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    Trailers and Pre-Release 

  • Vaughn manages to provide a very accurate summary of Pandora in a single sentence:
    This place is a garbage land of sand and sadness.
  • The entire pre-trailer monologue (by Handsome Jack himself) regarding the timeline is funny from start to finish:
    Handsome Jack: Alright kiddos, I know you're all excited to watch the new trailer and whatnot, but there's a lot of unanswered questions about the chronological blah blah blah about this game. So let's just get to it. The story goes something like this, Borderlands (which I wasn't in), Borderlands the Pre-Sequel! (which is where my story starts and is currently available for purchase), followed by Borderlands 2 and now Tales from the Borderlands! Have we got it? Everyone good? Can we START THE FRIGGIN' TRAILER ALREADY!?

    Zer0 Sum 
  • Vasquez has his moments. For example, his reasoning on why he is in charge and not Rhys.
    Vasquez: For the exact same reason why North is North, why the handsome guy always gets the girl, and why every spaceship in the universe is shaped like a cock. It's destiny, Rhys.
  • Scan Henderson with the ECHO-Eye. Status: Not well.
  • When Vaughn and Rhys are driving, they run over a skag in the intro sequence. Vaughn is immediately really freaked out about hitting something with a car, in contrast to the rest of the series.
    Vaughn: (freaking out) Oh, I hope that wasn't a really ugly person!
    • And of course it felt familiar to anyone whose played 400 Days.
  • After no more than twenty or so minutes on Pandora, Rhys and Vaughn get into a square off with a load of bandits. They immediately call Yvette for back up, who responds with an exasperated ‘Really?’ at their already needing help.
  • Rhys calls down a Loader Bot to deal with some bandits. After landing on top of one of the bandits, it just kind of stands in front of the bandits awkwardly, with its lower half covered in blood.
    Loader Bot: ...hi.
    • To be frank, every line of deadpan robotic dialogue the Loader Bot deals out can fall under this, especially when he says phrases like, "This is totally not cool." while being assaulted by multiple bandits. After he manages to take out a lot of bandits, he tops it all off with, "Fatality".
      • If equipped with the shield before launch, Loader Bot has this to say:
    Loader Bot: War. Does not compute. What is it good for?
    Rhys: You know, ever since Jack died the loaders have been getting smarter and smarter.
    Vaughn: I like to think we all have.
  • After the bot has driven off the bandits at the cost of an arm and a leg.
    Rhys: I will name my first-born child...Loader Bot.
    (Vaughn gives him a look)
    Rhys: Okay, probably not.
    • At the near end of the chapter, we get to see loader bot make his return. Depending on your choices, you either get it to say "You suck!" or "Righteous father! I have returned!"
  • When Loader Bot is being attacked by bandits:
    This is totally uncool. (swings arm) Why must the universe punish the good?
  • One of the QTE sequences involves acting out a plan that Rhys is forming in his mind. Fail any of the QTEs, and Rhys gets stuck for an idea...only to find that everyone else has already found an easier way down.
    • However, if you pass all the QTEs, Rhys lays out a rapidly-escalating plan (each part of it filling a little CMOF in its own right), and coolly asks if everybody got that. Then he finds that everybody left him while he was rambling on the cliff and found an easier way down.
    Rhys: I'm going to pretend you just did everything I said. So... good work.
  • Zer0 still displays emotions by flashing giant holographic emoticons. The mystery surrounding the character becomes much funnier with a giant ":D" plastered on his face.
    • Particularly when Rhys compliments Zer0:
    Rhys: You're uh... you're really cool. Ah ha ha... I just... I wanted you to know that.
    Zer0: <3
  • The first reveal as part of the game's narrative style. When the deal is being outlined from Rhys' perspective, you get two options.
  • Speaking of which, when you first gain control of Fiona, you get these ways to describe exactly what happened:
    1) "It's complicated..."
    2) The vault key was shattered.
    3) The Psycho Gang Lord came barging in.
    4) The Vault Hunter came barging in.
    • Either options you choose will prompt Rhys disagreeing with the end of the Cutaway Gag saying that isn't the important part. Turns out that the actual story is all of the above. See, Fiona and Sasha did not expect Rhys and Vaughn to show up and got worried that Rhys could use his Echo-eye to learn the Vault Key is a fake. So while Sasha creates a distraction, Fiona quickly plants an EMP device on the Vault Key. Unfortunately, when Rhys attempts to scan the key, the EMP device not only short-circuits his eye, it temporarily fries Rhys' robotic arm, causing to him drop and shatter the Vault Key. They all realize the Vault Key is a fake and then Psycho Gang Lord Bossanova comes barging in with his mooks while being chased by a famous Vault Hunter, Zer0, who was after him for the Gortys Project. "Complicated" doesn't even begin to cover it.
  • Rhys can choose to slap Shade for scaring him (and players who played it for the first time without the walkthrough). You can choose to do it again with Fiona.
    • There's also the note that pops up when you slap him the first time:
    Shade's face will remember that.
  • Fiona's account of what they did with Rhys and Vaughn when they escaped from August. She gets two options:
    • If she chooses to tell the Stranger where they formed a truce to get back the money, a brief Cutaway Gag shows Sasha and Vaughn laughing together while Fiona and Rhys politely drink tea with their pinky fingers extended, all conversing in overly-posh accents. Rhys interrupts the story and corrects Fiona, prompting a Cutaway Gag of the Fiona's second choice (see below), only without the Stranger interrupting. The cut back to how everything actually went down is all the funnier.
    • Alternatively, if she chooses to tell the Stranger that they try to kick them out (the actual story), there is another brief Cutaway Gag with Sasha dangling a screaming Rhys out of the caravan, complaining that they should just shoot both of them while Fiona, with Vaughn at gun point, tells her that the fall would kill them without wasting their bullets. The Stranger suddenly interrupts them, pausing the story:
    Stranger: Stop it with the embellishments. What really happened?
    Rhys: (oddly casual) No, actually that's how it went down.
    Fiona: Yeah, I was trying to kill him.
    Stranger: (stunned for a second) Oh. (beat) Okay. Continue.
  • "I have the shiniest meat bicycle!"
  • Felix's Echo Eye analysis describes him as an "upstanding citizen and friend to all who would never even dream of committing a crime."
