History Funny / HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire

* Dumbledore visiting Harry in his dorm and talking about the bed curtains:

** Although it comes across a little out of character, as Dumbledore usually doesn't just randomly dislike things.

** Even more hilarious to Bulgarian readers because the worst mispronunciation possible would be something like "Herma-YANNI" due to a combination of transliteration (in Bulgarian, foreign names are transliterated by recording their pronunciation into Cyrillic) and AccentOnTheWrongSyllable. Even funnier since the translator had thoughtfully avoided the NoPronunciationGuide back in the first book, adding an accent to Hermione's name when it was first mentioned.

*** In fact, basically everything about the Weaseleys' brief visited to Privet Drive, especially Arthur being cheerily oblivious to the Dursley's hatred of anything even vaguely out of the ordinary as he tries to make polite small-talk with them and assuring them that he'll set everything back to the way it was after they blasted their way out of the fireplace. The narration notes that the Dursleys are looking at him like he's insane after explaining how he got there using lots of magic-related terms and mangling some Muggle ones as well.

** "Pyjama party, is it?"

-->'''Ron:''' Oh, look, Mum's sent me something! (unwraps package) Mum sent me a ''dress''. Ginny, this is for you.\\

** [[BrickJoke Later on]] in the lead up to the Yule Ball, Hermione dismisses another attempt by Ron to learn who she's going to the Ball with. Malfoy [[WalkInChimeIn chimes in from behind them]] with one of his usual remarks about who'd go with ''"[[FantasticRacism the long-molared Mudblood]]"''. Harry and Ron [[BerserkButton round on Malfoy at this]], but Hermione waves at someone behind Malfoy and says ''"[[RightBehindMe Hello, Professor Moody!]]"''. Malfoy [[OhCrap jumps in horror]] and starts looking around for Moody, only to then see [[FailedASpotCheck he's still at the staff table eating dinner]], much to Harry, Ron and Hermione's amusement.

'''Professor Moody:''' [[OffOnATechnicality Technically,]] it's a [[BalefulPolymorph ferret.]]

-->'''Ron:''' Oh, look, Mum's sent me something!" (unwraps package) "Mum sent me a ''dress''. Ginny, this is for you.\\

* During the Quidditch World Cup, when the mascots are sent off, the Irish team's horde of leprechauns apparently make a ''very'' rude symbol, which is implied to be ''[[FlippingTheBird the middle finger]]'', while they laugh at the Veelas.

* Accio practice sees a Charms lesson devolve into minor chaos as students summon the wrong objects and/or banish objects flying in the wrong directions, often at dangerous speeds. Of particular note is Professor Flitwick whizzing past the Trio with a resigned look on his face.

[folder:From the film]]

!!From the book:

!!From the film:

----

--->'''Hermione:''' ''[scathingly]'' "Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?"

-->'''Dumbledore:''' My own brother, Aberforth, [[NoodleIncident was prosecuted for]] [[UnusualEuphemism practicing inappropriate charms]] [[BestialityIsDepraved on a goat.]] It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery…

-->'''Dumbledore:''' Really, Hagrid, if you are holding out for universal popularity, I'm afraid you will be in this cabin for a very long time.

---> '''Ron:''' What's the betting she comes back with a box of ''I Hate Rita Skeeter'' badges?

* When Harry meets Percy at the Yule Ball and Percy mentions how he's been promoted "as if he were announcing his election as supreme ruler of the universe." Earlier, the narrator mentions that Snape was as likely to just let his students relax during class (due to the Yule Ball approaching) as nominating Harry his only heir.

* Molly Weasley's letter to the Dursleys is absolutely ''smothered'' in stamps, "except for a square inch on the front, into which Mrs. Weasley had squeezed the Dursleys' address in minute writing."

** Uncle Vernon recalls Molly as a "dumpy woman with a lot of children."
-->''Harry frowned. [[HypocriticalHumor He thought it was a bit rich of Uncle Vernon to call anyone "dumpy," when his own son, Dudley, had finally achieved what he'd been threatening to do since the age of three, and become wider than he was tall.]]''

