History Funny / SonicVillains

*** You heard that right-- Eggman doesn't mind being in, er… ''[[UnusualEuphemism alternative media]]'' so as he gets his good side shown.

''(cut to a TV advertisement of said "bible" with angelic choir noises in the background, followed by a brief clip of a '''[[MediumShiftGag live-action]]''' gloved hand giving a thumbs-up)''

** Taking a page out of ''WesternAnimaion/GravityFalls'', it turns out EXE!Grounder is just chanting "Backwards message!" backwards.

** For extra rudeness, Eggman didn't care to give them a bigger room to be teleported in.

'''Eggman:''' So have I. ''(sotto voce)'' Keep doing it, by the way, you all make me look fantastic!

** Boom!Shadow has to listen to [[Recap/SonicBoomS1E52ItTakesAVillageToDefeatAHedgehog yet another Eggman getting giddy over him]]:

** That only leaves [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Cubot's]] favorite music… ''dial-up noises''.
--->'''Scourge:''' Is that a [[PrecisionFStrike f**kin']] microwave?\\

** Following this, a moment of silence happens, Eggman questions how they should respond next-- and we also lied about it being "literally anyone else" since it's Sara who [[TooDumbToLive decides to deliver the punchline.]]
--->'''Sara:''' Pardon me, my lord of lardness, but isn't the answer to this peculiar question… [[YourMom "Joe Mama?"]]\\
'''Shadow:''' ''([[WideEyesAndShrunkenIrises eyes widen]] with '''absolute rage''' as Sara's "Joe Mama" echoes dramatically)''

* Infinite gets asked about the subject of his UncertainDoom at the end of ''VideoGame/SonicForces''. Eggman [[TheUnReveal prevents him from answering honestly]] and [[BlatantLies bullshits]] that he heard the "harrowing cries" of Infinite upon defeat and ''gave up on his world domination plan'' to nurse him back to health. Eggman then proclaims that the rest of the story about Infinite will be told once Sonic's defeat is broadcasted (and quietly admits that he'd still perform some ManipulativeEditing on such) before ordering Infinite to get back into his chamber with all the respect of someone ordering a cat to get off their dining table.

** Dark Oak liking Cosmo's allegiance to her version of Sonic and friends [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg (and "hairless rat child" Chris Thorndyke)]] to an over-emotional teenager going through a rebellious streak. Eggman sympathizes, remembering the time [[VideoGame/SonicHeroes when his "son" had such a "phase" of his own.]]
** What's funnier about Dark Oak's fantasy about the leaf braiding? Cosmo's look of confusion at not having much leaves to braid, or the fact that it's the ''only activity where she doesn't look terrified?''

'''Grounder:''' ''([[LiteralMetaphor stock chomping sound effect]])''
* The animated eyecatch of Rosy enthusiastically showing off her battle plans to Shadow: a crayon drawing of Sonic being hit with broken glass. And there are even rings coming out of him!

''(cut to an image of an ecstatic Rosy and horrified Scourge at a wedding altar, and cut again to a crude drawing of Rosy kicking off of said altar a Fiona Fox crying like a baby)''\\

-->'''Eggman:''' ''(clearly offended but not even incensed)'' [[ImStandingRightHere I am standing]] ''[[ImStandingRightHere right here]]''.
** [[BullyingADragon Scourge tries to heckle Naugus' speech about reclaiming his heritage]]. He promptly gets turned into a tree frog, to Rosy's absolute delight.
** Naugus even refers to Coconuts as "a sentient paperweight," something Coconuts' Robotnik once pondered doing to Grounder.
* A guy (who Eggman calls "Jason" for short due to his long username) inadvertently reveals one of Sonic's most terrible actions against Eggman… giving him the EmbarrassingNickname of [=Baldy McNosehair=]. All his subordinates respond with nothing less than ''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny laughing their asses off]]''.
** Even these guys:
--->'''Sara:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I have no understanding as to why we're laughing!]]\\
'''Shadow:''' A name so idiotic, [[NotSoAboveItAll it almost makes me smile.]]
** Eggman then prepares to retaliate by giving "hilarious" nicknames to everyone else.
--->'''Eggman:''' Orbot! Cubot! Cover your sound processors! Ya don't wanna hear this.\\

* After Orbot and Cubot (and Rosy) show off their musical talent, Eggman's impressed that, among other things, Cubot's voice chip was able to handle it for long enough. Cubot then reveals that Orbot has a voice chip glitch of his own if you bonk him on the head: he starts singing a Top 40-like song in autotune about a city where, among nothing else, women shake their asses. Eggman's oddly amused.
* Eggman answers why, despite having an ego the size of all his comrades' universes combined, he chose distinct experienced villains from every universe instead of an AllianceOfAlternates of himself: it turns out he can't stomach suffering his own InsufferableGenius traits any more than anyone else can.
-->'''Eggman:''' You know, [[VideoGame/SonicGenerations when you're stuck in a white void with your younger self for an eternity]], all that genius in one room just cancels itself out. Don't even get me started working with [[VideoGame/SonicRush that nutso descendant of mine.]] Urgh.\\

** This gets Cubot to remind Eggman of the London incident with him and [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Bowser]]. Eggman still feels justified about his actions given that his ''robots'' were still invited before he was. "That's a crime! [[DisproportionateRetribution A crime punishable by spooky death fog!]]"

