History Funny / GrandTheftAutoV

* Lamar's LeeroyJenkins tendencies make it so that if you hang out with him and get yourself into any fight, he will join you and try to beat up your opponents, no matter how low his HP is. Because of this, the Families gangster himself can be beat up and knocked out by people such as old women, transsexuals, and even homeless people.

* [[NoRespectGuy Lamar]]'s contact picture, which is presumably set by the owner of the phone themselves, is that of [[CoolPet Chop]], rather than, well, Lamar.

---->'''Trevor:''' It's none of your business, okay! Hey, it's a ''slight'' accent alright!? Fuck you! Hey, so I grew up in Canada, huh!? What's the big fucking deal, YOU FUCKING RACIST! AND BEFORE YOU FUCKING ASK, NO I'M NOT A MOTHERFUCKER!

'''Caller:''' Yeah, I'm calling to request, uh, any music...that ain't this. Stop playing everything you've been playing because your music sounds like a dumpster rolling down five flights of stairs!

'''Michael:''' [[SarcasmFailure ..."Bounce"?]] [[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow We're "bouncing" now?]] Is that's what we're doing? Jesus Christ.

* In the UsefulNotes/{{PS4}}, UsefulNotes/XBoxOne, and PC ports of the game, there are minigames involving the players taking Peyote trips, and they don't just trip balls; they ''[[BalefulPolymorph turn]] [[{{Animorphism}} into animals!]]'' Here's the full list:

!!'''All spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff per wiki policy]]. Read only at your own risk. [[{{Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned}} You Have Been Warned.]]'''

Funny moments in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV''.

!!'''All spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff per wiki policy]]. Read only at your own risk. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''

--->'''Dr. Friedlander''': [[GivingUpOnLogic I think you need a new therapist.]]

'''Trevor: (to Amanda)''' (Growls {{Angrish}}) - [[DistractedByTheSexy nice new tits]], by the way!

--> '''Trevor''': Nobody tells me what I want! (''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Cut to scene of Trevor bashing his head against pallet of wood]]'')

* In the gameplay trailer, Trevor is shown trying ([[EpicFail and failing]]) to flush a severed human leg down the toilet. Doubles as NightmareFuel because, well...he's trying to flush a ''severed human leg'' down the toilet!
--> '''Gameplay narrator''': [[YouDoNotWantToKnow ...The less said about him, the better.]]

--> '''Trevor''': ''[[WhatDidIDoLastNight The day after the night before...]]''\\

'''Trevor''': ''[[ImplausibleDeniability ...IT WASN'T ME]]!!!''

---> '''Trevor''': ''[[BlatantLies Self-defense, you hear me?!]]'' It's his word against mine! Only his power of speech probably went when his tongue came out of his throathole.

---> '''Trevor''': At the end of the day, it's just a public decency beef! You wanna put all these resources on a dude playing show and tell?! Maybe resisting arrest after that...and some officer assaults inbetween...and a couple of hit and runs, some shootings and a [[TitleDrop grand theft auto]]...but at the end of the day, I'm just a guy who likes to get his wang out!

---> '''Trevor''': I wasn't counting cards, [[CrossesTheLineTwice I was cheating]]!

---> '''Trevor''': Pink doesn't suit me anyway, motherfucker!

---> '''Trevor''': You'll be digging your own grave when I'm done with you!

---> '''Trevor''': Show me where it says pants are mandatory on the casino floor!

---> '''Trevor''': You think you own the road, don't you, you pedaling pricks?! Stupid outfits and arcane technology don't make you better than me! This country was built by and for the motorcar! GO TO FRANCE WITH YOUR BICYCLES!

---> '''Trevor''': Go around me, you prick!\\
'''Trevor''': [[HereWeGoAgain Oh no, no, not this again...]]\\
'''Trevor''': Oh, Trevor, when will you learn?

---> '''Trevor''': Learn to play the fucking saxophone!
---> '''Trevor''': That wasn’t the request...
---> '''Trevor''': I don’t want your tips. I want you to shut the fuck up!

*** Chasing a burning car though a drainage trench...
----> '''Trevor''': ''[[NoodleIncident I'M SORRY I SHOWED MY THINGY, OKAY?!?!?]]''

* On a related note, Michael can occasionally be found [[{{Troll}} causing traffic jams on the highway]] [[ItAmusedMe for shits and giggles.]]

