History Funny / GrandTheftAutoV

'''Michael:''' Oh, fuck...\\

** And Rampage 5, where Trevor chews out [[AcceptableTargets a hipster]] for wearing a "Yes, you ARE a motherfucker" T-shirt. Words can't describe, so just... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP4GXxx51ks&feature=c4-overview&list=UU3UcRjxZb1PqLFTtsMJDvTQ just watch...]]

* In a post 100% completion mission, Franklin heads into the woods and [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment ends up hunting down]] a {{Sasquatch}}. Except [[TheReveal it's not really a Sasquatch]]: [[AcceptableTargets it's a]] UsefulNotes/{{Furry|Fandom}}! Outside of the surreality of the mission on it's own, it also ends up as a hilarious parody of a certain mission from ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemptionUndeadNightmare'', complete with an [[IdenticalGrandson Identical Great-Grandson]] of [[GenerationXerox The Hunter]], and a spoofing of the final dialogue between the player character and Sasquatch.

-->'''Michael:''' Ladies! Gentlemen! This is ''your'' moment. Please [[ImpliedDeathThreat don't make me ruin all the great work]] [[AcceptableTargets your plastic surgeons have been doin']]!

* The protagonists struggling to start the vehicle whenever the engine dies and impatiently rant over it can be HilarityEnsures.

* At the endgame's start for Ending C, Michael, Franklin and Trevor ask Lester to find their worst enemies to prevent them from being hunted down in the future. Lester is a bit surprised when Trevor asks him to find "Stretch", until Franklin quickly adds in that his real name is Harold Joseph.

** Or assaulting a street musician with his own guitar.

* Steve Haines likes to think of himself as a larger-than-life hero, and gets very angry when others refuse to acknowledge his "greatness". When you assassinate him as he's filming an episode of ''The Underbelly of Paradise'' in Ending C, his cameraman ''can't even remember Haines' name''.
-->'''Cameraman:''' My god! The guy-what's-his-name-they've shot him! Jesus fucking Christ!

-->'''Michael:''' Fuck this shit! Aggh, seriously!\\

** He can sometimes be playing video games with Jimmy, [[EpicFail despite him not being good]]

'''Jimmy:''' [[HypocriticalHumor Language, Dad, there are children present.]]

'''Jimmy:''' Uh, and that, Daddy, is the bell chiming...

'''Trevor:''' What kind of fucking animal do you take me for?! [[HopeSpot No I didn't kill him!]]\\
'''Michael:''' Oh fuck...\\
'''Trevor:''' '''''[[FalseReassurance But I did kidnap his wife!]]''''' ''(opens the tailgate, revealing a gagged and bound Patrica Madrazo)''\\
'''Michael:''' Oh, no! Oh, shit! The [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] did you do?!\\

--->'''Trevor:''' Pink doesn't suit me anyway, motherfucker!

--->'''Trevor:''' I wasn't counting cards, [[CrossesTheLineTwice I was cheating]]!

--->'''Trevor:''' You'll be digging your own grave when I'm done with you!
** Or...
--->'''Trevor:''' Show me where it says pants are mandatory on the casino floor!

-->'''Trevor:''' (Regarding the job that he and Michael just did for Martin Madrazo) I asked for a fair day's pay after a fair day's work. He kinda got a little angry. And, I'll admit, I kinda got a little angry!\\

'''Trevor:''' '''''[[FalseReassurance But I did kidnap his wife!]]'''''\\

'''Nigel Thornhill:''' Now if we could just get a photo of you WITH the dead animal, Jock? Mrs. Thornhill would be so happy.\\

** Alas, in another CMOF, she loses to... "Three [[ADateWithRosiePalms Masturbating]] Monkeys"!

* It's funny enough that [[BadassInDistress the Triad kidnap Michael]] because [[MistakenForGay they think Michael and Trevor are an item]]. But then Franklin comes to rescue him and what's their immediate response? [[TriangRelations "Oh no! Another boyfriend!"]]

---->'''Trevor:''' It's none of your business, okay! Hey, it's a ''slight'' accent alright!? Fuck you! Hey, so I grew up in Canada, huh!? What's the big fucking deal, YOU FUCKING RACIST! AND BEFORE YOU FUCKING ASK, NO, I'M NOT A MOTHERFUCKER!

