History Main / AllTakeAndNoGive

* ''Webcomic/ScarletLady'': Chloé's "friendship" with Sabrina works this way. She fully expects her BetaBitch to bend over backwards to accommodate her every demand. Tellingly, when Chloé actually ''does'' grasp that Sabrina is starting to [[GrewASpine learn how to stand up to her]], her idea of reconciliation is generously letting her ''borrow'' a beret.

* ''WebAnimation/EpithetErased'': Following Calliope Blyndeff's death, the family more or less collapsed into Molly pouring everything she could and then some into getting everything done, Lorelai blowing off her responsibilities and leaving Molly to handle them on top of everything else, and their father Martin leeching off Molly's efforts while clawing toy ideas from Lorelai's dream bubbles, caring about neither except insofar as they can make ''him'' happy. WordOfGod is that the only thing standing between Molly and violently snapping in a few years at how much weight she's expected to carry is the presence of [[AffablyEvil Giovanni "GREATEST VILLAIN IN THE WORLD" Potage]].

* The one-shot ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/42784638 Heartfelt Gifts]]'' depicts a world where people can literally infuse their feelings into gifts. In exchange, they can feel the love and appreciation others have for their gifts. However, Marinette discovers that no matter how many times she offers Adrien gifts filled with parts of her heart, she never receives anything in return. Not all of them make it safely into his hands, but even the ones that do go unnoticed and unappreciated.

* The one-shot ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/42784638 Heartfelt Gifts]]'' depicts a world where people can literally infuse their feelings into gifts. In exchange, they can feel the love and appreciation others have for their gifts. However, Marinette discovers that no matter how many times she offers Adrien gifts filled with parts of her heart, she never receives anything in return.

** Adrien also proves to be a Taker [[BitchInSheepsClothing In Sheep's Clothing]]. Ultimately, he [[ItsAllAboutMe only cares about himself]]; it's fine if Lila scams everyone else so long as ''he'' isn't hurt, and since he already knows she's a liar, [[OriginalPositionFallacy he presumes that he's perfectly safe]]. He feels [[EntitledBastard entitled to everything he wants]] -- including and ''especially'' [[EntitledToHaveYou Ladybug's love]], and sees nothing wrong with [[TheLoad letting her pull all the weight]] while he jokes around and flirts during akuma battles.

* This is why the titular character of ''Anime/{{Aggretsuko}}'' [[spoiler:broke up with Resasuke: he wasn't a bad person, but he couldn't really provide what Retsuko wanted, while her commitment to their relationship ended up being stressful.]]

* This was the root of [[ChildhoodFriends Seiko and Ruruka]]'s falling out in ''Anime/Danganronpa3TheEndOfHopesPeakHighSchool''. Ruruka frequently made use of Seiko's skill as a MadScientist for various medicines and performance enhancers over the years and felt [[InferioritySuperiorityComplex frustrated]] that [[DelicateAndSickly Seiko's illness]] made her unable to return the favor using [[SupremeChef her sweets]]. [[PoorCommunicationKills The mutual lack of communication]] as well as [[spoiler: Nagito inadvertently getting the two, as well as Ruruka's boyfriend Izayoi, expelled from Hope's Peak(which led the two to blame each other for the incident)]] led to them hating each other as adults.

* ''Fanfic/{{Dominoes}}'': After Ran became Angel, her relationship with Shinichi [[TheMasqueradeWillKillYourDatingLife rapidly degraded]], as she keeps him LockedOutOfTheLoop and expects him to serve as her LoveMartyr, catering to her every whim without a single thought to what ''he'' wants.

** While Keitaro is willing to forgive Naru for every slight, insult and violent assault, always offering her the benefit of the doubt, she never returns the favor, always assuming the worst and '[[UnprovokedPervertPayback punishing]]' him while refusing to acknowledge any of [[AbuseMistake her misjudgments]]. The story proper begins when Keitaro decides [[GrewASpine he's had enough]] and breaks things off with her.
** This is Naru's personality in general. She's a SpoiledBrat and an EntitledBastard, who believes that if people don't do what she wants them to do or let her do whatever she wants then they're clearly in the wrong. To her, a positive relationship is one where she's given all the attention and support she wants without ever considering the idea she might be wrong about anything. Other than that, she gives nothing to the other party whether it's Keitaro, Shinobu, Granny Hina, her parents, or her sister. [[spoiler:Granny ends up losing everything because of how much blind support she gave Naru and doesn't cut her off until she's managed to alienate everyone she ever cared about and forced to leave Japan forever.]]