* The whole Blast-Ended Skrewts subplot, especially taking them for walks. When Hagrid orders the class to come in for extra lessons to observe them "with the air of Father Christmas pulling an extra large toy out of his sack," Malfoy tries to refuse.

** Made even more HilariousInHindsight by their... erm... [[MakeOutKids later interactions]] in [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince book 6.]] It's not out of the realm of possibility that Lavender took this [[VulgarHumor off-color joke from Ron]] as an awkward attempt at flirting [[note]]and also not out of the realm of possibility that she wasn't completely off-base either[[/note]], thereby setting off that whole subplot.

* Viktor Krum's total inability to pronounce Hermione's name. First he calls her "Hermy-Own," then after she tries to explain it to him, the best he can do is "Herm-Own-Ninny." And then months later, he has somehow arrived at "Hermy-Own-Ninny."

'''Ron:''' (''muttered'') An ugly old bat in outsized specs?\\

** This is immediately followed by Harry yawning "widely and obviously," then Harry and Ron having a discussion after class while walking in which Harry comments that he'd be a medical miracle if he dropped dead every time Trelawney said he was going to and Ron saying that he'd be a sort of ultra-concentrated ghost.

* The WhyDontYouMarryIt moment in the tent (YMMV). Especially when Fred, George, and Harry sing "Viktor, I love you. Viktor, I do...When we're apart, my heart beats only for you," before MoodWhiplash sets in in the background.

-->'''Ron:''' Bloody hell!

-->'''Moody:''' You need to know what you're up against, you need to be prepared, [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption you need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!]]\\

''[Moody whirls around, and hurls the chalk at Seamus.]''\\

--> '''Harry:''' What did she [Fleur] say?\\

---> "It isn't going to work!"

---> "We're old school, right?"\\

-->'''Harry:''' (''reading the letter'') "P.S.: The bird bites." (''cries out'') Ouch! (''The bird has bitten him just as he was reading the postscript.'')

'''Moody:''' ''[chasing Malfoy]'' Is that a threat? IS THAT A THREAT?! I COULD TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT WOULD CURL EVEN ''YOUR'' GREASY HAIR, BOY! IT DOESN'T END HERE!

* Ron's [[ImpossiblyTackyClothes hilariously ugly dress robes]]. "Traditional?! They're ancient! I look like my great-aunt Tessie!" (sniffs armpit) "I ''smell'' like my great-aunt Tessie!" (looks in the mirror) "Murder me, Harry."
--> '''Ron:''' "Oh, look, Mum's sent me something!" (unwraps package) "Mum sent me a ''dress''. Ginny, this is for you."\\
'''Ginny:''' "I'm not wearing ''that'', it's ghastly!"\\
(Hermione starts laughing)\\
'''Hermione:''' "They're not for Ginny. They're for you!"\\
(the entire Gryffindor table starts laughing)

--> '''Harry:''' [[NeverLiveItDown You're never going to let him forget this, are you?]]\\

---> '''Snape:''' Take... My... Waist...

**

---> '''Ron:''' ''(regarding Viktor Krum)'' Ruddy pumpkinhead, isn't he?\\

---> '''Durmstrang boy:''' May I have your arm?\\

* When talking about the golden eggs with Harry, Hermione says that Krum hasn't said much about it since he's "more of a physical being." She then [[ThatCameOutWrong realizes what she just said]], and they both laugh about it.

--> '''Neville:''' [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Oh my God. I've killed Harry Potter!]]

** Crouch Jr., for some reason, attended Karkaroff's proceedings [[note]]This scene goes differently in the books, with the Lestranges and Crouch Jr. as the ones on trial, but this is combined with Karkaroff's own trial for pacing reasons and to account for Bellatrix not being cast yet, as well as explain Karkaroff and Snape's respective Death Eater pasts[[/note]]. When Karkaroff brings up the Longbottoms, Crouch Jr. decides a couple of moments too late to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere try to bail]] before Karkaroff names him. Creator/DavidTennant's body language is dialogue all on its own.

