History Funny / Hercules

'''Hercules''': Phil, [[Didn'tThinkThisThrough I don't think we covered this one in basic training!]]

'''Hercules''': Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!

--->'''Pain:''' [''begging for Pegasus to not hurt them''] My intentions were pure! I really was attracted to you!\\

*** The Greek dub has him ask "Whoa, did my wig slip off?".

** Hades is [[HypocriticalHumor also a guy]] - sadly, Meg didn't light the fuse of that particular LogicBomb.

*** Even better when you remember [[AnythingThatMoves whose]] [[DoubleStandardRapeDivineOnMortal son]] Herc is.

** When Hades releases the Titans for his evil plan, they waste no time wreaking havoc all across Greece. Unfortunately, it turns out that they're... [[FailedASpotCheck not very bright, to say the least]].
--->'''Titans:''' '''ZEUS!'''\\
'''Hades:''' Uh, guys?\\
'''Titans''': '''HUH?'''\\
'''Hades''': [[TheExitIsThatWay Olympus would be]] ''[[TheExitIsThatWay that]]'' [[TheExitIsThatWay way]]. ''(points at Olympus in the opposite direction)''\\
'''Titans:''' ''(look back as if to say "Whoops", then turn around and walk towards it)'' '''ZEUS!'''
*** Look at Stratos' (the wind titan's) face: he looks particularly embarrassed!

** This line of dialogue:
--->'''Hades:''' [[SarcasmMode How sentimental]]. (Fakes being emotional) You know, I haven't been this choked up ''since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat''! ''Huh''?! ({{Beat}}) [[ToughRoom Is this an audience or a mosaic?]]
*** In the Finnish dub, he says that he (roughly translated) "hasn't felt this warm inside since the last time [he] swallowed a match stick". [[FridgeLogic Never mind the fact that the guy's]] ''[[FridgeLogic literally]]'' [[FridgeLogic on fire.]]
*** In the Swedish dub, he asks "So, is this a baptism or a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_(ceremony) wake]]?"
*** In the Greek dub, he says the hunk of moussaka getting caught in his throat brought him a shock instead, and he asks the Olympians whether they're alive or statues.
** The entirety of Hades' conversation with [[BlindSeer the Fates]].
--->'''Hades:''' Ladies, so sorry I'm--\\
'''The Fates:''' Late!\\
'''Lachesis:''' We ''knew'' you would be!\\
'''Clotho:''' [''proudly''] [[TheOmniscient We know EVERYTHING!]]\\
'''Lachesis:''' Past--\\
'''Clotho:''' --Present--\\
'''Atropos:''' --and Future! [''aside to Panic''] Indoor plumbing...it's gonna be ''big!''\\
'''Hades:''' Right, anyway ladies, I was at this party and I lost all track of ti--\\
'''The Fates:''' We know!\\
'''Hades:''' I ''know'' you know. Anyway, Zeus--Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "[[Music/TheRollingStonesBand Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud]]"--Now he has--\\
'''The Fates:''' --a bouncing baby ''brat!''\\
'''Clotho:''' We ''KNOW!''\\
'''Hades:''' '''''I KNOW''''' ''you'' know. I know. I got it. I got the concept.

** Later:
--->'''Hades:''' Guys! Get your Titanic rears in gear and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis KICK! SOME OLYMPIAN! BUTT!]] [''Pegasus sneaks up and blows his hair out as if it were a candle''] Whoa, is my hair out?

* Hercules punching Hades' face inward when he's in the throes of a VillainousBreakdown. Funnier still, Hades calmly (and not without a chuckle in his voice) admits, "Well, OK, I deserved that."

'''Panic''': Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a (''choked by Hades'') very popular name nowadays!\\

--->'''Phil''': [''sees the Hydra's corpse twitching''] That doesn't sound good. [''The Hydra gets back on its feet, grows three more heads and starts moving towards them''] DEFINITELY NOT GOOD! [''hands Herc his sword and runs'']

** When Hades releases the Titans for his evil plan. Unfortunately, the Titans are... [[FailedASpotCheck not very bright, to say the least]].

'''Pain & Panic''': [[OhCrap OH, MY GODS!]] RUN FOR IT! (''Hades grabs them'')\\

--->'''Phil:''' My answer is, TWO WORDS:\\
[''gets hit by lightning; {{beat}} as Phil looks up at the sky'']\\
''OK...''

--->'''Hades''': '''''[[BurningWithAnger DYEAAGGHH!]]''''' (''Cut to the mountain [[DistantReactionShot exploding in the distance]] as the city shakes. Hercules, Pegasus and the citizens of Thebes are shown in the foreground, hearing the distant explosion, then shrugging'')

'''Hades''': ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis WHAT.]]'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Was that name.]] ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Again?]]''\\

--->'''Titans:''' '''DESTROY ZEUS!'''\\

'''Hades:''' I ''know'' you know. Anyway, Zeus--Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "[[Music/TheRollingStones Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud]]"--Now he has--\\

--->'''Phil''': Will you forget the head-slicing thing?!\\

* Hercules fought mythological monsters, but the sheepish-looking hero is no match for a mob of screaming fangirls. Herc struggles to get away from fangirls, who have him lying flat on the floor with a girl's feet on his face as Phil is beside him, plotting his escape.

** As Herc leaves he gives Meg a flower and kisses her on the cheek, leaving her with a face that's priceless as she touches the spot where he kissed her; then followed by ''I Won't Say I'm in Love''.

* Thalia the Muse is full of them, especially during the "I Won't Say I'm in Love" sequence, where she waves the flower at Meg and is ignored, she ends up dangling from the 'ceiling' the others have raised up (her yelp of surprise makes it even funnier), she's held up by the others during the line "you (got) (got) got it bad," and how her head isn't attached to the rest of her bust, which results in her lounging on the column.

** Which becomes even better when you read up on your Greek Myth and realize that Oedipus is Meg's ''cousin''. Meg just had to watch her family drama on the big stage with her boyfriend.

'''Meg:''': [Hercules] is different. He's honest and sweet...\\

** "[[SarcasmMode How sentimental]]. (Fakes being emotional) You know, I haven't been this choked up ''since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat''! ''Huh''?! ({{Beat}}) [[ToughRoom Is this an audience or a mosaic?]]"

!!The animated series
See [[Funny/HerculesTheAnimatedSeries here]]

'''Meg:''': ...and he would never do anything to hurt me.\\

'''Meg:''' [Hercules] is different. He's honest and sweet…\\
'''Hades''' Please.\\
'''Meg:''' …and he would never do anything to hurt me.\\