History Main / LysistrataGambit

-->"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them. Don’t let them explore you until they’ve explored the secret universes of books. Don’t let them connect with you until they’ve walked between the lines on the pages. Books are cool, if you have to withhold yourself from someone for a bit in order for them to realize this then do so."
* A popular feminist button reads "Just say no to sex with pro-lifers." This idea gets bandied about every time new pro-life legislation gets passed, such as Texas' recent bill banning abortion past 6 weeks. Critics usually point out that [[DidNotThinkThisThrough pro-lifers are pretty in-favor of abstinence anyways.]]

* A popular feminist button reads "Just say no to sex with pro-lifers."

* No Sugar Tonight by the Guess Who is an example of this, apparently inspired by an actual conversation between a would-be mugger and his partner when she caught him trying to mug a member of the band.

A spouse threatens to remove sex from their marriage (gasp!) to force something or as a punishment. Can also occur in the really close non-marital relationships. A more adult version of ExiledToTheCouch or IHaveBoobsYouMustObey.

Lesbians in fiction never withhold sex from each other, either because they understand each other well enough that this is unnecessary, or because [[AllWomenArePrudes women don't want sex]] and you can't withhold what you aren't having in the first place, or because doing so would [[GirlOnGirlIsHot trigger the collapse of the Internet]]. And men, of course, are [[ImAManICantHelpIt incapable of withholding sex]] (which is why withholding sex ''from'' them is so effective), so they can't try this on their women. Plus, as noted earlier, women don't even want sex in the first place, so it wouldn't work on them anyway. Well, except on cable, where the standards of drama have (only just) caught up to those of ancient Greece, where AllWomenAreLustful. Hollywood's idea of men, women and heterosexual relationships are [[ValuesDissonance peculiar compared to other times and places]].

* In an old ''[[ComicBook/ArchieComics Archie]]'' one-panel gag, this backfires on Ethel. It does help Jughead has little more than animosity toward her.

** Of course it is implied, and eventually outright stated, that Emp needs a good snuggling almost as much as her lover. In fact in later volumes it is shown that future attempts at this trope are made to even less success. She consistently cracks from the isolation ending the gambit prematurely (not that those days aren't hell on earth for Thugboy regardless).

* In a ''Manga/GunslingerGirl'' Biff & Little Britney fanfic, Triela tries this with her handler Hilshire, only to have an OhCrap moment when he calls her bluff. She quickly withdraws her threat, and instead offers 'something special' that night in exchange for his cooperation.

* In ''Film/UpTheChastityBelt'', Lurkalot and Sir Coward [[DisguisedInDrag disguise themselves as women]] and persuade Saladin's {{Bedlah Babe}}s to withhold sex from the crusaders, so that King Richard will become despondent, call off the Crusade, and return to England.

* ''Literature/TheMoonIsAHarshMistress''. The Luna rebels have trouble getting the ill-disciplined Loonies to man the defences during the long, boring wait for the Earth military to attack. Fortunately due to the chronic gender-imbalance on the Moon, women have a great deal of power and a Lysistrata Corps is formed to help with the defence. It's not mentioned whether the women promise sex or threaten to withhold it, but the next time the protagonist does an inspection he finds three female soldiers and no shortage of men.

* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'': Diane would tease Sam with the threat of this during their first romance (Season 2), whenever he was being difficult. (He would always surrender right away.) Lilith would do this to Frasier as well--''increasingly''--one episode has him begging her to ''look'' at him--as their relationship grew more stormy over the course of the show. To the point where she cheated on him.

* ''Series/FamilyMatters'': Carl was getting rather high and mighty with regards to his being the breadwinner. Harriet decided, since he was so hung up on money, that she would start charging him -- for laundry, cooking, cleaning and (yes) sex.

-->'''Michael''': We're gonna play it like this? You give me a good raise, or no more sex. ''(turns to Toby)'' What are you writing, perv-ball?\\

** Their relationship is a complete inversion of the traditional TV relationship. She outranks him (at first), she's in it for the sex, even though she knows he's a boorish idiot, because she can't help herself and he's in it because he wants a wife and kids. Given that he gets that pay raise, it seems like it worked.

* On ''Series/TheBernieMacShow'', Bernie becomes very possessive once his nieces and nephew move in, only allowing them to drink the dregs of the household's orange juice, and so on. His wife, Wanda, gives him a stern talking-to, and forbids him from having sex with her until he treats the children more hospitably.

* An ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'' episode centered around Ray discovering the "power of no", i.e. that turning Debra down when she wants sex will make her act nicer and flirtier. Debra, who consequently began to worry about her age, was not amused when she found out. Ray and Debra then decided to have a bet over which of them could go without sex longer. After a month, Ray gave in and begged her for sex. After a beat Debra responded "Are we still doing that?" (She later admitted that she did remember that, however.)

** Thankfully she's the only one like that, and in a later episode, she is told by elderly couple that things like that ruin marriages.