[[index]]
* AllTakeAndNoGive/AnimeAndManga
* AllTakeAndNoGive/FanWorks
* AllTakeAndNoGive/VideoGames
* AllTakeAndNoGive/WesternAnimation
[[/index]]

[[folder:ComicBooks]]

[[folder: Music Videos]]
* Music/CatHairballs: Ren and Stimpy's whole dynamic through the song and video is this. Stimpy is hwarfing up hairballs for Ren that are being used to make him things like a suit, and food but that's still not good enough for Ren he demands more like a bike, an Italian sports car, high heel shoes, a hat and matching underwear, all be made from the product that's being farmed solely from Stimpy. The video makes this more evident by showing Stimpy becoming more and more exhausted from the effort of trying to keep up with Ren's demands, eventually ending with Stimpy [[spoiler: trying to give one last good hwarf, only to pass out on the conveyor belt]] which is immediately followed by Ren [[spoiler: brutally [[PainToTheAss smashing Stimpy's butt]] with a big rubber stamp so hard it leaves a butt brand.]]

* Music/{{Lit}}'s Music/{{Miserable}} has this as one of its main themes, both in the lyrics and in the video. The song mentions how the woman has used up all of (the man's) plans, then later she uses up his friends, but the man tells himself "who needs them" when "(she) means everything". In the video the GiantWoman lounges around while the band performs the song for her only for her to eventually [[spoiler: start eating them alive for seemingly no reason than her own amusement. The men's unwillingness in becoming her snacks is apparent in the way they try to escape her and beg for their lives, but she ignores this and eats them anyway. In the end they gave her everything, including their lives, to satisfy her appetites, but she doesn't care]].
[[/folder]]

* Elly Patterson of ''ComicStrip/ForBetterOrForWorse'' is an interesting example. She considers herself to be the victim of the first variant, ''slaving'' away for an unappreciative family who never offers any help or support whatsoever to their poor, put-upon mother. However, it's [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation just as easy]] to view her as a self-absorbed shrew with a martyr complex who wants to 'own the horses' by manipulating her children and raising them to remain [[MyBelovedSmother hopelessly reliant on her]] or an Elly-approved spouse.
** It doesn't help the writer's reboot makes the husband an over-the-top horrible man (who was based on her RealLife husband before that relationship went sour).

[[folder:Visual Novels]]

* Sekai and Setsuna of ''VisualNovel/SchoolDays'' have this type of relationship, with Setsuna as the Giver and Sekai as the Taker. It isn't bad-intentioned on Sekai's part and she truly does see Setsuna as her best friend, but she also completely fails to consider Setsuna's feelings regarding her actions (like [[spoiler:taking the guy she had a crush on]]). It's largely Setsuna's fault as well, though; her only concern in life seems to be Sekai's happiness, and she is willing to steamroll over anyone and anything she has to in order to achieve this. The best examples of this are the lengths she'll go to in order to keep Kotonoha away from Makoto even after learning that Sekai had lied to her about them previously breaking up, and when [[spoiler:she offers Makoto the chance to have sex with her if he promises to stay faithful to Sekai afterwards]].

[[folder:Webcomics]]

* ''Series/FellowTravelers'': Hawkins Fuller is the Taker and Timothy Laughlin is the Giver in their romance; the [[UnequalPairing power imbalance]] stems from their LoverAndBeloved dynamic. Tim desires to be in a committed relationship with Hawk despite the grave legal and social difficulties LGBT+ people face during the homophobic 1950s, but Hawk continually insists that their romance must remain casual. Hawk plans to marry Lucy to be his [[TheBeard beard]], and the mere idea of this is extremely upsetting to Tim. During a Christmastime tryst, Tim gives Hawk a brand new tie as a Christmas gift, yet Hawk hadn't thought of getting anything for his boyfriend even though he did purchase a stunning silver bracelet set with emeralds for Lucy. (Although Tim is thrilled by the expensive -- but pre-owned -- monogrammed cufflinks etched with Hawk's initials that the latter hands to him after rummaging through his closet, it doesn't change the fact that Hawk didn't consider buying a Christmas present for Tim.) Hawk doesn't offer emotional support to Tim when the latter needs it, even though Hawk expects Tim to comfort him when he's in distress. Tim often expresses his love for Hawk, but the latter never says "I love you" in return.

