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** I will not limit myself to ONLY subjects relating to my powers. I will expand my knowledge to include several subjects that have nothing to do with my powers, or even counteract them. Every single one of them is a potential superpower of a villain I'll have to fight someday.
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* My costume will be insulated against electricity, so that I can't be taken out of a fight by some jackass with a taser.
** If I'm [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond inheriting the mantle of a superhero known for utilizing an array of advanced weapons and gadgets,]] I will ask up-front of the ultra-advanced super suit that comes with the mantle is rated to withstand being struck by lightning multiple times. If it isn't, I'll ask that it be made so before I end up being struck by lightning multiple times while wearing it.
** If I'm [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond inheriting the mantle of a superhero known for utilizing an array of advanced weapons and gadgets,]] I will ask up-front of the ultra-advanced super suit that comes with the mantle is rated to withstand being struck by lightning multiple times. If it isn't, I'll ask that it be made so before I end up being struck by lightning multiple times while wearing it.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. [[NighInvulnerability Not only did the other guy survive with minimal harm done]], but [[SuperStrength he'll be lifting that weight off of himself and/or throwing it at me]] at any second. I will use the time that the writers are trying to be dramatic to plot my next move.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. [[NighInvulnerability Not only did the The other guy survive with minimal harm done]], but guy's fine.]] Give him a few seconds, and he'll be [[SuperStrength he'll be lifting that weight off of himself and/or throwing it at me]] at any second. himself]] and resuming the fight, no worse for wear. I will use the that time that the writers are trying to be dramatic to plot my next move.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move before he lifts it off himself and resumes the fight, no worse for wear. I will invest those seconds accordingly ([[NoKillLikeOverKill finding a even larger, heavier object to drop on them]] is but one such use of that time).
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds [[NighInvulnerability Not only did the other guy survive with minimal harm done]], but [[SuperStrength he'll be lifting that weight off of himself and/or throwing it at me]] at any second. I will use the time that the writers are trying to catch my breath and prepare be dramatic to plot my next move before he lifts it off himself and resumes the fight, no worse for wear. I will invest those seconds accordingly ([[NoKillLikeOverKill finding a even larger, heavier object to drop on them]] is but one such use of that time).move.
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* I will stick to heroics and try not to dabble in play-by-play commentary. If the GiantEnemyCrab is squeezing me in its mighty pincers or Dr. Nefarious Q. Evilguy has me helplessly trapped in an AgonyBeam, I can trust that my readers have the basic intelligence required to infer that this is happening to me based on what they can plainly see, and therefore I don't need to loudly announce it to them. If for whatever reason there is any confusion as to what's going on, those little colored text boxes near the margin can usually clear it up just fine.
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* [[NarratingTheObvious I will stick to heroics and try not to dabble in play-by-play commentary. commentary.]] If the GiantEnemyCrab is squeezing me in its mighty pincers or Dr. Nefarious Q. Evilguy has me helplessly trapped in an AgonyBeam, I can trust that my readers have the basic intelligence required to infer that this is happening to me based on what they can plainly see, and therefore I don't need to loudly announce it to them. If for whatever reason there is any confusion as to what's going on, those little colored text boxes near the margin can usually clear it up just fine.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move before he lifts it off himself and resumes the fight, no worse for wear. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move before he lifts it off himself and resumes the fight, no worse for wear. I will invest those seconds accordingly.accordingly ([[NoKillLikeOverKill finding a even larger, heavier object to drop on them]] is but one such use of that time).
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* If I have [[DoesNotLikeGuns an aversion to using or even handling guns]], I will see a therapist to help me get over this irrational fear, and if my power set obviates the need for such weaponry, I'll bear in mind that the good citizens I've sworn to protect don't have access to the same incredible abilities I wield, and that no matter how fast I can go, I can't be everywhere at once. Guns are ''good''; every superhero should be comfortable working with an armed citizenry that can take care of the low-level criminals, because it makes it easier for us to go after the major threats. Also, if I discover any of my own archenemies are ''not'' ImmuneToBullets, I'll immediately alert the police, National Guard, and the good citizens alike to this vulnerability.
** However, I will remember that it's very difficult ''not'' to kill someone with a gun, and so I will remember that if I personally am wielding a gun, I should be ready to take a life.
** However, I will remember that it's very difficult ''not'' to kill someone with a gun, and so I will remember that if I personally am wielding a gun, I should be ready to take a life.
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* If I have [[DoesNotLikeGuns an aversion to using or even handling guns]], I will see a therapist to help me get over this irrational fear, and if my power set obviates the need for such weaponry, I'll bear in mind that the good citizens I've sworn to protect don't have access to the same incredible abilities I wield, and that no matter how fast I can go, I can't be everywhere at once. Guns are ''good''; every superhero should be comfortable working with an armed citizenry that can take care of the low-level criminals, because it makes it easier for us to go after the major threats. Also, if I discover any of my own archenemies are ''not'' ImmuneToBullets, I'll immediately alert the police, National Guard, and the good citizens alike to this particular vulnerability.
** However, if Iwill remember really do intend to stick to ThouShaltNotKill, I must take into account that it's very difficult ''not'' to kill someone with a gun, and so I will remember I'll have to keep in mind that if I personally am wielding a gun, I should be ready to take a life. life; even BlastingItOutOfTheirHands can still go horribly wrong.
** However, if I
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** However, I will remember that it's very difficult ''not'' to kill someone with a gun, and so I will remember that if I personally am wielding a gun, I should be ready to take a life.
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* If my enemy is kind enough to indulge in a VillainMonologue, I will [[KilledMidSentence just take them out]] [[CombatPragmatist then and there]]. It's their fault for being stupid enough to do so.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans.
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* If my enemy is kind enough to indulge in a VillainMonologue, start monologuing, I will [[KilledMidSentence just take them out]] [[CombatPragmatist then and there]]. It's their fault for being stupid enough to do so.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans. ''Then'' I will take them out.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans. ''Then'' I will take them out.