** There was also an episode where ''Chandler'' was withholding sex because ''Monica'' was mad at him (they were trying to have a baby, and her ovulation diary said they needed to have sex whether they wanted to or not). Monica pretended the fight was over until they'd done it, and then said it wasn't. Chandler was outraged by this, until Joey asked him if he was really complaining that he had sex.
** And another episode where Monica and Chandler get into a fight, and Chandler is so annoyed he tells her that he's 'not putting out tonight' much to Monica's annoyance. So, as examples go, they're actually one of less sexist examples.

* ''Series/StepByStep'' used this trope a ''lot'', though often {{inverted}} in that Carol was far more fond of promising lots of sex if she got her way, than she was of threatening to withhold it if she didn't.

* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'': Gender flipped in an episode where Marshall withholds sex from Lily until she starts treating Ted a little better. This is played as a ridiculous, futile gesture, in the same way that most other stories do when a man tries to withhold. [[OutOfCharacterMoment Bizarrely]], elsewhere in the show's run Lily has been portrayed as every bit as sexual as Marshall (if not more so), to the extent that she developed the shakes upon going a few ''weeks'' without.
* Subverted on ''Series/TheBrittasEmpire''. Mr Brittas's wife Helen tries witholding sex as a sign of displeasure at a proposed move to Belgium. A few weeks later she admits to a friend "it's been Hell!" for ''her'' while ''he'' hasn't even noticed.

* Lieschen in ''Music/SchweigtStillePlaudertNicht'' employs a pre-marital variation, secretly telling the potential suitors her father finds that she will only marry them if they allow her to [[MustHaveCaffeine drink coffee]], in order to get around her promise to him to give it up in exchanging for her father finding her one.

* ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', the TropeNamer, is an UnbuiltTrope version, in that it applies equally to both genders. The title character tries to end [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Peloponnesian_War the Peloponnesian War]] by getting women from ''both'' sides (Athens and Sparta, in this case) to withhold sex until peace reigns again. (Well, they also seize control of the city treasuries, but who cares about ''that''?) This is laughed at by the men: AllWomenAreLustful, so Lysistrata's sex strike shouldn't last five minutes. But the women manage to [[ValuesDissonance transcend their own base natures]], bringing the men to heel. The result? Peace throughout Greece.... Well, in RealLife the war went on for around eight more years, but it was a nice thought.

* ''VideoGame/DeerAvenger'' did this with Furries -- [[WesternAnimation/{{Bambi}} Bam]][[Franchise/{{Rambo}} bo]] is a deer whose wife told him she will not let him touch her until he get rid of all hunters in the forest. Bambo takes a gun a do this.

* In ''Webcomic/ClanOfTheCats'', Jubal threatens to withhold sex from a shape shifted Chelsea in heat when she breaks off the amulet that helps control her shape changing. It ends with him observing, "Never argue with a [=PMSing=] panther."

** Then again, given how much [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar radar-dodging]] those two indulge in, the implications might not be very G-rated at all...

It is OlderThanFeudalism; the {{Trope Namer|s}} comes from ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', a Greek comedy by Creator/{{Aristophanes}}. It was considered comically absurd at the time, due to the prevailing idea that AllWomenAreLustful. While its original implementation was more complex, it was {{Flanderiz|ation}}ed (specifically by Hollywood) as "[[DoubleStandard the woman threatens to withhold sex from her man]]".

* GenderInvertedTrope in an article called [[https://www.liveabout.com/is-your-passive-aggressive-husband-withholding-sex-1102411 Is Your Passive Aggressive Husband Withholding Sex?]]

* Gender-flipped in ''Literature/ABrothersPrice''. [[PosthumousCharacter Kiefer]] threw violent tantrums and withheld sex from his wives in order to get what he wanted, and it largely worked. [[spoiler: He also [[YourCheatingHeart cheated on them]] on those nights. With his [[BrotherSisterIncest sister]].]]

* In an old ''[[Franchise/ArchieComics Archie]]'' one-panel gag, this backfires on Ethel. It does help Jughead has little more than animosity toward her.

* ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' has another G-rated example: in season 20, an Internet {{Troll}} named [=Skankhunt42=] begins harassing all the girls at school, leading them to [[DisproportionateRetribution believe all of the boys at the school shared the troll's opinions on women]]. When the boys' attempt to find and stop the troll fail, the girls all break up with their boyfriends ''en masse'', leaving nearly every boy in school crying on the floor. By the end of the season, this situation does not change.

* ''VideoGame/DeerAvenger'' did this with Furries -- [[Disney/{{Bambi}} Bam]][[Franchise/{{Rambo}} bo]] is a deer whose wife told him she will not let him touch her until he get rid of all hunters in the forest. Bambo takes a gun a do this.

* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features somewhat of a G-rated example of this when Cadence says that while she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadence doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him reconciling with his sister.

* Wiki/{{Wikipedia{{ has a compilation of some influential ones [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_strike listed under "Sex Strike"]].

