History Main / CompletelyOffTopicReport

[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS36E5Oxygen "Oxygen"]], the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation. In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS36E1ThePilot ''The Pilot'']] his companion Bill mentions that he does this almost every lecture and the college doesn't care.

* On one episode of ''Series/FullHouse'', D.J. gives Kimmy a job writing for their school's newspaper and assigns her to write a story about a school basketball game. Kimmy comes back with an interview with the team's equipment manager. [[EpicFail Written on a napkin.]]
-->'''D.J. (reading):''' "Ever wonder about that mega-cute guy on the basketball team who's always wiping up the sweat puddles?...And girls, he spots those puddles with eyes of blue. Not sky-blue, but more like turquoisey-grey-blue with little specks of green"?!\\
'''Kimmy:''' How's THAT for investigative reporting?\\
'''D.J.:''' Kimmy, you forgot to investigate who won the game!

[[folder:Web Comics]]

** In "Das Bus," Bart gives a report on Libya:

* ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'': Jason once had to do an oral presentation on ''Literature/OldYeller''. He ended up working on the powerpoint's SugarWiki/VisualEffectsOfAwesome instead, so when he finished his teacher had only one question: "Did you actually read the book?"

* ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'': Calvin usually manages to produce incredibly half-assed on-topic reports, but the time he was supposed to write about overpopulation and wrote a story about Susie getting eaten by dinosaurs ending with "...at least, that's how it ''ought'' to be" was rather a stretch.

* Averted in ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'': Calvin ''does'' produce reports on the given subject, but they're either less than half-assed (his collection of fifty bugs consisted of a drowned earthworm, a squashed fly, a live ant and a piece of lint that ''looks'' like a bug), nonsensical (he needed to find fifty different types of leaves, but sold the planet to invading aliens to get fifty of ''their'' leaves instead, which look like maple leaves cut in weird shapes) or simply not even researched (his report claiming that bats are bugs). The one time he actually worked on a report that he was actually excited about (dinosaurs), it started out quite ambitiously thanks to his brain-enlarging device but became three sentences about how T-Rexes were carnivores instead of scavengers because they're cooler that way.

* ''WebAnimation/HowToKillAMockingbird'' centers entirely on one of these, becoming an increasingly absurd and actionized telling of ToKillAMockingbird, as presented by someone who only read the first chapter

* In one of the ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' novels, Marco is required to do a book report on ''Literature/LordOfTheRings'', and does so horribly that it was is obvious he didn't read the book.

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[DoctorWhoS36E5Oxygen "Oxygen"]], the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation. In [[Recap/DoctorWhoS36E1ThePilot ''The Pilot'']] his companion Bill mentions that he does this almost every lecture and the college doesn't care.

* ''WesternAniamtion/SouthPark'': In "Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride", the audience hears the conclusion of a report Cartman is making to the class:

* ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'': Jason once had to do an oral presentation on ''Literature/OldYeller''. He ended up working on the powerpoint's VisualEffectsOfAwesome instead, so when he finished his teacher had only one question: "Did you actually read the book?"

* On one episode of ''Sries/FullHouse'', D.J. gives Kimmy a job writing for their school's newspaper and assigns her to write a story about a school basketball game. Kimmy comes back with an interview with the team's equipment manager. [[EpicFail Written on a napkin.]]

* On one episode of ''Full House'', D.J. gives Kimmy a job writing for their school's newspaper and assigns her to write a story about a school basketball game. Kimmy comes back with an interview with the team's equipment manager. [[EpicFail Written on a napkin.]]

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In [[DoctorWhoS36E5Oxygen "Oxygen"]], the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation.

* ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'': Jason once had to do an oral presentation on OldYeller. He ended up working on the powerpoint's VisualEffectsOfAwesome instead, so when he finished his teacher had only one question: "Did you actually read the book?"
* Averted in ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'': Calvin ''does'' produce reports on the given subject, but they're either less than half-assed (his collection of fifty bugs consisted of a drowned earthworm, a squashed fly, a live ant and a piece of lint that ''looks'' like a bug), nonsensical (he needed to find fifty different types of leaves, but sold the planet to invading aliens to get fifty of ''their'' leaves instead, which look like maple leaves cut in weird shapes) or simply not even researched (his report claiming that bats are bugs). The one time he actually worked on a report that he was actually excited about (dinosaurs), it started out quite ambitiously thanks to his brain-enlarging device but became three sentences about how T-Rexes were carnivores instead of scavengers because they're cooler that way.
* ''ComicStrip/BigNate'': Nate's had a lot of these. Once he was supposed to write a report on Paul Revere, and instead writes it on Paul Revere from the band "Paul Revere and the Raiders".

[[folder:Theater]]
* In the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' stage play and animated special ''Theatre/YoureAGoodManCharlieBrown'', the kids have to write a report on ''Literature/TheTaleOfPeterRabbit''. Schroeder writes about RobinHood, valiantly attempting to tie it into ''Peter Rabbit'' in the final line.

