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Changed line(s) 1074 (click to see context) from:
** [[{{Dexter's Laboratory}} Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
to:
** [[{{Dexter's Laboratory}} [[DextersLaboratory Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
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Changed line(s) 1074 (click to see context) from:
** [[Dexter'sLaboratory Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
to:
** [[Dexter'sLaboratory [[{{Dexter's Laboratory}} Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
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Changed line(s) 1073 (click to see context) from:
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': [=*disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetary*=] "Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!"]]
to:
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': [=*disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetary*=] "Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!"]]well!"]]
** [[Dexter'sLaboratory Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
** [[Dexter'sLaboratory Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
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All spoiler because it's on the blip channel and not on tgwtg.com yet
Changed line(s) 1066 (click to see context) from:
** "Hand over the bird and your children will be saved". Ok! [[IncrediblyLamePun * flips him the bird* ]]
to:
** "Hand over the bird and your children will be saved". Ok! [[IncrediblyLamePun * flips him the bird* ]]]]
* MrNanny
** [[spoiler:His reaction to the kids' sadism, when Hulk Hogan steps out of the shower to get electrocuted.]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': "Uhh, you know, there's a difference between pranks and attempted murder. I mean Jesus, kids, this is some creepy shit!"]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Alex Jr.''': "It's only the voltage. It can't kill him."]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': "Ah, okay, I guess it's not that bad."]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Kate''': "Then crank it up!"]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': [=*disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetary*=] "Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!"]]
* MrNanny
** [[spoiler:His reaction to the kids' sadism, when Hulk Hogan steps out of the shower to get electrocuted.]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': "Uhh, you know, there's a difference between pranks and attempted murder. I mean Jesus, kids, this is some creepy shit!"]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Alex Jr.''': "It's only the voltage. It can't kill him."]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': "Ah, okay, I guess it's not that bad."]]
---> [[spoiler:'''Kate''': "Then crank it up!"]]
---> [[spoiler:'''NC''': [=*disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetary*=] "Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!"]]
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Added DiffLines:
** Also, his use of that clip directly after [[HoYay this line]]:
-->"I almost kissed you, but I wouldn't."
-->"I almost kissed you, but I wouldn't."
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**This joke:
-->'''Ice:''' You need a psychiatrist!
-->'''Pot:''' You are so black!
-->'''Kettle:''' I'm not black, you're black!
-->'''Ice:''' You need a psychiatrist!
-->'''Pot:''' You are so black!
-->'''Kettle:''' I'm not black, you're black!
**The Randomly-Leaping-Off-Tall-Buildings Postman ("Maybe this wasn't such a hot IDEAAAAAAAAAA!" [splat]).
Changed line(s) 459 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Douchy [=McNitpick=]''': From my deepest hatred of you! I also have a picture of you kissing Devine and dancing the can-can with Hitler! Look, everyone, he's dancing the can-can with Hitler!
to:
--> '''Douchy [=McNitpick=]''': From my deepest hatred of you! I also have a picture of you kissing Devine Divine and dancing the can-can with Hitler! Look, everyone, he's dancing the can-can with Hitler!
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** "At least in Planet of the Apes, the humans were dumb, so it made sense that they'd treat them like animals; but here, there's no logic! It's like Planet of the Apes without the logic! You know, like the REMAKE of Planet of the Apes!"
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Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
** "He's gonna go Shaq Fu on your asses!" ([[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Awesomeness]][[HilarityEnsues ensues]])
to:
** "He's gonna go Shaq Fu on your asses!" ([[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Awesomeness]][[HilarityEnsues Awesomeness]] [[HilarityEnsues ensues]])
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Added DiffLines:
** "He's gonna go Shaq Fu on your asses!" ([[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Awesomeness]][[HilarityEnsues ensues]])
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Added DiffLines:
** Concerning Simon Belmont, with the image of Simon in Simon's Quest:
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "I mean, where did they even get the idea to gay him up so much? I mean the original hero has long hair, wears leather, carries a whip, jumps around in a skirt, I think I just answered my own question."
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "I mean, where did they even get the idea to gay him up so much? I mean the original hero has long hair, wears leather, carries a whip, jumps around in a skirt, I think I just answered my own question."
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Changed line(s) 1012 (click to see context) from:
* "The Tommy Wiseau Show." '''All of it.''' Doubles as a [[CrowningMoment/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses Crowning Moment Of Awesome]], as well.
to:
* "The Tommy Wiseau Show." Both the video and the recording of the live performance. '''All of it.''' ''' Doubles as a [[CrowningMoment/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses Crowning Moment Of Awesome]], as well.
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** He's reaction to the fact the Richard Roundtree, a.k.a. {{Shaft}} is playing the commissioner.
---> '''Commissioner'''(appearing for the first time and seeing Teddy on a fundraiser): Teddy?
---> '''NC:''' SHAFT?!
---> '''Commissioner:''' Not many people get to meet their maker on a fundraiser, huh?
---> '''NC:''' Oh, G... NOOO!!!
---> '''Another character:''' Excuse me, sir, is there, uh, something wrong?
---> '''Commissioner:''' Yes, yes, there's been a dinocide.
---> '''NC:''' Oh, and the fact that you're JOHN SHAFT AND YOU'RE TALKING TO A FUCKING DINOSAUR!!!
---> '''Commissioner'''(appearing for the first time and seeing Teddy on a fundraiser): Teddy?
---> '''NC:''' SHAFT?!
---> '''Commissioner:''' Not many people get to meet their maker on a fundraiser, huh?
---> '''NC:''' Oh, G... NOOO!!!
---> '''Another character:''' Excuse me, sir, is there, uh, something wrong?
---> '''Commissioner:''' Yes, yes, there's been a dinocide.
---> '''NC:''' Oh, and the fact that you're JOHN SHAFT AND YOU'RE TALKING TO A FUCKING DINOSAUR!!!
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Changed line(s) 1046 (click to see context) from:
* After seeing all the {{Incredibly Lame Pun}}s: "Ow, ow, joke hurting me!"
to:
** "Hand over the bird and your children will be saved". Ok! [[IncrediblyLamePun *flips him the bird* ]]
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Changed line(s) 1044 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Good answer!
to:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Good answer!answer!
* After seeing all the {{Incredibly Lame Pun}}s: "Ow, ow, joke hurting me!"
* After seeing all the {{Incredibly Lame Pun}}s: "Ow, ow, joke hurting me!"
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Changed line(s) 1042 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Blaaaaaaa * voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be*
to:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Blaaaaaaa Bllllaaaaaaa * voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be*
Changed line(s) 1044 (click to see context) from:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic: Good answer!
to:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic: Critic''': Good answer!
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Changed line(s) 1040 (click to see context) from:
** Trying to avoid {{Unfortunate Implications}} after Halle Berry asks how he wants his coffee.
to:
** Trying to avoid {{Unfortunate Implications}} after Halle Berry asks how he wants his coffee.coffee.
---> '''Halle Berry's Character''': How would you like your coffee?
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Blaaaaaaa *voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be*
---> '''Fred''': In a cup?
---> '''Nostalgia Critic: Good answer!
---> '''Halle Berry's Character''': How would you like your coffee?
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Blaaaaaaa *voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be*
---> '''Fred''': In a cup?
---> '''Nostalgia Critic: Good answer!
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Changed line(s) 1037 (click to see context) from:
* ''{{The Flintstones}} Movie'': Hallie Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
to:
* ''{{The Flintstones}} Movie'': Hallie Halle Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
Changed line(s) 1039 (click to see context) from:
** [[SuperMarioBrothers "Monkey!"]]
to:
** [[SuperMarioBrothers "Monkey!"]]"Monkey!"]]
** Trying to avoid {{Unfortunate Implications}} after Halle Berry asks how he wants his coffee.
** Trying to avoid {{Unfortunate Implications}} after Halle Berry asks how he wants his coffee.
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Added DiffLines:
-->''How will Captain America get out of this one???? Will he turn the White House into rubble? Or will he escape to have his American ass beaten once more???? Tune in next time... which is... Right now!''
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Changed line(s) 1037 (click to see context) from:
** "Science of [[LooneyTunes Wild E. Coyote]], don't fail me now!"
to:
** "Science of [[LooneyTunes Wild E. Coyote]], don't fail me now!"now!"
** [[SuperMarioBrothers "Monkey!"]]
** [[SuperMarioBrothers "Monkey!"]]
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Changed line(s) 1036 (click to see context) from:
* ''{{The Flintstones}}'': Halle Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
to:
* ''{{The Flintstones}}'': Halle Flintstones}} Movie'': Hallie Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.audience.
** "Science of [[LooneyTunes Wild E. Coyote]], don't fail me now!"
** "Science of [[LooneyTunes Wild E. Coyote]], don't fail me now!"
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Changed line(s) 1035 (click to see context) from:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel."
to:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel.""
* ''{{The Flintstones}}'': Halle Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
* ''{{The Flintstones}}'': Halle Berry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
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Changed line(s) 555 (click to see context) from:
* From his review of ''Junior'': His reaction to the freaky Ahnold baby.
to:
* From his review of ''Junior'': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-8MFK6JGSA His reaction to the freaky Ahnold baby.]]
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** "Gawd! They sound like humpback whales GETTING THEIR DICKS CHOPPED OFF!!
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*** "Don't forget to hit the Asians!"
Changed line(s) 920 (click to see context) from:
** "Oim heah to blur the loin of reali-tee!"
to:
** "Oim heah to blur the loin loins of reali-tee!"
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** "It's Dustin Hoffman, Peter! He's trying to out-mug you!"
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*** The Critic's expression though to Pee Wee's PSA though is quite comedy gold in itself.
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Transferring to the TGWTG page.
Changed line(s) 1031,1033 (click to see context) from:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel."
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''
to:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel."
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''"
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
itypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
to:
--> itypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Critic:''' Mr. Taconovahumpashirerinkydinkyhamstermasterpollywollywannabingbangsupercalifragilisticknickknackpaddywackygivethedogabananafannafofrescahickorydickoryhockitypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
to:
--> '''Critic:''' Mr. Taconovahumpashirerinkydinkyhamstermasterpollywollywannabingbangsupercalifragilisticknickknackpaddywackygivethedogabananafannafofrescahickorydickoryhockitypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, Taconovahumpashirerinkydinkyhamstermasterpollywollywannabingbangsupercalifragilisticknickknackpaddywackygivethedogabananafannafofrescahickorydickoryhock-
itypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
itypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
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Changed line(s) 1030 (click to see context) from:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel."
to:
*** "It's tough being a squirrel.""
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''
* Chester A Bum: '''"MY TESTICLES KILLED A WILD BOAR!"'''
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
Click the edit button to start this new page.
to:
--> "Sit back and let's enjoy TMNT 3." ''(5 minutes later)'' [[GoMadFromTheRevelation "OH MY GOD IT'S SO TERRIBLE! IT'S SO TERRIBLEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"]] .... "This movie is... is... '''HORRIBIFUCKUS!'''"
* "A Bat-credit card? They gave [[{{Batman}} him]]...a Bat-credit card? [[GoMadFromTheRevelation They had the BALLS to give one of the greatest superheroes of all time]]...'''[[BerserkButton A BAT-CREDIT CARD?! [goes nuts] NOOO! NOOO! Does not compute! Does not compute!]]"''' ''(spews [[{{Angrish}} angry gibberish as he's restrained]])''
** ''(20 minutes later...)'' "I apologize for that outrage. It was childish and immature. I just get a little peeved, when I see one of my childhood icons carrying... '''[[BerserkButton A BAT-CREDIT CARD! YOU BASTARDS! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU! ALL OF YOU WILL DIE...!]]'''" ''(spews [[{{Angrish}} angry gibberish as he's restrained]]...again)''
*** ''(One hour later...)'' * Deep breath* * {{beat}} '''"[[UnstoppableRage RAPE MY CHILDHOOD, WILL YOU!? YOU WILL ALL DIE!! YOU WILL ALL DIE!!!]]"''' ''(spews [[{{Angrish}} angry gibberish as he's restrained]] for a third time)''
**** ''(Seven hours later...)'' OK... I'm fine, I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm fine. So, after Batman uses the ''(very strained)'' ''you-know-what''...
** When he was driven to try to escape the review after one too many corny lines:
-->'''Critic''': [[TemptingFate All that's missing is for Freeze to shout out, "First Gotham, then the world!"]]\\
'''Mr. Freeze''': [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor First, Gotham. Then...THE WORLD!]]\\
''(Critic suppresses an aneurysm, then puts a tape recorder and a pillow dolled up with a mask, hat, jacket, and glasses to somewhat look like him. He makes a "shhhh..." at the camera, hits "play" on the tape deck and leaves the dummy.)''\\
'''Recording''': [[AC:I hate this. Look at that. That's so lame. This is idiotic. I really hate this. This is so stupid. I wish I could kill myself. Wow, that's horrible. Oh my god, I can't believe how bad this is. I wish I could kill myself.]]\\
''(Sounds of beatings, taken from Tom and Jerry, before Critic is forced back into frame.)''
** "It has finally happened! Batman has driven me BATSHIT INSANE!"
** Iiit's...[[MaryPoppins Supercrapafuckarifficexpialibullshit!]] A film So bad that censors really oughta go and pull it. Sadly there's not many words that only rhyme with bullshit...
** "Yes, listen to the sane man in the bat-suit."
* Anytime there is a villain who wants to, you guessed it, TakeOverTheWorld.
-->'''[[StreetFighter M. Bison]]''': ''OF COURSE!''
** And when he 'got sick of it', Bison keeps interrupting him with '''OF COURSE!!!''', ending with his panel flattening the Critic.
-->''Fucking joke''
** Or when the Critic gets annoyed with any mention of [[StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Captain Kirk's]] '''KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!''' during his review of ''Mortal Kombat: Annihilation''.
* From the ''Captain Planet'' review, his reaction to learning the topic of one of the [[VerySpecialEpisode Very Special Episodes]]. His face is all that needs to be said.
--> '''Critic''': "So, Captain Planet, what other issues are you going to talk to grade school kids about?"
--> '''Kid''': "AIDS?"
--> Cartoon sound effect, look of absolute dumbfoundedness on Critic's face
* "[[TomAndJerry A cat and a mouse]] are driving a ship trying to save the daughter of Indiana Jones while being chased by a Purple People Eater, a dog on a skateboard, a performing ship captain, his hand puppet Squawk, two Mexican wrestlers, and a doctor riding an ice cream cart! Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the [[MindScrew Mind Fuck]]."
