History Funny / NewTricks

'''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!), than instead of responding pretends to be someone else.

* Brian at the empty office in The little Brother. First he answers the phone when UCOS calls (Brian is officially off the force at that point.), he pretends to be someone else, ineffectively, drawing UCOS back. Than he prepares for an intruder by arming himself with a staple gun, and attacks said intruder by shooting staples. Fortunately, it's just his wife, who he hides with when UCOS comes back. Later, the case gets more straightforward, and Brian acts more sensibly.

'''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!

* The team are in the pub discussing the case over drinks. Someone's mobile phone rings, and they all start delving into coats and bags to look for it. Then Jack reminds Brian that he hasn't got one (ie. a mobile phone).

-->'''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!

--> '''Brian''': If you were robbing a security van and wanted to immobilise the guard inside, where would you shoot him?
--> '''Clarke''': ... The head?
--> '''Brian''': ... You'll notice, Clarkie, I said 'immobilise', not 'kill instantly in an unnecessary bloodbath'.
--> '''Clarke''': ... The leg.
--> '''Brian''': The leg! Good! Leg.
--> '''Clarke''': Or the foot.
--> '''Brian''': Let's just stick with the leg.
--> '''Clarke''': ''[Eagerly, getting a bit carried away]'' ''Both'' legs.
--> '''Brian''': ''[Exasperated]'' One leg would probably suffice!
--> '''Clarke''': But ''two'' to make sure.
--> '''Brian''': It's a thirty second situation, Clarke! You shoot a man in the leg, he's really not going anywhere.
--> '''Clarke''': But if you've already shot him in one leg, he's kind of stuck ''in situ'' while I shoot in in the other one. Might as well. Bang, number one -- he can't move. Bang, number two -- he really ''really'' can't move.
--> ''[Brian is utterly lost for words for a moment]''
--> '''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.

--> '''Sandra''': You slept with her.
--> '''Gerry''': Yeah.
--> '''Sandra''': You disgust me.
--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!

--> '''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!

* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.

* Gerry's response to a religous man's claim that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:

* Gerry's response to a religous man's glame that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:

* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.

--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!

* This exchange between Brian and P.C Clarke in the first season, discussing a security guard wounded in a robbery connected to a case, something of which has peaked Brian's interest:

--> '''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.