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* Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will have my costume's bust padded out to D-cups. Fake breasts can be made to absorb punches and deflect bullets, and {{Breast Attack}}s are a concern to super-women, even for as often as they happen. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will have my costume's bust padded out to D-cups. Fake It's only a matter of time before an opponent decides to [[BreastAttack take a cheap shot at my boobs during a fight]], and fake breasts can be made to absorb punches and deflect bullets, and {{Breast Attack}}s are a concern to super-women, even for as often as they happen. bullets.
* Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
* Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will have my costume's bust outfitted with a pair of fake D-cups designed to absorb shock and deflect bullets, in the event that my opponent tries to [[BreastAttack punch or shoot me in the boobs.]] Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will have my costume's bust outfitted with a pair of fake D-cups designed padded out to D-cups. Fake breasts can be made to absorb shock punches and deflect bullets, in the event that my opponent tries and {{Breast Attack}}s are a concern to [[BreastAttack punch or shoot me in the boobs.]] super-women, even for as often as they happen. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will still pad the bust of my costume out to D-cups using fake boobs made to resist incoming {{Breast Attack}}s from the CombatPragmatist. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given the MostCommonSuperpower, I will still pad the have my costume's bust outfitted with a pair of my costume out to fake D-cups using fake boobs made designed to resist incoming {{Breast Attack}}s from absorb shock and deflect bullets, in the CombatPragmatist. event that my opponent tries to [[BreastAttack punch or shoot me in the boobs.]] Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my civilian SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If my opponent's just had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move before he lifts it off himself and reveals himself to still be in fighting shape. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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* If my opponent's just been crushed or had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move before he lifts it off himself and reveals himself to still be in fighting shape.resumes the fight, no worse for wear. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given TheMostCommonSuperpower, I will still pad the bust of my costume out to D-cups using fake boobs made to resist incoming {{Breast Attack}}s from the CombatPragmatist. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given TheMostCommonSuperpower, the MostCommonSuperpower, I will still pad the bust of my costume out to D-cups using fake boobs made to resist incoming {{Breast Attack}}s from the CombatPragmatist. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If I'm a superheroine that hasn't been given TheMostCommonSuperpower, I will still pad the bust of my costume out to D-cups using fake boobs made to resist incoming {{Breast Attack}}s from the CombatPragmatist. Having the larger rack when I'm in costume will also further distance my superhero identity from my SecretIdentity, if I'm the kind of superhero that cares about that sort of thing.
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* If my opponent's just had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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* If my opponent's just had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will not assume I've just won the fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to catch my breath and prepare my next move.move before he lifts it off himself and reveals himself to still be in fighting shape. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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That is more a political opinion than a superhero tip.
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* I will ''not'' subscribe to ThouShaltNotKill. Though I will generally adhere to the local laws concerning when homicide is and is not justified, any locale that has abolished the death penalty [[TooDumbToLive doesn't deserve to have me save it]] and will have to fend for itself.
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* I will ''not'' subscribe to ThouShaltNotKill. Though I will generally adhere to the local laws concerning when homicide is and is not justified, any locale that has abolished the death penalty [[TooDumbToLive doesn't deserve to have me save it]] and will have to fend for itself.justified.
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* Likewise if I have FlyingBrick powers. A lot of the people I try to crush with something big and heavy will have the NighInvulnerability to withstand the impact and the SuperStrength to lift it themselves and hurl it right back at me.
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* Likewise if I have FlyingBrick powers. A lot of the people I try to crush with something big and If my opponent's just had a large, heavy object dropped on his head, I will have not assume I've just won the NighInvulnerability fight. All I've done is buy myself a few seconds to withstand the impact catch my breath and the SuperStrength to lift it themselves and hurl it right back at me.prepare my next move. I will invest those seconds accordingly.
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* Likewise if I have FlyingBrick powers. A lot of the people I try to crush with something big and heavy will have the NighInvulnerability to withstand the impact and the SuperStrength to lift it themselves and hurl it right back at me.
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* If my power involves [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever growing myself to giant size]], I will not attempt to use it against anybody whose powers let them [[RequiredSecondaryPowers subvert or ignore the laws of physics as they apply to large, heavy objects.]]
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* If my power involves I'm a {{Sizeshifter}} capable of [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever growing myself to giant size]], I will not attempt to use it against anybody to attack somebody whose powers let them [[RequiredSecondaryPowers subvert defy, manipulate, or ignore the laws of physics as they apply to large, heavy objects.]]
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** Or follow [[Recap/JusticeLeagueS1E18And19InjusticeForAll Batman's example]] and manipulate the villain's cohorts into disrupting the villain's plans until one of them gives me the break I need to call in the rest of the SuperTeam. But only if I actually have the SuperIntelligence and cunning for that sort of thing.
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* If I do fail and my supervillain is about too kill me, I will not worry, as I will be resurrected within the space of 2 years or less.
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* If I do fail and my supervillain is about too to kill me, I will not worry, might as I will be resurrected within the space of 2 years or less.well accept it and FaceDeathWithDignity. [[DeathIsCheap It's only going to stick for a few years.]]
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* If my power involves [[AttackOfThe50FootWhatever growing myself to giant size]], I will not attempt to use it against anybody whose powers let them [[RequiredSecondaryPowers subvert or ignore the laws of physics as they apply to large, heavy objects.]]
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** Alternatively, if I ''do'' subscribe to it, I'll totally make sure that really evil guys are put to death by death sentense ASAP or locked in HIGHLY effective prisons, not in some Arkham Asylum crap.
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*If I do fail and my supervillain is about too kill me, I will not worry, as I will be resurrected within the space of 2 years or less.
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See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers.
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See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers.JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers or ThingsIWillDoIfIAmEverTheHero.
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* I will befriend an AntiHero. No matter how repulsive his reputation is to others, he won't have any reservations about dealing with the worst of the worst. And since he's almost certainly going to be put on trial for his actions, I will make sure to testify on his behalf in my civilian identity.
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** However, I will be careful in doing so-if word of this antidote or vulnerability gets back to them, they may take steps to nullify my advantage, thus rendering my information useless at best.
