History Funny / NationalLampoonsChristmasVacation

*** Cue Eddie arriving with a kidnapped Mr. Shirley with a giant ribbon tied around him.

--> '''Todd''': Hey Griswold! Where you gonna put a tree that big?
--> '''Clark''': Bend over and [[AssShove I'll show you!]]
--> '''Todd''': You have some real nerve talking to me like that, Griswold...
--> '''Clark''': (''nodding to Todd's wife'') I wasn't talking to you!

--> '''Mary:''' These are cut really high in the hip. Look, I'm wearing something similar. See, you can't see the line.
--> '''Clark:''' ''(absent-mindedly)'' Can't see the line, can you Russ?
--> '''Rusty:''' Nope.
--> ''([[DoubleTake Clark stares at Rusty in shock after realising his son's there]])''

---> '''Clark:''' ''(absent-mindedly)'' Can't see the line, can you Russ?
---> '''Rusty:''' Nope.
---> ''([[DoubleTake Clark stares at Rusty in shock after realising his son's there]])''

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TYlOTajXGg&feature=related Hey Griswold! Where you gonna put a tree that big?]]
** Bend over and I'll show you!

** Just in case YouTube takes it down:

--> '''Clark:''' ''(absent-mindedly)'' Can't see the line, can you Russ?
--> '''Rusty:''' Nope.
--> ''([[DoubleTake Clark stares at Rusty in shock after realising his son's there]])''

--> '''Clark:''' Take it, Russ! (Russ stays silent while Clark and Ellen Bob their heads in rhythm to the unsung phrase)

** When Clark's lights fail the first time, Francis's derisive laugh is cut short by an alcohol-induced belch.

** Along with Clark utterly losing his shit, spewing {{Angrish}} and trashing his lawn decorations when he can't get them to light back up.

* "Oh, he's just yakking on a bone. ''(sound of Snots barfing under the table)'' He's got it up.

-->'''Clark:''' (smiling broadly) "Worse? [[TemptingFate How could things ''possibly'' get any worse?]] Take a look around you, Ellen; we're at the threshold of ''Hell!''"

* Clark [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiSt_fRPLds gets passive-aggressive]] while spreading the holiday cheer at his office.
-->'''Clark:''' (as [[BadBoss Frank Shirley]] and his suit posse pass by) Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. [[TakeThat Kiss my ass.]] [[ProfessionalButtKisser Kiss his ass.]] [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Kiss your ass.]] [[YouHaveToHaveJews Happy Hanukkah.]]

* This [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2wkwRJLW84&feature=related little diddy]] had me thrown into a gigglefest.

--> '''Police Chief:''' That's pretty low, Mister! [[PoliceBrutality If I had a rubber hose I would beat you with- ]]\\

--> ''(Clark stares at Rusty in shock after realising his son's there)''

* The [[AbsurdlyBrightLight Christmas Lights]] are this and Awesome at the same time. From the fact that they cause power outages every time Clark turns them on, to the fact that the blind the neighbors next door and send them crashing into things, and of course the fact that a nearby nuclear power plant has to increase output just to keep up.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TYlOTajXGg&feature=related Where you gonna put that tree?]]

--> '''Clark:''' Where's Eddie? He usually eats these goddamn things!
--> '''Catherine:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Oh, not recently, Clark. He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.]]
--> '''Clark:''' ({{Beat}}) [[DeadpanSnarker Thank you, Catherine.]]

* Tch... Bingo!

* "I can't swim Clark." (beat) "I know Eddie."

--->'''Bethany:''' What's that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound!
--->'''Lewis:''' You couldn't hear a dumptruck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

-->'''Eddie:''' "Don't you go falling in love with it now, because we're taking it with us when we leave here next month."
-->'''Clark:''' [[SpitTake (gags on his eggnog)]]
* Ellen somehow ending up grabbing Clark's crotch when ordered to freeze.
** And putting it back after shaking Mrs. Shirley's hand.

--> '''Police Chief:''' That's pretty low, Mister! [[PoliceBrutality If I had a rubber hose I would beat the shit out of you!]]
* Clark watching old movies of past Christmas while trapped in the attic, while sitting right on the attic door, which his wife opens and dumps him right into the floor below right on top of her with a hilarious OffscreenCrash.
** ...Right as Ray Charles pauses to laugh during the song.

* The [[AbsurdlyBrightLight Christmas Lights]] are this and Awesome at the same time. From the fact that they cause power outages every time Clark turns them on, to the fact that the blind the neighbors next door and send them crashing into things, and of course the fact that a nearby nuclear power plant has to increase output just to keep up.

--> '''Clark:''' Where's Eddie? He usually eats these damn things!
--> '''Catherine:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Oh, not since he found out they were high in cholesterol.]]

--> '''Clark Sr.:''' [[INeedAFreakingDrink I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.]]

** "Tis the season to be Mary!" "Well, that's my name!" "No shit!"

** And putting it back after shaking Mrs. Shirley's hand

* "Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!"

* "Oh, he's just yakking on a bone. ''(sound of Snots barfing under the table)'' he's got it up.

* "Is Rusty still in the Navy?"

* Clark watching old movies of past Christmas while trapped in the attic, while sitting right on the attic door, which his wife opens and dumps him right into the floor below right on top of her with a hilarious OffscreenCrash.