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* When Alice and Miranda have a falling out, Miranda says [[TemptingFate she can make it on the streets of New York by herself just fine]]. She's gone for about 15 seconds.
--> '''Miranda''' *tied up with rope, covered in graffiti, and with her feet encased in cement* Never insult the cheesecake at Lindy's...
* After Miranda laments that her life isn't going to have a fairy tale ending after all, Jay shows up in a panic.
--> '''Jay''': Oh hide me! I'm being chased by three bears! Don't ask questions!
--> '''Miranda''': Oh Jay, don't tease!
--> '''Jay''': *tries to hold the door shut as angry animal snarls and pounding comes from the other side*


'''Captain Picard:''' Alright, you two, who wrote ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead Rule'' on the back of my skull?!\\
'''Christian Slater:''' Not us, man! ''(Reeves and Slater laugh like Beavis and Butthead)''\\

to:

'''Captain Picard:''' Alright, you two, who wrote ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead Rule'' on the back of my skull?!\\
'''Christian Slater:''' Not us, man! ''(Reeves and Slater laugh like Beavis and Butthead)''\\Butt-Head)''\\


* ''[[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenace Dennis The]] Film/MenaceIISociety''

to:

* ''[[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenace ''[[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenaceUS Dennis The]] Film/MenaceIISociety''

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** The seal is Duke's "[[IncrediblyLamePun Seal of Approval]]", which he trained to replace Jay if he ever decided to get too uppity. Having been trained with bad and good movies for reinforcement, the seal happily claps in approval after being shown a clip from ''Film/TheGodfather''.


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* While on an important job, Jay passes by Creator/IngmarBergman sitting by the roadside, but because of the tight schedule, he doesn't have time to stop and is forced to move on.
--> '''Farmer''': Well Bergman, you best get back to the peanut patch with [[Creator/RomanPolanski Polanski.]]
** On the same route, Jay also passes by a group of stranded French pastry chefs who needs someone to eat their creations before they spoil, but again, he's forced to move on.
** When he first starts out on his trip (from New York to Florida, and back, in 24 hours), he runs into Film/ThelmaAndLouise, and later, runs afoul of [[Film/SmokeyAndTheBandit Scheriff Buford T. Justice and Junior]], despite being nowhere near Texas or Georgia. Fortunetly, turns out Scheriff Buford and his son have gotten a bit more sophisticated since the 70's, and just ask Jay about all the new cultural developments on the New York art scene.


* The flashback to Alice watching the 1977 Oscars as a child, with Creator/JackNicholson presenting the award for Best Picture.

to:

* The flashback to Alice watching the 1977 Oscars as a child, with Creator/JackNicholson presenting the award for Best Picture. Alice says she always thought they were so glamerous.



--> '''Dunaway''': I'd like to sing something from Creator/AndrewLloydWebber *begins wailing loudly, only for an Oscar statue to come flying from offscreen and knocking her unconscious*
--> '''Nicholson''': ''Thank'' you, [[Creator/KatherineHepburn Miss Hepburn]]...
--> '''Hepburn''': *in an elderly voice* Well, she SUCKS!

to:

--> '''Dunaway''': I'd like to sing something from Creator/AndrewLloydWebber *begins Creator/AndrewLloydWebber... ''(begins wailing loudly, only for an Oscar statue to come flying from offscreen and knocking her unconscious*
unconscious.)''
--> '''Nicholson''': ''Thank'' you, [[Creator/KatherineHepburn [[Creator/KatharineHepburn Miss Hepburn]]...
--> '''Hepburn''': *in an elderly voice* ''(offscreen)'' Well, she SUCKS!


--> '''Nicholson''': ''Thank'' you, [[Creator/AudreyHepburn Miss Hepburn]]...

to:

--> '''Nicholson''': ''Thank'' you, [[Creator/AudreyHepburn [[Creator/KatherineHepburn Miss Hepburn]]...


'''Franklin:''' ''(forcefull)'' I didn't ''ask'' to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies. The balloon doggies ''demanded'' it! ''(to balloon doggie)'' Isn't that right, balloon doggie? ''(as balloon doggie)'' "No!" ''(as himself)'' Shut up!

to:

'''Franklin:''' ''(forcefull)'' ''(forcefully)'' I didn't ''ask'' to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies. The balloon doggies ''demanded'' it! ''(to balloon doggie)'' Isn't that right, balloon doggie? ''(as balloon doggie)'' "No!" ''(as himself)'' Shut up!

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* Franklin asking UsefulNotes/GeorgeHWBush to liberate his son from Iraqi prison.
-->'''Franklin:''' Now, I've given money to the Republican Party for ''years'' and I never asked for anything in return.\\
'''Bush:''' You asked to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies.\\
'''Franklin:''' ''(forcefull)'' I didn't ''ask'' to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies. The balloon doggies ''demanded'' it! ''(to balloon doggie)'' Isn't that right, balloon doggie? ''(as balloon doggie)'' "No!" ''(as himself)'' Shut up!