'''Crouch Jr.:''' ''[stands and starts stepping over people] ["This… looks like a good time to make my exit."]''\\

''[cue MassOhCrap during the DramaticPause]''\\
'''Crouch Jr.:''' ''[stops] ["Dammit Igor! Ten more seconds! Could you not have stalled for ten more seconds?!"]''\\

'''Junior.:''' ''["[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Thanks a lot, asshole. That's a life sentence.]] [[DoNotGoGentle Welp, might as well get my money's worth while I'm here]]."] [Crouch Jr. turns and tries to attack Crouch Sr., only for Moody (apparently the real one, as Junior is clearly in the same room) to promptly stun him]''

** Also where Snape laments that its use on students is "regrettably forbidden."

--> '''Voldemort:''' Attaboy, Harry!

** BlackComedy ensues after it's revealed [[spoiler:that Moody is actually Barty Crouch Jr. in Polyjuice, and he ''hates'' Death Eaters that walked free... such as Malfoy's dad. Makes you wonder if Barty Jr. was [[SinsOfTheFather working out some issues]] with the Ferret stunt...]]

* Filch believes that he has ''finally'' caught Peeves stealing from a student, and would sure enough have him out of the castle when he presented Dumbledore with Harry's champion egg, which Harry had just dropped while getting stuck underneath the invisibility cloak. Unfortunately for Filch, Moody/[[spoiler:Crouch Jr.]] arrives and takes it away.

** The whole scene is also fairly funny because Harry has his foot stuck in the trick stair, and is under the Invisibility Cloak to hide the fact that he'd been in the Prefect's Bathroom. When [[spoiler:Crouch Jr.]] shows up, he spots Harry and does a JawDrop in astonishment.
** Harry himself pauses to realize that, for him, the situation is incredibly tense, trapped with his leg down a stair, immobile under his invisibility cloak, with Filch and Snape (both of whom have grudges against him) arguing not far away, and Filch's cat seemingly looking directly at him through the cloak; but to [[spoiler:Crouch Jr.]], it must look ''[[{{Narm}} utterly ridiculous]]'', with Harry caught with his leg in a trick stair.

** FridgeBrilliance after reading the seventh book: [[spoiler:she was reading the soul fragment of Voldemort's that's inside Harry. Voldemort was born in midwinter.]]

** It says something that even [[spoiler:while under the Imperius Curse,]] Crouch Sr. seems to pick up on this. In chapter 17, he describes Percy as "very enthusiastic... a little over-enthusiastic, if truth be told..."

*** [[spoiler:Since this "Moody" is actually Barty Crouch Jr., who was a Death Eater, just like Lucius, meaning that the stories he's talking about are of their time together with Voldemort, not of the real Moody's time hunting him]].
*** And of course, the only person who hates Lucius "bribed his way out of prison" Malfoy more than Mad-Eye Moody is [[spoiler:the Death Eater who wound up in Azkaban while Lucius didn't]].

** We cut away briefly to [[spoiler:Barty Crouch Jr.]] on the sidelines, swaying, and taking a sip from his flask of Polyjuice Potion in time to the music.

* Ron complaining about Krum: "Ruddy pumpkinhead, isn't he?"
** Also, Ron coming in pale and shaking and looking like he's about to faint because "He just asked Fleur Delacour out."
*** "Actually, he sort of screamed at her."
** And this exchange is especially hilarious because of Creator/EmmaWatson's delivery.
--> '''Harry:''' What did she [Fleur] say?\\
'''Hermione:''' No, of course.\\
''Ron shakes his head.''\\
'''Hermione:''' She said yes!?

