History Funny / JayAndSilentBobStrikeBack

-->'''Hamill''': Don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with a [[Franchise/StarWars Jedi Master]], son!

-->'''Jay''': ''(noticing a public computer shortly after stepping into Mooby's)'' Ooh, check that shit out, man – the Internet. Let's see if those fucks wrote down something new about us and that stupid-ass flick.
-->''[Jay and Silent Bob make their way over to the computer and pull up "The Shooting Range", a film-related message board.]''
-->'''Jay''': (reading a post) "Any movie based on Jay and Silent Bob are gonna lick balls, because they both, in fact, lick balls." Motherfucker! It's time we wrote somethin' back! Type this shit down!
-->''Silent Bob prepares to type what Jay dictates to him.''
-->'''Jay''': All you motherfuckers are gonna pay! ''You'' are the ones who are the ball-lickers! We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches! Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin' the movie, we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made 'em eat! And then all you motherfucks are next! Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

* Jay and Silent Bob running through the Hollywood back lot trying to escape some guards. They turn and run down one street and WHAM! Crash and fall over thanks to a background piece painted ''exactly like the real street behind it.''
-->'''Jay''': Man, I hate how fake Hollywood is...

-->'''Gordon''': Echo Base, I've got a 10-07: two unauthorized on the lot, requesting backup.\\
'''Echo Base''': [over Gordon's walkie talkie] [[PoliceCodeForEverything I thought that was a 10-82]].\\
'''Gordon''': No sir, a 10-82 is [[DisposableSexWorker disappearing a dead hooker]] from Ben Affleck's trailer.\\
'''Echo Base''': [slightly amused] Oh, that Affleck! Backup on the way...

-->'''Scooby Doo:''' Ri Ray an' Rilent Rob. (flashes teethy, cringy smile) '''Ehee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!'''

** [[TheChewToy Poor]] [[{{Film/Clerks}} Dante.]]
-->'''Dante''': [[CatchPhrase I'm not even supposed to be here today!]]
** In a DeletedScene:
-->'''Randall:''' See, man? If you were funnier than that, [[WesternAnimation/ClerksTheAnimatedSeries ABC would've never]] [[ScrewedByTheNetwork cancelled us.]]

-->'''James''': Did you even read the script?
-->'''Jason''': There's a script?!

* Creator/MarkHamill's cameo. '''HEY KIDS! IT'S MARK HAMILL!''' (Applause)

* "THE ''SIGN!''... ON THE BACK OF THE CAR!... SAID "CRITTERS OF '''''HOLLYWOOD'''''," '''YOU DUMB''' '''''FUCK!!!'''''" Doubly funny in that's probably the ''only'' time we're ever going to hear Creator/KevinSmith raise his voice that much.

-->''Jay and Silent Bob make their way over to the computer and pull up "The Shooting Range", a film-related message board.''
-->'''Jay''':[reading a post] "Any movie based on Jay and Silent Bob are gonna lick balls, because they both, in fact, lick balls." Motherfucker! It's time we wrote somethin' back! Type this shit down!

-->'''Hamill''': Don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with the [[Franchise/StarWars Jedi Master]], son!

* "THE ''SIGN''! ON THE BACK OF THE ''CAR''! SAID ''CRITTERS''! ''OF HOLLYWOOD''! '''YOU DUMB ''FUCK!!'''''" Doubly funny in that's probably the ''only'' time we're ever going to hear Creator/KevinSmith raise his voice that much.

-->'''Jay''':[noticing a public computer shortly after stepping into Mooby's] Ooh, check that shit out, man - the Internet. Let's see if those fucks wrote down something new about us and that stupid-ass flick.

-->'''Jay''':[reading a post] "Any movie based on Jay and Silent Bob are gonna lick balls, because they both, in fact, lick balls". Mother fucker! It's time we wrote somethin' back! Type this shit down!

-->'''Jay''': ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS! We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches! Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax FUCKS who is makin' the movie, we're gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that's made up of our shit that we made 'em eat... and then all you mother''fucks'' are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.

-->'''Scooby Doo:''' Ri Ray an' Rilent Rob. (flashes teethy, cringy smile) '''eheeheeheeheeheehee'''

-->'''Randall:''' See, man? If you were funnier than that, [[WesternAnimation/ClerksTheAnimatedSeries ABC never would've]] [[ScrewedByTheNetwork cancelled us.]]