---->'''Balla:''' Hey hey, yo yo, who the fuck is this motherfucker? Hey, what's cracking homie? What you doing right here man?\\

[[folder:Online]]
* The intro to ''GTA Online''. Your character has been Internet friends with Lamar for a while now, and is finally going to meet him as you leave the airport. As a male, he and the player shake hands and get to know each other. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_3vyQY7VOE As a female]], [[HopelessSuitor he shows up with a rose]], [[AllMenArePerverts asks for sex]], [[ThatCameOutWrong and fumbles around]] [[CasanovaWannabe trying to talk her into a relationship]]. [[ActionGirl Fem!Player]] [[DeathGlare is clearly unamused.]]
** The first time you die online, you find yourself in a FluffyCloudHeaven...and then ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vsBmayXMTc Cris Formage shows up.]]'' '''''The Epsilon Program was right all along.'''''
--->'''Cris:''' You see. They said I was a fraud. A charlatan. A nothing. But I...''am a miracle.''
*** He also creepily introduces you to passive mode, telling you that he likes to "watch" and that you are always welcome to join him in "the greatest pleasure on Earth."
* The fact that the game will challenge you to do mundane things like use voice chat to either sing in the shower or scream on a rollercoaster to earn experience. This is bound to raise an eyebrow with other players or ellict some annoyed reactions, [[IntendedAudienceReaction but that's probably the point]].
* Anually every December, snow falls in Los Santos. Players can pick snowballs off the ground and [[SnowballFight throw them at unsuspecting players and NPCs]]. What makes this better is that since snowballs are considered a weapon, these can ''hurt'' them, meaning that you can [[ImprobableWeaponUser completely murder someone simply by throwing snowballs at them]].
* The cutscenes during heists, especially the last one. Lester high fives only the heist leader, leaving the rest of them hanging.
** In Prison Break, the online player pushes the other player out of the prison bus and then pushes him/her again once he/she's out of it, making him/her turn around and give a "What the hell, man?" look.
*** All cutscenes where Trevor appears. Even the Online player characters, who are known for not having any emotions, fear him during them.
** If you play on the team that has to steal the Casco in the Prison Break setup, Station, prepare to have a quick chuckle on your online character getting all cheery on seeing the luxury car. What makes it funny is how he/she shows no emotion for a large chunk of the game and seeing him/her get all excited like that is quite surprising. Even more so considering the player that is driving will gleefully jump and slide across the hood to get to the driver's seat.
* Some of the post-mission cutscenes in ''Online'' occasionally have the employer reacting to [[HeroicMime the player]] with awkward silence. Trevor, however...
-->''(Trevor walks out of his trailer to check on the player's delivered vehicle)''\\
'''Trevor:''' Yeah, just leave it there...\\
''(The player looks back at the vehicle, then back at Trevor)''\\
'''Trevor:''' God, and I thought I was weird!
** This also happens sometimes when completing a mission for Ron:
--->'''Trevor:''' Ron, go out and talk to that creepy friend of yours that doesn't speak!
* The aftermath of the "Series A" heist. All has gone well, you've gotten paid and left Trevor to his own devices...and he promptly gets busted by the feds, being forced to ditch all his ill-gotten product and swim for his life. We pick up later with him banging his head bloody against a tree and weeping like a lunatic. With an oddly fitting action figure of Impotent Rage next to him.
* Lamar's [[IceCreamKoan meaningless speech]] about "breaking eggs" and eggs in general in the aftermath of "Funeral Party", leaving all four members of the job [[{{Beat}} absolutely confused]] in their attempts to understand the significance of his speech.
* The Cheburek has visual modification options that installs [[RiceBurner bodykits made out of cardboard]] into the vehicle. The kicker? Compared to the hefty prices of other visual modifications, these are all cost ''$100 each''.
* One subset of decorations available for purchase in the Master Penthouse is a bust of a bald man, with the left half seemingly splitting apart into cubes. Each PaletteSwap of this bust is named [[TrueArtIsIncomprehensible "Uhh", "Ehh" and "Hmm"]].
** Some of the art you can purchase for your penthouse are genuinely funny. For example, [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EA34jpMWsAEZ3F8?format=jpg&name=large a dabbing statue]].
* The contact missions that come from owning a penthouse in the "Diamond Casino & Resort" plotline are full of these:
** Tao Cheng literally comes flying in like a plane, true to form, and his first words to the player?
--->''"I'm totally fucked like a melon!"''