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]

* The girls in ''Film/HeavenlyCreatures'' are assigned to write an essay on the British Royal Family. Juliet instead writes one on the royal family of Borovnia, the fantasy realm she and Pauline created. Pauline comes to her defense by pointing out the assignment never specified which royals.
* In ''Film/{{Clueless}}'', Cher summarizes Haiti/American relations for her class debate this way:
-->'''Cher:''' So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

* In the ''Series/StargateSG1'' episode "Prodigy" Samantha Carter gives a guest lecture at the Air Force Academy and meets Cadet Jennifer Hailey, a brilliant but bored student who once ignored the assignment in favor of a paper titled "Towards a New Cosmology of Multiple Realities". Sam ends up recruiting her into Stargate Command.
* Gilda Radner had two characters on ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' for whom this was their entire schtick, both commentators on "Weekend News Update". One was Emily Litella, who, being hard of hearing as well as a bit naive, always misunderstood the topic she was supposed to be speaking about (too much violence on television, for instance) and ends up discussing a different topic (too much ''violins'' on television). When told of her mistake, she would the drop the topic entirely, ending with her CatchPhrase "Never mind." The other character, Roseanne Roseannadana, would always veer from the original subject and into some embarrassing, graphically disgusting personal anecdote. When told what that had to do with the original topic, she responded with her own CatchPhrase, "It's always something."
* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In "[[DoctorWhoS36E5Oxygen Oxygen]]", the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation.

* In ''WesternAnimation/CodenameKidsNextDoor'', "Operation A.R.C.H.I.V.E.", the episode as a whole is presented as a widescreened history of kids and adults, narrated by Numbuh 1. Towards the end of the story, Numbuh 1's teacher interrupts and scolds him, revealing this story to be just an oral report, saying that the report had nothing to do with the ''signing of the Declaration of Independence''.

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In "Oxygen", the Doctor delivers a lecture on all the ways that space can kill you to a packed lecture theatre. It was supposed to be on crop rotation.

A [[DownplayedTrope downplayed]] version might involve the report or speech going on a tangent (i.e. vaguely related to the assigned prompt). Even then they might drift into a completely different subject, making you wonder how they managed to get there. Compare OneTractMind.

A usually PlayedForLaughs trope, this occurs when a character, usually a student, gives a report (or other written assignment) that has absolutely nothing to do with the assignment given. Sometimes this occurs for other reasons, however. Perhaps a character is so attached to a particular subject that they just want to write about this topic and somehow tie it to the original prompt, regardless of how convoluted the relation is. This is a good way for a creator to show off a character's quirk. Or maybe a character discovers a special gift or talent by steering away from the topic. Another commonly used reason is to show that a character has some sort of agenda, so they write something unrelated (or tangentially related) to the assignment as a thinly-veiled attack or call to action.

A [[DownplayedTrope downplayed]] version might involve the report or speech going on a tangent (i.e. vaguely related to the assigned prompt). Even then they might drift into a completely different subject, making you wonder how they managed to get there.

* In the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' stage play and animated special ''Theatre/YoureAGoodManCharlieBrown'', the kids have to write a report on ''Literature/TheTaleOfPeterRabbit''. Linus writes about RobinHood, valiantly attempting to tie it into ''Peter Rabbit'' in the final line.

!!Examples

[[AC:{{Anime}} and {{Manga}}]]

[[AC:{{Comedy}}]]
* [[http://blog.ravmilim.co.il/ There's an old joke]] (or rather was, as its relevance has obviously diminished) about some Jews' tendencies towards SingleIssueWonk about the question of the political status of Jews, a.k.a. 'the Jewish Question': A professor of zoology at Harvard asked his students to write a paper about elephants. A [[GermanicEfficiency German]] student wrote a paper titled 'Foreword to the Bibliography to the Elephantine Sciences', a [[EverythingSoundsSexierInFrench French]] student wrote one titled 'The Elephant's Love Life', an [[QuintessentialBritishGentleman English]] student wrote one titled 'Elephant Hunting', an [[AmericansAreCowboys American]] student wrote a one titled 'How to Raise Bigger and Better Elephants', and a [[JewsLoveToArgue Jewish]] student wrote a paper titled 'The Elephant and the Jewish Question'. A common variant has only the Jewish one, writing a paper that begins with, 'The elephant is a large animal that has a tail that resembles a worm. One people known as bookworms are the Jews', and goes to to discuss the Jewish Question at length. Since then, the expression 'the elephant and the Jewish Question' has been used in Hebrew to mean 'two unrelated subjects linked together with a tenuous connection', made HilariousInHindsight by the involvement of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Peel,_1st_Earl_Peel William Peel, 1st Earl Peel]] in the issue of dividing Mandatory Palestine, as ''pil'' is the Hebrew word for "elephant".