** [[FridgeBrilliance Which makes sense when you realize he's playing Silent Bob....]]

-->'''Jay''': In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey. [[RussianReversal The monkey will spank]] ''[[RussianReversal us]]''!

-->'''Dante''': [[CatchPhrase I wasn't even supposed to be here today!!]]

* The entire scene when the [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo Mystery Inc. gang]] decide to take up Jay's offer of "Doobie Snacks", especially when topped off from Scooby's lines.

-->'''Chaka:''' Go get me a coffee, and decrackinate it. Okay, Fucky?
-->'''Banky:''' It's Banky.
-->'''Chaka:''' No, ''it'' is Fucky.
* Jay's FantasySequence depicting his UsefulNotes/ConspiracyTheory of apes taking over the world, complete with a shot of a pair of chimps hanging outside a Quick Stop dressed as Jay and Silent Bob.

-->'''Hamill''': Don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with the [[Franchise/StarWars Jedi]] [[IAmNotSpock Master]], son!

* Crowning Blooper Of Funny - when Creator/MattDamon and Creator/BenAffleck are pretending to film ''Film/GoodWillHunting 2'', they repeat a certain 'take' several times because they are corpsing, culminating in them laughing too hard to speak at all. Ben Affleck's high-pitched laugh has to be heard to be believed.

** Before that, when the Bon Jovi song in the background gets muffled when SilentBob places a soda cup over Jay's RagingStiffie.

* Jason Biggs' complete failure to read the script.

-->'''Hamill''': Don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with the [[IAmNotSpock Jedi]] [[Franchise/StarWars Master]], son!

* "THE ''SIGN''! ON THE BACK OF THE ''CAR''! SAID ''CRITTERS''! ''OF HOLLYWOOD''! '''YOU DUMB ''FUCK!!'''''" Doubly funny in that's probably the ''only'' time we're ever going to hear Kevin Smith raise his voice that much.

* Crowning Blooper Of Funny - when Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are pretending to film ''Good Will Hunting 2'', they repeat a certain 'take' several times because they are corpsing, culminating in them laughing too hard to speak at all. Ben Affleck's high-pitched laugh has to be heard to be believed.

* Chris Rock playing the director:

* In the commentary, Smith notes that a better husband would have given Jennifer Schwalbach Smith more to do (as she completely misses the girls' big scene).
* Jay's GoodAngelBadAngel scene in the van. It starts with two little demons on his shoulders, but then the angel comes in. He's just as crude, but less overt.

-->'''Hamill''': Don't [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] with the [[IAmNotSpock Jedi]] [[Film/StarWars Master]], son!

* Creator/MarkHamill's cameo. '''HEY KIDS! IT'S MARK HAMILL!'''(Applause)

* Also a Crowning Deleted Scene of Funny: "Jay's Dream Date."

-->'''Randall:''' "See, man? If you were funnier than that, [[WesternAnimation/ClerksTheAnimatedSeries ABC never would've]] [[ScrewedByTheNetwork cancelled us.]]"
* Jason Bigg's complete failure to read the script.

* The angel and devil(s) scene in the van.

'''Echo Base''': [over Gordon's walkie talkie] I thought that was a 10-82.\\
'''Gordon''': No sir, a 10-82 is disappearing a dead hooker from Ben Affleck's trailer.\\

* Jay's FantasySequence depicting his ConspiracyTheory of apes taking over the world, complete with a shot of a pair of chimps hanging outside a Quick Stop dressed as Jay and Silent Bob.

* ''[[OminousLatinChanting JUSTICE! IS DEEEAAAD!!]]''
** ''ORRRRR SOOOOO JAAAAYYYYY THIIIIIIIINKS.''

* {{Mark Hamill}}'s cameo. '''HEY KIDS! IT'S MARK HAMILL!'''(Applause)

* In the commentary, Smith notes that a better husband would have given Jennifer Schwalbach Smith more to do (as she completely misses the girls' big scene).

* "THE ''SIGN''! ON THE BACK OF THE ''CAR''! SAID ''CRITTERS''! ''OF HOLLYWOOD''! '''YOU DUMB ''FUCK!!'''''"