History Funny / UrinatingTreeThisWeekInSportsball

* New season, new intro for Sportsball - Tree eschews the NFL on FOX theme for the ESPN Sunday Night theme with the highlights being a multitude of fumbles, dropped passes, Andy Reid's gigantic face shield, Cincinnati's kicker pulling his hamstring missing a game-winner, and the cherry on top is Kevin Harlan's gleeful cry of "I'M CALLING BOTH GAMES" from the last regular season week of the 2019 season as Miami beat New England.

'''UT''': [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Seriously, delete your fucking franchise! You've made the same fuckups year after year and you have learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I don't know how I'd even look at my family if I kept failing like this! You're all colossal wastes of life!]] ''[Film/BillyMadison yells "YOU BLEW IT!"]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech All of you! Commit seppuku!]] [''Series/DrPhil says "You had an opportunity, and you blew it."'']

'''UT''': [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech Seriously, delete your fucking franchise! You've the same fuckups year after year and you have learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I don't know how I'd look at my own family if I kept failing like this! You're all colossal wastes of life!]] ''[Film/BillyMadison yells "YOU BLEW IT!"]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech All of you! Commit seppuku!]] [''Series/DrPhil says "You had an opportunity, and you blew it."'']

'''UT''': Guess what? The team that fumbled four times in one quarter is coming back on them! You wonder why they keep getting by the big boys in business and in life? Well, it's because of bullshit like this! 'Now Tree,' you say, 'you're being too harsh. [[TemptingFate Atlanta won't blow this onside kick]].' [''with less than two minutes remaining and only behind 37-39, Dallas made their onside kick and no Atlanta player made a dive for it, making it a successful attempt by Dallas, musical stinger as [[VideoGame/SonicSpinball Robotnik's laughter is heard]]''] Oh my gentle Jesus just [[SuddenlyShouting FOLLOW THE FUCKING BALL, YOU USELESS LITTLE SHITS]]! Oh god. [''the win probability chart appears, [[EpicFail with Atlanta having a 99.9% chance of winning with two minutes remaining]]''] The Falcons blew another big lead. The Falcons choked again! [''the Cowboys score a game winning field goal, UT laughs as a literal dumpster fire and SarcasticClapping appears, Mr. Kincade from the WesternAnimation/SouthPark episode "Guitar Queer-o" says "You blew it! You had it all and you blew it!"''] Good work, Atlanta, for this failure leads you to being our Lolcow of the Week! This team is a fucking joke!\\

'''Caption''': [''accompanying the headline where Arthur Blank contradicted Dan Quinn''] '''E[-VEN THE TEAM OWNER IS CALLING BULLSHIT, DAN-]'''\\

* The original upload of Sportsball Week 1 got pulled for "inappropriate content" - Tree responds by reuploading the video with random censor bleeps and massive amounts of biting-the-hand humor!

* The fact that there were so many injuries over the week’s slate of NFL games that Tree’s usual background music (“Taps”) was *too short*. And counted among the injuries were a power outage in Miami that interrupted the CBS broadcast of the Bills-Dolphins game, and the 49ers MRI truck breaking down.

* The injury roll at the end of the week changes as well - BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GODS!INJURIES FOR THE INJURY GODS!

* As a concession to the Steelers' victory over the Broncos, Tree magnanimously allows noted Broncos fan Brandon Perna from That's Good Sports to recap the game instead. Perna does the recap from his own channel's set, with the TGS logo replaced with a graphic stating [[BlatantLies "I'm Totally Not Bitter."]]

'''UT''': Guess what? The team that fumbled four times in one quarter is coming back on them! You wonder why they keep getting by the big boys in business and in life? Well, it's because of bullshit like this! 'Now Tree,' you say, 'you're being too harsh. [[TemptingFate Atlanta won't blow this onside kick]].' [''with less than two minutes remaining and only behind 37-39, Dallas made their onside kick and no Atlanta player made a dive for it, making it a successful attempt by Dallas, musical stinger as [[VideoGame/SonicSpinball Robotnik's laughter is heard]]''] Oh my gentle Jesus just [[SuddenlyShouting FOLLOW THE FUCKING BALL, YOU USELESS LITTLE SHITS]]! Oh god. [''the win probability chart appears, [[EpicFail with Atlanta having a 99.9% chance of winning with two minutes remaining]]''] The Falcons blew another big lead. The Falcons choked again! [''laughs as a literal dumpster fire and SarcasticClapping appears, Mr. Kincade from the WesternAnimation/SouthPark episode "Guitar Queer-o" says "You blew it! You had it all and you blew it!"''] Good work, Atlanta, for this failure leads you to being our Lolcow of the Week! This team is a fucking joke!\\

* With injuries piling up already, Tree used 49ers vs. Jets to debut the Injury Bowl, where the theme involved "Roundball Rock" punctuated with bones crunching and stock screams. The footage used included [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixMVuOslebI a golf cart running over a group of reporters during a Texas high school championship game]] and an ambulance running into a group of players in ''[[VideoGame/MaddenNFL Madden 94]]''. It ended with the two team logos collapsing with an ambulance in the background as [[VideoGame/CommandAndConquer "Unit lost!"]] plays.

