombie, is asked by a "seamstress" if he's looking for a good time. He's somewhat addled by the fact that he can see and hear clearly for the first time in decades, and accepts her offer without thinking about it. She runs away when she gets a good look at him, though.
** In Discworld/InterestingTimes, Rincewind is approached by several beautiful, scantily-clad women who explicitly say that all of their men have died out and they need his help repopulating their island. However, due to years of living alone on a desert island, Rincewind's mind has deteriorated somewhat and he thinks they're offering to make him some mashed potatoes.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

* The inverse happens on ''{{CSI}}'', when during her evaluation [[CoolBigSis Catherine]] complains to [[TeamDad Grissom]] that because of her hours, she hasn't had sex in at least half a year. "[[ShipTease How can I help]]?" Gil asks, and has to clarify that he doesn't mean THAT kind of help when Catherine raises her eyebrow at him.
* A possible slight variation -- in ''NewTricks'', a prostitute approaches Brian and asks him if "you've got the time," in a fashion that leaves little doubt as to what she really means. Brian, however, assumes she's literally asking what the time is, and proceeds to tell her, resulting in a frustrating back and forth for the both of them until he storms off in exasperation and she gripes to one of her friends "Why can't they just ''say'' if they're gay?!"
* ''{{My Wife and Kids}}'' had a variation when the family goes to Las Vegas. Junior calls an escort service because he thought that it was a babysitter.

* A hilarious subversion of this happens to [[HandsomeLech Mateo]] in {{Benidorm}}. Mateo has to dress up in drag for a double date, and has to wait outside a bar for a few minuites. An [[DirtyHarriet undercover cop]] shows up, asking if s/he has a place to go. A lot of non-entendres later ("I have to get out of these pants" (They were itchy)), and he is promptly arrested.

* ''[[http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/archive.php?id=225/ This]]'' Rob and Elliot page is a magnificent aversion.

* ''TheSimpsons'': Subverted in the episode "The Cartridge Family". When Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Maggie to a motel because Homer is acting TriggerHappy, Bart is asked by a prostitute "are you looking for a good time?" He is (as always), but not in the manner she means, and Marge pulls him away before any [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity can Ensue]].

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** Variant: In Discworld/FeetOfClay, one character mentions that she was good at sowing, so she tried to join the Guild of Seamstresses.

* Reversed in the movie ''TheHouseBunny''. The policeman asks the [[PlayboyBunny Bunny]] to "blow" and... well... [[{{IfYouKnowWhatIMean}} she doesn't quite understand that he's trying to check her alcohol content]].

* In ''[[{{Fallout}} Fallout 3]]'', one of the joinable {{NPC}}s is Clover, an insane killer prostitute that you can own as a slave. When you strike up a conversation, she asks if she "can do anything for... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean or to]]... you." Sadly [[NoHuggingNoKissing your responses are entirely on the lines of tactics and gear management.]]

* In Discworld/InterestingTimes, Rincewind is approached by several beautiful, scantily-clad women who explicitly say that all of their men have died out and they need his help repopulating their island. However, due to years of living alone on a desert island, Rincewind's mind has deteriorated somewhat and he thinks they're offering to make him some mashed potatoes.