** I will also keep this AppliedPhlebotinum in a very safe, secret place. I will ''not'' leave it lying around in my workshop or my SuperheroTrophyShelf.
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* If my arch-nemesis succeeds in kidnapping and brainwashing my sidekick, I will make sure after rescuing him to set off a small electromagnetic pulse near him to clear out any lingering mind-control technology before sending him to therapy to be deprogrammed. I don't want [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker what happened to Tim Drake]] to happen in my world.
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* If my arch-nemesis succeeds in kidnapping and brainwashing my sidekick, I will make sure after rescuing him them to set off a small electromagnetic pulse near him to clear out any lingering mind-control technology before sending him to therapy to be deprogrammed. I don't want [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker what happened to Tim Drake]] to happen in my world.
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* If my enemy is kind enough to indulge in a VillainMonologue, I will [[KilledMidSentence just take them out]] [[CombatPragmatist then and there]]. It's their fault for being stupid enough to do so.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans.
* I will always carry a few basic supplies around with me. While a Batman-esque utility belt is a bit of a giveaway, there's no reason I can't carry a hairpin, Band-Aids, a Swiss Army Knife, and maybe a few other items with me at all times, [[CrazyPrepared so that I'm not caught completely unprepared when crises happen]].
* I will learn ''at least'' basic self-defence skills, or preferably learn to become a competent hand-to-hand fighter. This will complement my powers, and if they are ever stolen, at least I won't be helpless.
* No matter how awesome my powers are, there will almost certainly be intelligent supervillains looking to defeat me. Therefore, I will practice different applications of my powers and ensure that I have multiple ways to use it. If necessary, I will take a course on a subject relating to my powers.
** However, if I am imprisoned while they are doing this, I will pay close attention so as to discover the full extent of their plans.
* I will always carry a few basic supplies around with me. While a Batman-esque utility belt is a bit of a giveaway, there's no reason I can't carry a hairpin, Band-Aids, a Swiss Army Knife, and maybe a few other items with me at all times, [[CrazyPrepared so that I'm not caught completely unprepared when crises happen]].
* I will learn ''at least'' basic self-defence skills, or preferably learn to become a competent hand-to-hand fighter. This will complement my powers, and if they are ever stolen, at least I won't be helpless.
* No matter how awesome my powers are, there will almost certainly be intelligent supervillains looking to defeat me. Therefore, I will practice different applications of my powers and ensure that I have multiple ways to use it. If necessary, I will take a course on a subject relating to my powers.
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* Between jobs, there is no harm in invoking MundaneUtility. I need to keep my powers and skills relatively sharp; what better way than test runs on ordinary (private) everyday applications?
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Removing entries removed from The Universal Genre Savvy Guide that do not actually apply to superheroes.
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* If I am a character in a comic book, I will not become a scientist--particularly not to do with chemistry or biology. They all either become superheroes (Spiderman, Mr. Fantastic, The Flash etc.), become supervillains (Doc Ock, The Lizard, Doctor Doom etc.) or get killed by the new supervillain as he trashes his lab (thereby showing the audience that he is dangerous).
** To clarify--Spiderman wasn't a scientist, but his superpowers were induced from a bite by an experimental radioactive spider. By this principle I will not even ''associate'' with scientists, and I will definitely not go to their expos.
* If I am an ordinary non-super-powered civilian in a superhero comic book or movie, and inadvertently happen to discover any superhero's secret identity, I will keep this discovery entirely to myself, and maybe even try to find some way to wipe it from my memory. Even assuming the superhero is not [[SociopathicHero an anti-heroic sociopath]] and has a [[ThouShaltNotKill personal moral code against killing]] me for [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]], the [[JerkassGods writers]] do not, and any attempts I make to exploit this discovery for fame and/or profit will surely end in death or [[FateWorseThanDeath worse]].
* Speaking of superheroes, if I have no superpowers of my own, I shall in no event knowingly live in any building next to a known superhero ''or'' supervillain base. Both are preferred targets for every extraterrestrial invasion, interdimensional EldritchAbomination attack, and gratuitous [[HeroInsurance super-powered property-wrecking slugging match]] in the cosmos. In the event that I discover a nearby building is secretly such a base, I shall immediately put my own living space on the market before everyone else inevitably finds out the same thing. Those ConvenientlyEmptyBuildings around superheroes' and supervillains' bases are conveniently empty for a good reason.
* Superpowers derived from cosmic rays, SufficientlyAdvancedAlien technology, or unknown interdimensional phenomena are ''not'' meaningfully different from superpowers derived from genetic mutations, and any of my fellow citizens who thinks so is a poorly-written one-dimensional bigot created by a hack writer seeking an easy metaphor for racial, sexual, and other forms of discrimination. I shall avoid all such poorly-written characters and their FantasticRacism hate groups like the plague, as their lack of characterization makes them mindlessly and irredeemably evil, and means their schemes may well harm an InnocentBystander such as myself for ''[[KickTheDog no good reason at all]]''.
* In the event that I am a CEO or other high-status corporate executive, I shall not be a CorruptCorporateExecutive in any world that has people with superpowers. In the event that my company's factories produce pollution, superheroes with a strong affinity for the environment will ''not'' be persecuted for attempting to expose our pollution to media scrutiny, but will instead [[AdoptTheDog be hired to clean up our mess]] at any high wage or salary that is less than what government fines and conventional cleaning methods would cost.
* If I am a petty criminal, ideally I will stick to robbing houses while the occupants are out at dinner. If I can manage this, I will avoid taking ''anything'' that [[PowerGlows glows]]. If I absolutely must mug people, I will stick to [[MilesGloriosus huge overconfident guys]] and leave [[HeroicBuild triangular men]], [[MostCommonSuperpower well-endowed women]], and [[WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld skinny teenagers in hoodies]] alone.