    • Meanwhile scanning Vaughn shows his current status as "dreading everything". Especially funny when compared to Fiona's "eager" status and Sasha's "trigger-happy" status.
  • When Rhys has the option to rate Sasha's Neck Snap:
    [Thumbs up]
    [Thumbs down]
    [Meh]
  • Rhys failing to Neck Snap a bandit. Even funnier, the bandit at first thinks it's a joke played by one of his friends, while Sasha teases and mocks him for his ineptitude - especially when the bandit, unimpressed, casually agrees with Sasha, or in certain options, asks her not to help so Rhys can do it all by himself.
    Bandit: Oh, Eric? Aw, is that you? Wait wait wait, what is this? Is this real or is this — is this a joke?
    Rhys: Oh this is real real! (Sasha stands up and smirks at Rhys)
    Bandit: Wait, wait wait wait, that's not Eric!
    Rhys: No it's not Eric. It's your — doom! Stop squirming!
    Sasha: You need some help over there? It looks like you're struggling a bit. I already took out mine so...I'm not really doing anything.
    • [If you select "I got it"]
    Rhys: I got it!
    Sasha: That's not what it looks like from here.
    Bandit: Nope. No he doesn't! He does not got it!
    Rhys: Shut up!
    Sasha: Wow! Even the bandit's unimpressed.
    • [If you select "Relax, Sasha!" or "Help me!"]
    Bandit: Nah, nah, nah, don't help him! Come on, let him do it himself! If he can!
    Rhys: Shut up!
    Sasha: Nah, I think he's right. You should handle it yourself.
    Rhys: Oh come on! You can not tell me that wasn't cool!
    Sasha: (rolls eyes) You are not cool!
  • If Rhys or Fiona dies due to failing a QTE, at the Game Over screen the Stranger will admonish them for lying because they're clearly not dead.
    • A particularly amusing QTE fail involves Fiona desperately trying to close a door when a royally pissed-off August wants to kill her for screwing him on the Vault Key deal. Don't shut the door in time, and Fiona's shot right between the eyes - all while Fiona's Lemony Narrator lampshades how this couldn't have happened since she's, well, still alive.
    Fiona: Shot right between the eyes! (beat) That's exactly what would have happened if I hadn't had gotten that door closed! Luckily I got my second wind.
  • After the death of the bandit leader, Zer0 gets a call from Moxxi.
    Zer0: My quest is not done.
    Moxxi: My reward for you is gonna be long, hard, and powerful.
    Zer0: Gortys remains out of reach.
    Moxxi: It's a rocket launcher!
    Zer0: Yes. Innuendo. [hangs up and shakes his head in frustration]
    • Look closer to Zer0's side of the above conversation. It's still a haiku. That man... or whatever he is... is dedicated to his craft.
    • Speaking of the Bossanova's Death there's this gem after Zer0 delivers the fatal blow.
    Bossanovoa: MY SUB-WOOFER
    Zero: :)
  • At the start of the chariot race, Fiona's given the opportunity to make a quip, if you choose 'You're the man now':
    Fiona: You're the man now, dog!
    Vaughn: What?
    Fiona: I don't know.
  • Vaughn has the same reaction when she's trying to psych him up before the race and he's on the bike.
    Fiona: "Rev the engines on your life, Vaughn!"
    Vaughn: "What does that mean?"
  • If you dare to skip the ending credits,
  • If you choose to headbutt the Psycho whose chariot you stole, he'll happily declare you friends in Psycho-ese. Later in the same scene, Vaughn asking him to help Fiona gets this gem of a response:
    Psycho: (laughing) Pretend I'm a good person!
    • Alternatively, Fiona can engage in some Psycho-ese herself to convince the Psycho NOT to kill Vaughn:
    Fiona: Roll out the barrel!! I'll draw your blood!!
    (Beat. Psycho goes from trying to strangle Vaughn to Glomping him.)
    Psycho: MEAT-BUDDIES RIDIN' THE DEATH TRAIN!
    • If Fiona doens't intervene at all, Vaughn comes out with some pseudo-accountancy speak to confuse the Psycho, who reacts with just as much glee!
  • August attempting to shoot Fiona, Felix and Sasha after the deal goes wrong. Of course, he's missing them, as his Jakobs Widow Maker has a Torgue barrel (which pretty much negates accuracy for damage), but the funny thing is that he's also indirectly helping Zer0 by shooting every other Psycho instead.
  • The game gives you the option of calling Rudiger (the bandit who sics his buddies on Rhys and Vaughn in Properity Junction) "Grease Face". If you do, his title card will say "Grease Face: He has a greasy face".
    Grease Face will remember that.
  • The insults from Sasha while she's trying to distract August (so Fiona can place the EMP).
    Sasha: They've had this dumb look on their dumb faces from the moment they walked in!
  • Then just after that, August is trying to talk her down, and he says "Look at his face!" in regards to Rhys, whose expression goes from encouraging smile to kicked-puppy in a heartbeat.
    August: What's wrong with his face?!
    Sasha: You can't trust a face like that! They've been all 'yes sir' and 'no sir' and 'we have the money right here sir'!
    Vaughn: Nothing you're saying is a bad thing!
  • Vasquez's deal to Rhys in the arena:
    Vasquez: You scratch my nuts, I'll scratch yours.
    Rhys: Scratch your own nuts!
    Sasha: Really?
    Vasquez: Oh, I'll scratch 'em! I'll scratch 'em real hard!
  • The Museum of Curiosities. "Killed by stairs!"
  • The fact that August and Sasha, natives to a planet where bandits regularly impale people and Vault Hunters smash through frozen poop to get money, are disgusted by the mental imagery of Vasquez being stuck in the executive toilet on Helios.
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    Atlas Mugged 
  • Vaughn's line in the trailer.
    Vaughn: The list of things that might kill us keeps getting longer. Rakks, skags, bandits, dehydration, heat stroke, regular stroke, stroke stroke... I've never felt so ALIVE!
  • Sasha and Fiona trying to 'enhance' the Gortys Project map:
    Sasha: Computer! Enhance!
    Fiona: Enhance.
    Sasha: Enhance!
    Fiona: Enhance!
    Sasha: Enhance... computer images!
    (cut to Vaughn facepalming)
  • Also, Vaughn wearing a turban.