-->'''Michael''': Could you be any more of a redneck? \\
'''Michael''': Thanks, but I'm more of a medium rare kind of guy. \\
'''Michael''': Glad to see you have so much time on your hands.\\
'''Franklin''': Is there anything you won't shoot? \\
'''Franklin''': Why u sending me photos of dead animals?\\
'''Franklin''': I hope u gonna eat that.\\
'''Jimmy''': Politically correct as ever, Uncle Trevor.\\
'''Lamar''': I only smoke homies with 2 legs.\\
'''Tao Cheng''': WTF? Is this some kind of threat?\\
'''Dave''': That one I can't arrest you for.\\
'''Wade''': One for the wall!\\
'''Ron''': Y u no take me hunting Trevor?\\
'''Devin Weston''': That's not how you alpha-male a vegan.\\
'''Nigel Thornhill''': Now if we could just get a photo of you WITH the dead animal, Jock? Mrs. Thornhill would be so happy.\\
'''Patrica Madrazo''': carino you're so unpredictable xx\\
'''Various contacts''': Dude, seriously.\\
'''Various contacts''': Is that what I think it is?\\
'''Various contacts''': What the ''fuck'', Trevor!?

--->'''Cletus''': Jeessus Trevor that is definitely no elk.\\
'''Cletus''': Why are you sending me snuff?

'''Trevor (Running over an animal):''' The Apex Predator in action.\\
'''Trevor:''' You wanna end up in the trunk of this thing?! [[note]]It's even funnier if you're playing Option C after putting Devin in the trunk.[[/note]]

--> '''Trevor''': Winner gets to keep Michael!

--> '''Franklin''': We can't repo assets off a dead man, [[ClusterFBomb big sittin' chief asshole]]!

-->'''[[BrattyTeenageDaughter Tracey]]''': ''Daaadd!'' Jimmy said I had a massive... ''Jimmy called me a BITCH!!''\\
'''[[CheatingWithTheMilkman Kyle Chavis]], upon seeing Franklin''': Help! He's Black! Help!

--> '''Michael''': Ladies! Gentlemen! This is ''your'' moment. Please [[ImpliedDeathThreat don't make me ruin all the great work]] [[AcceptableTargets your plastic surgeons have been doin']]!

--> '''Simeon''': [[HopeSpot You tell me exactly what you want]], and [[BrutalHonesty I will very carefully explain to you]] [[YankTheDogsChain why it cannot be]].\\
'''Franklin''': ''[[BigWhat What?!]]''

-->'''Johnny K''': Trevor! I'm talking to you, motherfucker!\\
'''Trevor''': Are you? What're you sayin'?\\
'''Johnny K''': Fuckin' my girl, man, it's wrong.\\
'''Trevor''': Well, I gotta fuck someone. You want me to fuck you instead, is that the problem here? (''in a hushed voice'') ...take off your pants, cowboy, alright? Let's...[[DepravedBisexual let's fuck]]...\\
'''Johnny K''': You think this is funny?\\
'''Trevor''': [[SuddenlyShouting GET THEM OFF!]]

-->'''Trevor''': '''''UUUUURGH, THIS MUSIC'S ALL FUCKING WRONG!!!''''' (''switches the station to Channel X'') '''''THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR!'''''

-->'''Wade''': Floyd, it's me, Wade!\\
'''Floyd''': Who?\\
'''Wade''': Me, Wade, your cousin!\\
'''Floyd''': Who?\\
'''Trevor''': (''kicks the door in and knocks Floyd over'') YOUR COUSIN, fuck! He's come to visit you, you rude fuck, now get up off the floor and get me a fucking drink!\\
'''Floyd''': Oh, you, Wade! I heard you was smoking meth somewhere...\\
'''Trevor''': No, not somewhere, here. He's gonna smoke meth ''here''. Get me a fucking lighter.

-->'''Floyd''': I ain't got a very big penis. Some girls laugh when...when they look at it...\\
'''Trevor''': Huh...show me....SHOW ME!\\
'''Floyd''': I-I-I-I don' want to...\\
'''Trevor''': {''sighs exasperatedly and drops his pants'') Mine ain't nothing special, but this boy gets the job done. Alright? Now, Wade here says you work at the docks...\\
'''Floyd''': (''nervously averting his gaze'') ...yes...\\
'''Trevor''': LOOK AT ME!\\
'''Floyd''': ...could you just...put your Johnson away...sir...?\\

-->'''Trevor''': [[BrickJoke Do you want me to get my dick out again?]]