* The Veritaserum scene.
-->'''Snape:''' Do you know what this is, Potter?\\
'''Harry:''' Bubble juice, sir?
** Also where Snape laments that its use on students is "regrettably forbidden."
* The studying scene, where Harry and Ron keep on getting caught talking by Snape and get their heads smacked by a book and forced down for their troubles. The uber-annoyed look [[TheComicallySerious Snape]] gives and the precise manner in which he pulls his sleeves up before shoving their heads down was the icing on the funny cake.
** Ron bemoans he and Harry not having dates for the Yule Ball. He tries to comfort himself by saying that [[ButtMonkey Neville]] also won't have a date, until Hermione informs him that Neville ''does'' have one, making Ron feel even worse.
**
--->'''Ron:''' Well, Hermione...[[CaptainObvious you're a girl!]]\\
'''Hermione:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Oh, well spotted.]]
** Harry in the background sees Snape coming towards them and starts tugging on Ron's sleeve to get him to stop talking. Ron doesn't notice, causing Snape to smack them both on the head again.
** You might notice that Harry is trying his hardest to not laugh when hit after the example mentioned above.
** You may note that Snape actually hits ''only'' Harry and Ron, [[WouldNotHitAGirl not Hermione]]. EveryoneHasStandards, after all.
** Fred's way of asking Angelina to the ball. He throws a wad of paper and hits her, points to her, mimes dancing, and points to himself. She nods, and he throws Ron a big goofy wink as George grins. Meanwhile, Snape's standing behind Angelina, seeming to be deliberately pulling an "I'm not looking" as he intently studies a book.
** While Snape is busy hitting Harry and Ron, he completely ignores [[FunnyBackgroundEvent the small fire behind him]], most likely created by [[IrishExplosivesExpert Seamus Finnegan]].
** Draco sees everything and mockingly laughs at the trio, until Ron gives him a look and [[DirtyCoward he immediately turns to his books.]]
** And Snape comes ''this'' close to inflicting a HeadDesk on the pair, something he's surely wanted to do since day one.

* When talking about the golden eggs with Harry, Hermione says that Krum hasn't said much about it since he's "more of a physical being." She then [[ThatCameOutWrong realizes what she just said]], and they both laugh about it.

* Dumbledore, [[https://youtu.be/07M50xqWl2c?t=236 unlike the book]], throttles Harry against a cabinet when he asked him if he put his name into the Goblet of Fire, as though Harry just did something that could get him into serious trouble.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLoFNXNXZHc Plenty at the Yule Ball]] proper:
** Padma's reaction to Ron's dress robes. Even as she's fishing for a compliment, there's a look on her face that says clearly, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"
** Krum's nodding of his head as Hermione takes his arm; he's thinking "Aww, yeah! I got the girl!". Don't believe me? Look [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rfHV5Y6Vgc here]] at 0:33.
** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLoFNXNXZHc As the champions and their dates come forward to the dance floor]]:
--->'''Padma:''' Is that… Hermione Granger? With Viktor Krum?\\
'''Ron:''' [[ThisCannotBe No. Ab- Absolutely not.]]
** Filch rocking Mrs. Norris. And she ''purrs''. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aWQrPwCZfI Watch the clip.]]
** The brief shot of Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory dancing is utterly HilariousInHindsight. Creator/RobertPattinson has this uber-serious expression on his face that makes him look ''exactly'' like [[Film/{{Twilight}} Edward Cullen]].
** We cut away briefly to [[spoiler:Barty Crouch Jr.]] on the sidelines, swaying, and taking a sip from his flask of Polyjuice Potion in time to the music.
** Hagrid's giddy face when nodding to Madame Maxime to ask her for a dance. Later, while slow-dancing, his hand slides down to her...backside and she immediately fixes it back in place.
** [[FunnyBackgroundEvent While "Do the Hippogriff" is playing]], Flitwick crowdsurfs (not quite willingly) and Crabbe tries to jump on Viktor Krum's back, among others.
** While everyone else is dancing:
---> '''Ron:''' ''(regarding Viktor Krum)'' Ruddy pumpkinhead, isn't he?\\
'''Harry:''' [[ContinuityLockout I don't think it was the books he was going for in the library.]]\\
''(Parvati and Padma give them equally disgusted looks)''
** After Ron makes it clear he won't ask Padma for a dance and the twins sit, dejected:
---> '''Durmstrang boy:''' May I have your arm?\\
'''Parvati:''' Arm… Leg… ''(rolls eyes to Harry and snorts)'' I'm yours.\\
''(Padma, realizing she's stuck with the two boys, gives an utterly miserable look)''

* Voldemort ''bum-rushing'' Harry during their duel at the climax. In the midst of his pompous EvilGloating, Voldemort gives us [[SophisticatedAsHell this gem]]:
--> '''Voldemort:''' Attaboy, Harry!