  • Finch and Kroger having this exchange with Fiona and Sasha:
    Kroger: You're pointing a gun at a man who lets people shoot him in the chest for fun.
    Finch: I'm usually drunk... and charge 40 bucks.
    • For veteran Telltale fans, the fact that Lee and Bigby are nutty bounty hunters is enough to crack them up.
    • Finch's splash screen tells you not to talk about his hair. So, of course, what's one of the first things Fiona can say it him? Then of course, there's this:
      Kroger: Why you got a pan going for a sandwich?
      Sasha: I like an egg on it.
      Kroger: Ok, that's valid.
      Finch: I like it when the yoke is runny.
  • The Reveal that Vaughn, of all people, has a six pack. And Vin Diesel's arms, apparently.
    • Even better, nearly everyone that sees them comments on it.
      Rhys: You are weirdly buff, dude.
      Jack: He is pretty yolked. I gotta say I'm a little envious of the definition he's got going. Saving the world doesn't leave you much time for the gym.
      Vasquez: Listen, I'm gonna go see if I got a shirt in the trunk, 'cause your body is making me uncomfortable.
  • Loaderbot's Flat "What" just after Vasquez stops him using the universal remote.
  • Scanning the power boxes required to open the Atlas facility with Rhys' eye shows Hyperion making increasingly malicious accusations about Atlas, like "this power box most likely runs on dead babies and puppies". It culminates in Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, as the last one accuses Atlas employees of leaving the refrigerator door open overnight.
  • The Reveal that General Pollux was alive and unconscious, even while you scooped his eye out with a spork is both this and Nightmare Fuel.
  • AI Jack sticking his arm out through Vaughn's crotch and talking with his hand like a puppet, which is supposed to represent Vaughn's penis. Since only Rhys can see Jack (and only Rhys knows about him as you must keep Jack a secret to get this scene), as far as Vaughn can tell, Rhys is just staring at his junk for no reason, and the two have a very uncomfortable moment.
    Vaughn will try to forget that.
  • If you reveal to Vaughn that Rhys can see Handsome Jack, Vaughn will comment on the remarkable odds that someone who's obsessed with Jack would be the one to see him. Cue Rhys rambling on how he's not really obsessed, while Jack looks on in mild concern. Leads to the Telltale message:
    Not creepy at all.
  • Rhys, Fiona and the Stranger are looking for a ride while Rhys is telling his story and find a bandit repairing a large truck. Fiona tells the Stranger to let him finish. The Stranger promptly shoots the bandit.
    The Stranger: Oh. Wait. You were talking about him? Or...? Who were you talking about? I'm sorry. Please continue. Oh. Last thing. One of you will have to change a tire.
    • In the alternate version of this scene, where Rhys and Vaughn decided to go to Hollow Point, the Stranger does heed Fiona's advice... until Fiona and Rhys starts bickering and the Stranger shoots the bandit just to shut the pair of them up (also the bickering was getting loud enough for the bandit to conceivably hear them and start attacking).
  • Yet another reveal! Vasquez was originally bald, and Jack stuck money in his hair implants for fun.
  • Athena... being nervous that her girlfriend Janey might find out that she's taking bounties again even though she promised not to. The whole scene is hilarious.
    • Also Athena lying about chasing Fiona is just hilarious because it's really not convincing. Similarly, her denial that the shield Fiona is taking is hers is really funny.
      Athena will REALLY remember that.
    • Sasha laughing awkwardly to defuse the tension leads to Scooter laughing awkwardly too.
      Scooter: Ha ha ha. What are we laughing at? Ha ha. 'Cause it's weird? We're laughing 'cause it's weird, right?
  • Scooter making a pose at the camera during his splash screen... and then Fiona tries to figure who he's posing for.
    • Then he tries to become Fiona's sponsor as a death racer. If she accepts, she has the option to 'Sell Out' and says "Caaaaaaatch-aaaaa-riiiiiiiide!" in a really unconvincing voice, while making a confused face and doing jazz hands.
    • If she doesn't accept, Sasha walks in to charm Scooter, and a pink, dreamy background appears behind her as Scooter's completely captivated.
  • Vasquez fondly remembers the special rapport he had with Jack, where Jack would always punch him in the face whenever they met. Jack's AI ghost.... still can't remember him at all.
    Jack: I punched my own mom for crissakes!
    • Rhys has the option to express his jealousy over Jack abusing Hugo... only for some players to discover he's not jealous of Jack, but of Vasquez.
  • The playful, friendly, come-here-buddy tone Jack takes while he's trying to throttle Rhys.
    Jack: Hey, come here, cupcake. Let me try to rip your throat out one more time. Just one more time. C'mere!
  • Rhys and Vaughn's ah, broment.
    • Which later follows by Fiona exaggerating it in a hilarious way, both of them use of the word "bro" making Rhys annoyed with her.
    Rhys: We don't talk like that!
    Fiona: Bro-bro-bro! Bro-bro! Brobrobrobro!
    Rhys: Are you done?
  • Scanning Sasha with the ECHO Eye will reveal a list of her known aliases, which are 'The Dread Grifter', 'Nikki "Trigger Finger" Mendez' and 'DJ Rakk Attakk'
  • When you are given the choice to have Rhys and Vaughn either go to Hollow Point to meet up with the girls or go directly to Old Haven, Rhys will ramble on at length about just how important this decision is and how important it is to think it through first.
  • Try skipping the ending credits of this episode, having done so in the previous episode:
  • The Rakk Hive's intro screen.
    Rakk Hive
    It's a skin condition.
  • Rhys' bad karma for having Loader Bot self-destruct. Every time it carries him and Vaughn, it will set Vaughn down gently, then dump Rhys on his butt as embarrassingly as possible. Then, during the bro-fist moment, it will say "Not you" when Rhys attempts to bro-fist it, leading Vaughn to say "Told you we should've had it evacuate." Then if you try to talk to Loader Bot at Old Haven, it will say "Activating Rejection Mode."
  • The Brick Joke of Rhys' bare sock, commented on by both Vasquez and Fiona. If he doesn't get his shoe back, he even stands in some garbage with his nice sock.
  • Rhys gets hit in the face again, leading to the Telltale message in the corner:
    Why is it always the face?
