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** Part of the plot of ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'' is that the lead, [[TheHero Luke]] [[ShelteredAristocrat fon Fabre]] got IdentityAmnesia as a result of being kidnapped seven years ago. His fiancee Natalia is desperate for him to remember their ChildhoodMarriagePromise and focuses on that over everything else, including the fact Luke finds her [[AbhorrentAdmirer annoying]]. [[spoiler:It gets more complicated when TheReveal comes out.]] Natalia's CharacterDevelopment, thus, nearly entirely revolves around her moving past this trope.
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** Part of the plot of ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'' is that the lead, [[TheHero Luke]] [[ShelteredAristocrat fon Fabre]] got IdentityAmnesia as a result of being kidnapped seven years ago. His fiancee Natalia is desperate for him to remember their ChildhoodMarriagePromise and focuses on that over everything else, including the fact Luke finds her [[AbhorrentAdmirer annoying]]. [[spoiler:It gets more complicated [[spoiler:This all makes sense when TheReveal comes out.]] out: Luke is actually a clone and Natalia was in love with the original, meaning he wasn't even the one she made the promise to]]. Natalia's CharacterDevelopment, thus, nearly entirely revolves around her moving past this trope.
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* ''Literature/{{Inkmistress}}'': The girl Asra believed Ina to be doesn't really exist. Ina doesn't really love her, and never did. She had used Asra (and Garen) just for her social advancement.
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*''Manga/HonooNoAlpenRose'': [[spoiler: The evil Count's first and eternal love was a girl named Hélène. He chases Jeudi around because she's identical to her (and is her child but he doesn't know it), so she reminds him of the woman he loved but couldn't have.]]
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* ''Literature/TheShadowsBetweenUs'': [[spoiler:[[BigBadFriend Leandros/Xanthos]] freely admits that he was never really in love with Alessandra once his cover is blown. He just wanted her because she was his brother's, and he wanted everything his brother had]].
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* In K.A. Knaak's ''Literature/{{Dragonrealm}}'', Gwendolyn originally falls for Cabe Bedlam because of his similarities with his grandfather Nathan, who was once her lover; but later she falls for all those peculiarities that make Cabe himself.
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* In K.R.A. Knaak's ''Literature/{{Dragonrealm}}'', Gwendolyn originally falls for Cabe Bedlam because of his similarities with his grandfather Nathan, who was once her lover; but later she falls for all those peculiarities that make Cabe himself.
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* A platonic version in ''[[Literature/TheMoomins Moominvalley in November]]'', where Toft slowly realises that his love and admiration for Moominmamma (who he's never met) as the ideal of a perfect mother is this, and the real Moominmamma is a person with emotions and flaws like anyone else. He still decides to wait for her return and meet her in person.
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[[caption-width-right:300:"Play [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} me]] Chopin. He died before I could know him, and so he remains beautiful."]]
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[[caption-width-right:300:"Play [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} me]] Chopin. He [[Music/FryderykChopin He]] died before I could know him, and so he remains beautiful."]]
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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Arcane}}'' has a more familial example: [[spoiler:What ultimately causes Jinx to embrace being Jinx is that her older sister Vi loves who she used to be as [[TagAlongKid Powder]] and not who she [[MadBomber currently is]], making her decide that compared to Vi unconditionally loving her when they were children, the Vi of the present can't love her unless Jinx goes back to the way she used to be, which she cannot.]]
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* ''WesternAnimation/{{Arcane}}'' has a more familial example: [[spoiler:What ultimately causes Jinx to embrace being Jinx is that her older sister Vi [[Characters/ArcaneVi Vi]] loves who she used to be as [[TagAlongKid Powder]] and not who she [[MadBomber currently is]], making her decide that compared to Vi unconditionally loving her when they were children, the Vi of the present can't love her unless Jinx goes back to the way she used to be, which she cannot.]]
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* The titular character from ''WesternAnimation/BoJackHorseman'' does this to basically everybody who is nice to him or helps him to focus, he tends to over-idealize someone and ignore their flaws as long as they are by his side, often ignoring to even getting to know them properly. This is particularly done to Charlotte, a doe he met 20 years before the series starts a few times who was his best friend's girlfriend at the time, who left to go to Maine. He never really got to know her deeply, but grows to believe she is his last chance to happiness and wonder WhatCouldHaveBeen. This is ultimately thrown in his face when [[spoiler:he goes to find her in New Mexico, just to find out she is a HappilyMarried mother of two. When he finally declares himself, she {{Lampshades}} this: they never were really close, they never got to know much about each other, and they haven't seen each other in 20 years, so why would she choose him over her family?]]
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* [[Characters/BojackHorsemanBojackHorseman The titular character character]] from ''WesternAnimation/BoJackHorseman'' does this to basically everybody who is nice to him or helps him to focus, he tends to over-idealize someone and ignore their flaws as long as they are by his side, often ignoring to even getting to know them properly. This is particularly done to Charlotte, a doe he met 20 years before the series starts a few times who was his best friend's girlfriend at the time, who left to go to Maine. He never really got to know her deeply, but grows to believe she is his last chance to happiness and wonder WhatCouldHaveBeen. This is ultimately thrown in his face when [[spoiler:he goes to find her in New Mexico, just to find out she is a HappilyMarried mother of two. When he finally declares himself, she {{Lampshades}} this: they never were really close, they never got to know much about each other, and they haven't seen each other in 20 years, so why would she choose him over her family?]]
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* ''WesternAnimation/HarleyQuinn2019'': What attracted Harley to the Joker was envisioning him as a man traumatized by an abusive childhood and who needed her for love and comfort. It's until after her relationship with him ends that Harley learns the story Joker told her about his father beating him wasn't even his [[spoiler:but Ivy's. Soon after that, Harley realizes Ivy is the one she truly loves.]]
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* ''WesternAnimation/HarleyQuinn2019'': What attracted [[Characters/HarleyQuinn2019TheCharacter Harley Quinn]] to the Joker was envisioning him as a man traumatized by an abusive childhood and who needed her for love and comfort. It's until after her relationship with him ends that Harley learns the story Joker told her about his father beating him wasn't even his [[spoiler:but Ivy's. Soon after that, Harley realizes Ivy is the one she truly loves.]]
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** In the early episodes, [[OnlySaneMan Arnold]] had a crush on an older girl named Ruth [=McDougal=]. [[SatelliteLoveInterest She never really became an active player on the show]]; Arnold simply admired her from afar. In the Valentine's Day episode, he finally has a chance to talk to her and realizes that she's kind of a BrainlessBeauty, making him lose interest.
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** In the early episodes, [[OnlySaneMan Arnold]] [[Characters/HeyArnoldArnoldShortman Arnold Shortman]] had a crush on an older girl named Ruth [=McDougal=]. [[SatelliteLoveInterest She never really became an active player on the show]]; Arnold simply admired her from afar. In the Valentine's Day episode, he finally has a chance to talk to her and realizes that she's kind of a BrainlessBeauty, making him lose interest.
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* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': In "Sleepover", Marco admits that he's unsure about whether he has a crush on Jackie because of who she is as a person, or because he has put her on a pedestal in his mind.
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* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': In "Sleepover", [[Characters/StarVsTheForcesOfEvilMarcoDiaz Marco Diaz]] admits that he's unsure about whether he has a crush on Jackie because of who she is as a person, or because he has put her on a pedestal in his mind.
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** Greg is clearly in love with Rose Quartz, a [[MayflyDecemberRomance nigh-immortal]] humanoid alien. However (as shown by the WholeEpisodeFlashback "We Need to Talk"), early in their relationship, he realizes that she can't tell the difference between ''[[IntriguedByHumanity loving humans]]'' and ''being in love with a human'', and becomes concerned about whether her affection for him is one or the other. Rose, for her part, may not even be aware that there ''is'' a difference until Greg confronts her about it, which marks a turning point in both their relationship and Rose's own CharacterDevelopment.
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** [[Characters/StevenUniverseGregUniverse Greg Universe]] is clearly in love with [[Characters/StevenUniverseRoseQuartz Rose Quartz, Quartz]], a [[MayflyDecemberRomance nigh-immortal]] humanoid alien. However (as shown by the WholeEpisodeFlashback "We Need to Talk"), early in their relationship, he realizes that she can't tell the difference between ''[[IntriguedByHumanity loving humans]]'' and ''being in love with a human'', and becomes concerned about whether her affection for him is one or the other. Rose, for her part, may not even be aware that there ''is'' a difference until Greg confronts her about it, which marks a turning point in both their relationship and Rose's own CharacterDevelopment.
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* ''WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug'': While [[TheSociopath Lila]] appears to [[BelievingTheirOwnLies believe]] that her feelings for [[TheLancer Adrien]] are genuine, it's heavily indicated that she's more interested in the ''idea'' of Adrien -- namely, a [[LonelyRichKid wealthy]] and [[BigManOnCampus popular]] PrettyBoy who she can turn into the perfect doting boyfriend -- than in [[BrokenAce the reality of]] [[StepfordSmiler Adrien as a person]], and reacts badly when Adrien says or does anything to break her illusion, as best seen in "Chameleon" (she accuses him of being self-righteous in his attempt to befriend her despite knowing she's a compulsive liar). By contrast, [[TheHero Marinette]] and [[DefrostingIceQueen Kagami]] were both won over [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe by his kindness]], and even [[AlphaBitch Chloé]] has known him since childhood -- all three of them, to varying extents, know the ''real'' Adrien far better than Lila would even want to.
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* ''WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug'': While [[TheSociopath Lila]] [[Characters/MiraculousLadybugLilaRossi Lila Rossi]] appears to [[BelievingTheirOwnLies believe]] that her feelings for [[TheLancer Adrien]] are genuine, it's heavily indicated that she's more interested in the ''idea'' of Adrien -- namely, a [[LonelyRichKid wealthy]] and [[BigManOnCampus popular]] PrettyBoy who she can turn into the perfect doting boyfriend -- than in [[BrokenAce the reality of]] [[StepfordSmiler Adrien as a person]], and reacts badly when Adrien says or does anything to break her illusion, as best seen in "Chameleon" (she accuses him of being self-righteous in his attempt to befriend her despite knowing she's a compulsive liar). By contrast, [[TheHero Marinette]] and [[DefrostingIceQueen Kagami]] were both won over [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe by his kindness]], and even [[AlphaBitch Chloé]] has known him since childhood -- all three of them, to varying extents, know the ''real'' Adrien far better than Lila would even want to.
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** The episode “Kuro Neko” heavily implies that even Marinette herself isn’t immune to this, at least not entirely. [[spoiler:Adrien has to use a new persona for his superhero identity and replaces the carefree jokey Cat Noir for a more serious, professional Catwalker. Ladybug is so smitten with this version of him that she [[DistractedByTheSexy can’t even focus on the job]] with him around. The problem is that “Catwalker” is more of an exaggerated version of the PurityPersonified mask that he wears in public than an actual person, so essentially, Ladybug is more in love with an ideal version of her partner (which is basically Adrien to the max) than she is with Adrien’s real self.]]
* For a non-romantic version, Shadow Weaver's twisted, manipulative pseudo-parental affection for Adora in ''WesternAnimation/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPower'' largely ignores what Adora is actually like. In "Shadows of Mystacor", Shadow Weaver insists that Adora is a cunning, ruthless, cutthroat warrior who belongs with the Horde, while the ''actual'' Adora is TheHero for a very good reason. Inverted in grimly ironic fashion with Catra, where it's more like ''Despising'' A Shadow; Catra ''actually is'' the cunning and ruthless person Shadow Weaver thinks Adora is, but Shadow Weaver is focused entirely on building up Adora and she can't see Catra as anything other than a wastrel who exists solely to drag Adora down.
* For a non-romantic version, Shadow Weaver's twisted, manipulative pseudo-parental affection for Adora in ''WesternAnimation/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPower'' largely ignores what Adora is actually like. In "Shadows of Mystacor", Shadow Weaver insists that Adora is a cunning, ruthless, cutthroat warrior who belongs with the Horde, while the ''actual'' Adora is TheHero for a very good reason. Inverted in grimly ironic fashion with Catra, where it's more like ''Despising'' A Shadow; Catra ''actually is'' the cunning and ruthless person Shadow Weaver thinks Adora is, but Shadow Weaver is focused entirely on building up Adora and she can't see Catra as anything other than a wastrel who exists solely to drag Adora down.
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** The episode “Kuro Neko” heavily implies that even [[Characters/MiraculousLadybugMarinetteDupainCheng Marinette Dupain-Cheng]] herself isn’t immune to this, at least not entirely. [[spoiler:Adrien has to use a new persona for his superhero identity and replaces the carefree jokey Cat Noir for a more serious, professional Catwalker. Ladybug is so smitten with this version of him that she [[DistractedByTheSexy can’t even focus on the job]] with him around. The problem is that “Catwalker” is more of an exaggerated version of the PurityPersonified mask that he wears in public than an actual person, so essentially, Ladybug is more in love with an ideal version of her partner (which is basically Adrien to the max) than she is with Adrien’s real self.]]
* For a non-romantic version, [[Characters/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPowerShadowWeaver ShadowWeaver's Weaver's]] twisted, manipulative pseudo-parental affection for Adora in ''WesternAnimation/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPower'' largely ignores what Adora is actually like. In "Shadows of Mystacor", Shadow Weaver insists that Adora is a cunning, ruthless, cutthroat warrior who belongs with the Horde, while the ''actual'' Adora is TheHero for a very good reason. Inverted in grimly ironic fashion with Catra, where it's more like ''Despising'' A Shadow; Catra ''actually is'' the cunning and ruthless person Shadow Weaver thinks Adora is, but Shadow Weaver is focused entirely on building up Adora and she can't see Catra as anything other than a wastrel who exists solely to drag Adora down.
* For a non-romantic version, [[Characters/SheRaAndThePrincessesOfPowerShadowWeaver Shadow
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* ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'' plays a platonic version of this for horror. [[spoiler:Philip Wittebane used to have an older brother named Caleb, [[SiblingMurder who he murdered]] for [[FantasticRacism falling in love and having a child with a witch]]. The [[ExpendableClone Grimwalkers]] -- of which Hunter is the latest iteration -- are his attempts at [[ReplacementGoldfish creating a "better version" of his brother]] that would serve as his right hand man during his rise to power as Emperor Belos. However, all Belos wants from Hunter is complete obedience and subservience, which he cultivates through manipulation and abuse, meaning that the moments where Hunter acts most like Caleb are the moments where he's ''not'' around Belos. WordOfGod clarified that "Caleb" has been reduced to an abstract concept in Belos's mind, and he cares so little about Hunter's actual wellbeing that when Hunter discovers that he's a clone and brokenly asks Belos what happened to the previous ones, Belos tries to kill him on the spot, and later tells Luz that he'll have to make another one thanks to her.]]
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* ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'' plays a platonic version of this for horror. [[spoiler:Philip Wittebane [[spoiler: [[Characters/TheOwlHouseEmperorBelos Philip Wittebane]] used to have an older brother named Caleb, [[SiblingMurder who he murdered]] for [[FantasticRacism falling in love and having a child with a witch]]. The [[ExpendableClone Grimwalkers]] -- of which Hunter is the latest iteration -- are his attempts at [[ReplacementGoldfish creating a "better version" of his brother]] that would serve as his right hand man during his rise to power as Emperor Belos. However, all Belos wants from Hunter is complete obedience and subservience, which he cultivates through manipulation and abuse, meaning that the moments where Hunter acts most like Caleb are the moments where he's ''not'' around Belos. WordOfGod clarified that "Caleb" has been reduced to an abstract concept in Belos's mind, and he cares so little about Hunter's actual wellbeing that when Hunter discovers that he's a clone and brokenly asks Belos what happened to the previous ones, Belos tries to kill him on the spot, and later tells Luz that he'll have to make another one thanks to her.]]
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* ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/37929937/chapters/94724401 It Wasn't A Kindness]]'': Sasuke eventually realizes that this lies at the root of the Uchiha clan's problems. Itachi fervantly believes in the idealized concept of Konohagakure, to the point that Sasuke outright calls him a zealot, worshipping everything the Hidden Village of the Leaf supposedly stands for. Fugaku is more aware of Konoha's darker aspects, yet also covets it as a symbol of what the Uchiha clan has built, refusing to give up on his dreams of becoming Hokage and seeing his clan treated with the respect he feels they deserve rather than distrust and disdain. Upon realizing this, Sasuke decides to solve the problem by [[spoiler:destroying Konoha, driving everyone who lives there away, ''including'' the Uchiha]].
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* ''Fanfic/TheKingNobodyWanted'': During one of her chapters, Lyanna mentally lashes out at a vision she experiences of the deceased Robert, accusing him of never having truly seen ''her'' as her own person, merely having held her up in his mind as an amalgamation of various fairytale princesses, his own late mother, and a female version of her brother/his best friend.
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* ''Manga/BlackLagoon'': [[spoiler: Fabiola calls out Revy on this, realizing that she’s so fiercely protective of Rock because she secretly believes Rock to be gentle, innocent, kind, and bright; in other words, the complete opposite of Revy, and that she admires him for it. Fabiola theorizes that Revy wants to protect Rock because she sees him as a bright contrast to the hellhole that is Roanapur, a way out of the darkness she lives in. But, by doing so, Revy prevents herself from seeing Rock for who he truly is, for seeing that he actually ''has'' a dark side. While Revy just shrugs off Fabiola’s words, a little while after this conversation, Revy admits that there’s some truth to them, namely that life in Roanapur is ''changing'' Rock, and [[SlowlySlippingIntoEvil not for the better.]] Revy herself even points this out to Rock.]]
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!!!''VideoGame/MonsterProm''
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!!!''Franchise/MyHeroAcademia''
!!!''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''
!!!''Franchise/{{Naruto}}''
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** Sakura realizes early on that she'd fallen into this with Sasuke; after [[ForWantOfANail getting paired off for a training match]] at the Academy, Sasuke gets upset at her managing a CurbStompCushion and declares that civilian-born shinobi are nothing more than glorified CannonFodder. This sparks her recognizing that he's an ArrogantKungFuGuy, and her crush on him soon dissipates.
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** Sakura realizes early on that she'd fallen into this with Sasuke; after [[ForWantOfANail [[PointOfDivergence getting paired off for a training match]] at the Academy, Sasuke gets upset at her managing a CurbStompCushion and declares that civilian-born shinobi are nothing more than glorified CannonFodder. This sparks her recognizing that he's an ArrogantKungFuGuy, and her crush on him soon dissipates.
!!!''Franchise/NeonGenesisEvangelion''
!!!''Franchise/{{Persona}}''
!!!''Manga/PandoraHearts''
!!!''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}''
!!!''Franchise/PowerRangers''
!!!''WebAnimation/{{RWBY}}''
!!!''Literature/TheScumVillainsSelfSavingSystemRenZhaFanpaiZijiuXitong''
!!!''Literature/{{Slayers}}''
!!!''Franchise/ASongOfIceAndFire''
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* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/46318249/chapters/116615050 What If...? Catelyn Tully]]'', Catelyn, in a moment of rage after an argument she had with Ned over Jon, makes a wish that Ned's brother Brandon, to whom she was originally betrothed and courted by, didn't die. She then wakes up in her childhood bedroom as her younger self in an alternate timeline where [[ForWantOfANail the Mad King Aerys II died earlier on]], allowing Rhaegar to become king and avoid the events that led to Brandon's death and Robert's Rebellion. She's initially ecstatic, only to quickly [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor realize she didn't really know Brandon all that well]] outside of their brief meetings, with things rapidly degrading into an AwfulWeddedLife.
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* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/46318249/chapters/116615050 What If...? Catelyn Tully]]'', Catelyn, in a moment of rage after an argument she had with Ned over Jon, makes a wish that Ned's brother Brandon, to whom she was originally betrothed and courted by, didn't die. She then wakes up in her childhood bedroom as her younger self in an alternate timeline where [[ForWantOfANail [[PointOfDivergence the Mad King Aerys II died earlier on]], allowing Rhaegar to become king and avoid the events that led to Brandon's death and Robert's Rebellion. She's initially ecstatic, only to quickly [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor realize she didn't really know Brandon all that well]] outside of their brief meetings, with things rapidly degrading into an AwfulWeddedLife.
!!!''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama''
!!!''Franchise/{{Transformers}}''
!!!''Manga/TsubasaReservoirChronicle''
!!!''Theatre/{{Wicked}}''
!!!''Franchise/YuGiOh''
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* Non-romantic example in ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory4'': Gabby Gabby is an antique doll who was never played with because she was defective right out of the box. She eventually ended up in an antiques store and became fixated on the store owner's granddaughter Harmony, probably because she looked like the little girl in the storybook she was sold with and was the only kid she saw regularly. She believed Harmony was the perfect owner [[spoiler:although she’s shown to be fairly careless and probably a little spoiled as her grandma let her take whatever toy she wanted from the store free of charge]], and her driving motivation is to replace her faulty voice box so she can finally be with Harmony. When she actually does manage to get Woody’s voice box [[spoiler:Harmony casually tosses her aside, leaving her devastated. Fortunately she finds a child who appreciates her soon after]].
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* Non-romantic example in ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory4'': Gabby Gabby is an antique doll who was never played with because she was defective right out of the box. She eventually ended up in an antiques store and became fixated on the store owner's granddaughter Harmony, probably because she looked like the little girl in the storybook she was sold with and was the only kid she saw regularly. She believed Harmony was the perfect owner [[spoiler:although she’s shown to be fairly careless and probably a little spoiled as her grandma let her take whatever toy she wanted from the store free of charge]], and her driving motivation is to replace her faulty voice box so she can finally be with Harmony. When she actually does manage to get Woody’s Woody's voice box [[spoiler:Harmony casually tosses her aside, leaving her devastated. Fortunately she finds a child who appreciates her soon after]].
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* ''ComicBook/AnyasGhost'': Like many typical teenage girls, Anya is infatuated with the BigManOnCampus, Sean, a handsome and popular sports star, and seeks Emily’s help to win him for herself. However, her infatuation vanishes when she discovers that the guy she has been pining for is [[spoiler: a ManipulativeBastard who preys on his girlfriend’s insecurities so he can cheat on her constantly with her knowledge and even her help]].
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* ''ComicBook/AnyasGhost'': Like many typical teenage girls, Anya is infatuated with the BigManOnCampus, Sean, a handsome and popular sports star, and seeks Emily’s help to win him for herself. However, her infatuation vanishes when she discovers that the guy she has been pining for is [[spoiler: a [[spoiler:a ManipulativeBastard who preys on his girlfriend’s girlfriend's insecurities so he can cheat on her constantly with her knowledge and even her help]].
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!!!{{Crossover}}s
!!!''Franchise/{{Arrowverse}}''
!!!''Anime/CrossAnge''
!!!''Franchise/DanganRonpa''
!!!''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom''
!!!''Franchise/DCAnimatedUniverse''
!!!''Franchise/{{Disgaea}}''
!!!''Franchise/DisneyAnimatedCanon''
!!!''Franchise/DonkeyKong''
!!!''Franchise/DragonAge''
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* ''Fanfic/TheSaviorKingTheMasterTacticianAndTheQueenOfLiberation'': Edelgard’s canonical crush with Byleth is reimagined as this. When [[spoiler:Thales]] offhandedly mentions that Byleth is in a relationship with [[{{Polyamory}} Claude and Dimitri]], she’s left devastated by the revelation. However, Edelgard has shown to be someone who disregards any kind of dissenting opinion, including Byleth's, and as a result; her connection with her is flimsy compared to Byleth’s connection to both Claude and Dimitri. Her heartbreak also has elements of [[EntitledToHaveYou entitlement]]; essentially, she “loves” Byleth, but she doesn’t truly know her in any meaningful way.
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!!!''Franchise/FireEmblem''
* ''Fanfic/TheSaviorKingTheMasterTacticianAndTheQueenOfLiberation'':
!!!''Literature/GoodOmens''
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!!!''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls''
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!!!''Franchise/HarryPotter''
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* ''Webcomic/DadVillainAU'': Both Adrien and Nathalie are struck by this:
** Adrien believed that his mother was a practically ideal parent who doted upon him, and that his father, while simultaneously [[ParentalNeglect neglectful]] and [[ControlFreak controlling]], was "better before" her disappearance. After Gabriel [[RealityWarpingIsNotAToy rewrites reality]] with his [[TheBadGuyWins selfish Wish]], Adrien is left with WistfulAmnesia of the original timeline and gradually comes to realize that not only is his father responsible for a ''lot'' of pain and suffering, but Emelie is [[ItsAllAboutMe just as self-absorbed]] and {{abusive|Parents}} in her own fashion, intentionally ''aiming'' to make her son completely dependent upon her.
** Nathalie, meanwhile, has been crushing on Emelie for ''ages'', and fell for Gabriel in the original timeline due to his devotion and determination to get Emelie back at any cost. While she [[LaserGuidedAmnesia doesn't recall the the first go-round]], she gradually realizes that Emelie has been using her crush to manipulate and string her along.
** Adrien believed that his mother was a practically ideal parent who doted upon him, and that his father, while simultaneously [[ParentalNeglect neglectful]] and [[ControlFreak controlling]], was "better before" her disappearance. After Gabriel [[RealityWarpingIsNotAToy rewrites reality]] with his [[TheBadGuyWins selfish Wish]], Adrien is left with WistfulAmnesia of the original timeline and gradually comes to realize that not only is his father responsible for a ''lot'' of pain and suffering, but Emelie is [[ItsAllAboutMe just as self-absorbed]] and {{abusive|Parents}} in her own fashion, intentionally ''aiming'' to make her son completely dependent upon her.
** Nathalie, meanwhile, has been crushing on Emelie for ''ages'', and fell for Gabriel in the original timeline due to his devotion and determination to get Emelie back at any cost. While she [[LaserGuidedAmnesia doesn't recall the the first go-round]], she gradually realizes that Emelie has been using her crush to manipulate and string her along.
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!!!''VideoGame/MonsterProm''
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** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomLost Lost]]'', Johnathan admits that his love for Stella blinded him to how she was nothing more than a self-absorbed RichBitch until it was too late.
** ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]'': Poindexter had a crush on one of his classmates, but didn't know anything about her. He's surprised to learn that she became a race car driver, and that she married somebody who used to be a "tinkerer" rather than a football star like he'd assumed.
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]'', Meilin calls out Shi on this, declaring that she'll no longer be "the shadow he loves".
** ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]'': Poindexter had a crush on one of his classmates, but didn't know anything about her. He's surprised to learn that she became a race car driver, and that she married somebody who used to be a "tinkerer" rather than a football star like he'd assumed.
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]'', Meilin calls out Shi on this, declaring that she'll no longer be "the shadow he loves".
to:
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomLost Lost]]'', Johnathan admits that his love for Stella blinded him to how she was nothing more than still a self-absorbed RichBitch until it was too late.
**''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]'': In "[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]", Poindexter had a crush on one of his classmates, but didn't know anything about her.her other than being a typical AlphaBitch. He's surprised to learn that she became a race car driver, and that she married somebody who used to be a "tinkerer" rather than a football star like he'd assumed.
** In''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]'', "[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]", Meilin calls out Shi on this, declaring that she'll no longer be "the shadow he loves".
**
** In
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* ''Series/SpecialOpsLioness'': Cruz obliquely tries to tell Aaliyah, who's fallen in love with her, that she doesn't really know her at all, as Cruz's an undercover operative sent to kill Aaliyah's father.
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!!Example subpages:
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* LovingAShadow/AnimeAndManga
* LovingAShadow/FanWorks
* LovingAShadow/{{Literature}}
* LovingAShadow/LiveActionTV
* LovingAShadow/VideoGames
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!!Other examples:
[[index]]
* LovingAShadow/AnimeAndManga
* LovingAShadow/FanWorks
* LovingAShadow/{{Literature}}
* LovingAShadow/LiveActionTV
* LovingAShadow/VideoGames
[[/index]]
!!Other examples:
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[[index]]
* LovingAShadow/AnimeAndManga
* LovingAShadow/FanWorks
* LovingAShadow/{{Literature}}
* LovingAShadow/LiveActionTV
* LovingAShadow/VideoGames
[[/index]]
!!Other examples:
[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
* ''Anime/FiveCentimetersPerSecond'': In Chapter 3, Takaki is no longer in love with Akari herself, but rather with the idea of Akari. All the things he is longing for are not physical but abstract things that he cannot grasp, which is why he finds it so difficult to find any way to resolve his longing. He's made efforts to move on, as evidenced by his relationship with his new girlfriend Risa, but he's as distant with her as he is with everyone else.
* ''Anime/{{Aggretsuko}}'':
** In the Season 1 finale, [[spoiler:Retsuko finally realizes that she doesn't love Resasuke, but rather the super-idealized version of him that only exists in her head and she breaks off her relationship with him. In the same episode, Retsuko's coworker Haida confesses his crush on her, but also admits that, despite this, he doesn't really know her that well. However, he decides to rectify this by actually getting to know her.]]
** In Season 3, Haida's DoggedNiceGuy tendencies towards Retsuko are painfully deconstructed as everyone in his life calls him an idiot for still going after her when he barely knows her and has another girl who actually cares for him, [[spoiler: including Retsuko herself who gives him a ReasonYouSuckSpeech in the season finale for expecting her to get over her trauma and return to the real world just to [[EntitledToHaveYou accommodate his feelings.]]]]
* ''Manga/Area88'': In the manga and OVA, Ryoko's obsession with Shin falls into this category. She idealizes Shin and is enamored with the idea of being in love. However, she fails to understand how he thinks, what motivates him, or how his time at Area 88 has affected him. For this reason, she's completely blindsided when [[spoiler:he abandons her]] in both continuities.
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'': While she never confesses her feelings, Kaorin's crush on Sakaki is based entirely on Sakaki's superficial qualities, admiring her coolness as an AloofDarkHairedGirl and AcademicAthlete. What Kaorin doesn't realize is that Sakaki is actually a ShrinkingViolet and a KindheartedCatLover, and her image as cool and rugged comes entirely from people misinterpreting her intimidating looks and lack of social skills.
* ''Manga/BlackCat'': This happened to Creed's worship of Train in the anime. After Train defeats him, he suddenly does a HeelFaceTurn and no longer has any reaction or romantic obsession with him, even [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds getting together with Echidna]]. This never happened in the manga, where Creed [[VillainousBreakdown goes into a catatonic state of shock]] and is never shown getting over Train. Rather ironic, considering that the anime made Creed more [[StalkerWithACrush pervertedly obsessed with Train]] than in the manga, making this an even less justified trope.
* Subverted in ''Manga/BloomIntoYou''. Sayaka admits that she fell in love with Touko at first sight, based largely on Touko's beauty and the fact that Touko had managed to outdo her on the Toomi East entrance exam. Over time, though, Sayaka came to realize that Touko is quite vulnerable under her façade ([[SecretSecretKeeper although Touko didn't initially realize that Sayaka knew]]), but rather than be disappointed, Sayaka came to love Touko for who she was.
* ''Manga/BlueFlag'': Futaba eventually realizes her feelings for Touma aren’t really ones of love but more admiration for the sort of person he is and wanting to be like him which helps her realize her feelings for [[spoiler:Taichi]] is the genuine article.
* ''Manga/BocchiTheRock'': Played with. Kita initially joined the band due to her crush on Ryo, viewing her as a mysterious and aloof senpai, and is baffled when she realizes that Ryo is actually just an asocial weirdo as they hang out more. However, even after finding out what Ryo is really like, she still actively tries to repress the realization in hopes that it will preserve her image of Ryo being cool and thoughtful.
* ''Anime/BubblegumCrisis'': Priss Asagiri, the Knight Saber's singing biker, has some of this towards Nigel Kirkland in ''Tokyo 2040'', much of it, as Mackey observes, seems to be based on how they're both very quiet, very reserved individuals who say much by saying very little. She's hurt later on to learn that he's with her boss Sylia Stingray (more or less), after which she finally begins to bond more with the hulking roughneck AD Police officer Leon [=McNichol=].
* ''Manga/CardcaptorSakura'': Sakura realizes that her feelings for Yukito are (mostly) familial in nature, while Syaoran's crush on Yukito is explained as "attraction of similar magic", which clears the way for both of them to fall in love with each other.
* ''Manga/CaseClosed'': [[HotTeacher Kobayashi-sensei]] at first thought [[NonIdleRich Inspector Shiratori's]] love for her was due to the ''extreme'' similarity between her and [[ActionGirl Inspector Satou]], who [[RomanticRunnerUp Shiratori unsuccessfully courted for]]. It was subverted that it was ''Satou'' who was the shadow -- Shiratori's childhood friend [[FirstGirlAfterAll that he's been in love for more than half his life]] was ''indeed'' Kobayashi, but he didn't know her name and mistook that to be [[IdenticalStranger Satou]] when he grew up. When this is cleared up and Kobayashi [[ForgottenFirstMeeting remembered Shiratori]] as clearly as he recalled her, they properly got together.
* ''Manga/ChainsawMan'': Supplementary materials deconstruct Kishibe's infatuation with Quanxi, explaining that the reason he was enamored with her was because her immortality made her the only stable and unchanging part of his chaotic life as a hunter. He recognizes that he loved her precisely because it felt 'safe' loving her, she couldn't just suddenly die and leave him.
* ''Manga/DeathNote'': This is part of the reason for [[MadLove Misa]]'s [[LoveMartyr Love Martyrism]]--to her, [[LightIsNotGood Light Yagami]] will always be the handsome and heroic vigilante that avenged her murdered family, regardless of how [[SerialKiller less]] [[BlackAndWhiteInsanity than]] [[AGodAmI heroic]] he actually is, and she is madly in love with him for that. It [[{{Yandere}} proves hazardous]] for them both.