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=670tlQckO9g Draco the Amazing Bouncing Ferret]] as translated to film. Mainly for the fact that Moody ends up shoving Malfoy into Crabbe's trousers. (And Goyle ''reaches into the front of said trousers and fumbles around in there for several moments.'' Ferret-Draco also ''bites Goyle's finger''… [[GroinAttack very fortunately for Crabbe.]]) Then Professor [=McGonagall=] arrives on the scene:
--> '''Professor [=McGonagall=]:''' Professor Moody! What are you doing?!\\
'''Professor Moody:''' [[AskAStupidQuestion Teaching.]]\\
'''Professor [=McGonagall=]:''' Is that a- Is that a student?!\\
'''Professor Moody:''' [[OffOnATechnicality Technically,]] it's a [[BalefulPolymorph ferret.]]
** While Harry, Cedric and the other students are laughing their asses off, [=McGonagall=] promptly turns Malfoy back to human form. Getting back to his feet and jumping back in shock at the sight of Moody, Malfoy angrily promises to pass word of this back to Lucius. This [[OhCrap quickly disappears]] as Moody abandons his cane and chases him around a nearby tree ''twice'' before he can escape:
--->'''Malfoy:''' [[CatchPhrase My father will hear of this!]]\\
'''Moody:''' ''[chasing Malfoy]'' Is that a threat? IS THAT A THREAT?! I COULD TELL YOU STORIES ABOUT YOUR FATHER THAT WOULD CURL EVEN ''YOUR'' GREASY HAIR, BOY! IT DOESN'T END HERE!
** And the face he makes after the whole debacle is over to [=McGonagall=]'s back.
*** [[spoiler:Since this "Moody" is actually Barty Crouch Jr., who was a Death Eater, just like Lucius, meaning that the stories he's talking about are of their time together with Voldemort, not of the real Moody's time hunting him]].
*** And of course, the only person who hates Lucius "bribed his way out of prison" Malfoy more than Mad-Eye Moody is [[spoiler:the Death Eater who wound up in Azkaban while Lucius didn't]].
** Made even better. Crouch Jr. is watching Harry on Dumbledore's orders. Who wants to bet that, when Harry calls Lucius "vile and cruel" and Draco "pathetic", Crouch Jr. is agreeing wholeheartedly?
*** Even better, perhaps? Apparently the real Moody does ''not'' need the stick at all. Crouch Jr. chases Draco without using it, and no-one bats an eyelid at it. This means Crouch Jr. is ''just using the stick to look absolutely fucking terrifying'', rather than for any practical purposes. It also implies that's the same reason as to why ''Moody'' uses the stick.
** [=McGonagall=] ripping Crouch Jr., saying "We never use transfiguration as a punishment!" [[HypocriticalHumor This is coming from a teacher who sent a group of first year students into a forest full of dangerous monsters as detention]]...
* Moaning Myrtle shows up to flirt with Harry while he's in the prefects' bath.
* Neville's reaction during the Second Task after he thinks Harry has drowned and didn't swallow the plant he gave him earlier:
--> '''Neville:''' [[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Oh my God. I've killed Harry Potter!]]
** And not long after, Harry is shown making a backflip while Neville has his back turned. Upon turning around and seeing Seamus and Dean cheering, he's completely confused.