  • August calmly talking to Fiona and getting to the end of the passage fairly quickly is contrasted by a horribly bored Rhys and an extremely pissed off Jack standing in the middle of the corridor, listening to Vasquez rant about how amazing he is for hours on end.
  • As tense as the cliffhanger is, August and Sasha bickering while Vaughn gets irritated at Vasquez for aiming a gun at him again is pretty funny.
  • After the end of the level, as there were some really big choices in the episode, it showed what percentage of players made the choices you did. While some were very divided, there was one meaningless choice that was near unanimously agreed upon.
    End Slate: ~88.4% of players bro-fisted Vaughn.

    Catch A Ride 
  • Essentially, Gortys is like a happy, cheerful child that is also incredibly flirty.
  • Choosing to trust Handsome Jack over Fiona naturally comes with several hilarious moments and consequences.
    • Not entirely devoid of gratitude for letting him go wild on Vasquez and August's men, Jack lets Rhys control a drone. A small, banged-up, rusty drone that can only taze people. The two of them jointly decide to call it "Dumpy".
    • Dumpy eventually craps out, but Rhys repairs him. Except his voice chip is still busted, so whenever he "speaks", it sounds not unlike the screams of the damned. By all accounts it should be Nightmare Fuel, but it manages to be hilarious. Content cut from the chapter would have had him become capable of speech. It still would've been horrifyingly hilarious.
    • Rhys can recommend that the team fight their way out of the facility. And by the team, he means Sasha, Fiona, and Loader Bot.
    • In an effort to make an exit for the team, Loaderbot tries to topple the globe held up by the Atlas statue in the middle of the room. He decides to accomplish this by planting his hands on the nude, marbled posterior of the statue. Rhys is a little disturbed by this course of action, doubly so when he has to help Loaderbot and is forced to look through the robot's lens right into the aforementioned butt.
  • If you chose Fiona in the previous episode, Vaughn ends up paralyzed at the beginning of this one, and spends fully half the episode strapped to Loader Bot's back.
    • During the infiltration through the facility, Fiona and Rhys meet two turrets that can be destroyed by throwing something in the middle of their crossfire. Rhys suggests that Fiona throws her hat. It's one of the few moments that she loses her cool, and sounds like a child.
      Fiona: B-but I like my hat.
  • Fiona lying about how she took out Vallory ala Rhys' glamorous fib from the first episode.
    • If you choose to 'Cut the deal off', Fiona steals Vallory's knife after an amazing backflip and cuts her into pieces.
    • If you choose 'Make her head spin', Fiona kicks her to the side and tosses her flashbang grenade at Vallory, then shoves it into her mouth. Fiona walks away like a badass as the moment Vallory explodes, complete with Vallory's head sliding down near Rhys and her glasses landing perfectly over Fiona's eyes as an announcer shouts "DEAL WITH IT".
    • On both accounts, the Stranger doubts her story as the weapons she use doesn't work that way. Cue these lines:
      Stranger: That's not how it works!
      Rhys: And that's not how it happens!
    • The text prompt you get from the UI if you choose to rat out Vasquez for the failure of the deal is also darkly amusing, considering what Vallory does to him moments afterward.
      Vallory will remember that. ...oh yeah, and so will Vasquez.
  • Vasquez getting his chest blasted open courtesy of a shotgun? Visceral, but not very funny. Vaughn getting shellshocked from seeing that happen in front of him? Again, not very funny. A shellshocked Vaughn poking Vasquez's corpse with a stick? Priceless. Doubly funny when Athena asks Fiona what the hell is wrong with him.
  • Gortys attempts to drag Vasquez's corpse along for the adventure, not understanding that the man is dead. This just a minute after she nonchalantly mentioned how her creation was hindered by Athena murdering so many Atlas employees.
    Gortys: Come on, slowpoke! Time's a wastin'!
  • If Fiona chooses to tell Gortys that Vasquez is actually dead, the little robot is greatly saddened by the reveal. However, when Rhys adds that Vasquez was a really rotten guy, she perks up and says, "Good riddance then!"
  • Athena and Sasha get some target practice by attacking a Handsome Jack billboard.
  • Jack's horrified reaction to his beautiful billboard getting wrecked is priceless, even though only Rhys can see it.
  • Fiona amuses herself by tossing playing cards either at Rhys to annoy him while he's fixing Dumpy or into Vaughn's open mouth while he's paralysed.
  • Rhys and Vaughn using the latter's rare and advanced Atlas wristwatch to play Pong. It's not a very big wristwatch.
  • Sasha decides to make some breakfast with eggs she found in the desert. This being Pandora, no one's particularly eager to give the meal a try.
  • How Athena copes with losing a game of Bunkers & Badasses.
  • If she didn't return it to him in the previous chapter, Fiona will chuck Rhys' lost shoe at him during the title sequence to keep him awake while he's at the wheel. Otherwise, Rhys will doze off and Jack with protrude his fingers through Rhys' chest and laugh as Rhys tries not to cause a scene.
  • Should Rhys choose to try and tell Athena about Jack, his arm will give him a rapid-fire Dope Slap.
    Athena: Who are you talking to?
    Rhys: Hand- (robotic arm repeatedly slaps his face) Ow, ow, owowowow!
  • Try to high-five Jack on the roof. He'll quickly admit that he didn't think it through.
  • Rhys reveals that he still feels bad about what happened to Henderson, his old boss. Jack then reveals that the man was a massive racist and ran a "kitten fighting ring"; that is, an underground fight sport where grown men beat kittens to death. This causes Rhys' opinion of Henderson to nosedive. It also does not take long for Jack to admit he thought the "kitten fighting rings" were entertaining.
  • Gortys and Loader Bot discussing Rhys' weird taste in clothing.
  • If Loader Bot is on good terms with Rhys, when asked to move rubble:
    Loader Bot: (to Gortys) My human needs me.
    • Even better? After he's done, he pats Rhys on the head for a job well-done.
  • For those that sided with Jack, all of the Jack-apedia entries. Highlights include rating the entire cast's hotness, bemoaning the fact Rhys keeps stopping to scan mushrooms and weird trees, trying to guess Athena's age, and Jack's antics. Oh, and when you scan a killer plant, he immediately decides he wants it as a pet.