** Also, the most awesome SpitTake ever involving sangria and watermelon.
** "Is he going to ''sexually assault'' that bike?"
** "How do I know all this? BECAUSE HE [[VillainSong SINGS ABOUT IT!]]"
** "So after they escape the singing cat gang, good God, did I really just say that?"
** Well, there's this dog on a skateboard. And yeah, he sounds like Gollum. ''(shrugs wearily)''
* During his review of Kazaam:
-->''Kazaam'': "Problem is, Djinn only exist in fairy tales. I don't believe in fairy tales."
-->''Critic'' : * {{Beat}}* "The genie doesn't believe in fairy tales. * moves closer to the camera* The ''Genie" doesn't ''believe'' in ''fairy tales''. * another {{beat}}, then the Critic punches the camera* '' '''HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO?!?!?!?''' ''
** '''[[color:red:SHAQGASM!]]'''
* From his ''Godzilla'' review:
--> "So yeah, apparently ''fire'' translates English into Japanese".
** The montage/mash-up of flying scenes.
** Who could forget his mangled attempts at pronouncing "Nick Tatopoulos," Matthew Broderick's character's name, finally culminating in...
--> '''Critic:''' Mr. Taconovahumpashirerinkydinkyhamstermasterpollywollywannabingbangsupercalifragilisticknickknackpaddywackygivethedogabananafannafofrescahickorydickoryhockitypockitywockitywackangelinafrancesca, the Third.
---> '''Matthew Broderick:''' It's "Tatopoulos."
---> '''Critic:''' Whatever.
* The Nostalgia Critic singing [[RockyHorrorPictureShow Sweet Transvestite]] while the Nostalgia Chick randomly plays the accordion in the background during the review of ''{{Ferngully}}'' is just hilarious.
** And we can't forget whenever there's a '''[[BigLippedAlligatorMoment BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!]]'''
** [[GRatedSex "Now you're pregnant."]]
*** [[MisterSeahorse No, it's not the Critic saying that...]]
** Hell, just that entire review is a CMOF. Those two need to team up more often!
*** Agreed. ''Don't you ever try to bring logic into this movie again! [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch This is FERN GULLY, BITCH!]]''
** (after a scene with two very small-brained birds asking for a password:) "Welcome to hell?" (awkward smile) "Don't eat shrooms?" (awkward smile)
** "Isn't that right [[Disney/{{Aladdin}} Jasmin]] - I mean [[{{Ferngully}} Crysta]]. Maybe we should consult [[Disney/{{Aladdin}} The Genie]] - I mean [[{{Ferngully}} Batty]]. After all, that is why I'm [[Disney/{{Aladdin}} Sultan]] - I mean [[{{Ferngully}} king]]!......Which animated movie am I in again?"
** The following exchange:
--> The elf king: Somehow, I thought [humans would] be bigger!
--> Crysta: Well, we had sort of an accident, and he kinda... shrunk.
--> Nostalgia Critic: [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean I have pills for that]]. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Not that I... need them or anything...]]
--> Nostalgia Chick: [[DeadpanSnarker (Eyerolls)]]
** "[[ItGotWorse Oh! He raps!]]"
--> '''Chick:''' Listening to RobinWilliams rap is like listening to {{Eminem}}, sung by M&Ms, while taking part in S&M.\\
'''Critic:''' Annoying, bad for you, and incredibly painful.
* "This is torture! [[ThreeHundred This is madness]]!!"
--> '''[[ThisIsSparta THIS! IS! SONIC!!!]]'''
** Regarding Robotnik in ''[[Series/SonicTheHedgehog SatAM]]'':
-->"But ''surely'' you can't take something as ''silly''-looking as ''Robotnik'' and have him be the ''least'' bit intimida-- ''[[=SatAM=] Robotnik pops up]''-- '''''JESUS!'''''
-->"Its like he's orgasming with every word!"
** And then there's the moment Nostalgia Critic's mind finally snaps under the madness of ''[[AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog AoStH]]'':
-->'''Sonic''': "Even you can learn something from a sloth!"\\
'''NC''': "...'''FUCK THIS SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!'''" ''* proceeds to shoot the entire cast of [=AoStH=]* ''
** "What!? What!? [[{{Angrish}} Buh...]] Pumpkin!? What!? Pumpkin?! What!? I don't care what drug-induced land you're in, you ''cannot blow in your hand'' and come up with a ''pumpkin.''"
*** "How did you even ''come'' to that conclusion?!
** "How can you blow into your hand and make a WOMAN? WHY would you even be chasing hedgehogs if you can blow into your hand and make a ''WOMAN''?! It does not! Add! Up!"
* The entire review for ''The Good Son'' was a piece of genius, as the Critic did it entirely silently.
** [Since I can't speak, I'm just gonna to play some sounds of miscellaneous violence.]
* [[{{Twister}} HOOOOOOOOOORSE!]]
* "Ah great, ya blew up the Wah Wah Machine!"
* The Nostalgia Critic Vs. AngryVideoGameNerd final battle is a thing of true beauty, particularly the [[ClusterFBomb Cluster F Broadsides]] they hit each other with mid-battle.
-->'''NC''': ''(after getting kicked into a wall of cardboard boxes)'' Who keeps piles of boxes around? Honestly?\\
'''AVGN''': [[BerserkButton Oh, don't you talk about my boxes!]] [[CompanionCube I like boxes!]]\\
'''NC''': That's the fuckest thing I've ever heard, shit-mop!\\
'''AVGN''': Shitload of fuck!\\
'''NC''': Fuckmonkey!\\
'''AVGN''': I'm giving you both middle fingers... AT FULL FORCE!\\
'''NC''': Cow-humping transvestite!\\
'''AVGN''': Fee-fi-fo-fuck you!\\
'''NC''': Ass-blower!\\
'''AVGN''': Turdburglar! Robble-robble-robble!\\
'''NC''': ''(mocking tone)'' Oh, look at me, I'm the Angry Video Game Nerd!\\
''(Both of them babble at each other incomprehensibly for a few seconds)''\\
'''AVGN''': Shuuuuuuuuut up! Shuuuuuuuuuuuut up! Shuuuuuuuuuut up!\\
'''NC''': You fucky little fuckless fucking motherfucking fucket of fucking world!\\
'''Both''': [[ClusterFBomb Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck]]!\\
'''NC''': Cocknocker!\\
'''AVGN''': ({{Beat}})...[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Jerk]].\\
'''NC''': [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne * gasp!* That's it]]!
** In the behind the scenes video, the camera guy does one better:
-->'''Camera Man''': ''(after everything above)'' Well, that just about sums up this whole feud, doesn't it?
** Also from the behind-the-scenes video, no-one knowing how to tie a tie, when the Critic's starts coming undone. Which leads to this moment...[[spoiler:with the Nerd/James' real wife eventually tying it]]!
-->'''Critic:''' There's ''four guys'' in this house, and nobody knows how to tie a tie!
-->'''Cameraman:''' * ''As the Nerd ties the Critic's tie for him''* Now he's dressing you.
-->'''Critic:''' This is never making it anywhere. This is never going to be shown.
** Chester A. Bum's review of the Final Battle is pretty great as well.
--> "But Super-Mega-Kablooey-Jesus comes out! [[GoshDangItToHeck And he's like 'Fudgers! Fudgers!']] ...Remember, [I'm] Mormon."
*** Turns HilariousInHindsight in his review of IronMan 2, wherein the defining characteristic of Bum!Samuel L Jackson is his carpet ClusterFBombing. Guess the mormons kicked him out. Now calling IKnewIt on any future "I was a mormon once!"
--> '''Chester''': [[SnakesOnAPlane I have had it with these motherfucking]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext Iron Men on my motherfucking donuts]].
* The Critic's review of ''SavedByTheBell'' ends with the Critic laughing for two minutes straight at Zack's ridiculous rock star outfit ("He looks like Vanilla Ice's bitch!") ending it with "....I think I just orgasmed....."
** '''"[[TheKhan OOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!]]"'''
* The Critic's SNES review of Bebe's Kids still has this troper in stitches:
--> "HA-HA! I BEAT HIM! I ACTUALLY BEAT HIM! THERE IS A GO-!"
--> "A ''time limit''? There's a ''time limit''? I could eat my way through a WALL, FASTER THAN I CAN DEFEAT THESE ASSHOLES, AND THERE'S A TIME, LIMIT?!"
--> "And, throw it! And, throw it!...THROW IT, YOU BITCH!!"
--> "I KNEW IT! I KNEW I COULD DO IT! I KNEW I COULD PULL IT O-"
** "THAT'S! FUCKING! IM! POSSIBLE!"
* The entire end of the ''Garbage Pail Kids'' review.
-->"My god. The movie has turned me into what it always was. A dirty piece of crap."
** Also:
--->* creepy ambient music* \\
'''Older critic:''' A movie so bad it actually ages you as you watch it.\\
'''Critic:''' Wow... it's that bad?\\
'''Older critic:''' Yes. * music cuts off* Now piss off, I'm trying to eat my Cheerios.
* From his review of ''RockADoodle'', there's:
** The Critic's scenario of how Christopher Plummer was forced into playing the Duke.
** His boggling over Edmund's line "I'm a [[FurryFandom fuwwy]]!" as well as to the BigLippedAlligatorMoment later on.
** "No song that begins with the lyrics 'Tweedley-dee' can ''possibly'' be good. ''Go back and try again!!!''"
** "Hey, look. She kissed his [[IncrediblyLamePun pecker]]..." (really long {{beat}}) "...Next scene."
** "[[TheWizardOfOz Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It's a crappy movie! It's a crappy movie!]]"
** "[[SouthPark Screw this movie, i'ma goin' home.]]"
* In ''Pagemaster'', "I think we need a [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle Sonic Sez]] right now."
** The evil Reading Rainbow opening.
-->[in a deep, grovelly voice] ''"Take a look, it's in a book...READING RAINBOOOOOOW!"''
** Not to mention:
--> ''"Zuul! ZUUL! ZUUL, MOTHERFUCKER, ZUUL!"''
* The Nostalgia Critic comments on some of the fan mail he got from irate [[MakoIwamatsu Mako]] fans for making fun of Splinter's voice in the TMNT movie:
-->''""You don't mess with Mako, motherfucker," "Leave Mako alone, he is the Man," and "You should crucify your privates for making fun of Mako!" Well, ''there'' goes the one-year anniversary surprise...."''
** And then saying "Sheesh, you guys are all acting like the guy died or someth--" ''(A memorial picture of Mako appears, showing that he did indeed die)'' "GOD DAMMIT!"
*** And his "love" for Mako in the ''Sidekicks'' review.
* At the end of the Nostalgia Critic's comparison of ''[[Film/BatMan Batman]]'' and ''TheDarkKnight'', he gets a call from a spazzed out Christian Bale yelling at him about his comments on his voice-acting.
* [[ShortCircuit "I, ROBOT! YOU, DEAD!"]]
** His reaction to the beating Johnny 5 gets toward the end of ''Short Circuit 2''.
--> ''"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! JOOOOOOHNY FIIIIIIIIIIVE!"''
*** And the cuts between Johnny being mangled and:
--> [[LordOfTheRings Frodo]] screaming [[BigNo "NNNNOOOOOOOO!]]
--> TheGodfather screaming and crying
--> ChrisCrocker yelling "Leave him alone!"
** Doug's reaction to Ben saying "fucking" (though I'd swear he's saying "backing"). "Dude, Ben, watch the potty mouth, it's a kid's movie!"
* The very end of the Nostalgia Critic's review of FullHouse, where everytime he begins to say his CatchPhrase, the Olsen twins attack him:
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': "You know what I do and you know why I do it" (runs like hell)
** ...[[FridgeLogic Wait, that's longer than the actual catchphrase.]]
*** Not to ''say'', it isn't.
*** It's 2 syllables longer than "I remember it so you don't have to"
** "The [[CashCowFranchise cash cow]] goes? MOOOO!"
** Everytime Michelle says something "cute", prompting him to say "Awww" in a way that suggests he's just been impaled:
->'''Michelle:''' What'll it be Comet? Kibbles or bits?\\
'''Critic:''' Awwwwwwwwwwww!\\
'''Michelle:''' You're goin' down!\\
'''Critic:''' AWWWWWWWWWWW!\\
'''Girl:''' Aren't you supposed to keep your cards close to your body?\\
'''Michelle:''' Aren't you supposed to keep your eyes close to your head?\\
'''Critic: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!'''
* The "Loosen his pants" line from ''{{North}}'' was (unintentionally) funny in and of itself, but the Critic moved it to a whole new level with his "Nostalgia Critic's Top 10 Jokes for This Scene".
** On a related note, ''North'' also carries the dubious honor of having the ''worst'' joke he has ever heard in his life. He reacts accordingly.
** "Iiit's time to play... ''Spot The Joke!''" * JeopardyThinkingMusic*
** ''Mr. Ho'': "Hawaii is a very fertile land. In fact there is only one barren spot on the whole island. Unfortunately, it's Mrs. Ho."\\
''NC'': "That's the worst thing ever uttered by a human being, this movie is pure evil."
* During The Nostalgia Critic's review of ''A Kid in King Arthur's Court'', upon seeing someone who, despite pretending to have no ill intentions, is quite obviously going to be the villain introduced, the Critic says,"[[spoiler: By the way, did I mention that I'm the villain in this movie? No, ''because I don't have to!'']]"
** [[ThisIsSparta Go. Back. To. The LESBIANS!]]
*** "What kind of sexual subtext could these two have?"
--> '''Arthur:''' So you should [[AccidentalInnuendo never swallow it?]]
--> '''Critic:''' [speechless]
** " 'Ha! Did you see what I just did there? '''I''' made fun of '''[[KateWinslet your]]''' acting! Ha ha ha! Because '''I'm''' the one who's going to have a career after this movie! '''I''' was the villain in ''TrueLies''! When will '''you''' ever be in a [[{{Titanic}} James Cameron movie?]] Ah, ha ha ha!' Oh, God, I'm funny." Yeah, actually, you are.
** "My only hope is that I can knock out all memory of this movie by hitting myself on the head repeatedly with the complete works of {{Shakespeare}}."
* From the Red Sonja review: "Are you over thewe~? Or over thewe~?"
** "I guess I should stab her again. I guess I should stab her again. [[TooDumbToLive I guess I should stab her again.]]"
** The Critic's reaction to the [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment naked dancing woman]] (now with added {{Censor Box}}!), when the wizard is showing who the intruders are.
** His ArnoldSchwarzenegger impression, particularly the part where he dubs Arnold's character riding the sea serpent with "WHEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEEEE!!!!"
* The entire "Grape Nose Boy" scene from the ''GoodBurger'' review, which ends with the Critic describing the actually non-existent [[DivineComedy Eleventh Level Of Hell]]
-->''And lo and behold, an obnoxious douchebag with unconvincing dreads will put grapes in his nose and constantly shout 'Bloobity bloobity bloobity bloobity', and it will be called the Eleventh Level of Hell. Dante then wet himself and cried in fear.''