** Oh, and also to Rincewind in ''Discworld/InterestingTimes''. Near the beginning of the story, we find him stranded on an island when he is visited by buxom tropical women who offer to fulfil his wildest fantasies... unfortunately, being a castaway has deteriorated Rincewind's mind to the point that said fantasies apparently involve potatoes.
--->'''Rincewind:''' ''[with a "hungry, dreamy look" in his eyes]'' Really? Well... can I have them mashed?
** Another ''{{Discworld}}'' one. In ''[[Discworld/GuardsGuards Guards, Guards!]]'' Carrot manages this one as well, thinking that Mrs Palm and "her daughters" are offering him a room to rent. He takes them up on the offer, too, leaving another character pretty impressed later on when he says he sleeps at Mrs. Palm's ''every night''. At the first night, as Carrot describes a girl "woke me up once or twice to say, Do you want anything, but they had no apples." They probably couldn't bring themselves to clear up the misunderstanding. Besides, it was pretty useful to have a strong man staying in the house...
*** And this other character is dumbfounded to learn that not only does Carrot spend every night at Mrs. Palm's and think nothing of it, but he's been sent to the city ''to have a man made of him''.
** ''{{Feet of Clay}}'':
--->'''Cheery:''' I was good with sewing, so I thought I'd join the Seamstresses' Guild, but...
** Also with Sandra The Real Seamstress in ''Discworld/NightWatch'', who is prone to "frequent humorous misunderstandings" regarding the term (which can end with a large needle in someone's ear), but much in demand from men with urges that only a non-euphemistic seamstress can satisfy. A sock with no holes in the toes, for instance.
*** That doesn't explain why she hangs around on street corners at night with her knitting basket, though.
**** Being a part of a revolutionary movement probably has something to do with it.
*** For the sake of precision, we call her a 'needlewoman'.
** Windle Poons is asked if he was looking for a good time shortly after his death. Exulting in the heightened senses granted to him by his zombification after being practically deaf and partially blind for the last 30 years or so he replies enthusiastically that he is, apparently without realizing what she means. The prostitute runs away after seeing him properly, due to him being the zombie of a man who was partway through his second century when he died.
*** Actually because of his eyes - like... that dwarf who owns the delicatessen.

* Windle Poons is asked if he was looking for a good time shortly after his death. Exulting in the heightened senses granted to him by his zombification after being practically deaf and partially blind for the last 30 years or so he replies enthusiastically that he is, apparently without realizing what she means. The prostitute runs away after seeing him properly, due to him being the zombie of a man who was partway through his second century when he died.
** Actually because of his eyes - like... that dwarf who owns the delicatessen.

** Oh, and also to Rincewind in ''Discworld/InterestingTimes''. Near the beginning of the story, we find him stranded on an island when he is visited by buxom tropical women who offer him his wildest fantasies... unfortunately, being a castaway has deteriorated Rincewind's mind to the point that said fantasies apparently involve potatoes.

* In ''[[{{Fallout}} Fallout 3]]'', one of the joinable {{NPC}}s is Clover, an insane killer prostitute that you can own as a slave. When you strike up a conversation, she asks if she "can do anything for... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean or to]]... you." [[MissedMomentOfAwesome Sadly]] [[NoHuggingNoKissing your responses are entirely on the lines of tactics and gear management.]]

[[quoteright:173:[[GetMedieval http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/get_medieval06802.gif]]]]

[[GetMedieval http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/get_medieval06802.gif]]

* In the ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' episode ''The Car Pool Lane'' Larry picks up a prostitute just so he can use the high-occupancy-vehicle lane to get to Dodger stadium in time for the game. The trope is averted in the sense that it's not accidental and inverted in that it's Larry doing the asking and not the Prostitute.

* In ''IAmSam'', Sam, an autistic single father, mistakes a streetwalker's mockery for a promise to help him raise his daughter. He is then arrested for soliciting her services.

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* ''TheSimpsons'': When Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Maggie to a motel because Homer is acting TriggerHappy, Bart is asked by a prostitute "are you looking for a good time?" He is (as always), but not in the manner she means, and Marge pulls him away before any [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity can Ensue]].

* In the ''Curb Your Enthusiasm'' episode [[The Car Pool Lane]] Larry picks up a prostitute just so he can use the high-occupancy-vehicle lane to get to Dodger stadium in time for the game.

[[folder:RealLife]]
* My ex claimed back in 1986, that this had happened to him, that when a prostitute had approached him and asked if he wanted to "do some business", he'd assumed she was asking for insurance advice. Guess what he sold? I doubted the story sincerely, as it was a dark night, and she'd have had to have extremely good eyes to see the very small insurance company logo on his jumper!
** [[FridgeBrilliance Having good enough eyes to see something small in the dark would be useful for a prostitute.]]
[[/folder]]

** Actually because of his eyes - like [[strikeout gimlets]] that dwarf who owns the delicatessen.

* In ''[[{{Fallout}} Fallout 3]]'', one of the joinable {{NPC}}s is Clover, an insane killer prostitute that you can own as a slave. When you strike up a conversation, she asks if she "can do anything for... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean or to]]... you." Sadly [[NoHuggingNoKissing your responses are entirely on the lines of tactics and gear management.]]

* ''{{Discworld}}'': Happens to men who approach the Guild of Seamstresses to have their socks darned.