* ''Anime/DigimonAdventure02'': Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji have a parental case of this. Having a ChildProdigy for a son in Osamu got a little to their heads, and when Osamu was killed by a car, they were too caught into their own grieving to pay any attention to their younger son Ken (who already felt neglected). It's not until Ken, under the influence of the dark spores in his body, becomes an AcademicAthlete rivalling or even surpassing Osamu that his parents finally give him the time of his day, but they only love him as a shadow of Osamu. It takes Ken vanishing with the intent to stay in the Digital World and returning with TraumaInducedAmnesia for them to realize this and finally start loving and acknowledging him as ''Ken''.
* In ''Literature/DirtyPair Flash'', an admirer of Yuri's built a robot duplicate of her, programing it to act how he imagined Yuri acts. When the boy gets the chance to spend time with the real Yuri, he finds that she isn't like he imagined at all.
* ''Manga/FoodWars'': Erina Nakiri has a non-romantic case of this towards Joichiro Saiba. She genuinely admires him as a chef and wishes to emulate him, but somehow has made herself an image of him being someone who does not admit nor allow failure when that couldn't be further from the truth. Doubles as DramaticIrony given that she takes to hate protagonist Soma Yukihira for his humble origins and his seemingly carefree attitude of learning from his failures to improve, unaware that he's the son of her idol and Joichiro himself was the one to instill that mindset in him.
* ''Manga/{{Freezing}}'': Kazuya's attraction to Satellizer STARTS like this as she reminds him of his departed sister Kazuha. Kazuya grows out of this, but it becomes a source of tension on Satellizer's part as she wonders if she's just a "replacement" for Kazuha.
* ''Manga/FruitsBasket'':
** After volumes of what seemed like romantic buildup, in order to [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds solve the love triangle]] that Yuki and Tohru are involved in, it's revealed that [[spoiler:Yuki never truly loved Tohru romantically, but was looking for a mother figure in her after years of ParentalAbandonment]]. There is some subtle {{Foreshadowing}} for this, since [[spoiler:he never gets flustered around Tohru like Kyo does (aside from one instance where Tohru [[FirstNameBasis calls him by his given name]] for the first time) and is briefly shown to be jealous when he sees Tohru acting motherly towards the younger Sohmas]].
** Yuki himself is on the receiving end of this. He has a huge fan club of girls at school who are smitten with his image as a PrincelyYoungMan, but none of them come close to realizing how much of a BrokenAce and StepfordSmiler Yuki really is.
* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'':
** When she's introduced, May Chang from ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'' gets a ''huge'' crush on Ed based on the few bits of information she hears about him (with dream sequences no doubt reminding some of ''Ouran'' below) [[LoveBeforeFirstSight and she hasn't even met him yet]]. She inevitably finds out what he's really like... but shortly afterwards she gets to know Al and the squeefest starts all over again. [[spoiler:Not even seeing Al's true emaciated body once he's restored to his original form puts her off, and it's implied that by the time Ed and Winry are married with kids, they may be either together or on their way to get hitched]].
** In the [[Anime/FullmetalAlchemist2003 2003 anime adaptation]], a filler episode at the beginning of the show focused on an alchemist named Majahal obsessed with reviving a beautiful woman named Karin who had died decades ago. To that point, he's created life-size dummies of how Karin looked before she died. [[spoiler:It turns out Karin hadn't actually died. She'd fallen off a cliff and sustained a head injury, which caused her to wander off in an amnesiac daze. Everyone just assumed she died because they couldn't find a body. Years later, as an older woman with her youthful beauty having faded, she regained her memory and went back to her village under a different name. The problem was Majahal's love for the younger Karin had turned into an obsession, and when Ed revealed Karin's identity Majahal refused to accept this "hag" was the beautiful Karin of his youth, and dies rejecting her.]]
* ''Manga/FushigiYuugi'':
** WholesomeCrossdresser Nuriko's habits were handwaved by the explanation that he was taking the place of his dead little sister Kourin.
** Likewise, Nuriko's love interest Hotohori had a huge crush on Miaka and was a strong contender for her attention. Turns out he was more in love with the ''idea'' of the Suzaku no Miko, rather than Miaka herself as a person. [[spoiler:He gets over it enough to marry one of the court ladies, Houki (who looks ''suspiciously'' like Nuriko when he was still a crossdresser, or like his dead little sister would've looked like if she was alive), and have a child with her… before ''he'' dies.]]
* ''Manga/HaikarasanGaTooru'': BrokenBird and DelicateAndSickly Countess Larissa Mikhailovna, who falls for [[spoiler:the amnesiac Shinobu]] because he looks and acts almost ''exactly'' like [[spoiler:her beloved husband Sasha, who died in the Russian Revolution.]] Even more so: [[spoiler:Shinobu was ''Sasha's older half-brother'' by their mother's side, which explains the [[StrongFamilyResemblance extreme physical similarity]].]]
* ''Manga/HikaruNoGo'': Non-romantic version. At the beginning of the manga, Hikaru, who was being controlled by Sai, defeated [[ChildProdigy Toya Akira]] in a game of ''TabletopGame/{{Go}}'', and the latter becomes obsessed with him ever since.
-->"If you keep chasing after [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial my ghost]], the real me is going to pass you by!"
* ''Manga/ICantUnderstandWhatMyHusbandIsSaying'' had a variation in the backstory. Upon reflecting on the incident where he falls for Kaoru, he notes that he more idolizes Kaoru and their co-worker, comparing it to falling for fictional characters. Said co-workers' rejection of him forced CharacterDevelopment on him, self-admonishing for his folly. He also suspects it was when his love for Kaoru become something more solid, substantial, and real.
* [[spoiler:Sonken Chuubou]] in ''Manga/IkkiTousen: Great Guardians'' was the reincarnation of [[spoiler:Shuuyu Koukin's wife from their past lives, so she was crushing out on him before they even met. She stops doing so once Koukin says [[ScrewDestiny she shouldn't make fate rule her happiness]], though. That, and Koukin was already in love with his cousin ''and'' Chuubou's "older sister", Sonsaku Hakufu, which Chuubou [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy also accepted]] very gracefully.]]
* Subverted in ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar''. Kaguya and Shirogane are genuinely in love with each other, but both of them think that the other only loves the mask that they present to others. Part of the reason they engage in the whole DuelOfSeduction is that they're afraid that the other would hate the "real" them.
* In ''Anime/KaiketsuZorro'', it's strongly implied that Lolita's infatuation with Zorro is born from him being like an adult version of her brave and astute childhood friend that she actually loved, even if he has become a wimp while abroad. Luckily, [[LovesMyAlterEgo said childhood friend is actually Diego de la Vega]], and the two ultimately get together when he can drop the facade.
* In ''Manga/KillerKiller'', SerialKillerKiller Takumi Hijirihara became the way he is after watching [[HijackedByGanon Mukuro Ikusaba]] [[InLoveWithYourCarnage slaughter his classmates]] and dedicated his life to [[NightmareFetishist emulating her and her "passionate" crimes]], even coming up with an elaborate rating system for his victims based on his idealized perception of her. Ironically, the real Mukuro was exactly like the killers he gave low ratings to, [[PosthumousCharacter which he had no way of knowing]].
* ''Manga/MariaNoDanzai'': [[AlphaBitch Kumiru]] has a massive crush on [[BigBad Okaya]] and constantly tries to get his attention, but it's not until she's at [[KnightTemplarParent Maria's]] mercy and [[HopeSpot she allows Kumiru to text one person without explicitly asking for help]] that she realizes [[ItsAllAboutMe he doesn't give a shit about her]]: for all the time they've known each other, he rarely bothers to answer her text messages, which makes Kumiru realize that they've never had a real conversation. She briefly considers texting him in such a way that will allow her to confirm how exactly he feels about her, but relents out of fear that she won't like the answer.
* ''Anime/MillenniumActress'': This is a plot point for two characters. It is even the subject of more direct LampshadeHanging at one point. The main character became an actress in order to find the man she loves, a rebellious artist. She sees him very briefly in her youth and continues to keep the torch alight all her life. [[spoiler:In the end, she admits that "It's the ''chasing him'' that I really love."]]
* Discussed in ''Manga/MissKobayashisDragonMaid''. When Ilulu first talks to Taketo, she mentions how she thought that she was in love with Kobayashi due to her desire to breed with her, but now realizes that she views her as more of a friend and mother figure. Given that she was emotionally stunted from the loss of her parents and being raised as a TykeBomb (plus the fact that dragons, in general, have a loose grasp of interpersonal relationships due to being a solitary species), it's understandable that she'd get her feelings mixed up.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEEDDestiny'': Shinn's late-season relationship [[spoiler:with Lunamaria]] is initially based around him installing her as a surrogate for [[spoiler:Stella, who in turn serves as a surrogate for his dead little sister.]] Develops into a proper relationship after Shinn [[spoiler:comes to terms with Stella's death and Luna finds out Meyrin is alive.]]
* ''Manga/MonkeyHigh'': Haruna suspects this is why Atsu keeps hitting on her. Their classmate Emi similarly pines for Atsu, and it's even pointed out that Atsu is the type who only loves who he can't have.
* ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'':
** Naruto had a crush on Sakura [[ShipSinking up until Chapter 469]] because 1) he thought she was pretty--which is an ''incredibly'' shallow reason to "like" someone, thereby fitting this trope perfectly--and 2) [[SingleTargetSexuality she always loved his rival Sasuke]], which made him subconsciously believe that if he managed to win her love, he'd be beating out Sasuke at something for once. It was always about his rivalry with Sasuke--TheAce, the ChickMagnet of his class, and [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter someone who was always better than him]]--than any actual romantic feelings. Sakura even calls him out on this, pointing out that [[GreenEyedMonster his jealousy towards Sasuke]] was the ''only'' reason why he had a crush on her at all--which was implied as early as Chapter 3. Both Chapter 469 and the {{canon}} movie ''Anime/TheLastNarutoTheMovie'' make it patently clear that his one-sided shallow crush on her was legitimately ''just that'': a passing crush and nothing more; it was ''never'' romantic love. The movie also makes it clear that [[spoiler:Hinata]] is the first and ''only'' time Naruto experiences both FirstLove and [[OneTrueLove true love]] because he genuinely fell in love with the person, rather than the idea of winning someone over by beating out someone else. Even the movie's {{Tagline}} is "His last story is his FirstLove", which officially makes [[spoiler:Hinata]] his OneTrueLove, FirstLove, the FirstGirlAfterAll, ''and'' FirstGirlWins. Finally, [[WordOfGod Kishimoto himself explicitly stated]] that Sakura was his first crush while [[spoiler:Hinata]] is his FirstLove.
*** Case in point: In the second flashback of the prologue to ''The Last'', when Iruka tells his students to write down the name of the person they want to spend their last day with, Naruto tells Sakura that he'd protect her, which she predictably rebuffs because she's focused on Sasuke. However, when Naruto actually thinks to himself, he admits that he doesn't have family or friends, and he's unable to write down a name. Despite his previous statement, Naruto does not think to write Sakura's name, even though he's supposed to have a crush on her in his childhood. This is an understated yet telling scene that demonstrates that his passing crush on her was non-existent and not serious.
** Speaking of ''The Last'', Naruto's {{fangirl}}s definitely count since they're only interested in Naruto because he's the hero who ended the war and saved the world. Since he has long since passed his GlorySeeker phase, [[CluelessChickMagnet he is clearly shown to be exasperated by their attention]]. Conversely, [[OneTrueLove Hinata]] is the ''only'' girl in the Leaf Village who actually [[WartsAndAll loves Naruto for who he is and has always loved him for the way he is]], ''not'' because he's a hero.
** All of the [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys girls that have a crush on Sasuke]] fall under this trope. Karin got a good look at the real Sasuke as he punched a hole in her to kill Danzo, which seemed to end her affection definitely...until it didn't. After Sasuke gave her a weak apology, [[EasilyForgiven Karin immediately forgave him]].
** Subverted with Sakura towards Sasuke. She starts out like any other Sasuke-admirer, but later falls in love with him for real after they become teammates and she learns more about him. [[SingleTargetSexuality She remains in love with him]] even after he tries to kill her twice when they're enemies because she believes Naruto can bring him back. When [[HazyFeelTurn he rejoins the good guys]], Sakura is able to perceive that Sasuke is not fully back to his former self yet. Nevertheless, she refuses to give up on him even as he remains outwardly dismissive and distant towards her and still seeks his acknowledgment. After she reaffirms her love and tries to reach out to him once more before his final battle with Naruto, Sasuke himself comments that they have no reason to love each other and that those are feelings from a failed past. [[spoiler:Following his definitive HeelFaceTurn, Sasuke is finally able to let go of his hatred and fully reciprocate Sakura's feelings. They later travel together, get married, and have a daughter named Sarada]].
* ''Manga/NegimaMagisterNegiMagi'':
** The girl most overtly fond of Negi, ClassRepresentative Ayaka, had a younger brother who died at birth the same year Negi was born. In many ways, Negi really ''is'' the "shadow" Ayaka wanted her baby brother to be.
** An arrow-straight version of this is the oddly flirtatious relationship the NobleDemon OldMaster Evangeline has with Negi. She had a crush on his ''father'' and [[StalkerWithACrush followed him halfway around the world]] before he defeated her through trickery and sealed her away on campus... and no, she did not look any older then.
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'': Misato at one point openly admits in her narration that she loved Kaji in part because he reminded her of her father, who died in the Second Impact.
* ''Manga/{{Nichijou}}'': Weboshi has a crush on Tsuyoshi, a boy with a mohawk, because [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys she assumes he's a delinquent]]. He's actually fairly nice, straightlaced, and considers himself an intellectual. The mohawk? [[FaceOfAThug That's just how his hair grows]].
* In the YaoiGenre manga ''Oku-san's Daily Fantasies'' the titular character has fallen in love with his local delivery man, Sudo, without knowing anything about him or having a full conversation with him. When he finally confesses to Sudo and is promptly turned down, he realises he isn't as upset as he should be if he really felt something towards him and says he was really in love with the idealised version of Sudo that he fantasised about. [[spoiler:At this time he realises that he has real affections for his neighbour, who confessed near around the same time]].
* ''Manga/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'':
** A young French girl was the [[IntergenerationalFriendship confidant of an older lady]] who worked at her BigFancyHouse as a part of the staff. The lady told the girl many times that her estranged son was a gorgeous, gentle person; a living PrincelyYoungMan. The naîve and inexperienced girl was completely smitten with such a dream image, logically, therefore, she went to Japan to meet him... [[spoiler:and tried to fulfill her girlish dream by promising said son, Tamaki, to help him re-meet his MissingMom if he agreed to go to France with her and leave the Host Club. Thankfully, [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy she realized it, and backed off in the nick of time]].]]
** There's also [[AscendedFanboy Ascended Fangirl]] Renge Houshakuji, who originally had a crush on Kyouya because he reminded her of her favorite guy from a dating sim. She eventually has to learn the hard way that Kyouya isn't anything like the dating sim character she's obsessed with.
* ''Anime/{{Penguindrum}}'': Ringo Oginome seems at first to be utterly smitten with Tabuki--[[StalkerWithACrush stalking him]], [[spoiler:feeding him a love potion]], and generally devoting her entire life to pursuing him. However, she eventually reveals that [[spoiler:she only loves him because her dead sister Momoka did, and Ringo believes that if she can fulfill Momoka's role by bearing Tabuki's child, her dysfunctional and broken family will be happy again.]] Eventually,[[spoiler:and with help from Shouma, she gives up on Tabuki and starts pursuing her own desires]]. Tabuki has some troubles with this trope himself; [[spoiler:he and his girlfriend Yuri both loved Momoka and are dating in order to recreate their relationship with her, even though they don't love each other romantically. At the end of the show, they decide to try and start a real relationship.]]
* A positive version of this trope occurs in ''Presents''. An artist falls in love with the daughter of a gallery owner at first sight. The daughter is a RichBitch who says she'll only go out with him if he can paint a fabulous portrait of her and then give it to her as a present. The artist tries and fails repeatedly until Kurumi tells him that he needs to put into the portrait what he felt when he saw her for the first time. The last portrait is hailed as a masterpiece and put on display in another gallery. When the rich girl reads about this, she greedily decides to remind the artist that he owes his success to her and his promise about the painting. The artist, surprisingly, turns her down, because he realizes she's not who he fell in love with. The girl he fell in love with is the girl he saw that day, the girl who is immortalized in that portrait, and for all his hard work and everything he put into it, he gets his dream girl. [[spoiler:The girl in the portrait steps out from the frame and becomes real. The artist receives a happy ending with his love. The rich girl, on the other hand, has a [[BodyHorror less than happy ending]] when she becomes just like all the failed paintings given to her before.]]
* Played straight in ''Manga/Reborn2004'' where Tsuna’s crush on the SchoolIdol is mostly based on his ideals of wanting to live a normal fulfilling life with a girl who can become an ideal housewife, who is much like his [[LikeParentLikeSpouse mom.]]
* ''Literature/RebuildWorld'': TheRival Katsuya's image of Sheryl when falling in love with her is that of an {{Ojou}} from the upper class out of his league, not knowing she's dirt poor and received everything she has directly from Akira. He also thinks of her as someone who'll always be there for him with emotional support. But, seeing as how Katsuya is actually victim to Sheryl's HoneyTrap, this might as well be an InvokedTrope: Sheryl makes herself appear as the woman of Katsuya's dreams, not as herself, so she can impress Akira with the info she digs out of him.
* ''Anime/RevolutionaryGirlUtena'':
** A rather heartbreaking and slightly twisted variant occurs with [[NiceGuy Miki Kaoru]], a piano player, who is apparently smitten with [[ShrinkingViolet Anthy Himemiya]]. He is attracted to her demurity and good nature because it reminds him of his [[HalfIdenticalTwin twin sister]] Kozue, or rather, how she ''used'' to be (at least in his mind) when they were children (in the series, she's a borderline {{Yandere}} and is [[BrotherSisterIncest smitten with him.]]) So he projects his feelings about his sister (or the sweet girl he used to be) on Anthy...
** Juri is in love with Shiori, but she seems to be more in love with an over-idealised mental image of Shiori than with the actual person.
** Mikage is smitten with Mamiya, but [[spoiler:"Mamiya" we see in the show is Anthy doing a DeadPersonImpersonation, the real Mamiya died years ago]]. Mikage later projects his feelings for Tokiko onto Utena as well.
** Anthy who [[spoiler:is only with Akio because she used to love Dios. It's implied she's complicit in his plans because she believes that if he gets his powers back, he'll once again be her beloved brother. It takes Utena's HeroicSacrifice before she realizes that it's never going to happen and it's not worth it.]]
** Needless to say almost everyone in the series gets this. A major theme is understanding and accepting people as more than just a stereotype or over-idealized image. Because until you do, you will end up talking past and hurting each other.
* ''Anime/SailorMoon'':
** It's speculated that [[spoiler:Seiya's crush on Usagi]] may have come from how similar she was to the [[spoiler:Starlight's leader, Princess Kakyuu.]]
** Makoto begins the series constantly falling in love with any new guy she meets because they remind her of her old sempai, whom she had a huge crush on. Luckily, she grows out of it.
* ''VisualNovel/SchoolDays'': Sekai Saionji who loved [[JerkAss Makoto Itou]] up until the end of killing him.
** How Setsuna Kiyoura fell for Makoto was having been saved by him from bullying. The truth of why Makoto even "saved" her was because he was fed up with the bullies.
** The reason why [[AlphaBitch Otome Katou]] loved Makoto, since she's the UnluckyChildhoodFriend in the UnwantedHarem surrounding him. [[spoiler:She's [[BrokenPedestal heartbroken]] when it '''finally''' sinks in that [[UsedToBeASweetKid the kind Makoto she once loved]] [[TookALevelInJerkAss doesn't exist anymore]], so she decides to [[WhatTheHellHero call him out on it to his very face]] right before the... [[DownerEnding very special]] GrandFinale.]]
* ''Anime/SchoolRumble'':
** Tenma's crush on Karasuma, since she doesn't really know anything about him because he's TheStoic, only that she thinks he's handsome and mysterious, yet she goes to insane lengths in her attempts to confess her feelings for him.
** Lampshaded by Harima, who is in love with Tenma but he forgot ''why'' a long time ago and admits it's almost a force of habit.
* ''Literature/{{Shimoneta}}'':
** Earlier in the series, Ayame tried to warn Tanukichi about the dangers of idealizing someone, but he didn't listen. In his mind, Anna was pure and innocent. Even after she awakens to [[AllWomenAreLustful her pent-up sexual urges]] and begins [[StalkerWithACrush stalking him]], he refuses to believe it's "the real" her. It isn't until episode 7 that he finally faces the truth and now [[NoGuyWantsToBeChased wants nothing to do with her.]]
** During the same episode, Ayame realizes Tanukichi's begun to idealize her as well. So she reminds him that [[HeroicSelfDeprecation she isn't as noble as he believes her to be]] and that her reasons for opposing the Public Morals Committee [[EthicalSlut are selfish ones.]]
* ''Manga/SpyXFamily'': While Nightfall does harbor true affection for Twilight, she really only cares about being with him and as his wife, not even taking into account how Yor, Anya, or even Twilight himself would feel in ruining the Forger family he worked so hard to create. It also gets played with that ever since her introduction she only calls Twilight by his epithet and never by his Loid Forger name, showing that she only loves the spy Twilight and his numerous aliases and not the loving family man Loid Forger despite saying his family man persona is just as lovable, implied to be because she's resentful that Yor and Anya brought those genuine emotions from him.
* ''Anime/SuperDimensionFortressMacross'': Misa Hayase was deeply affected by [[spoiler:the loss of her beloved fiancé and childhood friend, Riber Fruhling. Later, Minmay's handsome cousin Kaifun enters the scene, and he looks a LOT like a Chinese version of the deceased Riber...]]
* Played ''very'' darkly in ''Literature/SwordArtOnline'' during the Phantom Bullet arc. [[Characters/SwordArtOnlineGunGaleOnline Kyouji Shinkawa's]] crush on [[Characters/SwordArtOnlineShinoAsada Shino Asada]] is rooted in [[spoiler:the fact that she ''killed'' someone in real life with a real gun, not realizing how much this event traumatized her and that it's not something she's proud of in the least]].
* ''Anime/TigerAndBunny'': Played [[PlayedForDrama for tragedy]] when the focus of the episode turns to [[TheAce Sky High.]] During a slump in his superheroics, he falls in LoveAtFirstSight with a beautiful girl he meets at the park, and his conversations with her help him work through his issues. Unfortunately, [[spoiler:the girl in question, Cis, was a malfunctioning [[DeceptivelyHumanRobot android]], and everything she said to him was the result of simplistic conversational programming. When Cis [[AIIsACrapshoot goes berserk]] because of her damaged programming, her artificial skin burns off, and a freshly re-moralized Sky High destroys the rampaging robot. [[TearJerker The next day, he goes back to the park with a bouquet of flowers to thank Cis]]...]]
* ''Literature/TrappedInADatingSimTheWorldOfOtomeGamesIsToughForMobs'': ConversedTrope. Julius gives Angelica, and Noelle gives Loic, a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech for seeing them like this. They each ask the other party to name something they like and Angelica and Loic each fail.
* ''Anime/TheVisionOfEscaflowne'':
** Everyone assumes Allan Schezar is attracted to slender young [[TheIngenue ingenues]] (borderline-legal in Japan, criminal almost everywhere else). Hints revealed later indicate that they are all ReplacementGoldfish--specifically, replacements for his little sister [[FailureKnight whom he was unable to rescue in his youth]].
** Hitomi's attraction to Allen Schezar was partly caused by his ''extreme'' similarity (both physical and personality-wise) to her beloved Amano-sempai, her long-time crush in school.
* Since the plot of ''Manga/TheWorldGodOnlyKnows'' revolves around having Keima make girls fall in love with him for their own good, there's going to be a lot of this. In fact, he seems to do it intentionally. He projects whatever personality they want to see in him so that they become attracted while he helps them solve whatever problems created a gap for them in the first place. Only two targets and the supernatural characters avert this.
[[/folder]]
* ''Anime/FiveCentimetersPerSecond'': In Chapter 3, Takaki is no longer in love with Akari herself, but rather with the idea of Akari. All the things he is longing for are not physical but abstract things that he cannot grasp, which is why he finds it so difficult to find any way to resolve his longing. He's made efforts to move on, as evidenced by his relationship with his new girlfriend Risa, but he's as distant with her as he is with everyone else.
* ''Anime/{{Aggretsuko}}'':
** In the Season 1 finale, [[spoiler:Retsuko finally realizes that she doesn't love Resasuke, but rather the super-idealized version of him that only exists in her head and she breaks off her relationship with him. In the same episode, Retsuko's coworker Haida confesses his crush on her, but also admits that, despite this, he doesn't really know her that well. However, he decides to rectify this by actually getting to know her.]]
** In Season 3, Haida's DoggedNiceGuy tendencies towards Retsuko are painfully deconstructed as everyone in his life calls him an idiot for still going after her when he barely knows her and has another girl who actually cares for him, [[spoiler: including Retsuko herself who gives him a ReasonYouSuckSpeech in the season finale for expecting her to get over her trauma and return to the real world just to [[EntitledToHaveYou accommodate his feelings.]]]]
* ''Manga/Area88'': In the manga and OVA, Ryoko's obsession with Shin falls into this category. She idealizes Shin and is enamored with the idea of being in love. However, she fails to understand how he thinks, what motivates him, or how his time at Area 88 has affected him. For this reason, she's completely blindsided when [[spoiler:he abandons her]] in both continuities.
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'': While she never confesses her feelings, Kaorin's crush on Sakaki is based entirely on Sakaki's superficial qualities, admiring her coolness as an AloofDarkHairedGirl and AcademicAthlete. What Kaorin doesn't realize is that Sakaki is actually a ShrinkingViolet and a KindheartedCatLover, and her image as cool and rugged comes entirely from people misinterpreting her intimidating looks and lack of social skills.
* ''Manga/BlackCat'': This happened to Creed's worship of Train in the anime. After Train defeats him, he suddenly does a HeelFaceTurn and no longer has any reaction or romantic obsession with him, even [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds getting together with Echidna]]. This never happened in the manga, where Creed [[VillainousBreakdown goes into a catatonic state of shock]] and is never shown getting over Train. Rather ironic, considering that the anime made Creed more [[StalkerWithACrush pervertedly obsessed with Train]] than in the manga, making this an even less justified trope.
* Subverted in ''Manga/BloomIntoYou''. Sayaka admits that she fell in love with Touko at first sight, based largely on Touko's beauty and the fact that Touko had managed to outdo her on the Toomi East entrance exam. Over time, though, Sayaka came to realize that Touko is quite vulnerable under her façade ([[SecretSecretKeeper although Touko didn't initially realize that Sayaka knew]]), but rather than be disappointed, Sayaka came to love Touko for who she was.
* ''Manga/BlueFlag'': Futaba eventually realizes her feelings for Touma aren’t really ones of love but more admiration for the sort of person he is and wanting to be like him which helps her realize her feelings for [[spoiler:Taichi]] is the genuine article.
* ''Manga/BocchiTheRock'': Played with. Kita initially joined the band due to her crush on Ryo, viewing her as a mysterious and aloof senpai, and is baffled when she realizes that Ryo is actually just an asocial weirdo as they hang out more. However, even after finding out what Ryo is really like, she still actively tries to repress the realization in hopes that it will preserve her image of Ryo being cool and thoughtful.
* ''Anime/BubblegumCrisis'': Priss Asagiri, the Knight Saber's singing biker, has some of this towards Nigel Kirkland in ''Tokyo 2040'', much of it, as Mackey observes, seems to be based on how they're both very quiet, very reserved individuals who say much by saying very little. She's hurt later on to learn that he's with her boss Sylia Stingray (more or less), after which she finally begins to bond more with the hulking roughneck AD Police officer Leon [=McNichol=].
* ''Manga/CardcaptorSakura'': Sakura realizes that her feelings for Yukito are (mostly) familial in nature, while Syaoran's crush on Yukito is explained as "attraction of similar magic", which clears the way for both of them to fall in love with each other.
* ''Manga/CaseClosed'': [[HotTeacher Kobayashi-sensei]] at first thought [[NonIdleRich Inspector Shiratori's]] love for her was due to the ''extreme'' similarity between her and [[ActionGirl Inspector Satou]], who [[RomanticRunnerUp Shiratori unsuccessfully courted for]]. It was subverted that it was ''Satou'' who was the shadow -- Shiratori's childhood friend [[FirstGirlAfterAll that he's been in love for more than half his life]] was ''indeed'' Kobayashi, but he didn't know her name and mistook that to be [[IdenticalStranger Satou]] when he grew up. When this is cleared up and Kobayashi [[ForgottenFirstMeeting remembered Shiratori]] as clearly as he recalled her, they properly got together.
* ''Manga/ChainsawMan'': Supplementary materials deconstruct Kishibe's infatuation with Quanxi, explaining that the reason he was enamored with her was because her immortality made her the only stable and unchanging part of his chaotic life as a hunter. He recognizes that he loved her precisely because it felt 'safe' loving her, she couldn't just suddenly die and leave him.
* ''Manga/DeathNote'': This is part of the reason for [[MadLove Misa]]'s [[LoveMartyr Love Martyrism]]--to her, [[LightIsNotGood Light Yagami]] will always be the handsome and heroic vigilante that avenged her murdered family, regardless of how [[SerialKiller less]] [[BlackAndWhiteInsanity than]] [[AGodAmI heroic]] he actually is, and she is madly in love with him for that. It [[{{Yandere}} proves hazardous]] for them both.
* ''Anime/DigimonAdventure02'': Mr. and Mrs. Ichijouji have a parental case of this. Having a ChildProdigy for a son in Osamu got a little to their heads, and when Osamu was killed by a car, they were too caught into their own grieving to pay any attention to their younger son Ken (who already felt neglected). It's not until Ken, under the influence of the dark spores in his body, becomes an AcademicAthlete rivalling or even surpassing Osamu that his parents finally give him the time of his day, but they only love him as a shadow of Osamu. It takes Ken vanishing with the intent to stay in the Digital World and returning with TraumaInducedAmnesia for them to realize this and finally start loving and acknowledging him as ''Ken''.
* In ''Literature/DirtyPair Flash'', an admirer of Yuri's built a robot duplicate of her, programing it to act how he imagined Yuri acts. When the boy gets the chance to spend time with the real Yuri, he finds that she isn't like he imagined at all.
* ''Manga/FoodWars'': Erina Nakiri has a non-romantic case of this towards Joichiro Saiba. She genuinely admires him as a chef and wishes to emulate him, but somehow has made herself an image of him being someone who does not admit nor allow failure when that couldn't be further from the truth. Doubles as DramaticIrony given that she takes to hate protagonist Soma Yukihira for his humble origins and his seemingly carefree attitude of learning from his failures to improve, unaware that he's the son of her idol and Joichiro himself was the one to instill that mindset in him.
* ''Manga/{{Freezing}}'': Kazuya's attraction to Satellizer STARTS like this as she reminds him of his departed sister Kazuha. Kazuya grows out of this, but it becomes a source of tension on Satellizer's part as she wonders if she's just a "replacement" for Kazuha.
* ''Manga/FruitsBasket'':
** After volumes of what seemed like romantic buildup, in order to [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds solve the love triangle]] that Yuki and Tohru are involved in, it's revealed that [[spoiler:Yuki never truly loved Tohru romantically, but was looking for a mother figure in her after years of ParentalAbandonment]]. There is some subtle {{Foreshadowing}} for this, since [[spoiler:he never gets flustered around Tohru like Kyo does (aside from one instance where Tohru [[FirstNameBasis calls him by his given name]] for the first time) and is briefly shown to be jealous when he sees Tohru acting motherly towards the younger Sohmas]].
** Yuki himself is on the receiving end of this. He has a huge fan club of girls at school who are smitten with his image as a PrincelyYoungMan, but none of them come close to realizing how much of a BrokenAce and StepfordSmiler Yuki really is.
* ''Franchise/FullmetalAlchemist'':
** When she's introduced, May Chang from ''Manga/FullmetalAlchemist'' gets a ''huge'' crush on Ed based on the few bits of information she hears about him (with dream sequences no doubt reminding some of ''Ouran'' below) [[LoveBeforeFirstSight and she hasn't even met him yet]]. She inevitably finds out what he's really like... but shortly afterwards she gets to know Al and the squeefest starts all over again. [[spoiler:Not even seeing Al's true emaciated body once he's restored to his original form puts her off, and it's implied that by the time Ed and Winry are married with kids, they may be either together or on their way to get hitched]].
** In the [[Anime/FullmetalAlchemist2003 2003 anime adaptation]], a filler episode at the beginning of the show focused on an alchemist named Majahal obsessed with reviving a beautiful woman named Karin who had died decades ago. To that point, he's created life-size dummies of how Karin looked before she died. [[spoiler:It turns out Karin hadn't actually died. She'd fallen off a cliff and sustained a head injury, which caused her to wander off in an amnesiac daze. Everyone just assumed she died because they couldn't find a body. Years later, as an older woman with her youthful beauty having faded, she regained her memory and went back to her village under a different name. The problem was Majahal's love for the younger Karin had turned into an obsession, and when Ed revealed Karin's identity Majahal refused to accept this "hag" was the beautiful Karin of his youth, and dies rejecting her.]]