** They also pulled this in 1992, using an uglier picture with the caption "THIS IS WHAT PAGE 3 WILL LOOK LIKE IF KINNOCK WINS". Neil Kinnock and his Labour Party lost, but despite ''The Sun''[='=]s bragging it's hard to tell whether they really were "wot won it".

It is OlderThanFeudalism; the TropeNamer comes from ''Theatre/{{Lysistrata}}'', a Greek comedy by Creator/{{Aristophanes}}. It was considered comically absurd at the time, due to the prevailing idea that AllWomenAreLustful. While its original implementation was more complex, it was {{Flanderized}} (specifically by Hollywood) as "[[DoubleStandard the woman threatens to withhold sex from her man]]".

* Wiki/ThatOtherWiki has a compilation of some influential ones [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_strike listed under "Sex Strike"]].

* [[http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/regions/09/15/11/womens-sex-strike-ends-fighting-mindanao-villages-unchr This 2011 one actually ended armed conflict between 2 villages in the Philippines.]]

* During the Vietnam War: "Girls say yes to boys who say no" (to entering the draft).

* Bill Engvall brought this up in one of his routines. He says that "women are like camels" and while they don't ''like'' going without sex for long periods of time, they're still capable of it. As opposed to men who...aren't.
* After their football team got off to an 0-4 start in 2010, New Mexico State University started distributing propaganda urging the female students to refrain from having sex with members of the football team until they earned their first win. They won the very next game.
* Something similar happened in relation to the 2010 UK general election. Namely, [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers The Sun]], famous for its [[PageThreeStunna pictures of topless women on Page 3]], threatened to stop putting them in if the Conservative Party lost. Whether or not this had an effect on the results we shall never know.
** They also pulled this in 1992, using an uglier picture with the caption "THIS IS WHAT PAGE 3 WILL LOOK LIKE IF KINNOCK WINS". Kinnock lost, but despite ''The Sun'''s bragging it's hard to tell whether they really were "wot won it".
* An inconclusive election in June 2010 and deep divisions over regional and linguistic matters led to UsefulNotes/{{Belgium}} taking ''540 days'' to form a government, finally obtaining one in December 2011. During the endless negotiations, one group encouraged MP's wives to use this tactic to break the deadlock after Belgium surpassed Iraq's then-record of 249 days without a government.
* This was a factor in UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush's decision to quit alcohol. It tends to not get mentioned much, partly because his status as a Born Again Christian is the ostensible reason for quitting his alcoholism.

* According to some versions of her story, a young Ukrainian woman named [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roxelana Roxelana]] allegedly became sole legitimate wife of an Ottoman sultan that way. As his favorite harem girl, she managed to cajole him into making her a free woman again; however, according to Ottoman law, a man couldn't sleep with a free woman who wasn't his wife, so she refused him until he agreed to her terms. The name of the sultan? '''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suleiman_the_Magnificent Suleiman I]] TheMagnificent'''
* In the middle of a highly charged debate about abortions and mandatory ultrasounds. Virginia Rep. David Alpo jokingly [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRyRSlammXI&feature=player_embedded complained that his wife wouldn't have sex with him.]]

** On the other hand, Dee Snider of Twisted Sister said the opposite, that the only way that Tipper Gore and company were able to get as far as they did was because, while they were whispering in their ears, their hands were elsewhere.
* [[http://grist.org/list/colombian-women-successfully-withheld-sex-to-get-their-road-fixed/ Some women in Colombia]] refused to have sex until a badly kept road was repaired.

* GenderFlipped in an article called [[https://www.liveabout.com/is-your-passive-aggressive-husband-withholding-sex-1102411 Is Your Passive Aggressive Husband Withholding Sex?]]

* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features somewhat of a G-rated example of this when Cadence says that while she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadence doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him making amends with his sister.

* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features somewhat of a G-rated example of this when Cadence says that she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, but says that he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadence doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him making amends with his sister.

* ''Literature/TheMoonIsAHarshMistress''. The Luna rebels have trouble getting the ill-disciplined Loonies to man the defences during the long, boring wait for the Earth military to attack. Fortunately due to the chronic gender-imbalance on the Moon, women have a great deal of power and a Lysistrata Corps is formed to help with the defence. It's not mentioned whether the women promise sex or threaten to withhold it, but the next time the protagonist does an inspection he finds a [[TheSquadette solitary female rebel]] and the guns fully manned by the remaining men.

* ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'' features somewhat of a G-rated example of this when Cadence says that she can forgive Shining Armor for his mistakes, but says that he should [[MustMakeAmends reconcile with Twilight]] before they try to get married again. While Cadence doesn't mean this as an ultimatum, Shining interprets it as such. In his mind, it means that his relationship with the mare he loves now hinges on him making amends with his sister.

* In ''Film/UpTheChastityBelt'', Lurkalot and Sir Coward [[DisguisedInDrag disguise themselves as women]] and persuade Saladin's {{Bedlah Babes}}s to withhold sex from the crusaders, so that King Richard will becomes despondent, ball off the Crusade, and return to England.