History Main / DoesntKnowTheirOwnChild

* Nearly all the kids' parents in ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}''. Justified since the Animorphs are upholding TheMasquerade, but ''none'' of them have any idea that something is wrong until the last few books, when [[spoiler:Marco reveals the truth to his father (his mother knew about the Yeerks already, being Visser One's host, and had figured out the truth about the Animorphs already) and then the rest of the Animorphs evacuate (or fail to rescue) their families a few books later]]. Rachel's mom probably has the hardest time coming to terms with her daughter's secret life and BloodKnight tendencies. And of course, [[spoiler:Loren has amnesia]], so she wouldn't know [[spoiler:Tobias]] anyway.
** Tom, despite being Jake's ''brother'' and living with him for the entire war, took 3 years to figure out Jake was an Animorph. He didn't even realize the "Jake" in #6 was actually [[HughMann Ax in Jake morph]], despite his weird behavior.

* ''ComicBook/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'' [[PlayedForDrama Played For Drama]]. Krynda Draay has a vision in which the First Watch Circle execute their Padawans. She suffers a stroke, rendering her unable to move. Subsequently, Haazen imprisons her in a crystal oubliette to keep her alive in stasis, where she experiences the Padawan massacre repeatedly. Krynda barely endures the torment because of her desperate hope that her son [[KnightTemplar Lucien Draay]] will never commit murder. When she is removed from the stasis pod and Lucien tells her the truth, that he did not kill any Padawans, he ordered their murders. Outraged and horrified, she tells him no mission is worth the lives of younglings and asked Lucien who had led him to believe that murdering the Padawans was the right thing to do. She is horrified when Lucien says she had, and that he had done it to carry out her mission—by any means necessary. Realizing that her teachings had led her son to murder his students, Krynda claimed that she had been wrong the entire time. In her last moments, she told Lucien to accept his mistakes and face the future with humility.
* In ''ComicBook/TheLongHalloween'', [[spoiler:Alberto Falcone]] claims that this trope is why they assumed the mantle of the Holiday Killer--[[spoiler:his father Carmine knows nothing about him and always considered him "weak," so Alberto decided to prove his strength by wiping out Carmine's enemies. Alberto chose the holiday gimmick because he himself was born on Valentine's Day. When Alberto is arrested, Carmine tries to bail him out, only for his son to ask him about that birthday. When Carmine can't answer, Alberto snaps that he'd rather stay in Arkham among the "other freaks" than have to spend one more minute with his father]].
* ''Comicbook/{{PS238}}'' has a particularly extreme example with Tyler's parents. They're two of the world's strongest superheroes, and at first remained convinced that their son couldn't possibly be a MuggleBornOfMages. Eventually they got Toby, Tyler's clone "brother", who is a RealityWarper; since then, they sometimes seem to forget that Tyler even exists. And it's implied that the only thing keeping them at that level instead of disowning Tyler outright is the fact that Toby used his powers on them.

* In ''ComicBook/RWBY2019'', Weiss' AlcoholicParent Willow doesn't even remember her age.

* "Series/OneDayAtATime2017'': Penelope's husband Victor appears in season 2 after having been in Afghanistan for all of season 1. While he is happy to finally get to see his kids again, it quickly becomes clear that he is completely out of touch with who they are as people, his daughter Elena most especially, as she is now too old for the doll he brought her as a gift. This gets even worse when she comes out to him and he refuses to take her seriously.

* ''VideoGame/AnotherCode R'': Due to his long periods away, Richard suffers a bad case of this in regard to his daughter Ashley. In particular, Ashley gets ticked off that she's unable to practice for a band competition due to her stuff getting stolen in the opening cutscene to which Richard acts surprised as not only did he not know Ashley was in a band to begin with, but that she wants to be a musician for a career.

