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* Franco's fight.
->'''Franco:''' Are you sure that’s a woman?
->'''Needles:''' Compared to her, I think ''I'' might be a woman!
** A brawl breaks out amongst the crowd. Tommy, Mike, and Chief Feinberg immediately sneak out amidst the violence.
->'''Franco:''' Are you sure that’s a woman?
->'''Needles:''' Compared to her, I think ''I'' might be a woman!
** A brawl breaks out amongst the crowd. Tommy, Mike, and Chief Feinberg immediately sneak out amidst the violence.
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* '''Franco:''' Jesus Christ, I’m bangin' a gay chick!
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* Kelly's introduction, including the knee she swings into [[GroinAttack Tommy's balls]].
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* Kelly comes to the station, looking for Franco, Black Shawn, Siletti, and Damien, but ''not'' Tommy.
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* Sean's [[ItMakesSenseInContext discolored dick]].
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* Needles declares that Franco's opponent for the "battle of the sexes" bout must be the "Meanest, ugliest, fattest, dykiest lesbo out there!" Lou replies, "[[TakeThat Hillary Clinton]] would never do this!"
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* The viewing of and running commentary on Kim Kardashian’s sex tape.
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* Garrity obliviously walks into a stare-down between Janet and Sheila, and admires Janet's new iPhone.
-->'''Garrity:''' Wow, nice! Uh, what’s a [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar cunth]]?
-->'''Garrity:''' Wow, nice! Uh, what’s a [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar cunth]]?
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* Tommy getting stuck with all of the probie's cleaning duties.
* All things relating to Needles's Russian mail-order bride.
* All things relating to Needles's Russian mail-order bride.
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* The crew at Garrity's bedside following his kidney surgery.
** Followed by the crew noticing a hot nurse in the hallway, and Mike picking her up.
->'''Franco:''' I've taught him too much.
->'''Tommy:''' Yeah, me too.
** Followed by the crew noticing a hot nurse in the hallway, and Mike picking her up.
->'''Franco:''' I've taught him too much.
->'''Tommy:''' Yeah, me too.
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* Tommy turning a hose on Black Shawn for supposedly calling Colleen a whore.
* Tommy misses a response because he’s outside the station having sex with Janet in her car. Needles and Franco catch them in the act. Needles’s reaction is ''gold''.
-> '''Needles:''' I’m just basking in this moment! This ''glorious'' moment! Because for the next ten years, ''I got you by the balls!''
* The cable repair guy.
* Tommy misses a response because he’s outside the station having sex with Janet in her car. Needles and Franco catch them in the act. Needles’s reaction is ''gold''.
-> '''Needles:''' I’m just basking in this moment! This ''glorious'' moment! Because for the next ten years, ''I got you by the balls!''
* The cable repair guy.
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* Needles and Lou try to convince Franco to try competitive boxing. Lou brags about his experience coaching "Joltin' Joel," only for Tommy to interrupt that "Joltin' Joel" has been "Slow Joel" ever since.
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* After catching Tommy in the midst of another of his ghost conversations at the bar, this one involving a shotgun, Lou assures Tommy that he'll tell the others that Tommy saw [[TakeThat "rats the size of Michael Moore."]] He then tells him about how Geneviéve hooked up with him for revenge sex.
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* Lou describing sex with Geneviéve to Franco.
* Having been constipated for days, Garrity disappears during a fire. The crew frantically search for him, as the build is about to collapse...and find him in an upstairs bathroom taking a dump.
* Having been constipated for days, Garrity disappears during a fire. The crew frantically search for him, as the build is about to collapse...and find him in an upstairs bathroom taking a dump.
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* Lou’s sex pitch to Geneviéve.
* Janet and Tommy's awkward dinner with other parents from Katy's prep school.
* Janet and Tommy's awkward dinner with other parents from Katy's prep school.
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Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
* The crew attends [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iliNaspGVDg sensitivity training]].
to:
* The crew attends [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iliNaspGVDg [[https://youtu.be/y5J2O3j9pNY sensitivity training]].
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* Tommy and Janet see a marriage counselor, who, upon hearing their story (which includes ''everything;'' even the rape is not glossed over), immediately picks up the phone to call a colleague to congratulate him on his prank. Upon realizing that it’s not a prank, he awkwardly tells them that he definitely doesn’t have the time that they need.
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* Mike paints the bar black, the lights fail, HilarityEnsues.
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* Black Shawn's mortal terror at telling Tommy that he’s dating Colleen.
** Black Shawn's mortal terror at telling Tommy ''anything'' regarding Colleen.
* Tommy’s dream about Colleen in labor.
** Black Shawn's mortal terror at telling Tommy ''anything'' regarding Colleen.
* Tommy’s dream about Colleen in labor.
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* After Tommy's dates with Feinberg's daughter go badly, we get this gem:
-->'''Needles:''' Sid, you can’t set her up with Jack the Ripper and then cry foul when she comes back without a head!
-->'''Tommy:''' [[ImStandingRightHere Hey!]]
-->'''Needles:''' Shut up, asshole. I’m defending you.