* ''Manga/FushigiYuugi'':
** WholesomeCrossdresser Nuriko's habits were handwaved by the explanation that he was taking the place of his dead little sister Kourin.
** Likewise, Nuriko's love interest Hotohori had a huge crush on Miaka and was a strong contender for her attention. Turns out he was more in love with the ''idea'' of the Suzaku no Miko, rather than Miaka herself as a person. [[spoiler:He gets over it enough to marry one of the court ladies, Houki (who looks ''suspiciously'' like Nuriko when he was still a crossdresser, or like his dead little sister would've looked like if she was alive), and have a child with her… before ''he'' dies.]]
* ''Manga/HaikarasanGaTooru'': BrokenBird and DelicateAndSickly Countess Larissa Mikhailovna, who falls for [[spoiler:the amnesiac Shinobu]] because he looks and acts almost ''exactly'' like [[spoiler:her beloved husband Sasha, who died in the Russian Revolution.]] Even more so: [[spoiler:Shinobu was ''Sasha's older half-brother'' by their mother's side, which explains the [[StrongFamilyResemblance extreme physical similarity]].]]
* ''Manga/HikaruNoGo'': Non-romantic version. At the beginning of the manga, Hikaru, who was being controlled by Sai, defeated [[ChildProdigy Toya Akira]] in a game of ''TabletopGame/{{Go}}'', and the latter becomes obsessed with him ever since.
-->"If you keep chasing after [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial my ghost]], the real me is going to pass you by!"
* ''Manga/ICantUnderstandWhatMyHusbandIsSaying'' had a variation in the backstory. Upon reflecting on the incident where he falls for Kaoru, he notes that he more idolizes Kaoru and their co-worker, comparing it to falling for fictional characters. Said co-workers' rejection of him forced CharacterDevelopment on him, self-admonishing for his folly. He also suspects it was when his love for Kaoru become something more solid, substantial, and real.
* [[spoiler:Sonken Chuubou]] in ''Manga/IkkiTousen: Great Guardians'' was the reincarnation of [[spoiler:Shuuyu Koukin's wife from their past lives, so she was crushing out on him before they even met. She stops doing so once Koukin says [[ScrewDestiny she shouldn't make fate rule her happiness]], though. That, and Koukin was already in love with his cousin ''and'' Chuubou's "older sister", Sonsaku Hakufu, which Chuubou [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy also accepted]] very gracefully.]]
* Subverted in ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar''. Kaguya and Shirogane are genuinely in love with each other, but both of them think that the other only loves the mask that they present to others. Part of the reason they engage in the whole DuelOfSeduction is that they're afraid that the other would hate the "real" them.
* In ''Anime/KaiketsuZorro'', it's strongly implied that Lolita's infatuation with Zorro is born from him being like an adult version of her brave and astute childhood friend that she actually loved, even if he has become a wimp while abroad. Luckily, [[LovesMyAlterEgo said childhood friend is actually Diego de la Vega]], and the two ultimately get together when he can drop the facade.
* In ''Manga/KillerKiller'', SerialKillerKiller Takumi Hijirihara became the way he is after watching [[HijackedByGanon Mukuro Ikusaba]] [[InLoveWithYourCarnage slaughter his classmates]] and dedicated his life to [[NightmareFetishist emulating her and her "passionate" crimes]], even coming up with an elaborate rating system for his victims based on his idealized perception of her. Ironically, the real Mukuro was exactly like the killers he gave low ratings to, [[PosthumousCharacter which he had no way of knowing]].
* ''Manga/MariaNoDanzai'': [[AlphaBitch Kumiru]] has a massive crush on [[BigBad Okaya]] and constantly tries to get his attention, but it's not until she's at [[KnightTemplarParent Maria's]] mercy and [[HopeSpot she allows Kumiru to text one person without explicitly asking for help]] that she realizes [[ItsAllAboutMe he doesn't give a shit about her]]: for all the time they've known each other, he rarely bothers to answer her text messages, which makes Kumiru realize that they've never had a real conversation. She briefly considers texting him in such a way that will allow her to confirm how exactly he feels about her, but relents out of fear that she won't like the answer.
* ''Anime/MillenniumActress'': This is a plot point for two characters. It is even the subject of more direct LampshadeHanging at one point. The main character became an actress in order to find the man she loves, a rebellious artist. She sees him very briefly in her youth and continues to keep the torch alight all her life. [[spoiler:In the end, she admits that "It's the ''chasing him'' that I really love."]]
* Discussed in ''Manga/MissKobayashisDragonMaid''. When Ilulu first talks to Taketo, she mentions how she thought that she was in love with Kobayashi due to her desire to breed with her, but now realizes that she views her as more of a friend and mother figure. Given that she was emotionally stunted from the loss of her parents and being raised as a TykeBomb (plus the fact that dragons, in general, have a loose grasp of interpersonal relationships due to being a solitary species), it's understandable that she'd get her feelings mixed up.
* ''Anime/MobileSuitGundamSEEDDestiny'': Shinn's late-season relationship [[spoiler:with Lunamaria]] is initially based around him installing her as a surrogate for [[spoiler:Stella, who in turn serves as a surrogate for his dead little sister.]] Develops into a proper relationship after Shinn [[spoiler:comes to terms with Stella's death and Luna finds out Meyrin is alive.]]
* ''Manga/MonkeyHigh'': Haruna suspects this is why Atsu keeps hitting on her. Their classmate Emi similarly pines for Atsu, and it's even pointed out that Atsu is the type who only loves who he can't have.
* ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'':
** Naruto had a crush on Sakura [[ShipSinking up until Chapter 469]] because 1) he thought she was pretty--which is an ''incredibly'' shallow reason to "like" someone, thereby fitting this trope perfectly--and 2) [[SingleTargetSexuality she always loved his rival Sasuke]], which made him subconsciously believe that if he managed to win her love, he'd be beating out Sasuke at something for once. It was always about his rivalry with Sasuke--TheAce, the ChickMagnet of his class, and [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter someone who was always better than him]]--than any actual romantic feelings. Sakura even calls him out on this, pointing out that [[GreenEyedMonster his jealousy towards Sasuke]] was the ''only'' reason why he had a crush on her at all--which was implied as early as Chapter 3. Both Chapter 469 and the {{canon}} movie ''Anime/TheLastNarutoTheMovie'' make it patently clear that his one-sided shallow crush on her was legitimately ''just that'': a passing crush and nothing more; it was ''never'' romantic love. The movie also makes it clear that [[spoiler:Hinata]] is the first and ''only'' time Naruto experiences both FirstLove and [[OneTrueLove true love]] because he genuinely fell in love with the person, rather than the idea of winning someone over by beating out someone else. Even the movie's {{Tagline}} is "His last story is his FirstLove", which officially makes [[spoiler:Hinata]] his OneTrueLove, FirstLove, the FirstGirlAfterAll, ''and'' FirstGirlWins. Finally, [[WordOfGod Kishimoto himself explicitly stated]] that Sakura was his first crush while [[spoiler:Hinata]] is his FirstLove.
*** Case in point: In the second flashback of the prologue to ''The Last'', when Iruka tells his students to write down the name of the person they want to spend their last day with, Naruto tells Sakura that he'd protect her, which she predictably rebuffs because she's focused on Sasuke. However, when Naruto actually thinks to himself, he admits that he doesn't have family or friends, and he's unable to write down a name. Despite his previous statement, Naruto does not think to write Sakura's name, even though he's supposed to have a crush on her in his childhood. This is an understated yet telling scene that demonstrates that his passing crush on her was non-existent and not serious.
** Speaking of ''The Last'', Naruto's {{fangirl}}s definitely count since they're only interested in Naruto because he's the hero who ended the war and saved the world. Since he has long since passed his GlorySeeker phase, [[CluelessChickMagnet he is clearly shown to be exasperated by their attention]]. Conversely, [[OneTrueLove Hinata]] is the ''only'' girl in the Leaf Village who actually [[WartsAndAll loves Naruto for who he is and has always loved him for the way he is]], ''not'' because he's a hero.
** All of the [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys girls that have a crush on Sasuke]] fall under this trope. Karin got a good look at the real Sasuke as he punched a hole in her to kill Danzo, which seemed to end her affection definitely...until it didn't. After Sasuke gave her a weak apology, [[EasilyForgiven Karin immediately forgave him]].
** Subverted with Sakura towards Sasuke. She starts out like any other Sasuke-admirer, but later falls in love with him for real after they become teammates and she learns more about him. [[SingleTargetSexuality She remains in love with him]] even after he tries to kill her twice when they're enemies because she believes Naruto can bring him back. When [[HazyFeelTurn he rejoins the good guys]], Sakura is able to perceive that Sasuke is not fully back to his former self yet. Nevertheless, she refuses to give up on him even as he remains outwardly dismissive and distant towards her and still seeks his acknowledgment. After she reaffirms her love and tries to reach out to him once more before his final battle with Naruto, Sasuke himself comments that they have no reason to love each other and that those are feelings from a failed past. [[spoiler:Following his definitive HeelFaceTurn, Sasuke is finally able to let go of his hatred and fully reciprocate Sakura's feelings. They later travel together, get married, and have a daughter named Sarada]].
* ''Manga/NegimaMagisterNegiMagi'':
** The girl most overtly fond of Negi, ClassRepresentative Ayaka, had a younger brother who died at birth the same year Negi was born. In many ways, Negi really ''is'' the "shadow" Ayaka wanted her baby brother to be.
** An arrow-straight version of this is the oddly flirtatious relationship the NobleDemon OldMaster Evangeline has with Negi. She had a crush on his ''father'' and [[StalkerWithACrush followed him halfway around the world]] before he defeated her through trickery and sealed her away on campus... and no, she did not look any older then.
* ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'': Misato at one point openly admits in her narration that she loved Kaji in part because he reminded her of her father, who died in the Second Impact.
* ''Manga/{{Nichijou}}'': Weboshi has a crush on Tsuyoshi, a boy with a mohawk, because [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys she assumes he's a delinquent]]. He's actually fairly nice, straightlaced, and considers himself an intellectual. The mohawk? [[FaceOfAThug That's just how his hair grows]].
* In the YaoiGenre manga ''Oku-san's Daily Fantasies'' the titular character has fallen in love with his local delivery man, Sudo, without knowing anything about him or having a full conversation with him. When he finally confesses to Sudo and is promptly turned down, he realises he isn't as upset as he should be if he really felt something towards him and says he was really in love with the idealised version of Sudo that he fantasised about. [[spoiler:At this time he realises that he has real affections for his neighbour, who confessed near around the same time]].
* ''Manga/OuranHighSchoolHostClub'':
** A young French girl was the [[IntergenerationalFriendship confidant of an older lady]] who worked at her BigFancyHouse as a part of the staff. The lady told the girl many times that her estranged son was a gorgeous, gentle person; a living PrincelyYoungMan. The naîve and inexperienced girl was completely smitten with such a dream image, logically, therefore, she went to Japan to meet him... [[spoiler:and tried to fulfill her girlish dream by promising said son, Tamaki, to help him re-meet his MissingMom if he agreed to go to France with her and leave the Host Club. Thankfully, [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy she realized it, and backed off in the nick of time]].]]
** There's also [[AscendedFanboy Ascended Fangirl]] Renge Houshakuji, who originally had a crush on Kyouya because he reminded her of her favorite guy from a dating sim. She eventually has to learn the hard way that Kyouya isn't anything like the dating sim character she's obsessed with.
* ''Anime/{{Penguindrum}}'': Ringo Oginome seems at first to be utterly smitten with Tabuki--[[StalkerWithACrush stalking him]], [[spoiler:feeding him a love potion]], and generally devoting her entire life to pursuing him. However, she eventually reveals that [[spoiler:she only loves him because her dead sister Momoka did, and Ringo believes that if she can fulfill Momoka's role by bearing Tabuki's child, her dysfunctional and broken family will be happy again.]] Eventually,[[spoiler:and with help from Shouma, she gives up on Tabuki and starts pursuing her own desires]]. Tabuki has some troubles with this trope himself; [[spoiler:he and his girlfriend Yuri both loved Momoka and are dating in order to recreate their relationship with her, even though they don't love each other romantically. At the end of the show, they decide to try and start a real relationship.]]
* A positive version of this trope occurs in ''Presents''. An artist falls in love with the daughter of a gallery owner at first sight. The daughter is a RichBitch who says she'll only go out with him if he can paint a fabulous portrait of her and then give it to her as a present. The artist tries and fails repeatedly until Kurumi tells him that he needs to put into the portrait what he felt when he saw her for the first time. The last portrait is hailed as a masterpiece and put on display in another gallery. When the rich girl reads about this, she greedily decides to remind the artist that he owes his success to her and his promise about the painting. The artist, surprisingly, turns her down, because he realizes she's not who he fell in love with. The girl he fell in love with is the girl he saw that day, the girl who is immortalized in that portrait, and for all his hard work and everything he put into it, he gets his dream girl. [[spoiler:The girl in the portrait steps out from the frame and becomes real. The artist receives a happy ending with his love. The rich girl, on the other hand, has a [[BodyHorror less than happy ending]] when she becomes just like all the failed paintings given to her before.]]
* Played straight in ''Manga/Reborn2004'' where Tsuna’s crush on the SchoolIdol is mostly based on his ideals of wanting to live a normal fulfilling life with a girl who can become an ideal housewife, who is much like his [[LikeParentLikeSpouse mom.]]
* ''Literature/RebuildWorld'': TheRival Katsuya's image of Sheryl when falling in love with her is that of an {{Ojou}} from the upper class out of his league, not knowing she's dirt poor and received everything she has directly from Akira. He also thinks of her as someone who'll always be there for him with emotional support. But, seeing as how Katsuya is actually victim to Sheryl's HoneyTrap, this might as well be an InvokedTrope: Sheryl makes herself appear as the woman of Katsuya's dreams, not as herself, so she can impress Akira with the info she digs out of him.
* ''Anime/RevolutionaryGirlUtena'':
** A rather heartbreaking and slightly twisted variant occurs with [[NiceGuy Miki Kaoru]], a piano player, who is apparently smitten with [[ShrinkingViolet Anthy Himemiya]]. He is attracted to her demurity and good nature because it reminds him of his [[HalfIdenticalTwin twin sister]] Kozue, or rather, how she ''used'' to be (at least in his mind) when they were children (in the series, she's a borderline {{Yandere}} and is [[BrotherSisterIncest smitten with him.]]) So he projects his feelings about his sister (or the sweet girl he used to be) on Anthy...
** Juri is in love with Shiori, but she seems to be more in love with an over-idealised mental image of Shiori than with the actual person.
** Mikage is smitten with Mamiya, but [[spoiler:"Mamiya" we see in the show is Anthy doing a DeadPersonImpersonation, the real Mamiya died years ago]]. Mikage later projects his feelings for Tokiko onto Utena as well.
** Anthy who [[spoiler:is only with Akio because she used to love Dios. It's implied she's complicit in his plans because she believes that if he gets his powers back, he'll once again be her beloved brother. It takes Utena's HeroicSacrifice before she realizes that it's never going to happen and it's not worth it.]]
** Needless to say almost everyone in the series gets this. A major theme is understanding and accepting people as more than just a stereotype or over-idealized image. Because until you do, you will end up talking past and hurting each other.
* ''Anime/SailorMoon'':
** It's speculated that [[spoiler:Seiya's crush on Usagi]] may have come from how similar she was to the [[spoiler:Starlight's leader, Princess Kakyuu.]]
** Makoto begins the series constantly falling in love with any new guy she meets because they remind her of her old sempai, whom she had a huge crush on. Luckily, she grows out of it.
* ''VisualNovel/SchoolDays'': Sekai Saionji who loved [[JerkAss Makoto Itou]] up until the end of killing him.
** How Setsuna Kiyoura fell for Makoto was having been saved by him from bullying. The truth of why Makoto even "saved" her was because he was fed up with the bullies.
** The reason why [[AlphaBitch Otome Katou]] loved Makoto, since she's the UnluckyChildhoodFriend in the UnwantedHarem surrounding him. [[spoiler:She's [[BrokenPedestal heartbroken]] when it '''finally''' sinks in that [[UsedToBeASweetKid the kind Makoto she once loved]] [[TookALevelInJerkAss doesn't exist anymore]], so she decides to [[WhatTheHellHero call him out on it to his very face]] right before the... [[DownerEnding very special]] GrandFinale.]]
* ''Anime/SchoolRumble'':
** Tenma's crush on Karasuma, since she doesn't really know anything about him because he's TheStoic, only that she thinks he's handsome and mysterious, yet she goes to insane lengths in her attempts to confess her feelings for him.
** Lampshaded by Harima, who is in love with Tenma but he forgot ''why'' a long time ago and admits it's almost a force of habit.
* ''Literature/{{Shimoneta}}'':
** Earlier in the series, Ayame tried to warn Tanukichi about the dangers of idealizing someone, but he didn't listen. In his mind, Anna was pure and innocent. Even after she awakens to [[AllWomenAreLustful her pent-up sexual urges]] and begins [[StalkerWithACrush stalking him]], he refuses to believe it's "the real" her. It isn't until episode 7 that he finally faces the truth and now [[NoGuyWantsToBeChased wants nothing to do with her.]]
** During the same episode, Ayame realizes Tanukichi's begun to idealize her as well. So she reminds him that [[HeroicSelfDeprecation she isn't as noble as he believes her to be]] and that her reasons for opposing the Public Morals Committee [[EthicalSlut are selfish ones.]]
* ''Manga/SpyXFamily'': While Nightfall does harbor true affection for Twilight, she really only cares about being with him and as his wife, not even taking into account how Yor, Anya, or even Twilight himself would feel in ruining the Forger family he worked so hard to create. It also gets played with that ever since her introduction she only calls Twilight by his epithet and never by his Loid Forger name, showing that she only loves the spy Twilight and his numerous aliases and not the loving family man Loid Forger despite saying his family man persona is just as lovable, implied to be because she's resentful that Yor and Anya brought those genuine emotions from him.
* ''Anime/SuperDimensionFortressMacross'': Misa Hayase was deeply affected by [[spoiler:the loss of her beloved fiancé and childhood friend, Riber Fruhling. Later, Minmay's handsome cousin Kaifun enters the scene, and he looks a LOT like a Chinese version of the deceased Riber...]]
* Played ''very'' darkly in ''Literature/SwordArtOnline'' during the Phantom Bullet arc. [[Characters/SwordArtOnlineGunGaleOnline Kyouji Shinkawa's]] crush on [[Characters/SwordArtOnlineShinoAsada Shino Asada]] is rooted in [[spoiler:the fact that she ''killed'' someone in real life with a real gun, not realizing how much this event traumatized her and that it's not something she's proud of in the least]].
* ''Anime/TigerAndBunny'': Played [[PlayedForDrama for tragedy]] when the focus of the episode turns to [[TheAce Sky High.]] During a slump in his superheroics, he falls in LoveAtFirstSight with a beautiful girl he meets at the park, and his conversations with her help him work through his issues. Unfortunately, [[spoiler:the girl in question, Cis, was a malfunctioning [[DeceptivelyHumanRobot android]], and everything she said to him was the result of simplistic conversational programming. When Cis [[AIIsACrapshoot goes berserk]] because of her damaged programming, her artificial skin burns off, and a freshly re-moralized Sky High destroys the rampaging robot. [[TearJerker The next day, he goes back to the park with a bouquet of flowers to thank Cis]]...]]
* ''Literature/TrappedInADatingSimTheWorldOfOtomeGamesIsToughForMobs'': ConversedTrope. Julius gives Angelica, and Noelle gives Loic, a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech for seeing them like this. They each ask the other party to name something they like and Angelica and Loic each fail.
* ''Anime/TheVisionOfEscaflowne'':
** Everyone assumes Allan Schezar is attracted to slender young [[TheIngenue ingenues]] (borderline-legal in Japan, criminal almost everywhere else). Hints revealed later indicate that they are all ReplacementGoldfish--specifically, replacements for his little sister [[FailureKnight whom he was unable to rescue in his youth]].
** Hitomi's attraction to Allen Schezar was partly caused by his ''extreme'' similarity (both physical and personality-wise) to her beloved Amano-sempai, her long-time crush in school.
* Since the plot of ''Manga/TheWorldGodOnlyKnows'' revolves around having Keima make girls fall in love with him for their own good, there's going to be a lot of this. In fact, he seems to do it intentionally. He projects whatever personality they want to see in him so that they become attracted while he helps them solve whatever problems created a gap for them in the first place. Only two targets and the supernatural characters avert this.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Fan Works]]
* Played to [[TearJerker/ChildrenOfTime tear-jerking]] effect in ''Fanfic/ChildrenOfTime'': Beth Lestrade is in love with Literature/SherlockHolmes, but Holmes himself changes until there's hardly anything left of himself. Beth still loves the ''real'' Sherlock Holmes, but that Sherlock Holmes no longer exists. As for Holmes's response to her pleas, it doesn't get much colder than this:
-->I suggest you relay your message to his shade, wherever it may roam, and cease to bore me with your melodramatic sentiments.
* ''Fanfic/DawnComesOnTheSunsetSea'': Marcus tells Robb that Theon only ''thinks'' he's in love with Ros, when it's purely a matter of physical attraction. If they were ''truly'' in love, Marcus asserts, Theon wouldn't have to pay for her affection.
* ''Fanfic/DungeonKeeperAmi'': [[OurElvesAreDifferent Venna's]] crush on [[WhiteMage Snyder]], is something along these lines, according to Snyder. Other characters, however, seem to find it cute, and occasionally tease him/arrange for them to be alone together.
* ''Fanfic/TheInfiniteLoops'' can have this, as every reality reboots various Loopers coming Awake for the first time have to deal with the Loopers that have been around for so much longer.
** A particularly tragic case involves Chrysalis, whose first loop Awake was a variant in which she was married to a nonAwake Shining Armor. The Looping Shining Armor is, as per [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic canon]], married to Cadence.
* ''Fanfic/TheManyDatesOfDannyFenton'': [[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Katie Kaboom]]'s interest in Danny formed due to a series of misunderstandings.
* ''Fanfic/ArrowRebirth'':
** Tommy's affection for Laurel gradually degrades into this the longer he spends with the League. Even Ra's al Ghul can't help but note that Tommy doesn't love her so much as lust after her.
** After Felicity dies and Oliver learns that she was plotting to murder Laurel, Oliver gradually comes to the realization that he never loved the ''real'' [[{{Yandere}} Felicity]], but rather the good person he wanted her to be. Later commentary suggests that none of Team Arrow knew and cared for the real Felicity either.
** Quentin realizes this was his relationship with Dinah after [[spoiler:he learns that she refused to return to Starling, even after Sara came back, in the previous timeline. As he puts it, she never really wanted their family at all]].
--->'''Quentin''': I really was in love with a mirage.
* ''Fanfic/ForgingABetterFuture'': During one of Oliver's therapy sessions, his therapist and him discuss relationships, and Oliver comes to the realization that his relationship with Felicity checks off every attribute of a TrophyHusband-relationship -- proving that she never really loved him but rather the idea of being the Green Arrow's wife. This, along with his lingering love for Laurel, is why Oliver chooses not to pursue a relationship with her again. [[spoiler:This only becomes even more obvious with TheReveal that Felicity had brainwashing powers and essentially forced him into a relationship with her, proving she was more concerned with living her personal fantasy than whatever feelings he had]].
* ''Fanfic/TheseFoolishThings'': Oliver admits that this is a major issue with him. He keeps trying to look for perfection in himself and in his significant others, and the entire situation with Felicity[[note]]In the story, Oliver breaks up with Felicity after she invades his privacy by hacking his private bank account and then tries to force him to cut Laurel and Thea out of his life when they call her out for her actions[[/note]] forces him to accept that he's not going to find it and that he needs to stop chasing after a fantasy and start living in real life.
* ''Fanfic/WhatItTakes'':
** In one of Oliver's dreams, his father Robert reveals that his relationship with Isabel was more of a byproduct of a HollywoodMidLifeCrisis. He wised up after Thea fell off her horse, and realized that if he stayed with her he'd be missing out on his family, on being there when they needed him.
** Oliver initially believes that his relationship with Felicity isn't this, as he cares about her far more than his father ever cared about Isabel, since she was his friend and teammate before she became his lover. [[spoiler:And then he finds out she's been lying to him for months and let their friends and loved ones out to dry in order to maintain their relationship and keep him "safe". So it is a case of this, just in a different way than Robert's relationship with Isabel. Whereas Robert chased after Isabel to feel young, Oliver wanted a genuine relationship with the person he thought Felicity was, instead of the selfish ControlFreak she ''actually'' was]].
* ''Fanfic/CrossAngeTheKnightOfHilda'': Salia develops an infatuation with [[OriginalCharacter Rio]], seeing him as a PrinceCharming[=/=]KnightInShiningArmor of sorts without really knowing him as a person. Her craving for genuine affection leads her to actually jump on Rio to try to seduce him, while he for his part is angry when she does this and tells her she's just confused.
* ''Fanfic/EverydayLifeWithUltimateGirls'': Chisa sincerely believed that Kyosuke wanted her to help everyone at Hope's Peak by exposing how corrupt the Steering Committee was, for the sake of the students and staff. Then she learns that Kyosuke's ''real'' plans are to [[spoiler:{{Blackmail}} the Steering Committee into making him the new Headmaster, with the intent of turning Hope's Peak into an AssimilationAcademy]]. He never cared about any of the people there beyond how he could profit from their existence. Upon learning this, the horrified Chisa immediately falls out of love with him.
* ''Fanfic/HopeOnADistantMountain'': Over time, Makoto begins to wonder whether he was falling in love with the Kyouko Kirigiri that he met inside the [[UnwinnableTrainingSimulation D-course simulation]]. As it turns out, his real classmates aren't quite the same as the fictional versions; in particular, Kyouko has a much ''nastier'' grudge against her father, and is willing to go to extreme lengths to hurt the headmaster, not caring who else gets caught in the crossfire.
* ''Fanfic/DannyPhantomLostEpisodesSeries'': ''Royal Pain'' has Danny realize that Paulina ThinksLikeARomanceNovel and is projecting that onto Danny Phantom, picturing him as the KnightInShiningArmor that she's ''destined'' to marry. This enables him to let go of his own crush on her, which he recognizes was just as shallow.
* ''Fanfic/DannyPhantomStranded'':
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomLost Lost]]'', Johnathan admits that his love for Stella blinded him to how she was nothing more than a self-absorbed RichBitch until it was too late.
** ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]'': Poindexter had a crush on one of his classmates, but didn't know anything about her. He's surprised to learn that she became a race car driver, and that she married somebody who used to be a "tinkerer" rather than a football star like he'd assumed.
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]'', Meilin calls out Shi on this, declaring that she'll no longer be "the shadow he loves".
* In ''Fanfic/ResurrectedMemories'': [[spoiler:Ember spends some time worrying that Danny is an inverted case of this, fearing that he only likes her alter ego “Amberline” over her.]]
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/708720/chapters/1309448#workskin Big Brother Hal Explains It All]]'', [[WesternAnimation/GreenLanternTheAnimatedSeries Razer]] fears that he is only attracted to Aya because she modeled herself after his late wife, Ilana. Hal is able to convince Razer that he likes Aya for who she is rather than what she looks like, [[BigBrotherInstinct while also warning him that]] [[IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer he'll skin him alive if he hurts her]].
* ''Fanfic/TyrantlyEverAfter'':
** Artina suggests that this is one of Fenrich's biggest problems: rather than loving his Lord Valvatorez for who he ''is'', he's besotted with his own ideas of what he could ''become'', building grandiose plans around him taking his 'rightful position' at the top of Hades and regaining his former powers... while ignoring what Valvatorez ''himself'' wants.
** She also points out that Valvatorez has a similar issue when it comes to ''her''. In his head, he's got this idealized image of the woman he made [[ThePromise his promise]] to, and struggles to accept her flaws. Even as she becomes more willing to pursue a potential relationship with him, she insists on delaying it until he's able to break past that mindset and accept her as who she is.
* ''Fanfic/DarknessBurning'': Due to Anna's desperate desire to [[IJustWantToBeLoved feel loved by]] ''anyone'', she tends to latch onto her suitors very swiftly, besotted with the idea that they're the ones who can fill that void. This winds up repelling most of them.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'' fanfic ''Fanfic/TheTornPrince'', Anna and Hans are instantly attracted to each other, causing Hans to impulsively propose. Later, Lars forces Hans to admit that he is merely deprived of love and to the point of seeing Anna as less of an object of affection but rather an escape from his miserable life. Later, Hans also forces Anna to admit that she only fell in love with the idea of him. [[spoiler:But during the months they spend together while Anna is ill in the Southern Isles, they gradually get to know each other and genuinely grow to love each other.]]
* ''WebAnimation/ReturnToKrocodileIsle'': Inverted; K. Rool is essentially ''hating'' a shadow. His image of Donkey Kong is of a stoic, almost Batman-esque superhero who understands and reciprocates K. Rool's personal hatred for him. In reality, [[spoiler:DK is the same absent-minded goof as in the TV show and completely forgot that K. Rool existed until he was back in front of him in ''Super Smash Bros. Ultimate'']].
* This isn't ''actually'' happening in ''[[Fanfic/TwiceUponAnAge All This Sh*t is Twice as Weird]]'', but one of the BigBad's minions tries to make [[VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition the Lady Inquisitor]] ''think'' it is; [[spoiler:the Nightmare]] implies that the people around her only care about her for what they think she is, and not for her as a person. She's not wholly convinced, but since she's already suffering a CrisisOfFaith at this point, she can't easily dismiss the idea either.
* ''Fanfic/TheSaviorKingTheMasterTacticianAndTheQueenOfLiberation'': Edelgard’s canonical crush with Byleth is reimagined as this. When [[spoiler:Thales]] offhandedly mentions that Byleth is in a relationship with [[{{Polyamory}} Claude and Dimitri]], she’s left devastated by the revelation. However, Edelgard has shown to be someone who disregards any kind of dissenting opinion, including Byleth's, and as a result; her connection with her is flimsy compared to Byleth’s connection to both Claude and Dimitri. Her heartbreak also has elements of [[EntitledToHaveYou entitlement]]; essentially, she “loves” Byleth, but she doesn’t truly know her in any meaningful way.
* ''Fanfic/PrayForUsIcarus'' has a complicated example with Aziraphale and Crowley when the latter begins to reincarnate as a human: while Aziraphale does genuinely love Crowley, he keeps wishing that the Crowley he's with was the demon who remembers the six millennia of their shared experiences on Earth instead of a human who has no memories of their past. As a result, while he's still happier with Crowley than he is with anyone else, he can't be fully happy with a Crowley who doesn't remember what they used to be.
-->The truth was that he found himself wishing it was the ''real'' Crowley who lay with him afterwards, murmuring softness against his neck, running worshipful fingers over his chest and stomach. Wishing those eyes were as gold and glimmering as they should be, wishing that smile was weighted with all their centuries together, wishing that Crowley would call him ''angel'', would call him by his true name. Wishing they'd found a way to do this long, long ago. Wondering if they would ever have the chance now, or if this pale echo was all he could hope for.
* ''Fanfic/PacificasRevenge'': Tyrone believes his mother Tracy was a deeply loving woman who expressed her devotion through all manner of small gestures before she and Dipper divorced, and gets very distressed whenever anyone insults or badmouths her. In reality, Tracy is a GoldDigger who only married Dipper because he'd gotten rich working for NASA. When they divorced, she took everything she could from Dipper, aside from the debts she'd wracked up and custody of their son.
* In ''Fanfic/BeCareful'', Lily Evans calls out the canon incarnation of Snape on this, stating that he never really cared about her as his ''friend'' so much as the fantasies he'd woven around her.
* ''Fanfic/PrincessOfTheBlacks'': When the Potters attempt to reconcile with their estranged daughter, Jen calls them out on this. Not only were they the ones who abandoned her in the first place, they only want the girl they've imagined in her stead back, not the one she's grown up to be.
-->'''Jen:''' Let's be honest, James, Lily. You don't want me... You want the daughter you ''could have had'', once upon a time. A daughter who acts and thinks like you do and does things you approve of. That's just not going to happen with me. The daughter you're looking for would be like [[spoiler:the late Ginny Weasley]], a nice, polite Gryffindor girl who supports the Light as the epitome of everything that is good and right in the world and looks forward to being a housewife. I'm a dark witch who worships Death and whose interest is rediscovering lost and forgotten magics. That's who you keep saying you want to bring into your family.
* In ''Webcomic/BeTheSeaDwellerLowblood'', Karkat's large number of hate-based flings are because [[spoiler:he hates himself so much that anyone who can tell him how he's a failure and a fake can turn him on]].
* ''Fanfic/HerdingCats'':
** Eridan projects all of his ideas of what Feferi ''should'' be onto her. Nepeta [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls him out]] on it.
** This also turns out to be why Sollux wouldn't fully commit to his relationship with Feferi. He'd been in love with [[spoiler:Aradia]], but believed they were unobtainable after [[spoiler:she was killed and subsequently possessed a robot]]. Feferi reminded him of the way the other used to be, so he was trying to make himself feel flushed for her and become her matesprit, only to find that it wasn't working.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2402970/1/Equal-Romance-02-Obscure-Ways-to-Devotion Equal Romance 02: Obscure Ways to Devotion]]'' has Kim start dating Josh Mankey after she essentially ends her friendship with Ron, but even before she realises that she cut Ron out of her life due to a misunderstanding, she realises that her attraction to Josh was purely superficial. When they actually spend time together, Kim and Josh can't truly engage with the other's interests and end up in their own groups when out at social events, to say nothing of Josh never truly supporting Kim the way Ron always would, culminating in the two of them breaking up at the Winter Formal.
