History Main / BestHerToBedHer

* Previous stage decoration [[Manga/AzumangaDaioh Tardboy]] and his "sub" [[Manga/{{Yotsuba}} Torako]] from ''Roleplay/YukariIsFree'' might be considered of this type.

* Britomart (an {{expy}} of Bradamante) in Edmund Spenser's poem ''Literature/TheFaerieQueene'' is another example, with pretty much the same vow as Red Sonja's if for completely different reasons. She is an allegorical figure of the virgin Knight of Chastity.

* ''VideoGame/{{Discworld}}'' has a Red Sonja {{Expy}}, who had the standard oath regarding laying with a man who could defeat her. Later on in the game, she notes that she was finally defeated by a man who challenged her to a game of tiddlywinks. It seems her goddess didn't stipulate that she had to be defeated in armed combat. Rincewind learns of this, much to his regret, as he is ''really'' good at tiddlywinks.

* ''LightNovel/TheRisingOfTheShieldHero'': Sadina will only marry someone who can beat her, but not at fighting; ''at drinking''. This is, unfortunately, very difficult due to her incredibly high alcohol tolerance and drinking experience. ''Fortunately'', she has found someone with innate immunity to alcohol of any kind, quantity, or purity: [[TheHero Naofumi]].

* In the ''WesternAnimation/Ben10'' Universe [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Tetramands]] have their courtship working that way. Notably, Tetramands possess natural SuperStrength, and females are naturally stronger than males, so this is an uphill battle for males. ''WesternAnimation/Ben10Omniverse'' reveals that [[LovableRogue Kevin]] defeated Tetramand princess Looma when he was 13, though he was only interested in the engine her family would give him as a wedding gift. When the time to marry her came, he tricked Ben into defeating Looma in a duel, leading him to become her fiancée instead.

* ''LightNovel/AkuyakuReijouLevel99WatashiWaUraBossDesuGaMaouDeWaArimasen'': This is what Yumiela tells would-be suitors who only seek a relationship with her for their own benefit. Specifically, she claims she only wishes to marry someone stronger than her. Since there is no one stronger than her, or even capable of coming close to her eventually, most suitors give up on her after hearing that. [[spoiler:Patrick, believing this to be true, started using the growth amulet to catch up to her.]]

* ''Series/TheProfessionals''. In "Long Shot", Bodie and Doyle see an attractive female member of [=CI5=] practicing her marital arts. Bodie claims that she is a Women Libber who will only date a man she feels superior to, and convinces Doyle to spar her and take a dive. Bodie then challenges her and, after winning, asks her out which she accepts, having already rejected Doyle because "she couldn't date a man she felt superior to." Doyle isn't happy at having been had, but at the end of the episode [[CheatersNeverProsper he's shown walking off with the girl instead, to Bodie's confusion.]]

* PlayedWith in ''Theatre/AnnieGetYourGun''. Frank Butler begins to fall in love with Annie Oakley after she beats him in a sharpshooting contest, but their relationship falters when he realizes she's better and more popular than him. In the end, Annie throws a shooting contest between them, as NoGuyWantsAnAmazon. In newer productions, Frank throws away his shot as well, realizing such intense competition isn't healthy. [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory In reality,]] Butler was nothing but supportive of Oakley's career and in fact, gave up his own career to be her manager.

* ''Theatre/AnnieGetYourGun'', in which Annie throws a shooting contest to bed her LoveInterest, as NoGuyWantsAnAmazon.

* Along with TheSpartanWay, this was the means that Spartan men 'chose' their wives as the Women of Sparta were just as skilled in combat as the men. This was because the Spartans saw the women as the last line of defense should the army fail in the field. This level of training was also believed to make it easier for the women to have children. This line from Film/ThreeHundred put it:
--> '''Xerxes:''' ... think of your women.
--> '''Leonidas:''' Clearly you don't know our women. I should've marched some of ''them'' up here, judging by what I've seen.

--> ''Xerxes:'' ... think of your women.
--> ''Leonidas:'' Clearly you don't know our women. I should've marched some of '''them''' up here, judging by what I've seen.