** Or who can forget the end:
--->'''Ed''': Welcome to the Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?\\
'''Nostalgia Critic''': * feigning amusement* Yes, yes you can. * a [[TheLordOfTheRings Balrog]]'s face appears over his own* '''DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!'''
** [[WTHCastingAgency Abe Vigoda]]. "Will someone ''please'' give Abe some direction? He's the funniest thing in this movie, and I think he's about to pee in the corner!"
** '''Ed''': Why don't you want a partnership? Is it cause I'm black?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': AAGH! A FUNNY JOKE!
* The Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd's team-up to review ''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Making of Coming Out Of Our Shells'' is pretty much wall to wall hilarity, especially the repeated gags with the coffee mugs and both critics' emotional breakdown when the "concert" continues well, well, ''well'' after the credits have ended.
** '''WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!'''
-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': ''I remember it, so you don't have to.''
-->'''Angry Video Game Nerd''': ''And I....[[YourMom shit on your momma's face.]]''
** And their reaction when Raphael says that he 'was banging on some pipes'.
-->'''Critic and Nerd:''' * recoling in disgust* Woahhhhh!
-->'''Nerd:''' I don't know what he's talking about, banging on pipes!
* There's also his review in Film/MightyMorphinPowerRangers The Movie, where the Critic imitates JohnnyYongBosch, and in the same time (maybe intentionally) explains/predicts why he's now one of the more popular Anime voice actors.
-->''Hey, hey bitch, get back here! Where's my real superpower? Hey! HEEEEYYYYYY!!! HEEEEYYYYY!!! Fuck this, man, I'm gonna go into anime.''
** Also his rant at the end.
--> [[MindScrew This movie makes no sense]], nothing about the PowerRangers does! [[TokyoIsTheCenterOfTheUniverse How come the monsters always land in the exact same city?]] [[StockFootage How come the city turns into a canyon whenever the fight scene's about to happen?]] [[ColorCodedForYourConvenience How come nobody recognizes the rangers even though they wear the exact same colors every day?]] [[TourettesShitcockSyndrome How come they always move like they have Tourette Syndrome?]] [[MostAnnoyingSound How come Rita's voice never sounds right?]] [[SuperSentaiStance How come they dress up like Nascar mannequins?]] [[SpaceDoesNotWorkThatWay How come it's sunny in space?]] [[AmbiguouslyGay How come Alpha's so gay?]] [[FetishFuel/PowerRangers How come Kimberly's so hot?]]
--> [[EarWorm/LiveActionTV And why is that theme song so damn catchy?!]]
* In the wake of the controversy over his Mako bashing, the review of ''Sidekicks'' makes the Critic's desperate attempts to resist making jokes about Mako's character funnier than any actual jokes could have been. And then it ends in a gleeful {{Crossing the Line Twice}} moment that leaves you completely unsure how offended to be.
** Not to mention the massive implied mockery of Mako's FanDumb.
** '''[[RunningGag "A-CHUCK A-NOOOORIIIIIIIIS!"]]''' Later repeated in the ''Captain America'' review. It still doesn't disappoint.
*** And again in his AloneInTheDark review. It never gets old!
** His impersonation of Mako and the main protagonist in one scene is downright hilarious.
*** (Off screen) * Splat* "Stop throwing dough at me!" "Next, we throw bottles!" * Glass shatters*
** "Chuck Norris will cure the disabled!"
** And who could forget when he was criticizing the Smoking Man's horrible acting?
-->"How do you think he'd react if he got shot? ''[a gunshot is heard]'' Gunshot? Gunshot? Gunshot?! I've been gunshot! [[StarWars R2-D2, where are you?]]"
* His review of [[{{Transformers}} Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen]] is a hilarious homage to his review of the first live-action Transformers movie...not to mention is several minutes of pure Nerd-gasming. The icing on the cake of hilarity, however, is a cameo by none other than [[spoiler:Chester A Bum]]
** "Dude, did he just steal my act?"
* Chester A. Bum's cameo in ''Steel''. "Oh my god, they're filming a Shaq movie! I'm outta here!"
** "It could have been worse. He could have played [[BrainBleach Wonder Woman]]. ''(pause)'' And I'm going to spare you that image. I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it [[spoiler: '''HA!"''' ''(cue image of Shaq dressed up as Wonder Woman)'' "Let it haunt your nightmares!" [[EvilLaugh Aa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!]] ]]
** "But one question remains! DID GRANDMA EVER FINISH HER SOUFFLÉ?!"
* Although considering what [[FunnyAneurysmMoment happened a month or so later]], there certainly are a couple amusing moments in the Nostalgia Critc's review of ''{{Moonwalker}}''.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' * ''impersonating Jackson's voice''* That's right, I don't care what you think...as this incredibly expensive musical representation of a middle finger ''clearly'' shows.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' * ''impersonating Jackson's voice''* The Hills are alive, with the sound of JAMON!
-->* ''As Jackson's running down streets''* JAMONE JAMONE JAMONE! WOO! WOO-WOO-WOO! HE! HE! HE! OBA-JE-JAMONE! JE-JE-HA-HA! JEBA-JE! JEBA-JE-HA! OW!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' It's like they're at an orgy....but they forgot the sex....
** "Oh no! The plot!"
* Two words: Cocoa Puffs. Crosses the line so many times yet it finally just loops back to being hysterical again.
** '''[[GRatedDrug PUFFS!]]'''
* From his review of {{Gargoyles}}:
-->"Do they ''ever'' freeze in an embarrassing pose? * demonstrates* Like one of them's just standing there, taking a whizz, and then suddenly 'Oh, shit, the sun! [[CurseCutShort Motherf-!]] * freezes* "
--->'''Goliath:''' "They denied me everything! EVEN MY '''RE-VENGE!!!'''"
--->'''Critic:''' "And on top of that, I THINK I HAVE A '''SPLIN-TER!!!'''"
** His description of "Future Tense" and its various plot twists:
--->"[...] where Goliath arrives in the future, and all hell broke loose as Xanatos has apparently taken over. Trying to set things right, all the Gargoyles get ''killed'' and ''slaughtered'' by Xanatos's army. But ''then'' it turns out that Xanatos is a computer with all the memories of the original person. But ''then'' it turns out it wasn't Xanatos at all, it was ''Lexington'', who's become overtaken by madness. But ''then'' it turns out that it was all an illusion by Puck to try and get a mythical emblem [the Phoenix Gate] from Goliath. And ''then'' it turns out that it may or may not have been a dream. And ''then'' it turns out that Goliath is a woman! * cue fan art of female!Goliath* Okay, that didn't happen, but you get the idea!"
** Some creative editing makes it appear that in the pilot, Elisa goes over the side of the roof ''again'' after Goliath carries her back up and Bronx surprises her.
** His joke about how Lexington should have been named "Queens" serves as being HilariousInHindsight when one learns that [[WordOfGay Lexington was indeed gay.]]
** '''Goliath:''' "Those of your kind call me Goliath."
--->'''Critic:''' "... But my friends call me......... '''Go'''."
** And, of course, his setting part of Goliath's dialogue to '70s porno music, stating that his wife must have married him ''just'' for the voice.
* From HowardTheDuck:
-->'''Guy In Movie #1''': Dat's a duck!
-->'''Guy In Movie #2''': What is dat?
-->'''Guy In Movie #1''': Dat's a duck, man!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': (points to screen) Dat's a duck! (points to tie) Dat's a tie! (points to desk) Dat's a desk! (holds up copy of movie) Dat's a dupid, dupid movie!
** Hadouken!
** "[[DuckTales Ducktits]]...[[EarWorm A-WHEE-OOO!]]"
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': What creepy pervert thought that up?! (image of GeorgeLucas flashes)
** "My god, he's transformed into [[GIJoe Cobra Commander]]!"
* And from the SpaceJam review:
-->''Okay, alright. Let me make one thing perfectly clear to all you Warner Brothers representatives out there: '''We don't want to fuck bunnies.''' I can't believe I have to say this: We don't want to fuck bunnies. I mean, we're people; therefore we like to fuck other people. I'm sure there's some small percentage of poeple out there that like to fuck bunnies, but that hardly seems like a very profitable demographic.''
** "I mean, has there ever been a time where you honestly had the hots for a bunny. (Image of two PlayBoy bunnies appear) THAT DOESN'T COUNT!"
** The Nostalgia Critic wondering what it means regarding cartoon anatomy considering Lola has "bunny boobies".
-->''[[LooneyTunes Sylvester]]'': We got balls!
-->''Nostalgia Critic'': (Disgusted) STOP! STOP!
* The {{Twister}} review:
-->'''Rabbit: "Funnel's getting thicker! It's moving to-"'''
-->'''Tornado: GRRRROOOOWWWWWOOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!'''
-->'''Critic: "Is it me, or did the tornado just roar?" (replays tornado scene) "What, were there dinosaurs in that barn?" (a Tyrannosaurus rex flies through the air, bellowing)'''
** Not to mention what happens whenever Jonas appears...
* The Critic flipping out at all the "random" cameos from ''LastActionHero.''
** ''"My butt cheeks have their own license!"''
** '''[[StuffBlowingUp "BLOW! SOMETHING! UP!"]]'''
** The "POOT DAT COOKIE DAUUUUUN!!!" remix at the end.
** Shouting, "Look, elephant!" in order to get away from people, only to trigger the Burger King RunningGag on the Critic.
** ''"ET phone lawyer!"''
* "What can you say about the {{Superman}} movies? I love all of them. Well, most of them. Well, some of them. Two of them."
* This troper doesn't think there's a line in his HunterSThompson {{expy}} review of ''WereBackADinosaursStory'' that isn't funny.
** ''"WHAT! NO! YOU'RE RAPING SPIDERMAN, YOU FUCKING DINOSAUR FASCIST! LEAVE THAT AMERICAN ICON ALONE!"''
* How about [[spoiler: Optimus Prime]] resurrecting him at the end of the SurfNinjas review ?
-->[[spoiler: '''Optimus Prime''']] : Remember, I died for your sins !
* His summation of [[CaptainNTheGameMaster Captain N]] and [[TheLegendOfZelda Link]]'s constant competing and trying to one-up the other.
-->* singing* "My cock's bigger than your cock...my cock's double the size that your is..."
** '''CAPTAIN N: THE GAY MASTER!'''
** [[MaxHeadroom "It ain't easy being g-g-g-green!"]]
** "Link! And you brought your friends for my ''coming-out party''!" * '''[[RecurringRiff DOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOOOOO!]]'''*
** "Now, [my whip's] sexual preference ''I'' can't speak for!"
** Mario as [[TheLordOfTheRings Isildur]]. "Suck my big fat meatballs!"
** And at the end
--> Critic: As for me, I'm still waiting for half the cast to turn up on ''Video Game Confessions''!
--> Dominic: OI! You really don't want to see that. It, uh, it involves Mother Brain's genatalia.
** "The ruler of the Palace is Princess Lana. Oh yeah, from the game...* ''Shrugs''* '80's Fashion Vomit'?"
** His comments on the voices of MegaMan and KidIcarus.
--> ''(as Mega Man)'' It's like if {{Popeye}} smoked an entire Marlboro factory!
--> ''(as Kid Icarus)'' My testicus haven't droppedicus.
*** The commentary also features Doug and Rob impersonating Mega Man, expressing their distaste for his voice.
* Komodo from ''WarriorsOfVirtue'' is a CMOF all by himself, but the Critic declaring him the missing LooneyTunes character really puts it over the top.
** The Linkara cameo, as well as:
--> Oh no, he's in ''{{Ferngully}}''! * screams*
** "The kitchen is on fire! Stop telling the kid the stupid story and help us!" Somehow, offscreen voices in Chinese restaurants are always comedy gold on this site.
** [[TheVentureBrothers "The Monarch is not pleased."]]
--> Ryan: Houston, we have a problem.
--> Critic: And [[WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire that's my final answer]] because [[{{Titanic}} my heart will always go on]] right after I [[WillSmith get Jiggy with it]].
** " Oh, Dance time." * cue music*
** "By all your powers combined, I am CaptainPlanet!"
** "I'm trying to do every Johnny Depp performance I've ever seen...."
*** [[HypocriticalHumor Particularly funny]] considering his previous review was an impersonation of Depp impersonating Hunter S. Thompson.
** "Now allow me to continue SHOUTING AT RANDOM!!!"
** "IT WAS A LIFE!"
* The CaptainAmerica review: On how the Critic plays out the ''Series/{{Batman}}'' LemonyNarrator describing the peril of Cap.
** The entire section about the "Psyche-Hitler".
** "I just decapitated a hot chick! Truly, I ''am'' the great American hero!"
** "Why don't we just label everything?!"
** The cover of the ''Vogue'' magazine, with the captions...
-->'''Take Our Test:''' Does he love you or will he get frozen in ice for 50 years?
-->Keep your Red Skulls their reddest
-->80 ways to turn the American flag into hideous spandex
* The Drug Cartoon Special: "You know, I thought this would be really cool, but it turns out all my favorite cartoon characters are fucking narcs!"
** "But if Bugs Bunny knows what a joint is, that means Bugs Bunny knows what drugs are! And if Bugs Bunny knows what drugs are, then that means the rest of the LooneyTunes know what drugs are! And if all the LooneyTunes know what drugs are...[[CreekMoment then that JUST EXPLAINS TOO GODDAMN MUCH!]]"
* The Critic, Spoony, and Linkara acting like the Three Stooges. Enough said.
** Any time the trio (or at least Spoony and Linkara) break into song:
-->[To tune of StarWars] '''Booooooor-ing, this is so booooor-ing~! This is so booooor-ing~! Get to the shooooooow~!'''
-->'''Padding-padding-pad-''ding!'' Padding-padding-pad-''ding!'' Padding-padding-pad-''ding!'''''
** Heck, the entire review is a CMOF. Especially the "randomly shooting in the dark which includes cameo appearances by-
-->'''[[spoiler:90s Kid]]''': Dude, what's with all the flashing lights? (Is shot) Not radical (Collapses)
-->'''[[spoiler:Dr. Insano]]''': [[spoiler:I brought SCIENCE!]] (Is shot. Collapses)
-->'''[[spoiler:Ma-Ti]]''': Pizza delivery--(Is shot)--[[spoiler:HEAAART!]] (Collapses)
-->'''[[spoiler:Chester A Bum.]]''': [[spoiler:CHANGE! YA GOT CHA-]] (Is shot. Collapses.)