* ''Series/FellowTravelers'': Hawkins Fuller is the Taker and Timothy Laughlin is the Giver in their romance; the [[UnequalPairing power imbalance]] stems from their LoverAndBeloved dynamic. Tim desires to be in a committed relationship with Hawk despite the grave legal and social difficulties LGBT+ people face during the homophobic 1950s, but Hawk continually insists that their romance must remain casual. Hawk plans to marry a woman to be his [[TheBeard beard]], and the mere idea of this is extremely upsetting to Tim. Hawk doesn't offer emotional support to Tim when the latter needs it, even though Hawk expects Tim to comfort him when he's in distress. Tim often expresses his love for Hawk, but the latter never says "I love you" in return.

In ''Literature/{{It}}'', Eddie and his mother (in the past) and Eddie and his wife (in the book's present) both come off as the second variety, with the woman as the domineering Giver and Eddie as the Taker who is being controlled.

* ''Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' has [[SpoiledBrat Veruca Salt]] and her father in this relationship.

* {{Lifetime Movie|OfTheWeek}}s often portray marriage that way with a selfish, abusive and ungrateful husband and a loving, faithful, ever-suffering wife who just endures the selfishness and {{Jerkass}}ery of her spouse.
* In ''Film/DonJon'', both leads are guilty of this in varying degrees. Jon gets better about it; Barbara doesn't.
* In ''Film/FantasticBeastsAndWhereToFindThem'', Queenie Goldstein discovers Newt Scamander's relationship with Leta Lestrange by reading his mind, and how it didn't work out.
-->'''Queenie''': She was a taker. You need a giver.
* In ''Film/{{Looper}}'', Old Joe accuses [[IHatePastMe his younger self]] of being this to his ([[TimeTravelTenseTrouble their?]]) future wife, saying that he’ll just soak her love up like a sponge and not understand how much he owes her until [[spoiler:she’s gone]].

* ''Literature/TheSecretHistory'' provides a perfect example of the first variant, with Charles as the Taker and Francis as the Giver.
* This is basically ''Literature/TheGivingTree'' in a nutshell, plus some {{Glurge}}. The titular tree gives a boy she loves her apples, branches, and even her trunk even as the boy grows up and abandons it. In the end, the tree is happy even though it's now a stump because the boy, now an old man, finally came back to it to ask to sit on it.
** ''The Taking Tree'', a parody of the above book, inverts the tree-boy relationship dynamic: the boy is a selfish jerk who takes everything he can from the hapless tree until the tree finally gets fed up and calls the cops on him. After the boy grows up, he comes back to cut down the tree in revenge [[KarmicDeath only for the tree to fall on him and crush him to death]].
* In Creator/StephenKing's ''Literature/TheStand'', his own mother calls Larry Underwood a "taker", which comes back to haunt him many times.
** To put it in the words of his friend Wayne Stukey, there's "something in [Larry] that's like biting on tinfoil."
** Nadine Cross, in contrast, is a Giver who, in her own words, needs to be needed. She has a breakdown when the nearly feral boy "Joe" she has been protecting suddenly regains his old identity "Leo Rockway" after meeting Mother Abigail. After Larry rejects Nadine in favor of his current love interest Lucy, Nadine does a FaceHeelTurn and goes to the one person she thinks still needs her: Randall Flagg. She realizes far too late that this is a ''huge'' mistake.
* And another Creator/StephenKing example: In ''Literature/{{It}}'', Eddie and his mother (in the past) and Eddie and his wife (in the book's present) both come off as the second variety, with the woman as the domineering Giver and Eddie as the Taker who is being controlled.