** Dr. Silas Stone is a workaholic who loves his son Victor but has unintentionally fallen out of touch with his life. When Victor, upset about [[WhenYouComingHomeDad his father's absence at his recent football game despite having promised to attend]], confronts him about his negligence, Silas [[DramaticallyMissingThePoint argues that Victor should be focusing on bringing up his grades rather than banking on a football scholarship]], upon which Victor angrily points out that [[GeniusBruiser he has a 4.0 GPA]], which Silas would know if he were actually involved in his life.

* {{Downplayed}} in ''WesternAnimation/TheSpectacularSpiderMan'': Flash's parents invite Peter to his birthday party, noting that they're "best friends."

* In ''WesternAnimation/YoungJustice'', Sportsmaster, Artemis' abusive father, can't recognize his own daughter even when they're psychically linked. It takes her doing a move he taught her to believe [[spoiler:that "Tigress" is really her]], while her sister Jade is able to recognize her instantly.
--> '''Jade''': She's your daughter. Can't you feel her presence here?
--> '''Sportsmaster''': I don't even "feel" your presence here!

** In another episode, Peter ends up with baby swallows nesting in his newly-grown beard. When Lois points out that there are three of them, just like their own children, Peter imagines the kids' heads on the birds. He gets Stewie and Chris right, but can't picture Meg, and ends up picturing [[Franchise/StarWars Boba Fett]]'s helmet instead.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'' had an interesting twist. Hudson and Broadway know each other quite well, but according to WordOfGod, neither is aware they are father and son, respectively.[[note]]Gargoyles are born from eggs. After an egg is laid, it is placed in a rookery until it hatches. Gargoyle tradition is the entire clan acts as the child's parents, so a child often doesn't know its actual parents.[[/note]]

* In the ''Literature/LastHeraldMageTrilogy'', Lord Withen WantedAGenderConformingChild and harshly tried to [[CureYourGays "fix"]] his son Vanyel in the first book. In the second book, twelve years later he's undergone some CharacterDevelopment and TookALevelInKindness but their relationship is still rocky. Withen isn't as awful to his son and they can sometimes even hold a civil conversation, but Vanyel finds him infuriatingly unable or unwilling to comprehend crucial topics like "Companions aren't horses" and "I like men but I would never sleep with a child and it makes me sick that [[AllGaysArePedophiles you think I would]]", let alone smaller things like his interests and what he does for a living.

Likely to be a result from ParentalNeglect or being MaternallyChallenged. May overlap with AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents. Supertrope to FatherIDontWantToFight and AlwaysAChildToParent. Compare TheUnfavorite, which may cause this. Contrast ParentsKnowTheirChildren. Not to be confused with LukeYouAreMyFather, where parents meet somebody whom they find out is their child. Related to GenderNormativeParentPlot, where the parent may know of what their child is into while refusing to accept it and demanding that the child be how they prefer.

* ''Manga/{{Boruto}}'': Sasuke has been away on a mission most of Sarada's life so he doesn't know much about her. They're both awkward around each other, which isn't made better by Sasuke's [[NoSocialSkills general lack of social skills]]. The Parent and Child Day {{filler}} episode revolved around their tense relationship. One mistake Sasuke does is trying to treat Sarada like she's seven when she's almost a teenager.

* ''[[Fanfic/TheLamentSeriesChaoticNeutral Gabriel's Lament]]'': Despite being a massive ControlFreak whose micromanagement of Adrien's life got ''even worse'' in the new reality created by his Wish, Gabriel doesn't know that his son is/was a fan of ''Franchise/DoctorWho''. When Plagg attempts to explain how things could have played out similarly in some ways and dramatically different in others by calling it "Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey," the reference flies right over Gabriel's head, much to Plagg's ire.

* ''Fanfic/OriginOfANonHero'': Izuku knows practically ''nothing'' about his son Shikinori. When Shiki is having difficulty finding a job, Izuku invites him to work at his Hero Agency, joking about he could become a receptionist if he doesn't want to crunch numbers. Mathematics is Shikinori's favorite subject, and he was searching for a job as a math teacher.

* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'': Moist von Lipwig is so forgettable his mother often came back from school with the wrong child, which greatly helps him as a professional conman.

