History Funny / VampireReviews

* Listing off the specific groups of ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' haters as: [[LongList (*deep breath*)]] vampire fans, book fans, film fans, feminists, Christians, non-Christians, parents, teachers, children, Republicans, Democrats, the Green Party (represented here as The ComicBook/IncredibleHulk in Uncle Sam get-up), cats, orangutans, the old man who sings for change on her subway commute, YourMom, and "[[MyFriendsAndZoidberg this guy.]]"

* Just her struggling to find her first six reasons, half of which just relates to ''Twilight'' being a veritable fountain of SnarkBait.

* "Where's my [[Series/{{Batman}} Bat-phone]]?"

* Defensively telling the audience that she had the Nina perfume long before the ''{{Twilight}}'' perfume came out, she just... kept and didn't open it for a while because it smelled nice.

[[folder: Count von Count]]

* Her concern for the Count's obsession with counting, calling it institutionalizeable, and concluding that “countpires” are the Muppet equivalent of vampires.

* Episode 9

--->'''Brad:''' [[CursedWithAwesome It's a horrible gift]]! I was driving my friend to the hospital, he's probably dead!
--->'''Maven:''' Well, I guess that's Halloween-y.
--->'''Brad:''' And it's as good an excuse as any to drink!

--->'''Maven:''' Okay, [[INeedAFreakingDrink I need to start drinking]], '''right''' now.
--->'''Brad:''' I'm way ahead of you. I'm shitfaced right now!
--->'''Maven:''' While you were driving your friend to the hospital?
--->'''Brad:''' Well, it was my fault he got injured, I hit him with the car. I just threw him in the trunk.
--->'''Nella:''' Makes sense. I'm glad you're here.
--->'''Brad:''' Practise responsible drinking! ''[gives a thumbs up to the camera]''
*** Brad later contradicts himself by claiming he was at the movie theatre watching ''Film/TheLoneRanger'' with Brian, who had a heart attack at how good the movie was, when he was summoned, then points out that movie was released a year earlier.
* Episode 10

* Episode 21

--->'''Nella:''' You know, stealin', tis a sin, according to the church.
--->'''Lindsay:''' It's not a sin, it's beer disposal.
--->'''Nella:''' It is a sin, it's in there in the Ten Commandments there.
--->'''Lindsay:''' It's like vodka, it goes bad if you don't drink it.
--->'''Nella:''' That's also a lie, so now you're stealin' and you're lyin'.

--->'''Lindsay:''' But only since like a month ago, right?
--->'''Nella:''' No, we've sort of been okay with it for a while, we just like to keep it on the down low.

--->'''Nella:''' I just want to point out the logo for the Fire Island Beer Company is a deer jumping over barrels because the deer are hella present on Fire Island, they are everywhere, they walk everywhere, they eat everything.
--->'''Lindsay:''' Just on Long Island in general, right?
--->'''Nella:''' Fire Island even worse. They're even moreso on Fire Island. And everyone's like "Ooooh, cute deer". No. Deer are not cute. There's nothing cute about deer.
--->'''Maven:''' Deer are Nella's nemesis.
--->'''Nella:''' Now I do not say this lightly about one of God's created beings, but deer can burn in fucking Hell for all I care. Fuck you deer.

--->'''Maven:''' I love Captain Mormon.
--->'''Lindsay:''' I love Captain Mormon too, but what's really good? Captain ''Morgan''.

[[folder: Straight Outta Fangton]]

* Listing off the specific groups of ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' haters as: [[LongList (*deep breath*)]] vampire fans, book fans, film fans, feminists, Christians, non-Christians, parents, teachers, children, Republicans, Democrats, the Green Party (represented here as TheIncredibleHulk in Uncle Sam get-up), cats, orangutans, the old man who sings for change on her subway commute, YourMom, and "[[MyFriendsAndZoidberg this guy.]]"

-->'''Nella:''' It is a sin, it's in there in the Ten Commandments there.

---'>'''Nella:''' Fire Island even worse. They're even moreso on Fire Island. And everyone's like "Ooooh, cute deer". No. Deer are not cute. There's nothing cute about deer.

--->'''Brad:''' It's a horrible gift! I was driving my friend to the hospital, he's probably dead!

** Nella mentions she's dressed like a pirate and asks Maven if she's seen "that horrific pile of waste known as ''Film/CutThroatIsland''?" Just then, Creator/BradJones appears, claiming his one magic power is appearing once every year whenever someone says ''Cut Throat Island".

** Nella mentions she's dressed like a pirate and asks Maven if she's seen "that horrific pile of waste known as ''Film/CutthroatIsland''?" Just then, [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Brad Jones]] appears, claiming his one magic power is appearing once every year whenever someone says ''Cutthroat Island".

** Nella mentions she's dressed like a pirate and asks Maven if she's seen "that horrific pile of waste known as ''Film/CutthroatIsland''?" Just then, [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Brad Jones]] appears, claiming his one superpower is appearing once every year whenever someone says ''Cutthroat Island".

[[/folder]]

* The title card, with Maven staring at WillSmith with giant hearts in her eyes.

** Lindsay trying to seduce [[ToddInTheShadows Todd]] (and get him to drink the wine too). He is completely blasé about it, instead yawning and playing with his phone. It is never explained how or why he is there.

* Maven goes after ToddInTheShadows for his opinion on vampires becoming rockstars during the 80s and the 2000s. Todd is stealing liquor, and baffled at the Maven's schtick.

* After expressing disgust at seeing the Phantom of the Opera replaced with [[Film/TheMummysHand The Mummy]], Maven states that she had to "take revenge on that toilet-paper covered freak". Cue (Elisa's husband) PawDugan covered in toilet paper and asking "I still don't understand why am I doing this" before Elisa punches him.

* Maven's sustained belief that ObscurusLupa is a werewolf (and the HypocriticalHumor that results.)

* Screaming at the AnneRice Merrick. "Ahh, no! Not that Merrick!"

* After expressing disgust at seeing the Phantom of the Opera replaced with TheMummy, Maven states that she had to "take revenge on that toilet-paper covered freak". Cue (Elisa's husband) PawDugan covered in toilet paper and asking "I still don't understand why am I doing this" before Elisa punches him.

* Chick complaining to Dan about how people who like comic books should just grow up. Even funnier when you know she's got a ''{{Supergirl}}'' crossover with Linkara coming up.

-->Also, he's ''[[JerkassWoobie tortured]]''.

[[folder: Vampire VLogs]]

* ''AbrahamLincolnVampireHunter'': "[[SoOkayItsAverage It wasn't good]]...''[[RuleOfCool but it was awesome]]!''"