  • Athena continuing her habit of randomly dropping that she was tricked into killing her sister into a conversation, and Fiona's reaction to it.
    Fiona: You are the worst at conversations!
  • Not long after, if you choose to use General Pollux's eye to get through a door, Athena will say that it's the weirdest thing she's ever seen.
    Athena: That is so weird! Your carrying that around is the weirdest thing I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot of weird things!
    Fiona: It is not that weird.
    Athena: Oh my god! Yes! Yes it is.
  • If you initially decide to not trust Jack, and then change your mind, when you talk with him on the roof of the caravan you'll get this.
    Handsome Jack: I'll remember that.
    Handsome Jack will remember that.
    [Jack looks up at the UI text and points at it in confusion].
    Handsome Jack: What the hell is that?
  • After Jack takes over Rhys's body after he gets knocked out, makes him look like an asshole in front of everyone while speaking like he did in Borderlands 2, slaps Sasha's ass and promptly gets knocked out by Sasha, Loader Bot says his most emotive line yet:
    Loader Bot: What in the hell was that?!
  • Vallory appears, plus Finch and Kroger. Fiona is just about to meet angry Lee when Vallory scolds him like he's a kid caught eating her freshly-baked gingerbread house.
    Finch: (stomping menacingly towards Fiona) All right, that's enough!
    (Vallory holds up her hand)
    Vallory: Calm down, Finch.
    Finch: She's the one that burnt/shocked/corroded up my hair!
    Kroger: Come on, dude. You still got a little left.
    Finch: (whining) Please, just-just let me shoot hat girl in the face. Just her—
    Vallory: Get back in the truck, you're being a nuisance!
  • Also, August panicking once he realises his Mob Boss mother is going to scold him.
  • For veteran Borderlands players, pissed-off Athena is hilarious.
  • When Gortys notices a paralysed Vaughn...
    Gortys: Your friend is crying. Is he crying 'cause he's sad or happy?
  • If you don't have Jack-a-Pedia and scan the Tube Worm Colony regularly, it appears that, from what the entries say, that two of the people helping with the information processing from Helios are currently having a small war over their partner sleeping with their wife.
  • Athena doing a FlashStep over to Fiona, to ask if Atlas's coffee machines are still working, because they made the best lattes. She is disgusted to find that it doesn't work.
  • Sasha pretending to plummet to her death in a pointedly dramatic I Will Only Slow You Down moment to mess wtih Rhys.
  • If you trusted Fiona at the end of episode 2, Vaughn gets paralyzed by a stray bullet while escaping from the Atlas facility and stays frozen until Fiona stabs him in the chest with an Insta-Health Vial. For some reason, Vaughn just decides to leave the needle there for the rest of the scene.
  • August bickering with his mother. For example:
    Vallory: Are you sassing me, son?
    August: You said get it, and I said I got it. How's that sassing?
  • Near the end of the episode, Gortys decides to play tag with August's customized technical while Rhys and Sasha chase after her on...legless Loader Bot, who is moving his arms very fast. Also, Rhys now has Loader Bot as his personal attack horse.
    Rhys: CHAAAAAAAARGE! (BFG points at him) Nevermind! Other way, other way!
  • August being more concerned about his truck than his (overly determined) bandits is hilarious as well.
    August: You're scratching up the hood, and now you owe me a new window!
  • Rhys gets a quicktime event to roll out of the way of August's gun, or rather, flop across the hood while August stares at him in utter confusion. Then August immediately starts laughing at him, and chews him out for thinking he can dodge a bullet, something that even Vault Hunters have difficulty doing.
  • It's just as, if not, funnier, if you don't take the QTE:
    Rhys: No, no! Don't shoot me, don't shoot me—
    August: Hey, don't do that! I feel weird shooting someone in the fetal position.
    • The best part is how casually August says this while they're in the middle of a very high-speed chase.
  • Oh yes, and August and Sasha have the usual ex vs ex spat while performing a tug of war with Gortys's chassis upgrade, as Rhys rolls his eyes and his expression yells "I can't stay on this hood forever, you two!"
    August: WE NEVER OFFICIALLY BROKE UP YOU KNOW!
    Sasha: YES WE DID!
    August: NO. NOT OFFICIALLY!
    Sasha: WELL THEN I OFFICIALLY—
    August: WHICH IS WHY I'M OFFICIALLY BREAKING UP WITH YOU NOW!
    Sasha: OH MY GOD, YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND!
    August: IT'S FUNNY YOU SAY THAT, 'CAUSE I WAS JUST THINKING, "MAN I MUST SEEM PRETTY NUTS RIGHT NOW."
  • And, the reaction to Gortys's new legs:
    [Rhys and Sasha stare in astonishment]
    August: ...What the hell?
    Loader Bot: Nice gams.
    Gortys: Thanks!
  • What follows next is another chase, but it's even funnier, because now Gortys is carrying Loader Bot, who Rhys and Sasha are now sitting on.
    Loader Bot: This is the greatest moment of my li-
    (cue Bandit rocket launcher)
    (cue Loader Bot ripping off a very thick tree branch and using it to swat missiles away)
  • When Rhys is captured by Vallory and her bandits, he has the option to deliver a great Bait-and-Switch Comparison worthy of Jack himself.
    Rhys: I don't know what I should be more afraid of. The oversized piece of crap that belches fire... or the rocket launcher she's holding.
  • Vallory pulls put her shiv when Athena arrives, preparing to slice up Fiona and co. However, August panics and stops her from doing so.
    August: MOM! Not here!
  • If you blame August for the deal going wrong, Vallory will rip off his nose ring, and then tell him to stand in the corner and think about what he's done wrong like a kid.
    Vallory: Son, come over here.
    (August steps forward)
    Sasha: Uh, that's your mom?
    August: Look, Ma...I know you're mad, but-
    Vallory: You went behind my back, and you made another mess...now I have to come in and clean up after you. Ugh...Story of my life. (She rips out his nose ring)
    August: Aaaughh!! Ma!
    Vallory: (cheerfully) Now stand over there and think about what you've done.
  • When going over why the group shouldn't trust Cassius, Fiona can finish with "...and his cat probably sucked."
    • Cassius's reaction to this is equally as hilarious.
      Cassius My cat may have sucked, but he was the finest sucky cat on this god-forsaken rock!