* In one lesser-known story by German author Creator/{{Janosch}} about a donkey falling in love with an owl. (With the donkey being the giver, and the owl being the taker.) Does he want to suggest that men in love should act like that?!
* In ''Literature/SongOfSolomon'', both Hagar and Ruth would do anything for Milkman, needing him to keep on living. Milkman never cared for them apart from what they could give him. Also, Macon Jr. provided the family's income, keeping the family in luxury and completely dependent on him.

** In ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix'' a grieving Cho forces her friend Marietta to accompany her to the Hog's Head and later to D.A. meetings where she is obviously uncomfortable and is hinted to not completely believe Harry since she is concerned by things her Ministry working mother says and ultimately does not take a resistance movement organized to prepare them to fight ''Voldemort'' as seriously as her discomfort with breaking the rules.

* In Alma Katsu's ''The Taker'', Lanny is the Giver and Jonathan is the Taker. A sort of mix between the two types: Lanny will do anything for Jonathan, no matter the cost or risk to herself - including [[ToxicFriendInfluence a few things he would not have wanted her to do for him, had she bothered to ask him.]]

* Creator/JaneAusten:
** Lydia Bennet of ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudice'' demands attention all the time, appropriates her sister Kitty's clothing at will, and never thinks that she should do anything for anyone else. Really, the scene where she tells Jane and Elizabeth "We're treating you to lunch, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint but you have to lend us the money because we've already spent ours]]" says it all.
** Tom Bertram in ''Literature/MansfieldPark'' uses up so much of his dad's money that his dad is forced to give the church living he'd intended for his younger son to a different man so as to clear the debt. Tom is extremely annoyed at all the fuss being made over it. (He smartens up after a particularly wild night sends him into a nearly fatal illness for weeks, and all of his hundred or more "particular friends" ditch him.)
** Mr. Elliot of ''Literature/{{Persuasion}}'' is quite a sinister version. He married his first wife for money, and though she loved him, he was callous and cold to her after the wedding and she died a very unhappy woman. He was as close as family to his good friends the Smiths -- encouraging them to spend far past their means to keep him in style, and then abandoning them when they went broke. He doesn't so much as twitch a finger to help Mrs. Smith get an inheritance she's legally entitled to, not because he's claiming it but because he can't be ''bothered''.
* A major point in ''Literature/TheRobotsOfDawn''. Gladia has been raised on Solaria, a SexIsEvil planet. She never had an orgasm, because there was no Giver and no Taker. Later, she emigrated to Aurora, a FreeLoveFuture planet, but the problem persisted because, with the free attitude, there was once again neither Giver nor Taker. Then, she was given a {{Ridiculously Human Robot|s}} and did manage to have an orgasm, but she was only a Taker because a robot cannot Take. And then, she had sex with Baley when he was near-unconscious with exhaustion, to experience the role of a Giver. Considering she then married an Auroran and lived with him for over a century, it can be assumed all this gave her the proper perspective.
* The poem ''Bitten by the Snake'' implies this sort of relationship, where the titular snake is the taker and the mouse was the giver, the latter realizing this fully upon being bitten. She's implied to turn out better for it.
* ''Literature/MostlyDeadThings'': Brynn treated Milo and Jessa this way and both [[DestructiveRomance suffered as a result]].
* ''Literature/RabbitAtRest'': Harry, or at least he's accused of this by Thelma's husband Ronnie. Harry and Thelma had an affair for years, and Ronnie says that what really bothers him was not that Harry was bonking his wife, but that Thelma loved Harry and he didn't really care about her outside of the sex. A defiant Harry says that Thelma was "a fantastic lay."

* ''ComicBook/{{Daredevil}}'': [[Characters/MarvelComicsMattMurdock Daredevil]] descended into this at the end of his relationship with Heather Glenn. Still stricken by the death of his ex-lover Characters/{{Elektra}}, he deliberately let the company Heather had inherited be destroyed to make sure that she would have nothing in her life but him, and thus couldn't leave him.