* Ron's [[ImpossiblyTackyClothes hilariously ugly dress robes]]. "Traditional?! They're ancient! I look like my great-aunt Tessie!" (sniffs armpit) "I ''smell'' like my great-aunt Tessie!" (looks in the mirror) "Murder me, Harry."
--> '''Ron:''' "Oh, look, Mum's sent me something!" (unwraps package) "Mum sent me a ''dress''. Ginny, this is for you."\\
'''Ginny:''' "I'm not wearing ''that'', it's ghastly!"\\
(Hermione starts laughing)\\
'''Hermione:''' "They're not for Ginny. They're for you!"\\
(the entire Gryffindor table starts laughing)
* The moment Harry's name comes out the Goblet of Fire, stunning everyone and Dumbledore calling for him, Harry (who's in shock like everyone else) [[ThisIsGonnaSuck just tries to hide as much as he possibly can]].
* In one of the deleted scenes, after the introduction of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, Dumbledore decides that the students should sing the school hymn in order to ''entertain'' their guests. The looks on their faces speaks volumes of how awkward they find it. Even more funny made by Crabbe singing along very enthusiastically and looking at Draco, with him looking all ''Cool, right?'' and Draco being Draco answering with a very dull expression, like he wants to say "You are ''so'' embarrassing."
* While Harry and Ron are fighting, they put Hermione through an extensive and highly aggravating TellHimImNotSpeakingToHim sequence. Finally, Hermione has had enough.
-->'''Hermione:''' I'm not an owl!
** Ron told Hermione that Seamus told him that Dean told Parvati that Hagrid's looking for Harry. After Ron and Harry are on speaking terms again, Ron says he was the one who heard it from Hagrid, and he was the one who truly helped him. Harry's expression is priceless.
* In a DeletedScene, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGJLjp9JpzA Snape goes around docking points]] from the people [[AutoErotica sneaking off to the carriages to make out…]] while Karkaroff is trying to get him to show his Dark Mark.
* It happens during an otherwise [[TheReveal deadly serious scene]]. but when Snape gets ahold of "Moody" / Crouch Jr.'s vial and realizes that there's Polyjuice Potion in it, and thus Crouch Jr. had been the one raiding ingredients from his stores, Harry (whom Snape had accused of stealing them) [[FunnyBackgroundEvent angles his head behind Dumbledore to look at Snape]] with [[SilentSnarker an obvious expression of "See? Told you it wasn't me. Ass."]]
** Snape in turn shoots Harry a look that gives the impression that he's disappointed he can't blame Harry for the theft anymore.

* [[https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0f073944-2b38-4c43-844a-8ec87ee9bc48 Hi]] [[https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/30af4e8c-9e8b-45b5-8a67-9b3ce72d35c7 Harry.]]
* Sirius sends Harry a letter using a bird with aggressive tendencies.
-->'''Harry:''' (''reading the letter'') "P.S.: The bird bites." (''cries out'') Ouch! (''The bird has bitten him just as he was reading the postscript.'')
* The First Task is made a lot more difficult for the film compared to the book. In the book, Harry easily flies circles around the dragon and grabs the egg it's guarding with little trouble. For the film, on the other hand, the Hungarian Horntail breaks out of its chains and chases Harry out of the stadium. As it's flying, the dragon's tail slices through the section where all the teachers are sitting and they all scramble out of the way. The teachers are left covered in debris and the Hogwarts students ''are applauding''.
-->'''Fred:''' Well done, dragon!
** Dumbledore and Moody / Crouch Jr. give a "What the fuck was that!?" look, Fudge looks horrified, [=McGonagall=] and Snape are covered in dust, but Skeeter looks worse for wear with her hair wild and glasses lopsided; as the dragon flies over them, she's waving her arms wildly trying to bat it away like a fly!