* If I'm working as security at any building (whether my boss is a legitimate businessman or a crime lord) and the local costumed crime fighter with a reputation for being [[ImmuneToBullets bulletproof]] or just [[DodgeTheBullet really good at dodging gunfire]] comes barging in for whatever reason, I will not bother pulling my gun on the [[TheCape Cape]] or [[TheCowl Cowl]] in question; as everyone in my world ought to know by now ([[ShootingSuperman but doesn't]]), [[GunsAreWorthless that never helps]]. If guns don't help, using melee weapons is also out of the question, as they will be no more effective. I and any personnel working for me will also not attempt to do battle with any super''villain'' known to be likewise invincible. In fact, if any kind of super is attacking, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm our policy will be to evacuate immediately]] and call for super-powered backup if any is available.
* I will seek out a career as a paramedic or firefighter. While it will keep me incredibly busy with all the superheroes and supervillains running around blowing each other up, as a [[TheRealHeroes Real Hero]], I will be virtually immortal. I will not, however, become a police officer. Unless their last name is [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Gordon]], police officers in superhero media can only achieve Real Hero status [[RedShirt posthumously]] after proving the bad guy to be ImmuneToBullets.
* I will only join the military if I greatly dislike my family. This isn't a war drama, so as long as I put in twenty minutes of CharacterDevelopment per day I'll be perfectly safe. There's a strong chance of my gaining superpowers, though, in which case I'll be [[ComicBookDeath the world's most invincible class of being]], but they'll be doomed [[DeathByOriginStory one way]] or [[StuffedIntoTheFridge another]].
** To clarify--Spiderman wasn't a scientist, but his superpowers were induced from a bite by an experimental radioactive spider. By this principle I will not even ''associate'' with scientists, and I will definitely not go to their expos.
* If I am an ordinary non-super-powered civilian in a superhero comic book or movie, and inadvertently happen to discover any superhero's secret identity, I will keep this discovery entirely to myself, and maybe even try to find some way to wipe it from my memory. Even assuming the superhero is not [[SociopathicHero an anti-heroic sociopath]] and has a [[ThouShaltNotKill personal moral code against killing]] me for [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]], the [[JerkassGods writers]] do not, and any attempts I make to exploit this discovery for fame and/or profit will surely end in death or [[FateWorseThanDeath worse]].
* Speaking of superheroes, if I have no superpowers of my own, I shall in no event knowingly live in any building next to a known superhero ''or'' supervillain base. Both are preferred targets for every extraterrestrial invasion, interdimensional EldritchAbomination attack, and gratuitous [[HeroInsurance super-powered property-wrecking slugging match]] in the cosmos. In the event that I discover a nearby building is secretly such a base, I shall immediately put my own living space on the market before everyone else inevitably finds out the same thing. Those ConvenientlyEmptyBuildings around superheroes' and supervillains' bases are conveniently empty for a good reason.
* Superpowers derived from cosmic rays, SufficientlyAdvancedAlien technology, or unknown interdimensional phenomena are ''not'' meaningfully different from superpowers derived from genetic mutations, and any of my fellow citizens who thinks so is a poorly-written one-dimensional bigot created by a hack writer seeking an easy metaphor for racial, sexual, and other forms of discrimination. I shall avoid all such poorly-written characters and their FantasticRacism hate groups like the plague, as their lack of characterization makes them mindlessly and irredeemably evil, and means their schemes may well harm an InnocentBystander such as myself for ''[[KickTheDog no good reason at all]]''.
* In the event that I am a CEO or other high-status corporate executive, I shall not be a CorruptCorporateExecutive in any world that has people with superpowers. In the event that my company's factories produce pollution, superheroes with a strong affinity for the environment will ''not'' be persecuted for attempting to expose our pollution to media scrutiny, but will instead [[AdoptTheDog be hired to clean up our mess]] at any high wage or salary that is less than what government fines and conventional cleaning methods would cost.
* If I am a petty criminal, ideally I will stick to robbing houses while the occupants are out at dinner. If I can manage this, I will avoid taking ''anything'' that [[PowerGlows glows]]. If I absolutely must mug people, I will stick to [[MilesGloriosus huge overconfident guys]] and leave [[HeroicBuild triangular men]], [[MostCommonSuperpower well-endowed women]], and [[WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld skinny teenagers in hoodies]] alone.
* If I'm working as security at any building (whether my boss is a legitimate businessman or a crime lord) and the local costumed crime fighter with a reputation for being [[ImmuneToBullets bulletproof]] or just [[DodgeTheBullet really good at dodging gunfire]] comes barging in for whatever reason, I will not bother pulling my gun on the [[TheCape Cape]] or [[TheCowl Cowl]] in question; as everyone in my world ought to know by now ([[ShootingSuperman but doesn't]]), [[GunsAreWorthless that never helps]]. If guns don't help, using melee weapons is also out of the question, as they will be no more effective. I and any personnel working for me will also not attempt to do battle with any super''villain'' known to be likewise invincible. In fact, if any kind of super is attacking, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm our policy will be to evacuate immediately]] and call for super-powered backup if any is available.
* I will seek out a career as a paramedic or firefighter. While it will keep me incredibly busy with all the superheroes and supervillains running around blowing each other up, as a [[TheRealHeroes Real Hero]], I will be virtually immortal. I will not, however, become a police officer. Unless their last name is [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Gordon]], police officers in superhero media can only achieve Real Hero status [[RedShirt posthumously]] after proving the bad guy to be ImmuneToBullets.
* I will only join the military if I greatly dislike my family. This isn't a war drama, so as long as I put in twenty minutes of CharacterDevelopment per day I'll be perfectly safe. There's a strong chance of my gaining superpowers, though, in which case I'll be [[ComicBookDeath the world's most invincible class of being]], but they'll be doomed [[DeathByOriginStory one way]] or [[StuffedIntoTheFridge another]].
to:
** To clarify--Spiderman wasn't a scientist, but his superpowers were induced from a bite by an experimental radioactive spider. By this principle I will not even ''associate'' with scientists, and I will definitely not go to their expos.