* [[ComicBook/DisneyDucksComicUniverse Donald Duck]] is [[DependingOnTheWriter often]] the Giver in his relationships with both his girlfriend Daisy and his uncle/employer Scrooge. This is the inciting incident in the Creator/DonRosa story "The Magnificent Seven (Minus Four) Caballeros", where Huey, Dewey, and Louie notice how this setup is negatively affecting their Uncle Donald, so they reconnect him with his old friends Panchito Pistoles and José Carioca, who actually appreciate and acknowledge his heroic actions, which helps him get through a recent funk.
* Characters/{{Harley Quinn|TheCharacter}} is like this to her beloved, [[Characters/BatmanTheJoker The Joker]]. She helps him with all his plans, breaks him out of Arkham over and over again, and always comes back to him. DependingOnTheWriter, The Joker may give her nothing more in return than tolerance, or a bullet to the heart.
* Characters/{{Daredevil|MattMurdock}} descended into this at the end of his relationship with Heather Glenn. Still stricken by the death of his ex-lover [[Characters/DaredevilSupportingCharacters Elektra]], he deliberately let the company Heather had inherited be destroyed to make sure that she would have nothing in her life but him, and thus couldn't leave him.
* Lightning Lord's obsessive nature with his siblings in ''ComicBook/LegionOfSuperHeroes'' comes across as this. He believes as the oldest it's his right to demand Lightning Lass become his "twin," and he's willing to get rid of Lightning Lad to make it happen. Even if such behavior wasn't completely demented, throughout their lives the older Ranzz sibling never did anything to warrant the twins wanting ''anything'' to do with him.

The other variant is a bit more disturbing. Rather than the Taker being in charge, it's the Giver who is in control. It's not that they're [[ChronicHeroSyndrome pathologically compelled]] to [[GoodSamaritan generosity]], but a deep desire to {{control|Freak}} and even ''own'' the Taker... so they work to make them completely psychologically and physically dependent, and may, in fact, cripple their ability to do some (or all) things. This is the hallmark of MyBelovedSmother, who may impair or delay their child's growth to keep them [[MommasBoy dependent]]. If romantic, the Giver may be a StalkerWithACrush or a {{Yandere}} who has managed to start a relationship with their target and then proceeded to demolish their self-esteem in the guise of "helping" them. Expect them to say "I did it all for you", and justify alienating the Taker from past friends because "TheyWereHoldingYouBack." If the Taker should realize this and work up the resolve to break the cycle, the Giver [[AxCrazy will not be pleased]].

* ''Series/TheBoys2019'': Butcher's relationship with the rest of the team is this to a tee. While deep down he respects them (sort of), he leads the team with an iron fist and prioritizes his goals and wants over those of the others and expects them to be okay with it even to the point that he left the others to the mercy of Vought to go after Homelander in season one and immediately tried to sell [[spoiler:Kimiko's brother]] out in season two. This comes to a head in season 3 when this exact behavior [[BrokenPedestal ruins his relationship with both Frenchie and Marvin]].
-->'''Kimiko''' (though text): "I'm not your fucking gun".
-->'''Butcher''': "That is exactly what you are. In case any of you have forgotten how this works, when I tell you to do something, you fucking do it".

** Jesse Pinkman, Walt's longtime partner in crime, is the most blatant example, though a bit Zig Zagged admittedly. While Walt does share their profits with Jesse and fights back at any suggestion at killing Jesse [[spoiler: until season 5]], it clear that he doesn't see Jesse as a true equal as he'll frequently [[LockedOutOfTheLoop not tell Jesse what's going on]], [[TheUnapologetic insult him]], [[NoSympathy dismiss his problems]], lie to his face, and gaslight him while expecting Jesse to do everything he says.
** Played completely straight with Saul Goodman, Walt's lawyer. Yes, Walt is paying Saul a percentage, but that is mostly so Saul has an incentive other than not getting caught. In truth, their relationship is almost completely one-sided for the majority of the series, with Saul being forced to cater to every last one of Walt's demands (even going out of his way to protect Walt in some cases) while risking his own life in the process. In return, Walt never shows any concern for Saul's safety and, with the exception of "Crawl Space, never thanks Saul for any of his risk, even going so far as to threaten Saul when the latter wants to break ties with Walt.