* The shield-maidens in ''WesternAnimation/RonalTheBarbarian'' have a tradition that demands any shield-maiden defeated in battle by a man to marry him. A while into the film, Zandra mentions this to Ronal. Much later, it turns out that [[spoiler:Volcazar knows about this tradition pretty well; he could finish Zandra off after their fight, but he prefers to make her marry him.]]

This trope describes a situation where a woman can or will fall in love only with a man who can conquer her. Her defeat may take place in actual physical combat (this obviously only applies to warrior women), or in any skill or recreational endeavor that the woman is skilled at and takes so {{serious|Business}}ly that she bases her dating decisions on it, or in a metaphorical sort of battle -- giving way once she meets a man who can take charge and show her that he is the one who is making the decisions. In either case, once she is defeated by a man in this capacity, she will surrender her heart and/or body to him.

What forbids such a woman from loving a man who can't "master" her varies, but there is always some reason. She may have her own moral code telling her not to [[SocialDarwinist choose a mate weaker than herself]]. It may be an ancient custom or tradition of her people. It may even be religious or magical: there is a curse (or a blessing) on her that will not allow her to submit until she meets the man who demonstrates that he is worthy to have her.

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* A less extreme version of this trope can be found in ''Manga/{{Bakuman}}'' where Iwase, the smartest girl in school, believes that she and Takagi are now a couple when he gets better grades than her. Too bad he thinks she was just making a friendly competition out of it. As of recent chapters [[spoiler:she's likely going to enter the field of manga in order to compete with him]].

* Played with in ''Manga/DrStone''. The village tradition is that whoever wins the [[TournamentArc Grand Bout]] becomes the new chief and marries the priestess. The current priestess, Ruri, is an IllGirl, and the strongest man in the village, Magma, openly talks about murdering her once he becomes chief and has no further use for her. Ruri's sister, [[ActionGirl Kohaku]], refuses to let anything happen to her, and fights against Magma herself. So it's more like "best her sister to bed her".

* Hinagiku of ''Manga/HayateTheCombatButler''. Hayate taught her how to defeat her fears (or the knowledge how to), but when admitting it to Ayumu, she still wants Hayate to be the one to start the romance.

* Inverted in ''Manga/PokemonAdventures''. It is heavily hinted that the reason why Winona broke it off with Wallace was that having the regional champion as her boyfriend made her insecure of her own abilities.

* ''Manga/RecordOfLodossWar''. Shiris was bested by Parn in the first episode of the TV series, and after that, she was adamant that she was in love with him; her partner Orson pointed out that she was resentful of Parn beating her and desperately wanted to replace that resentment with another emotion, namely "love", in order to regain her lost pride. [[ArmorPiercingslap She was so angry by Orson's remarks that she hit him.]]

* ''LightNovel/TheRisingOfTheShieldHero'': Sadina will only marry someone who can best her, but not at fighting; ''at drinking''. This is, unfortunately, very difficult due to her incredibly high alcohol tolerance and drinking experience. ''Fortunately'', she has found someone with an innate immunity to alcohol of any kind, quantity, or purity: [[TheHero Naofumi]].

* ''Animation/CupidsChocolates'': A GenderInverted example. As children, Xueli thought that she needed to be better than Haoyi at everything in order to grow closer and earn his love. It's revealed that her mother told her this, both as a motivator to make Xueli successful and also because it reflected her own past. Unfortunately for Xueli, her mother was completely wrong and Xueli's obsession with constantly outdoing and belittling Haoyi actually made him stop wanting anything to do with her.

* Parodied in ''ComicBook/CerebusTheAardvark'' as Red Sophia. Her father hires Cerebus to torture the man who besmirched her honor. During the journey her logorrhea is too much, they fight, he wins, she pledges service. (He refused to demand sexual favors from her at that point, instead trying to teach her a lesson by using her as a pack mule. She didn't learn; Sophia is simply TooKinkyToTorture.) The eventual torture is forcing the blackguard (who saw her naked) to marry Sophia. Years later she marries Cerebus.