  • In the battle with Fiona and Athena against Brick and Mordecai, we get a line from the charging bull in true Brick fashion.
    Brick: PAIN TRAIN COMIN'! WOO WOO!

     Escape Plan Bravo 

  • Rhys explaining his "plan" and burping mid-sentence, and the hilarious fact that it was not scripted, it was Troy Baker himself - but they left it in.
  • The Intro Sequence:
    • Rhys looks over to Sasha with a soft smile which she gladly returns. This would be just plain heartwarming if Fiona didn't also lean into Rhys' POV over Sasha with a look of pure angry disgust... followed by Scooter leaning in to look at her.
    • Rhys, after narrowly managing to avoid vomiting in the previous episode and this one, he does... Right into August's face, while they're in their ship. August attempts to release himself to escape, but it doesn't do him any good. Made especially funnier by the fact that, due to being in zero-G, the vomit is travelling at August in slow mo while his reaction is in real time.
  • If you chose to tell Gortys that the late Vasquez was having a bit of a stomach problemnote , she gives this gem when the ship is about to fly into Henderson's corpse:
    Gortys: Uh-oh. Looks like someone else isn't feeling well!
  • Rhys, when getting the fact that Gortys' last piece is in Jack's office, uses the Enhance Button voice command. This time it works.
    Fiona: Oh great, so you can say it.
  • Once they land on Helios, Rhys (disguised as Vasquez) has the option of referring to the guards as ladies.
    Rhys: Sup ladies? Whatcha been doing? Talking about boys?
    Captain: No. Just discussing casual misogyny and how it manifests in corporate executives.
    Rhys: ...Oh. Yeah...well, uh. Just kidding around.
    Guard: And boys. The captain's brother is finally marrying his boyfriend!
    Captain: (dead serious) This is the happiest I've ever been.
    • Rhys's deer-in-the-headlights reaction from the captain's intellectual response is priceless.
  • Rhys's Vasquez disguise, or " Rhys-quez" is proposed with a character intro card captioned "Jack's inside Rhys who is inside Vasquez", and is made by scanning the severed face of Vasquez's corpse.
    • When Rhys discovers Vasquez's corpse has no face he freaks out and while looking for his face Rhys is so grossed he can barely form coherent sentences every time he remembers it. It gets even worse once he does find it and has to peel Vasquez's face out of a Psycho's mask.
      Jack: (giggling) Yeahhhhhh, go on. Peel that face off like a serial killer... You're sick!
    • Then the Psycho wakes up. Rhys runs for it, Jack... goes for something a little different:
      Rhys: RUN!
      Jack: You're the only one running, pal, I can flyyyy!
      (cue Jack flying alongside Rhys like Peter Pan)
      • The Psycho chases Rhys all the way back to Old Haven's entrance. Finch immediately draws his Unkempt Harold, which fires exploding bullets and opens fire. The threat is neutralized...and so is Vasquez's body.
        Rhys: Oh...man...we were supposed to bring back the body.
        Kroger: (glaring at Finch) Well, it's gonna take a little longer to collect now.
        Finch: I got some baggies in the truck.
        (He walks off as Rhys and Kroger share a "Can you believe this guy?" look and exasperated gestures)
      • The fact that Vasquez's corpse's head really does have an implant that Jack used to stick money into.
  • During the scene when Sasha and Fiona are trying on their new outfits, one of your first dialogue options is an apology - put there in case you revealed your homicidal source of information - but it still shows up even if you have nothing to apologize for. You can actually click on it just fine, causing a pretty hilarious exchange.
    Rhys: So, uh...I'm sorry about earlier.
    Sasha: Uhh, for what?
    Rhys: Oh, nothing in particular. Just like to throw apologies out there in case I missed something, you know, uh... Better to play it safe.
    Sasha: (looking bewildered) That's...a thing to do.
    • Even better, it's a jab at the player who fell for the trap when they'd in fact done nothing wrong.
  • Fiona's tour. You have the option of using knowledge of the previous games to answer correctly... or not. Of course, the tour group are too busy fanboying, so even if you lie, they'll take your word as fact.
    • And then when that one idiot gets himself vaporized by the force field protecting Jack's office. The guard on duty stares at Fiona, who is certain that her cover has been blown. Then...
      Guard: (angrily) I'm not cleaning that shit up again! (leaves in a huff)
    • Alternately, you can get the entire tour group vaporized, which makes the guard's above comment even funnier.
      Guard: (less angry) Oh man. (shakes his head) You're on your own, lady. I ain't cleaning that shit up again!
    • At one point in the tour the group stops at a chair and Fiona can oversell a simple chair as the very chair Jack used to make every decision ever and stress that there is no sitting in The Chair. And then a guard comes out and plops down on it after a comment about coming back from the bathroom.
    • One of Fiona's dialogue options to why she pointed out the chair is this:
    Fiona: (cheerfully) That was a test, people. And you all failed.
    Tour Group Leader (utterly dumbfounded) Wait, what? How does that work?
  • When Fiona needs to get arrested, she can shoot the statue of Butt Stallion. It bleeds.
    Fiona: (horrified) What—what was that?
    Guard: Nothing! You saw nothing!
    • As the guard drags Fiona away, she has a completely bewildered expression on her face, while Gortys is being led daintily by the hand by the same guard.
      Gortys: Maybe it's just filled with strawberry jam?
    • Rhys walks in on the guard 'interrogating' Fiona. And by 'interrogating', we mean both of them arguing about Butt Stallion's ability to bleed.
      Guard: You saw nothing, ok? Sometimes the light plays tricks... makes a statue look like it's seeping blood, but it's all just in your head.
      Fiona: I know a bleeding statue when I see one—
      Guard: YOU KNOW NOTHING!
  • Ladies and Gentlemen: Handsome Jack, who hasn't used swear words since a very small amount of occasions in Borderlands 2, breaks his personal code.
    Jack: (to Rhys) Too late, live in your shittiness.
  • Also, this:
    August: (addressing Rhys) You're shittin' me.
    Gortys: (cheerily) I wouldn't know how!
    (August quietly freaks out and shuts off the radio)
    • Speaking of August and Gortys:
      Fiona: August, watch Gortys.
      Gortys: (to Fiona) I'll miss you!
      August: Just hurry up. I don't like being alone with this thing.