** Spoony making the Nostalgia Critic say [[AC:I like to wear woman's clothing]] was just hilarious.
*** Even funnier was the Critic's reaction.
** Also, Nostalgia Critic's failed attempt at impersonating [[TheLordOfTheRings Gollum]] while [[SyntheticVoiceActor using his computer to "talk"]].
*** [[AC:My precious?]]
**** "No, no, honey..."
** Linkara's introduction, particularly the deadpan Critic's response: [[AC: "Oh, Jesus. No."]]
*** The Nostalgia Signal.
*** [[AC: "Why did I install that?"]]
** [[ThisIsSPARTA You're. An. Idiot.]]
** [[{{Ghostbusters}} "Zuu-AH!]] [[CurseCutShort Motherfu-AH!]] Zu-AH! You a-hole!"
** [[AC:[[RunningGag Why the hell was I in]] [[StarTrekVITheUndiscoveredCountry Star Trek 6]]?]]
* The ''Blank Check'' review has the Critic repeatedly, ahem, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean bumping]] the bottom of his desk whenever the movie's resident hot woman appears. Later, during the scene where she ends up running through a fountain and getting soaking wet, he snatches up a hammer and starts pounding the, er, little Critic back down.
* The end of his Old vs New, CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory review, where [[spoiler: the annoying EarWorm from the newest adaptation plays, and when the Critic yells for something else, first "It's A Small World", then the DuckTales theme song, and finally the {{Doug}} theme song play. Quoting "[[LooneyTunes Duck Amuck]]," the Critic angrily insists that the person messing with the sound show himself, at which point the camera pans out and we find Douchey Mc Nitpick pulling the strings.]]
** From the same video, his kindergarten drawing of what a monster from the original novel looks like: [[spoiler: [[NightmareFuelColoringBook a giant monster with the heads of his parents ripping the Critic in half.]]]] The Critic's response? [[spoiler: [[{{Understatement}} I had issues.]]]]
* On the Top 11 Drug [[PublicServiceAnnouncement PSAs]], the Critic imagines how the scene of the boy telling off his drug-using father continues: either the father flips out and beats him up, or it becomes a heartwarming bonding moment. "I've taught you well, son!"
** Although the Critic has nothing to do with it, "this is cwack" is comedy gold.
* The Critic's review of ''Cool As Ice'' starts off with him simply laughing uncontrollably at the movie to the point where he can't even say his CatchPhrase, and just gets funnier from there, especially when he keeps making fun of Vanilla Ice's ridiculous outfits and dance moves.
-->''"There's His Whiteness! ....why does he have a Post-It Note on the side of his head?"''
-->''"It's the latest dance moves! ....the Raggedy Ann Seizure."''
-->''"Look at his hair! It's like a level from SuperMarioBros.!"''
-->''"The spatula on my head approves of this situation."''
-->''"So we see the human crossword puzzle crossing the street...."''
-->''"Dig those dance steps. I think they call that the "Two-Year-Old Who Has To Pee" move."''
-->''"You like my shorts? I got 'em from the Hamburglar."''
-->''"This looks like a job for Chewed-up Black Condom Man!"''
** Not to mention some of the greatest and lamest puns ''ever.''
--->''"Wow. [[IncrediblyLamePun What an icehole.]]"''
--->''"Ah, the Zen of Ice. (Pause) Zice..."''
** And the White-O-Meter, which tops out at "Conan O'Brien" and "Invisible."
** There's also the whole 'fast-forwarding' through the house scene, which the Critic calls 'A demented version of the cleaning-the-room scene from ''{{Mary Poppins}}''.' And this line...
-->''"Oh yeah Kat, words of wisdom. Drop dat zero, and get with the hero." "Yeah, got that off [[{{Hercules}} The Disney Channel]]."''
** Oh, and the '[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything interesting]]' dance moves used at the end.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Aw, no no no no nononononono! That's like three pages of the Kama Sutra!
** When Ice saves Cathy, and later when he battles the thugs, NC parodies the 60's Batman music:
-->'''Singers:''' Iceman!
** [[BritishStuffiness "Oh, those horrid rapscallions!"]]
** ''Go dumbass, go dumbass, go! Go dumbass, go dumbass, go!''
** The sequence where the movie constantly shift between Ice talking to Cathy, and the two "frolicking", to NC's annoyance, When he demands the movie to pick a scene and stick with it, we get... frolicking with talking voiceover.
--> '''NC''': [[VisibleSilence ...]]
* Four words: "[[SuburbanCommando I was frozen today!]]"
** The NC combining three of his running gags together to form BigLippedAlligatorMoment-Elephant-ChuckNorris.
** His deadpan reaction to the villain losing his hand because of a flying envelope is also hilarious.
** [[StarWars Rip-off/This is a rip-off/This is a rip-off/Are you kidding??]]
** His reaction to Shelley Duvall trying to seduce Christopher Lloyd.
--> "God, it looks like a mix between {{Cher}} and TheIncredibleMrLimpet."
* Review of ''Film/MortalKombat Annihilation'': the part with Cyrax, the Lin-Kuei yellow combat robot- or, as Nostalgia Critic puts it "A lost G.I. Joe action figure."
-->''I COME FREE WITH EVERY HAPPY MEAL!'' ''BEHOLD MY ACCESSORIES! THEY ARE ALL SOLD SEPARATELY!'' ''BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, MOTHERFUCKER!'' ''THIS IS NOT COVERED BY MY WARRANTY!''
** "....Also, the Fuck Ball and Sindel's Wonder Woman twirl complete with theme song and his confusion of the Sub-Zero brothers. Don't forget the fight between Sonya (not Sonya) and Mileena (aka "You Wish.")
** [[EdWood Pull the string! Pull the string!]]
** "When visitng Six Flags, be sure to ride the Fuck Ball! Hours of uncomfortable, unpractial, and all around unenjoyable fun! It's like the Tunnel of Love - only it's a Fuck Ball! Must be at least this perverted to ride!"
* The Next KarateKid: : "Cockroach killer." "Whore." "Slut." "I do not know you."
** '''[[MortalKombat MIYAGI WINS. BLOWALITY]].'''
** This part always makes this troper LOL:
-->'''Julie''': "My name is ''Julie''! My ''mother's'' name was Susan! She was killed in a car accident with my father, and they're both ''dead''!"
-->'''[[SpaceBalls Dark Helmet]]''': * turns to the audience* "Everybody got that?"
* From "{{Casper}}": "'cus this is filler, filling up the time..."
** The end of the review , in which the critic, dressed as a Ghostbuster, chases Casper right into [[http://www.mtac.net/gmx/ GMX]] (with him getting a whole panel room involved in his chase while also running into a Chester A. Bum cosplayer).
*** Bonus points to the Harley Quinn cosplayer who makes good use of her mallet, including providing the perfect ending. "Clear!"
**** Not to mention when he runs into a Chester A. Bum cosplayer:
-->'''NC:''' Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?
-->'''Cosplayer:''' (pause) CHANGE!
** "TIMING!"
** "Oh, not that late." "I already had an abortion." Casper's facial reaction was priceless and then of course: "Okay that was a little disturbing" "WOW!" "Just a little dark humor, I mean it's nothing about--" "WOW!" "Alright let's just move on!" "...you sicken me."
** The DVD shows the raw footage of the Casper chase which continues running as Doug returns to his hotel room and plays up his removing the costume as stripping. On the commentary, Doug suddenly realizes that someone is probably masturbating to the scene, maybe even with the commentary on. "I hope it's a woman, but let's face it, it's probably a man."
* His review of Superman IV teaming up with Linkara is such a CMOF that shames many, even most of the previous entries in this list.
** Just to mention one joke and let WikiMagic do the rest:
-->'''NC:''' ...[The movie has] mediocre special effects that you're more likely to see in one of Linkara's videos!
-->'''Linkara:''' HEY!
-->'''NC:''' Get over it, you comic geek, your special effects suck!
-->'''Linkara:''' "Bat-Credit card".
-->'''NC:''': A BAT CREDIT CARD!? [Rage breakdown and gunshots]
-->'''Linkara:''' (smiling) He's The Nostalgia Critic, he remembers it so you don't have to.
** This troper had never understood why so many considered "Bat-credit card" to be the Critic's BerserkButton, as the joke had only appeared in one video. Lo and behold, the joke's second appearance doesn't disappoint.
*** Linkara's reaction to BigLippedAlligatorMoment is nothing short of priceless.
** The opening with Linkara doing NC's lines, and NC finding out.
** "It's time to play ''International Politics''!"
---->'''Linkara''': Alright, Nostalgia Critic! You're Israel, a country surrounded on all sides by enemies who would happily see you wiped off the map! However, the only thing keeping them at bay is your nuclear arsenal! Now Superman comes in and says he's gonna take that arsenal away! What do you do???
---->'''NC''': Um, tell him to hump my ass?
---->'''Linkara''': Oh, I'm sorry, Critic, the correct answer was "applaud wildly"!
---->'''NC''': Dammit!
---->'''Linkara''': Next question, and this one's for the game! You're the Soviet Union. You're engaged in a ColdWar against the United States, and the fear of mutually assured destruction via nuclear weapons is the only thing that keeps you and the US from engaging in combat with conventional weapons! Suddenly, Superman comes along and says he's gonna take away all your nuclear weapons! What do you do?
---->'''NC''': Ooh, I know! I know! Applaud wildly!
---->'''Linkara''': That is correct! You won the grand prize, Critic! You get to continue watching this crap!
---->'''NC''': Dammit!
** Then there's his use of the ''Super Mario Bros. 3'' "falling from airship" music to accompany Superman and Nuclear Man falling through the clouds.
** Any of the movie's lame attempts at comic relief actually do manage to become hilarious in this review. Clark Kent "goofily" working out is perfectly accented by Linkara's "It's time for some COMEDY!...Wasn't there an impending nuclear war?", and the scene where Supes needs to be in two places at once is underscored by "The Entertainer" and topped off with Critic's goofy face and arm motions.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What are we reviewing again?
--->''"Superman IV: The Quest for Peace" appears on-screen''
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Aw, ''fuckdonkeys!''
** NC's reaction to Jeremy's voice:
--->'''Jeremy''': I'll tell you who we should write a letter to that would do some good!
--->'''NC''': Muthafucka!
* [[RefugeInAudacity Tickle Me Amy]].
** "Hungry Hungry Hippos! Hungry Hungry Hippos!"
** The NC's impersonation of TimCurry's bad accent in the film.
-->''"The diamonds are here!"''
-->"And queer! And not going any-weer!"
->"No, n-(starts retching) Sorry, I'm just vomiting up my tuna sandwich!"
** Likewise, using a LaughTrack whenever TimCurry speaks in the movie.
** And the line used as TheStinger: [[ThisIsSPARTA STOP! EA-ting my SESAME! CAKE!]]
-->'''Three Wild Gorillas''': ({{Beat}}) (deadpan) Whatever.
-->'''First Gorilla''': That was strange.
-->'''Second Gorilla''': What the hell was she talking about?
-->'''Third Gorilla''': Weird Power Glove wearing freak.
** "[[JustAStupidAccent My accent]] just orgasms at it!"
** The awesome parody of the opening from ''The Lion King":
-->''Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! This movie sucks! You should get a refund! Go see Toy Story next time. It's in the theater next door.''
* In 'The Top 11 Nostalgic Mindfucks', the Critic saying "Yes.", with two other Critics then leaning onscreen and also going "Yes."
** "Well, if it isn't Mr. Puppy! Hello, Mr. PuppyOH MY GOD, A GORILLA!!" ''GRRRAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRR!!''
** His little kid reactions to "Halloween is Grinch Night" and "Pink Elephants on Parade".
--->* wide-eyed stare* "I just wet myself."
--->* confused expressions* "I'm not pissing myself with fear... but why?"
** [[BeavisAndButthead "The best damn hallucination EVER!"]] * rocks out with Satan horns*
* In multiple reviews whenever an adult seems to be doing something unsavory with a minor a red alert siren will go off with several lines of flashing text warning against it. Used three times with ''Kazaam''.
* From his tribute to Siskel And Ebert-"Why would you think that?"
** "So, besides me, what do you think of when you hear the word ''critic''. (Image of the AngryVideoGameNerd shows up) "NO! Get that picture out of here!"
*** The third answer to that question, which makes him stare at the viewer with an expression of "What the hell is wrong with you?"
** Blink and you'll miss it, but the list of religion's he's prejiduced against include "Whatever religion the Oompa Loompas practice."
** Mah-Ti at the hospital. That is all.
-->'''N.C:''' ''So hey, why are you in the hospital, anyway?''
-->'''Mah-Ti:''' ''I'm removing my balls. I am now a literal pussy!''
-->'''N.C:''' ''Oh, it's not like-''
-->'''Mah-Ti:''' '' '''PUSSY'''!''
* ''DoubleDragon'': "This is like waterboarding by {{Popeye}}!"
** And when he complains that the {{Mook}}s' designs are so random and {{Narm}}-y that he wouldn't be surprised if MickeyMouse suddenly appeared amidst them...
-->'''MickeyMouse:''' ''Ha-ha! Aim for the jugular!''
*** "...Did the music just belch?"
** His completely justified rant when he sees the Double Dragon arcade game in the background.
** "And to your right, you'll see a shitty movie being made."
* The Dredd blow dance.
** "And now, since I'm unbelievably immature, the JudgeDredd Blow Dance."
** The multi-function gun. "Armor piercing. Double-barrel. Back massage. Lounge music (Music plays)."
*** "[[PressYourLuck Double Whammy]]."
** "Well, I can't turn back now, that was ''way'' too good of an exit. ... I guess I'll just stay here for a while. ... Damn it, I forgot my iPod. ... 100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer..."
** The NC pointing out how no one can seem to pronounce [[strike:the law]] The LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
*** Which, of course, accumulates to the point where the NC sings the word [[strike:law]] LAAAAAAAAAAAW over and over again to the tune of the Can-Can. Complete with Judge Dredd kick-line.
*** Judge Dredd: The Musical
*** Nothing for the metaphorical-turned-literal CatFight?
* "O-okay, [[TankGirl this movie]] just went up a notch. Or... at least... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean SOMETHING]] went up a notch." And "NOOO!!! NOT THE YAK!!! IT WAS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER!!!" * cue Yakkity Yak*
** Also this:
--> '''TankGirl's Producer:''' ''Alright Ice-T, I know you got a lot of projects in the works, but just listen to this movie role.''
--> '''Ice-T:''' ''Yeah, okay.''
--> '''Producer:''' ''* Long pause* ... You're a kangaroo-''
--> '''Ice-T:''' '''FUCK YEAH!!!'''
