History Funny / TheOrderOfTheStick

'''Present!Serini:''' ''(trying to smack Illusion!Serini with her staff)'' Oh, shut up! '''''Shut up!''''' Nobody cares! [...]\\

'''Present!Serini:''' And you don't appreciate your left hand enough! Clipping your fingernails is still on Easy Mode for you!!

'''Present!Serini:''' Stop hyping it up, you loon! It's a defense system, not an amusement park!\\

'''Present!Serini:''' Yeah, yeah, keep your socks on.

'''Roy:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I would like to enter the big swirling portal now, if that's OK.\\

'''Serini:''' And you don't appreciate your left hand enough! Clipping your fingernails is still on Easy Mode for you!!

[[folder:Supplementary Material]]

'''Durkon:''' Oh, na, na, lemme assure ye: yellin' at yer own face c'n haf ''great'' therapeutic value, turns out.

--->'''Illusion!Serini:''' I'm Serini Toormuch - or at least an illusory recording of her, ''haha!''\\
'''Present!Serini:''' Oh, shut up! '''''Shut up!''''' Nobody cares! [...]\\

--> '''Oona:''' Okie Dokie, Oona is doing the thing! (throws a jar of bugs at Durkon and Minrah).

--->'''Xykon''': Look at you people, with your chewing. I'm disgusted.
--->'''Oona''': Wasn't bony man with tiny gold hat eating once?
--->'''Xykon''': Yeah, but then I stopped being some kind of degenerate with the urge to masticate three times a day.
--->'''Demon roach''': In public, no less!

[[folder: Supplementary Material]]

** And for the final update, as Roy, Haley, Elan, and Durkon thank the backers who donated ''over $1.25 million'', Belkar is BoundAndGagged again as a long line of new donors - including the kobold oracle and Vaarsuvius - wait their turn to kick him.

** Said demo (of "Marshmellow Saga Test") shows two modrons holding platters: the one in the left has 1 marshmellow and a card saying "10 gp", while the other one has 2 marshmellows and a card saying "or wait for 14 min 59 seconds".

[[folder:Supplementary Material]]

'''Belkar:''' Dude, are you even '''trying''' to have a climatic emotional catharsis?!?!\\

* The dwarves meet with the rest of the party, and with Xykon and Redcloak coming for them any time soon, Roy doesn't know whether to follow Haley's advice (hide, wait for their spells to expire and then come out for them) or Vaarsuvius' (attack them as soon as possible before they have time to prepare for a fight)... so he turns to ''Elan'' to ask him if they are in a climatic moment to have the final battle. Elan says no, so Roy picks Haley's suggestion.

** Belkar is still complaining about the anti-climatic way Team Evil seemed to have been done in:

-->'''Elan:''' '''Ewww''', gross!\\

[[folder: Final Arc]]

-->'''O-Chul:''' So you're saying you have nothing against humans?\\

-->''(Massive fireball obliterates the Wizard's Guild, destroying a piece of the jail next door. Cut to V with Haley at a bar)''
-->'''Vaarsuvius:''' It was, in fact, the only time in the history of the contest that a challenger was disqualified on the grounds that I had destroyed the stadium.
-->'''Haley:''' Tough break, V.

--> '''Durkon:''' [[RapidFireComedy On tha plus side, I think tha other kobolds died from laughter.]]

--> '''Elan:''' Wooooo! I'm invisible!! You can't see me!\\

-->'''Pompey:''' ...[[ImplausibleDeniability You know, technically I'm just an innocent victim, here.]]
-->'''Roy:''' Shut up.
-->'''Pompey:''' Shutting up, yessir.

-->'''Elan:''' You can't expect me to believe something so-
-->'''[[ComplexityAddiction Nale]]:''' "Needlessly complicated"?
-->'''Elan:''' Oh. Right.

-->'''Roy:''' I REMEMBER EVERYTHING!
-->'''Eugene:''' Good, then you can tell me what page it says you don't die til -10 HP.
-->'''Roy's Archon:''' I already told you, in this edition, that's an optional rule that we're not using! You're dead at 0 hp!
-->'''Eugene:''' Well, that's a stupid rule and they should change it!
-->'''Roy's Archon:''' They did!

-->'''Kazumi:''' Oh yeah? Did you go through six months of hemorrhoids to get them? Turn around and I'll show you exactly what that feels like.
-->'''Kazumi:''' Who cares how many people I have to kill? I can just make MORE in my TUMMY!

--->'''Celia:''' Oooo! What is that peppermint smell?
--->'''Thief:''' My mouth feels like a cool mountain spring!\\

-->'''Belkar:''' Mr. Scruffy calls dibs on the string!
-->'''Elan:''' Awww, man!

-->'''Roy:''' If we dangle him in front of what passes for its nose, it will move forward to find the source of the smell...
-->'''Durkon:''' An' carry us wit' it!
-->'''Haley:''' Like a donkey with a carrot!
-->'''Belkar:''' Wait just a goddamn minute! Hasn't anyone considered how I might feel about this? About the danger this puts me in? Hasn't anyone weight whether or not it's ethically acceptable to use me like- [[MoodWhiplash Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!]] Oh, gods, I almost got through that with a straight face. Heh heh, man. OK, dangle away.