* Harry being called "Moral Fibre" by other students due to the praise he got from the judges after the second task.
* [[AccidentalInnuendo "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."]]
* As soon as Crouch Jr. is revealed, Moody's eye, which has hit the floor, shows it is still apparently connected to him, as ''it spins around, trying to find out what is going on and where it can see it all best''.
* During the introduction of the champions of the Third Task, the students of Beauxbatons are ''doing the hand movement from the macarena!''
** This is actually somewhat period-accurate, too — in the book, the Third Task takes place in May or so of 1995, right around the time the song in question released and shot to the top of many charts worldwide, ''including'' in both the UK and France.
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbV3qODiBGc&ab_channel=WizardingWorld Professor Moody introducing himself to his class]]: "I'm here because Dumbledore asked me, end of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions?"
** Moody's magic eye catches Seamus sticking his chewing gum under his desk. (Whereas in the book he chastised Lavender for showing Parvati her Divination homework; Lavender was AdaptedOut of this film.)
-->'''Moody:''' You need to know what you're up against, you need to be prepared, [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption you need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!]]\\
'''Seamus:''' No way, the old codger can see out the back of his head.\\
''[Moody whirls around, and hurls the chalk at Seamus.]''\\
'''Moody:''' '''AND HEAR ACROSS CLASSROOMS!'''
* Despite how dark the scene in question is, Voldemort's delivery on this line is kind of hilarious, as it sounds less like a murderous overlord and more like a frustrated parent/teacher (which is [[FauxAffablyEvil probably the intention]]):
-->'''Voldemort:''' DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, HARRY POTTER! I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT ME WHEN I KILL YOU!

-->'''Skeeter:''' How are you? I hope you saw my piece over the summer about the International Confederation of Wizards' Conference?
-->'''Dumbledore:''' [[SophisticatedAsHell Enchantingly nasty. I particularly enjoyed your description of me as an obsolete dingbat.]]

-->'''Lavender Brown:''' Oh Professor, look! I think I've got an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?\\

-->'''Ron:''' They'll be announcing their engagement any day now.

---> '''Padma:''' Is that… Hermione Granger? With Viktor Krum?
---> '''Ron:''' [[ThisCannotBe No. Ab- Absolutely not.]]

--> I never liked these curtains. Set them on fire in my fourth year. By accident, of course.I
** Although it comes across a little out ofncharacter, as Dumbledore usually doesn't just randomly dislike things.

-->'''Moody:''' You need to know what you're up against, you need to be prepared, [[AstonishinglyAppropriateInterruption you need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!]]
-->'''Seamus:''' No way, the old codger can see out the back of his head.
-->''[Moody whirls around, and hurls the chalk at Seamus.]''
-->'''Moody:''' '''AND HEAR ACROSS CLASSROOMS!'''

** If you believe this throwaway remark by George (which, granted, you [[PrinceOfPranksters probably]] [[UnreliableExpositor shouldn't]]) [[TheComicallySerious straight-laced, by the book Percy Weasley]] has been caught at least once, singing at the top of his lungs in the freaking shower.

** If you believe this throwaway remark by George, [[TheComicallySerious straight-laced, by the book Percy Weasley]] has been caught at least once, singing at the top of his lungs in the freaking shower.

'''Crouch Sr.:''' The name! Give me the wretched's name!\\
'''Karkaroff:''' …BARTY CROUCH!\\

--->"What — what are you doing?” said Professor [=McGonagall=], her eyes following the bouncing ferret’s progress through the air.\\
“Teaching,” said Moody.\\
“Teach— Moody, ''is that a student?''” shrieked Professor [=McGonagall=], [[DramaticDrop the books spilling out of her arms]].\\
“[[BluntYes Yep]],” said Moody.

** BlackComedy ensues after it's revealed [[spoiler:that Moody is actually Barty Crouch Jr. in Polyjuice, and he ''hates'' Death Eaters that walked free… like Malfoy's dad. Makes you wonder if Barty Jr. was [[SinsOfTheFather working out some issues]] with the Ferret stunt…]]

-->''"Dear Professor Dumbledore,/
Sorry to bother you, but my scar hurt this morning./
Yours sincerely, Harry Potter."/

--> I never liked these curtains. Set them on fire in my fourth year. By accident, of course.

** Where in the book he chastised Lavender for showing Parvati her Divination homework, Moody's magic eye catches Seamus sticking his chewing gum under his desk.