** In issue 15 of the current series, she and two friends take on a god -- a weakened god, but still a quasi-deity at least. He naturally trounces them. Whether that counts as a fair fight, which is what has to be waged for it to work, is moot: [[spoiler: he doesn't invoke the trope -- ''she'' does. Because, the writer said, she was using the loophole wherein someone who's beaten her isn't necessarily someone who ''has'' to have sex with her, or whom she even has to ''let'', but whom she can ''allow'' to do so if she wants...and the writer decided she ''did'' want, sometime after the fight was over and they were allies. It's notable that in the new series the portrayal seems to be romantic love with someone who hasn't beaten her isn't forbidden -- just physical affection.]] [[note]] This was further spelled out in issue #31, where it is revealed that Sonja did share a romantic, but non-physical relationship with a king who hired her as his bodyguard and grew to want her as his queen. Sonja refused, fearful of killing the man she loved if he pressed the issue of being able to consummate their love and challenged her to single combat. Seeking guidance from her goddess, Sonja was told that she could abandon her oath but that she would lose the superior skills she had been blessed with. Deciding this was acceptable, Sonja went to the King's bedchamber to tell him her decision, just as a group of assassins with magical weapons showed up. Sonja was able to repel the assassins but knew the only reason she was able to do so was because of her blessed skills. Her sense of responsibility to hold to her oath to fight evil at the expense of a peaceful life held and she resigned her post the next day.[[/note]]

* Parodied by the character Blue Opal in the Phil Foglio comic ''ComicBook/XXXenophile'', for whom this was more a curse than an oath. After the sexually-frustrated warrior out-drinks and out-fights every man in the bar, the only one left is a meek man who invites her to play a strategy game with him. The curse is lifted after he beats her at the game--which, as they realize later, has a name that [[ProphecyTwist translates as "Battle"]]. Joyful sex ensues. This pisses off the goddess who put that rule in place royally, but the guy's patron deity calms her down by teaching her "Battle", with the strong implication it's about to go the same way it did "downstairs".

* In ''WesternAnimation/{{Brave}}'', Merida is set to be [[ArrangedMarriage married off]] to whoever the best archer is among her suitors. She competes as well, since she's a better archer than any of them and doesn't want to be married.
* ''WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994'': Downplayed with Nala. When she and her childhood best friend Simba reunite after not seeing each other for years, they almost instantly fall in love with each other. They proceed to have a FallingInLoveMontage where they do many romantic things together while essentially having a "first date" together, including nuzzling, teasing each other, and flirting together. At the climax of this though, they start playfully wrestling together, with Simba ending up the "winner" by (accidentally) pinning Nala. Nala noticably becomes even more affectionate with Simba after this, giving him a surprise [[SmoochOfVictory lick on the cheek]] as a "reward" for finally beating her, and [[HeldGaze stares up at him seductively]] as he lays on top of her. [[spoiler:It is also ''heavily'' implied that [[GRatedSex they mated together]] after this, resulting in Nala getting pregnant with their daughter Kiara.]]

* The Marat in ''Literature/CodexAlera'' are a subversion. Marat women ''do'' give potential suitors a challenge that they must complete to win their affection. However, the challenge isn't necessarily against the woman herself, and either way the woman chooses the challenge. This means, as Tavi notes, if the woman doesn't fancy that particular suitor, she need only choose a contest he's likely to fail at. Kitai's challenge to Tavi: Defeat the BigBad.

* The ancient Chinese tale ''Hua Guan Suo Zhuan'' speaks of a Bao Sanniang, a young girl who was both immensely beautiful, and immensely strong. With countless suitors, she declared that she'd only marry the one who could beat her in a duel and proceeded to beat up every last man who came for her hand. Eventually, Guan Suo - third son of the incomparable Guan [[RedBaron 'The God Of War']] Yu - heard of this, and went to challenge her. He beat her ([[DoggedNiceGuy in the fiftieth round]]), and she instantly fell in love with him. (By all accounts, he was quite the {{Bishonen}}, and known to wear flowers in his hair even upon the battlefield, so that probably helped too...) From then on, she followed him everywhere and even fought alongside him in his remaining campaigns.