** "NOW BRING ME SOMETHING ELSE TO SMASH!!!" * throws glass on the floor*
** [[SoylentGreen "AQUAFINA IS PEEEEEEOPLE!!"]]
** "Ohhh, my [[AClockworkOrange Clockwork Oranges]]!"
** [[RenAndStimpy "Happy Happy, Joy Joy! Happy Happy, Joy Joy!"]]
* "Top 11 Nostalgic F* ckups":
--> '''Critic''': [[StrawFan Douchy]]! Where'd you get that?!
--> '''Douchy [=McNitpick=]''': From my deepest hatred of you! I also have a picture of you kissing Devine and dancing the can-can with Hitler! Look, everyone, he's dancing the can-can with Hitler!
** "I've watched every single one of your videos 37 times and discovered a shitload of mistakes that you should be hanged for! HANGED FOR!"
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' So, every once in a while, I make one or two little mistakes...
--->'''Douchy:''' 35,670 to be exact!
** "If I can't trust an Internet celebrity who watches cartoons and shouts obscenities, who ''can'' I trust?!"
* From his review of JackFrost-"Chained-Up-Superman-Wearing-Batman's-Mask!"
** The "hard rock" version of ''I'm A Little Teapot''.
** NC editing a scene into the mother telling Jack all the affairs she had, complete with scare chord.
** "I'm the Nostalgia Christmas. I Christmas so Christmas Christmas. [[BeatPanel * beat* ]] CHRISTMAS!!!"
* From the ''HeMan and SheRa Christmas Special-"Those big [[{{Transformers}} TRANSFORMING]] robots are [[{{Transformers}} TRANSFORMING]] into something evil! I think they're called CareBears!"
** The NC's surprise over how the unicorn sounds.
** "Yeah, maybe you could find a cell phone...maybe call someone who can come up here and rescue us. Oh, by the way....WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"
** The "Gay Jokes I Could Have Made" counter
*** He breaks his moratorium on gay jokes briefly to point out how phallic one of the vehicles looks, wondering how it could possibly have been accidental. This is followed shortly by a giant metal hand grasping it. Tightly.
** Him imitating Orko during the end of the special.
** "Christmastime?! I'm JEWISH! I get eight candles, a dreidle and a new pair of slacks every year, I'll be as fucking grouchy as I please, you little Hitler Youths!"
** The Critic pointing out that no one seems to notice or care about the {{Transformation Sequence}}.
-->'''He-Man:''' Hey sis. I have the power.
-->[...]
-->'''Critic:''' I love how the transformations aren't a big deal anymore. She could be doing the dishes, and be like "Oh hey, He-Man, when you get a chance could you-" * ''Offscreen''* "'''''I HAVE THE POWER!'''''" "-Oh, okay nevermind."
** "Who are your friends? I'm the gay son of Casey Kasem and Jerry Seinfeld. Nyeaaah."
** The Critic [[MyNameIsNotDurwood misconstruing Hordak's name]]
** "Just look at Skeletor's face. Clearly, not even he can understand Horde Prime"
*** (As Skeletor) "You need to enunciate! I have no lips, and even I can enunciate!"
** "* imitating SwiftWind* ''"OH, GOD! Every time this happens, I feel ''unbelievable'' pain! God, I hate sprouting these wings! Aaaaah, sweet Jesus, it hurts!"''
** * After She-Ra's horse talks in an incredible raspy and deep voice* What girl wants their unicorn to talk like "Hey She-Ra! Let's go fight some evil doers! Maybe we can stop by the cigar store on the way there!"
** An archer being frozen with the "I WAS FROZEN TODAY" sound clip
* The top 11 next best christmas specials. Two words; DieHard.
** More specifically, five words; Fuck you, it's DieHard.
** His reaction to recieving the Star Wars Holiday Special.
** Also, "Bitch, you pregnant! Bye!!"
* At the beginning of the JingleAllTheWay review, he mentions that the kid is played by Jake Lloyd.
-->Jake Lloyd... hmm... now, where do I know that name?\\
* ScareChord as a poster for ThePhantomMenace zooms in on Anakin's face* \\
[[GoMadFromTheRevelation oh-ah-AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!]] * [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere runs off]], glass shatters* \\
* thump* My ''god'', what a tall building!
* TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial is chock full of these:
** [[CatchPhrase "Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it]] -- ''([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere gets up, tries to make a break for it]])''
** "There goes my ability to control my bowels. Yup, I'm stupid now...don't care anymore."
** Santa Christ!
** Wookiee Christmas Carols...'nuff said.
** Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine discussing the need to close down Bea Arthur's bar on Tatooine.
** The Critic's horrified reaction to the "Grandpa Wookiee" watching some strange holographic video.
*** "[[ADateWithRosiePalms Why can't we see Grandpa's hands!?]]"
** "Ve hear you've been hiding Jewish Evoks"
** "Well that just perms my hair."
** "Santa Christ, Santa Christ. We all love Santa Christ!"
*** "He played bass for Aerosmith! Reads to sick orphans, too! He goes surfing in space and makes really good fondue!"
** All the wookie growling making his ears bleed.
** The Critic being baffled at a Stormtrooper tripping over his own gun: "Imagine someone like this in a real combat situation. ''Oh look, some rebels!'' " * takes out gun pointing it upwards, mistakenly shoots himself in the head and falls over*
** The commentary by Doug and Rob has some, too. E.g. the Wookie version of the BradyBunch theme song.
** "They show you every. Single. Solitary. '''''[[ThisIsSparta STEP!!!]]'''''"
* ''Ernest Saves Christmas''
** ''Santa Claus in Dr. Ho''
** "M, V, M, V, M, V, M, V..." * cuts to Clip of Star Wars Holiday Special* "Stir, whip, stir, whip, stir, stir... "NO! NO! WE'RE NOT GOING BACK TO THAT!"
** Any line making Douglas Seale the most badass Santa ever. "It's time to open a can!"
*** "Whassup, my niggaz?"
** The CrazyTaxi gag. 'Nuff said.
*** 100 Mugging Points!
** Earnest in Santa's sled crashing into Superman. "That's one messy Christmas."
** The RunningGag involving Santa's...erm...sack.
*** "QUIT CALLING IT THAT!"
** "'''''Aw great''''', ya blew up the......Santa Pun-O-Meter? Why do I have one of those?"
** "Call the police!"
** "Ernest, YouNeedToGetLaid."
** "You Missed! But you can still get [[TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack Skellington]]."
** The RunningGag about Santa's list
--> Santa: I had a list of names. There were several hundred, but for one reason or another, they were eliminated until you were the only one left
--> NC: Oh no, I think Santa has mob connections. (As Santa) I broke their merry thumbs and shoved them down the yuletide elevator shaft. Don't make me do that to you, Joe
** [[TheWizardOfOz "We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild..."]]
*** "We're here to shoot a DavidLynch film!"
** The Christmas Slay routine.
--> Santa: Joe, I thought this motion picture was called Christmas Sleigh?
--> Director: S-L-A-Y. It's about an alien from outer space.
--> NC: It's made by UweBoll? ''[Santa punches the director]'' Yeah, I'd hit someone who works for Uwe Boll, too.
* His review of ''{{Commando}}'' is chock full of these.
** "This message will self-destruct in one second." "Huh?" * BOOM!*
** "OOOOHOHOHOHO, YOU GOT ICE CREAM ON MY FACE! OHOHO, WHAT A SPECTACLE! IT'S STILL ON MY FACE! I SHALL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER, AS ''''''ICE CREAM DAAAAAAAAAAAY!''''''"
** Doug [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] how [[ArnoldSchwarzenegger Arnold]] is a [[BoringInvincibleHero Boring Invincible Hero]].
** Doug wildly firing his gun in random directions and still somehow hitting the random mooks from the film.
*** Was anybody reminded of [[http://gigaville.com/comic.php?id=267 this?]]
**** Actually, I was reminded of [[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/to-the-best-of-my-abillity-preserve-protect-and-defend this]].
** The entire opening sequence, which plasters Doug's wonderful mug over various posters from other Ah-nold movies, all set to the StupidStatementDanceMix of "Put That Cookie Down".
** "''Oh yeah. You like watching two people doin' it while Arnold Schwarzenegger and some random black guy are fighting in the background? Our research says that at least 1% of the population does. That's why we're presenting 'Some Like It Rough'. Because we know [[RuleThirtySix somebody gets off on this]].''"
** "Okay, this is just a competition of who can make the sillier face now!"
** [[PeterPan "Captain... No 'splash'!"]]
** Arnold: "You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. That's why I'm gonna kill you last." '''''[[CSIMiami YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!]]'''''
** '''YOU HAVE TO CALL COLLEEEEECT! IT WILL SAVE YOU MONEY AND IS SO MUCH CHEAPER FOR THE OTHER CALLER!'''
** "Hey Sully, remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied."
*** ''Holy shit that was AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....!''
** "This is starting to look more like a ''Jackass'' stunt"
** "Dude! Do you know how much preparation I had to put into that set up? You're a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking asshole]]!"
** His cracks about the soundtrack.
** 'Hello, this is your captain speaking, asking for you to put your seats in the upright positions. We also ask you to NOT knock the person sitting beside you out, and then snap their neck, tucking them in and making them look as though they're sleeping. Thank you.'
** The "Arnold!" song. No, not the "[[StupidStatementDanceMix Put that cookie DAUN]]!" one.
** The mighty Arnold montage, in which everything is thrown at him, from the German plane in ''IndianaJones and the Last Crusade'', to the [[TheLordOfTheRings Mûmakil]], to the [[StarWars Death Star's]] [[EarthShatteringKaboom superlaser]].
** [[MontyPython "Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay/I sleep all night, and apparently I wear women's clothing. Ya."]]
** "But luckily the flight attendant is here to return your seats and tray tables to their upright--'''KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!'''" * KABOOM!*
* From his review of ''Junior'': His reaction to the freaky Ahnold baby.
** Also, the Critic getting his own BigLippedAlligatorMoment.
*** In which he throws in a picture of [[GossipGirl Chuck Bass]].
** Hey kids, let's play "find the joke", with Dora the Explorer!
** And, of course, ''the reasons why men couldn't get pregnant''. Of course, there are those nasty morals and the body thing, what with men not having ''vaginas'', for instance, but it's just the top of the iceberg. [[spoiler:"There'd be a lot more complaining", "if a baby kicks, the man would probably kick back" and "our solution to losing the baby weight would be "losing the baby"" are my personal favourites.]]
*** Full list - It's morally insane. Men don't have vaginas. Men don't have uteruses. You'd be playing genetic Monopoly. No man would volunteer unless doing it for a movie role. There'd be a lot more complaining. Abortions would skyrocket. EVERY child would be left behind. Men would never take care of themselves properly. A man could get pregnant just by jerking off (I think). Jesus would cry. God knows what kind of mutations would arise. This would probably be some form of incest. Every man would have his tubes tied. If a baby kicks, the man would probably kick back. No man is going through a friggin' C-section. Men are horrible at throwing baby showers. No man could resist alcohol during pregnancy. In fact, they'd probably drink more. No man is wearing a mumu [sic]. We'd just look silly. Our solution to losing the baby weight would be "Losing the baby." No man would ever have sex again if they knew a baby was coming out of it - excuse me -out of THEM! Men have no practice. Men have no patience. Men have no...just fuck it, we're not doing it!
* His ''ConanTheBarbarian'' Review.
** "Oh, no, she's pulling me into ''[[{{Film/Avatar}} Avatar]]''! The visuals will be stunning, but the story will be absolute bullshit!"
** "Guys, I told you to watch the place while I was a snake! Can't a guy just be a snake for five minutes without something going wrong?"
** "Well, gee, when you put it like that...FUCK YOU!"
** His impersonation of Mako at the beginning of the review, that is all.
*** Complete with him rushing to do the "worshipping Mako" pose from the ''Sidekicks'' review as soon as he mentions the name.
** "[[DeadBabyComedy Conan The]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice Cummer...]][[{{Squick}} Eww.]]"
** "Ooh! I'd like to ask her for directions!"
** "Forgive them, Crom. They know not what they do."
** After the whole "Asking directions bit", his reaction to the woman disppearing.
*** "...Kay."
** His reaction to James Earl Jones turning into a snake. His lack of emotion makes it even better.
--> "....Well that's just silly."
** [[WheelOfFortune Wheel! Of! Torture!]]
** "Push wheel? Look, all I understand is wheels. Please, do you have a wheel? May I push it?"
*** On that note:
---> "Thank you, Sir. May I have a wheel now?"
--->"Will you shut up about the wheel!"
** When James pulls a woman of a cliff using magic, [[{{Disney}} Goofy]] screams. Even if you don't know where it's from, it's still hilarious.
--> YAAH-HO-HO-HWEEE!
** When Conan is ordered to be crucified, it cuts away to [[BlazingSaddles Hedley Lamar]] dismissing the idea as "Too Jewish."
* From ''Conan The Destroyer'':
** "It sucks BALLS! Let's watch it..."
** "Hail, Conan of Nazareth!"
** "Hehehehehe! They got me because Rob Schneider was off making worse movies, a-hehehehehehehe!!"
** "Who said I was a woman?"
** "How do you attract a man?" "I spear him, gut him, then wear him."
** DOUCHE
** Sex Talk with Weasley Guy
** Regarding the monster at the end...
--> NC: It looks like a Rankin-Bass stop motion puppet that was shat out by Swamp Thing
** Similarly...
--> Boy, I feel a little weird saying this, but Conan is literally fighting a one-eyed, one-horned giant purple people eater. And you know what? It sure looks strange to me.
** The brief shot of the poster for ''[[Film/AlvinandtheChipmunks Alvin and the Chipmunks]]'' during the scene where Mako's character uses his magic to have the leader of Dagoth worshippers see the thing he fears the most.
** "The God of Nonchalantness..."
* ''EndOfDays'':
** Chester A. Bum as a priest.
** The [[AliceInWonderland Mad Tea Party]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext scene]].
** [[CatScare CAAAAAT!]]
** [[{{Pinocchio}} "I got no strings, to hold me down...."]]
*** "Deh ah no strings on MEEEE!!!"
** As Arnold goes trough the bum priest's RoomFullOfCrazy with crosses scribbled on the walls:
--> '''Critic''': "Looks like Mel Gibson's house."
** "NOBODY EXPECTS THE [[MontyPython SPANISH INQUISITION!]]"
** The return of [[spoiler: Santa Christ!]]
*** Who is [[spoiler: ''also'' afraid of the CAAAAT!]]
** "3-1-20".
** His name for the 'drink'.
-->'''Critic:''' Big deal. Who hasn't has a Coffee-Beer-Pepto-Bismol-Chinese-Food-And-Pizza Slurpie. Or as I like to call it...Cbpbcfps.