* ''Fanfic/TheTouchOfGreenFire'': Josh Mankey's decreased relevance as the series went on is explained as being due to this. Kim thought she liked him because she figured she was supposed to, not because of genuine attraction. She moved on when he began dating someone else on the cheer squad.
* Several characters in ''Fanfic/NoGraveCanHoldMyBodyDown'':
** Rachel loves the goddess of Arcadia Bay, but only as a ''goddess''--not as a real flawed human whose power doesn't define her. Upon seeing the 'real' Max for the first time, Rachel has no idea what to do or say.
** Out of loneliness, Chloe projects her romantic feelings for Max onto Rachel.
--->''"When I touched your face to kiss you, you tilted your head down," Rachel says, and she takes her hands away. She doesn't look mad, and Chloe wishes she did. She just looks perplexed. "I'm an inch taller than you. It's not me. There's someone else."''
* ''Fanfic/{{Weightless|MassEffect}}'': Shepard spent 17 years in love with [[spoiler:Nihlus]] because he was [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe the first person who was nice to her]]. But later, she realized that she never knew about him as he had never let her in and that she was just in love with the idea of him.
* In general, [[FandomSpecificPlot it's very common for fanfics]] to {{Deconstruct|ion}} the LovesMyAlterEgo plot of the series by claiming either Adrien or Marinette (or both) are actually only in love with an ''idea'' of their partner, and not the real person. Typically this is either used to break up the pairing in favor of the author's prefered ship (particularly vindictive authors might use it to outright demonize whichever character they dislike in favor of the romantic partner they're using instead), or in more benign examples, allows for a more healthy and honest relationship to form once they get over their preconceptions. These also tend to run on the assumption that "Ladybug" and "Adrien" are fronts the characters put up, with "Marinette" and "Chat Noir" being more indicative of their real personalities, leading to this trope.
* [=NeutralMime's=] ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/38447836/chapters/112727180 Chameleon: alternate ending]]'' has this come into play during the 'Adrien version'. In short, Marinette informs Adrien of how she almost got akumatized after Lila threatened her in the bathroom. Adrien opts to focus on the ''almost'' and declares she just ''proved'' that she's [[BecauseYouCanCope strong enough to handle Lila]] ''without'' exposing her lying to the others. Then he learns that Lila was the one who'd stolen his father's book, nearly getting him yanked out of school, and promptly turns around and outs her himself. Seeing how abruptly he changed his tune upon realizing ''he'' was personally affected, Marinette realizes how [[ItsAllAboutMe self-centered]] he is and is left wondering what she ever thought she saw in him.
* ''[[Fanfic/TheLamentSeriesChaoticNeutral Chloé's Lament]]'': Due to Chloé being his OnlyFriend when they were younger, Adrien has convinced himself that he knows her better than the classmates she's been bullying for ''years''. It takes her betraying the heroes and [[TheBadGuyWins taking over Paris as Miracle Queen]] for him to finally recognize just how [[SpoiledBrat spoiled]] and [[ItsAllAboutMe self-absorbed]] she is, along with her complete LackOfEmpathy for others.
* ''Fanfic/{{I See What You Do Behind Closed Doors|MiraculousLadybug}}'':
** Adrien is in love with the ''idea'' of Ladybug -- namely, in the version of her that exists only inside the confines of his head, where she's merely "PlayingHardToGet" when she rejects his unwanted advances and is secretly into him. In fact, he is so besotted with her that he starts dating Marinette ''purely'' because he notices that she happens to resemble the object of his affections, unaware that [[LovesMyAlterEgo she IS Ladybug]].
** For her part, Marinette loves the boy she believes Adrien to be: a kind, compassionate young man whom she can count upon for support. Once they start dating, however, it doesn't take long for her to see BeneathTheMask -- especially after he tells her that he's Chat Noir.
* ''Fanfic/TheKarmaOfLies'': Marinette realizes that Adrien isn't the sweet, empathetic boy she'd thought he was when he not only [[BetrayalByInaction refuses to do anything about Lila]], but outright ''ignores'' her pain. Even when she confesses point-blank how she's on the verge of breaking down under the stress of being systematically isolated from her peers, he just smiles and 'reassures' her that [[BecauseYouCanCope she's strong enough to handle it]], making clear that he has no intention of ''listening'' to anything ''she'' has to say on the matter.
* ''Fanfic/LeaveForMendeleiev'': Aurore believes Adrien to be a NiceGuy who's a bit sheltered due to being a LonelyRichKid, and that he [[ObliviousToLove hasn't noticed how badly she's crushing on him]]. In reality, he's a BitchInSheepsClothing who's deliberately [[ObfuscatingStupidity feigning ignorance]] about her crush, being completely uninterested -- the only reason he's spending any time with her in the first place is that he's trying to get closer to Marinette.
* ''Fanfic/LongCon'' has Marinette realize that Adrien's BystanderSyndrome stems from how he's never had to deal with bullying himself before. This leads to her further realizing that she really doesn't know anything about him at all, resulting in her [[spoiler:amiciably falling out of love and giving up on her pursuit of him]].
* ''Fanfic/MarinetteDupainChengsSpitePlaylist'': Adrien combines this with LoveEpiphany after he nearly kisses Marinette, realizing both that he loves her and that he was merely infatuated with the ''idea'' of Ladybug and that he was somehow [[EntitledToHaveYou meant to be together with her]] simply because they were both superheroes.
* ''Fanfic/TheOneToMakeItStay'': While she gives up on pursuing Adrien very early on, over time, Marinette comes to realize that her crush on him was actually a case of this and that he wasn't the [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe thoughtful, considerate]] PrettyBoy she believed him to be. Two incidents during ''[[WhamEpisode All the Laughs We Had in the Past]]'' serve to drive this home:
** First, she discovers that Adrien [[SecretIdentity is Chat Noir]]. This allows her to connect all of Chat Noir's [[EntitledToHaveYou entitled]], [[ItsAllAboutMe selfish behavior]] to her former crush, realizing that Adrien is the sort of person who refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has been getting increasingly harder to work with lately due to his [[GreenEyedMonster mounting jealousy]] of Viperion and the other heroes.
** Second, she learns that Adrien [[spoiler:found out about her former crush on him when he [[ExactEavesdropping overheard her and Alya]] arguing at the museum... and not only did he decide not to do anything ''with'' that knowledge, he actually ''[[NeverMyFault blames her]]'' for it]]. The fact that he sees ''himself'' as the victim in that situation proves to her beyond any shadow of a doubt that he's hopelessly self-absorbed.
** Adrien's feelings towards Ladybug, meanwhile, are another good example of this, though he fails to recognize that himself. To his mind, Ladybug is [[BecauseDestinySaysSo destined to be his partner]], and he [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel firmly believes]] that if he [[DoggedNiceGuy just persists long enough]], she'll ''have'' to return his feelings. This leads him to [[NeverMyFault blame her]] for the mounting tension between them, and ultimately [[spoiler:ensures that he loses the ring to Miracle Queen when she disguises herself as Ladybug and pretends to reciprocate. Despite how he'd literally ''just'' had a huge argument with the real Ladybug, he accepts the Mirage because it's precisely what he wants to see: Ladybug giving in and doing what he wants]].
* ''Fanfic/OfPatienceAndPettiness'':
** Marinette fell for Adrien in the first place out of the belief that he was empathetic and compassionate. However, she reevaluates his character after he fails to help her with Lila, realizing that he [[SkewedPriorities tends to prioritize coddling the bullies than helping their victims]], and didn't care if ''she'' was hurting so long as she didn't do anything that threatened the illusion of 'peace' in their class.
** Adrien's situation [[PlayingWithATrope plays around with this]]. While he comes to realize that he didn't love Ladybug so much as he loved the ''idea'' of her -- the fictional version that he'd created inside his head -- he [[NeverMyFault blames her for this]]. There's also the DramaticIrony of his decision to move on by switching targets to Marinette, unaware that she's the same girl he originally pursued... and proceeding to make the exact same mistake of idealizing her and ignoring the fact that [[UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo she's no longer interested]].
* ''Fanfic/SoulmateSurvey'': [[LoonyFan Adrienne]] is completely attached to the idealized image she's built around Adrien. When she gets akumatized into Fandoom, Ladybug calls her out on this, simply asking "[[ArmorPiercingQuestion Do you know him?]]"
* ''Fanfic/TalesOfKarmicLiesAftermath'': In ''[[ShowWithinAShow Ladybug: Miraculous Journey]]'', Bridgette's crush upon Felix leaves her convinced that he's much nicer than he actually is. It takes his complete LackOfEmpathy when she recounts how scared she was when [[spoiler:Chat Noir threatened to kill her in a ShootTheHostage situation]] for her to realize just how wrong she was... while completely unaware that [[spoiler:Felix ''is'' Chat Noir]].
* ''Fanfic/TwoLetters'':
** After harassing Ladybug with his unwanted advances for roughly two years, Chat Noir finally gave up and switched targets [[DramaticIrony to Marinette]], right as Ladybug was so broken down that she was starting to grow receptive to his advances. When Luka points out that this makes it look as though [[NoChallengeEqualsNoSatisfaction he was only interested in the challenge]], Adrien denies it, while declaring that Ladybug should have just accepted he wasn't interested anymore and moved on [[MoralMyopia despite refusing to do so himself for so long]].
** Adrien's infatuation with Marinette is also shown to be this; he completely ignores her rebuffing him and spelling out [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech all her reasons for doing so]], heavily implying that [[EntitledToHaveYou he intends to claim her as his prize]] after he's dealt with the new Ladybug and Chat Noir.
** For her part, Marinette laments having fallen for Adrien's whole "Sunshine Boy" act, angrily questioning how she could have ''ever'' seen anything good in such a [[ItsAllAboutMe self-centered]] SpoiledBrat.
* ''Fanfic/WeightOffYourShoulder'':
** After Chloé's KarmaHoudiniWarranty runs out, Adrien scolds Marinette and the rest of the class for ''daring'' to be happy that she's finally facing consequences for her actions for once, claiming that they should take ''her'' feelings into account. This causes Marinette to realize that he was never the empathetic, compassionate young man she'd believed him to be; he repeatedly prioritizes the feelings of bullies like Chloé and Lila over those of their ''victims'', not caring about the pain they're causing to others.
** Adrien himself eventually realizes that he'd fallen into this with Chloé. Since he knew her back when she was [[UsedToBeASweetKid a sweet]], LonelyRichKid like him, troubled by her mother's ParentalNeglect, he convinced himself that he was the only person who knew "the ''real'' Chloé" and had to defend her from all her critics. The shock of learning that [[spoiler:his father was Hawk/Shadow Moth all along]] forces him to reevaluate everything he ''thought'' he knew, and he realizes that her FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse for being a SpoiledBrat and bullying everyone around her.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/34787452 What Friends Do]]'', Alya calls Marinette a {{Hypocrite}} not just for using the same pushy, won’t-take-no-for-an-answer tactics on Adrien that she gets mad at Chat Noir for doing on her, but for claiming to be above this trope with Adrien, saying she loves him for who he is unlike all Adrien’s other {{Loony Fan}}s, when in reality, she is also blinded by his status and fame to the point where she still acts like a StalkerWithACrush even after two years, during which time she could have gotten over her nervousness if she’d just approached him and tried to talk to him instead of putting him up on a pedestal.
* ''Fanfic/{{What Goes Around Comes Around|MiraculousLadybug}}'': This serves as one of Adrien's {{Fatal Flaw}}s: rather than recognizing who people actually are, he creates ''heavily'' idealized concepts of who ''he'' believes they are and [[SelectiveObliviousness ignores anything]] that suggests otherwise.
** He believes that Chloé and Lila are just {{Lonely Rich Kid}}s like him and are only acting out for attention; of course they don't ''mean'' to hurt anyone with their tantrums and lies! Rather than being punished or having their misdeeds exposed, they need their victims to TurnTheOtherCheek and show them nothing but kindness, compassion and understanding, to the point that he sees ''Marinette'' [[BlamingTheVictim as the real problem]].
** He's also convinced that not only is he [[EntitledToHaveYou entitled to Ladybug/Marinette]] because they were chosen to bear the 'matched set' of the Ladybug Earrings and Black Cat Ring, but that Marinette '''must''' immediately put her own feelings aside and cater entirely to what ''HE'' wants in an AllTakeAndNoGive relationship as his 'perfect girlfriend'.
** This also applies to his parents; while both are {{Control Freak}}s who see their son as nothing more than an extension of their will, Adrien clings to his insistence that they truly love and care about him, and only have his best interests at heart, despite all evidence to the contrary. [[spoiler:It takes Emelie giving him a BreakingSpeech about his naivete for the truth to finally sink in.]]
* ''Fanfic/{{The Wolves in the Woods|MiraculousLadybug}}'':
** Lila sardonically notes how both she and Marinette fell into this trap with Adrien; Marinette believed he was a sweet, sensitive and thoughtful guy after he leant her his umbrella, while Lila was simply interested in his good looks and rich lifestyle. Both learned the hard way that he was actually a [[ItsAllAboutMe self-absorbed]] BitchInSheepsClothing.
** PlayedForDrama when Adrien [[SayingTooMuch lets slip]] that the only reason he dated Kagami was because she happened to look like Ladybug.
** While Marinette had been gradually coming to terms with this, she's still blindsided upon learning that Adrien [[spoiler:is Chat Noir]], causing her to realize just how far divorced he was from everything she believed about him.
* ''Fanfic/{{Your Wish is my Command|MiraculousLadybug}}'': Even after it becomes evident that the [[RealityWarpingIsNotAToy reality-altering Wish]] she made has created an Adrien who is fiercely independent and unwilling to tolerate her tricks, Lila clings to the image she had of the ''original'' Adrien being an ExtremeDoormat, and is determined to claim him as her subservient boyfriend.
* ''Fanfic/MonsterPromSeniorYear'': Vicky's crush on Scott is based entirely upon her perception of him rather than who he actually ''is''. Over time, she [[CharacterDevelopment gradually gets over this]].
* ''Fanfic/{{Cain}}'' plays this interestingly with Katsuki, as what he admires most about All Might and Pro Heroes is simply their raw power and the idea that [[InvincibleHero they always win]]. Not how they fight for justice, protect the innocent, or anything connected to moral character; in Katsuki's eyes, all of that is just done for publicity's sake. Due to this, and how he assumes [[PsychologicalProjection everybody else thinks just like him]], Katsuki proves incapable of grasping why Toshinori is so put off by his underhanded efforts to destroy Izuku's dreams and ObliviouslyEvil behavior. All of All Might's attempts to teach Katsuki what being Heroic is ''supposed'' to be about also fail, as Katsuki simply can't fathom the idea that morality -- and anyone [[ItsAllAboutMe aside from himself]] -- might actually ''matter''.
* ''Fanfic/CrimsonAndEmerald'': Due to how his idol Stain praises Hawks' heroics, Dabi develops a CelebrityCrush on him.
* ''Fanfic/{{Dekugate}}'' shows this as one of the perils of fame: All Might may be LovedByAll, but many are more invested in what they've projected onto them. For instance, the titular online community is full of {{Loony Fan}}s who have convinced himself that his [[HappilyMarried marriage]] is a sham, building an entire narrative around the idea that the HSPC forced him to leave his true love David Shield and ''made'' him marry Parakeet, with their son being nothing more than a product the HSPC is shilling. Thus, they spew all manner of hatred and bile towards his wife and son for the high crime of ''existing'' and getting in the way of their fantasies.
* In ''Izuku's Pro Hero Harem Life'', [[spoiler:Izuku gives Toga a lecture to this effect when her rehabilitation hits a snag in that she still hasn't internalized [[TheyJustDontGetIt why her previous actions and those of the League had to be stopped]]. Izuku points out Toga only admires an idealized, surface-level understanding of him and doesn't actually know him that well, and puts a temporary moratorium on their meetings. While Izuku assures Toga he's not abandoning her and is committed to helping her get better, Toga obviously doesn't take this well, exclaiming [[EntitledToHaveYou Izuku is supposed to be hers]] and [[VillainousBreakdown ending the conversation in tears]].]]
* ''Fanfic/{{Perfect Masks|MHA}}'': One of the problems Momo has run into while dating is suitors who only care about her public image as a Pro Hero. One of her relationships failed when she started letting her boyfriend see other, more private and personal facets of herself, only for him to mistake it for a SecretTestOfCharacter:
-->'''Momo:''' Makoto well, he was entranced by the image of Creati that I had made. When I started showing the other parts of me, the parts that enjoy Britpop Jazz and truly terrible light novels, he flinched and ran. Thought that I was testing his commitment, and he wasn't going to put up with that in a relationship.
* ''Fanfic/WithConfidence'': After All Might [[BrokenPedestal breaks his own pedestal]] by telling Izuku that he can't become a hero without a Quirk, Izuku calmly admits to him that he really liked the idea of having somebody like his idol support his dreams. But of course, he'd only ever seen what Toshinori presented to the media, not knowing what the ''real'' All Might was like... until now.
* ''Fanfic/AllTheWayBack'': Princess Luna recognizes that her feelings for Twilight Sparkle may have roots in this, as Twilight is the unknowing reincarnation of her OneTrueLove Dusk Skyshine.
* In the comic ''[[Blog/TheRoyalSketchbook Ascension]]'', Celestia starts flirting with Golden Vellum right away. However, it's more due to him being a stallion from outside of town than because she actually likes him. Celestia doesn't get to interact with many from outside her village.
* ''Fanfic/AndrogyninjasADropOfPoison'':
** Sakura realizes early on that she'd fallen into this with Sasuke; after [[ForWantOfANail getting paired off for a training match]] at the Academy, Sasuke gets upset at her managing a CurbStompCushion and declares that civilian-born shinobi are nothing more than glorified CannonFodder. This sparks her recognizing that he's an ArrogantKungFuGuy, and her crush on him soon dissipates.
** Naruto struggles with this as well; while he's nicer to Sakura than Sasuke is, he doesn't really see her for who she is. He's so far out of touch with her that he's completely blindsided by the revelation that she's been forced to kill on several of their missions, and angrily [[WhatTheHellHero calls her out]] for the CrimeOfSelfDefense... which only serves to convince her that he never really cared about her at all.
* ''Fanfic/AGrowingAffection'':
** Hinata admits that her initial infatuation with Naruto fell into this; she didn't know him very well at all back in the Academy, and was more in love with the ''idea'' of him. That led to a dramatic misunderstanding where she thought she overheard him insulting her, spurring her AnguishedDeclarationOfLove. Happily, the two are able to work things out, building a friendship that makes their eventual romance all the stronger.
** Naruto also accuses Sakura of this when she comes on to him, saying she doesn't know anything about him other than that he used to have a crush on her that he's since gotten over.
* ''Fanfic/{{Space to Breathe|Naruto}}'':
** While Sakura was originally ''thrilled'' that she ended up on the same team as Sasuke, spending so much time around her crush forced her to realize just how much she'd been projecting her own desires onto him. Not only was he completely uninterested in her, he proved to be [[ItsAllAboutMe so self-absorbed]] that she started worrying whether she could trust him as a ''teammate'', let alone a potential love interest. What's left of her crush crumbles apart around the time that she transfers out of Team Seven and takes an apprenticeship under Ibiki.
** Naruto [[PlotParallel has a similar problem]] when it comes to Sakura herself. Rather than appreciating her for who she is, he's more invested in the notion of her being a prize he can win, somebody he's competing with Sasuke to win over... despite Sasuke's complete disinterest. Sakura eventually [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls him out on it]].
* ''Fanfic/{{What You Knead|Naruto}}'': Spending time with her new teammates forces Sakura to recognize that she didn't really know Sasuke that well at all, and was fawning after the idealized image she'd created of him. The fact that Sasuke recklessly endangered her life during the Bell Test by attacking Kakashi while he had a kunai near her neck didn't help much, either.
* ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust'':
** Asuka had a crush on her guardian Kaji because she longed for being acknowledged and treated as an adult and he was the only decent father figure she had known. After hooking up with Shinji and realizing Kaji was infatuated with Misato, she dropped her crush right away.
** Ritsuko was in love with Gendo but she did not know him at all.
** At the same time she thinks Maya's crush on her is idol worship because Maya did not know her real self.
* ''Fanfic/TheDeathOfOne'':
** Asuka decides that sleeping with Ikari would enable her to have some memory of "making love to Shinji". Ikari angrily rejects her advances, declaring that he's his own person.
** Ikari also asks Rei if she sees him as a replacement for Shinji, she asserts that he's his own person. However, she later admits that she did indeed love Shinji, and got together with Ikari out of loneliness.
* In ''Fanfic/NeonGenesisEvangelionGenocide'', Ritsuko is angry and spiteful because she's realized Gendo wasn't the person she believed he was, and he actually never loved her.
* ''Fanfic/TheOneILoveIs'': Asuka had a crush on Kaji because he was handsome and manly. Later on, she admits that he wasn't the person that she believed that he was.
* ''Fanfic/TheSecondTry'': After maturing a bit, Asuka admits to Shinji and herself that she didn't really love Kaji. She had a "delusional crush" on him because he represented the adult world that she wanted to be a part of. In a scene, while she sleeps with Shinji, Asuka wonders about the difference between being in love and thinking you're in love.
-->"But what if there weren't other people? Who could judge if you were in love or if you'd just experience a crush on someone; if you just ''think'' you are in love?"
* In ''Fanfic/StraightThrough'', Yosuke becomes infatuated with Yukari in much the same way he did with Saki before, much to Yukari's annoyance.
* ''Fanfic/BeyondTheWindingRoad'': Both Anderson and Gilbert have difficulty looking past the "half-truth of a superimposed image" they paint on Oz.
** Andy loves his brother Lewis, but doesn't understand his connection to Oz Vessalius or how it's shaped his identity as Oz worked through his reincarnation-induced Disassociative Identity Disorder. He also doesn't understand why Lewis now chooses to go by Oz, seeing it as the name of his alternate personality.
** Gilbert, meanwhile, is eternally devoted to Oz ''Vessalius'', but doesn't know anything about Lewis "Oz" Tale or how the last fifteen years of his reincarnated life has shaped him into who he is today.
* ''Fanfic/AshsComa'' reimagines the anime as AdventuresInComaland. While Misty was based off somebody he's seen in real life, he didn't actually ''know'' her, and her personality is entirely his own invention.
* The drabble ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13549460/1/ Fix You]]'' explores this with Serena and Misty. As both of them knew Ash in different stages of his life, Serena has a hard time accepting the less-than-nice aspects of his personality. Misty calls her out on it, telling her she's made herself a "perfect" image of Ash and proceeds to tell her she never saw him when he was brash, selfish, a bit of a SoreLoser, and prone to UnsportsmanlikeGloating. The implication is that Misty is aware of Ash's flaws, [[WartsAndAll yet she accepts them as a part of him and loves him nonetheless]]. It's also somewhat downplayed in that Serena's feelings are no less genuine than Misty's, but she acknowledges that she needs to know Ash more.
* ''Fanfic/PowerRangersGPX'': Pink Ranger Hitomi has a crush on Red Ranger Sean, but as the narration points out, she was enamored with what he represented, freedom from her strict family. He was never once interested in her except as a little sister figure and instead fell in love with Yellow Ranger Maria Aparicio. Unlike some other examples, Hitomi is a [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy graceful loser]] and eventually finds real love [[spoiler:with an elf girl]].
* ''Fanfic/AuntSalem'': The Cult of Salem's followers have a zealous devotion to Jaune. But it isn't Jaune the person they are enamored with, but with the child of the family whom Salem has blessed. They thus imagine Jaune as having far more power and prowess than he actually does. Jaune himself is disappointed and exasperated by all this, thinking he is getting praise and help he hasn't actually earned. Only [[OnlySaneMan Ren]] avoids this.
* In ''Fanfic/LearningToBloom'', Weiss' crush on Neptune is compared to Jaune's crush on Weiss (which only lasted a few weeks). It's a surface-level attraction based on his looks and charisma. Weiss' feelings for Neptune wither quickly after realizing he's not what she imagined him as, but she still continues to date him because she wants to make their relationship work. In the end, she ends up leaving him for Pyrrha.
* ''Fanfic/{{Raise}}'': Weiss' attraction towards Jaune stems mainly from the stories she's seen and heard about him resurrecting others, and she seems incapable of separating said powers from his identity. When he suggests taking a day off so that they can celebrate his birthday together, she's aghast at the notion that he would "let people die". Later, after he's exhausted nearly all of his Aura resurrecting victims of a White Fang attack, she protests Elm suggesting that he take a break, insisting that he can surely save at least one more person. Willow tells her outright that she doesn't love Jaune at all, merely the ''idea'' of him and what he can accomplish with his abilities.
* ''Fanfic/AThornAmongstTheFlowers'': Luo Binghe forces Shen Qingqiu to marry him after getting a glimpse of another world in which the man doted on him. Shen Qingqiu is thoroughly disgusted to learn this and bluntly tells the half-demon that he's infatuated with a mirage.
* Done in ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/u/27015/The-Prime-Minister The Prime Minister's]]'' epic series about the relationship between Xellos and Lina Inverse. [[spoiler:After the Anime series, Lina and Gourry are in a romantic relationship. During Amelia and Zelgadis' wedding, the two have a fight, resulting in Lina leaving Gourry because she is afraid of commitment, which Gourry wants after being with her for over a year. She runs into Xellos and the two have an affair that leads to two children over the years while having many adventures together. However, Lina grows to resent and hate Xellos, because she believes he tricked her and longs to be with Gourry again, even naming her son after him. This leads to many fights between the two over a long period of time. It's not until Lina meets him again over a decade later that she realized she left Gourry because she truly didn't love him like he still loved her, and she chose to be with Xellos, because she does love him, but couldn't bring herself to admit it once again because of fearing commitment and being dependent on another person.]]
* ''Fanfic/BequeathedFromPaleEstates'' makes clear that Robert never really loved the real Lyanna by having him develop a lustful attraction towards her niece[[spoiler:/daughter]] Lyarra, simply because he sees her as being a "perfected" version of Lyanna in terms of appearance.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/46318249/chapters/116615050 What If...? Catelyn Tully]]'', Catelyn, in a moment of rage after an argument she had with Ned over Jon, makes a wish that Ned's brother Brandon, to whom she was originally betrothed and courted by, didn't die. She then wakes up in her childhood bedroom as her younger self in an alternate timeline where [[ForWantOfANail the Mad King Aerys II died earlier on]], allowing Rhaegar to become king and avoid the events that led to Brandon's death and Robert's Rebellion. She's initially ecstatic, only to quickly [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor realize she didn't really know Brandon all that well]] outside of their brief meetings, with things rapidly degrading into an AwfulWeddedLife.
* In ''Fanfic/ThereAndBackAgain'', Jon Arryn believes Robert is simply projecting the torch he still carries for the late Lyanna (whom he never really knew as a person) onto Sansa as a ReplacementGoldfish when the latter announces he'll betroth himself to her after finding out about Cersei's affair with Jaime.
* ''Fanfic/UnbreakableRedSilkenThread'': Cody realizes his feelings for Gwen were this after a talk with Noah.
* ''Fanfic/TransformersAnimatedCybertronianGenesis'': Elita-1 was the love of Optimus Prime's lifecycle, which is why, no matter how hard tries, he cannot seem to let go of Blackarachnia. However, as far as Blackarachnia is concerned, Elita-1 is dead. Even more, there is evidence that suggests that the Elita Optimus loved never existed in the first place.
* Notably both [[spoiler:Clone!]]Sakura and [[spoiler:Real!]]Syaoran avert this in ''Fanfic/{{Shatterheart}}'' as they both refused to do this. While they both realize that the other is similar to their lover, they realize the other is too different to be their actual love.
* ''Fanfic/{{Verdigris}}'': Glinda shows some attraction to men, but it's predominantly with the image of them more than anything. Her feelings for Fiyero wither the moment they have sex.
* ''Fanfic/ShadowchasersSeries'': Kyon Rokudai is instantly smitten with Ace and constantly tries to help and woo her, but she mostly ignores him. In ''Fanfic/ShadowchasersTournamentOfShadows'', Ace reveals herself to be a lesbian when she falls in love with Kenshin. Kyon is furious and has the audacity to call Ace ungrateful for ignoring him, but several characters confront him with the fact that he never actually knew her and made an image of her in his mind. For example, he assumed that if he acts like her gallant knight and hero then he'll sweep her off her feet, but she is a tomboy and fighter who doesn't need men to save her (even if she wasn't a lesbian). He also assumed she's a fan of ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland'', but she's not.
* ''Fanfic/RivalsSeries'': Viktor's initial feelings for Yuuri are based entirely on who he perceived him to be, rather than who Yuuri actually ''is''. It takes the two [[spoiler:temporarily living together in Moscow]] for Viktor to see past his preconceptions, ultimately [[spoiler:falling in love with Yuuri the ''person'' rather than his imagined ideal]].
[[/folder]]
* Played to [[TearJerker/ChildrenOfTime tear-jerking]] effect in ''Fanfic/ChildrenOfTime'': Beth Lestrade is in love with Literature/SherlockHolmes, but Holmes himself changes until there's hardly anything left of himself. Beth still loves the ''real'' Sherlock Holmes, but that Sherlock Holmes no longer exists. As for Holmes's response to her pleas, it doesn't get much colder than this:
-->I suggest you relay your message to his shade, wherever it may roam, and cease to bore me with your melodramatic sentiments.
* ''Fanfic/DawnComesOnTheSunsetSea'': Marcus tells Robb that Theon only ''thinks'' he's in love with Ros, when it's purely a matter of physical attraction. If they were ''truly'' in love, Marcus asserts, Theon wouldn't have to pay for her affection.
* ''Fanfic/DungeonKeeperAmi'': [[OurElvesAreDifferent Venna's]] crush on [[WhiteMage Snyder]], is something along these lines, according to Snyder. Other characters, however, seem to find it cute, and occasionally tease him/arrange for them to be alone together.
* ''Fanfic/TheInfiniteLoops'' can have this, as every reality reboots various Loopers coming Awake for the first time have to deal with the Loopers that have been around for so much longer.
** A particularly tragic case involves Chrysalis, whose first loop Awake was a variant in which she was married to a nonAwake Shining Armor. The Looping Shining Armor is, as per [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic canon]], married to Cadence.
* ''Fanfic/TheManyDatesOfDannyFenton'': [[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Katie Kaboom]]'s interest in Danny formed due to a series of misunderstandings.
* ''Fanfic/ArrowRebirth'':
** Tommy's affection for Laurel gradually degrades into this the longer he spends with the League. Even Ra's al Ghul can't help but note that Tommy doesn't love her so much as lust after her.
** After Felicity dies and Oliver learns that she was plotting to murder Laurel, Oliver gradually comes to the realization that he never loved the ''real'' [[{{Yandere}} Felicity]], but rather the good person he wanted her to be. Later commentary suggests that none of Team Arrow knew and cared for the real Felicity either.
** Quentin realizes this was his relationship with Dinah after [[spoiler:he learns that she refused to return to Starling, even after Sara came back, in the previous timeline. As he puts it, she never really wanted their family at all]].
--->'''Quentin''': I really was in love with a mirage.
* ''Fanfic/ForgingABetterFuture'': During one of Oliver's therapy sessions, his therapist and him discuss relationships, and Oliver comes to the realization that his relationship with Felicity checks off every attribute of a TrophyHusband-relationship -- proving that she never really loved him but rather the idea of being the Green Arrow's wife. This, along with his lingering love for Laurel, is why Oliver chooses not to pursue a relationship with her again. [[spoiler:This only becomes even more obvious with TheReveal that Felicity had brainwashing powers and essentially forced him into a relationship with her, proving she was more concerned with living her personal fantasy than whatever feelings he had]].
* ''Fanfic/TheseFoolishThings'': Oliver admits that this is a major issue with him. He keeps trying to look for perfection in himself and in his significant others, and the entire situation with Felicity[[note]]In the story, Oliver breaks up with Felicity after she invades his privacy by hacking his private bank account and then tries to force him to cut Laurel and Thea out of his life when they call her out for her actions[[/note]] forces him to accept that he's not going to find it and that he needs to stop chasing after a fantasy and start living in real life.
* ''Fanfic/WhatItTakes'':
** In one of Oliver's dreams, his father Robert reveals that his relationship with Isabel was more of a byproduct of a HollywoodMidLifeCrisis. He wised up after Thea fell off her horse, and realized that if he stayed with her he'd be missing out on his family, on being there when they needed him.
** Oliver initially believes that his relationship with Felicity isn't this, as he cares about her far more than his father ever cared about Isabel, since she was his friend and teammate before she became his lover. [[spoiler:And then he finds out she's been lying to him for months and let their friends and loved ones out to dry in order to maintain their relationship and keep him "safe". So it is a case of this, just in a different way than Robert's relationship with Isabel. Whereas Robert chased after Isabel to feel young, Oliver wanted a genuine relationship with the person he thought Felicity was, instead of the selfish ControlFreak she ''actually'' was]].