** The player having a completely blank look as Tao goes up to hug them for buying the Penthouse.
** Tao's translator tries to play off Tao's high as stress, and [[DeadpanSnarker Agatha]] isn't having ''any'' of it.
--->'''Translator:''' Mr. Cheng said he's very sorry, [[BlatantLies but he's under a lot of stress]].
--->'''Agatha:''' ''(exasperated)'' He didn't say that at all!
--->'''Translator:''' No, but he ''meant'' it.
--->'''Agatha:''' Whatever!
** Tao Cheng and his translator training with Brucie Kibbutz to prepare to fight the Duggans beginning in the Diamond Casino & Resort plotline's mission, "Play to Win"; needless to say, the training is quite useless and it's just shameless self-promotion on Kibbutz' part and Agatha is just left astounded and unamused.
*** To make it even funnier, Tao's translator ''is in his underwear'' the entire time.
** Anytime Tom Connors goes "Champagne?" during an inopportune moment when Agatha has an update on the selling of the Casino. Sure enough, in the very end, [[PetTheDog Thornton finally lets him pop open a bottle for celebration]].
* The entire Diamond Casino Heist, which is a sequel to the Diamond Casino & Resort update, has a couple of these:
** The heist itself is funny in an ironic way; you pay millions to buy a penthouse that the owners are desperate to sell off, only to have that casino sold off to the Duggans in the previous update...and now you're robbing that same casino, as if you're practically reimbursing yourself ''while'' still owning that same penthouse.
*** Keep in mind that this is ''before'' Cayo Perico was released, so Thornton Duggan was essentially a ButtMonkey for robbers before El Rubio.
** There is a prep mission where you have to loot a keycard from a dead valet whose body is at the morgue, and Lester tells you that valets always have accidents. On it's own, it may seem a bit morbid... Until you realize that you have probably killed the valet at the door at least once, and may very well be a serial valet killer, which is a fine example of LeaningOnTheFourthWall.
*** Related to the valet, one can see a poster inside the Casino during the heist that holds a "fundraiser" for the valet (who is named Felipe). Seems Rockstar knows all too well about the players' sociopathic tendencies towards that poor valet.
*** Another Casino NPC that might be up there with the valet in terms on terrible fates falling on them is the vault guard. When you enter the vault using the Gruppe Sechs disguise without alerting the guards in Big Con, he gets knocked out by one of your team, and when you are leaving, you overhear that his coworkers placed a laxative in his coffee.
--->'''Guard:''' That feller on the vault door, how did he look? We snuck a double strength laxative in his coffee. *laughs* [[ToiletHumor He'll be shitting slurry in his britches by now!]]
* The reveal by Ron in the intro to the "Smuggler's Run" Arc that after the events of the main game, Trevor reformed and has become a life-style coach. ''Trevor''.
* Players can apply itasha-themed liveries depicting either Princess Robot Bubblegum or Shiny Wasabi Kitty on select few vehicles. These vehicles range from tuner cars such as the Sultan RS and the Futo, somewhat unusual cars like the Scramjet, and of all things, the Volatol, '''''a delta-wing strategic bomber jet'''''. Yes, [[RefugeInAudacity you can apply a livery decipting a scantily-clad anime woman into a massive bomber jet.]]
* One of the new Open Wheel tracks introduced in the Los Santos Summer Special is "[[DoubleEntendre Morningwood]] Glory". Appropriately enough, the track itself vaguely resembles a penis.
* Pavel's dialogues when residing inside the Kosatka or scoping out Cayo Perico can bring a chuckle or two for players who are busy setting up the heist. One quote in partcular is a [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall wall-leaning]] [[TakeThat jab]] to the infamous Oppressor [=Mk2=] griefers running rampant on public lobbies.
-->'''Pavel:''' Have you ever tried shooting the missiles at the people on the flying bikes? Great sport here in America.
** Many of Pavel's anecdotes are rife with out-of-context [[NoodleIncident Noodle Incidents]] one can wonder how did he do to get into the mess. And as well as with his (fictional) Russian sayings.
--->'''Pavel:''' As we say in Russia, you can be accurate, or you can shit your pants. Not both.
* One of the approaches the player can take to get inside El Rubio's compound is to get the passcode for one of the side doors...the cutscene shows the player punching in the code, getting rejected, and then finally [[PercussiveMaintenance hitting the keypad out of visible frustration]] which makes it work and unlock the side door.