** This exchange...
-->'''Marge Francis:''' The guy doesn't have a tongue.
-->'''Critic:''' (imitating Arnold) NEITHER DO I, BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM SPEAKING, AGHAGHAGHAGH!!!
** And this one...
-->Kevin Pollak: Hey Arnold, say it.
-->Schwarzenegger: No
-->Kevin Pollak: Come on, just say it!
-->Schwarzenegger: No.
-->Kevin Pollak: I'll pay you 50 bucks if you say it.
-->Schwarzenegger: (sighs) [[{{Predator}} Get to the choppa]].
-->Kevin Pollak: Haha, you just made me splooge.
** "Alright, who crucified the patient?" * points offscreen* "Mark?"
** "Christine, please tell your mommy to stop beating me up! It hurts!"
* ''Battlefield Earth'': the 100th episode.
** His attempt to do a clip show; the clip he uses rebels against him.
** Ma-Ti's conversation with Present Critic:
--> Yes... a movie so bad, it makes my nipples tingle with fear!
** Not to mention his over the top presentation of the movie:
--> [[LargeHam BATTLEFIELD EARRRRRRRRRRRRTH]]!
** Spoony the Psychlo.
** Critic has such an epic lapse in sanity from the sheer stupidity of this movie, that the camera has to [[{{Undercrank}} speed up]] just to contain all his kicking and screaming.
*** After that breakdown, he realizes that perhaps he has been attacking the movie from the wrong angle. He then proceeds to beat himself with a hammer, though a rather amusing picture [[ScreamDiscretionShot hides the actual beating.]] The result? "Dulhulhul...I like spaceships."
*** And for anyone who was wondering just what exactly was being said in the rant, here it is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RaunITmY7s slowed down]]
** Him mocking the angle shots--by having a ''him'' in an angle shot, trying to prevent himself from slipping. And then promptly failing.
** After [[spoiler:Planet Psychlo explodes, cut to Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers pushing Marvin the Martian off the tiny remains of the planet. "Thisph planet ain't big enough for the two of usph. Tpho, off you go!" * shove* ]]
*** In that same vein, the Yosemite Sam clip earlier on: "Gold, GOLD, GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD!!!"
** NC's crosseyed facial expression during the "REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA-..."-scene. (at the 10:15 mark).
** "Oh fuck you, Roger Christian, whoever the fuck you are!"
** "So we cut back to Johnny's village..." "Riiii-co-la!"
** "Yes we can!" (cut to clip of BarackObama) "[[ThisIsSparta Yes! We! Can!]]"
** "Psychlo... really? C'mon, this is sounding like second-grade FanFiction. (* high voice* ) 'They LIVE on the planet PSYCHLO, where the '''EVIL''' Meanosaurus and the '''NASTY''' Bandamagoo eat up ALL the [[CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Oompah-Loompahs]].'"
** The Critic's conversations with [[spoiler: Terl]]:
*** "[[ThatMakesMeFeelAngry I'm REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY ANGRY]]!"
*** "Listen, you're probably figuring out by now that we Psychlos are not very smart. In fact, the only reason we're able to take over any galaxies at all is that we [[spoiler: ''fart'' nuclear bombs out of our anuses]]." "Oh. So, none of this has to do with strategic planning or superior intellect?" "Nope, it's just [[spoiler: ''FARTING'' BOMBS]]! HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
*** In his commentary for the episode, Doug says that editing Spoony's scenes was really hard because he couldn't stop laughing at the performance.
* [[GagSub His take on]] [[MemeticMutation the infamous rant]] from {{Downfall}}... [[spoiler:as a subtle announcement of a review of BebesKids.]]
* [[JingleAllTheWay STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE, STAY AWAY FROM MY COOKIES, AND STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE'S COOKIES! OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!]] '''[[SkywardScream COOOOOOOOKIIIIIIEEEEEESSSS!!!]]'''
* ''Bebe's Kids:'' The Critic, Linkara, Benzaie, Angry Joe and Phelous all trying to pronounce Tone Loc's name (with the Critic being able to sneak a Bugs Bunny reference at the end by also questioning the pronunciation of Hansel) .
*** ''GET ON WITH IT!!''
** This has been another....Pointless moment!
** "So the kids find themselves in a courtroom where the Terminator is trying to decide if they're worth electrocuting to death while robotic Abraham Lincoln and Nixon ''defend their sides''...* fearfully checks box labeled "ACID"* ...Nope! The movie's just weird!"
** Mickey's cry of vengance against Bebe's kids.
---> DAMN YOU BEBE'S KIDS! THE MOUSE WILL HAVE VENGEANCE ON YOU! I WILL SEE YOU PERISH IN FLAMES! I HAVE CONNECTIONS TO THE LORD OF DARKNESS! YOUR ASS IS GRASS! THEY WON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR BODIES! I WILL STEAL YOUR SOULS, BEBE'S Kiiii''iiiiids''!
** [[TheMatrix "Mr. African...American."]]
** "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY HAVE ATTITUUUDE! AAAATITUUUUUDE!"
** "Well in the 80s and early 90s, especially in confused animated movies, they would have a music video. They served absolutely no purpose and--" * upon seeing a close-up of [[BabyGotBack Jamika's ass]]* "--DAAAMN! Oh, um...they served absolutely no purpose..."
** "Yeah, where's the sign that says 'No bEVIS No [=VIbES=]'?"
** "'''[[{{Roots}} YOUR NAME IS OB!]]'''" (crack!) "Winthrop."
** "You know, I think that's how Robin would react if someone asked him about his movie. 'DID ''YOU'' MAKE THIS?!' 'No, no no, no! It was Bebe's kids!'"
** "What is this? North Korea?!"
** [[AC:"I did not consider the ramifications of a well-put-together rap. I deem this... ''fly''."]]
* ''Lost in Space:''
** Regarding Blarp: "It looks like Jar Jar Binks' aborted fetus."
*** "Is that really the best design they could come up with? A half-chewed Mickey Mouse eraser?"
** The Critic proving that he doesn't need the Wah-Wah machine by giving his own after many of the lame jokes: [[ThisIsSparta "WAH! WAH! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!"]]
** Gary "I'm Firing My Agent" Oldman.
** "I love you wife. =/"
*** "Uh, my heart soars every time! The monotone, the absolute lack of human feeling, the way he doesn't even refer to her by her name, just the role of 'wife'! I ''swoon'' every time!"
** "Eat peace!"
** After hearing Penny's voice and declaring her [[AlvinAndTheChipmunks the missing Chipette]], "Skankie", her voice raises progressively in speed and pitch, until: * BANG* "Eh, I didn't need those eardrums anyway."
** The entire bit with Dr. Smith, especially ''this:''
--> '''Dr. Smith:''' Wait! There's one more important thing! It's imperative that you must know!
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' What? What!?
--> '''Dr. Smith:''' [[spoiler: Spiiiiders!]]
* [[BadBadActing Be king undisputed]], [[TheLionKing respected]], [[VillainSong salu]]... [[DisneyAcidSequence How am I gonna get down from here?]]
** [[EvenTheGuysWantHim "God I'd go gay for that voice."]]
** His despairing reaction to the QuestForCamelot musical number.
** "It's like [[PeeweesPlayhouse Peewee's]]... '''''Earth'''''." Just the way he ''says'' that line is hilarious.
** "Dude, you're on a ''MOUNTAIN OF EVIL'', HOW ABOUT SOME OOMPH IN YOUR VOICE?"
** "Hah-hah, I'll see you in eternal damnation, hah-hah!"
* QuestForCamelot
** His FreakOut moments that cause him to trigger ''two'' town-sized explosions out of anger.
** On the same note, his constant requests for the movie to explain things; which comes to a climax by causing one of the aforementioned explosions.
--> "EXPLAIN, MOVIE! '''EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!'''"
** His imagined "The ogre's butt" recording session, accompanied by a picture of Gary Oldman looking extremely irritated.
** "It's Belle! It's fucking Belle!"
** His way-too-twitchy trigger finger and subsequent reactions at the end...[[spoiler:offing Marry Poppins, Bert, and finally Mickey.]]
*** "Oh my God! Oh my God I just killed [[spoiler: Mary Poppins]]!"
*** [[HeroicBSOD "I'm sorry!]] QuestForCamelot [[HeroicBSOD made me do it!"]]
** The knights saying things like "honor, value, courage..." mixed in with [[CaptainPlanet "Wind, water,]] [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway heart!"]] and [[MightyMorphinPowerRangers "Dragonzord, Mastodon, Pterodactyl!"]]
** "What you squeeze the horse's mane and you get a song?" Cue repeated squeezings of the said horse's mane leading up to...[[spoiler:[[EarWorm Duck Tales! Woo-Hoo!]]]]
** "Helloooo, hot character trait! Goodbyeee, hot character trait..."
** His reaction to Garrett giving in to Kayley's request to join him, with him mocking the two characters.
--> '''Kayley:''' I really want to come with you.
--> '''Garrett:''' No. (sings) Like every tree, stands on its own...
--> '''Kayley:''' Please?
--> '''Garrett:''' Oh, alright.
** "Now, I don't want to give anything away here, but.....''one'' of these guys is going to be the villain. Can you guess who?" * arrow points at KingArthur* "Wow, you're a dumbass."
** His conversation with Dr. Smith. '''All''' of it. "Does it involve spiders?"
--> '''Dr. Smith:''' Did someone question ''my subtle acting''?
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, come on, Dr. Smith, you're about as subtle as a f*** ing trainwreck...on a boat.
** The scenes with Bladebeak. "But the comedic axe chicken-- God, I can't believe I just put those words together...". Not to mention [[HeyItsThatVoice his acknowlodging the fact said comedic axe chicken is voice by Jaleel White,]] [[MemeticMutation leading to the inevitable Sonic Sez reference.]]
* The highlight of his review of ''{{Pokemon}}: The First Movie'': "Pikachu! Stop hitting yourself!"
** Also when he starts the movie:
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' '''* Sees the Kids WB! logo fly on screen* ''' Oh that's a good sign... '''* sees Nintendo logo fly on screen* ''' Oh that's even better! '''* sees 4Kids Entertainment logo on screen* ''' What, are they going to show the people who CATERED the movie next?
* His ''Old VS New'' on TheNuttyProfessor. In the end, he gets a call from [[spoiler:[[{{Peanuts}} Pepperment Patty's]] parents]]
** "Who uses a horn to talk?!!"
** Benzaie about to shave his privates (Don't worry, they don't show anything) and the Critic's horrified reaction.
*** Benzaie's facial expression makes it ten times funnier.
** The Critic imagining what an entire family of Jerry Lewis's would be like.
** He is confused by some aspects of the original, and demands that the movie explains them...[[spoiler: but thankfully, it only culminates in a small explosion]].
* From the DVD-only review of ''Turkish Rambo'', on the star's tendency to stare into the camera: "Stop looking at me! Do I have something stuck in my teeth?"
* The Bio-Dome review. Oh man.
** "For those of you that are young and have no idea who Pauly Shore is. * beat* Good."
** His impression of Joey Lauren Adams.
** The cameo from [[spoiler: [[AtopTheFourthWall 90's Kid!]] ]]
-->'''[[spoiler:90's Kid]]''': Oh, that's just my landlord with my eviction notice. * BAM!* And a battering ram. * Gun cocks* And a sawed-off shotgun. Uh...gotta go! (Runs off).
** Or this exchange:
-->'''Pauly Shore:''' Give me the detonator.
-->'''Head Scientist (played by William Atherton):''' What is the magic word?
-->'''[[spoiler: [[{{Ghostbusters}} Peter Venkman]]]]:''' Please.
** How about the FRIGGING OPENING?!
--> "Hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it-I fucking hate ''Biodome'', I fucking hate ''Biodome'', ''I fucking hate Biodome'' ''I FUCKING HATE BIODOME'', '''''I FUCKING HATE BIODOME''''', I HATE IT I HATE IT '''AYAYAYAYYAYI'''!!"
** "[[{{Squick}} There's something sexy about a man who can lick his own back...]]" ".......What am I supposed to say to that?"
** Also counts as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome. The Nostalgia Critic pointing out how the scientists in the film look like scientists in other films. He uses Doc Brown as an example of how a movie-scientist SHOULD look and asks what Doc Brown would think. The answer-
--> '''[[spoiler:ChristopherLloyd]]''': [[spoiler:I was frozen today.]]
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Why, thank you very much, [[spoiler: Christopher Lloyd]]!
** The Critic spazzing out when the movie glosses over TenaciousD just to get immediately back to the unfunny protagonist duo: "YOU PASSED OVER THE ONLY TALENTED PEOPLE IN THE MOVIE, YOU MORON!!! It's like looking at the line-up of the world greatest martial artists and being like, '''Jackie Chan? I don't think so. Bruce Lee? Maybe next time. ...Steven Seagal!! Get in there!''' ''(long beat)'' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!"
** "This is the movie - * shows DVD of ''Bio-dome''* - these are my wrists after watching the movie - * shows wrists that are covered in bandages* - and these are the notes I took during watching the movie. * lifts up a sheet of paper simply printed with the words:
---> '''Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?''' (etc.)"
** The Critic's reaction to the protagonists bisexual claim, followed by them leaning together, waggling their tongues.
-->'''Critic:''' Never do that again, '''FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.'''
** The massive '''NO!''' when they cut back to the protagonists after the glimpse of Tenacious D? Never fails to crack me up.
** '''"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE."'''
* The Neverending Story 2: The {{elephant in the room}} joke about Jonathan Brandis.
** The bully's Twitter message.
*** "OH, MY GOD, IT'S A DRAGON! THERE'S A FUCKIN' DRAGON FLYING AROUND!"
** The triumphant return of A-CHUCK-A NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!
** "Thank goodness this is the last Neverending Story movie, so I won't have to review another one". And then he turns the music up high enough to drown out the chorus of voices pointing out that there is, in fact, a Neverending Story 3.
** "Here, they could travel at the speed of darkness, which is faster than the speed of light."
-->'''Albert Einstein''' ''Bullshit!''
** "HEART!!!"
*** "Aw, man! The one time I can use this fucking thing and it doesn't do shit!"
** The RunningGag in which the Nostalgia Critic points out the blatant YouFailLogicForever regarding Bastian's ability to make wishes and the apparent lack of limitations of said wishes.
-->'''Critic:''' I wish for a gun ''(Gun magically appears in his hand)''. I wish that memory machine went away forever ''(Machine disappears with a * poof* )''. Bye ''(Shoots Xayide, then dances to the film's theme song)''.
** Falkor's "evil" moment.
--->'''NC:''' "So they go back outside, where- WHOA, what's wrong with Falkor's eyes?!"