* Paul Fisher to his father in ''Literature/{{Tangerine}}''. Paul's dad sees him cutting out a newspaper article about the all-county soccer team, and asks if he made the team. This annoys Paul, who quizzes his father about what position he played on his soccer team. Paul's dad angrily asks "How am I supposed to know that?" So Paul asks him how many field goals his brother kicked that season -- Erik's football career being their dad's absolute favorite thing to talk about, ever. Paul's dad acknowledges the unfairness of this but also tries to claim that this season was ''really important'' for his brother.

* ''VideoGame/GodOfWarPS4'': This is the case with Kratos and Atreus, following years of Kratos being an incredibly distant parent. On several occasions the two express a lack of knowledge about the other - which Kratos admits is his own fault.

* In ''WesternAnimation/InvaderZim,'' Professor Membrane's [[ParentalNeglect neglect]] is a RunningGag. In one episode, Dib is trying to get his attention and Membrane is so distracted that he mistakes him for a fan wanting an autograph.

* ''ComicBook/{{Robin|Series}}'': Tim's father Jack does not know his son's hobbies or interests and often just assumes Tim likes the things Jack's ideal son would like. For example, his father thinks Tim likes playing American Football when Tim doesn't even like ''watching'' the game and prefers baseball, basketball, and skateboarding as sports.

* ''VideoGame/GodOfWarPS4'': This is the case with Kratos and Atreus, following years of Kratos being an incredibly distant parent. On several occasions they two express a lack of knowledge about the other - which Kratos admits is his own fault.

* ''Series/ThePretender'': In the episode "Bank", Parker's emotionally distant father comes to visit her and tries to do the affectionate father thing, complimenting her on a painting she has hanging in her house and reminiscing about when she was little and took piano lessons. When she points out that the painting was a graduation present ''from him'', and that he's wrong about what her favorite piano piece was, he shrugs it off.

* In ''Fanfic/TheStalkingZukoSeries'', Hakoda, has spent a long time either fighting the Fire Nation or being imprisoned by them at the Boiling Rock. As such, he doesn't fully realize how much his children, Katara and Sokka, changed in his absence. To his credit, he does try to make up for it by being a "cool dad," even if his efforts are rather awkward.

* ''Manga/DragonBall'': Son Goku doesn't realize until it is too late that his son Gohan is a reluctant fighter who doesn't enjoy fighting as he does. Since then, Goku never expects him to be a fighter anymore, especially when he grows up to be a scholar like Chi-Chi intended him to be.

* ''ComicBook/{{Robin|Series}}'': Tim's father Jack does not know his son's hobbies or interests and often just assumes Tim likes the things Jack's ideal son would like. For example, his father thinks Tim likes playing American Football when Tim doesn't even like ''watching'' the game and prefers baseball, basketball, and skateboarding as sports.
* In ''ComicBook/TheLongHalloween'', [[spoiler: Alberto Falcone]] claims that this trope is why [[spoiler: he]] assumed the mantle of the Holiday Killer--[[spoiler: his father Carmine knows nothing about him and always considered him "weak," so Alberto decided to prove his strength by wiping out Carmine's enemies. Alberto chose the holiday gimmick because he himself was born on Valentine's Day. When Alberto is arrested, Carmine tries to bail him out, only for his son to ask him about that birthday. When Carmine can't answer, Alberto snaps that he'd rather stay in Arkham among the "other freaks" than have to spend one more minute with his father.]]

* ''Comicbook/{{PS238}}'' has a particularly extreme example with Tyler's parents. They're two of the world's strongest superheroes, and at first remained convinced that their son couldn't possibly be a MuggleBornOfMages. Eventually they got Toby, Tyler's clone "brother," who is a RealityWarper; since then, they sometimes seem to forget that Tyler even exists. And it's implied that the only thing keeping them at that level instead of disowning Tyler outright is the fact that Toby used his powers on them.

* ''FanFic/TheLostKing'': while Garon is a [[DamnedByFaintPraise much better parent than most of his concubines]], he still has to have a journal to keep track of his numerous children's personal info such as likes and dislikes.

