History Funny / TalesFromTheBorderlands

--> Vaughn: AHHHHH!!! '''''CRAP!'''''\\

''* Rhys runs over the skag and the car spins. Both Rhys and Vaughn look freaked out.''
'''Vaughn:''' ''(freaking out)'' What did we even-- what did we even hit!? I hope that wasn't like a really ugly person. Ugh, crap. I think we-- I think we killed it. Are we murderers now? W-we're murderers. We're murderers. ''Great''. Great, we murder. You know, I thought it would take longer than ''20 seconds'' before that happened!\\

--> '''Vaughn:''' ''(freaking out)'' Oh, I hope that wasn't a really ugly person!

'''Rhys:''' Hand-- ''(robotic arm [[PeoplePuppets repeatedly slaps his face]])'' Ow, ow, owowowow!
'''AI Jack:''' Sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry! But I mean it, she's ''really gonna kill us''. Hey, wh-what do you say we go to the roof, huh, sport? The nice, warm, Vault-Hunter-free roof!

-->'''Athena''': Who are you talking to?\\
'''Rhys''': Hand- ''(robotic arm [[PeoplePuppets repeatedly slaps his face]])'' Ow, ow, owowowow!

-->'''Fiona:''' I know you probably think it's your "thing", but, that mustache...it's awful. I want you to hear that 'cause I feel like a lot of people in your life are worried to tell you. Which is sad.\\
(Rhys gives her a "Come on, seriously?" gesture)\\
'''Kroger:''' (thoroughly annoyed) Shit talker 'til the end. Ya know, I can respect that.

---->''(Finch points his gun at the bomb Psycho running towards them)''

*** The Psycho chases Rhys all the way back to Old Haven's entrance. Finch immediately draws his Unkempt Harold, which fires ''exploding'' bullets and opens fire. The threat is neutralized...and so is Vasquez's body.

''(The Psycho and Vasquez's body is blown to pieces)''

-->'''Sasha:''' (folds arms) Don't look at me.

-->'''Rhys:''' (nervously) G-go team!

---->'''Rhys:''' Oh...man...we were supposed to bring back the body.\\
'''Kroger:''' (glaring at Finch) Well, it's gonna take a little longer to collect now.\\

-->'''Rhys:''' So, uh...I'm sorry about earlier.

--> '''Shade's face will remember that.'''

'''[[DeadpanSnarker Sasha]]''': You need some help over there? It looks like you're struggling a bit. I already took out mine so...I'm not really doing anything.

--> '''Rhys:''' I'm going to pretend you just did everything I said. So... good work.

--> '''Rhys''': You're uh... you're really cool. Ah ha ha... I just... I wanted you to know that.\\

-->'''Rhys''': I got it!\\

-->'''Bandit''': Nah, nah, nah, don't help him! Come on, let him do it himself! If he can!\\

-->'''Rhys''': Oh ''come on!'' You can ''not'' tell me that wasn't cool!\\

-->'''Bossanovoa''': MY SUB-WOOFER
-->'''Zero:''' ''':)'''

---> '''Fiona:''' "Rev the engines on your life, Vaughn!"
---> '''Vaughn:''' "What does that mean?"

--> '''Fiona:''' ''Roll out the barrel!! I'll draw your blood!!''
--> ''({{Beat}}. Psycho goes from trying to strangle Vaughn to {{Glomp}}ing him.)''
--> '''Psycho:''' MEAT-BUDDIES RIDIN' THE DEATH TRAIN!

--> '''August:''' What's wrong with his face?!
--> '''Sasha:''' You can't trust a face like that! They've been all 'yes sir' and 'no sir' and 'we have the money right here sir'!
--> '''Vaughn:''' Nothing you're saying is a bad thing!

'''Rhys:''' Scratch your own nuts!\\
'''Sasha:''' Really?\\

-->'''Fiona''' ''(in a posh accent)'': Ah, you are a delight. But on to business. I propose that we form an alliance for the return of the funds.
-->'''Rhys:''' ''(oddly casual)'': Hmmmmm, capital!
-->''(record needle scratch)''
-->'''Rhys:''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. Really? Is that what you're going with? 'Cause, I remember it a little differently...(see below).

-->'''Stranger:''' Stop it with the embellishments. What really happened?\\

'''Fiona:''' ''(embarrassed)'' Yeah, I was...trying to kill him.\\

* Should Rhys choose to try and tell Athena about Jack, after Jack clearly warns that Athena ''hates'' him (due to all the shit that went down in ''Pre-Sequel''), his arm will give him a rapid-fire DopeSlap.

* AI Jack sticking his arm out through Vaughn's crotch and talking with his hand like a puppet, which is supposed to represent Vaughn's penis. Since only Rhys can see Jack (and only Rhys knows about him as you must keep Jack a secret to get this scene), as far as Vaughn can tell, Rhys is just staring at his junk for no reason, and the two have a very uncomfortable moment.
-->'''Vaughn will try to forget that.'''

-->'''August:''' Look, Ma...I know you're mad, but-
-->'''Vallory:''' You went behind my back, and you made another mess...now I have to come in and clean up after you. Ugh...Story of my life. ''(She rips out his nose ring)''

-->'''Vallory:''' ''(cheerfully)'' Now stand over there and think about what you've done.
* When going over why the group shouldn't trust Cassius, Fiona can finish with "...and his cat probably ''sucked''."

-->'''Fiona:''' (cheerfully) [[InsaneTrollLogic That was a test, people]]. And you all failed.
-->'''Tour Group Leader''' (utterly dumbfounded) Wait, what? How does that work?

-->'''Fiona:''' (horrified) Why... why is it-(''Gets tackled to the ground'')\\
'''Guard:''' You didn't see anything!\\
'''Fiona:''' Why is it ''doing that...!?''\\
'''Guard:''' STOP LOOKING!\\

* The entire fake gunfight sequence against the Hyperion accountants, which is presented like a typical gun fight. [[MundaneMadeAwesome Never have finger gun fights been so epic and so hilarious]]...very much helped by how there were somehow enough accountants close around to make them provide a ZergRush befitting of an action film.

* Near the ending, Loader Bot and Gortys walk off into the desert looking very like a certain pair of famous StarWars characters.

* How Athena [[FlippingTheTable copes with]] losing a game of [[MagicAmpersand Bunkers & Badasses]].