History Funny / VorkosiganSaga

'''Roic:''' It's all right. I have a [[JamesBond license to stun.]]

--> '''Aral''': "Now...''that'' cries out for an explanation."

--->'''Lord Dono''': ''Thank'' you, Lord Vorkosigan, for a most memorable evening.
--->'''Aral''': Who was that? Looks familiar somehow . . .

--->'''Cordelia''': Pym! I seconded you to look after Miles. Would you care to explain this scene?
--->'''Pym''' (after a thoughtful pause): No, Milady.

--->'''Aral''': Miles, are you drunk?
--->'''Miles''': Not yet, sir. Not nearly enough yet.

--->'''Simon:''' Do you know all those old folk tales where the count tries to get rid of his only daughter's unsuitable suitor by giving him three impossible tasks?
--->'''Ekaterin:''' Yes.
--->'''Simon:''' Don't ever try that with Miles. Just . . . don't.

--->'''Miles:''' We want to be out of the chamber before he reaches the second page.
--->(From inside the chamber a few moments later): ''DOWRIES!'' A hundred and eighteen ''dowries''!

--->'''Miles''': You don't need to bellow.
--->'''Ivan:''' I am not bellowing. I'm being firm.
--->'''Miles''': Could you please be firm at a lower volume?
--->'''Ivan''': No. Simon Illyan is ''sleeping with my mother'', and it's your fault!

--->A face wavered into view. A familiar face.
--->"Gregor! Am I glad to see you," Miles burbled inanely. He felt his burning eyes widen. His hands shot out to clench Gregor's shirt, a pale blue prisoner's smock. ''"What the hell are you doing here?"''
--->"It's a long story."

---> '''Bannerji''': What are you doing with ''that'', Dr. Yei?
---> '''Dr. Yei''': Applying psychology. [Whacks Van Atta on the back of his head with a wrench.]
---> '''Bannerji''': Dr. Yei, if you're trying to knock a man out you've got to hit him a lot harder than that.
---> '''Dr. Yei''': I didn't want to risk killing him....
---> '''Bannerji''': Why not?

--->'''Ivan''' (indicating the elaborate gold chain and seal around Miles' neck): My God. Is that ''real''?
--->'''Miles''': You want to try to peel off the foil wrapping and eat the chocolate inside?

--->'''Guard''': Aren't you the same fellow we threw out of here this morning?
--->'''Miles''': Not exactly, no. Note, please, that I am not trying to enter your premises. I have no intention of throwing you into the dilemma of trying to choose whether to disobey a direct order, or else commit an act of treason. But I do know it takes approximately four minutes to physically get from the Chief's office to the front gate. At that point, ''your'' troubles will be over.
--->''(Four minutes, twenty-nine seconds elapse.)''
--->'''Miles''': Good afternoon, General.
--->'''Haroche''': Vorkosigan. I told you not to come back here.
--->'''Miles''': Try again.
--->'''Haroche''' (staring at the Auditor's chain and seal): That can't be real.
--->'''Miles''': The penalty for counterfeiting an Imperial Auditor's credentials is death.
--->'''Haroche''' (voice cracking): My Lord Auditor.

--->'''Haroche''' (somewhat plaintively): Vorkosigan, tell me—''is'' that really a Cetagandan Order of Merit?
--->'''Miles''': Yeah.
--->'''Haroche''': And the rest of it?
--->'''Miles''': I didn't clean out my father's desk drawer, if that's what you're asking. Everything here is accounted for, in my classified files. You may be one of the few men on the planet who doesn't have to take my word for it.

--->'''Simon''': Do you suppose all the fish in your lake have been stolen?
--->'''Miles''': They'd have to catch 'em first.

-->'''Ekaterin''' (faintly): Oh, drat.
-->'''Miles''' (mildly, after a meditative pause): Madame Vorsoisson, has it ever occurred to you that you may be just a touch oversocialized?

-->'''Miles:''' My case budget allows for a lot of discretion, you know.
-->'''[[BeleagueredBureaucrat Vorlynkin:]]''' Then I really wish you'd ''buy'' some!