* ''FanFic/OriginOfANonHero'': Izuku knows practically ''nothing'' about his son Shikinori. When Shiki is having difficulty finding a job, he invites him to work at his Hero Agency, joking about he could become a receptionist if he doesn't want to crunch numbers. Mathematics is Shikinori's favorite subject, and he was searching for a job as a math teacher.
* In ''FanFic/InfinityTrainBlossomingTrail'', Professor Cerise is completely out of touch with his daughter. She's not interested in Pokémon, and he only shows interest in ''her'' whenever Pokémon are involved, reinforcing her resentment of them. Later chapters reveal that he doesn't even know his ''son'' either, whether it be that his son likes girly shows -- ''My Little Ponyta'' and ''Sofia the First'' -- or how ''both'' children were afraid of their father's anger if he ever learned about Chloe's love of the macabre and her knack of writing horror stories.

* In ''Film/HomeAlone1'', when Kate laments that she's a bad mother to the leader of the polka band, he answers that she's surrounded by bad fathers, citing that one of them forgets the names of his children half the time.
* One of the main sources of drama (and [[HilarityEnsues humor]]) in ''Film/FreakyFriday2003'' is that Tess Coleman doesn't know her teenage daughter Anna nearly as well as she thinks. When they [[FreakyFridayFlip swap bodies]], Tess subsequently finds out a lot more about Anna and comes to understand her better. One example is that Tess can't understand why Anna no longer wants to hang around with her ChildhoodFriend Stacy, not believing Anna when she claims she's now an AlphaBitch who bullies her. Tess-in-Anna's-body subsequently [[JerkWithaHeartOfJerk finds out the hard way]] why Stacy and Anna aren't friends anymore when Stacy [[spoiler: frames her for cheating on her exam after she'd attempted to make peace with her]]. The film also features an inversion of this trope, as Anna doesn't know her mother all that well either and thus also gains a better insight into her life.
* PlayedForDrama in the final scene of ''Film/GoneBabyGone''. When Helene's four-year-old daughter Amanda is abducted, she makes a televised plea for her to be returned, mentioning that she was taken along with her favourite doll Mirabelle. It's eventually [[TheReveal revealed]] that [[spoiler:Amanda's kidnapping and supposed death was actually a conspiracy between the police investigators and the girl's aunt, one of whom adopted Amanda, as they believed that Amanda would be better off with them due to Helene being a neglectful drug addict. Private investigator Patrick turns them in despite this and Amanda is returned to her mother; however, when Patrick visits the family and asks Amanda about Mirabelle, she says the doll's name is actually ''Anna''belle, revealing Helene didn't even know the name of her daughter's toy and causing Patrick to wonder if he made the right decision after all]].
* This is implied in the 1968 film version of ''Film/{{Romeo and Juliet|1968}}'', where, after she sends the Nurse out so she can talk to Juliet about an {{arranged marriage}}, Lady Capulet realizes that she doesn't really know how to talk to her and calls the Nurse back.
* ''Film/DavidsMother'': When Sally hears that Susan is pregnant, she says, "She's only eighteen!" Bea says, "She's nineteen."

* ''Literature/WhateleyUniverse'': Referenced in ''[[http://whateleyacademy.net/index.php/original-timeline/386-silent-nacht-chapter-5 Silent Nacht (Chapter 5)]]'', with Mr. Magic:
--> "Really... you never bothered to find out what SEX your child really is?" Macabre sneered. "Such a negligent parent hardly has any room for such righteous indignation."

* One episode of ''Series/ClarissaExplainsItAll'' has her mother convinced of this trope, and becoming annoyingly clingy as a result.
* In the episode "[[Recap/CriminalMindsS3E5SevenSeconds Seven Seconds]]" in ''Series/CriminalMinds'', the team were able to figure out Richard Jacobs was molesting his niece, who has gone missing, due to the fact that he could easily recall all of her likes and interests but couldn't recall anything about his own son. They state that it's common for a pedophile to focus entirely on their target to the point they lack any interest in their own kids.
* In ''Series/TheLoveBoat'' episode "Aunt Hilly," Vicki's titular rich aunt insists that she loves her son and sent him to boarding school for his own good, not to get rid of him. But when asked when he was born, she can't come up with anything more specific than "April or May," which she only remembers because [[IRememberBecause his birth interrupted a social function]].