* ''Fanfic/CrossAngeTheKnightOfHilda'': Salia develops an infatuation with [[OriginalCharacter Rio]], seeing him as a PrinceCharming[=/=]KnightInShiningArmor of sorts without really knowing him as a person. Her craving for genuine affection leads her to actually jump on Rio to try to seduce him, while he for his part is angry when she does this and tells her she's just confused.
* ''Fanfic/EverydayLifeWithUltimateGirls'': Chisa sincerely believed that Kyosuke wanted her to help everyone at Hope's Peak by exposing how corrupt the Steering Committee was, for the sake of the students and staff. Then she learns that Kyosuke's ''real'' plans are to [[spoiler:{{Blackmail}} the Steering Committee into making him the new Headmaster, with the intent of turning Hope's Peak into an AssimilationAcademy]]. He never cared about any of the people there beyond how he could profit from their existence. Upon learning this, the horrified Chisa immediately falls out of love with him.
* ''Fanfic/HopeOnADistantMountain'': Over time, Makoto begins to wonder whether he was falling in love with the Kyouko Kirigiri that he met inside the [[UnwinnableTrainingSimulation D-course simulation]]. As it turns out, his real classmates aren't quite the same as the fictional versions; in particular, Kyouko has a much ''nastier'' grudge against her father, and is willing to go to extreme lengths to hurt the headmaster, not caring who else gets caught in the crossfire.
* ''Fanfic/DannyPhantomLostEpisodesSeries'': ''Royal Pain'' has Danny realize that Paulina ThinksLikeARomanceNovel and is projecting that onto Danny Phantom, picturing him as the KnightInShiningArmor that she's ''destined'' to marry. This enables him to let go of his own crush on her, which he recognizes was just as shallow.
* ''Fanfic/DannyPhantomStranded'':
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomLost Lost]]'', Johnathan admits that his love for Stella blinded him to how she was nothing more than a self-absorbed RichBitch until it was too late.
** ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomMistaken Missing]]'': Poindexter had a crush on one of his classmates, but didn't know anything about her. He's surprised to learn that she became a race car driver, and that she married somebody who used to be a "tinkerer" rather than a football star like he'd assumed.
** In ''[[Fanfic/DannyPhantomEnvied Envied]]'', Meilin calls out Shi on this, declaring that she'll no longer be "the shadow he loves".
* In ''Fanfic/ResurrectedMemories'': [[spoiler:Ember spends some time worrying that Danny is an inverted case of this, fearing that he only likes her alter ego “Amberline” over her.]]
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/708720/chapters/1309448#workskin Big Brother Hal Explains It All]]'', [[WesternAnimation/GreenLanternTheAnimatedSeries Razer]] fears that he is only attracted to Aya because she modeled herself after his late wife, Ilana. Hal is able to convince Razer that he likes Aya for who she is rather than what she looks like, [[BigBrotherInstinct while also warning him that]] [[IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer he'll skin him alive if he hurts her]].
* ''Fanfic/TyrantlyEverAfter'':
** Artina suggests that this is one of Fenrich's biggest problems: rather than loving his Lord Valvatorez for who he ''is'', he's besotted with his own ideas of what he could ''become'', building grandiose plans around him taking his 'rightful position' at the top of Hades and regaining his former powers... while ignoring what Valvatorez ''himself'' wants.
** She also points out that Valvatorez has a similar issue when it comes to ''her''. In his head, he's got this idealized image of the woman he made [[ThePromise his promise]] to, and struggles to accept her flaws. Even as she becomes more willing to pursue a potential relationship with him, she insists on delaying it until he's able to break past that mindset and accept her as who she is.
* ''Fanfic/DarknessBurning'': Due to Anna's desperate desire to [[IJustWantToBeLoved feel loved by]] ''anyone'', she tends to latch onto her suitors very swiftly, besotted with the idea that they're the ones who can fill that void. This winds up repelling most of them.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013'' fanfic ''Fanfic/TheTornPrince'', Anna and Hans are instantly attracted to each other, causing Hans to impulsively propose. Later, Lars forces Hans to admit that he is merely deprived of love and to the point of seeing Anna as less of an object of affection but rather an escape from his miserable life. Later, Hans also forces Anna to admit that she only fell in love with the idea of him. [[spoiler:But during the months they spend together while Anna is ill in the Southern Isles, they gradually get to know each other and genuinely grow to love each other.]]
* ''WebAnimation/ReturnToKrocodileIsle'': Inverted; K. Rool is essentially ''hating'' a shadow. His image of Donkey Kong is of a stoic, almost Batman-esque superhero who understands and reciprocates K. Rool's personal hatred for him. In reality, [[spoiler:DK is the same absent-minded goof as in the TV show and completely forgot that K. Rool existed until he was back in front of him in ''Super Smash Bros. Ultimate'']].
* This isn't ''actually'' happening in ''[[Fanfic/TwiceUponAnAge All This Sh*t is Twice as Weird]]'', but one of the BigBad's minions tries to make [[VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition the Lady Inquisitor]] ''think'' it is; [[spoiler:the Nightmare]] implies that the people around her only care about her for what they think she is, and not for her as a person. She's not wholly convinced, but since she's already suffering a CrisisOfFaith at this point, she can't easily dismiss the idea either.
* ''Fanfic/TheSaviorKingTheMasterTacticianAndTheQueenOfLiberation'': Edelgard’s canonical crush with Byleth is reimagined as this. When [[spoiler:Thales]] offhandedly mentions that Byleth is in a relationship with [[{{Polyamory}} Claude and Dimitri]], she’s left devastated by the revelation. However, Edelgard has shown to be someone who disregards any kind of dissenting opinion, including Byleth's, and as a result; her connection with her is flimsy compared to Byleth’s connection to both Claude and Dimitri. Her heartbreak also has elements of [[EntitledToHaveYou entitlement]]; essentially, she “loves” Byleth, but she doesn’t truly know her in any meaningful way.
* ''Fanfic/PrayForUsIcarus'' has a complicated example with Aziraphale and Crowley when the latter begins to reincarnate as a human: while Aziraphale does genuinely love Crowley, he keeps wishing that the Crowley he's with was the demon who remembers the six millennia of their shared experiences on Earth instead of a human who has no memories of their past. As a result, while he's still happier with Crowley than he is with anyone else, he can't be fully happy with a Crowley who doesn't remember what they used to be.
-->The truth was that he found himself wishing it was the ''real'' Crowley who lay with him afterwards, murmuring softness against his neck, running worshipful fingers over his chest and stomach. Wishing those eyes were as gold and glimmering as they should be, wishing that smile was weighted with all their centuries together, wishing that Crowley would call him ''angel'', would call him by his true name. Wishing they'd found a way to do this long, long ago. Wondering if they would ever have the chance now, or if this pale echo was all he could hope for.
* ''Fanfic/PacificasRevenge'': Tyrone believes his mother Tracy was a deeply loving woman who expressed her devotion through all manner of small gestures before she and Dipper divorced, and gets very distressed whenever anyone insults or badmouths her. In reality, Tracy is a GoldDigger who only married Dipper because he'd gotten rich working for NASA. When they divorced, she took everything she could from Dipper, aside from the debts she'd wracked up and custody of their son.
* In ''Fanfic/BeCareful'', Lily Evans calls out the canon incarnation of Snape on this, stating that he never really cared about her as his ''friend'' so much as the fantasies he'd woven around her.
* ''Fanfic/PrincessOfTheBlacks'': When the Potters attempt to reconcile with their estranged daughter, Jen calls them out on this. Not only were they the ones who abandoned her in the first place, they only want the girl they've imagined in her stead back, not the one she's grown up to be.
-->'''Jen:''' Let's be honest, James, Lily. You don't want me... You want the daughter you ''could have had'', once upon a time. A daughter who acts and thinks like you do and does things you approve of. That's just not going to happen with me. The daughter you're looking for would be like [[spoiler:the late Ginny Weasley]], a nice, polite Gryffindor girl who supports the Light as the epitome of everything that is good and right in the world and looks forward to being a housewife. I'm a dark witch who worships Death and whose interest is rediscovering lost and forgotten magics. That's who you keep saying you want to bring into your family.
* In ''Webcomic/BeTheSeaDwellerLowblood'', Karkat's large number of hate-based flings are because [[spoiler:he hates himself so much that anyone who can tell him how he's a failure and a fake can turn him on]].
* ''Fanfic/HerdingCats'':
** Eridan projects all of his ideas of what Feferi ''should'' be onto her. Nepeta [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls him out]] on it.
** This also turns out to be why Sollux wouldn't fully commit to his relationship with Feferi. He'd been in love with [[spoiler:Aradia]], but believed they were unobtainable after [[spoiler:she was killed and subsequently possessed a robot]]. Feferi reminded him of the way the other used to be, so he was trying to make himself feel flushed for her and become her matesprit, only to find that it wasn't working.
* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2402970/1/Equal-Romance-02-Obscure-Ways-to-Devotion Equal Romance 02: Obscure Ways to Devotion]]'' has Kim start dating Josh Mankey after she essentially ends her friendship with Ron, but even before she realises that she cut Ron out of her life due to a misunderstanding, she realises that her attraction to Josh was purely superficial. When they actually spend time together, Kim and Josh can't truly engage with the other's interests and end up in their own groups when out at social events, to say nothing of Josh never truly supporting Kim the way Ron always would, culminating in the two of them breaking up at the Winter Formal.
* ''Fanfic/TheTouchOfGreenFire'': Josh Mankey's decreased relevance as the series went on is explained as being due to this. Kim thought she liked him because she figured she was supposed to, not because of genuine attraction. She moved on when he began dating someone else on the cheer squad.
* Several characters in ''Fanfic/NoGraveCanHoldMyBodyDown'':
** Rachel loves the goddess of Arcadia Bay, but only as a ''goddess''--not as a real flawed human whose power doesn't define her. Upon seeing the 'real' Max for the first time, Rachel has no idea what to do or say.
** Out of loneliness, Chloe projects her romantic feelings for Max onto Rachel.
--->''"When I touched your face to kiss you, you tilted your head down," Rachel says, and she takes her hands away. She doesn't look mad, and Chloe wishes she did. She just looks perplexed. "I'm an inch taller than you. It's not me. There's someone else."''
* ''Fanfic/{{Weightless|MassEffect}}'': Shepard spent 17 years in love with [[spoiler:Nihlus]] because he was [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe the first person who was nice to her]]. But later, she realized that she never knew about him as he had never let her in and that she was just in love with the idea of him.
* In general, [[FandomSpecificPlot it's very common for fanfics]] to {{Deconstruct|ion}} the LovesMyAlterEgo plot of the series by claiming either Adrien or Marinette (or both) are actually only in love with an ''idea'' of their partner, and not the real person. Typically this is either used to break up the pairing in favor of the author's prefered ship (particularly vindictive authors might use it to outright demonize whichever character they dislike in favor of the romantic partner they're using instead), or in more benign examples, allows for a more healthy and honest relationship to form once they get over their preconceptions. These also tend to run on the assumption that "Ladybug" and "Adrien" are fronts the characters put up, with "Marinette" and "Chat Noir" being more indicative of their real personalities, leading to this trope.
* [=NeutralMime's=] ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/38447836/chapters/112727180 Chameleon: alternate ending]]'' has this come into play during the 'Adrien version'. In short, Marinette informs Adrien of how she almost got akumatized after Lila threatened her in the bathroom. Adrien opts to focus on the ''almost'' and declares she just ''proved'' that she's [[BecauseYouCanCope strong enough to handle Lila]] ''without'' exposing her lying to the others. Then he learns that Lila was the one who'd stolen his father's book, nearly getting him yanked out of school, and promptly turns around and outs her himself. Seeing how abruptly he changed his tune upon realizing ''he'' was personally affected, Marinette realizes how [[ItsAllAboutMe self-centered]] he is and is left wondering what she ever thought she saw in him.
* ''[[Fanfic/TheLamentSeriesChaoticNeutral Chloé's Lament]]'': Due to Chloé being his OnlyFriend when they were younger, Adrien has convinced himself that he knows her better than the classmates she's been bullying for ''years''. It takes her betraying the heroes and [[TheBadGuyWins taking over Paris as Miracle Queen]] for him to finally recognize just how [[SpoiledBrat spoiled]] and [[ItsAllAboutMe self-absorbed]] she is, along with her complete LackOfEmpathy for others.
* ''Fanfic/{{I See What You Do Behind Closed Doors|MiraculousLadybug}}'':
** Adrien is in love with the ''idea'' of Ladybug -- namely, in the version of her that exists only inside the confines of his head, where she's merely "PlayingHardToGet" when she rejects his unwanted advances and is secretly into him. In fact, he is so besotted with her that he starts dating Marinette ''purely'' because he notices that she happens to resemble the object of his affections, unaware that [[LovesMyAlterEgo she IS Ladybug]].
** For her part, Marinette loves the boy she believes Adrien to be: a kind, compassionate young man whom she can count upon for support. Once they start dating, however, it doesn't take long for her to see BeneathTheMask -- especially after he tells her that he's Chat Noir.
* ''Fanfic/TheKarmaOfLies'': Marinette realizes that Adrien isn't the sweet, empathetic boy she'd thought he was when he not only [[BetrayalByInaction refuses to do anything about Lila]], but outright ''ignores'' her pain. Even when she confesses point-blank how she's on the verge of breaking down under the stress of being systematically isolated from her peers, he just smiles and 'reassures' her that [[BecauseYouCanCope she's strong enough to handle it]], making clear that he has no intention of ''listening'' to anything ''she'' has to say on the matter.
* ''Fanfic/LeaveForMendeleiev'': Aurore believes Adrien to be a NiceGuy who's a bit sheltered due to being a LonelyRichKid, and that he [[ObliviousToLove hasn't noticed how badly she's crushing on him]]. In reality, he's a BitchInSheepsClothing who's deliberately [[ObfuscatingStupidity feigning ignorance]] about her crush, being completely uninterested -- the only reason he's spending any time with her in the first place is that he's trying to get closer to Marinette.
* ''Fanfic/LongCon'' has Marinette realize that Adrien's BystanderSyndrome stems from how he's never had to deal with bullying himself before. This leads to her further realizing that she really doesn't know anything about him at all, resulting in her [[spoiler:amiciably falling out of love and giving up on her pursuit of him]].
* ''Fanfic/MarinetteDupainChengsSpitePlaylist'': Adrien combines this with LoveEpiphany after he nearly kisses Marinette, realizing both that he loves her and that he was merely infatuated with the ''idea'' of Ladybug and that he was somehow [[EntitledToHaveYou meant to be together with her]] simply because they were both superheroes.
* ''Fanfic/TheOneToMakeItStay'': While she gives up on pursuing Adrien very early on, over time, Marinette comes to realize that her crush on him was actually a case of this and that he wasn't the [[BecauseYouWereNiceToMe thoughtful, considerate]] PrettyBoy she believed him to be. Two incidents during ''[[WhamEpisode All the Laughs We Had in the Past]]'' serve to drive this home:
** First, she discovers that Adrien [[SecretIdentity is Chat Noir]]. This allows her to connect all of Chat Noir's [[EntitledToHaveYou entitled]], [[ItsAllAboutMe selfish behavior]] to her former crush, realizing that Adrien is the sort of person who refuses to take 'No' for an answer and has been getting increasingly harder to work with lately due to his [[GreenEyedMonster mounting jealousy]] of Viperion and the other heroes.
** Second, she learns that Adrien [[spoiler:found out about her former crush on him when he [[ExactEavesdropping overheard her and Alya]] arguing at the museum... and not only did he decide not to do anything ''with'' that knowledge, he actually ''[[NeverMyFault blames her]]'' for it]]. The fact that he sees ''himself'' as the victim in that situation proves to her beyond any shadow of a doubt that he's hopelessly self-absorbed.
** Adrien's feelings towards Ladybug, meanwhile, are another good example of this, though he fails to recognize that himself. To his mind, Ladybug is [[BecauseDestinySaysSo destined to be his partner]], and he [[ThinksLikeARomanceNovel firmly believes]] that if he [[DoggedNiceGuy just persists long enough]], she'll ''have'' to return his feelings. This leads him to [[NeverMyFault blame her]] for the mounting tension between them, and ultimately [[spoiler:ensures that he loses the ring to Miracle Queen when she disguises herself as Ladybug and pretends to reciprocate. Despite how he'd literally ''just'' had a huge argument with the real Ladybug, he accepts the Mirage because it's precisely what he wants to see: Ladybug giving in and doing what he wants]].
* ''Fanfic/OfPatienceAndPettiness'':
** Marinette fell for Adrien in the first place out of the belief that he was empathetic and compassionate. However, she reevaluates his character after he fails to help her with Lila, realizing that he [[SkewedPriorities tends to prioritize coddling the bullies than helping their victims]], and didn't care if ''she'' was hurting so long as she didn't do anything that threatened the illusion of 'peace' in their class.
** Adrien's situation [[PlayingWithATrope plays around with this]]. While he comes to realize that he didn't love Ladybug so much as he loved the ''idea'' of her -- the fictional version that he'd created inside his head -- he [[NeverMyFault blames her for this]]. There's also the DramaticIrony of his decision to move on by switching targets to Marinette, unaware that she's the same girl he originally pursued... and proceeding to make the exact same mistake of idealizing her and ignoring the fact that [[UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo she's no longer interested]].
* ''Fanfic/SoulmateSurvey'': [[LoonyFan Adrienne]] is completely attached to the idealized image she's built around Adrien. When she gets akumatized into Fandoom, Ladybug calls her out on this, simply asking "[[ArmorPiercingQuestion Do you know him?]]"
* ''Fanfic/TalesOfKarmicLiesAftermath'': In ''[[ShowWithinAShow Ladybug: Miraculous Journey]]'', Bridgette's crush upon Felix leaves her convinced that he's much nicer than he actually is. It takes his complete LackOfEmpathy when she recounts how scared she was when [[spoiler:Chat Noir threatened to kill her in a ShootTheHostage situation]] for her to realize just how wrong she was... while completely unaware that [[spoiler:Felix ''is'' Chat Noir]].
* ''Fanfic/TwoLetters'':
** After harassing Ladybug with his unwanted advances for roughly two years, Chat Noir finally gave up and switched targets [[DramaticIrony to Marinette]], right as Ladybug was so broken down that she was starting to grow receptive to his advances. When Luka points out that this makes it look as though [[NoChallengeEqualsNoSatisfaction he was only interested in the challenge]], Adrien denies it, while declaring that Ladybug should have just accepted he wasn't interested anymore and moved on [[MoralMyopia despite refusing to do so himself for so long]].
** Adrien's infatuation with Marinette is also shown to be this; he completely ignores her rebuffing him and spelling out [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech all her reasons for doing so]], heavily implying that [[EntitledToHaveYou he intends to claim her as his prize]] after he's dealt with the new Ladybug and Chat Noir.
** For her part, Marinette laments having fallen for Adrien's whole "Sunshine Boy" act, angrily questioning how she could have ''ever'' seen anything good in such a [[ItsAllAboutMe self-centered]] SpoiledBrat.
* ''Fanfic/WeightOffYourShoulder'':
** After Chloé's KarmaHoudiniWarranty runs out, Adrien scolds Marinette and the rest of the class for ''daring'' to be happy that she's finally facing consequences for her actions for once, claiming that they should take ''her'' feelings into account. This causes Marinette to realize that he was never the empathetic, compassionate young man she'd believed him to be; he repeatedly prioritizes the feelings of bullies like Chloé and Lila over those of their ''victims'', not caring about the pain they're causing to others.
** Adrien himself eventually realizes that he'd fallen into this with Chloé. Since he knew her back when she was [[UsedToBeASweetKid a sweet]], LonelyRichKid like him, troubled by her mother's ParentalNeglect, he convinced himself that he was the only person who knew "the ''real'' Chloé" and had to defend her from all her critics. The shock of learning that [[spoiler:his father was Hawk/Shadow Moth all along]] forces him to reevaluate everything he ''thought'' he knew, and he realizes that her FreudianExcuseIsNoExcuse for being a SpoiledBrat and bullying everyone around her.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/34787452 What Friends Do]]'', Alya calls Marinette a {{Hypocrite}} not just for using the same pushy, won’t-take-no-for-an-answer tactics on Adrien that she gets mad at Chat Noir for doing on her, but for claiming to be above this trope with Adrien, saying she loves him for who he is unlike all Adrien’s other {{Loony Fan}}s, when in reality, she is also blinded by his status and fame to the point where she still acts like a StalkerWithACrush even after two years, during which time she could have gotten over her nervousness if she’d just approached him and tried to talk to him instead of putting him up on a pedestal.
* ''Fanfic/{{What Goes Around Comes Around|MiraculousLadybug}}'': This serves as one of Adrien's {{Fatal Flaw}}s: rather than recognizing who people actually are, he creates ''heavily'' idealized concepts of who ''he'' believes they are and [[SelectiveObliviousness ignores anything]] that suggests otherwise.
** He believes that Chloé and Lila are just {{Lonely Rich Kid}}s like him and are only acting out for attention; of course they don't ''mean'' to hurt anyone with their tantrums and lies! Rather than being punished or having their misdeeds exposed, they need their victims to TurnTheOtherCheek and show them nothing but kindness, compassion and understanding, to the point that he sees ''Marinette'' [[BlamingTheVictim as the real problem]].
** He's also convinced that not only is he [[EntitledToHaveYou entitled to Ladybug/Marinette]] because they were chosen to bear the 'matched set' of the Ladybug Earrings and Black Cat Ring, but that Marinette '''must''' immediately put her own feelings aside and cater entirely to what ''HE'' wants in an AllTakeAndNoGive relationship as his 'perfect girlfriend'.
** This also applies to his parents; while both are {{Control Freak}}s who see their son as nothing more than an extension of their will, Adrien clings to his insistence that they truly love and care about him, and only have his best interests at heart, despite all evidence to the contrary. [[spoiler:It takes Emelie giving him a BreakingSpeech about his naivete for the truth to finally sink in.]]
* ''Fanfic/{{The Wolves in the Woods|MiraculousLadybug}}'':
** Lila sardonically notes how both she and Marinette fell into this trap with Adrien; Marinette believed he was a sweet, sensitive and thoughtful guy after he leant her his umbrella, while Lila was simply interested in his good looks and rich lifestyle. Both learned the hard way that he was actually a [[ItsAllAboutMe self-absorbed]] BitchInSheepsClothing.
** PlayedForDrama when Adrien [[SayingTooMuch lets slip]] that the only reason he dated Kagami was because she happened to look like Ladybug.
** While Marinette had been gradually coming to terms with this, she's still blindsided upon learning that Adrien [[spoiler:is Chat Noir]], causing her to realize just how far divorced he was from everything she believed about him.
* ''Fanfic/{{Your Wish is my Command|MiraculousLadybug}}'': Even after it becomes evident that the [[RealityWarpingIsNotAToy reality-altering Wish]] she made has created an Adrien who is fiercely independent and unwilling to tolerate her tricks, Lila clings to the image she had of the ''original'' Adrien being an ExtremeDoormat, and is determined to claim him as her subservient boyfriend.
* ''Fanfic/MonsterPromSeniorYear'': Vicky's crush on Scott is based entirely upon her perception of him rather than who he actually ''is''. Over time, she [[CharacterDevelopment gradually gets over this]].
* ''Fanfic/{{Cain}}'' plays this interestingly with Katsuki, as what he admires most about All Might and Pro Heroes is simply their raw power and the idea that [[InvincibleHero they always win]]. Not how they fight for justice, protect the innocent, or anything connected to moral character; in Katsuki's eyes, all of that is just done for publicity's sake. Due to this, and how he assumes [[PsychologicalProjection everybody else thinks just like him]], Katsuki proves incapable of grasping why Toshinori is so put off by his underhanded efforts to destroy Izuku's dreams and ObliviouslyEvil behavior. All of All Might's attempts to teach Katsuki what being Heroic is ''supposed'' to be about also fail, as Katsuki simply can't fathom the idea that morality -- and anyone [[ItsAllAboutMe aside from himself]] -- might actually ''matter''.
* ''Fanfic/CrimsonAndEmerald'': Due to how his idol Stain praises Hawks' heroics, Dabi develops a CelebrityCrush on him.
* ''Fanfic/{{Dekugate}}'' shows this as one of the perils of fame: All Might may be LovedByAll, but many are more invested in what they've projected onto them. For instance, the titular online community is full of {{Loony Fan}}s who have convinced himself that his [[HappilyMarried marriage]] is a sham, building an entire narrative around the idea that the HSPC forced him to leave his true love David Shield and ''made'' him marry Parakeet, with their son being nothing more than a product the HSPC is shilling. Thus, they spew all manner of hatred and bile towards his wife and son for the high crime of ''existing'' and getting in the way of their fantasies.
* In ''Izuku's Pro Hero Harem Life'', [[spoiler:Izuku gives Toga a lecture to this effect when her rehabilitation hits a snag in that she still hasn't internalized [[TheyJustDontGetIt why her previous actions and those of the League had to be stopped]]. Izuku points out Toga only admires an idealized, surface-level understanding of him and doesn't actually know him that well, and puts a temporary moratorium on their meetings. While Izuku assures Toga he's not abandoning her and is committed to helping her get better, Toga obviously doesn't take this well, exclaiming [[EntitledToHaveYou Izuku is supposed to be hers]] and [[VillainousBreakdown ending the conversation in tears]].]]
* ''Fanfic/{{Perfect Masks|MHA}}'': One of the problems Momo has run into while dating is suitors who only care about her public image as a Pro Hero. One of her relationships failed when she started letting her boyfriend see other, more private and personal facets of herself, only for him to mistake it for a SecretTestOfCharacter:
-->'''Momo:''' Makoto well, he was entranced by the image of Creati that I had made. When I started showing the other parts of me, the parts that enjoy Britpop Jazz and truly terrible light novels, he flinched and ran. Thought that I was testing his commitment, and he wasn't going to put up with that in a relationship.
* ''Fanfic/WithConfidence'': After All Might [[BrokenPedestal breaks his own pedestal]] by telling Izuku that he can't become a hero without a Quirk, Izuku calmly admits to him that he really liked the idea of having somebody like his idol support his dreams. But of course, he'd only ever seen what Toshinori presented to the media, not knowing what the ''real'' All Might was like... until now.
* ''Fanfic/AllTheWayBack'': Princess Luna recognizes that her feelings for Twilight Sparkle may have roots in this, as Twilight is the unknowing reincarnation of her OneTrueLove Dusk Skyshine.
* In the comic ''[[Blog/TheRoyalSketchbook Ascension]]'', Celestia starts flirting with Golden Vellum right away. However, it's more due to him being a stallion from outside of town than because she actually likes him. Celestia doesn't get to interact with many from outside her village.
* ''Fanfic/AndrogyninjasADropOfPoison'':
** Sakura realizes early on that she'd fallen into this with Sasuke; after [[ForWantOfANail getting paired off for a training match]] at the Academy, Sasuke gets upset at her managing a CurbStompCushion and declares that civilian-born shinobi are nothing more than glorified CannonFodder. This sparks her recognizing that he's an ArrogantKungFuGuy, and her crush on him soon dissipates.
** Naruto struggles with this as well; while he's nicer to Sakura than Sasuke is, he doesn't really see her for who she is. He's so far out of touch with her that he's completely blindsided by the revelation that she's been forced to kill on several of their missions, and angrily [[WhatTheHellHero calls her out]] for the CrimeOfSelfDefense... which only serves to convince her that he never really cared about her at all.
* ''Fanfic/AGrowingAffection'':
** Hinata admits that her initial infatuation with Naruto fell into this; she didn't know him very well at all back in the Academy, and was more in love with the ''idea'' of him. That led to a dramatic misunderstanding where she thought she overheard him insulting her, spurring her AnguishedDeclarationOfLove. Happily, the two are able to work things out, building a friendship that makes their eventual romance all the stronger.
** Naruto also accuses Sakura of this when she comes on to him, saying she doesn't know anything about him other than that he used to have a crush on her that he's since gotten over.
* ''Fanfic/{{Space to Breathe|Naruto}}'':
** While Sakura was originally ''thrilled'' that she ended up on the same team as Sasuke, spending so much time around her crush forced her to realize just how much she'd been projecting her own desires onto him. Not only was he completely uninterested in her, he proved to be [[ItsAllAboutMe so self-absorbed]] that she started worrying whether she could trust him as a ''teammate'', let alone a potential love interest. What's left of her crush crumbles apart around the time that she transfers out of Team Seven and takes an apprenticeship under Ibiki.
** Naruto [[PlotParallel has a similar problem]] when it comes to Sakura herself. Rather than appreciating her for who she is, he's more invested in the notion of her being a prize he can win, somebody he's competing with Sasuke to win over... despite Sasuke's complete disinterest. Sakura eventually [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech calls him out on it]].
* ''Fanfic/{{What You Knead|Naruto}}'': Spending time with her new teammates forces Sakura to recognize that she didn't really know Sasuke that well at all, and was fawning after the idealized image she'd created of him. The fact that Sasuke recklessly endangered her life during the Bell Test by attacking Kakashi while he had a kunai near her neck didn't help much, either.
* ''Fanfic/AdviceAndTrust'':
** Asuka had a crush on her guardian Kaji because she longed for being acknowledged and treated as an adult and he was the only decent father figure she had known. After hooking up with Shinji and realizing Kaji was infatuated with Misato, she dropped her crush right away.
** Ritsuko was in love with Gendo but she did not know him at all.
** At the same time she thinks Maya's crush on her is idol worship because Maya did not know her real self.
* ''Fanfic/TheDeathOfOne'':
** Asuka decides that sleeping with Ikari would enable her to have some memory of "making love to Shinji". Ikari angrily rejects her advances, declaring that he's his own person.
** Ikari also asks Rei if she sees him as a replacement for Shinji, she asserts that he's his own person. However, she later admits that she did indeed love Shinji, and got together with Ikari out of loneliness.
* In ''Fanfic/NeonGenesisEvangelionGenocide'', Ritsuko is angry and spiteful because she's realized Gendo wasn't the person she believed he was, and he actually never loved her.
* ''Fanfic/TheOneILoveIs'': Asuka had a crush on Kaji because he was handsome and manly. Later on, she admits that he wasn't the person that she believed that he was.
* ''Fanfic/TheSecondTry'': After maturing a bit, Asuka admits to Shinji and herself that she didn't really love Kaji. She had a "delusional crush" on him because he represented the adult world that she wanted to be a part of. In a scene, while she sleeps with Shinji, Asuka wonders about the difference between being in love and thinking you're in love.
-->"But what if there weren't other people? Who could judge if you were in love or if you'd just experience a crush on someone; if you just ''think'' you are in love?"
* In ''Fanfic/StraightThrough'', Yosuke becomes infatuated with Yukari in much the same way he did with Saki before, much to Yukari's annoyance.
* ''Fanfic/BeyondTheWindingRoad'': Both Anderson and Gilbert have difficulty looking past the "half-truth of a superimposed image" they paint on Oz.
** Andy loves his brother Lewis, but doesn't understand his connection to Oz Vessalius or how it's shaped his identity as Oz worked through his reincarnation-induced Disassociative Identity Disorder. He also doesn't understand why Lewis now chooses to go by Oz, seeing it as the name of his alternate personality.
** Gilbert, meanwhile, is eternally devoted to Oz ''Vessalius'', but doesn't know anything about Lewis "Oz" Tale or how the last fifteen years of his reincarnated life has shaped him into who he is today.
* ''Fanfic/AshsComa'' reimagines the anime as AdventuresInComaland. While Misty was based off somebody he's seen in real life, he didn't actually ''know'' her, and her personality is entirely his own invention.
* The drabble ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13549460/1/ Fix You]]'' explores this with Serena and Misty. As both of them knew Ash in different stages of his life, Serena has a hard time accepting the less-than-nice aspects of his personality. Misty calls her out on it, telling her she's made herself a "perfect" image of Ash and proceeds to tell her she never saw him when he was brash, selfish, a bit of a SoreLoser, and prone to UnsportsmanlikeGloating. The implication is that Misty is aware of Ash's flaws, [[WartsAndAll yet she accepts them as a part of him and loves him nonetheless]]. It's also somewhat downplayed in that Serena's feelings are no less genuine than Misty's, but she acknowledges that she needs to know Ash more.
* ''Fanfic/PowerRangersGPX'': Pink Ranger Hitomi has a crush on Red Ranger Sean, but as the narration points out, she was enamored with what he represented, freedom from her strict family. He was never once interested in her except as a little sister figure and instead fell in love with Yellow Ranger Maria Aparicio. Unlike some other examples, Hitomi is a [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy graceful loser]] and eventually finds real love [[spoiler:with an elf girl]].
* ''Fanfic/AuntSalem'': The Cult of Salem's followers have a zealous devotion to Jaune. But it isn't Jaune the person they are enamored with, but with the child of the family whom Salem has blessed. They thus imagine Jaune as having far more power and prowess than he actually does. Jaune himself is disappointed and exasperated by all this, thinking he is getting praise and help he hasn't actually earned. Only [[OnlySaneMan Ren]] avoids this.
* In ''Fanfic/LearningToBloom'', Weiss' crush on Neptune is compared to Jaune's crush on Weiss (which only lasted a few weeks). It's a surface-level attraction based on his looks and charisma. Weiss' feelings for Neptune wither quickly after realizing he's not what she imagined him as, but she still continues to date him because she wants to make their relationship work. In the end, she ends up leaving him for Pyrrha.