* If I am an ordinary non-super-powered civilian in a superhero comic book or movie, and inadvertently happen to discover any superhero's secret identity, I will keep this discovery entirely to myself, and maybe even try to find some way to wipe it from my memory. Even assuming the superhero is not [[SociopathicHero an anti-heroic sociopath]] and has a [[ThouShaltNotKill personal moral code against killing]] me for [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]], the [[JerkassGods writers]] do not, and any attempts I make to exploit this discovery for fame and/or profit will surely end in death or [[FateWorseThanDeath worse]].
* Speaking of superheroes, if I have no superpowers of my own, I shall in no event knowingly live in any building next to a known superhero ''or'' supervillain base. Both are preferred targets for every extraterrestrial invasion, interdimensional EldritchAbomination attack, and gratuitous [[HeroInsurance super-powered property-wrecking slugging match]] in the cosmos. In the event that I discover a nearby building is secretly such a base, I shall immediately put my own living space on the market before everyone else inevitably finds out the same thing. Those ConvenientlyEmptyBuildings around superheroes' and supervillains' bases are conveniently empty for a good reason.
* Superpowers derived from cosmic rays, SufficientlyAdvancedAlien technology, or unknown interdimensional phenomena are ''not'' meaningfully different from superpowers derived from genetic mutations, and any of my fellow citizens who thinks so is a poorly-written one-dimensional bigot created by a hack writer seeking an easy metaphor for racial, sexual, and other forms of discrimination. I shall avoid all such poorly-written characters and their FantasticRacism hate groups like the plague, as their lack of characterization makes them mindlessly and irredeemably evil, and means their schemes may well harm an InnocentBystander such as myself for ''[[KickTheDog no good reason at all]]''.
* In the event that I am a CEO or other high-status corporate executive, I shall not be a CorruptCorporateExecutive in any world that has people with superpowers. In the event that my company's factories produce pollution, superheroes with a strong affinity for the environment will ''not'' be persecuted for attempting to expose our pollution to media scrutiny, but will instead [[AdoptTheDog be hired to clean up our mess]] at any high wage or salary that is less than what government fines and conventional cleaning methods would cost.
* If I am a petty criminal, ideally I will stick to robbing houses while the occupants are out at dinner. If I can manage this, I will avoid taking ''anything'' that [[PowerGlows glows]]. If I absolutely must mug people, I will stick to [[MilesGloriosus huge overconfident guys]] and leave [[HeroicBuild triangular men]], [[MostCommonSuperpower well-endowed women]], and [[WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld skinny teenagers in hoodies]] alone.
* If I'm working as security at any building (whether my boss is a legitimate businessman or a crime lord) and the local costumed crime fighter with a reputation for being [[ImmuneToBullets bulletproof]] or just [[DodgeTheBullet really good at dodging gunfire]] comes barging in for whatever reason, I will not bother pulling my gun on the [[TheCape Cape]] or [[TheCowl Cowl]] in question; as everyone in my world ought to know by now ([[ShootingSuperman but doesn't]]), [[GunsAreWorthless that never helps]]. If guns don't help, using melee weapons is also out of the question, as they will be no more effective. I and any personnel working for me will also not attempt to do battle with any super''villain'' known to be likewise invincible. In fact, if any kind of super is attacking, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm our policy will be to evacuate immediately]] and call for super-powered backup if any is available.
* I will seek out a career as a paramedic or firefighter. While it will keep me incredibly busy with all the superheroes and supervillains running around blowing each other up, as a [[TheRealHeroes Real Hero]], I will be virtually immortal. I will not, however, become a police officer. Unless their last name is [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Gordon]], police officers in superhero media can only achieve Real Hero status [[RedShirt posthumously]] after proving the bad guy to be ImmuneToBullets.
* I will only join the military if I greatly dislike my family. This isn't a war drama, so as long as I put in twenty minutes of CharacterDevelopment per day I'll be perfectly safe. There's a strong chance of my gaining superpowers, though, in which case I'll be [[ComicBookDeath the world's most invincible class of being]], but they'll be doomed [[DeathByOriginStory one way]] or [[StuffedIntoTheFridge another]].
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See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers.
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* See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers.
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Changed line(s) 1,2 (click to see context) from:
JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers or perhaps you want to know ''Literature/HowToBeASuperhero''?
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* See also JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers.
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moved from The Universal Genre Savvy Guide
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JustForFun/SoYouAreATeenagerWithSuperpowers or perhaps you want to know ''Literature/HowToBeASuperhero''?
----
* If I am a member of an advanced alien race[=/=]interstellar guardian unit and we have just defeated a great threat to the universe, I will suggest that we ''don't'' bind it into stasis and lock it within the depths of the Earth. It never, ''ever'' stays that way. I will suggest that we just jettison it at the nearest black hole instead. Before doing so, however, I will also make sure to check for any known ways the threat may escape from ''there''; if the black hole is just a NegativeSpaceWedgie some inter-dimensional device can reopen, tossing the threat in there just makes it SealedEvilInACan that ''will'' be unsealed at some point. Black holes and other such seemingly indestructible holding places are only worth considering if we can't simply find some way to annihilate the threat altogether. If we're forced to resort to the black hole, we'll also have a beacon in orbit around it to monitor it and transmit a general warning to passersby to keep their distance.
* I will stick to heroics and try not to dabble in play-by-play commentary. If the GiantEnemyCrab is squeezing me in its mighty pincers or Dr. Nefarious Q. Evilguy has me helplessly trapped in an AgonyBeam, I can trust that my readers have the basic intelligence required to infer that this is happening to me based on what they can plainly see, and therefore I don't need to loudly announce it to them. If for whatever reason there is any confusion as to what's going on, those little colored text boxes near the margin can usually clear it up just fine.
* I will ''not'' explain how my powers work to everyone everywhere I go. Such explanations will be dealt out on a strictly need-to-know basis (such as to doctors trying to heal me in the event that I get injured). Villains ''never'' need to know these things, and I need every advantage over them I can get, including the [[IAmNotLeftHanded element of surprise]]. If the readers need to know these things, they can find out about them in various bonus materials at the end of the comic or in official guides.