      Gortys: (to August, gasps) But I like you so much!
      Fiona: (slams door)
  • The entire fake gunfight sequence against the Hyperion accountants, which is presented like a typical gun fight. Never have finger gun fights been so epic and so hilarious...very much helped by how there were somehow enough accountants close around to make them provide a Zerg Rush befitting of an action film.
    • Among the most hilarious moments are an accountant throwing a fake grenade and Rhys batting it back with a table leg, followed by him walking up to another accountant and pulling the fake pin on the fake grenade in his vest and slowly walking away. Or whipping out a fake knife and throwing it into an accountant's eye, causing him to dramatically slide down the ramp.
    • The fact that there's a splash panel for the Badass Accountant (Definitely a Virgin).
      Badass Accountant: He's out of bullets! I've been counting.
      • Rhys actually did mime running out of ammo before he says that. Which is either ridiculous or impressive depending on your point of view.
    • When the Badass Accountant fires his rocket, Rhys dodges, and a bunch of other accountants get launches away by the explosion... except one guy who misses his cue, and loudly screams a moment later and hurls himself to the side.
    • If you fail the quicktime events, the original accountant will complain that's you're "making a mockery of the Hyperion finger-gun tradition," realize you're not actually Vasquez, and then all the accountants will draw real guns and shoot Rhys.
    • At the end of the fake gunfight, there's a Hyperion janitor looking at the whole thing and shaking his head in annoyance. Also, during the entire fight, that one Hyperion guy is still walking around in the background making his phone call, oblivious.
    • The fact the whole fight is a company tradition implies that this happens every day.
  • Rhys-quez. The dialogue options are amazing.
  • When Fiona and Sasha go back to Scooter's shop for his help in the mission.
    Scooter: You look like two good-natured gals, and I will never turn down an opportunity to help a couple ladies, especially when I got a crush on one of 'em, and I will not say who, no matter what! Fiona. SHOOT!
    • When moving onto step two of the plan to save the failing ship.
      Scooter: (hushed) Step three is us makin' out.
      Fiona: What?
      Scooter: Huh?
      Fiona: Huh?!
      Scooter: What?!
    • Later becomes a Heartwarming Moment/Tear Jerker when Scooter commits his Heroic Sacrifice and Fiona has the option to do step three before he dies.
  • The (surprisingly few) segments in the present are chuckleworthy. Of note is when Rhys tries to make a break for it, and Fiona chooses not to.
    The Stranger: That's a weird way to run.
    Fiona: He's zig-zagging. It apparently makes him harder to hit.
    The Stranger: Of course.
  • Later on you have to dodge meteors as Fiona...and you do so by zigzagging.
  • August calls Rhys a jerkoff... which reminds him that he's been meaning to ask Rhys whether or not he uses his cybernetic arm to, well, jerk off.
    August: Which one, jerkoff? Ooh, actually, I was wondering about that. (cue Fascinating Eyebrow) When you do your business, do you use your robo hand or your real one?
  • If you pick to put the "See you, space cowboy..." message on Scooter's satellite, one of the guards on Hyperion lampshades it.
    Guard: And what's that you put on there? Somethin' about — anime?
    • Made funnier because the Guard Captain next to him is voiced by Steve Blum.
  • A potential exchange in Rhys-quez's conversation with Yvette.
    Yvette: What happened to Rhys?!
    Rhys: Well, uh, Rhys had a little accident.
    Yvette: He's in pieces!
    Rhys: I know. Rhys's pieces, it's terrible. His death, not the pun.
  • Whenever Rhys tries to speak in Vasquez's voice without using the voice changer (such as after it breaks). Funnier: The jail scene towards the end of the episode is Troy Baker doing a Warburton impression, which fooled more than a few players. But even better? It wasn't Baker's best Warburton impression. Telltale discovered that Baker's impression was so spot-on, no one could tell the difference, so they had to have him re-do the lines badly.
  • Examining Jack's chair in his office:
    Rhys: (admiring the chair and feeling the fabric with his hand) So, this is where it all happened, huh?
    Jack: If by "it", you mean all the sex me and my girlfriend had, then yes.
    Rhys: (abruptly pulls his hand away from the chair) Eww.
  • August's reaction to the sisters' new outfits:
  • Rhys-quez puts on his game face from Episode 1, complete with dramatic bass drum. Sasha and August's reactions?
    (Rhys-quez turns to August and Sasha with a terrifying grimace on his face)
    (August raises an eyebrow in confusion, then glares in disgust and turns to look at Sasha, who is equally disgusted.)
  • Rhys's Unfolding Plan Montage (for a plan which goes on to be surprisingly successful, in fact!) includes him doing a round of Hollywood Hacking.
    Rhys: (smirks) I am a living god.
  • How did Handsome Jack get the deed to the Atlas Corporation? He loaded the CEO's dog into a gun and fired it at his daughter, then stole the deed from the crime scene while making farting noises at the CEO as he loaded his dog and daughter into an ambulance. We must stress that we didn't make a word of that up.
  • If you pick the right dialogue option after the choice to reveal Jack's existence to Fiona and Sasha, you get this:
    Rhys: Here's why you don't need to worry. Because we're friggin' Team Awesome—and August—that's why. Together, nothing can stop us. Bring it for the real thing. Let's hug it out!
    Fiona: Uhhh, no.
    Sasha: (folds arms) Don't look at me.
    August: I'll kill you.
    Rhys: (nervously) G-go team!

     The Vault Of The Traveler 
  • While playing as Fiona, you have the option to punch Yvette in the face. The thing that shows up as you do? "Yvette's face will remember that."
    • If you don't punch her in the face, she gets startled by Sasha and Gortys taking out her men. When she turns around, she slips on all the blood and guts strewn about and gets knocked out when she falls face-first on the floor. The same message shows up.
  • If you chose to rule Hyperion with Jack, you can see Jack throwing a little dance party in the monitors to celebrate. Complete with disco ball!
  • When Sasha and Rhys meet again, if you chose to reject Hyperion, they flirt a little bit, and in the background August(If you picked him for the mission) looks away, disgusted.
  • Telltale teased that if you saved up all your money across the series, you'd get a special bonus - this bonus, as revealed towards the end game, is to pay for another Vault Hunter - the silhouettes hint that it could either be Lilith, Krieg or (strangely) Nisha, but who does it end up being? Claptrap. What? You didn't think they'd get him in there somewhere?