* ''Series/TheOfficeUS'' has an unusual example with Andy and Angela's relationship. At first, Andy is an insensitive DoggedNiceGuy to her, continuing to pursue her long after she's made it obvious that she isn't interested. And then she agrees to go out with him. The relationship continues very much in this vein: Andy going out of his way to woo Angela and lavishing her with affection while she coldly portions out tiny morsels of affection in between terse scoldings. It's not even clear to onlookers why Angela agreed to date him at all as she really doesn't seem to like him, but depressingly, Andy seems entirely (or at the least [[SelectiveObliviousness selectively]]) oblivious to her complete lack of fond feelings for him and too much of an ExtremeDoormat to ever question her rulings.
* Ann and Andy's relationship in the first season of ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' is this, with Ann being the giver and Andy the taker. Not helping was that Ann was a bit of an ExtremeDoormat with a bad case of FlorenceNightingaleEffect and WeaknessTurnsHerOn while Andy was a LazyBum ManChild whose laziness was implied to have been inadvertently enabled by Ann's coddling. It comes to a head when Andy breaks his legs after stumbling into an abandoned pit near their home, driving Ann to make a complaint to the city government, kicking off the main plot, and Ann discovers at the end of the season that Andy deliberately delayed getting his leg casts removed for two whole weeks just because he liked having her wait on him hand and foot. This drives her to finally break up with him. They both go on to find better and more equal relationships with other people.

* On ''Series/VeronicaMars'', the title character often slips into this, particularly with respect to her friend Wallace. Veronica falls into this, as the "Taker", with Wallace being the "Giver." It gets to the point where [[WhatTheHellHero she gets rightfully called out on it.]]

** Despite being best friends, Lana and Chloe's relationship is very one-sided. For eight years, Chloe has always been the giver and the best Lana did is to blame her when something goes wrong and/or break her heart with her relationship with Clark.

* This was one of the options in the Prize Fight, the final round of the game show ''Take It All.'' If one player chose Take It All to the opponent's Keep Mine, he/she wins his/her prizes ''and '' the opponent's. If both choose Take It All, neither wins anything. If both choose Keep Mine, they each win their respective prizes.
* Inverted variant: On ''Series/TheTonightShowStarringJohnnyCarson,'' Johnny is reading list of things Burbank is noted for. Among them: "On average every hour, Burbank Airport has seventy-five departures and no arrivals."

[[folder:WebAnimation]]

->'''Sindri''': I gave you everything. My skills, my friendship, my home, my secrets, my treasures… and you just kept taking. And now what have I got? ''Not even my family…'' You want sorry? This is what sorry looks like..
->'''Atreus''': I... what can we do?
->'''Sindri''': We? There is no 'we'. There's only you. No matter what the cost.
-->-- ''Videogame/GodOfWarRagnarok''

->''"You're like a sponge! You take, take, take, and drain others of their love and emotion!"''
-->-- '''Columbia''', ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow''

* The Barone family are a seemingly dysfunctional example of this dynamic in ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond''. [[JewishMother Matriarch]] Marie Barone controls her adult family by seemingly eternal giving - of food, comforts, domestic help - which serves to keep her husband and sons as dependent man-children who are forever bound to her in a web of obligation. She also uses her giving streak to minimize and diminish her two daughters-in-law. But neither her husband nor her sons can resist taking.

* Music/{{Lit}}'s Music/{{Miserable}} has this as one of its main themes, both in the lyrics and in the video. The song mentions how the woman has used up all of (the man's) plans, then later she uses up his friends, but the man tells himself "who needs them" when "(she) means everything". In the video the GiantWoman lounges around while the band performs the song for her only for her to eventually [[spoiler: start eating them alive for seemingly no reason than her own amusement. The men's unwillingness in becoming her snacks is apparent in the way they try to escape her and beg for their lives, but she ignores this and eat them anyway. In the end they gave her everything, including their lives, to satisfy her appetites, but she doesn't care]].

* ''Webcomic/{{Selkie}}'': Jessie's relationship with her girlfriend Alexis casts her as the giver, and Alexis as the freeloading, irresponsible taker. This is most obvious financially, where Jessie is the only one who is actually employed, while Alexis is the one with the expensive shoe habit, but it's also true emotionally, where Jessie is supportive and considerate while Alexis is willing to [[https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie255/ pull a prank that might cost Jessie her job]] in order to amuse herself. That prank, and Alexis' lack of remorse, ends up being [[https://selkiecomic.com/comic/selkie266/ what ends the relationship.