** Conversely, ''all'' of the people I'm protecting need to know as much about my enemies' powers and capabilities as I can tell them. As such, I will not keep any counter-measures against my enemies to myself. If I develop an antidote to any specialized toxin one of my RoguesGallery uses on victims, if I discover a [[AttackItsWeakPoint particular vulnerability in an otherwise invincible villain]], or if I work out any means of nullifying my enemy's powers, I will immediately share this information with law enforcement agencies and other superheroes.
* I will seriously consider doing ''all'' my superheroic work on the sly. Sure, wearing a garish costume might be good for my publicity, but being a celebrity makes me a target for every StalkerWithACrush and other kind of troublemaker. Who needs all that misery when I can just go around neutralizing bad people in my civilian clothes? Depending on what powers I have, the villains might ''never'' be able to find out that I'm the reason why their plans keep experiencing unexpected failures.
* Unless I'm a RichIdiotWithNoDayJob, any AppliedPhlebotinum the villains and their {{Mooks}} drop in a fight is forfeit to me, as are their wallets and any expensive and/or useful weapons I can take from them when they're either unconscious or dead. ComicBook/DamageControl and ComicBook/ThePunisher aren't the only ones who know how to use this stuff, and even squeaky-clean guys like ComicBook/SpiderMan have bills to pay. Also, even if I ''am'' rich, there's no reason to let the bad guys have their specialized gear and any technological sources for their superpowers back.
** Also, even if any of this AppliedPhlebotinum ''seems'' to have no moral use, I will not discard it without studying it thoroughly to determine whether it could be put to beneficial uses. If nothing else, having e.g. a villain's specialized toxin makes developing counter-measures to it (such as an antidote) easier.
* I will ''not'' subscribe to ThouShaltNotKill. Though I will generally adhere to the local laws concerning when homicide is and is not justified, any locale that has abolished the death penalty [[TooDumbToLive doesn't deserve to have me save it]] and will have to fend for itself.
* If I have [[DoesNotLikeGuns an aversion to using or even handling guns]], I will see a therapist to help me get over this irrational fear, and if my power set obviates the need for such weaponry, I'll bear in mind that the good citizens I've sworn to protect don't have access to the same incredible abilities I wield, and that no matter how fast I can go, I can't be everywhere at once. Guns are ''good''; every superhero should be comfortable working with an armed citizenry that can take care of the low-level criminals, because it makes it easier for us to go after the major threats. Also, if I discover any of my own archenemies are ''not'' ImmuneToBullets, I'll immediately alert the police, National Guard, and the good citizens alike to this vulnerability.
* If any villain has JokerImmunity, no amount of deadly force against said villain can be considered overkill; neither can [[MoreDakka spraying the corpse with bullets]], [[KillItWithFire burning it to a crisp]], and [[DeaderThanDead scattering the ashes into the stratosphere]] to ensure that they can't be reassembled for some hokey BlackMagic resurrection ceremony.
* As a corollary to all three of the above, should I ever come across [[ComicBook/ThePunisher Frank Castle]] or anyone like him preparing to execute my sworn nemesis or any other such extreme threat to myself and others, I'll save the namby-pamby do-gooder lecture about how superheroes shouldn't kill for ''after'' he's blown my enemy's head off. A dangerous villain is permanently neutralized, and I get to keep my hands clean; Win-win, baby!
* If my arch-nemesis succeeds in kidnapping and brainwashing my sidekick, I will make sure after rescuing him to set off a small electromagnetic pulse near him to clear out any lingering mind-control technology before sending him to therapy to be deprogrammed. I don't want [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker what happened to Tim Drake]] to happen in my world.
* If I am a character in a comic book, I will not become a scientist--particularly not to do with chemistry or biology. They all either become superheroes (Spiderman, Mr. Fantastic, The Flash etc.), become supervillains (Doc Ock, The Lizard, Doctor Doom etc.) or get killed by the new supervillain as he trashes his lab (thereby showing the audience that he is dangerous).
** To clarify--Spiderman wasn't a scientist, but his superpowers were induced from a bite by an experimental radioactive spider. By this principle I will not even ''associate'' with scientists, and I will definitely not go to their expos.
* If I am an ordinary non-super-powered civilian in a superhero comic book or movie, and inadvertently happen to discover any superhero's secret identity, I will keep this discovery entirely to myself, and maybe even try to find some way to wipe it from my memory. Even assuming the superhero is not [[SociopathicHero an anti-heroic sociopath]] and has a [[ThouShaltNotKill personal moral code against killing]] me for [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]], the [[JerkassGods writers]] do not, and any attempts I make to exploit this discovery for fame and/or profit will surely end in death or [[FateWorseThanDeath worse]].
* Speaking of superheroes, if I have no superpowers of my own, I shall in no event knowingly live in any building next to a known superhero ''or'' supervillain base. Both are preferred targets for every extraterrestrial invasion, interdimensional EldritchAbomination attack, and gratuitous [[HeroInsurance super-powered property-wrecking slugging match]] in the cosmos. In the event that I discover a nearby building is secretly such a base, I shall immediately put my own living space on the market before everyone else inevitably finds out the same thing. Those ConvenientlyEmptyBuildings around superheroes' and supervillains' bases are conveniently empty for a good reason.
* Superpowers derived from cosmic rays, SufficientlyAdvancedAlien technology, or unknown interdimensional phenomena are ''not'' meaningfully different from superpowers derived from genetic mutations, and any of my fellow citizens who thinks so is a poorly-written one-dimensional bigot created by a hack writer seeking an easy metaphor for racial, sexual, and other forms of discrimination. I shall avoid all such poorly-written characters and their FantasticRacism hate groups like the plague, as their lack of characterization makes them mindlessly and irredeemably evil, and means their schemes may well harm an InnocentBystander such as myself for ''[[KickTheDog no good reason at all]]''.
* In the event that I am a CEO or other high-status corporate executive, I shall not be a CorruptCorporateExecutive in any world that has people with superpowers. In the event that my company's factories produce pollution, superheroes with a strong affinity for the environment will ''not'' be persecuted for attempting to expose our pollution to media scrutiny, but will instead [[AdoptTheDog be hired to clean up our mess]] at any high wage or salary that is less than what government fines and conventional cleaning methods would cost.