    • The thing that shows as the mystery vault hunter is revealed, "Oh... my... gawd..."
    • It gets even better. If you have Fiona ask about Claptrap's refund policy, he reveals that he spent it all and made some questionable decision. That's right. Nine million dollars spent by a robot. Makes you wonder just what he spent it all on.
    • Oh, and it appears that Claptrap has finally snapped and has begun venting his rage through liberal usage of Cluster F-Bomb.
  • Rhys hoped that his skills at fist-bumping would give Gortys a Rocket Punch, but it ends up doing absolutely nothing. However, Gortys can learn how to rocket punch for real... from August.
  • A possible choice for Rhys's very first act as the President of Hyperion: Order a pizza for himself.
  • Sasha has a long, drawn out death scene, she says one last goodbye to her sister, everybody cries... and she says she's not dead yet. She just kinda lays there, waiting, until they realize Felix's watch is healing her.
    • Then the watch levitates her into the air, scanning and repairing her entire body to heavenly music... and then it drops her from a good twenty feet, causing her to land on her arm and break it.
      Gortys: (as cheery as ever) Oh yeah. That's broken.
      Sasha: Why would something that's supposed to help me do that!?
    • Before the watch kicks in, Rhys seemingly makes himself cry on purpose because he wants to know if Swiss Army Tears are a real thing.
    • If you picked Claptrap for your team, he'll say "Oh, thank god. I thought this was going to be one of those tragic endings you're suppose to find meaning in".
  • Attempting to pick Felix for your team when you didn't warn him about the bomb may result in a message saying he is "much too dead to help you out".
  • If you pick Zero for your team, Rhys will fanboy over him the whole time.
    Rhys: Oh my god, he's doing the thing!
  • If you rejected Hyperion in the last episode, Jack traps Rhys in his chair and threatens to kill him. Rhys quickly discovers the chair is on wheels. Made funnier when Jack admits that he forgot the chair had those.
  • As awesome as the sequence is, the fact that Gortys' final form is controlled with a joystick and push button setup straight out of an arcade game is hilarious. That her fight with the Traveler is one long homage to fighting games, complete with using rapid fire QTE combos for her different attacks is even more so. The pilots throw themselves into it with great relish:
    • Athena throws the last shreds of stoicism to the wind and lets her Blood Knight flag fly.
    • Cassius quickly gives up on trying to explain his moves when he realizes nobody cares and instead decides to enjoy himself. His dialogue from that point forward can be described as "every E-Sports player ever."
      Cassius: You're going to be a stadium-sized pile of goo when I'm done with you, you low-tier sonofabitch!
    • Janey is initially thrilled to be invited on the mission, but later shrugs it off as "just alright." This could be due to her actively discouraging Athena's continued Vault Hunting, however.
    • Claptrap notes that he's never been put in charge of anything so expensive before, and that Rhys is definitely going to regret letting him be so. His contribution to the fight involves Gortys getting weighed down by the sheer number of rocket launchers that digistruct onto her, firing off in random directions and having to avoid being hit by her own attack. Just as with VAULTHUNTER.EXE, you've got to work with the idiocy.
  • While trying to escape the space station, Fiona, Sasha and Gortys hear Jack calling to the rest of Helios, demanding they find Rhys for him. This leads to an amusing conversation that reveals that Gortys has no idea who Jack even is:
    Gortys: Is that Gentle Jim?
    Fiona: That, Gortys, is Handsome Jack.
    Gortys: Oh. What did I say?
    • Perhaps made funnier in that he'd referred to himself by name in his announcement, a moment before Gortys asks.
  • When the subject of Athena and Janey's wedding comes up, Janey will claim that she only wants a modest wedding...then reveals that she already blew their budget on napkin holders alone.
  • After being rescued, Gortys thanks Rhys and Fiona for saving her, and for everything else they've done for her.. and also for being cool with her driving the caravan when they weren't looking back in episode 3.
  • After Rhys unsuccessfully tries to get the Traveler's attention, he asks Gortys to try:
    Gortys: Hey you! Big freaky... glowy... big handed... handy... thing monster... how was that?
    Rhys: Well, I mean, technically you got his attention.
  • When you encounter the Children of Helios, Vaughn points out that they made a statue of Rhys, leading Rhys to point out that it's just a statue of Jack. Vaughn makes sure to note that whilst it may have once been a statue of Jack, the Children of Helios have labelled it as Rhys. Literally, they wrote "RHYS" across the chest in big letters.
    Vaughn: Most of these guys are basically shitty at everything.
    • The statue also has no head. Apparently they tried to re-shape Jack's face to look more like Rhys, but, well... shitty at everything.
  • Fion and Sasha's rather dumbfounded expressions as they're going inside the Traveler.
  • Loader Bot's hilarious deadpan reaction to being picked up by a giant Gortys and placed into her cockpit to fight the Traveler.
    Loader Bot: Oh, okay, we're doing this now.
  • If the player look at Fiona's inventory at the end of the game, she still has General Pollux's eye.
  • Near the ending, Loader Bot and Gortys walk off into the desert looking very like a certain pair of famous Star Wars characters.
  • If you skip the final credits sequence, for a brief moment the message "Ok, you're going on our Wall of Shame" will flash in the corner like one of those "(person) will remember this" messages.
  • Even when he's got a knife to her throat, Fiona can still trash-talk Kroger for her "last words".
    Fiona: I know you probably think it's your "thing", but, that mustache...it's awful. I want you to hear that 'cause I feel like a lot of people in your life are worried to tell you. Which is sad.
    (Rhys gives her a "Come on, seriously?" gesture)
    Kroger: (thoroughly annoyed) Shit talker 'til the end. Ya know, I can respect that.
  • Vaughn on Rhys complimenting his survival skills:
    Vaughn: You joke, but it definitely helped. I mean, look, obviously I'm no expert, but I was light years ahead of these pencil-pushers. I found JR from distribution eating dirt. Literally just sitting there just shoving dirt into his mouth. It was really disturbing.
  • According to Molly Maloney, in chapter 5; when they said "Rhys flips off the monitors as he runs past", they meant that he turns them off. What they got, they kept.
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