'''UT''': Guess what? The team that fumbled four times in one quarter is coming back on them! You wonder why they keep getting by the big boys in business and in life? Well, it's because of bullshit like this! 'Now Tree,' you say, 'you're being too harsh. [[TemptingFate Atlanta won't blow this onside kick]].' [''with less than two minutes remaining and only behind 37-39, Dallas made their onside kick and no Atlanta player made a dive for it, making it a successful attempt by Dallas, musical stinger as [[VideoGame/SonicSpinball Robotnik's laughter is heard]]''] Oh my gentle Jesus just [[SuddenlyShouting FOLLOW THE FUCKING BALL, YOU USELESS LITTLE SHITS]]! Oh god. [''the win probability chart appears, [[EpicFail with Atlanta having a 99.9% chance of winning with two minutes remaining]]''] The Falcons blew another big lead. The Falcons choked again! [''laughs as a literal dumpster fire and SarcasticClapping appears, Mr. Kincade from the WesternAnimation/SouthPark episode "Guitar Queer-o" says "You blew it! You had it all and you blew it!"] Good work, Atlanta, for this failure leads you to being our Lolcow of the Week! This team is a fucking joke!\\

'''UT''': [[Seriously, delete your fucking franchise! You've the same fuckups year after year and you have learned ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I don't know how I'd look at my own family if I kept failing like this! You're all colossal wastes of life!]] ''[Film/BillyMadison yells "YOU BLEW IT!"]'' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech All of you! Commit seppuku!]] [''Series/DrPhil says "You had an opportunity, and you blew it."'']

!![[AC: NFL Week One (2020)]]

!![AC: NFL Week One (2020)]]

* With the Ravens beating the Browns to claim the AFC North and the Colts beating the Titans to claim the final Wild Card spot, the Steelers have failed to make the postseason for the first time since 2013. Tree spends most of the video giving the entire Steelers organisation a(nother) merciless TheReasonYouSuckSpeech, with particular vitriol directed toward the featured players in "Days of Our Steelers", including Ben Roethlisberger, Le'Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, and Mike Tomlin. [=JuJu=] Smith-Schuster has been spared from his wrath.

* You wouldn't expect a certain, Philadelphian comedy target of Tree's to appear in an NBA video, but with the Oklahoma City Thunder trading away Russell Westbrook and Paul George, Tree can only find one way to describe Seattle's collective reaction[[note]]The Thunder started life as the Seattle SuperSonics in 1967, and were [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seattle_SuperSonics_relocation_to_Oklahoma_City controversially relocated to Oklahoma City in 2008.]][[/note]]:

--->'''UT''': Elijah Moore of Ole Miss, a lesson that you keep yourself disciplined when the game is on the line. In the Egg Bowl, bragging rights are paramount. On the road, Ole Miss is down by seven, but look at them go down the field. Elijah Moore is the hero as ''[he scores a touchdown, and celebrates by imitating an urinating dog]'' -- wait, no, Elijah, NOOOO!!!\\

-->'''[=UrinatingTree=]''': Miami just has to...Dolphins, no, ''no''! Stop! STOP! Don't ruin this beautiful moment for us -- I swear to God if you (''RecordNeedleScratch as Dolphins win on field goal as time expires'') '''GOD ''FUCKING'' DAMMIT!''' YOU'VE RUINED THE GREATEST OUTCOME POSSIBLE! You guys can't even tank right -- you've ruined it, ''you've ruined it all!''

* In the spirit of Christmas (two days before the day of the video's upload, Tree channels Literature/TwasTheNightBeforeChristmas as he recounts how the New York Jets defeated the Steelers the previous Sunday.

'''UT''': He became a fucking idiot. His selfish antics resulted in a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Wouldn't you know it, those penalty yards result in the kicker missing the extra point. Mississippi State wins the game. Elijah congratulations. Your celebration cost your team everything and may have gotten your coach fired. If there's justice, his scholarship will be ripped up in pee dog. Preferably in front of his family. Hey I'm a vindictive asshole, you should expect it by now.

[[AC:Dallas Cowboys: Eliminated!]] ''[a StockScream can be heard over black spit being thrown on the team logo, as UT laughs hysterically over the whole thing and he can be also be heard mockingly letting out a "HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!" in the background]''\\

'''UT''': It is the reward that keeps on giving: [[TheThreeCertaintiesInLife death, taxes and the Titans going 9-7]], all constants of life as of late. It's more reliable than time itself. I'm that confident!

[[folder:Days of Our Steelers (2018)]]

[[folder:Days of Our Steelers (2019)]]

[[folder:Days of Our Steelers]]
!2018

!2019

with Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell both gone, most of the drama was gone to UT's relief. However, a few episodes were made in the event of a humiliating on-field display.