* If I am a petty criminal, ideally I will stick to robbing houses while the occupants are out at dinner. If I can manage this, I will avoid taking ''anything'' that [[PowerGlows glows]]. If I absolutely must mug people, I will stick to [[MilesGloriosus huge overconfident guys]] and leave [[HeroicBuild triangular men]], [[MostCommonSuperpower well-endowed women]], and [[WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld skinny teenagers in hoodies]] alone.
* If I'm working as security at any building (whether my boss is a legitimate businessman or a crime lord) and the local costumed crime fighter with a reputation for being [[ImmuneToBullets bulletproof]] or just [[DodgeTheBullet really good at dodging gunfire]] comes barging in for whatever reason, I will not bother pulling my gun on the [[TheCape Cape]] or [[TheCowl Cowl]] in question; as everyone in my world ought to know by now ([[ShootingSuperman but doesn't]]), [[GunsAreWorthless that never helps]]. If guns don't help, using melee weapons is also out of the question, as they will be no more effective. I and any personnel working for me will also not attempt to do battle with any super''villain'' known to be likewise invincible. In fact, if any kind of super is attacking, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm our policy will be to evacuate immediately]] and call for super-powered backup if any is available.
* I will seek out a career as a paramedic or firefighter. While it will keep me incredibly busy with all the superheroes and supervillains running around blowing each other up, as a [[TheRealHeroes Real Hero]], I will be virtually immortal. I will not, however, become a police officer. Unless their last name is [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Gordon]], police officers in superhero media can only achieve Real Hero status [[RedShirt posthumously]] after proving the bad guy to be ImmuneToBullets.
* I will only join the military if I greatly dislike my family. This isn't a war drama, so as long as I put in twenty minutes of CharacterDevelopment per day I'll be perfectly safe. There's a strong chance of my gaining superpowers, though, in which case I'll be [[ComicBookDeath the world's most invincible class of being]], but they'll be doomed [[DeathByOriginStory one way]] or [[StuffedIntoTheFridge another]].
----
----
* If I am a member of an advanced alien race[=/=]interstellar guardian unit and we have just defeated a great threat to the universe, I will suggest that we ''don't'' bind it into stasis and lock it within the depths of the Earth. It never, ''ever'' stays that way. I will suggest that we just jettison it at the nearest black hole instead. Before doing so, however, I will also make sure to check for any known ways the threat may escape from ''there''; if the black hole is just a NegativeSpaceWedgie some inter-dimensional device can reopen, tossing the threat in there just makes it SealedEvilInACan that ''will'' be unsealed at some point. Black holes and other such seemingly indestructible holding places are only worth considering if we can't simply find some way to annihilate the threat altogether. If we're forced to resort to the black hole, we'll also have a beacon in orbit around it to monitor it and transmit a general warning to passersby to keep their distance.
* I will stick to heroics and try not to dabble in play-by-play commentary. If the GiantEnemyCrab is squeezing me in its mighty pincers or Dr. Nefarious Q. Evilguy has me helplessly trapped in an AgonyBeam, I can trust that my readers have the basic intelligence required to infer that this is happening to me based on what they can plainly see, and therefore I don't need to loudly announce it to them. If for whatever reason there is any confusion as to what's going on, those little colored text boxes near the margin can usually clear it up just fine.
* I will ''not'' explain how my powers work to everyone everywhere I go. Such explanations will be dealt out on a strictly need-to-know basis (such as to doctors trying to heal me in the event that I get injured). Villains ''never'' need to know these things, and I need every advantage over them I can get, including the [[IAmNotLeftHanded element of surprise]]. If the readers need to know these things, they can find out about them in various bonus materials at the end of the comic or in official guides.
** Conversely, ''all'' of the people I'm protecting need to know as much about my enemies' powers and capabilities as I can tell them. As such, I will not keep any counter-measures against my enemies to myself. If I develop an antidote to any specialized toxin one of my RoguesGallery uses on victims, if I discover a [[AttackItsWeakPoint particular vulnerability in an otherwise invincible villain]], or if I work out any means of nullifying my enemy's powers, I will immediately share this information with law enforcement agencies and other superheroes.
* I will seriously consider doing ''all'' my superheroic work on the sly. Sure, wearing a garish costume might be good for my publicity, but being a celebrity makes me a target for every StalkerWithACrush and other kind of troublemaker. Who needs all that misery when I can just go around neutralizing bad people in my civilian clothes? Depending on what powers I have, the villains might ''never'' be able to find out that I'm the reason why their plans keep experiencing unexpected failures.
* Unless I'm a RichIdiotWithNoDayJob, any AppliedPhlebotinum the villains and their {{Mooks}} drop in a fight is forfeit to me, as are their wallets and any expensive and/or useful weapons I can take from them when they're either unconscious or dead. ComicBook/DamageControl and ComicBook/ThePunisher aren't the only ones who know how to use this stuff, and even squeaky-clean guys like ComicBook/SpiderMan have bills to pay. Also, even if I ''am'' rich, there's no reason to let the bad guys have their specialized gear and any technological sources for their superpowers back.
** Also, even if any of this AppliedPhlebotinum ''seems'' to have no moral use, I will not discard it without studying it thoroughly to determine whether it could be put to beneficial uses. If nothing else, having e.g. a villain's specialized toxin makes developing counter-measures to it (such as an antidote) easier.
* I will ''not'' subscribe to ThouShaltNotKill. Though I will generally adhere to the local laws concerning when homicide is and is not justified, any locale that has abolished the death penalty [[TooDumbToLive doesn't deserve to have me save it]] and will have to fend for itself.
* If I have [[DoesNotLikeGuns an aversion to using or even handling guns]], I will see a therapist to help me get over this irrational fear, and if my power set obviates the need for such weaponry, I'll bear in mind that the good citizens I've sworn to protect don't have access to the same incredible abilities I wield, and that no matter how fast I can go, I can't be everywhere at once. Guns are ''good''; every superhero should be comfortable working with an armed citizenry that can take care of the low-level criminals, because it makes it easier for us to go after the major threats. Also, if I discover any of my own archenemies are ''not'' ImmuneToBullets, I'll immediately alert the police, National Guard, and the good citizens alike to this vulnerability.
