History Funny / HorribleHistories

* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkQkeKbTP_w aBook]] sketch, an uncannily dead-on parody (save perhaps the slightly shaky Californian accent) of an Apple advert. "It's the book that rewrites the book on... writing books."

--->'''Soldier:'''(shows a spear with fish) We...ah... got some of his soldiers?

--->'''Soldier:''' (shows a spear with fish) We...ah... got some of his soldiers?

--->'''Solider:''' (shows a spear with fish) We got some of his soldiers?

--->'''Greg:''' [[NoIndoorVoice PEOPLE EAT FOOD, AND WE EAT THE FOOD.]]

-->'''Nigel:''' Man-child! Do you wish to be a gallant hero?!

-->'''Nigel:''' Then you must wee on this man's head!

* A World war II sketch in which, the British government having had all the road signs and place names blacked out to prevent German spies from knowing where they were, a train carriage of passengers and the conductor go through an ever more complicated way of trying to announce the name of the next station without revealing it to any German spies. At last the one passenger who hasn't said anything, thouroughly fed up, says "I'm the German; would it help if I left the train?" and proceeds to jump off.

* A sketch pointing out that nobody really knows whether King William II's hunting accident was deliberate or not: "Well, yes, I appear to have shot the King. That's bad, isn't it?"

-->'''Nigel:''' Man-child! Do you wish to be a great hero?!
-->'''Modern boy:''' ''(nods warily)'' Ye-eah...
-->'''Nigel:''' Then wee on this man's head!

-->'''Modern child:''' ''(nods warily)''
-->'''Nigel:'''Then wee on this man's head!

* A sketch pointing out that nobody really knows whether King William II was assassinated or not while out hunting: "Well, yes, I appear to have shot the King. That's bad, isn't it?"

--->'''Black Bart''': ''[typical pirate voice] Listen up, you scurvy scum. It's been many moons since I've had fresh blood aboard my ship. Now you all know me by reputation - Black Bart! The most bloodthirsty pirate ever to sail the seven seas!

--->'''Black Bart''' ''[goes to normal/posh voice]'' No fighting!

* The "You've Been Artois'd!" sketch. Mostly for the contrast between how incredibly cool Artois thinks he is ("Boom-boom bang-bang, baby!...I know these words, you see? I am 'street', yes?") and his victims' bemused reactions: "Who ''are'' you?"

* The 'Kidnapped!" sketch, a movie trailer-style spoof on Saxon marriage laws. Mr. and Mrs. Random Saxon are just sitting outside their hut when an intruder suddenly runs up, bonks him on the head and runs off with Mrs. Random:
-->'''Husband:''' (yelling after them) ''Hey!'' That was a new helmet!

-->'''Elizabeth:''' Cecil, there appears to be a half-naked man in our throne room.

* The 'Silly Tudor Laws' sketch, in which a nobleman is forced by Queen Elizabeth I to wear a woolly hat, remove his sword-impeding cloak and then his royals-only purple doublet... leading inevitably to this exchange:

-->'''Cecil:'' Not yet, your Majesty.

* Bitchy Mozart ("So you beat zat...''girlfriend!''") vs. pompous -- and conveniently deaf -- Beethoven ("So you just stick ''zat'' in your schnitzel!") for the title of Greatest Composer Ever in the Prom special.

* The Chav version of the story of Helen of Troy...

* Bitchy Mozart vs. pompous (and conveniently deaf) Beethoven for the title of Greatest Composer Ever in the Prom special. "So you just stick ''zat'' in your schnitzel!" "So you beat zat...''girlfriend!''"

--->'''Crew:''' ''[laughter]''

--->'''Crew:''' ''[laughter]''

--->'''Crewmember:''' Hey?

-->'''Spartan husband:''' You will be going to a funeral. ''(pause)'' The rabbit's.

* Bitchy Mozart vs. pompous Beethoven for the title of Greatest Composer Ever in the Prom special. "You stick that in your schnitzel!" "So you beat zat...''girlfriend!''"

* Bitchy Mozart vs. pompous Beethoven for the title of Greatest Composer Ever in the Prom special. "You stick that in your schnitzel!" "So you beat zat...''girlfriend''."

* Bitchy Mozart vs. pompous Beethoven for the title of Greatest Composer Ever in the Prom special. "You stick that in your schnitzel!" "So you beat zat...'girlfriend'''."

-->'''Spartan husband:''' You will be going to a funeral. ''(pause)'' The rabbit's.

* The Chav version of the story of Helen of Troy

* The "You've Been Artois'd!" sketch. "Boom-boom bang-bang, baby!...I know these words, you see? I am 'street', yes?"

* The "You've Been Artois'd!" sketch. Robert of Artois running around convinced he's just the coolest thing in Renaissance Europe ("Boom-boom bang-bang, baby!...I know these words, you see? I am 'street', yes?") while meanwhile his victims are just completely baffled by the whole thing ("Who ''are'' you?").

--->''[Beat]'' But I won't. 'Cause that'd be... stupid.

* Stephen Fry, speaking of TheBlitz: "Up to two million bowels were evacuated... Children! Two million children were evacuated..."