* In ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'', Toph's parents are completely in the dark that their daughter is [[CuteBruiser one of the greatest earthbenders in the world]] and a LittleMissSnarker, and instead see her as a meek, delicate flower in need of constant protection. When Toph personally proves her father wrong on this assumption, her parents just double down on the idea that Toph needs constant protection, leading her to run away for good. [[spoiler: In ''ComicBook/AvatarTheLastAirbenderTheRift'', Toph and her father have an unintentional reunion, and though her father continues to be stubborn in the first two volumes, when Toph saves him during a cave-in he realizes how ridiculous he's been and slowly begins to start appreciating Toph's abilities instead of stifling them.]]
* ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'': Often PlayedForLaughs regarding [[ButtMonkey Meg]] [[TheUnfavorite Griffin]], who is sometimes portrayed as so neglected that her parents have ''no idea who she is.''

--->'''Meg:''' ''[to Lois and Peter]'' I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF! I'm going upstairs and eating a whole bowl of peanuts!\\
''[Lois and Peter stare at her, uncomprehending]''\\

''[she runs upstairs sobbing]''\\

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Gargoyles}}'' had an interesting twist. Hudson and Broadway know each other quite well, but according to WordOfGod, neither is aware they are father and son, respectively.[[note]]Gargoyles are born from eggs. After an egg is laid, it is placed in a rookery until it hatches. Gargoyle tradition is the entire clan acts as the child's parents, so a child often doesn't know its actual parents.[[/note]]
* PlayedForDrama in ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'' regarding Helga and her parents. Both Big Bob and Miriam [[ParentalFavoritism heap praise and attention]] on their firstborn daughter Olga, to Helga's detriment -- Miriam doesn't know how old she is, and Bob tends to call her "Olga" despite her ''repeatedly'' telling him who she really is. Each gets an episode where they're forced to confront their total lack of understanding about Helga.
* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/AsToldByGinger'' sees the title character calling Macie's parents, who are both brilliant psychiatrists completely wrapped up in their work, out for this. When they realize that they know absolutely nothing about their daughter, they try to make up for it; unfortunately, they do so by [[KiddieKid treating her like a five-year-old]], doing things like buying her a child's playset and hosting her birthday party at a petting zoo. Macie likes the attention and goes along with the activities for a while, but ultimately decides that she'd rather try developing a proper relationship with her parents instead.
* {{Downplayed}} in ''WesternAnimation/TheSpectacularSpiderMan:'' Flash's parents invite Peter to his birthday party, noting that they're "best friends."
-->'''Flash:''' ''[[WeUsedToBeFriends That was in nursery school!]]''

* ''Comicbook/{{PS238}}'' has a particularly extreme example with Tyler's parents. They're two of the world's strongest superheroes, and at first remained convinced that their son couldn't possibly be a MuggleBornOfMages. Eventually they got Toby, Tyler's clone "brother," who is a RealityWarper; since then, they sometimes seem to forget that Tyler even exists.

* ''Series/AllMyChildren''. Shortly after tracking down her birth mother Erica Kane, Kendall Hart asked her point blank, "Do you love me?" Just as bluntly, Erica told her "No"--having given her up for adoption at birth and never having seen her since, she's a complete stranger to her.