** He apparently has:
'''Coconuts:''' Youse heard of this before?\\
'''Eggman:''' If I had a nickel...\\

*** The obvious presumption is that Shadow's lack of a response means he simply wasn't listening enough to care, but it's still not out of the question to guess that-- behind the lack of sequential art or animation-- he could've simply [[DeathGlare given Dingo a disapproving look]] in his own way.

*** "So… yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me."

* And lastly, Rosy and Sara decide to run off and have fun together by launching a nuke from Eggman's missile hangar to blow up a nearby town. Eggman is ''livid'' that nobody out of the ''entire group'' told him about this earlier, considering how rocket fuel doesn't grow on trees. Perhaps his mind control of Sara worked a little ''too'' well.

-->'''Shadow:''' I still don't know how he managed to [[ManipulativeEditing mix Sonic's words]] within the video [[ComicallyMissingThePoint so convincingly]]!\\

'''Scourge:''' What's your Eggman even like, anyways? Sounds to me he leans more towards [[HarmlessVillain the lame-o side]] of the scale.\\
'''Shadow:''' [[Recap/SonicBoomS1E17DontJudgeMe He once tried to fake an injury and lock Sonic into a court case]], instead of using one of his robots to kill him while he was down. All because he'd rather be… ''(in a tone '''oozing''' with disgust)'' '''''…friends with him.'''''\\

* It turns out Fleetway!Sonic (who Eggman's been keeping locked up to use his SuperpoweredEvilSide for later) [[AccentAdaptation indeed has a British accent]]. Not surprising, but an amusing trait nonetheless.
** There's also Scourge [[TheGadfly toying with him]] when he notices he's in chains and can't do anything despite his temper, including some CondescendingCompassion and calling him "Tubby". [[UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom Too bad this bites him and everyone else in the ass later.]]

-->'''Everyone else:''' [[ThisIsReality NAHHHH!]]

[[DissonantSerenity Drowns and sinks]]\\

** Predictably, EXE!Grounder only becomes even ''more'' pissed off at him for it, but what makes it funny is that he drops the [[AGodAmI God-talk]] for a second to give Dark Oak a petty TheReasonYouSuckSpeech about his terrible song and his status as a BumblingDad.
--->'''Dark Oak:''' ''(gasps and begins crying)'' [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons It's true, but he shouldn't say it!]]

--->'''Dark Oak:''' First off, I'll start by saying [[EqualOpportunityEvil I'm not into labels]]. Unless you're a nuisance ruining my plans, in that case, kiss my blade. Second, ''of course'' there's more to the work I do. I don't ''mean'' to terrify the masses and murder innocent people in an attempt to cleanse the galaxy of all its pointless conflict… ''buuuuuut'' sacrifices must be made.

-->'''Scourge:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh my gosh, Rosy! You're right! Oh, that makes me feel so much better…]] ''ya freak''.\\

--->'''Scourge:''' You need medicine.

*** Not only is Scourge not even fazed by his insult, he actually compliments Eggman for it!

*** Immediately after this, Scourge sum up pretty much everyone else's reaction to this as Bowser and his franchise are practically non-existent in their universes: "What the cuss are any of you even talking about?!"

* Likewise, Scourge wishes he was worshiped like a king with subjects that would "bow to [him] and beg at [his] feet". [[AbhorrentAdmirer Rosy]] likewise exclaims that she already does that.

** What makes Rosy's flattered response even funnier is that it's unclear whether she was being SarcasmBlind or genuinely took being called a "freak" [[TheMadHatter as a compliment]].
** Rosy's awful, ''awful'' pet names for Scourge: "my little booger ball" and "my little honeysuckle butter biscuit cream pie applesauce cherry cake with a side of… ''(slurping noise)'' bacon".

* [[BullyingADragon Scourge tries to heckle Naugus' speech about reclaiming his heritage]]. He promptly gets turned into a tree frog, to Rosy's absolute delight.

* "Ask the Eggman Empire" is sponsored by Chaos Cola!

--->'''Scourge:''' …You need medicine.

[[folder:Q&A 1: "Ask the Eggman Empire"]]

* Following the ''very'' CruelTwistEnding of Sonic.exe and Fleetway Super Sonic '''''murdering everyone else in the Q&A''''', Fleetway Super Sonic talks to the audience to assure them not to worry because the cast is [[SnapBack "only temporarily dead".]]