* The cutscene that plays when completing the Cayo Perico heist for the first time sees the player giving the stolen files from El Rubio back to Miguel Madrazo. However, upon inspection of the files, a horrified Miguel throws them into a nearby fire. It may seem like a ShaggyDogStory because all the effort took into retrieving the files may felt anticlimatic, but [[WhamShot the final shot]] of the cutscene reveals that those files are actually [[ParentalSexualitySquick a photo of Trevor and Patricia together, both in the nude]], giving the entire heist ''one hell'' of a TwistEnding.
** As per tradition with the game's hilarious PA announcements, some of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eLSfpg26-o El Rubio's lines while in the compound]] also count:
--->'''El Rubio:''' Hello? Hello, guards? Stop looking so fuckin' bored. This is a party island.
--->'''[[CasualDangerDialogue El Rubio]]:''' So, the panther is loose. If it mauls you, don't fight back, eh? It's worth more than any of you.
--->'''El Rubio:''' Hey, guards! Shut up out there! [[VillainsOutShopping I'm fuckin' meditating!]]
--->'''El Rubio:''' If you see so much as a movement in the trees, ''start fuckin' firing!'' ''[[KillItWithFire Then burn the trees down,]] [[StuffBlowingUp then blow them up...]]'' We can always relandscape.
--->'''El Rubio:''' ''[after being robbed more than once]'' ''What the fuck is this!?'' Is there a fuckin' welcome sign over my vault? Find the fucking thief!
* Even after 8 years, with both of them becoming successful in their lives, [[https://youtu.be/vPk2j-PsOJw Franklin still can't get away from Lamar's roasting]].
** Even funnier, after Lamar calls Franklin out for being a "dirty-ass bee-i-zee-itch", the latter [[IResembleThatRemark immediately sprays himself with a deodorant]] as he walks into his house, implying that [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne the last bit actually got him]].
* Franklin and Lamar notice Chop acting strange and unresponsive in front of them. Tension builds up as both of them worry that he might be dying of old age already, until MoodWhiplash happens when Lamar finds out that Chop just got high from eating their weed. Doubly hilarious with Franklin's line being "What the fuck did I tell you about eating weed?", implying that this ''wasn't even the first time'' it happened, and Chop being carried out by his legs afterward.
* The last mission of the Short Trip trilogy features a van [[ItMakesSenseInContext with panels]] [[Film/UpInSmoke made out of "marijuana bioplastic"]]. Near the end of the mission, Franklin and Lamar got stoned mid-drive because the gunfire from the Vagos in addition to the heatwave starts burning up the panels, [[HilarityEnsues and it goes downhill from there]].
* For the Online portion of the game, during the month of September of 2022, there was a soda wars in-game between eCola (the game's version of Coca-Cola) and Sprunk (the game's version of Sprite). However, due to someone looking at the in-game texture for an eCola can, it's revealed that Sprunk owns the eCola, meaning that the in-game "soda war" was manufactured and the soda company just played the Online players.
* The mission "Uncontrolled Substance" from the Los Santos Drug Wars. It starts off as what appears to be a fun little beer party to initiate the player...[[BaitAndSwitch only, it was actually acid they drank]], ''[[HilarityEnsues and it goes all downhill from there]]''. Remember the trip Michael had when Jimmy drugged his drink? Exactly like it. From an InterfaceScrew, to a visit to the afterlife of the Epsilonists (which hasn't been seen since the first time the player inevitably died)...it's definetly an unforgettable experience. Instead of the normal "Mission: Passed" scene, you get "Trip: Survived".
[[/folder]]

-->'''Cameraman:''' Oh my god! The guy-what's-his-name-they've shot him! Jesus Christ!

** Even funnier when you realise the caller is [[WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce Carl]].

* The mission "Uncontrolled Substance" from the Los Santos Drug Wars. It starts off as what appears to be a fun little beer party to initiate the player...[[BaitAndSwitch only, it was actually acid they drank]], ''[[HilarityEnsues and it goes all downhill from there]]. Remember the trip Michael had when Jimmy drugged his drink? Exactly like it. From an InterfaceScrew, to a visit to the afterlife of the Epsilonists (which hasn't been seen since the first time the player inevitably died)...it's definetly an unforgettable experience. Instead of the normal "Mission: Passed" scene, you get "Trip: Survived".

-->''[[SchmuckBait Press (Square/X) to see]] [[EjectionSeat what the red button does.]]''

'''Trevor: ''(running over an animal)'' The Apex Predator in action.\\

* Ever wish you could see Shawn Foteno and Slink Johnson do the "yee yee ass haircut" scene shot for shot in real life? [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU0oHq9Y6Ws Wish granted.]]