* ''Fanfic/{{Raise}}'': Weiss' attraction towards Jaune stems mainly from the stories she's seen and heard about him resurrecting others, and she seems incapable of separating said powers from his identity. When he suggests taking a day off so that they can celebrate his birthday together, she's aghast at the notion that he would "let people die". Later, after he's exhausted nearly all of his Aura resurrecting victims of a White Fang attack, she protests Elm suggesting that he take a break, insisting that he can surely save at least one more person. Willow tells her outright that she doesn't love Jaune at all, merely the ''idea'' of him and what he can accomplish with his abilities.
* ''Fanfic/AThornAmongstTheFlowers'': Luo Binghe forces Shen Qingqiu to marry him after getting a glimpse of another world in which the man doted on him. Shen Qingqiu is thoroughly disgusted to learn this and bluntly tells the half-demon that he's infatuated with a mirage.
* Done in ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/u/27015/The-Prime-Minister The Prime Minister's]]'' epic series about the relationship between Xellos and Lina Inverse. [[spoiler:After the Anime series, Lina and Gourry are in a romantic relationship. During Amelia and Zelgadis' wedding, the two have a fight, resulting in Lina leaving Gourry because she is afraid of commitment, which Gourry wants after being with her for over a year. She runs into Xellos and the two have an affair that leads to two children over the years while having many adventures together. However, Lina grows to resent and hate Xellos, because she believes he tricked her and longs to be with Gourry again, even naming her son after him. This leads to many fights between the two over a long period of time. It's not until Lina meets him again over a decade later that she realized she left Gourry because she truly didn't love him like he still loved her, and she chose to be with Xellos, because she does love him, but couldn't bring herself to admit it once again because of fearing commitment and being dependent on another person.]]
* ''Fanfic/BequeathedFromPaleEstates'' makes clear that Robert never really loved the real Lyanna by having him develop a lustful attraction towards her niece[[spoiler:/daughter]] Lyarra, simply because he sees her as being a "perfected" version of Lyanna in terms of appearance.
* In ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/46318249/chapters/116615050 What If...? Catelyn Tully]]'', Catelyn, in a moment of rage after an argument she had with Ned over Jon, makes a wish that Ned's brother Brandon, to whom she was originally betrothed and courted by, didn't die. She then wakes up in her childhood bedroom as her younger self in an alternate timeline where [[ForWantOfANail the Mad King Aerys II died earlier on]], allowing Rhaegar to become king and avoid the events that led to Brandon's death and Robert's Rebellion. She's initially ecstatic, only to quickly [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor realize she didn't really know Brandon all that well]] outside of their brief meetings, with things rapidly degrading into an AwfulWeddedLife.
* In ''Fanfic/ThereAndBackAgain'', Jon Arryn believes Robert is simply projecting the torch he still carries for the late Lyanna (whom he never really knew as a person) onto Sansa as a ReplacementGoldfish when the latter announces he'll betroth himself to her after finding out about Cersei's affair with Jaime.
* ''Fanfic/UnbreakableRedSilkenThread'': Cody realizes his feelings for Gwen were this after a talk with Noah.
* ''Fanfic/TransformersAnimatedCybertronianGenesis'': Elita-1 was the love of Optimus Prime's lifecycle, which is why, no matter how hard tries, he cannot seem to let go of Blackarachnia. However, as far as Blackarachnia is concerned, Elita-1 is dead. Even more, there is evidence that suggests that the Elita Optimus loved never existed in the first place.
* Notably both [[spoiler:Clone!]]Sakura and [[spoiler:Real!]]Syaoran avert this in ''Fanfic/{{Shatterheart}}'' as they both refused to do this. While they both realize that the other is similar to their lover, they realize the other is too different to be their actual love.
* ''Fanfic/{{Verdigris}}'': Glinda shows some attraction to men, but it's predominantly with the image of them more than anything. Her feelings for Fiyero wither the moment they have sex.
* ''Fanfic/ShadowchasersSeries'': Kyon Rokudai is instantly smitten with Ace and constantly tries to help and woo her, but she mostly ignores him. In ''Fanfic/ShadowchasersTournamentOfShadows'', Ace reveals herself to be a lesbian when she falls in love with Kenshin. Kyon is furious and has the audacity to call Ace ungrateful for ignoring him, but several characters confront him with the fact that he never actually knew her and made an image of her in his mind. For example, he assumed that if he acts like her gallant knight and hero then he'll sweep her off her feet, but she is a tomboy and fighter who doesn't need men to save her (even if she wasn't a lesbian). He also assumed she's a fan of ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland'', but she's not.
* ''Fanfic/RivalsSeries'': Viktor's initial feelings for Yuuri are based entirely on who he perceived him to be, rather than who Yuuri actually ''is''. It takes the two [[spoiler:temporarily living together in Moscow]] for Viktor to see past his preconceptions, ultimately [[spoiler:falling in love with Yuuri the ''person'' rather than his imagined ideal]].
[[/folder]]
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[[folder:Music]]
* "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" by Music/JohnMayer features Mayer singing to some unknown woman, warning her that he is nothing but trouble and will only lead to heartbreak. He drives the point home with this verse:
-->Who do you love?\\
Girl I see through, through your love\\
Who do you love? Me or the thought of me? Me or the thought of me?
* [[http://lyricwiki.org/Lunik:Candle Candle]] by Lunik:
-->dreaming all day long\\
you're too perfect to be real\\
did I just make you up how I wished you to be?\\
dreaming with the curtains closed between shades and candlelight\\
was it all just in my mind and now I'm losing it?
* "Shadow" by Music/MariaMena is a good example of this trope in reverse: ''Trying hard to be someone I don't even know/ I feel like a shadow/ walking behind who you think I am/... / thought I'd light me bright and new/ but my candle burnt out long before you.'' Likewise, Music/{{Boston}}'s "A Man I'll Never Be."
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMXG7kM8YZk Conceiving You]] by Riverside is about eventually giving up the actual person to love the shadow.
%%* "The One You Really Love" by The Magnetic Fields.
* "Ten Years Gone" from ''Music/PhysicalGraffiti'' by Led Zeppelin
--> 'Vixen in my dreams, of great surprise to me; in the midst I see your face the way it used to be''
* "Behavior" by Steel Train.
-->A pretty girl.\\
Followed her around the world.\\
And when I caught her she said to me:\\
"Look, at love, it's nothing but a shadow.\\
Where you saw, a heart, that was hollow.\\
Look, at you. You've been chasing shadows."\\
And then I woke up.
* "Her Pretender" by Off Course. Though it does turn out okay in the end since the singer sticks around as "her someone else" long enough for her to see him as himself.
-->Like an illusion surrounded by fantasy\\
A lover’s confusion; she only sees what she wants to see\\
I guess I’m just an imitator soon to be\\
The love I feel was never meant for me
* "Love Through Her" by The Weeknd
-->Am I going crazy?\\
Do I need some therapy to get shorty out of my mind?\\
Girl, my head is racing\\
Heard shorty's been needing the rest of my mind\\
\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Am I make love to you through her?\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Love through her (love through her)
* "Shadow Lover" by Music/MaryJaneGirls is about [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly this]]
* A track from Music/{{Rush|Band}}'s ''Music/ClockworkAngels'' involves the narrator falling in love, only to realize when he is rebuffed that he had created an idealized woman in his mind and then attempted to graft his delusions onto a real person; he admits this was not the first time he has done this. The song is even called ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Halo Effect]]''.
* "A Forest" by Music/{{The Cure|Band}}, from ''Music/SeventeenSecondsAlbum'', if interpreted metaphorically, has the protagonist looking for a girl who is supposedly lost, only to find out she "was never there". He then realizes, lost himself, he just ran "towards nothing", which we assume is not the first time in his life.
-->The girl was never there, it's always the same\\
I running towards nothing [[BrokenRecord again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agaiiiin!]]
* The song "Flawless" from Music/TheNeighbourhood is about the singer falling in love with an idealized, 'flawless' girl that he starts a relationship with... and then falls out of love with when he gets to know her and realizes that she's human and flawed the way everyone is.
* Music/PoetsOfTheFall's "[[https://youtu.be/MKk1u5RMTn4?list=PLjACqN5i5sDWIIpg-5EB4WcitMMqnXhFP Carnival of Rust]]" has singer Zoltar, a decaying automaton stuck in his fortuneteller's booth, desperate to leave the [[CircusOfFear Carnival]]. It's clear that his pleas and demands for love from his latest customer stem from self-interested WishfulProjection. He taints her {{Tarot|Troubles}} reading by declaring her "The Star," his MessiahFigure, instead of recognizing her as a person in her own right, and as a result, his affections go unreciprocated.
* "Who's That Girl" by Robyn
-->Who's that girl? That you dream of\\
Who's that girl? That you think you love\\
Who's that girl? What if I'm nothing like her?
* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
* "Slow, Love, Slow" by Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} has these lines:
-->I wonder\\
Do I love you or the thought of you?
* "Dream Boy" by Music/{{Waterparks}} is all about this.
--> Awsten Knight: It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you – an unwarranted one, at that – where people look at you as a certain thing...they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment – on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!
* "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia refers to "him" (the imagined lover) and "you" (the actual person) as [[TwoPersonLoveTriangle separate people]]. Per the chorus: "Illusion never changed / Into something real."
-->I thought I saw a man brought to life\\
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified\\
He showed me what it was to cry\\
[[WhamLine Well, you couldn't be that man I adored]]\\
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for\\
But I don't know him anymore\\
There's nothing where he used to lie\\
The conversation has run dry\\
That's what's going on
* Music/TearsForFears: This is the meaning behind "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwpqNJYp-fw I Love You But I'm Lost]]", as Roland Orzabal [[https://www.nme.com/news/music/tears-fears-unveil-i-love-you-but-im-lost-video-tour-tickets-2177818 explains:]]
-->This song is about the haziness, the blurred lines within a relationship, the sense of having someone and losing someone in the same instant; like putting your arms around that person only for them to instantly disappear into vapours, the idea or ideal of someone who is impossible to pin down or own.
* Music/ArianaGrande: "in my head" is about how Ariana invented a version of a man that wasn't reality. The opening is a voicemail from a friend of hers that describes this phenomenom:
-->Here's the thing: you're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only person you can fix is yourself. I love you, this has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away, I'm coming over.​
* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up with a woman he once knew, around whom he has built a fantasy that they were once in love and could be again. Although she is polite and kind, it is obvious that she barely remembers him and doesn't feel the same way.
* "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" by Music/JohnMayer features Mayer singing to some unknown woman, warning her that he is nothing but trouble and will only lead to heartbreak. He drives the point home with this verse:
-->Who do you love?\\
Girl I see through, through your love\\
Who do you love? Me or the thought of me? Me or the thought of me?
* [[http://lyricwiki.org/Lunik:Candle Candle]] by Lunik:
-->dreaming all day long\\
you're too perfect to be real\\
did I just make you up how I wished you to be?\\
dreaming with the curtains closed between shades and candlelight\\
was it all just in my mind and now I'm losing it?
* "Shadow" by Music/MariaMena is a good example of this trope in reverse: ''Trying hard to be someone I don't even know/ I feel like a shadow/ walking behind who you think I am/... / thought I'd light me bright and new/ but my candle burnt out long before you.'' Likewise, Music/{{Boston}}'s "A Man I'll Never Be."
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMXG7kM8YZk Conceiving You]] by Riverside is about eventually giving up the actual person to love the shadow.
%%* "The One You Really Love" by The Magnetic Fields.
* "Ten Years Gone" from ''Music/PhysicalGraffiti'' by Led Zeppelin
--> 'Vixen in my dreams, of great surprise to me; in the midst I see your face the way it used to be''
* "Behavior" by Steel Train.
-->A pretty girl.\\
Followed her around the world.\\
And when I caught her she said to me:\\
"Look, at love, it's nothing but a shadow.\\
Where you saw, a heart, that was hollow.\\
Look, at you. You've been chasing shadows."\\
And then I woke up.
* "Her Pretender" by Off Course. Though it does turn out okay in the end since the singer sticks around as "her someone else" long enough for her to see him as himself.
-->Like an illusion surrounded by fantasy\\
A lover’s confusion; she only sees what she wants to see\\
I guess I’m just an imitator soon to be\\
The love I feel was never meant for me
* "Love Through Her" by The Weeknd
-->Am I going crazy?\\
Do I need some therapy to get shorty out of my mind?\\
Girl, my head is racing\\
Heard shorty's been needing the rest of my mind\\
\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Am I make love to you through her?\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Love through her (love through her)
* "Shadow Lover" by Music/MaryJaneGirls is about [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly this]]
* A track from Music/{{Rush|Band}}'s ''Music/ClockworkAngels'' involves the narrator falling in love, only to realize when he is rebuffed that he had created an idealized woman in his mind and then attempted to graft his delusions onto a real person; he admits this was not the first time he has done this. The song is even called ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Halo Effect]]''.
* "A Forest" by Music/{{The Cure|Band}}, from ''Music/SeventeenSecondsAlbum'', if interpreted metaphorically, has the protagonist looking for a girl who is supposedly lost, only to find out she "was never there". He then realizes, lost himself, he just ran "towards nothing", which we assume is not the first time in his life.
-->The girl was never there, it's always the same\\
I running towards nothing [[BrokenRecord again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agaiiiin!]]
* The song "Flawless" from Music/TheNeighbourhood is about the singer falling in love with an idealized, 'flawless' girl that he starts a relationship with... and then falls out of love with when he gets to know her and realizes that she's human and flawed the way everyone is.
* Music/PoetsOfTheFall's "[[https://youtu.be/MKk1u5RMTn4?list=PLjACqN5i5sDWIIpg-5EB4WcitMMqnXhFP Carnival of Rust]]" has singer Zoltar, a decaying automaton stuck in his fortuneteller's booth, desperate to leave the [[CircusOfFear Carnival]]. It's clear that his pleas and demands for love from his latest customer stem from self-interested WishfulProjection. He taints her {{Tarot|Troubles}} reading by declaring her "The Star," his MessiahFigure, instead of recognizing her as a person in her own right, and as a result, his affections go unreciprocated.
* "Who's That Girl" by Robyn
-->Who's that girl? That you dream of\\
Who's that girl? That you think you love\\
Who's that girl? What if I'm nothing like her?
* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
* "Slow, Love, Slow" by Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} has these lines:
-->I wonder\\
Do I love you or the thought of you?
* "Dream Boy" by Music/{{Waterparks}} is all about this.
--> Awsten Knight: It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you – an unwarranted one, at that – where people look at you as a certain thing...they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment – on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!
* "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia refers to "him" (the imagined lover) and "you" (the actual person) as [[TwoPersonLoveTriangle separate people]]. Per the chorus: "Illusion never changed / Into something real."
-->I thought I saw a man brought to life\\
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified\\
He showed me what it was to cry\\
[[WhamLine Well, you couldn't be that man I adored]]\\
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for\\
But I don't know him anymore\\
There's nothing where he used to lie\\
The conversation has run dry\\
That's what's going on
* Music/TearsForFears: This is the meaning behind "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwpqNJYp-fw I Love You But I'm Lost]]", as Roland Orzabal [[https://www.nme.com/news/music/tears-fears-unveil-i-love-you-but-im-lost-video-tour-tickets-2177818 explains:]]
-->This song is about the haziness, the blurred lines within a relationship, the sense of having someone and losing someone in the same instant; like putting your arms around that person only for them to instantly disappear into vapours, the idea or ideal of someone who is impossible to pin down or own.
* Music/ArianaGrande: "in my head" is about how Ariana invented a version of a man that wasn't reality. The opening is a voicemail from a friend of hers that describes this phenomenom:
-->Here's the thing: you're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only person you can fix is yourself. I love you, this has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away, I'm coming over.​
* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up with a woman he once knew, around whom he has built a fantasy that they were once in love and could be again. Although she is polite and kind, it is obvious that she barely remembers him and doesn't feel the same way.
to:
*
* In ''Literature/AlwaysComingHome'', that’s how Stone Telling views her mother’s love toward Terter Abhao. She never knew his people’s culture, so how could she know the kind of man he really was?
* In ''Literature/CarryOn'', Simon thinks that he and Agatha are destined to become married and live happily ever after but he's really more in love with the idea of having something normal and stable in his chaotic life that he can rely on than with Agatha herself and she breaks up with him because she doesn't want to be just the "prize" he gets at the end of the story. Similarly, Agatha's crush on Simon's nemesis Baz is shown to be more her desperately wanting a purpose outside of "the hero's perfect girlfriend" than her actually being in love with Baz.
* In the Creator/MaryHigginsClark novel ''Literature/ACryInTheNight'', the relationship between Jenny and her artist husband Erich is like this from both sides. Jenny loves the gentle sensitive guy that she believes Erich must be based on his paintings; Erich loves Jenny because she looks like his dead mother. Needless to say, this does not end well. Jenny slowly comes to realize that everything she loves and admires in Erich is purely an act and that she doesn't know the real him at all. She later admits that she began to suspect he wasn't what he appeared long before, but was too afraid to look under his mask. She also frequently has to remind Erich that she's ''not'' like his mother (whom he also has an overly-idealized and unrealistic view of).
* ''Literature/DaughterOfTheSun'': Orsina belatedly realizes that her love for her former lover Perlita was never entirely true, since Perlita's not who she thought. She's a far more selfish, uncaring person that Orsina ever believed earlier.
* Baili Qingmiao from ''Literature/DevilVenerableAlsoWantsToKnow'', after spending a long time obsessing over He Wenzhao even after he kept breaking her heart and proving that he wasn't half as devoted to her as she was to him, realizes that her love was mainly just her [[InLoveWithLove being in love with the idea of selflessly sacrificing herself for romance]] and not wanting to give up on the hope that her sacrifices would eventually be repaid one day.
* In Creator/TimPowers' ''Literature/DinnerAtDeviantsPalace'', Greg Rivas spends thirteen years failing to get over a girl he loved whose rich father had him thrown out of town. Then the father hires him to rescue her from a cult, which he succeeds at doing after many painful adventures. Along the way, he realizes that his inability to let go had more to do with their violent separation than their actual connection, and that left to themselves they'd have drifted apart anyway. When they're reunited he finds that she's just a naive rich girl without much in the way of personality or accomplishments to recommend her, so he takes her back to her father and gets on with his life.
* In the ''Literature/{{Dragonlance}} Legends'' series:
** Warlord Kitiara and Elf wizard Dalamar hook up. Kitiara is the half-sister of Dalamar's master, and still not over [[HalfHumanHybrid Tanis Half-Elven]].
** Raistlin himself has this for [[spoiler:Laurana]] in ''Dragons of the Hourglass Mage'', and though he realizes that what he feels isn't anything more than a crush inspired by her beauty and non-negative reaction to him, he spends a chunk of the book trying to find ways to rescue her [[BadassInDistress from Kitiara's clutches]] if the opportunity arises [[spoiler:(it doesn't, but he still has brief imagine-spots of rescuing her]].)
* In K.A. Knaak's ''Literature/{{Dragonrealm}}'', Gwendolyn originally falls for Cabe Bedlam because of his similarities with his grandfather Nathan, who was once her lover; but later she falls for all those peculiarities that make Cabe himself.
* In ''Literature/TheGenoveseMerchantsDaughter'' by Mikhail Kuzmin, five sisters discuss their love for their husbands. Caterina loves hers for his kindness and honesty, Petronella loves hers for his painter's talent, Veronica loves hers for his wealth, Martha loves hers for his gorgeous looks, and Philomena says she loves hers no matter what and is promptly laughed at. Then their husbands get involved in a political plot, and the honest man betrays the rest, the painter loses his eyes, and the handsome man gets scarred in the ensuing fight, and all of them are stripped of their riches. It's easy to guess which one of the sisters does ''not'' abandon her husband afterwards.
* In Creator/JohnCWright's ''[[Literature/TheGoldenOecumene Golden Transcendence]]'':
** Phaethon realizes that most of his love for Daphne Prime was inspired by Daphne Tercius, even when she was a doll and not an emancipated partial.
** Daphne Prime reveals that, in the BackStory, she approached Phaethon to get to Helion because she was in love with the idea of a man who preserved the life of the sun, and when she met Helion, did not like him at all.
* In Creator/EdgarRiceBurroughs's ''[[Literature/JohnCarterOfMars The Gods of Mars]]'', Thuvia professes her love for John Carter and is unmoved by his speaking of Dejah Thoris--not that she would ever dream of rivaling her. He tells her "Forget your foolish gratitude-begotten infatuation, which your innocence has mistaken for love." [[spoiler:Well, she does manage to [[CleaningUpRomanticLooseEnds take up with Carthoris by the end]].]]
* In ''Literature/GoneWithTheWind,'' Scarlett finally realises -- too late -- that her supposed true love for Ashley is "only a sort of dream I had when I was a little girl".
* One of the more critical parts of ''Literature/TheGreatGatsby'' is when Gatsby, in an affair with his childhood sweetheart Daisy, is revealed to love the ''idea'' of her, an idea which she doesn't and can't realize. When he tries to get her to renounce her love for her husband Tom, she's unable to respond and the climactic chapter is where the affair falls apart in spectacular fashion.
* In Diane Hoh's ''Guilty'', Katie Sullivan believes that somebody is stalking her and plans to kill her because they blame her for the death of her boyfriend, Brownie. [[spoiler:It turns out that Katie is being stalked by one of her friends, and that he was the one responsible for Brownie's death. He was trying to kill Katie because, in actuality, Katie went through a massive personality overhaul as a result of Brownie's death. She wasn't "guilty" for Brownie's death, she was "guilty" for killing the old her, whom everyone used to refer to as Kit.]]
* ''Literature/HarryPotter'':
** Harry's crush on Cho Chang, which throughout the [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix fifth book]] comes off as Harry being desperate for someone other than [[HeterosexualLifePartners Ron]] and [[LikeBrotherAndSister Hermione]] who believes and understands his angst and frustration over the Cedric, Ministry, and Voldemort issues. His crush on Cho was mostly based on an idealized view coming from how pretty, popular and Quidditch-adept she was, aside from how she treated him kindly in a constant manner. In the meantime, the [[BreakTheCutie emotionally crushed Cho]] is trying to wrap herself up in the memories of her tragically cut short relationship with Cedric Diggory by latching onto the person who was closest to him when he died. However, they had barely shared anything close to real conversations, and the relationship is ended about three-quarters of a way into the book.
** Hermione says that Romilda Vane is only interested in Harry because he's TheChosenOne.
* In ''[[Literature/MercyThompson Iron Kissed]]'', [[spoiler:Samuel and Mercy simultaneously come to the epiphany that he's not jealous of her flirting with a stranger because he's fallen out of love with her. His jealousy in the previous two books is handwaved as "teasing", despite the fact that he nearly came to blows to Adam.]]
* Several examples in the works of Creator/JacquelineWilson:
** Destiny's mother in ''Literature/LittleDarlings'' didn't really know the father of her daughter, and was caught up in a fantasy she associated with his being a rock star.
** In the first book of the ''Literature/{{Girls}}'' series, Ellie develops an attraction to Kevin, an older boy she has seen around town but never really met or spoken to. She later develops a relationship with Dan (a boy her own age) and has to accept that Kevin will never live up to her romantic fantasies as he is gay; however, Ellie and Kevin do form a genuine platonic friendship.
** Marigold from ''Literature/TheIllustratedMum'' has idolized Micky as the love of her life for years but fails to realize that he does not want anything to do with her. Micky is more interested in his daughter, Star, and is implied to find Marigold's unusual ways intolerable. Marigold got together with Michael, Dolphin's father, mostly because he had nearly the same name.
** Drives the plot of ''Literature/FallingApart''. Tina falls for the older, [[UptownGirl more socially advanced]] Simon and soon convinces herself that he is
** Sylvie, the protagonist of ''Literature/Kiss2007'', has grown up in very close proximity to her friend Carl. She has always believed they would get married one day, and as they become teenagers she clings to this image, seeing Carl as a Prince Charming figure and convinced he will
-->Who do you love?\\
Girl I see through, through your love\\
Who do you love? Me or the thought
*
-->dreaming all day long\\
you're too perfect to be real\\
did I just make you up how I wished you to be?\\
dreaming
was it all just in my mind and now I'm losing it?
* "Shadow" by Music/MariaMena is
* During the climax of the second act of ''Literature/JaneEyre'' Mr. Rochester confesses to Jane that this mentality is why he has been unsuccessful as a husband and a lover—he does not take the time to get to know women prior to getting involved with them, leading to massive disappointment on all sides. He feels as though he has found the ideal female companion in Jane, but this only proves to Jane that he does not truly know '''her''' either, as her stated principles will not allow her to be involved with a married man, regardless of how much she loves him.
* ''Literature/JurgenAComedyOfJustice'' by Creator/JamesBranchCabell features a garden inhabited only by imaginary creatures, including fairies, centaurs, and "all the women that any man has ever loved."
*
%%* ''Literature/TheLastDragonChronicles'': Lucy's crush on Tam can be seen like this, considering that she ended up with said crush through email correspondence with him.
* In Creator/AlgernonCharlesSwinburne's libertine novel ''Literature/LesbiaBrandon'', the young protagonist Bertie meets his love interest [[SpiritedYoungLady Lesbia]] for the first time [[WholesomeCrossdresser while disguised as a girl]] and [[AttractiveBentGender she's into it]]. Unfortunately, as her name indicates, [[IncompatibleOrientation she's not into men]] and after the inevitable UnsettlingGenderReveal both she and Bertie are left to sort out their feelings - Lesbia struggling to understand her residual attraction to Bertie despite his assigned sex, and Bertie trying to come to terms with the fact that he enjoyed the idea of being courted by
* ''Literature/{{Lolita}}'': Humbert Humbert himself explains his obsession with Lolita in the first few pages, claiming that his unconsummated relationship with [[YouRemindMeOfX Annabel caused him to be attracted to "nymphets"]]. Humbert claims that Dolores Haze eventually
* In ''Literature/LookingForAlaska'', Alaska [[DiscussedTrope discusses this trope]] when she tells Pudge that he doesn't love ''her''; he loves the version of her that he imagines her to be.
* In Creator/JRRTolkien's ''Literature/LordOfTheRings'', Éowyn hates her confined life. [[TropeNamer She meets Aragorn and convinces herself she's in love because he's life outside]]. When Aragorn heals her in ''The Return of the King'', she doesn't respond to his calling her, but she instantly reacts when her brother Éomer, whom she loves as a real person rather than a shadow, calls her. Aragorn spots the trope as soon as the event happens, and eventually gives Éowyn this:
-->'''Aragorn:''' It is but a shadow and a thought that you love.
* Fernando Ariza from ''Literature/LoveInTheTimeOfCholera'' spends fifty years obsessed with Fermina Daza, the girl he became enamoured with as a teenager, long after she herself has dismissed the brief relationship as a juvenile illusion.
* Played straight in ''Literature/MansfieldPark'', where the male lead, who is exasperatingly [[ObliviousToLove oblivious]] to the female lead's feelings for him, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin loves a shadow]]. The situation is made more complex and much more brilliant because he has always been adept at wishful thinking and when he discovers that she doesn't live up to his hopes, [[{{Irony}} his experience]] as a MoralityChain to the heroine [[ICanChangeMyBeloved makes him certain that she could]]. It's made even more interesting because the person on whom he projects these hopes isn't wholly ''unsympathetic''; although self-focused, she is more sensitive to the heroine's problems than most of the characters. But it turns out her more lovable traits (emotional sensibility and compassion) are pushed too far for what is about her, making her a manipulative, self-indulgent, entitled, materialistic [[TheFakeCutie Fake Cutie]]. [[spoiler:He realises it near the end of the book. A violent breakup ensues, and he then has a LoveEpiphany over said female lead]].
* In ''Literature/MemoirsOfAGeisha'', one of Sayuri's main patrons, Nobu Toshikazu, falls in love with her and tries to make her his mistress, much to her dismay. Not only is she secretly in love with the Chairman, his best friend and business partner, but she has only ever interacted with Nobu while she was working as a geisha, and thus putting up a persona deliberately designed to attract men; she's well aware that Nobu doesn't know her nearly as well as he believes he does. She does care for him as a friend and ''really'' doesn't want to hurt him by conclusively rejecting him, but she also can't stand the thought of becoming his mistress because she assumes that doing so will permanently lock her out of the relationship with the Chairman she secretly hopes for.
* ''Literature/TheMer'': Since Liam's transformation into a Mer ended his relationship with [[TheLostLenore Margaret]], he's fallen for several women who he thought could take her place, only to mistreat and reject them when they failed to live up to his idealized memories. Of all the woman he did that to, Hazel took it the hardest - she spent years thinking she was defective because Liam never let her forget that she wasn't as good as Margaret.
* ''Literature/MuchAdoAboutGrubstake'': Arley gushes over Duncan, the young newspaperman who inherited the paper from his dad at a young age, but eventually realizes that while he's a good man, her feelings for him are over over-idealized because, for a long time, he was the only man near her age in town.
* In one ''Literature/{{Nightside}}'' novel, a reporter falls for John and tries to convince him to leave Suzie for her, stating that Suzie's violence is keeping him from being the hero the reporter knows he really is. John gently tells her that she's only in love with an image she's created in her mind and that he and Suzie belong together because they are both [[AntiHero monsters]].
* ''Literature/ThePhantomOfTheOpera'' has a variation: Erik was in love with Christine insofar as he wanted her to be his "bride in death." In the end, he realized that his love for the girl was false, and so he let her go.
* Creator/JaneAusten's ''Literature/SenseAndSensibility'': 35-year-old Colonel Brandon falls deeply in love with 17-year-old Marianne Dashwood because she reminds him of both his tragic first love and his beloved adoptive daughter (who was seduced and abandoned by Marianne's first suitor, Willoughby). While this seems to be the classic set-up for LovingAShadow, this is portrayed as the ideal happy ending for both Marianne and Colonel Brandon. The age difference is even more glaring in the 1995 movie when the 50-year-old Creator/AlanRickman played Colonel Brandon while 20-year-old Creator/KateWinslet played Marianne Dashwood.
* ''Literature/SeventeenAndGone'' has a platonic example with Lauren and the missing girls, who she imagines elaborate backstories for despite never knowing them in reality or at all.
* In ''Literature/TheSharingKnife: Horizon'' young(ish) Patroller Neeta from New Moon Cutoff who, due largely to couple of years on exchange up in Luthlia, starts fixating on Captain Dag Wolverine (Hero of Wolf Ridge) as soon as he connects him with [[FamedInStory the epic cycle]] she memorized. The broken amputee Tent Wolverine sent back to his birthplace in the hopes of him healing his emotional wounds, the humble patroller who literally lived for malice slaying, and the HappilyMarried trainee groundsetter she actually ''met'' would all agree that the actual
* The ''Literature/SpiderManSinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
* ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire'':
** Tristifer Botley does this toward Asha Greyjoy based on some experimentation when they were barely more than children. His projected ideal woman has little to do with the flesh-and-blood claimant of the Seastone Chair.
** Robert Baratheon idealizes [[TheLostLenore Lyanna Stark]], to whom he was engaged. It becomes clear that he did not know her very well, and her brother Ned's recollections reveal that she was quite aware of the whole thing.
** Lysa Arryn (nee Tully) had been in love with Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish ever since they were children. She never quite grasped that Petyr only had eyes for her older sister Catelyn. While he eventually married her, she only really learned what kind of man he really was [[spoiler:at the
%%* "The One You Really Love" by The Magnetic Fields.
*** Petyr Baelish has his own fixation on Sansa Stark, Catelyn's daughter, in a way that is clearly tied up in his lingering feelings for her mother.
*
* ''Franchise/StarWarsLegends'':
** In ''[[Literature/XWingSeries Wraith Squadron]]'', Kell thinks he's in love with another pilot, who tells him in no uncertain terms, after asking a few tough questions, that he doesn't love her but his mental image of her. Later, using the criteria she set out earlier, he finds that he's in love with the "real" her... which prompts her to tackle him to the floor in his quarters, as she was smitten almost from
--> 'Vixen in my dreams, of great surprise to me; in
** ''Literature/OutboundFlight'' has [[WideEyedIdealist Maris]], who falls for the idealistic image she has of Commander Thrawn. Thrawn... he's not exactly a villain [[StartOfDarkness yet]], but he's not quite as nice as she imagines. He's aware of this and keeps some distance from her, but also does not disillusion her when they part.
--->'''Thrawn''': There are all too few idealists in this universe, Car'das. Too few people who strive always to see
* "Behavior" by Steel Train.
-->A pretty girl.
"Look, at love, it's nothing but a shadow.\\
Where
'''Thrawn''': [[NotSoAboveItAll All beings appreciate such admiration.]]
* In Creator/TimPowers' ''Literature/TheStressOfHerRegard'', Crawford's second wife Julia was
Look, at you. You've been chasing shadows."\\
And then I woke up.
* "Her Pretender" by Off Course. Though it does turn out okay in the end since the singer sticks around as "her someone else" long enough
-->Like
A lover’s confusion; she only sees what she wants to see\\
I guess I’m just an imitator soon to be\\
The love I feel was never meant for me
* "Love Through Her" by The Weeknd
-->Am I going crazy?\\
Do I need some therapy to get shorty out of my mind?\\
Girl, my head is racing\\
Heard shorty's been needing the rest of my mind\\
\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Am I make love to you through her?\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Love through her (love through her)
* "Shadow Lover" by Music/MaryJaneGirls is about [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly this]]
* A track from Music/{{Rush|Band}}'s ''Music/ClockworkAngels'' involves the narrator falling in love, only to realize when he is rebuffed that he had created an idealized woman in his mind and then attempted to graft his delusions onto a real person; he admits this was not the first time he has done this. The song is even called ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Halo Effect]]''.