* If any villain has JokerImmunity, no amount of deadly force against said villain can be considered overkill; neither can [[MoreDakka spraying the corpse with bullets]], [[KillItWithFire burning it to a crisp]], and [[DeaderThanDead scattering the ashes into the stratosphere]] to ensure that they can't be reassembled for some hokey BlackMagic resurrection ceremony.
* As a corollary to all three of the above, should I ever come across [[ComicBook/ThePunisher Frank Castle]] or anyone like him preparing to execute my sworn nemesis or any other such extreme threat to myself and others, I'll save the namby-pamby do-gooder lecture about how superheroes shouldn't kill for ''after'' he's blown my enemy's head off. A dangerous villain is permanently neutralized, and I get to keep my hands clean; Win-win, baby!
* If my arch-nemesis succeeds in kidnapping and brainwashing my sidekick, I will make sure after rescuing him to set off a small electromagnetic pulse near him to clear out any lingering mind-control technology before sending him to therapy to be deprogrammed. I don't want [[WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyondReturnOfTheJoker what happened to Tim Drake]] to happen in my world.
* If I am a character in a comic book, I will not become a scientist--particularly not to do with chemistry or biology. They all either become superheroes (Spiderman, Mr. Fantastic, The Flash etc.), become supervillains (Doc Ock, The Lizard, Doctor Doom etc.) or get killed by the new supervillain as he trashes his lab (thereby showing the audience that he is dangerous).
** To clarify--Spiderman wasn't a scientist, but his superpowers were induced from a bite by an experimental radioactive spider. By this principle I will not even ''associate'' with scientists, and I will definitely not go to their expos.
* If I am an ordinary non-super-powered civilian in a superhero comic book or movie, and inadvertently happen to discover any superhero's secret identity, I will keep this discovery entirely to myself, and maybe even try to find some way to wipe it from my memory. Even assuming the superhero is not [[SociopathicHero an anti-heroic sociopath]] and has a [[ThouShaltNotKill personal moral code against killing]] me for [[HeKnowsTooMuch knowing too much]], the [[JerkassGods writers]] do not, and any attempts I make to exploit this discovery for fame and/or profit will surely end in death or [[FateWorseThanDeath worse]].
* Speaking of superheroes, if I have no superpowers of my own, I shall in no event knowingly live in any building next to a known superhero ''or'' supervillain base. Both are preferred targets for every extraterrestrial invasion, interdimensional EldritchAbomination attack, and gratuitous [[HeroInsurance super-powered property-wrecking slugging match]] in the cosmos. In the event that I discover a nearby building is secretly such a base, I shall immediately put my own living space on the market before everyone else inevitably finds out the same thing. Those ConvenientlyEmptyBuildings around superheroes' and supervillains' bases are conveniently empty for a good reason.
* Superpowers derived from cosmic rays, SufficientlyAdvancedAlien technology, or unknown interdimensional phenomena are ''not'' meaningfully different from superpowers derived from genetic mutations, and any of my fellow citizens who thinks so is a poorly-written one-dimensional bigot created by a hack writer seeking an easy metaphor for racial, sexual, and other forms of discrimination. I shall avoid all such poorly-written characters and their FantasticRacism hate groups like the plague, as their lack of characterization makes them mindlessly and irredeemably evil, and means their schemes may well harm an InnocentBystander such as myself for ''[[KickTheDog no good reason at all]]''.
* In the event that I am a CEO or other high-status corporate executive, I shall not be a CorruptCorporateExecutive in any world that has people with superpowers. In the event that my company's factories produce pollution, superheroes with a strong affinity for the environment will ''not'' be persecuted for attempting to expose our pollution to media scrutiny, but will instead [[AdoptTheDog be hired to clean up our mess]] at any high wage or salary that is less than what government fines and conventional cleaning methods would cost.
* If I am a petty criminal, ideally I will stick to robbing houses while the occupants are out at dinner. If I can manage this, I will avoid taking ''anything'' that [[PowerGlows glows]]. If I absolutely must mug people, I will stick to [[MilesGloriosus huge overconfident guys]] and leave [[HeroicBuild triangular men]], [[MostCommonSuperpower well-endowed women]], and [[WakeUpGoToSchoolSaveTheWorld skinny teenagers in hoodies]] alone.
* If I'm working as security at any building (whether my boss is a legitimate businessman or a crime lord) and the local costumed crime fighter with a reputation for being [[ImmuneToBullets bulletproof]] or just [[DodgeTheBullet really good at dodging gunfire]] comes barging in for whatever reason, I will not bother pulling my gun on the [[TheCape Cape]] or [[TheCowl Cowl]] in question; as everyone in my world ought to know by now ([[ShootingSuperman but doesn't]]), [[GunsAreWorthless that never helps]]. If guns don't help, using melee weapons is also out of the question, as they will be no more effective. I and any personnel working for me will also not attempt to do battle with any super''villain'' known to be likewise invincible. In fact, if any kind of super is attacking, [[KnowWhenToFoldEm our policy will be to evacuate immediately]] and call for super-powered backup if any is available.
* I will seek out a career as a paramedic or firefighter. While it will keep me incredibly busy with all the superheroes and supervillains running around blowing each other up, as a [[TheRealHeroes Real Hero]], I will be virtually immortal. I will not, however, become a police officer. Unless their last name is [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Gordon]], police officers in superhero media can only achieve Real Hero status [[RedShirt posthumously]] after proving the bad guy to be ImmuneToBullets.
* I will only join the military if I greatly dislike my family. This isn't a war drama, so as long as I put in twenty minutes of CharacterDevelopment per day I'll be perfectly safe. There's a strong chance of my gaining superpowers, though, in which case I'll be [[ComicBookDeath the world's most invincible class of being]], but they'll be doomed [[DeathByOriginStory one way]] or [[StuffedIntoTheFridge another]].
----