-->'''Floyd''': This ain't a toy, sir, it's heavy machinery!\\
'''Trevor''': Thank fuck I'm high as a kite!\\

'''Trevor''': Hey, whose dick do you have to suck to get this job? Being a stevedor used to be back-breaking work, now you're paid brain surgeon bucks to push an oversized shopping cart.\\
'''Floyd''': I did not fellatiate no one to get this job! I was old friends with the...well, with the...\\
'''Trevor''': "Urgh, with the...with the..." Say no more, you didn't fellate no one, but Darling Debbie probably did. And she probably enjoyed it.

--> '''Lamar:''' 'Sup, can a loc come in your crib?\\

** What’s funnier is the fact that the entire roast was entirely uncalled for and only prompted because Franklin said Lamar couldn’t come into his house. Basically DisproportionateRetribution in word form.

---> '''Lamar''' (opening a conversation): ''Gangsta'' shit, nigga!

--->'''Lamar''': I think they see me my nigga. They goin' run up on me! ([[OhCrap panicking]]) ''SOS, nigga! '''SOS!'''''\\

'''Franklin''': These fools picking on you? It wouldn't be right if I didn't have to save your ass just once.\\
'''Lamar''': Save me? [[BlatantLies Nigga, I just wanted some company.]]

--->'''Lamar''': I can take care of my sizelf.\\
'''Franklin''': [[TooDumbToLive No the fuck you cizan't!]]

--->'''Franklin''': Hey, Apache blood. You going to be able to trace this nigga if he goes to the ground? I know your ancestors taught you them buffalo tracking skills.\\
'''Lamar''': Man, I ain't gonna perform for you like some "injun" in a Wild West show. That's racist, bitch.\\
'''Franklin''': You fucking full of shit!

--> '''Ray''': I'm a sleepin' baby. I hate it when people say they "sleep like a baby". Babies sleep like '''''SHIT!!!''''' They need a titty to get through the night!

--->'''Cheryl''': Are you sure it was Tibet?\\
'''Ray''': I don't know! [[UsefulNotes/{{Wales}} Some darn place with hills and sheep, and everyone singing in choirs, and all are inbred, and they played a lot of rugby]]. Things like that. [[GlobalIgnorance Tibetan stuff]], you know.

-->'''Ron''': You think they sabotaged this truck?\\
'''Trevor''': ({{Beat}}) Shut '''''up''''', Ron!

-->'''Franklin''': [[VisibleSilence ......]] ''I '''don't''' wanna know...''\\
'''Denise''': Franklin-!\\
'''Franklin''': ''What the '''fuck?!''' ''I mean, what the hell goin' on here?\\
'''Denise''': Wait a minute, ''Franklin, what are you doing here?!''\\
'''Franklin''': '''''I live here!''''' This half of my house too!\\
'''Denise''': So you say? Anyway, Magenta here is reinvigorating ''my'' femininity. ''So make yourself scarce, boy!''\\
'''Franklin''': (Rolls eyes until they're in the back of his head) ''With '''pleasure!'''''

--->'''Trevor''': '''[[BigShutUp SHUT THE FUCK UP!!]]... thank you.'''

--->'''Denise''': (Ranting at Franklin for disobeying her constantly and also for ignoring his gang-banger friends) I say become a doctor, you say become a patient! I say-who is that?\\
'''Trevor''': Helloooooo, missy! Franklin, you never told me you had a sister.\\
'''Denise''': I'm Denise, Franklin's housemate.\\
'''Franklin''': [[DeadpanSnarker AND aunt, my mother's old dried-up ass sister-]]\\
'''Denise''': SHUT THE FUCK UP!\\
'''Trevor''': [[LargeHam Yeah, SHUT THE FUCK UP!]]\\

'''Trevor''': (hands Denise money) Here, darlin'. Why don't you go get yourself somethin' nice, okay?\\
'''Denise''': Oh, thank you! (giggles, flips through the money) ...this is seven dollars.\\
'''Trevor''': I said something [[ExactWords NICE, not something EXPENSIVE]]. You wanna [[UngratefulBastard be a greedy fuckin' cow]], huh? No. Now get the fuck outta here, alright?\\
'''Denise''': You men are all the same!