[[AC:{{Film}}]]
* In ''Film/MeanGirls'', Gretchen reads a report in class about ''Theatre/JuliusCaesar'', specifically about the murder scene, which is a very thinly veiled attack against Regina's tyrannous behaviour and has fairly little to do with the actual plot.

--> So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

[[AC:{{Literature}}]]
* PhilipRoth's ''The Counterlife''. Nathan Zuckerman is asked by his brother Henry's widow (named Carol) to write a 3000 word eulogy on him, but being an author, he can't help but see his brother's life as novel-material and is completely unable to write a proper eulogy. He ends up writing some kind of biography based on what said brother told him before his passing; it describes in a romanticized way Henry's long psychological agony about his sexual impotence, and his adulterous relationship with his assistant Wendy, which Carol wasn't supposed to know about.

[[AC:LiveActionTV]]

-->'''Picard''': Dr. Vassbinder gave an hour long dissertation on the ionization of warp nacelles before he realized that the topic was supposed to be psychology.
-->'''La Forge''': Why didn't anybody tell him?
-->'''Picard''': There was no opportunity. There was no pause. He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence, moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt. It was really quite hypnotic.
* In the ''Series/StargateSG1'' episode "Prodigy" Samantha Carter gives a guest lecture at the Air Force Academy and meets Cadet Jennifer Hailey, a brilliant but bored student who once ignored the assignment in favor of a paper titled "Towards a New Cosmology of Multiple Realities". Sam ended up recruiting her into Stargate Command.

[[AC:NewspaperComics]]
* One ''ComicStrip/CowAndBoy'' strip had Billy present his science fair project as the dangers of molecular teleportation to his class, explaining that they would end up as people that got their genes mixed up animals or get their limbs in the wrong places. After Billy finishes his report, the teacher tells him that she thought that his project was on photosynthesis and Billy responds "My plant died".
* ''ComicStrip/{{Foxtrot}}'': Jason once had to do an oral presentation on OldYeller. He ended up working on the powerpoint's VisualEffectsOfAwesome instead, so when he finished his teacher had only one question: "Did you actually read the book?"
* Averted in ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes'': Calvin ''does'' produce reports on the given subject, but they're either less than half-assed (his collection of fifty bugs consisted of a drowned earthworm, a squashed fly, a live ant and a piece of lint that ''looks'' like a bug), nonsensical (he needed to find fifty different types of leaves, but sold the planet to invading aliens to get fifty of ''their'' leaves instead, which look like maple leaves cut in weird shapes) or simply not even researched (his report claiming that bats are bugs). The one time he actually worked on a report that he was actually excited about (dinosaurs), it started out quite ambitiously thanks to his brain-enlarging device but became three sentences about how T-Rexes were carnivores instead of scavengers because they're cooler that way.

[[AC:TabletopGames]]

[[AC:{{Theatre}}]]

[[AC:{{Webcomics}}]]

[[AC:WebOriginal]]

[[AC:WesternAnimation]]

-->'''Arthur:'''Buster, you hardly did any work at all. Your whole report was about eggnog.
-->'''Buster:'''That's not my fault. They put it right next to "Egypt" in the encyclopedia.
* In the ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?", the first restaurant review Homer submits mostly consists of nonsequiturs and random rambling:
-->'''Editor:''' [laughs]
-->'''Homer:''' Well, what do you think?
-->'''Editor:''' This is a joke, right? I mean this is the stupidest thing I've ever read!
-->'''Homer:''' What's wrong with it?
-->'''Editor:''' You keep using words like "Pasghetti" and "Momatoes" You make numerous threatening references to the UN and at the end you repeat the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again.
-->'''Homer:''' Oh, it's so hard to get to 500 words.

-->'''Cartman:''' "And so you see, Series/SimonAndSimon were not brothers in real life, only on television."
-->'''Mr Garrison:''' Thank you for that presentation, Eric, but the assignment was on Asian cultures. You get a D-."

* In the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' stage play and animated special ''You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown'', the kids have to write a report on ''Literature/TheTaleOfPeterRabbit''. Linus writes about RobinHood, valiantly attempting to tie it into ''Peter Rabbit'' in the final line.

* In the ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' episode "Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?", the first restaurant review he submits mostly consists of nonsequiturs and random rambling:

-->'''Editor:'' You keep using words like "Pasghetti" and "Momatoes" You make numerous threatening references to the UN and at the end you repeat the words "Screw Flanders" over and over again.

-->'''Cartman:''' "And so you see, Series/SimonAndSimon' were not brothers in real life, only on television."

* In the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' stage play and animated special ''You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown'', the kids have to write a report on ''Literature/TheTaleOfPeterRabbit''. Linus writes about RobinHood, valiantly attempting to tie it into ''Peter Rabbit'' in the final line.

WebOriginal