* "A Forest" by Music/{{The Cure|Band}}, from ''Music/SeventeenSecondsAlbum'', if interpreted metaphorically, has the protagonist looking for a girl who is supposedly lost, only to find out she "was never there". He then realizes, lost himself, he just ran "towards nothing", which we assume is not the first time in his life.
-->The girl was never there, it's always the same\\
I running towards nothing [[BrokenRecord again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agaiiiin!]]
* The song "Flawless" from Music/TheNeighbourhood is about the singer falling in love with an idealized, 'flawless' girl that he starts a relationship with... and then falls out of love with when he gets to know her and
* In two separate ''Literature/SweetValleyHigh'', Steven Wakefield falls for girls who look exactly like Tricia, his girlfriend who died tragically. Only for it to turn out that one isn't like her at all, and while the
* Music/PoetsOfTheFall's "[[https://youtu.be/MKk1u5RMTn4?list=PLjACqN5i5sDWIIpg-5EB4WcitMMqnXhFP Carnival
** A familial version happened in one of
* "Who's That Girl" by Robyn
-->Who's that girl? That you dream of\\
Who's that girl? That you think you love\\
Who's that girl? What if I'm nothing
* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
* "Slow, Love, Slow" by Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} has these lines:
-->I wonder\\
Do I love you or
** Elizabeth and Jessica both had multiple stalkers for this reason, the
* "Dream Boy" by Music/{{Waterparks}} is all about this.
--> Awsten Knight: It’s about
* "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia refers to "him" (the imagined lover) and "you" (the actual person) as [[TwoPersonLoveTriangle separate people]]. Per the chorus: "Illusion never changed / Into something real."
-->I thought I saw a man brought to life\\
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified\\
He showed me what it was to cry\\
[[WhamLine Well, you couldn't be that man I adored]]\\
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for\\
But I don't know him anymore\\
There's nothing where he used to lie\\
The conversation has run dry\\
That's what's going on
* Music/TearsForFears: This is the meaning behind "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwpqNJYp-fw I Love You But I'm Lost]]", as Roland Orzabal [[https://www.nme.com/news/music/tears-fears-unveil-i-love-you-but-im-lost-video-tour-tickets-2177818 explains:]]
-->This song is about the haziness, the blurred lines within a relationship, the sense of having someone and losing someone
** Also in ''Sweet Valley University'', in one of the ''Thriller'' specials, Enid/Alex Rollins is stalked by a guy obsessed with the idea
*
* ''Literature/TheUnexploredSummonBloodSign'': Kyousuke repeatedly emphasizes that
-->Here's
* A recurring theme in the ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'':
** Elli Quinn refused to marry Miles Vorkosigan because she was in love with his alter ego Admiral Miles Naismith. She believes that Lord Vorkosigan is the "shadow", and that Admiral Naismith is his "real" personality that he is hiding from himself. Miles himself spends several stories wondering if she's right, and goes through several identity crises.
** In ''Komarr'', Tien Vorsoisson justifies all his bad actions as being to provide for his wife - and Ekaterin, listening to him bluster, finally realizes that even after all their years of marriage, he really has no idea who she is or what she wants out of life. She flatly tells him that he has been expending all that effort to please a fantasy version of
* One of the reasons why in ''Literature/WaxAndWayne'', Marasi and Wax end up as JustFriends. Marasi grew up on tales of the legendary lawman Waxillium the Dawnshot (Wax is about twenty years older than her), and while she does get to know him better as a person, her crush on him was motivated by stories of him rather than the real him.
* ''Literature/TheseWordsAreTrueAndFaithful:'' Sam accuses Ernie of treating him as "a blank slate onto which you could project all of your
* This is essentially Jacob's relationship with Jassamine in ''Literature/WraithKnight.'' Jacob has a worshipful and even religious veneration of his lover as well as remembers her in the most flattering of lights. [[spoiler: It becomes increasingly clear that
* Isabella to Heathcliff in ''Literature/WutheringHeights''. AllGirlsWantBadBoys, until they turn out to be abusive bastards. And then it's too late, at least in that day and age.
* ''Literature/YouKnowYouWantThis'': Kristen Roupenian's short story "Cat Person" explores this with the relationship between Margot and Robert, who only meet in person
* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up
-->Every so often, over the next day or so, she would find herself in a gray, daydreamy mood, missing something, and
Changed line(s) 195,196 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:Roleplay]]
* In ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'', [[UptightLovesWild dutiful Marko is smitten with the punk Zia]]. However, it's implied that he's more in love with her nature as a rebel, as he wishes to learn how to become more carefree himself.
* In ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'', [[UptightLovesWild dutiful Marko is smitten with the punk Zia]]. However, it's implied that he's more in love with her nature as a rebel, as he wishes to learn how to become more carefree himself.
to:
*
** ''Series/{{Arrow}}'':
*** Oliver and Laurel's romance seemed to be a case of this, though later seasons [[SubvertedTrope clarify]] that they ''did'' love each other -- Oliver gave up on Laurel because [[InsecureLoveInterest he felt he was unworthy of her and couldn't give her the life she wanted with him]], no matter how much they loved each other. [[spoiler:Though Season 5 does imply Oliver's complicated feelings for Black Siren, Laurel's evil Earth-2 doppelgänger, ''is'' a case of this, as he is trying to find the
*** A more concrete example would be John Diggle's brief romance with his widowed sister-in-law, Carly. While they did have an attraction, it's implied that John's feelings for her partially stemmed from wanting more of a connection with his brother. That's why they broke up, as no matter how much they cared for each other, there was always going to be three people in that relationship, and they both deserved better than that.
** ''Series/TheFlash2014'':
*** It's all but stated that Earth-2 Hunter Zolomon, aka Zoom, the BigBad of Season 2, developed a VillainousCrush on Caitlin Snow because of her similarities to his deceased mother (as it's implied the beginning of their relationship was just him seducing her). When Caitlin calls him a monster, he flashes back to his mother doing the same with his father, right before said father killed her. This is why it's so easy for him to give up on her when she rejects him one too many times -- it was a shallow attempt at forming a connection by a man who has only ever known hate all his life.
*** Iris West's relationship with Eddie Thawne had shades of this. While Iris did love Eddie, it isn't hard to see that she loved Barry more -- it's implied that one of the only reasons why their relationship even got as serious as it did was because Barry was in a coma at the beginning of it (the other being that Iris was painfully oblivious to her own feelings for him). In fact, it was even part of ''how'' they got together, as Eddie covered Joe's shifts at the precinct so he and Iris could be with the comatose Barry, and Iris decided to thank him with a cup of coffee one day -- things just spiraled from there. When explaining to Iris why he was breaking up with her, Eddie straight up tells her that (much like the John Diggle example above) there have always been three people in their relationship: him, her, and Barry. And as much as he would have liked to believe otherwise, he knows that when it really comes down to it, Iris will never choose him over Barry. He just thought he could love her enough to change that.
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'': After her disaster of a relationship with Angel left her heartbroken, Buffy was determined to be with a nice normal guy, and she thought she found such a man in Riley Finn. Her desire to see him this way made her oblivious to the fact that he loved his job as a monster-hunter soldier and how much he was dying inside when he had to leave it.
* ''Series/CowboyBebop2021''. Spike Spiegel fell in love with Julia, the singer who was the girlfriend of his best buddy Vicious, starting a deadly vendetta between them. Spike had to fake his death and go into hiding, while Julia became Vicious' trophy wife. Her years married to a Syndicate psychopath have forced her to become more ruthless and calculating, making her an entirely different person from TheLostLenore that Spike pins after. In the final episode she offers Spike the chance to [[WeCanRuleTogether rule the Syndicate by her side]], then shoots him when he rejects it, seeing him as a symbol of her innocent past that she has to cast off.
* Deconstructed in ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend''. Main character Rebecca impulsively quits her stressful (but well-paying) job in New York City to move to the smaller town of West Covina, California... which is where her childhood boyfriend Josh happens to live ([[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial but she just needed a change of scenery, really!]]). Basically, Josh represents a time in her life when she was happier and more carefree, and Rebecca projects that desire for a happier life onto him in the hopes that getting back with him will fix her problems. Naturally, it doesn't work that way and Rebecca ultimately realizes that she has to address the real sources of her unhappiness and stop seeing Josh as a solution, especially because he has a large number of flaws himself, one of which being that he ends up trying to recapture his youth through Rebecca in the exact same way.
* ''Series/DearWhitePeople'': In the penultimate episode of Season 1, Troy calls out Coco on the fact that [[spoiler:she doesn't even love him, let alone ''like'' him - she just loves the idea of him as a model leader.]]
* ''Series/DowntonAbbey'':
** When Lady Rose plans to marry Jack Ross, an African-American jazz singer (in a relationship considered hugely scandalous for the time period), other characters believe that she is attracted to him mostly because she wants to upset her mother with the scandal. Jack seems to disagree, [[spoiler:but he breaks off the engagement because he claims he doesn't want to ruin Rose's future.]]
** After an ongoing downstairs love triangle between Alfred, Daisy, and Ivy, [[spoiler:Daisy ultimately concludes that she didn't really know him as a person and her feelings weren't real. She wishes him well before he leaves Downton Abbey to become a chef.]]
** Possibly the reason why Robert almost has an affair with Jane Moorsum, who bears a resemblance to his wife Cora.
* In ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' Daphne and Niles get together after seven years of UST, after which Daphne develops a weight problem, which a therapist speculated was due to anxiety over being unable to live up to the image Niles had built up of her (a fact seemingly confirmed by the fact that Niles remained oblivious to her rather severe weight gain). Frasier later speculates that Niles may also fear being unable to live up to being in a real relationship with her. The problem is resolved when the two of them make a long list of everything they hate about each other.
-->'''Frasier:''' Yes, and how did you love her? From afar. You were never in love ''with'' her, you were in love ''at'' her. Now, you've been given a chance to experience her in a real relationship and yet for some reason, you're resisting it.
* In the ''Series/FridayThe13thTheSeries'' episode "Femme Fatale", a director married the actress who played a Femme Fatale in one of his movies. Even though both of them are in their twilight years, he is still obsessed with the Femme Fatale. He uses the artifact of the week, a cursed film projector, to send women into the movie to take the place of the Femme Fatale who appears before him in the flesh. The women are forced to act out the role which ends in them being shot to death in the movie while the director makes out with the Femme Fatale. Everything comes to a head when the character convinces him to kill his wife, thinking it will allow her to exist in the real world for good. His wife turns the tables on him by faking her death and shooting him dead, coldly stating that he never loved her, only the "pathetic character [she] played." Even the Shadow itself grows disillusioned with the man since he only used her as a glorified sex toy.
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': In season three Joey and Chandler spend several episodes discussing how attractive Chloe, "the girl from the Xerox place", is. Their crushes end after they spend an evening hanging out with her and realise that all she ever talks about is [[TheBore Xeroxing things]].
* ''Series/GameOfThrones'':
** Sansa with Joffrey, a DracoInLeatherPants in-universe. She's entirely willing to overlook Joffrey's many, many flaws even when she sees them firsthand, all in the name of her fairy-tale romance. She finally snaps out of it at the end of "Baelor," but it takes her beau [[spoiler:ordering her father's execution]]. Ned also points out to Sansa that because she's going to be Joffrey's wife, she needs to show at least the pretense of UndyingLoyalty to him, regardless of whether he deserves it. And, well, Ned was right about this.
** In a rare moment of clarity [[JadedWashout King Robert]] admits this to Cersei, noting that it's been so many years that he doesn't even remember Lyanna's face anymore but she was the one thing he wanted and he had it taken from him.
--->'''Robert:''' You want to know the horrible truth? I can't even remember what she looked like. I only know she was the one thing I ever wanted. Someone took her away from me... and seven kingdoms couldn't fill the hole she left behind.
* ''Series/GilmoreGirls'':
** Dean's pursuit of Rory has shades of this. He consistently places her on a pedestal as his perfect girl, getting upset whenever she doesn't live up to his expectations. Dean's idealized image of Rory prompts him to have an affair with her when he is married to Lindsay, who he married while OnTheRebound from Rory and divorces shortly after the affair comes to light. In season six, he breaks things off with Rory for good after realizing they really have absolutely nothing in common and he's really only ever been in love with the idea of Rory. Thankfully, by the time of the revival in 2016, he has moved on from Rory and is now HappilyMarried and has started a family.
** Lorelai and Christopher have this on both sides. They were high school sweethearts who split up after Rory was born and spent her childhood pining after each other, but Christopher's unwillingness to commit leaves them unable to settle into a stable relationship. When Rory is in college, Lorelai and Christopher finally get together and impulsively elope, but after just a few months of marriage, they realize their relationship is nothing like they'd imagined and they just aren't right for each other, causing them to divorce shortly afterward.
--->'''Lorelai:''' You've always been this...possibility for me. This wonderful possibility. But it's just not right. And I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.\\
'''Christopher:''' Yeah. I guess I should've known, huh? It took me twenty years to get you to say yes.\\
'''Lorelai:''' I need you to know that you're the man I want to want.
* ''Series/GossipGirl'': Dan falls in love with Serena before knowing her and it's constantly accused of putting her on a pedestal. As he gets to know her, his love for her also fades.
* ''Series/H2OJustAddWater'': Bella has a crush on Will, but he's more interesting in his diving career and finding the truth behind his encounter with the [[MurderWater Water Tentacle]]. He only starts returning her interest when he finds out she's a mermaid, which is something he forced out of her, and she catches onto it when he rejects getting to know her in favor of seeing her swim. The two of them end the series as a couple, but this aspect to their relationship never gets resolved.
-->'''Bella:''' We could get to know each other a bit better.\\
'''Will:''' I know you're a mermaid, what more do I need to know?\\
'''Bella:''' ...Yeah, but that's not all I am.
* ''Series/{{House}}'': Stacy Warner to the titular House. She loves the thrill and excitement of being with him and misses the way their relationship used to be before it fell apart. While House still loves her, he is the one to realize that all the reasons they broke up are still there and that he isn't able to change himself for her.
* In ''Series/IClaudius'', Julia has had an infatuation with [[NotBloodSiblings her stepbrother]] Tiberius since they were children, which endures through her marriages to both Marcellus and Agrippa. She does eventually get to marry him after she's widowed for the second time,[[note]]In the novel, it mentions she went to the lengths of threatening suicide if her father didn't make the match happen.[[/note]] only to find he's a very bitter, unpleasant person. He also especially has it in for Julia herself, as his mother Livia forced him to end his happy marriage to Vipsania to marry her, seeing as she's Augustus's only child and therefore an extremely useful political tool.
* Played poignantly in an episode of ''Series/JonathanCreek.'' At first, Robin Priest seems a bit of a lout for having an affair with an unpleasant blonde. However, it turns out that his so-called wife took advantage of a bump to his head and {{brainwashed}} him into believing that they were married. When TheReveal comes, it's clear that his immediate attraction to the blonde was simply because she bore a startling resemblance to his ''real'' wife, who--though dead--is displayed prominently in several portraits around his former house.
* ''Franchise/KamenRider'':
** Subverted and {{Lampshaded}} in ''Series/KamenRiderDecade''. When the group reaches [[Series/KamenRiderAgito Agito's]] World, [[Series/KamenRiderKuuga Yusuke]] finds out that it has its own version of his [[BigBrotherMentor Big Sister Mentor]] Yashiro, who died early in the series. Yusuke decides to leave the Hikari Studio group and stay in Agito's World with Yashiro, but he realizes that she has feelings for Shoichi (Agito) and [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy helps get them back together]] before returning to the Studio. {{Lampshaded}} in Tsukasa's NoMoreHoldingBackSpeech, in which he refers to Yusuke as "chasing a dead woman's shadow" but adds that he learned from his mistake.
** In ''Series/KamenRiderOOO'', Dr. Maki is implied to have been in love with [[IncestSubtext his sister.]] He remembers her as a kind, sweet, loving woman and is briefly drawn to Chiyoko, who looks like her. Later, he's forced to confront the truth that his image of his sister is fake: she wasn't a very nice person, didn't really care for him, and planned to have no contact with him after her forthcoming marriage ([[spoiler:[[IfICantHaveYou which is why he murdered her.]]]])
** ''Series/KamenRiderDouble'':
*** In the Yesterday Dopant arc, Shotaro falls for a client named Yuko; but discovers she's actually [[spoiler:Kirihiko Sonozaki's sister Yukie, and was using Shotaro in a scheme to avenge her brother's death]] and he didn't know the "real" her at all. He decides he does still have feelings for her, but he'll wait until she regains her memories, which she lost after [[spoiler:the Yesterday Memory was destroyed.]]
*** Jun Kazu idolizes Saeko and imagines that when he creates "Utopia" she will rule over it with him. He learns that she's not who he thought she was when [[spoiler:she defies him in order to save Wakana.]]
** In ''Series/KamenRiderGaim'', Mitsuzane Kureshima becomes intensely obsessed with Mai, leading him to side with the Overlords and attempt to destroy Kouta in the belief it will make Mai fall for him; when he does not understand her as a person at all.
** A more light-hearted example: Kazumi Sawatari of ''Series/KamenRiderBuild'' is a huge fan of internet idol "Mii-tan." When he discovers her true identity as Misora Isurugi, he declares that he's in love with Misora and will win her heart; yet continues to see her as and refer to her as Mii-tan, apparently not realizing this is a character she plays.
* In ''Series/LawAndOrder'', a middle-aged man falls in love with a young woman he met online. He is so in love with her, that the young woman convinces him to commit murder for her. Turns out, the young woman was DeadAllAlong and the man was being manipulated by the mother who was the mastermind behind the whole thing. He makes a deal with the prosecution to testify against her in court. {{Lampshaded}} before he takes the stand to testify:
-->'''Middle-Aged Man''': "I loved her more than you ever did."
-->'''Mother''': "You didn't even know her, idiot."
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'':
** The SVU are hunting a suspect who kidnaps teenage girls and dresses them up to his ideal girlfriend. A long time ago he took in a teenage girl because she looked like the one he liked but left her when she grew too old for him.
** The villain of one episode was a middle-aged loser who was still obsessed with an UptownGirl he had a crush on in college. At his trial, the DA puts a woman who has the same name and was in the same rich girl sorority on the stand and not only does he not realise that she isn't the supposed love of his life, it's revealed the woman he was obsessed with was murdered years ago and he had no idea.
** Non-romantic example: Elliot deeply cares about his children, but, due to being [[WhenYouComingHomeDad largely absent]] from their lives, he loves the idea of them more than who they actually are. For example, he still calls his teenage son by the juvenile nickname he hasn't used for years and is shown to know virtually nothing about his personal life or aspirations to join the military rather than go to college. Also, he is completely unaware of his college-aged daughter's bipolar disorder or her self-medication with drugs, alcohol, and sex. Several episodes focus on him learning more about his kids and their flaws.
* ''Series/MrRobot'': Tyrell loves and is [[StalkerWithACrush obsessed]] with Elliot only because of his skills and talent and the fact that he is the leader of the society taking down E Corp. This makes him believe that he and Elliot are gods when in reality Elliot wants nothing to do with him and is creeped out by his advances at him.
* The Comte de Rochefort, the main antagonist of series two of ''Series/TheMusketeers'', has this as his motivation. He is obsessed with Queen Anne, to the point of dressing up a prostitute to pretend to be her, and planning to take over the throne of France so he can rule together with Anne. He has very little idea of what Anne is like as a person (believing her to be [[DamselInDistress rather less resilient]] than she [[SilkHidingSteel actually is]]) and deludes himself into believing that she is in love with him when in reality she sees him as an old friend and mentor figure.
* Lightly deconstructed in the ''Series/NewGirl'' episode "Halloween":
-->'''Nick:''' I [[LoveAtFirstSight fell in love with you the first time I saw you]]. That's crazy. I didn't even know you! It was just this idea of you. And then it just wasn't what I thought. And what's up with the way you kiss? It's like reverse CPR. It's like you're--\\
[Amelia slaps him]\\
'''Amelia:''' Hey, I'm not an idea of a person, I'm an ''actual'' person!
* In an episode of ''Series/TheOrville'', Gordon becomes infatuated with a long-dead woman after discovering a recording of her on her phone in a time capsule from 2015. He extracts the data from the phone and creates a simulation of her, and falls in love. He insists that because the simulation is based on the memories and feelings of a real person it is a sentient, living person despite his friends repeatedly reminding him that it is not and the woman he loves has been dead for centuries. When his simulated girlfriend gets back together with her ex, Gordon deletes him from the program, only to find that her personality has completely changed from the person he fell in love with because he essentially edited out a huge part of her life. This breaks the illusion for him, realising that she is just another program he created.
* In ''Series/TheOtherKingdom'', Astral initially loves Tristan from afar, and her main motivation to become human is in the hopes that she can get to know him as a person to see if he feels the same way about her.
* In the BBC's version of ''Series/RobinHood'',
** After [[spoiler:Marian's death]], Robin begins a relationship with Isabella who bears a slight resemblance to Marian.
** Likewise, Kate's feelings for Robin seemed to be based more on hero-worship than any particular regard for him personally, and had the show not been cancelled, it's likely that she would have been paired up with newcomer Archer instead.
** There's also Much, who falls for Kate despite the fact she treats him poorly. Fan speculation is that she simply reminds him of Eve, his Season 1 love interest, who also had distinctive blonde hair.
* ''Series/{{Smallville}}'':
** This is heavily implied to be the basis of both Lana's love for Clark (dead parents) and Lex's love for Helen, his string of failed romances, and his eventual obsession with Lana (dead mother Lillian). In addition, Lana calls Clark out for loving the image he's built up of her over the years to the point where he was blaming himself for her very illegal, very felonious activities (kidnapping and torture, and eventually felony murder).
** Chloe Sullivan has a similar situation with Davis Bloome in Season 8, where he's clearly a [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend Clark substitute.]]
** Lex's love for Lana and Helen aren't the only things that are placed in this light; many of Lex's relationships take this form. His fascination with Kara is likely due to wanting Clark to be honest with him about his alien heritage. Also, his idolization of his mother came from the years of physical and emotional abuse from his father; however, while his mother was probably too sickly to physically abuse him, she definitely could be just as vicious as Lionel was, emotionally.
* ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'': Geordi has a real problem with this.
** In "Booby Trap", Geordi creates a simulation of one of the engineering designers, Dr. Leah Brahms. While working with her to solve the problem, he falls in love with the simulation. This produces very awkward moments when, in the later episode "Galaxy's Child", he meets the real woman, and finds she is nothing like her projection. [[FromBadToWorse It gets worse]] [[OtherMeAnnoysMe when Leah finds her holographic incarnation from the earlier episode]] and accuses him of invoking her image to produce a holographic love toy.
** Geordi suffers complete AesopAmnesia in "Aquiel" when he needs to watch the personal communications of a missing Starfleet officer named Aquiel and quickly falls in love with her. When she shows up alive, he starts ingratiating himself to the real woman without first telling her that he knows all about her from her private communications.
* ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'': It's pretty easy to see Dean's relationship with Lisa as a case of this, seeing as he decides to have a long-term live-in relationship with her after seeing her three times in ten years. [[WordOfGod Dean's actor has stated that Dean was more in love with the idea of having a long-term relationship, an adoptive son, and a stable home than he was with Lisa herself.]]
* ''Series/SweetVicious'':
** Ophelia calls Kennedy out on this, regarding Jules and Nate. Throughout the series, Kennedy seems blissfully ignorant to Jules plight and what Nate did to her, in favor of focusing more on her
** Ophelia's mother, Bobbi has this problem too. It's mentioned throughout that despite Ophelia being a trust fund baby, she has a troubled relationship with her parents for her rebellious attitude. One episode has Ophelia infiltrating the Kappas - of which her mother was a former president - and has to take up a valley girl persona to integrate with them. Bobbi Mayer is thrilled to hear Ophelia is joining her old house, and seems to genuinely bond with her throughout the episode. Once the Kappa's are exposed and dismantled, Ophelia drops her "Kappa persona", prompting Bobbi to leave, indicating that Bobbi cared more about who she wanted Ophelia to be, more than Ophelia as a
* ''Series/TheWalkingDead'': It is rather clear that Rick's infatuation with Jessie Anderson in Season 5 is a case of this. His attraction to Jessie came out of nowhere and comes off as him projecting his perceived failures to protect Lori on to Jessie. She is a vessel for his perceived failings with his dead wife and a second chance to do for this woman what he
* ''Series/{{Westworld}}'': The backstory of the Man in Black, which set him on the path to
[[folder:Music]]
* "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" by Music/JohnMayer features Mayer singing to some unknown woman, warning her that he is nothing but trouble and will only lead to heartbreak. He drives the point home with this verse:
-->Who do you love?\\
Girl I see through, through your love\\
Who do you love? Me or the thought of me? Me or the thought of me?
* [[http://lyricwiki.org/Lunik:Candle Candle]] by Lunik:
-->dreaming all day long\\
you're too perfect to be real\\
did I just make you up how I wished you to be?\\
dreaming with the curtains closed between shades and candlelight\\
was it all just in my mind and now I'm losing it?
* "Shadow" by Music/MariaMena is a good example of this trope in reverse: ''Trying hard to be someone I don't even know/ I feel like a shadow/ walking behind who you think I am/... / thought I'd light me bright and new/ but my candle burnt out long before you.'' Likewise, Music/{{Boston}}'s "A Man I'll Never Be."
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMXG7kM8YZk Conceiving You]] by Riverside is about eventually giving up the actual person to love the shadow.
%%* "The One You Really Love" by The Magnetic Fields.
* "Ten Years Gone" from ''Music/PhysicalGraffiti'' by Led Zeppelin
--> 'Vixen in my dreams, of great surprise to me; in the midst I see your face the way it used to be''
* "Behavior" by Steel Train.
-->A pretty girl.\\
Followed her around the world.\\
And when I caught her she said to me:\\
"Look, at love, it's nothing but a shadow.\\
Where you saw, a heart, that was hollow.\\
Look, at you. You've been chasing shadows."\\
And then I woke up.
* "Her Pretender" by Off Course. Though it does turn out okay in the end since the singer sticks around as "her someone else" long enough for her to see him as himself.
-->Like an illusion surrounded by fantasy\\
A lover’s confusion; she only sees what she wants to see\\
I guess I’m just an imitator soon to be\\
The love I feel was never meant for me
* "Love Through Her" by The Weeknd
-->Am I going crazy?\\
Do I need some therapy to get shorty out of my mind?\\
Girl, my head is racing\\
Heard shorty's been needing the rest of my mind\\
\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Am I make love to you through her?\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Love through her (love through her)
* "Shadow Lover" by Music/MaryJaneGirls is about [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly this]]
* A track from Music/{{Rush|Band}}'s ''Music/ClockworkAngels'' involves the narrator falling in love, only to realize when he is rebuffed that he had created an idealized woman in his mind and then attempted to graft his delusions onto a real person; he admits this was not the first time he has done this. The song is even called ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Halo Effect]]''.
* "A Forest" by Music/{{The Cure|Band}}, from ''Music/SeventeenSecondsAlbum'', if interpreted metaphorically, has the protagonist looking for a girl who is supposedly lost, only to find out she "was never there". He then realizes, lost himself, he just ran "towards nothing", which we assume is not the first time in his life.
-->The girl was never there, it's always the same\\
I running towards nothing [[BrokenRecord again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agaiiiin!]]
* The song "Flawless" from Music/TheNeighbourhood is about the singer falling in love with an idealized, 'flawless' girl that he starts a relationship with... and then falls out of love with when he gets to know her and realizes that she's human and flawed the way everyone is.
* Music/PoetsOfTheFall's "[[https://youtu.be/MKk1u5RMTn4?list=PLjACqN5i5sDWIIpg-5EB4WcitMMqnXhFP Carnival of Rust]]" has singer Zoltar, a decaying automaton stuck in his fortuneteller's booth, desperate to leave the [[CircusOfFear Carnival]]. It's clear that his pleas and demands for love from his latest customer stem from self-interested WishfulProjection. He taints her {{Tarot|Troubles}} reading by declaring her "The Star," his MessiahFigure, instead of recognizing her as a person in her own right, and as a result, his affections go unreciprocated.
* "Who's That Girl" by Robyn
-->Who's that girl? That you dream of\\
Who's that girl? That you think you love\\
Who's that girl? What if I'm nothing like her?
* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
* "Slow, Love, Slow" by Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} has these lines:
-->I wonder\\
Do I love you or the thought of you?
* "Dream Boy" by Music/{{Waterparks}} is all about this.
--> Awsten Knight: It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you – an unwarranted one, at that – where people look at you as a certain thing...they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment – on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!
* "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia refers to "him" (the imagined lover) and "you" (the actual person) as [[TwoPersonLoveTriangle separate people]]. Per the chorus: "Illusion never changed / Into something real."
-->I thought I saw a man brought to life\\
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified\\
He showed me what it was to cry\\
[[WhamLine Well, you couldn't be that man I adored]]\\
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for\\
But I don't know him anymore\\
There's nothing where he used to lie\\
The conversation has run dry\\
That's what's going on
* Music/TearsForFears: This is the meaning behind "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwpqNJYp-fw I Love You But I'm Lost]]", as Roland Orzabal [[https://www.nme.com/news/music/tears-fears-unveil-i-love-you-but-im-lost-video-tour-tickets-2177818 explains:]]
-->This song is about the haziness, the blurred lines within a relationship, the sense of having someone and losing someone in the same instant; like putting your arms around that person only for them to instantly disappear into vapours, the idea or ideal of someone who is impossible to pin down or own.
* Music/ArianaGrande: "in my head" is about how Ariana invented a version of a man that wasn't reality. The opening is a voicemail from a friend of hers that describes this phenomenom:
-->Here's the thing: you're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only person you can fix is yourself. I love you, this has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away, I'm coming over.​
* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up with a woman he once knew, around whom he has built a fantasy that they were once in love and could be again. Although she is polite and kind, it is obvious that she barely remembers him and doesn't feel the same way.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Roleplay]]
* In ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'', [[UptightLovesWild dutiful Marko is smitten with the punk Zia]]. However, it's implied that he's more in love with her nature as a rebel, as he wishes to learn how to become more carefree himself.
[[/folder]]
* "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" by Music/JohnMayer features Mayer singing to some unknown woman, warning her that he is nothing but trouble and will only lead to heartbreak. He drives the point home with this verse:
-->Who do you love?\\
Girl I see through, through your love\\
Who do you love? Me or the thought of me? Me or the thought of me?
* [[http://lyricwiki.org/Lunik:Candle Candle]] by Lunik:
-->dreaming all day long\\
you're too perfect to be real\\
did I just make you up how I wished you to be?\\
dreaming with the curtains closed between shades and candlelight\\
was it all just in my mind and now I'm losing it?
* "Shadow" by Music/MariaMena is a good example of this trope in reverse: ''Trying hard to be someone I don't even know/ I feel like a shadow/ walking behind who you think I am/... / thought I'd light me bright and new/ but my candle burnt out long before you.'' Likewise, Music/{{Boston}}'s "A Man I'll Never Be."
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMXG7kM8YZk Conceiving You]] by Riverside is about eventually giving up the actual person to love the shadow.
%%* "The One You Really Love" by The Magnetic Fields.
* "Ten Years Gone" from ''Music/PhysicalGraffiti'' by Led Zeppelin
--> 'Vixen in my dreams, of great surprise to me; in the midst I see your face the way it used to be''
* "Behavior" by Steel Train.
-->A pretty girl.\\
Followed her around the world.\\
And when I caught her she said to me:\\
"Look, at love, it's nothing but a shadow.\\
Where you saw, a heart, that was hollow.\\
Look, at you. You've been chasing shadows."\\
And then I woke up.
* "Her Pretender" by Off Course. Though it does turn out okay in the end since the singer sticks around as "her someone else" long enough for her to see him as himself.
-->Like an illusion surrounded by fantasy\\
A lover’s confusion; she only sees what she wants to see\\
I guess I’m just an imitator soon to be\\
The love I feel was never meant for me
* "Love Through Her" by The Weeknd
-->Am I going crazy?\\
Do I need some therapy to get shorty out of my mind?\\
Girl, my head is racing\\
Heard shorty's been needing the rest of my mind\\
\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Am I make love to you through her?\\
Am I making love to you through her?\\
Love through her (love through her)
* "Shadow Lover" by Music/MaryJaneGirls is about [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly this]]
* A track from Music/{{Rush|Band}}'s ''Music/ClockworkAngels'' involves the narrator falling in love, only to realize when he is rebuffed that he had created an idealized woman in his mind and then attempted to graft his delusions onto a real person; he admits this was not the first time he has done this. The song is even called ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect Halo Effect]]''.
* "A Forest" by Music/{{The Cure|Band}}, from ''Music/SeventeenSecondsAlbum'', if interpreted metaphorically, has the protagonist looking for a girl who is supposedly lost, only to find out she "was never there". He then realizes, lost himself, he just ran "towards nothing", which we assume is not the first time in his life.
-->The girl was never there, it's always the same\\
I running towards nothing [[BrokenRecord again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agaiiiin!]]
* The song "Flawless" from Music/TheNeighbourhood is about the singer falling in love with an idealized, 'flawless' girl that he starts a relationship with... and then falls out of love with when he gets to know her and realizes that she's human and flawed the way everyone is.