* In the novel ''Mercenary'', part of Creator/PiersAnthony's ''Bio of a Space Tyrant'' series, in order to form an alliance with Space Pirates, Hope Hubris, the Navy Commander, must wed Rue, the daughter of the Pirate leader. However, being pirates, the "marriage ceremony" consists of the "groom" kidnapping and "having [his] way with" the prospective bride. While this is usually done in a "ceremonious" manner (since the marriage partners are the ones often wanting the union), the daughter in this case had already killed three earlier suitors. She took it literally. Luckily, Hope wins in the end.

* ''Literature/PercyJackson'': This seems to be how romance works at Camp Halfblood. "If a girl keeps trying to kill you, it means she's into you."

** Wildling women won't accept husbands who aren't tough enough to kidnap them. When Qhorin Halfhand and [[HeroicBastard Jon Snow]] capture a group of wildlings and Jon refuses to execute the woman Ygritte and saves her life, letting her go, Ygritte mistakenly assumes that this is his intention (though Jon had no idea of this custom) and is more than willing to sleep with him. However, she is [[ArentYouGoingToRavishMe very confused]] when Jon refuses Ygritte's sexual advances and ''won't'' sleep with her -- even after she's dropped what seem to her to be very unsubtle hints that she wants him. [[CatchPhrase He knows nothing,]] [[TheyDo at least until she teaches him.]] [[spoiler:[[StarCrossedLovers And they do fall in love]].]]\\
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How much effort a wildling woman will put into fighting off her would-be paramour tends to vary: if she is captured by someone she wants or doesn't mind being captured by, she might not fight back very hard (Tormund mentions his daughter let her suitor off with a few love bites and a cut to his earlobe). On the other hand, if her captor is cruel and brutalizes her, it is acceptable for the wildling woman to slit his throat.
** An InvokedTrope when Brienne of Tarth was set up for an ArrangedMarriage with a noble who made it clear he would 'chastise' her [[NoGuyWantsAnAmazon if she persisted]] in wearing chainmail and training in swordplay. Brienne stated that she would only allow herself to be chastised by a man who would defeat her in combat. Deciding to teach his future wife her place, he accepted the challenge and ended up with several broken ribs from a tourney mace. After that, Brienne's father gave up the idea of marrying his daughter off.

* A Creator/PGWodehouse golfing story was about a strikingly beautiful and adventurous world-travelling woman showing up at the golf club and attracting the attention of several men, including one very meek little fellow who only earns her scorn. After emasculating himself by singing "Only God Can Make A Tree" at a public event, he gives up on her and focuses on training for a tournament. Later, during the tournament, he manages to accidentally peg her with a stray ball (she was taking a walk on the course despite warnings); when she comes over to give him a piece of her mind, he fumbles a swing and throws his club at her; and when he tries to help her up, he somehow ends up punching her in the face. She promptly declares her undying love for him, having finally found a man capable of dominating her. A later scene (although it's set at the start of the chapter due to the broken chronology) shows them happily married with her being submissive and him keeping up the dominant act.

* In ''Series/GameOfThrones'', Jaime Lannister surmises that boys have tried to force themselves onto the larger Brienne of Tarth and suspects that she secretly wants to find a man who is able to overpower her. She declines to confirm this, saying only that no one ever could.

** Atalanta, who would only marry a man who could defeat her in a foot race. The losers were executed. (In more extreme versions, the idea was to ''outrun'' her in said race, as she'd stab them from behind with a dagger if they couldn't.) Eventually, Aphrodite got sick of Atalanta's attitude and gave the next competitor three golden apples with which to cheat. Every time Atalanta got ahead, he threw one out in front of her and broke for the lead while she was distracted, giving him the win. One bit of AlternativeCharacterInterpretation was that she actually liked the guy beforehand and didn't want him to die so that coupled with his apparent cleverness was enough to persuade her to throw the race intentionally.