-->'''Jay:''' "Dear [[Series/FamilyMatters Urkel]], you are so funny. Can you come to my birthday party? Your friend, Captain Rahim."\\
-->''Rahim:''' Give me that!\\
-->'''Jay:''' "Single Arabic Captain wishes to meet non-Kurdish woman. I like puppies, Music/KennyG and long walks on the beach." ''(to Rahim)'' Woooo, Kenny G!\\

to:

-->'''Jay:''' '''Jay:''' "Dear [[Series/FamilyMatters Urkel]], you are so funny. Can you come to my birthday party? Your friend, Captain Rahim."\\
-->''Rahim:''' '''Rahim:''' Give me that!\\
-->'''Jay:''' '''Jay:''' "Single Arabic Captain wishes to meet non-Kurdish woman. I like puppies, Music/KennyG and long walks on the beach." ''(to Rahim)'' Woooo, Kenny G!\\

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* Jay reading the notes Captain Rahim keeps giving him to read on live TV.
-->'''Jay:''' "There's going to be a really bitchin' kegger at Captain Rahim's tent!"\\
'''Rahim:''' That's mine, read this!\\
-->'''Jay:''' "Dear [[Series/FamilyMatters Urkel]], you are so funny. Can you come to my birthday party? Your friend, Captain Rahim."\\
-->''Rahim:''' Give me that!\\
-->'''Jay:''' "Single Arabic Captain wishes to meet non-Kurdish woman. I like puppies, Music/KennyG and long walks on the beach." ''(to Rahim)'' Woooo, Kenny G!\\
''(Captain Rahim chokes Jay Homer Simpson-style.)''

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* ''Series/HeeHaw: [[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration The Next Generation]]''. Worf can hambone!


-->'''Gene Shalit:''' ''(phoning Jay in the opening credits)'' Hi, this is Gene Shalit. I'm having a bad hair day. If you don't believe me, look out the window!

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-->'''Gene Shalit:''' ''(phoning Jay in the opening credits)'' Hi, this is Gene Shalit. I'm having a bad hair day. If you don't believe me, look out the window!window! *Jay looks shocked*


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** Rather than throwing their food, the Japanese kids sort of lobs it at the other students using their chopsticks.
** Carmen gets hit with some food that knocks her glasses off, and Marty gives them back.
--> '''Carmen''': *sees Marty as a handsome boy holding a rose* ''Madre de dios!''
--> '''Marty''': Here are your glasses!
--> '''Carmen''': *puts her glasses back on and Marty refocuses into a pudgy kid holding a fork with a meatball on it* Oh...


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* One of the students father is an artist who draws an elaborate artwork all over the blackboard, only for Jay to erase part of it to write his own name.
--> '''Artist''': Ahh, my work!! *throws himself out the window, where he lands in a rooftop garden*
--> '''Gardener''': Ach, my work!! *throws himself off the bulding and lands in a wet patch of cement on the sidewalk*
--> '''Construction Worker''': *shrugs* Meh... *covers the gardenever with more cement*

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* The flashback to Alice watching the 1977 Oscars as a child, with Creator/JackNicholson presenting the award for Best Picture.
--> '''Nicholson''': Before I announce the winner of Best Friggin' Picture, let's have another hand for Best Friggin' Actress, Creator/FayeDunaway!
--> '''Dunaway''': I'd like to sing something from Creator/AndrewLloydWebber *begins wailing loudly, only for an Oscar statue to come flying from offscreen and knocking her unconscious*
--> '''Nicholson''': ''Thank'' you, [[Creator/AudreyHepburn Miss Hepburn]]...
--> '''Hepburn''': *in an elderly voice* Well, she SUCKS!
* In Los Angeles, both Siskel and Ebert are picked up by limousines at the airport to take them to the Oscars. Meanwhile, Duke hired a vicious-looking biker who makes Jay sit in the sidecar, and ends up ditching him in the L.A slums while he absconds with Alice.
--> '''Jay''': *looks around and notices he's right in the crossing [[OhCrap between Crip Street and Blood Avenue]]*
* At the Awards, Jay discovers a shocking secret about the Oscar statues - they're actually just gold foil over chocolate!
--> '''Jay''': Now I want one more than ever!

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* Jay getting clonked by flowerpots as he leaves Alice's apartment. As in, one falls in him for every step he takes towards the stairs.
-->'''Alice:''' Jay, did that hurt?\\
'''Jay:''' No, but ''this'' will! ''(Falls down the stairs)'' Ow, ow, ow...



to:

* One call comes from below...
-->'''Unearthly dark voice:''' Hello, Jay, this is The Devil. Despite what you think, I am not the reason Cher won an Oscar. I ''am'' the reason Marisa Tomay won an Oscar. ''(Growls heavily)''

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