* Music/PoetsOfTheFall's "[[https://youtu.be/MKk1u5RMTn4?list=PLjACqN5i5sDWIIpg-5EB4WcitMMqnXhFP Carnival of Rust]]" has singer Zoltar, a decaying automaton stuck in his fortuneteller's booth, desperate to leave the [[CircusOfFear Carnival]]. It's clear that his pleas and demands for love from his latest customer stem from self-interested WishfulProjection. He taints her {{Tarot|Troubles}} reading by declaring her "The Star," his MessiahFigure, instead of recognizing her as a person in her own right, and as a result, his affections go unreciprocated.
* "Who's That Girl" by Robyn
-->Who's that girl? That you dream of\\
Who's that girl? That you think you love\\
Who's that girl? What if I'm nothing like her?
* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
* "Slow, Love, Slow" by Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} has these lines:
-->I wonder\\
Do I love you or the thought of you?
* "Dream Boy" by Music/{{Waterparks}} is all about this.
--> Awsten Knight: It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you – an unwarranted one, at that – where people look at you as a certain thing...they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment – on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!
* "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia refers to "him" (the imagined lover) and "you" (the actual person) as [[TwoPersonLoveTriangle separate people]]. Per the chorus: "Illusion never changed / Into something real."
-->I thought I saw a man brought to life\\
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified\\
He showed me what it was to cry\\
[[WhamLine Well, you couldn't be that man I adored]]\\
You don't seem to know or seem to care what your heart is for\\
But I don't know him anymore\\
There's nothing where he used to lie\\
The conversation has run dry\\
That's what's going on
* Music/TearsForFears: This is the meaning behind "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwpqNJYp-fw I Love You But I'm Lost]]", as Roland Orzabal [[https://www.nme.com/news/music/tears-fears-unveil-i-love-you-but-im-lost-video-tour-tickets-2177818 explains:]]
-->This song is about the haziness, the blurred lines within a relationship, the sense of having someone and losing someone in the same instant; like putting your arms around that person only for them to instantly disappear into vapours, the idea or ideal of someone who is impossible to pin down or own.
* Music/ArianaGrande: "in my head" is about how Ariana invented a version of a man that wasn't reality. The opening is a voicemail from a friend of hers that describes this phenomenom:
-->Here's the thing: you're in love with a version of a person that you've created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix. Uh, the only person you can fix is yourself. I love you, this has gone on way too long. Enough is enough. I'm two blocks away, I'm coming over.​
* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up with a woman he once knew, around whom he has built a fantasy that they were once in love and could be again. Although she is polite and kind, it is obvious that she barely remembers him and doesn't feel the same way.
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Roleplay]]
* In ''Roleplay/DawnOfANewAgeOldportBlues'', [[UptightLovesWild dutiful Marko is smitten with the punk Zia]]. However, it's implied that he's more in love with her nature as a rebel, as he wishes to learn how to become more carefree himself.
[[/folder]]
Changed line(s) 212 (click to see context) from:
[[folder:Visual Novels]]
to:
Changed line(s) 216 (click to see context) from:
* In ''VisualNovel/SuperDanganronpaAnother2'', [[spoiler: Kanade Otonokoji was a {{yandere}} for her [[{{Twincest}} twin]] [[VillainousIncest sister]] Hibiki. However, it's made abundantly clear that Kanade doesn't care about her as a person, and in fact actively resents her. She fetishizes her sister because she's a malignant {{narcissist}} who simply sees Hibiki as a reflection of herself to play with, and instead of accepting her sister's shortcomings she decided to erase them by grooming her into an EmptyShell]].
to:
* In ''VisualNovel/SuperDanganronpaAnother2'', [[spoiler: Kanade Otonokoji ''VideoGame/Destiny2'': Intentionally done by Cayde-6. His logs describe his wife and son's personalities when he was a {{yandere}} for living human, but the last entry of ''The Man They Called Cayde'' reveals they're all lies. He knows they existed, but remembers nothing about them, and constructed false memories of them to cherish as a way to keep himself sane and on the side of good.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Disgaea|Hour of Darkness}}'':
** Etna's contradictory relationship with Laharl is the result of this: she [[PrecociousCrush adored his father]], but ''hated'' his mother. She admits in her[[{{Twincest}} twin]] [[VillainousIncest sister]] Hibiki. However, diary that when Laharl came along, she had no idea whether to love him or hate him because of it.
** Laharl himself is attracted to Flonne, and it'smade abundantly clear mentioned that Kanade she reminds him of his deceased mother.
* Invoked in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOriginsAwakening''; one side-quest involves finding a mortally wounded soldier who asks you to find his wife and tell her that he died trying to make the world a better place. [[IceQueen Velanna]] rather caustically remarks on the inanity of this declaration, and the player has the option to do the same, an attitude borne out by completing the quest and discovering that his wife was having an affair. If you call her out on cheating on her husband while he was out risking his life for her and the rest of the world, [[ShutUpKirk she turns the tables]] by saying that on the rare occasions he was home he seemed to treat her more as an abstract symbol of what he was fighting for than an actual person with thoughts and feelings of her own. Her reaction to his death is not really the pain of losing a true loved one, but more the impersonal sadness of knowing that a brave, idealistic man had died in the line of duty.
* ''VideoGame/DragonBallZKakarot'': In the DLC ''Trunks: The Warrior of Hope'', after Future Trunks defeats Androids 17 and 18, he meets a man who was hopelessly in love with 18's beauty even though he only saw her on the news and never met her in person (he constantly followed the Androids' path of destruction to try to meet her, but always [[MissedHimByThatMuch arrived just after they left an area]]). Now that she is dead, he plans to kill himself. Trunks trying to explain she was evil doesn'tcare about her as a person, dissuade him. Trunks gets Oolong to shapeshift into 18 and in fact actively resents her. She fetishizes her sister talk him down, which works mostly because she's Oolong botched the transformation, convincing him that 18 wasn't as attractive as he thought.
* A story which can be read in ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind'', titled "Palla," tells the tale of amalignant {{narcissist}} mage who simply sees Hibiki as falls in love with a reflection long-dead woman depicted fighting a monster in a statue. Of course, it doesn't turn out like he thought it would. [[spoiler:Palla turns out to be the name of herself the monster. Guess who comes back to play with, and instead of accepting her sister's shortcomings she decided to erase them by grooming her into an EmptyShell]].life?]]
* In ''VideoGame/{{Disgaea|Hour of Darkness}}'':
** Etna's contradictory relationship with Laharl is the result of this: she [[PrecociousCrush adored his father]], but ''hated'' his mother. She admits in her
** Laharl himself is attracted to Flonne, and it's
* Invoked in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOriginsAwakening''; one side-quest involves finding a mortally wounded soldier who asks you to find his wife and tell her that he died trying to make the world a better place. [[IceQueen Velanna]] rather caustically remarks on the inanity of this declaration, and the player has the option to do the same, an attitude borne out by completing the quest and discovering that his wife was having an affair. If you call her out on cheating on her husband while he was out risking his life for her and the rest of the world, [[ShutUpKirk she turns the tables]] by saying that on the rare occasions he was home he seemed to treat her more as an abstract symbol of what he was fighting for than an actual person with thoughts and feelings of her own. Her reaction to his death is not really the pain of losing a true loved one, but more the impersonal sadness of knowing that a brave, idealistic man had died in the line of duty.
* ''VideoGame/DragonBallZKakarot'': In the DLC ''Trunks: The Warrior of Hope'', after Future Trunks defeats Androids 17 and 18, he meets a man who was hopelessly in love with 18's beauty even though he only saw her on the news and never met her in person (he constantly followed the Androids' path of destruction to try to meet her, but always [[MissedHimByThatMuch arrived just after they left an area]]). Now that she is dead, he plans to kill himself. Trunks trying to explain she was evil doesn't
* A story which can be read in ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind'', titled "Palla," tells the tale of a
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII'':
** Aerith latches onto Cloud so quickly because he reminds her a lot of her first boyfriend, Zack. [[spoiler:Zack was Cloud's best friend and [[DeadPersonImpersonation Cloud (unknowingly) picked up some of his traits and even bits of his memory]] after his death. It's very, VERY complicated.]]
** [[spoiler:However, if Aerith is Cloud's date during the gondola ride at Gold Saucer, her dialogue seems to imply she's begun to see past Cloud's facade, how different the two actually are outside of surface mannerisms, and that she's "[searching] for [him]" and "[wants] to meet [him]," to Cloud's confusion. Ultimately, Aerith might have started to fall for the real Cloud while suspecting certain things were off about him.]]
* ''Franchise/FireEmblem'':
** ''VideoGame/FireEmblemGenealogyOfTheHolyWar'':
*** If she's paired up with HorseArcher Midayle, PirateGirl Briggid will straightforwardly tell him that she's not sure if he loves her for herself or because she is the older twin sister of Adean, the WhiteMagicianGirl he used to love, and Midayle will have to disabuse her of such a belief. She exhibits a similar fear if she's paired up with archer Jamuka, whom Adean helped to have a HeelFaceTurn. Again, Jamuka will reply via saying that he loves only her now.
*** It's very strongly implied in one of the mangas that [[spoiler:Arvis]], a man with ''big'' [[spoiler:ParentalIssues]], may have fallen for [[spoiler:Deirdre]] because she reminded him of [[spoiler:his adored mother Cigyun]]. For massive irony, [[spoiler:Deirdre was his half-sister... ''and they shared the same mom''. [[SurpriseIncest Whoops]].]]
** ZigZagged between Ingrid and Glenn in ''VideoGame/FireEmblemThreeHouses''. In Ingrid and Felix’s, Glenn’s younger brother, support conversations, the two of them get into an argument about Ingrid’s feelings towards Glenn. Felix tells her that the Glenn she fell in love is a romanticized version because of how he gave his life to save Dimitri from the Tragedy of Duscar, and that he was a completely different person from the brother that he knew personally. Ingrid in response calls him out, for not being appreciative of Glenn for upholding his honor and duty as a knight.
* ''VideoGame/HyruleWarriors'': [[BigBad Cia]] develops feelings for [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Link, the Hero of Hyrule]] because she observes his various past lives for years. Due to her loneliness, she perceives him as being her ideal soulmate and grows jealous of his connection to Princess Zelda. After her corruption [[spoiler:by Ganondorf]], she attacks Hyrule with an army to conquer and claim Link, not able to comprehend what he's actually like or that she's made herself his enemy.
* A non-romantic variant can be seen in ''VideoGame/KingsQuest2015''. After his son Alexander is kidnapped as a baby, King Graham spends the next eighteen years searching for him, and meanwhile developing an idealized concept in his mind of the kind of relationship they'll have when they're finally reunited. But when Alexander does at last return to his family, he's not at all the person Graham has always assumed he'll be; he's a magic user and doesn't really share many of his father's interests or passions. A big part of their conflict throughout Chapter Four is caused by this.
** Aerith latches onto Cloud so quickly because he reminds her a lot of her first boyfriend, Zack. [[spoiler:Zack was Cloud's best friend and [[DeadPersonImpersonation Cloud (unknowingly) picked up some of his traits and even bits of his memory]] after his death. It's very, VERY complicated.]]
** [[spoiler:However, if Aerith is Cloud's date during the gondola ride at Gold Saucer, her dialogue seems to imply she's begun to see past Cloud's facade, how different the two actually are outside of surface mannerisms, and that she's "[searching] for [him]" and "[wants] to meet [him]," to Cloud's confusion. Ultimately, Aerith might have started to fall for the real Cloud while suspecting certain things were off about him.]]
* ''Franchise/FireEmblem'':
** ''VideoGame/FireEmblemGenealogyOfTheHolyWar'':
*** If she's paired up with HorseArcher Midayle, PirateGirl Briggid will straightforwardly tell him that she's not sure if he loves her for herself or because she is the older twin sister of Adean, the WhiteMagicianGirl he used to love, and Midayle will have to disabuse her of such a belief. She exhibits a similar fear if she's paired up with archer Jamuka, whom Adean helped to have a HeelFaceTurn. Again, Jamuka will reply via saying that he loves only her now.
*** It's very strongly implied in one of the mangas that [[spoiler:Arvis]], a man with ''big'' [[spoiler:ParentalIssues]], may have fallen for [[spoiler:Deirdre]] because she reminded him of [[spoiler:his adored mother Cigyun]]. For massive irony, [[spoiler:Deirdre was his half-sister... ''and they shared the same mom''. [[SurpriseIncest Whoops]].]]
** ZigZagged between Ingrid and Glenn in ''VideoGame/FireEmblemThreeHouses''. In Ingrid and Felix’s, Glenn’s younger brother, support conversations, the two of them get into an argument about Ingrid’s feelings towards Glenn. Felix tells her that the Glenn she fell in love is a romanticized version because of how he gave his life to save Dimitri from the Tragedy of Duscar, and that he was a completely different person from the brother that he knew personally. Ingrid in response calls him out, for not being appreciative of Glenn for upholding his honor and duty as a knight.
* ''VideoGame/HyruleWarriors'': [[BigBad Cia]] develops feelings for [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Link, the Hero of Hyrule]] because she observes his various past lives for years. Due to her loneliness, she perceives him as being her ideal soulmate and grows jealous of his connection to Princess Zelda. After her corruption [[spoiler:by Ganondorf]], she attacks Hyrule with an army to conquer and claim Link, not able to comprehend what he's actually like or that she's made herself his enemy.
* A non-romantic variant can be seen in ''VideoGame/KingsQuest2015''. After his son Alexander is kidnapped as a baby, King Graham spends the next eighteen years searching for him, and meanwhile developing an idealized concept in his mind of the kind of relationship they'll have when they're finally reunited. But when Alexander does at last return to his family, he's not at all the person Graham has always assumed he'll be; he's a magic user and doesn't really share many of his father's interests or passions. A big part of their conflict throughout Chapter Four is caused by this.
* ''VideoGame/MegaManZX'' has [[CoolBigSis Prairie]] falling in love with Girouette. She later admitted that it was because Giro reminded her of someone she knew in the past. Prairie is strongly believed to be Alouette of the ''VideoGame/MegaManZero'' series, and Giro is a (rather blatant) {{expy}} of the eponymous character that Alouette looks up to and idolizes.
* ''VideoGame/NoelTheMortalFate'': Jillian idealizes Noel, to the point she's devastated once she becomes a terrorist and not her "Ideal Noel" anymore. In Chapter 5, Noel lampshades that Jillian fails to understand how she thinks, what motivates her, or how her time seeking revenge on Burrows has affected her.
* ''Franchise/{{Persona}}'':
** ''VideoGame/Persona2: Innocent Sin'':
*** Lisa is infatuated with Tatsuya from the word go, but it's clear that it's a shallow fantasy - the popular pretty girl who wants the "cool loner" for a boyfriend. Over the course of the game, Tatsuya is shown to be a loner because he's been hurt by loss and reluctant to open up to anyone again, but Lisa genuinely falls in love with the good person hiding behind the loner.
*** Hanakouji and Eikichi do the same with each other, though Eikichi's fantasy of Hanakouji is more from not having seen her for years, and her fantasy of him is actually a more shallow and immature person than he turns out to be. The reality of one another turns out to be far more fulfilling.
** ''VideoGame/Persona4'': Yukiko is an [[AloofDarkHairedGirl Aloof Dark-Haired]] YamatoNadeshiko at first glance, which attracts dozens of boys who buy into the prospect of having a classical Japanese beauty as a girlfriend. In reality, Yukiko is a shy girl with a love of [[TheHyena stupid humor]], [[NightmareFetishist horror]], and [[CloudCuckoolander strange thought processes]], all of which contrast with her proper appearance. One of the boys guilty of believing the fantasy appears in Chie's Social Link and complains about seeing Yukiko being cheerful because a not-gloomy Yukiko clashes with his fantasized version of her.
** ''VideoGame/Persona5'':
*** [[TalkingAnimal Morgana]]'s crush on Ann, which begins when he sees [[SadistTeacher Kamoshida]]'s sexualized "Princess Ann" cognition. From that point on, he starts calling the real Ann "Lady Ann", tries to act like a chivalrous knight around her, and believes she'll be into him if he manages to [[BecomeARealBoy become a human]]. Because the plot never takes his crush seriously, Morgana has no chance of even getting Ann to respond like he wants her to, and can only sigh in defeat if [[PlayerCharacter Joker]] romances her.
*** PlayedForLaughs with Yusuke, who's overcome by [[MsFanservice Ann]]'s beauty when first meeting her and begs her to be the model for his next painting. When the topic is brought up once more near the end of his Social Link, he says that after learning of her true (abrasive) personality he could never see her in the same light. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It takes Ann a moment to realize what he meant.]]
* ''VideoGame/PokemonScarletAndViolet'' has a platonic variation in the ''Teal Mask'' DLC. Kieran idolizes the ogre that the rest of his village shuns, because he views it as strong and independent. As a ShrinkingViolet with a BigSisterBully, he wishes he could be like that himself. It turns out that [[spoiler:while Ogerpon ''is'' [[NotEvilJustMisunderstood much nicer]] than the villagers assumed, she's also very lonely and ''wants'' to have someone to spend more time with. As such, she ends up choosing the player character to be her trainer instead of Kieran, because they spent more time with her. Due to his SanitySlippage, however, Kieran continues to ignore this and concludes that he just needs to get stronger in order to get Ogerpon away from the player]].
* ''VideoGame/SilentHillShatteredMemories'', [[spoiler:Harry's been dead for years and Cheryl is the patient. The Harry you've been playing as is the shadow in this equation; either he was physically manifested by Cheryl or it all took place only in her mind. Probably (hopefully) not a romantic version of this.]]
* In ''VisualNovel/SuperDanganronpaAnother2'', [[spoiler: Kanade Otonokoji was a {{yandere}} for her [[{{Twincest}} twin]] [[VillainousIncest sister]] Hibiki. However, it's made abundantly clear that Kanade doesn't care about her as a person, and in fact actively resents her. She fetishizes her sister because she's a malignant {{narcissist}} who simply sees Hibiki as a reflection of herself to play with, and instead of accepting her sister's shortcomings she decided to erase them by grooming her into an EmptyShell]].
* ''VideoGame/TalesSeries'':
** In ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'', the BigBad has shades of this towards [[spoiler:his sister, Martel. He may have loved her as his sister when she was alive, but after she was killed he promptly jumped off the slippery slope and committed numerous atrocities - including splitting the world in two and setting up the Church of Martel to breed the perfect vessel for his sister - to get her back. When Martel is briefly resurrected, she chews Mithos out for this and tells him this ''isn't'' what she wanted but instead a twisted interpretation of her last wish. When she leaves again, Mithos is furious and demands Colette return his sister. When Colette protests that Martel just wants the suffering to end, he purposefully misinterprets what she says and flees to Derris Kharlan rather than face that the reason his sister was never successfully brought back to life was that ''she didn't want to be.'' This is in stark contrast to Martel's fiancé, Yuan, who opposes Mithos in the shadows so he can fulfill her ''real'' wishes and let her finally rest.]]
** An variation occurs in ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphoniaDawnOfTheNewWorld''. Marta falls head-over-heels in love with what she falsely believes Emil to be, clearly ignoring Emil's actual personality. When he calls her out on this in a moment of frustration, she draws back and realizes that, no, Emil really isn't like her fantasy. Then she ends up falling for Emil ''for real''.
** Part of the plot of ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'' is that the lead, [[TheHero Luke]] [[ShelteredAristocrat fon Fabre]] got IdentityAmnesia as a result of being kidnapped seven years ago. His fiancee Natalia is desperate for him to remember their ChildhoodMarriagePromise and focuses on that over everything else, including the fact Luke finds her [[AbhorrentAdmirer annoying]]. [[spoiler:It gets more complicated when TheReveal comes out.]] Natalia's CharacterDevelopment, thus, nearly entirely revolves around her moving past this trope.
* Shrowdy, the villain of ''VideoGame/AVampyreStory'', has a history of kidnapping women who resemble his mother. All of them made some mistake, did something that made Shrowdy realize they were people of their own. All of them can be found in the same pit... what's left of them.
* ''Franchise/{{Persona}}'':
** ''VideoGame/Persona2: Innocent Sin'':
*** Lisa is infatuated with Tatsuya from the word go, but it's clear that it's a shallow fantasy - the popular pretty girl who wants the "cool loner" for a boyfriend. Over the course of the game, Tatsuya is shown to be a loner because he's been hurt by loss and reluctant to open up to anyone again, but Lisa genuinely falls in love with the good person hiding behind the loner.
*** Hanakouji and Eikichi do the same with each other, though Eikichi's fantasy of Hanakouji is more from not having seen her for years, and her fantasy of him is actually a more shallow and immature person than he turns out to be. The reality of one another turns out to be far more fulfilling.
** ''VideoGame/Persona4'': Yukiko is an [[AloofDarkHairedGirl Aloof Dark-Haired]] YamatoNadeshiko at first glance, which attracts dozens of boys who buy into the prospect of having a classical Japanese beauty as a girlfriend. In reality, Yukiko is a shy girl with a love of [[TheHyena stupid humor]], [[NightmareFetishist horror]], and [[CloudCuckoolander strange thought processes]], all of which contrast with her proper appearance. One of the boys guilty of believing the fantasy appears in Chie's Social Link and complains about seeing Yukiko being cheerful because a not-gloomy Yukiko clashes with his fantasized version of her.
** ''VideoGame/Persona5'':
*** [[TalkingAnimal Morgana]]'s crush on Ann, which begins when he sees [[SadistTeacher Kamoshida]]'s sexualized "Princess Ann" cognition. From that point on, he starts calling the real Ann "Lady Ann", tries to act like a chivalrous knight around her, and believes she'll be into him if he manages to [[BecomeARealBoy become a human]]. Because the plot never takes his crush seriously, Morgana has no chance of even getting Ann to respond like he wants her to, and can only sigh in defeat if [[PlayerCharacter Joker]] romances her.
*** PlayedForLaughs with Yusuke, who's overcome by [[MsFanservice Ann]]'s beauty when first meeting her and begs her to be the model for his next painting. When the topic is brought up once more near the end of his Social Link, he says that after learning of her true (abrasive) personality he could never see her in the same light. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It takes Ann a moment to realize what he meant.]]
* ''VideoGame/PokemonScarletAndViolet'' has a platonic variation in the ''Teal Mask'' DLC. Kieran idolizes the ogre that the rest of his village shuns, because he views it as strong and independent. As a ShrinkingViolet with a BigSisterBully, he wishes he could be like that himself. It turns out that [[spoiler:while Ogerpon ''is'' [[NotEvilJustMisunderstood much nicer]] than the villagers assumed, she's also very lonely and ''wants'' to have someone to spend more time with. As such, she ends up choosing the player character to be her trainer instead of Kieran, because they spent more time with her. Due to his SanitySlippage, however, Kieran continues to ignore this and concludes that he just needs to get stronger in order to get Ogerpon away from the player]].
* ''VideoGame/SilentHillShatteredMemories'', [[spoiler:Harry's been dead for years and Cheryl is the patient. The Harry you've been playing as is the shadow in this equation; either he was physically manifested by Cheryl or it all took place only in her mind. Probably (hopefully) not a romantic version of this.]]
* In ''VisualNovel/SuperDanganronpaAnother2'', [[spoiler: Kanade Otonokoji was a {{yandere}} for her [[{{Twincest}} twin]] [[VillainousIncest sister]] Hibiki. However, it's made abundantly clear that Kanade doesn't care about her as a person, and in fact actively resents her. She fetishizes her sister because she's a malignant {{narcissist}} who simply sees Hibiki as a reflection of herself to play with, and instead of accepting her sister's shortcomings she decided to erase them by grooming her into an EmptyShell]].
* ''VideoGame/TalesSeries'':
** In ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'', the BigBad has shades of this towards [[spoiler:his sister, Martel. He may have loved her as his sister when she was alive, but after she was killed he promptly jumped off the slippery slope and committed numerous atrocities - including splitting the world in two and setting up the Church of Martel to breed the perfect vessel for his sister - to get her back. When Martel is briefly resurrected, she chews Mithos out for this and tells him this ''isn't'' what she wanted but instead a twisted interpretation of her last wish. When she leaves again, Mithos is furious and demands Colette return his sister. When Colette protests that Martel just wants the suffering to end, he purposefully misinterprets what she says and flees to Derris Kharlan rather than face that the reason his sister was never successfully brought back to life was that ''she didn't want to be.'' This is in stark contrast to Martel's fiancé, Yuan, who opposes Mithos in the shadows so he can fulfill her ''real'' wishes and let her finally rest.]]
** An variation occurs in ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphoniaDawnOfTheNewWorld''. Marta falls head-over-heels in love with what she falsely believes Emil to be, clearly ignoring Emil's actual personality. When he calls her out on this in a moment of frustration, she draws back and realizes that, no, Emil really isn't like her fantasy. Then she ends up falling for Emil ''for real''.
** Part of the plot of ''VideoGame/TalesOfTheAbyss'' is that the lead, [[TheHero Luke]] [[ShelteredAristocrat fon Fabre]] got IdentityAmnesia as a result of being kidnapped seven years ago. His fiancee Natalia is desperate for him to remember their ChildhoodMarriagePromise and focuses on that over everything else, including the fact Luke finds her [[AbhorrentAdmirer annoying]]. [[spoiler:It gets more complicated when TheReveal comes out.]] Natalia's CharacterDevelopment, thus, nearly entirely revolves around her moving past this trope.
* Shrowdy, the villain of ''VideoGame/AVampyreStory'', has a history of kidnapping women who resemble his mother. All of them made some mistake, did something that made Shrowdy realize they were people of their own. All of them can be found in the same pit... what's left of them.
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* ''VisualNovel/VirtuesLastReward'', [[spoiler:this is essentially why Tenmyouji has pursued Akane for so long after [[VisualNovel/NineHoursNinePersonsNineDoors escaping from the Nonary Game in Nevada]], despite the fact that the search destroyed his life. It isn't until the "End & Beginning" epilogue that he finally acknowledges (to his deep sadness) that the innocent Akane he once knew no longer exists]].
to:
* ''VisualNovel/ZeroEscape'': In ''VisualNovel/VirtuesLastReward'', [[spoiler:this is essentially why Tenmyouji has pursued Akane for so long after [[VisualNovel/NineHoursNinePersonsNineDoors escaping from the Nonary Game in Nevada]], despite the fact that the search destroyed his life. It isn't until the "End & Beginning" epilogue that he finally acknowledges (to his deep sadness) that the innocent Akane he once knew no longer exists]].
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* Kid Flash's constant flirting with Miss Martian on ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'' had shades of this, as did Miss Martian's own relationship with Superboy (on both ends). Although at the end of the first season, it turns out [[spoiler: that Superboy is the only person who ''really'' knew Miss Martian, rather than her "Hello Megan!" personality, even if she didn't realise it]].
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* Kid Flash's constant flirting with Miss Martian on ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'' ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice2010'' had shades of this, as did Miss Martian's own relationship with Superboy (on both ends). Although at the end of the first season, it turns out [[spoiler: that Superboy is the only person who ''really'' knew Miss Martian, rather than her "Hello Megan!" personality, even if she didn't realise it]].
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** in the episode "Preteen Scream", Phoebe has a crush on a singer named Ronnie Matthews, falling in love with his beautiful singing voice and heartful lyrics, until she wins a contest to meet him in person and finds out he's actually a shallow jerk who didn't even write ''[[ThatSyncingFeeling or sing]]'' his own songs [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and can't get her name right.]] She gets mad at Helga for teasing her about having a crush on him, but Helga points out that Phoebe was the one who begged her to come with her and was the one who was gushing about how great he is in the first place. When Phoebe admits she was stupid for falling for his act, Helga tells her anybody can be suckered in by a pretty face and they head home while making fun of Ronnie.
to:
** in In the episode "Preteen Scream", Phoebe has a crush on a singer named Ronnie Matthews, falling in love with his beautiful singing voice and heartful lyrics, until she wins a contest to meet him in person and finds out he's actually a shallow jerk who didn't even write ''[[ThatSyncingFeeling or sing]]'' his own songs [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and can't get her name right.]] She gets mad at Helga for teasing her about having a crush on him, but Helga points out that Phoebe was the one who begged her to come with her and was the one who was gushing about how great he is in the first place. When Phoebe admits she was stupid for falling for his act, Helga tells her anybody can be suckered in by a pretty face and they head home while making fun of Ronnie.Ronnie.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': In "Sleepover", Marco admits that he's unsure about whether he has a crush on Jackie because of who she is as a person, or because he has put her on a pedestal in his mind.
* ''WesternAnimation/StarVsTheForcesOfEvil'': In "Sleepover", Marco admits that he's unsure about whether he has a crush on Jackie because of who she is as a person, or because he has put her on a pedestal in his mind.
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* In the heat of [[Creator/LaurelAndHardy their]] [[PlotMandatedFriendshipFailure fight]] in ''Film/StanAndOllie'', Oliver accuses Stanley of a platonic version of this, claiming that the other man had only ever cared about their studio-mandated partnership and never about himself as a real friend. Fortunately [[AvertedTrope averted]] when the two reconcile after Ollie's health scare not long after, with both admitting they hadn't meant their harsh words that night and reaffirming their [[HeterosexualLifePartners friendship]] going forward.
-->'''Ollie:''' You loved "Laurel and Hardy". But you never loved me.
-->'''Ollie:''' You loved "Laurel and Hardy". But you never loved me.
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Literature was split off, moving to Loving A Shadow.Literature
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[[folder:Literature]]
* The ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
[[/folder]]
* The ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
[[/folder]]
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Updating Links, Alphabatizing
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*** The ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
[[folder:Literature]]
* The ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
[[/folder]]
* The ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'' includes a scene where Spider-Man, watching a holographic recreation of Gwen's death, reflects that he has come to recognize that he and Gwen wouldn't have worked out long-term, as she wanted a peaceful life where he seeks crusades, but that doesn't stop him from wishing that she could have lived a longer life.
[[/folder]]
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* "What A Fool Believes" by Music/TheDoobieBrothers is about a man meeting up with a woman he once knew, around whom he has built a fantasy that they were once in love and could be again. Although she is polite and kind, it is obvious that she barely remembers him and doesn't feel the same way.
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* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not", A girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
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* Inverted in Music/TheVeronicas' "Everything I'm Not", A Not"; a girl decides to leave her boyfriend because he's forcing her to be someone that she isn't.
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!!Examples:
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!!Other examples:
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* ''ComicBook/{{Batman}}'' villain Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, is [[DependingOnTheWriter sometimes]] portrayed as fixating on women (or, if the writer is prepared to go there, girls) who look like the title character of ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland'', convincing himself they're "his" Alice, and then kidnapping and mind-controlling them. In his ''Joker's Asylum'' issue, he has a meltdown simply on noticing his current obsession has a name badge saying "Catheryn", because what kind of not-Alice name is ''that''?
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* ''ComicBook/{{Batman}}'' villain Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, is [[DependingOnTheWriter sometimes]] portrayed as fixating on women (or, if the writer is prepared to go there, girls) who look like the title character of ''Literature/AlicesAdventuresInWonderland'', convincing himself they're "his" Alice, and then kidnapping and mind-controlling them. In his ''Joker's Asylum'' ''ComicBook/JokersAsylum'' issue, he has a meltdown simply on noticing his current obsession has a name badge saying "Catheryn", because what kind of not-Alice name is ''that''?
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* Due to his role as Edward Cullen in ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', Creator/RobertPattinson amassed a significant "fanbase" of scarily obsessive young girls and middle-aged women. He once took one, who had been particularly zealous in her stalking, out to dinner and spent the entire time complaining about his actual, real-life problems. He never saw her again. It's hard to have sexy vampire fantasies about an incredibly human man.
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* Due to his role as Edward Cullen in ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'', ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'', Creator/RobertPattinson amassed a significant "fanbase" of scarily obsessive young girls and middle-aged women. He once took one, who had been particularly zealous in her stalking, out to dinner and spent the entire time complaining about his actual, real-life problems. He never saw her again. It's hard to have sexy vampire fantasies about an incredibly human man.
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DelusionsOfParentalLove is another platonic variation, where a child views their parent in a very idealized light and refuses to believe that their caregiver don't actually care about them.
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-->-- '''Nick''' about '''Gatsby''' and his flame for '''Daisy''', ''Literature/TheGreatGatsby''
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-->-- '''Nick''' about '''Gatsby''' Gatsby and his flame for '''Daisy''', Daisy, ''Literature/TheGreatGatsby''
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** Canon Fries sometimes gets this treatment as well, with Batman questioning if he does his crimes out of love for Nora or just using her as an excuse.
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** Canon Fries sometimes gets this treatment as well, with Batman questioning if he does his crimes out of love for Nora or just using her as an excuse. In two seperate continuities, Victor has ''suceeded'' in curing Nora, only for her to claim that he's only in love with a vague memory of someone he knew years ago, and she is not that person. In both cases however, she CameBackWrong, and Freeze attributes this disconnect to that.
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* Kid Flash's constant flirting with Miss Martian on ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'' had shades of this, as did Miss Martian's own relationship with Superboy (on both ends).
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* Kid Flash's constant flirting with Miss Martian on ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'' had shades of this, as did Miss Martian's own relationship with Superboy (on both ends). Although at the end of the first season, it turns out [[spoiler: that Superboy is the only person who ''really'' knew Miss Martian, rather than her "Hello Megan!" personality, even if she didn't realise it]].
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* ''WesternAnimation/TheSuperMarioBrosMovie'': Bowser [[spoiler:never really saw Peach as a person so much as a literal object of his affection to make himself happy. The moment Peach personally ruins said chance for happiness, he has no problems trying to kill her.]]