-->'''Needles:''' Sid, you can’t set her up with Jack the Ripper and then cry foul when she comes back without a head!
-->'''Tommy:''' [[ImStandingRightHere Hey!]]
-->'''Needles:''' Shut up, asshole. I’m defending you.
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* '''Franco:''' Don’t get me wrong, Chief, I love the American Flag, but I’m used to salutin' it, not jerkin' off to it.
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** Tommy then lays down, declaring that Lou has burned a hole through his soul.
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* Sean and Maggie meet with a priest to plan their wedding. After less than three minutes in a room with Maggie, the priest says, "I assisted with an exorcism in a small village outside Nairobi in 1978. Or did we meet somewhere else?"
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* Teddy and Ellie's conjugal visit keeps getting interrupted.
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* Having added Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene to the list of "ghosts" that he talks to (though they’re both much more implied to be figments of his imagination than the rest), Tommy dreams that he is having ''loud'' sex with Mary when Jesus walks in on them. Jesus is not happy. ''Jesus has a shotgun.'' Can you say CrossesTheLineTwice?
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* Garrity is terrified that Tommy will find out that he is [[spoiler: dating [[MySisterIsOffLimits his sister Maggie]]]]. Franco is telling Garrity things that make him even more nervous. Tommy knows, and is deliberately screwing with him, with Franco's assistance.
* Michael Gavin's birthday party. Nobody seems to be able to complete a sentence without saying "chink." ''In a Chinese restaurant''. Every use of the racial epithet is followed up by a "Sorry, not you, the food!" to the wait staff. It's a miracle the food doesn't come out tasting like rat poison.
* Michael Gavin's birthday party. Nobody seems to be able to complete a sentence without saying "chink." ''In a Chinese restaurant''. Every use of the racial epithet is followed up by a "Sorry, not you, the food!" to the wait staff. It's a miracle the food doesn't come out tasting like rat poison.
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* After scamming his way onto the Staten Island crew's barbershop quartet Asa means of getting to Ohio to find his kids, Tommy takes the time to give them a RousingSpeech about how they’re the FDNY, the "greatest fire department in history, even at pussy stuff like singing!"
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* After scamming his way onto the Staten Island crew's barbershop quartet Asa as a means of getting to Ohio to find his kids, Tommy takes the time to give them a RousingSpeech about how they’re the FDNY, the "greatest fire department in history, even at pussy stuff like singing!"
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* Tommy's reaction to Lou's new girlfriend, both PunctuatedForEmphasis and SuddenlyShouting:
-> Okay, I really only have one rule, and that rule is no sex! ''With nuns!'' ''IN THE PLACE!!'' '''''WHERE I LIVE!!!'''''
-> Okay, I really only have one rule, and that rule is no sex! ''With nuns!'' ''IN THE PLACE!!'' '''''WHERE I LIVE!!!'''''
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* The cockring incident. Lou cuts it off with a power grinder, which throws ''sparks''
-->'''Lou:''' Franco, ya need to hold still!
-->'''Lou:''' Franco, ya need to hold still!
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* Lou walks in on Garrity and Siletti with Garrity's fly unzipped and white powder all over the front of his pants. "Is that cocaine?" "No!" "Good. 'Cause if it is, you're doing it wrong."
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*
-->'''Sheila:''' "''This'' is butterscotch pudding I made today. I was gonna let you lick it off my tits, ''BUT YOU BLEW IT!!!"''
-->'''Tommy:''' "Yeah, well...you shoulda mentioned the pudding first!"
* After scamming his way onto the Staten Island crew's barbershop quartet Asa means of getting to Ohio to find his kids, Tommy takes the time to give them a RousingSpeech about how they’re the FDNY, the "greatest fire department in history, even at pussy stuff like singing!"
-->'''Sheila:''' "''This'' is butterscotch pudding I made today. I was gonna let you lick it off my tits, ''BUT YOU BLEW IT!!!"''
-->'''Tommy:''' "Yeah, well...you shoulda mentioned the pudding first!"
* After scamming his way onto the Staten Island crew's barbershop quartet Asa means of getting to Ohio to find his kids, Tommy takes the time to give them a RousingSpeech about how they’re the FDNY, the "greatest fire department in history, even at pussy stuff like singing!"
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Changed line(s) 5,7 (click to see context) from:
* '''Tommy:''' (''on the flowers being sent to his daughters' hospital room'') Another one!?
'''Nurse:''' Yep. This is the fourth. They're getting bigger.
'''Tommy:''' Any candy this time?
'''Nurse:''' Yep. This is the fourth. They're getting bigger.
'''Tommy:''' Any candy this time?
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* '''Tommy:''' This exchange:
-->'''Tommy:''' (''on the flowers being sent to his daughters' hospital room'') Anotherone!?
one!?\\
'''Nurse:''' Yep. This is the fourth. They're gettingbigger.
bigger.\\
'''Tommy:''' Any candy thistime?time?\\
-->'''Tommy:''' (''on the flowers being sent to his daughters' hospital room'') Another
'''Nurse:''' Yep. This is the fourth. They're getting
'''Tommy:''' Any candy this