-->'''Nale:''' I know how much you're attracted to those edgy "good boys", Sabine! You know I can never be that!
-->'''Sabine:''' No honey, that's not what I want! Sure, women like me swoon for a hero, but that's just because deep down we think we can change them! But me, I'm done with that! I just want to settle down with a nice, reliable mass-murderer like you!

--->"WHAT ABOUT THE DAMN MANSION WHORES? GEEZ, YOUR OLD LADY'S BEEN GONE FOR ONLY 18 SECONDS! KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS UNTIL AFTER THE BATTLE."
--->''(Belkar wounds Nale to the point where he falls unconscious)''
--->"[[MotorMouth ELAN, IS IT COOL IF I KILL YOUR BROTHER WHAT CAN'T HEAR YOUR ANSWER SORRY]]!"

--->'''Qarr:''' Check it out! It's history's worst mass-murderer and his dim-witted bird!
--->'''Blackwing:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Hey! History isn't over yet, mister!]]

-->'''Geoff:''' He has a chance to be someone '''important''', Ian- Because of my sacrifice.
-->''(Cut to the shop from #136. There is another unhappy customer, and behind the shopkeeper is a picture of Geoff and Ivy[[note]]Haley's aunt[[/note]])''
-->'''Customer:''' Do you, in fact, have any polearms at all?
-->'''Shop keeper:''' Certainly!

-->'''"Durkon:"''' '''THOR'S NUTS!'''

--> '''Eugene:''' You know, last time [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown I interrupted you sitting alone in the dark trying to figure out how your sword works]]--\\

--->'''Belkar:''' [[CallBack Sorry I hit you in the face with a palm tree that one time.]]
--->'''Durkon:''' Ultimate extreme apology accept'd.

'''Hilgry:''' ''(Whispering)'' I would say that I'm not going to one moment looking for her, but she's going to be in line of sight the entire time, isn't she?\\

--> '''Roy:''' I guess so, while we wait. If I'm at the point where I'm considering suggestions from '''Belkar''', I might as well.\\

-->'''Durkon:''' Och, nothin', lad. No response.
-->'''Roy:''' And there's no way to tell if they're dead or just unconscious? [[note]]For comparison, Julia was confident in her ability to carry on a conversation via Greater Sending with Roy's corpse.[[/note]]
-->'''Durkon:''' Or on 'nuther plane, or blocked by magic.
-->'''Roy:''' Damn it.

-->'''Belkar:''' I love when you talk fighting dirty to me.

--->'''Belkar:''' [...][[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0867.html Last time one of us ran off into a dungeon by themselves]], [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0868.html it didn't]] [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0872.html turn out]] [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0877.html so]] [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0878.html hot]].
--->'''Durkon:''' Och, [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0946.html ain't tha true.]]

--->'''Elan:''' I'm over here! You should follow me! Into this cave! This cave over here!
--->'''Haley:''' Not, uh...not exactly the most cunningly crafted trap, huh?
--->'''Roy:''' I imagine [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} the raw materials]] they're using are affecting the quality of the finished product.

-->'''Belkar:''' Why would anyone keep awful little death packets like that around the house??\\

-->'''Lien''': I did a cool thing with my shark and it's just been all down hill for me from there.
-->'''O-Chul''': There may be those that would shame you for failing to resist eleven puppy dog eyes, but I stand not among them.

-->'''Lien:''' Yeah, Elan's puppet has gotten us '''''into''''' scrapes before, [[https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0554.html says the woman who was almost sacrificed to it.]]\\

--->'''Haleo:''' ''Unnnh,'' what is that noise?
--->'''Julelan:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Oh, good, you're awake. Quick, sneak attack me so I can get this over with faster.]]

** [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0705.html 705]]: "Those Don't Take Over Until the Graveyard Shift" The Resistance was about to bust the Goblins' prisons, with Thanh telling Niu that the prison would be guarded only by a ''skeleton crew'' due to the celebrations. [[LiteralMetaphor Niu came bringing maces and holy waters to the operation.]]

-->'''Belkar:''' On behalf of all the men in the city, thank you for wearing a short skirt while flying. [[ADateWithRosiePalms You've given me a lot to think about. Heh.]]

'''Eugene:''' [[ADateWithRosiePalms -your mother made me install a lock on the bathroom door the next day.]]

-->'''Serini:''' Plus it really confuses their divination spells when they ask if there's a back door they can use to get in.

* 1277 Serini is being her usual obstinate self, and refuses to tell Roy anything that might even remotely hint at where the gate is, while Xykon has summoned a new ally to check all the doors. This ends up being a moot point, as Vaarsuvius uses the process of elimination to help Roy realize that they have to run a gauntlet to find the gate, essentially checking every single door, start to finish, to find the gate. This causes Serini to rage while Sunny essentially confirms that they are right.

-->'''Qarr:''' Check it out! It's history's worst mass-murderer and his dim-witted bird!
-->'''Blackwing:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase Hey! History isn't over yet, mister!]]

-->'''Qarr:''' Check it out! It's hitory's worst mass-murderer and his dim-witted bird!