* A set of ''TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons'' trading cards from the mid-90s included a variation, with a LawfulGood priestess who was foretold to leave the sisterhood in order to wed a great hero and vowed only to marry a man whose virtues exceeded her own.
* In ''TabletopGame/LegendsOfTheWulin'', according to Daoist beliefs, it's not healthy for a woman to be stronger than her mate; it can cause sickness if her Yin is stronger than his Yang. Therefore, smart men don't bed women they can't best. At the same time, it is healthy for the man's partner to have a strong Yin. As the book says, "the ideal lover is a woman who he can just barely beat in battle, or who can sometimes be beaten and sometimes not." Meanwhile, it is healthy a woman seeks out as strong a male as possible, at least her equal. She stands little risk of his yang overwhelming her yin (there must be at least a 3 rank difference, which is a massive power gap, between them in order for this to occur). This paints a picture where martial artists seek out their approximate equals when they look for love.

* ''Theatre/AnnieGetYourGun'', in which Annie throws a shooting contest to bed her LoveInterest because NoGuyWantsAnAmazon.

* A character by [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom furry]] artist, Linno, falls under this trope (at least at one point). His Kangaroo babe, named "K.O." is a professional boxer, who uses both her fists and her tail to box with. Of course, this would seemingly make her quite tough to beat in an actual match; so for anyone who does beat her in a one-on-one challenge gets a very special prize. Believe it or not, there was even an adult flash game made out of it (no, this isn't made up).

* In the ''WesternAnimation/{{Ben 10}}'' Universe [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Tetramands]] have their courtship working that way. Notably, Tetramands possess natural SuperStrength, and females are naturally stronger than males, so this is an uphill battle for males. ''WesternAnimation/Ben10Omniverse'' reveals that [[LovableRogue Kevin]] defeated Tetramand princess Looma when he was 13, though he was only interested in the engine her family would give him as a wedding gift. When the time to marry her came, he tricked Ben into defeating Looma in a duel, leading him to become her fiancée instead.

[[folder: Chinese Animation]]

* ''ComicBook/TheAvengers'': Proxima Midnight of the [[Characters/AvengersVillains Black Order]] is already [[UnholyMatrimony married]] to her teammate Corvus Glaive, but apparently invokes this trope to a degree whenever they sleep together. She likens their [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow bedchamber to a battlefield]], where either of them could 'lose' depending on the 'strategies' they use against each other. Corvus has also mentioned that every night he is usually [[SexIsViolence 'defeated by' Proxima]]. It's not entirely clear what 'winning' or 'losing' means in this context, but they both seem very happy with the arrangement.

** ''Anime/{{Macross 7}}'' deconstructs this by strongly hinting that Max and Milia grew apart because they couldn't mentally deal with normal married life, not for lack of love. Max and Milia are only good at fighting and sex (the pair had seven children together; the second almost killed Milia during childbirth). Living together in harmony outside of those two activities is a major challenge for them.

* ''Manga/MyMonsterSecret'': This is (sort of) the case with [[StudentTeacherRomance Sakurada and Akari]], as the former won't confess his feelings to the latter unless he can defeat her in [[SeriousBusiness a school-wide game of dodgeball.]] The first time it fails, as she wipes the floor with ''everyone''. [[spoiler: The next time it rolls around, things go a little better.]]

* Parodied in [[http://oglaf.com/savage-sleep/ this]] ''Webcomic/{{Oglaf}}'' strip, in which Tall Sonja not only won't sleep with anyone that hasn't beaten her, she won't sleep in a bed that hasn't beaten her... so she collapses from exhaustion.

[[FOLDER:Films -- Animation]]

* In ''Webcomic/WhatsNewWithPhilAndDixie'''s "Sex and D&D" strip, after stating that elves are [[SuperiorSpecies far too superior]] to even ''have'' sex, it then says that this only applies when around other elves, and their attitude amongst other races is ''very'' different. The female elf is shown in a mud-wrestling pit with a sign reading "Pin 'er to win 'er!"

* In ''Webcomic/WhatsNewWithPhilAndDixie'''s "Sex and D&D" strip, after stating that elves are [[OurElvesAreBetter far too superior]] to even ''have'' sex, it then says that this only applies when around other elves, and their attitude amongst other races is ''very'' different. The female elf is shown in a mud-wrestling pit with a sign reading "Pin 'er to win 'er!"