--->'''Falkor, eyes glowing red and almost snarling:''' "I am not going to carry that ''woman''."
--->'''NC:''' "Was he just possessed by the Devil, or something?"
--->'''Falkor:''' [[TheExorcist "Stick your cock up her ass, you mother-fucking worthless COCK-SUCKER!"]]
* The Top 11 Most Awkward ChristopherWalken Moments. Just... this.
** [[ItMakesSenseInContext Jelly Donut]]
** The Headless Horseman ordering from Taco Bell's drive-through.
** THIS IS NOT OVER...BEAHS!
** The Critic constantly getting called by Walken, much to his confusion.
*** "Love you too. ...What just happened?"
*** "I don't know where I am when he calls."
** "I could really use some pie right now!"
* For his ''{{Flubber}}'' Review:
** All of his reactions to the fact Robin Williams' character is a total JerkAss
** "Instead of selling his discovery to a business corporation, he uses it on ''basketballs''! '''Why''' aren't you committed?"
** When the NC points out when the main character could technically [[CutLexLuthorACheck sell the robot]] to earn the money to save the school but is more focused on his main project: "You're an idiot!"
** "Oh great, he invented Slimer!"
** The scene with the parent telling his child that nothing can get through a closed window, and then the Flubber bursts through and bounces all around the room: "LOOK OUT! IRONY! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE IRONY!"
** The NC pointing out the physics when one of the goons gets hit in the head from a Flubber-coated bowling ball that falls back to earth: "Uhh, yeah. I think his brains would have PAINTED THE HOUSE if a bowling ball fell on him from that high!"
** "Why don't they just call this movie "Shit Bounces and Nobody Laughs"?"
** The Flubber dance scene which is pointless enough in its own right, gets taken further when even the Big Lipped Alligator Moment can't stand it! "A BIG LIPPED-Oh God I'm bored!"
** "Wow... So the guy who wrote "The Breakfast Club" and "Pretty in Pink" actually had to write the words "He farted Flubber out of his anus. This is a sad day, people!"
** His reaction to Weebo's hologram human form.
** "Hey look, a speck of snow!"
** His reaction to the wedding at the end.
*** '''Nostalgia Critic''': WHAT?!!! You mean he still couldn't make it to the wedding?!!! This guy is ass scum!
** His reaction to Christopher [=MacDonald=] blatantly revealing he's the villain.
** "[[TakeThatScrappy Shut up]] [[WilWheaton We]][[TheWesley sl]][[StarTrek ey]]!"
** "Dale is DEAD everybody! Dale is DEAD!"
** [[TheLittleMermaid I don't know where, I don't know how, but I know soooomethings starting right nooooooooooow!]]
* For the Home Alone 3 review:
** After seeing that the first minute or so features a group of villans talking about a high tech missile chip: "What is this, Die Hard 5? What does this have to do with Home Alone?"
** "Sheesh, this woman's as compassionate as a punch to my ball sac!"
** When one of the goons tries to cut through an electrocuted wire and gets violently shocked, a bolt of electricity shoots out of his ass, which is followed by a clip from Rocky:
--> '''Mickey Goldmill''': "You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder!"
** "How?"
** ''Any'' scene with the Critic as John Hughes as he writes the script for the movie. Especially the end:
---> '''Doug!Hughes''': There! I did it! I finally did it! I wrote the '''worst''' ''HomeAlone'' script '''ever'''! I know I'm contractually obligated to make one more movie, but [[SpringtimeForHitler this script is so bad, that no studio would ever buy it]]. (''laughs'') What are they gonna do, hire the director of ''Beverly Hills Chihuahua'' to direct it? (''laughs in disbelief'') No studio's that stupid! (''laughs some more'') John Hughes, you're a genius! (''continues to laugh as he walks off screen'')
---> '''Studio Exec.''': We'll take it! (* cha-ching* )
---> '''Doug!Hughes''': (''in agony'') My career is over!!
** The kid's detective moment.
--> [[SherlockHolmes In fact, it is elementary! Doris, fetch me my violin!]]
** "Have fun while I'm gone, son! Be sure to stay away from the rat poison I keep under your pillow!"
* When Doug loses his voice, we get [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/20496-ask-that-guy-violates-ma-ti THIS.]]
** Still, I feel bad about not giving you guys anything this week...here's [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Ask That Guy" raping Ma-Ti.]] [[supersecretspoiler:And then the twist at the end.]]
** "Darn".
* "Note to Self: [[KingKong Chocolate means war]].
** SKUUUUUULL!
*** [[ToServeMan It's a cookbook! IT'S A COOKBOOK!]]
* DropDeadFred
** The Annoy-o-meter: MichaelMoore - [[IndianaJones Short Round]] - The dog from DuckHunt - Edward from ''{{Twilight}}'' - "The racist robots" (Skids and Mudflap) from [[TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen Transformers 2]] - [[RushHour Chris Tucker]] - [[StarWars Jar Jar Binks]]. Drop Dead Fred slides in between the last two.
** Gah! Too much ''pink''!
** "Oh! It's a phone call from reality!" "HELL-LOOO!!!"
** "Look at him, he looks like a [[{{TheConeheads}} Conehead]] on fire."
** "Welcome to ''Officially Snapped''." Also, "[[TimBurton Tim Burtonland]]".
** "That's nothing! [[ANightmareOnElmStreet You should see the deleted scene.]]"
** The use of [[TheOmen "Ave Satani."]]
*** CrowningMomentOfFunny AND NightmareFuel.
** NOOOOOOOO no! No! No! No! No! * beat* NO!! NO, no no nonono! No! No. No. No. No. * inuadible repetiotion on "no" with occasional "No" mumbled* * a couple of coughed out "No's"* * "No" repeated a couple of times while attempting laughter, culminating in fast furious repetition of "No" NO! No-ho-ho-ho!!! * while waving his finger* NONONONONONONO-NO!!! * while doing a throwing motion* No! No! No! No!... I'm projecting my NO!!! unto this NO!
*** Really? I thought it was-- * is shot*
** "Riddle me this, Batman! What do you get when you take two talented actors and saddle them with a script written by a horse's scrotum? This movie!"
** On a freezeframe of the main female with a goofy look on their face: "That's the 'Horse that just passed gas' look!"
** "Rik Mayall: Like having a stand-up comedian at the Holocaust."
** Doug and a few guests have a pretentious {{What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic}} discussion, before concluding it's "just a pile of shit."
** Chewing the scenery... literally. Espically with the line: "Hey, there's even more background I can chew!"
** "Yeah, I remember the last time I laughed at my mother's cooch."
* The CareBears movie.
** When the Critic points out how creepy Mr. Cherrywood looks and sounds.
---> "I've touched half these children. And I'm okay with that."
** "Care-A-Lot....is paying for my new car....so might as well do it..."
** TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKAS!
** I've never seen a book so in touch with evil since {{Twilight}}.
** The RunningGag showing just how useless the Care Bear Cousins are... [[strike: even]] '''especially''' Braveheart Lion. '''FAIL!'''
*** [[BraveHeart "They may take our lives, but they'll never take]] ''[[MerchandiseDriven OUR MARKETABILITY!!]]''
** [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything "Maybe it's just my perverted nature, but just look at these two bears and tell me what they're doing."]]
** The Critic questioning what exactly constitutes as "Caring" within the canon of the franchise and the ensuing skit-
--->'''Critic''': So what do you want on your pizza?
--->'''Critic''': Oh, I don't care. * Poof* No, wait! I didn't mean it like tha-
--->'''Care Bears''': Hi, we're the Care Bears, and we want to be your-(Both are shot by the Nostalgia Critic. Repeatedly.)
** The Nostalgia Critic pointing out various faces Nicholas makes over the course of the film, ''especially'' the "Is he turning into [[WhoFramedRogerRabbit Judge Doom?"]] and this bit.
-->'''Critic''': I love the look on Nicholas's face here. It's like he's thinking "Wow, I can't believe I'm actually watching a talking book argue with a fuzzy talking bear. Thank God it's a Friday."
*** Critic's reaction to said Judge Doom face with audio. "[[{{BowelBreakingBricks}} That was a brick, literally a brick]]."
** The Nostalgia Critic being attacked by The Spirit at one point. Why? '''Because he tried to fast-forward through her parts.'''
** "Oh no, he turned them into YouTube commenters!"
** "They also come across a pink elephant. And... guessing the amount of booze you've probably had throughout this picture, I'm guessing you're coming across a few as well."
** "Nice story, but you forgot the part about the sodomy and the ties to the JFK assasination! Oh, well, I guess that stuff wasn't important."
** The line on the Cozyheart Penguin toy ad: "Don't stop bothering your parents until you have one. Steal [from] them, if you must, '''Santa says it's okay'''."
** (When the "Caring Meter" drops) "We're reaching Jersey levels! ''Jersey levels!''"
** The [[TheSimpsons Nelson laugh]] after the key disappears.
** "I have officially become a vampire! Uh, not one of those [[{{Twilight}} sparkling ones]], though, [[YourVampiresSuck they totally suck ass]]."
* ''Follow That Bird''. When Bird Bird begins to have a nervous breakdown from the Dodo family's endless jabber, Doug does Big Bird a favor and screams "'''SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''" in proxy.
* ''Jaws 3D'' has several:
** "A lot of you may be wondering [[{{Kickassia}} where I've been the past week. Well, there was an... incident in Nevada... many people injured... I-I-I can never go back.]]"
** "[[SpecialEffectsFailure Annoyed yet?!]]"
** "[[DistractedByTheSexy You lured me with the promise of penis]]!"
** The bar scene: Lea Thompson is having a discussion while the couple she and her guy are with start making out right in front of them. Cue the Nostalgia Critic making ever-increasing sounds of sex, complete with table crashing sounds.
** ""Chase the cowgirl through the knee-high tents on the beach" Um... kinky?"
** His extension of the Chuck Norris meme.
*** "A-CHUCK A-NORRRRIIIIISSSSSS! RIDINGASHARKTHATSASBIGASJAWS!"
** * bump* "OW! SON OF A BITCH! SHARK CROSSING, YOU A-HOLES!"
** [[TheBeatles "We all live in a Yellow Submarine. A Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine..."]]
** "There's a shark, bitch! Run!" Made even funnier when you realize the lines were lip synced to the dolphin.
** WHACK-A-SHARK!!!
** The RunningGag where the TheCinemaSnob keeps talking about ''Manimal'' with the NC constantly checking to see if he's still talking and then repeatedly pushing him off-screen.
** "Oh, no! She's very, very, very, very, very, very, very slowly coming after us! We only have ''hours'' to escape! Hours!"
** The NC pointing out how incoherent people sound when they yell in the film...complete with clips of [[LooneyTunes The Tasmanian Devil]].
** "[[NaughtyTentacles That]]'s not a ride, that's a {{Hentai}}!"
** CAAAAAA-I mean FIIIIIISH!
** "I'm getting worried. I'm in a horror movie and [[BlackDudeDiesFirst I'm the only black guy around.]] Maybe I should hire more black people." He does, and it works.
* ''FreeWilly''
** The ending: "But like I said, it's not a terrible movie. I mean, it's not as bad as something like, ''A Troll in Central''- Nope! ...Nope, nope! [[GenreSavvy I know how this works]]. If I say the entire title, that means I have to review it next week. Yeah, I know this joke. I'm not doing it, mm-mmm. There is no way you're getting me to say ''ATrollInCentralPark''...!" * Next Week, A Troll In Central Park* "'''[[CurseCutShort FUUUUUUU]]'''-" * [[RunningGag cuts to sinister villain evilly eating popcorn]]*
*** Sinister villian evily eating popcorn is a CMOF in its own right, especially when you put it to CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming scenes.
** Also, the various {{Call Back}}s to previous movies he's reviewed: Seeing [[HeyItsThatGuy The actress who played]] TankGirl and [[HeyItsThatGuy the villain from]] ''[[KarateKid The Next Karate Kid]]'' again, the [[EndOfDays "CAAAAAT!"]] joke, a quick nod to his previous review of ''Jaws 3'', the list goes on
** His reactions to Willy's crying, comparing it to [[TheThreeStooges Curly]] having a hernia, Snarf from {{Thundercats}} getting neutered, [[StarWars Jar-Jar Binks]] in a blender and William Hung sucking on helium.
** His assertion that Micheal Ironside, as the villain, may be a robot "Disengage douchebag mode, engage indifferent sneer".
** The beginning of the review. "But then we come across our enemies... * {{Beat}}* '''[[HumansAreBastards MAN!]]''', * cue the ScareChord*
* ''ATrollInCentralPark''
** "TELL A STORY!"
** "Yes, we ALL have to appreciate what we have. For example, ''I'' (Hayley Mills) could've been the star of "Saved By The Bell". (getting more frantic) I '''was''' the star of "Saved By The Bell", but for some reason I'm NOT the star of "Saved By The Bell". ''"Good Morning, Miss Bliss" my fucking '''ASS'''!'' ... (mouths "sorry")."
** "My Little Pony, the Care Bears, the Teletubbies, Pound Puppies, Rainbow Bright, Strawberry Shortcake, Barney the Dinosaur, the Smurfs, all the High School Musicals, Jem, and the goddamn Getalong Gang are fucking [[TestosteronePoisoning BUTCH]] compared to this!"
** The phone calls with Stanley the Troll.
*** "I love you!"
*** The Critic managing to dream up [[BeyondTheImpossible a porcupine growing out of his anus, said porcupine becoming a T-Rex, and said T-Rex eating Stanley, and from INSIDE HIM no less... ALL OVER THE PHONE.]]
*** This troper's sense of humor may be different, but he always cracks up hearing the line about Stanley "ensuring all the good things that come flowers, sunshine, and animals that smile with their mouths open."
** The Critic subverting his argument about the movie being intended for a wall: "[[{{Poltergeist}} Here's the last wall they showed it to. (the house implodes)]]"
*** "Should've rented '[[TheIronGiant Iron Giant]]'."
** [[SarcasmMode "(GASP!) Did he [Gus] actually suggest that somebody have BALLS in this movie?!?!"]]
** Gus: (to Stanley) "You'll never have a dream come true! And you know why?"
*** Critic: "(flashes a list on screen) Take your pick." [[spoiler: The "He's a coward" one is chosen.]]
*** Here is the Full list: He's annoying. He's obnoxious. He won't shut up. He's a pansie. He sings to flowers. He's as bland as Edward from {{Twilight}}. He's vomitingly cute. His logic makes no seanse. He need to die. He's looks like a rejected muppet. He's a coward. He has three teeth. He lives a delusional nutball. He lives in Central Park yet is still alive. He's ruining this whole friggin' movie, as well as cinema in general. The [[WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory oompa loompas]] could beat him up. He makes [[AustinPowers Mini-Me]] look tall. He gets excited when todlers kiss him. He's the only troll more annoying than the ones from EncyclopediaDramatica. A termite has bigger balls than him. Did I mention he's annoying?
