History Funny / TheCinemaSnob2019Episodes

* When Freddy says "Ready or not...here I come..." Snob adds [[ADateWithRosiePalms a light slapping sound and a fart]].

-->'''Snob:''' Freddy's gonna curse [Dean] into being in the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' films![[note]]Dean's actor Kellan Lutz played Emmett Cullen in the ''Twilight'' film series.[[/note]] ''Twilight'' joke? Ho ho, this review is ''so'' 2010! [...] He's woken up from his one chance to meet [[Film/{{Watchmen}} Rorschach]] by Creator/RooneyMara's Nancy. Oh great, she was in ''Film/{{Pan}}''. Get it? 'Cause that's whatever bad movies!\\\

* Creator/JackieEarleHaley's performance as Freddy is so genuinely creepy that at times it reduces Snob to nervous laugther (in Snob's own words, "I'm laughting through my fear!")... and other body reactions.

'''Freddy:''' We got six more minutes to play...\\

''[cut to Snob with a scared expression, as sounds of heavy shitting are heard]''\\

'''Snob:''' I don't like that this remake is dark! Go back to being funny!

* "So then Mark begins working scurity at a hockey arena, where the Vice President is taken hostage! Oh no, wait, I just wished I was watching ''Film/SuddenDeath''."

* When Snob finds out that the opening credits [[SpellMyNameWithAnS spell the film's title with]] [[ExcitedShowTitle an exclamation mark]]:

* When Snob finds out that the opening credits [[SpellMyNameWithAnS spell the film's title with]] [[ExcitedShowTitle an exclamation point]]:

* "''The Trump Prophecy'' is a movie about a fireman with PTSD who sees a floating God orb and takes that as a sign to make Trump president. And he is helped by people blowing rams' horns into the sky. (''deep breath'') Do I really need to continue? What else could I possibly say about this film?"
* "But perhaps I am judging this film far too soon. Surely critics are being way too harsh when they call this film the worst of 2018." (''[[HypocriticalHumor cut to a shot of Brad and Sarah's Worst of 2018 video, where Brad ranked this movie as his worst]]'')
* (''after the title card appears on a flame background'') "Um, is this a warning for or against Trump? Not since ''Voiceless'' have I been so confused about the possible notion that they're making an anti-conservative movie! Hell, the casting is done by someone whose name is literally 'Bias'!"
* "Thank God the fire is all horribly CG'd in! All we need to do is destroy the computer! That'll get rid of the fire."
* "Why does this whole movie sound ADR'd? Is it in the ''Dancin': It's On!'' universe?"
* "Um, excuse me, Mark, why are you fixing a boat? This is a Christian film. There's a basketball hoop right there! You're supposed to shoot hoops and talk about Jesus, bro!"
*
-->'''Snob''': For an 80-minute movie, it sure does take a while to get moving. Seriously, someone get this movie a coffee.
-->(''scene of the lead character being awakened by his wife'')
-->'''Snob''': Yeah, that's about how I'd toss and turn in the morning when I know that the only thing I have planned for the day is watching ''The Trump Prophecy''.
* "Maybe if he stopped eating two Baconators before going to bed, he wouldn't be having these literal fever dreams."
* "'''''EMOTE!'''''"
*
-->'''Soundtrack''': ♪It's like looking out the window of a train moving fast...♪
-->'''Snob''': You're right. This is like looking out my window as a fast train is approaching me. I think that's what you said.
*
-->'''Character in movie''': Your voice sounds different.
-->'''Snob''': No it doesn't. It doesn't at all! The early episodes of ''The Cinema Snob'' [[SelfDeprecation have more emotion than this guy]]!

* "Also, it's not ''Inchon'', but '''''[[ExcitedShowTitle INCHON!]]'''''"

* Richard Roundtree's credit earns the ''Film/{{Shaft}}'' theme, and his intro has the comment "After ''Shaft in Africa'', I guess ''Shaft in Korea'' is the next logical step."

--->'''Snob:''' No wonder [[Film/TheBigLebowski Jackie Treehorn]] had to resort to doing porn; he wasted all his money on this.

* When a group of journalists is introduced, a female journalist with an ample cleavage in particular grabs Snob's attention:

'''Snob:''' ''[later, when she replaces her camera bulb]'' Oh, and, uh... don't forget your... ah, bulbs... ''Why does this scene have sex appeal?!''

* Snob finds out that one of the producters is named [[NamesTheSame Michael]] [[Series/TheOfficeUS Scott]].

-->'''Reverend Dave:''' But maybe you'd understand a little better if you were the one being attacked.\\

* "Why start the year with ''Film/{{Inchon}}''? Because by the time I finish, it will be 2020!" And to make true of that, the last part of the movie has him in a Christmas onesie.

-->'''Brad''' (''[[BreakingTheFourthWall from behind his computer]]''): I ''am'' taking notes on this. What do you ''think'' I do when I watch these movies?
* Richard Roundtree's credit earns the ''Film/{{Shaft}}'' theme, and his intro has the comment "After ''Shaft in Africa'', ''Shaft in Korea'' is the natural follow-up!"
* "Like ''Film/HeavensGate'', there are scenes where we wonder if they want to kill the stunt doubles..."

* The RunningGag on the G rating when the movie is as violent as possible.

* "Why start the year with ''Film/{{Inchon}}? because by the time I finish, it will be 2020!" And to make true of that, the last part of the movie has him in a Christmas onesie.
* The running gag on the G rating when the movie is as violent as possible.
* Richard Roundtree's credit earns the ''Film/{{Shaft}}'' theme, and his intro gas the comment "After ''Shaft In Africa'', Shaft In Korea is the natural follow-up!"