* In ''Film/HomeAlone'', when Kate laments that she's a bad mother to the leader of the polka band, he answers that she's surrounded by bad fathers, citing that one of them forgets the names of his children half the time.
* One of the main sources of drama (and [[HilarityEnsues humor]]) in ''Film/FreakyFriday2003'' is that Tess Coleman doesn't know her teenage daughter Anna nearly as well as she thinks. When they [[FreakyFridayFlip swap bodies]], Tess subsequently finds out a lot more about Anna and comes to understand her better. One notable example is that Tess can't understand why Anna no longer wants to hang around with her ChildhoodFriend Stacy, not believing Anna when she claims she's now an AlphaBitch who bullies her. Tess-in-Anna's-body subsequently [[JerkWithaHeartOfJerk finds out the hard way]] why Stacy and Anna aren't friends anymore when Stacy [[spoiler: frames her for cheating on her exam after she'd attempted to make peace with her]]. The film also features an inversion of this trope, as Anna doesn't know her mother all that well either and thus also gains a better insight into her life.

* ''WebAnimation/HelluvaBoss'': To show off how much of an AbusiveParent he is from the get-go, Paimon is introduced showing that he doesn't bother remembering his kids due to so many of them, having to ask an imp employee for Stolas's name.

* ''Manga/DragonBall'': Son Goku doesn't realize until it is too late that his son Gohan is a reluctant fighter who doesn't enjoy fighting like he does. Since then, Goku never expects him to be a fighter anymore, especially when he grows up to be a scholar like Chi-Chi intended him to be.

* In ''Anime/SailorMoon'', it's PlayedForLaughs when Usagi's father sees "the Princess of Ivanova" all dolled-up in formal wear and wonders if his daughter will look like that when she is older. He didn't realize that it ''is'' Usagi who was using her Disguise Pen to sneak into the ball.

* ''Fanfic/RWBYScars'': Willow spent so much of her children's childhoods [[ParentalNeglect ignoring them]] that she can't remember what their favorite foods are. When she tries to make Weiss ComfortFood after [[spoiler:Weiss [[InterruptedSuicide nearly kills herself]]]], she opts to make schnitzel because that something Atleseans generally like.
* ''Fanfic/ShiningAndSweet'': [[VideoGame/PunchOut Little Mac]]'s parents know him so little, they've even forgotten his middle name (his mother claims it to be William, when it's actually Hiroki) and lost track of how old he is (they think he's 15, he's actually 18).

* ''Literature/MyTeacherIsAnAlien:'' After Peter [[StayWithTheAliens leaves Earth]], his distraught father begins to ask Duncan about where he might have disappeared to, since he's the only one of Peter's friends that he knows. The thing is, Peter really had [[FriendlessBackground no friends]] and Duncan was his [[TheBully school bully]]--it's just that Peter let him stay over one night after Duncan had run away from home.

* ''VideoGame/AnotherCode R'': Due to his long periods away, Richard suffers a bad case of this in regards to his daughter Ashley. In particular, Ashley gets ticked off that she's unable to practice for a band competition due to her stuff getting stolen in the opening cutscene to which Richard acts surprised as not only did he not know Ashley was in a band to begin with, but that she wants to be a musician for a career.

* ''WebAnimation/HelluvaBoss'': To show off how much of an AbusiveParent he is from the get go, Paimon is introduced showing that he doesn't bother remembering his kids due to so many of them, having to ask an imp employee for Stolas's name.

* ''WesternAnimation/AaahhRealMonsters'' has Slickis genuinely unable to remember what activities his son, Ickis, likes.
* In ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'', Toph's parents are completely in the dark that their daughter is [[CuteBruiser one of the greatest earthbenders in the world]] and a LittleMissSnarker, and instead see her as a meek, delicate flower in need of constant protection. When Toph personally proves her father wrong on this assumption, her parents just double down on the idea that Toph needs constant protecting, leading her to run away for good. [[spoiler: In ''ComicBook/AvatarTheLastAirbenderTheRift'', Toph and her father have an unintentional reunion, and though her father continues to be stubborn in the first two volumes, when Toph saves him during a cave-in he realizes how ridiculous he's been and slowly begins to start appreciating Toph's abilities instead of stifling them.]]

** In the episode "Saturdays of Thunder", Homer (besides not trying to stop Bart on the dangerous things he is doing), couldn't answer a single question regarding his son like just a hobby or the name of one of his friends.