** His responce to Stanley being turned to stone: "HOORAY!"
*** Not to mention his reactions to New York City being plant-ified, mainly suggesting that [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation this was just Stanley's evil plant-based plan]].
** The directional arrows (a la DragonsLair) at the scene where Stanley the troll runs around in New York traffic.
*** '''FUCK IT'''
** "''ZUUL, MOTHERFU''-'''HEY!'''"
** His sketch after a troll starts singing: "I'm a baad troooll...". "OK, this is what happens if you let your five year-old write the screenplay!"
--->'''Five Year-Old:''' And then the troll says "I'm a baad troooll".
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, that's good, son! (starts typing) "And then troll said: I'm a baad troooll"...
--->'''Five Year-Old:''' I have to go potty.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, EVEN BETTER! (starts typing) And then he says: I have to go potty"...
--->'''Five Year-Old:''' No, really, I-I have to go potty.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''' (disappointed): Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead, go... go potty.
--->(beat)
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''' (starts typing): Still good line, though...
** [[ThePhantomMenace "Duel of the Fates"]] playing during the climactic thumb-war sequence.
*** Similarly, the [[BackToTheFuture Back to the Future]] theme playing when [[spoiler: the flying boat appears in the climax.]]
** The very intro of this review in which Critic is so angry this movie that, as he proves later, even saying it's title pisses him off.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Watch. Khem-khem. ''A Troll in Central''... FUCK THIS MOVIEEE! * punches himself in the face* ''A Troll in Central Park''!
** "Boy, LindsayLohan really let herself go."
** "(regarding Stanley) The only way to describe him is imagine [[TheLordoftheRings Bilbo Baggins]] just ate the Lucky Charms leprechaun and got shit out through [[Disney/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Dopey]]'s anus. And that's the ''nice'' version!
* ''TheodoreRex''
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' It's like what JackNicholson would see in OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest after he got lobotomized.
---> '''Jack Nicholson:''' I see Whoopi Goldberg and a T-Rex solving crime.
---> '''"Chief" Bromden:''' * presses pillow on Jack's face* Yes, you need to die now.
** His various movie pitches at the beginning including Betty White + TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles, WilliamShatner + {{Pokemon}}, and Damon Wayans + the Gecko from the Geico commercials.
** The FearAndLoathingInLasVegas scene.
** "Oh wait, I've seen this. Don't the PowerRangers come out and usually beat the crap out of these guys?"
** Teddy's dialogue being replaced by mechanical noises in one part of the review.
** "Run! We'll regroup with the [[TheWizardOfOz Lollipop Guild]]!"
** "And his quest to find that mysterious shoulder tapper begins."
** "If I wanted to watch WhoopiGoldberg interact with dinosaurs, I'd watch TheView."
** "...What the hell? Why are they playing shuffleboard with Hershey's Kisses?"
* ''Top 11 Coolest Cinematic Cliches''
** The Klingon version of "Ode To Joy."
*** "...never play that again."
** NO!!!!!!!!!!
** Wyatt Earp [[UnstoppableRage LOSING H]][[BerserkButton IS SHIT]] at the Nostalgia Critic at the end (because the Critic assumed the audience was sick of the cliches by then).
*** "I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember so you- (nearly gets shot) fuckin' ''crazy'', Wyatt Earp!"
** (Regarding [[StarWars Darth Vader's]] disappointing no): "Hell, Mr. Bill sounded more butch than you!"
** Oh hey, I found my lost state id. * {{beat}}, EvilLaugh*
* ''{{Hook}}''
** The Critic shows us just how an encounter between the [[PeterPan pirates of Neverland]] and the PiratesOfTheCaribbean would end up (with Barbossa shooting Peter Pan's daughter).
** ZUUL, LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS, ZUUL!!
** The "Nutball!" sequence...with added Vengabus.
** Peter yelling "I don't believe in fairies!" resulting in the death of [[FernGully Crysta]].
** The Critic encouraging writers of StarWars FanFiction to rush to their typewriters after pointing out that the kissing couple that Peter and Tink pass by on their way to Neverland is played by George Lucas and Carrie Fisher.
** "Oim heah to blur the loin of reali-tee!"
** The sketch about the Critic acting out the role of a killjoy father.
--->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a SantaClaus?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No!
--->'''Kid:''' Is there an Easter Bunny?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No, I made that up too!
--->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a {{God}}?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, scientifically speaking, they've never really proven that God actually exists, so probably not. In fact, the majority of religions if not all religions are completely false. ''(the kid starts crying)'' Oh, what?
** The out-of-nowhere cameo by [[spoiler:Film Brain]]:
--->'''[[spoiler:Film Brain]]:''' '''''[[spoiler:SYMBOLISM!!!]]'''''
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What was that?
** When Peter tries to rescue his kids from Hook:
---> '''Peter:''' Come on, give me a hand.
---> '''Hook:''' I already have.
---> '''Hook's Pirates:''' Ooooh...
---> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh yes. I went there.
** In response to Peter's memories regressing, to the point he forgot everything after he left Neverland:
--->'''Peter:''' I like this game. Ask me another one!
--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Okay! Can you make a sentence out of these words? "UP THE FUCK SHUT."
** "''My'' Jack..."
** "So after ''not killing him for a third time'', our family finally decides to go home, happily ever af--[[ISurrenderSuckers Psych!]] [[CaptainAmerica Heil Hitler.]]
** The critics reaction to Hook's death-by-falling-taxidermied-crocodile
---> * sniffle, wipes away a tear* My mother went the same way...
** The Critic's interpretation of a line from Captain Hook:
---> '''Hook:''' And you'd better deliver, Ms. Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where ''I'' will send you....
---> '''NC:''' There's a buttcrack with your name on it.
* ''IndependenceDay''
** '''BOOMER WILL LIVE.'''
---> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' * screams in joy, arms up in the air*
*** Made even better by the fact that the line is said in the critic's Optimus Prime voice.
** "Stand back! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! AAAAAAAAH, HE [[JumpingTheShark JUMPED THE SHAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!]]"
*** * Explosion* "WOW! It [[JumpingTheShark jumped the shark]] so high it's '''''[[BeyondTheImpossible nearly in orbit!]]'''''"
** '''EAT LASER TIC TACS!!!'''
** The Critic [[HoYay fantasizing]] about WillSmith.
-->'''Critic:''' [[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan * slapping himself* ]] BOOBS! [[StupidSexyFlanders You like BOOBS!]]
** "Stephanie? Stephanie is that you?" Too bad the joke [[OverlyLongGag goes on for too long]].
*** No, it doesn't. Not nearly.
** Guess who's in the alien ship, blowing us up? It's {{Alf}}, [[StarWars Darth Vader]], [[{{Alien}} a xenomorph]], and [[LooneyTunes Marvin the Martian]] ''playing poker!''
--->'''ALF''': * silence* Hey, uh, press that button, would ya?
--->'''''Alien'' Xenomorph''': Huh? Oh, right. * beep*
** "Ahh, yes, I'd like to, return this taco, ahh, to you because there was, ahh, ahh, ahh, no sauce on it and, as we all know when there is, no sauce ahh, on the taco and you realize it is, not spicy and ahh, blah, blah, blah, if it is not spicy, ahh, well then you all know that it means, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, * dramatic stare* ''CHECKMATE''." * dramatic sting*
** [[MemeticMutation "Do a barrel roll!"]]
** * celestial chorus plays in background* "My god, JeffGoldblum, is there anything you can't do?"
---> Jeff Goldblum, looking like Jesus: No.
** "An alien race that wipes out Earth but is killed by our viruses? * scoff* [[SarcasmMode Whoever heard of such a thing?]] * image of the 1953 version of WarOfTheWorlds* "* sneeze* Jerk-off!* sneeze* "
** [[MemeticMutation "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"]] * punch* "Ow..."
** Will Smith: "Now that's what I call a Close Encounter." * TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir credits play*
** * President fires a missile to see if the shield is down yet. Missile explodes on shield. [[TheSimpsons Kang and Kodos]] laugh evilly. Second missile is fired and hits the ship. Kang gets scared*
** "Cast, step forward and state your stereotypes!"
---> '''Judd Hirsch:''' I'm Judd Hirsch, I'm the [[AlterKocker Jewish stereotype]]!
---> '''Robert Loggia:''' I'm Robert Loggia, I'm the [[GeneralRipper gruff military stereotype]]!
---> '''Randy Quaid:''' I'm Randy Quaid, and I'm the [[DeepSouth redneck stereotype]]!
---> '''[[StarTrekTheNextGeneration Brent Spiner]]:''' I'm Brent Spiner, and I'm the [[MadScientist geeky stereotype]]!
---> '''Harvey Fierstein:''' I'm that guy from MrsDoubtfire, and I'm the [[CampGay gay stereotype]]!
---> '''Harry Connick, Jr.:''' I'm Harry Connick Jr., and I'm the [[HeterosexualLifePartners annoying best friend stereotype]]!
---> '''JeffGoldblum:''' I am Jeff Goldblum, and I am in and of myself, uh, a [[GibberingGenius stereotype]].
** When the Critic hears the newscaster saying "God help us all", we get this:
---> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "A hurricane was spotted on the Eastern Coast- PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
** "I can out-Jew you!"
** The critic muses as to what the president's dramatic speech would have been like if the aliens had attacked on a different holiday... like Talk Like a Pirate Day.
** "Whose side you gonna be on, the humans or the aliens?" * takes his cap off and puts silver antennae on his head* "[[MorkAndMindy Nanu-nanu]]!"
** "And you'll never believe it, no, you'll never expect it...the best friend dies!" [[SouthPark Stan: "Oh my god, TheyKilledKenny!" Kyle: "You bastards!"]]
* Everything about his review of ''TheRoom''....I'm dead serious, EVERYTHING. The new
** Seahorses [[spoiler: rule the world in the future.]] ''Seahorses.''
** The RunningGag with people from ChannelAwesome (Obscurus Lupa, [[AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]], [[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] - who thinks at first NC is reviewing [[spoiler: ''{{Highlander}} 2]]'') trying to save Critic's sanity by begging him to stop reviewing this movie.
*** For the record, Spoony still freaks out when he finds out what the Critic reviews.
--->Nostalgia Critic: "Thanks for that."
*** Also, when Linkara tells the Critic not to review the movie, the Critic tells him to go away, which he does without complaint.
*** Shockingly, [[HilariousInHindsight their cries turned out to be not unjustified]] considering [[FrivolousLawsuit what has happened to the review itself in the official website]].
** Critic's reaction to Lisa asking Mark whether Johnny [[spoiler: [[TooDumbToLive is okay]]]] after Johnny [[spoiler: commited suicide shooting a gun through his mouth]].
*** Made even funnier, if you get the MontyPython [[HurricaneOfEuphemisms Dead Parrot]] [[MemeticMutation meme]]
** "YOU HAVE REACHED ENLIGHTENMENT!!
--->"My God was that ''bad''."
** When two men are fighting the Critic adds the sounds of cats squabbling. Twice.
** Analyzing the flower buying scene: "You didn't recognize the five foot girly-haired French zombie until he took off his sunglasses?"
** The critic, in a crotchety old woman's voice, saying: "...or granny will pop a cap in your ass!"
** The Critic's reaction to Johnny's infamous ''"I did naht hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit, I did naht hit her, I did NAHT. Oh hi Mark."'' line, declaring it to be the worst line delivery ever uttered on film, getting all pretenses of inflection wrong.
** The Tao of Johnny. It's really good huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?
** The Critics's reaction to the random LA Shot during Johnny's Birthday party.
-->'''Critic:''' What, was the screensaver ''while the movie'' '''''loads'''''? * ''Loading bar pops up as the scene plays again, reading 'Loading Dick Sauce of a movie...'''*
* "The Tommy Wiseau Show." '''All of it.''' Doubles as a [[CrowningMoment/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses Crowning Moment Of Awesome]], as well.
* ThePhantom
** "All of our future plans are SKULLS!!"
** The ending, where [[spoiler:his erection gets him trapped under his desk.]]
** Among the other criticism about the Phantom's appearance: "You couldn't be more obvious if you were shitting fireworks!!!"
** "Run! It's the gayest thing you've ever seen!"
* Zeus and Roxanne:
** Playporpoise.
** DOLPHIN PUNCH!
** ''Blind Date'' with Steve Guttenberg
--> * arrow on Guttenberg* "Is afraid she has seen the Police Academy movies"
** ''[[LionKing Nyaaaaaaa!]] This movie sucks! You got totally screwed... Did you even see the poster? And you paid money for this...''
** Porn musice playing when the dog notices the photo of a dolphin.
** [[spoiler:Zeus and Roxanne's kids]]
** His reaction to "If a dog and a dolphin can get along, why can't our mom and his dad?"
*** WORLD PEACE DECLARED
** The Critic laughing his ass off at Zeus sliding off the boat--complete with slide whistle sound effect!
** "The only problem is, she has competition with... AAAAHHH! [[TheMummyTrilogy The Mummy!]]" * main theme from ''The Mummy'' plays*
** [[GilligansIsland "Just sit right back / and you'll hear a tale / a tale of a fateful trip!"]]
** The subtitles for Zeus and Roxanne communicating with each other.
--->'''Zeus:''' I've always loved you.
--->'''Roxanne:''' That's totally gross, you're an abomination.
--->'''Zeus:''' Come on, my balls are gone but I can still get the job done.
--->'''Roxanne:''' JESUS you're nasty! Get the fuck away from me, perv!
* Mr. Director from ''{{Animaniacs}}'' discusses his film Bushkabliben, "like a fairy tale from Tommy Wiseau" that won The Award of Cleveland.
** In a similar vein, ''Slappy the Squirrel'' making a (vocal) appearance.
---> '''Slappy''': When's the last time you saw the FamilyGuy get hit on the head with a mallet? It's never gonna happen.
** "Water go down the hooooooole!"
** "Yes, well, I love to destroy careers".
** The entire discussion about the ''total censor failure''.
** "Yes, well, I'm not really one to comment, since I'm one of the few people who ''framed a twitter'' from Roger Ebert..." * image of Ebert's twitter post in a digital photo frame*
** "It was the worst kind of celebrity for me at that age, you know? I was thirteen, and trying to look very masculine and for the ladies, but they all thought of me as this cuddly-wuddly fuzzy little squirrel. And that did not help me with the ladies for quite a while. Yeah."
*** "It's tough being a squirrel."