!!'''Q&A 1: "Ask the Eggman Empire"'''

** In light of [[UsefulNotes/Covid19Pandemic recent events]], .EXE and Super give the audience the useful advice to "stay outside", "never wash those filthy little hands" and ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice "HAVE FUN DYING!"]]''

** And following that and Sara [[FightingFromTheInside briefly glitching out over the question]], we have Dark Oak [[EvilIsHammy hammily]] looking forward to destroying Sonic:

* The Eggman gets asked about who his favorite villain in the group is (and lets everyone else answer the question for themselves as well). Shadow joyfully makes it clear to Eggman that he's now treading on ''very'' thin ice: "And don't worry, [[BlatantLies we won't judge you]], no matter how wrong you are."

--->'''Rosy:''' Well, I say life is like a ''biiiiig'' playground with no rules! You want something you don't have? Take it! You wanna wish yourself older to increase your chances of getting a date? DO IT! You need someone to pay for ''crushing your heart into a million pieces!?'' '''[[SuddenlyShouting CRUSH 'EM BACK HARDER!]] ''HARDER!''' The world is your humanoid oyster! Grab it by the neck, and STRANGLE YOUR OWN LEASH ON LIFE! (beat)'' …Is dat ''weally'' such a villainous thing to do?

--->'''Rosy:''' Well, I say life is like a ''biiiiig'' playground with no rules! You want something you don't have? Take it! You wanna wish yourself older to increase your chances of getting a date? DO IT! You need someone to pay for ''crushing your into a million pieces!?'' '''[[SuddenlyShouting CRUSH 'EM BACK HARDER!]] ''HARDER!''' The world is your humanoid oyster! Grab it by the neck, and STRANGLE YOUR OWN LEASH ON LIFE! (beat)'' …Is dat ''weally'' such a villainous thing to do?

--->'''Dark Oak:''' ''(gasps and begins sobbing)'' [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons It's true, but he shouldn't say it!]]

'''Scourge:''' Ditto. The longer this goes on, [[ComedicSociopathy the funnier it gets.]]

* And lastly, Rosy and Sara decide to run off and have fun together a la [[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries Harley and Ivy]] by launching a nuke from Eggman's missile hangar to blow up a nearby town. Eggman is ''livid'' that nobody out of the ''entire group'' told him about this earlier, considering how rocket fuel doesn't grow on trees. Perhaps his mind control of Sara worked a little ''too'' well.

* Eggman ''really'' doesn't want to think about what's happening to those two robots.
-->'''Eggman:''' All right, all right, all right, can we just answer this last question and put this on hold 'til we're done!?

** Boom!Shadow has to listen to yet another Eggman getting giddy over him:

'''Grounder:''' ''([[LiteralMetaphor chomping sound effect]])''

*** The obvious presumption is that Shadow's lack of a response means he simply wasn't listening enough to care, but it's also not out of the question to guess that-- behind the lack of sequential art or animation-- he could've simply [[DeathGlare given Dingo a disapproving look]] in his own way.

** And once everyone else is done, an energized Eggman finally gets to talk about ''his'' [[LongList reasons]] for hating Sonic. He takes a very, ''very'' deep breath and gives a [[CurseCutShort "FU-"]] before it [[RuleOfThree cuts off to another Chao Intermission]].

** The eyecatch of when Eggman used this technique to escape Sonic back in ''VideoGame/Sonic3AndKnuckles'', with Sonic being appropriately bewildered at the sight.

** And once he's done with it, almost everyone except Shadow and Scourge are ''genuinely hurt'' by their nicknames. Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts are ''bawling'', Rosy is left speechless, and Dingo and Dark Oak decide to sit in the corner together.

'''Dark Oak:''' ''(thinking over it)'' I don't… know.
** The eyecatch of when Eggman used this technique to escape Sonic back in ''VideoGame/Sonic3AndKnuckles'', with Sonic being appropriately bewildered at the sight.
[[/folder]]

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[[caption-width-right:280:"It's true! Read my bible!"]]

The fact that ''one promotional Q&A'' was enough to fill this page ''years'' before even a minute's worth of film came out should be nothing less than a triumph.

!!'''"Ask the Eggman Empire" Q&A'''

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[[caption-width-right:300:"It's true! Read my bible!"]]

!!'''Q&A 1: "Ask the Eggman Empire"'''

[[foldercontrol]]
[[folder:Q&A 1: "Ask the Eggman Empire"]]

[[quoteright:300:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/39c8a00e_05c2_4978_9da8_8d28be73f541.jpeg]]

** That only leaves [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Cubot's]] favorite music… ''dial-up noises'':

-->'''Grounder:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know! They get punished!]]\\

'''Scourge:''' No! NO! This is crazy! You're crazy, this Internet guy is crazy, and the only way we're doin' this is [[TempingFate over my dead body!]]