-->'''Leiber:''' You're pretty free with that thing.
-->'''Roic:''' It's all right. I have a [[JamesBond license to stun.]]
-->'''Leiber:''' I thought that was supposed to be a license to kill.
-->'''Roic:'''That, too. But you would not believe all the forms that have to be filled out, afterward

--> '''Falco:''' Do either of you accuse the other of adultery?”
--> '''Ivan:''' There’s hardly been time, sir!”

*
--> '''Admiral Desplains:''' May I ask why, if Lady Alys Vorpatril wishes to know what is going on in her only son’s life, she applies to me and not to you?
--> '''Ivan Vorpatril:''' Experience?

-->“Damn,” said Elena in a hushed voice. “If I didn’t know you, I’d think you were Mad Yuri’s understudy. The look on your face . . . am I reading too much into all that innuendo, or did you in fact just connive to assassinate Gregor in one breath, offer to cuckold him in the next, accuse your father of homosexuality, suggest a patricidal plot against him, and league yourself with Cavilo—what are you going to do for an encore?”

* In "Captain Vorpatril's Alliance, pretty much every part of [[spoiler: Ivan and Tej's divorce proceeding. Particularly Tej's open praise of Ivan's bedroom abilities in a Barrayaran court.]]

* What the '''Shopping Trip''' from ''[[VorkosiganSaga Barrayar]]'' is to Awesome, the '''[[GambitPileup Dinner Party]]''' from ''A Civil Campaign'' is to Funny.

--> '''Ivan:''' There’s hardly been time, sir!”

* ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'' has a whopper of one at the climax. [[spoiler: Beginning with, "Guy...has ImpSec HQ always been sort of...tilted up on one side?"]]

* ''Captain Vorpatril's Alliance'' has a whopper of one at the climax. [[spoiler: Beginning with, "Guy...has ImpSec HQ always been sort of...tilted up on one side?"]]

* "Unhand Lady Vorpatril!"

* In one of the books, Ivan gripes about the trouble Miles causes for "innocent bystanders." Miles asks if he considers himself part of that class. Ivan sighs, "God knows I try to be."

--->'''Simon:''' Don't ever try that with Miles. Just . . . don't.

* Miles's attempt to a yes-man for [[TheEmperor Emperor]] Gregor in ''Memory'', which consists of him answering everything with "Yes, Sire" until Gregor (who is, fortunately, also Miles's foster brother) tells him to stop.

* Miles suffering from an outbreak of ''[[RichardIII Richard The Third]]'' on [[MotorMouth fast forward]] after being [[MushroomSamba doped to the eyeballs]] with [[TruthSerum fast-penta]]. And in general Miles's ... ''[[MushroomSamba interesting]]'' reactions to fast-penta.

--->'''Ivan''': No. Simon Illyan is ''sleeping with my mother'', and it's your fault!

* Aso in Cryroburn after Roic saves the day [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Awesome/VorkosiganSaga stunning a hostage taker at point blank.]]

* In one of the books, Ivan gripes about the trouble Miles causes for "innocent bystanders." Miles asks if he considers himself part of that class. Ivan sighs, "God knows I try to be."

-->'''Leiber:''' I thought that was supposed to be a [[LicenseToKill license to kill.]]

* Also from ''Komarr'': When Tien's creditors call Ekaterina, Miles [[spoiler:blithely jumps into the call and forwards them to [=ImpSec=]]] to get rid of them.

* What the '''Shopping Trip''' from ''[[VorkosiganSaga Barrayar]]'' is to Awesome, the '''[[ThirtyGambitPileup Dinner Party]]''' from ''A Civil Campaign'' is to Funny.

----> "Who did he ''call''?"

** And then, later on, Miles and Illyan take a boat out fishing. When they are unsuccessful, they decide to use [[strike:a stunner]] [[NoKillLikeOverkill an improvised bomb]].

* What the '''Shopping Trip''' from ''[[VorkosiganSaga Barrayar]]'' is to Awesome, the '''[[ThirtyXanatosPileup Dinner Party]]''' from ''A Civil Campaign'' is to Funny.

-->'''Miles''' (mildly after a meditative pause): Madame Vorsoisson, has it ever occurred to you that you may be just a touch oversocialized?

** And then, later on, Miles and Illyan take a boat out fishing. When they are unsuccessful, they decide to use [[NoKillLikeOverkill a stunner]].