--->'''Fabien''': You must be Michael, namaste.\\
'''Michael''': Na-ma-[[PrecisionFStrike go fuck yourself]].[[labelnote:*]]Incidentally, that line was a ThrowItIn moment from Michael's actor, Ned Luke. Additionally, his real-life wife, Amy Sax, is a yoga instructor.[[/labelnote]]

-->'''Trevor''': Y'know how fast you were goin'?\\
'''Kid in car''': Gee, I dunno, officer. I try to keep it under limit.\\
'''Trevor''': Well, you and your boys looked like you were drag-racing from where we were sitting there, so uh...why don't you get yourself out of the car? C'mon.\\
'''Kid in car''': Officer, is this really necessary?\\
'''Trevor''': "Officer, Officer", yes it is, c'mon. Hands on the car. Let's go, c'mon.\\
'''Michael''': ''Get out of the fucking car!'' '''''Get out of the fucking car, you pint-sized PRICK!'''''

--->'''Debra''': You're not a man at all. Bob's right about you.\\
'''Trevor''': Whoa, who's Bob...?

-->'''Franklin''' ''(angrily)'': Hey! Hey! Enough! You got me out here! You roped me into your crazy world of bullshit! If it was lies, New Age shit, and arguments about how good life used to be, I could have stayed my ass in Los Santos!\\
'''Lester''' ''(cheerily)'': Hello, Franklin!\\

--->'''Dave''': [[WhatTheHellHero What the hell?!]]\\
'''Michael''': That was the guy! I had a feeling. It'll check out.\\
'''Dave''': Well... we've... got him. It's done.

--->'''Dave''': He's ''[[AmbiguouslyBrown Eastern]]'', Michael.\\
'''Michael''': Half this town looks Eastern, Davey! You got [[{{UsefulNotes/Iran}} the fall of the Shah]] and [[WhyWereBummedCommunismFell the collapse of Communism]] [[NiceJobBreakingItHero to thank for that!]]

--->'''Dave''': [[WhatTheHellHero Jesus, Michael, what the fuck is wrong with you?!]]\\
'''Michael''': [[DeadpanSnarker What? I was aiming at a target. Anyone in that building was probably just as evil and corrupt as the guy we're after.]]

--->'''Michael''': [[DeadpanSnarker OHHH, now I get it! You're telling me to assassinate a guy]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint because he's got]] [[FelonyMisdemeanor facial hair, a cigarette, AND...]] ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking he's left-handed!]]''\\
'''Dave''': [[TheComicallySerious I'm telling you to assassinate a guy because he's a threat to national security. The rest is just details.]]\\

'''Michael''': Oh, I see someone. He fits the profile. ''Yup'' - fits it all the way! I got a good feeling... well, [[LampshadeHanging good as you can get while clipping a guy who probably don't deserve it]].

--->'''Dave''': What was that? We had an ID.\\
'''Michael''': I was acting on a hunch. That's what us balls to the wall agents do, ain't it?\\
'''Dave''': You're an idiot. ''(to Steve, on the phone)'' Steve, Michael's an idiot.

--->'''Steve''': Let me tell you something, that guy gets more tail than a... [[BuffySpeak than a Tail Catcher!]] (Laughs at his own stupid joke)\\
'''Trevor''': [[DeadpanSnarker I'll have to fuckin' remember that line.]]

--> '''Michael:''' Industries or incorporated? If it's TP Inc., it'd be Trevor Philips Incorporated. Just sayin'.

--> Ya oughta speak English, if you like it here so much! Not Spanish, or Chinese, or British, and not fucking Dutch! [[TakeThat Fuck the Dutch!]]
* [[StraightMan Franklin]], [[TheStoic who usually isn't the one to laugh out loud]], [[NotSoAboveItAll can't stop himself from laughing hysterically]] ([[AudienceSurrogate and the player probably can't either]]) when Trevor tries to hop his fence [[EpicFail and ends up falling over it]] at the start of "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWuvwq2anb0 Fresh Meat]]"

** If you fail the Yoga mission, the game over screen will read "[[ItsAWonderfulFailure Michael did not reach enlightenment]]."

---> '''Michael:''' [[DeadpanSnarker (As one of the other guys) "Thank you, Michael." (As himself) "Hey, no problem, really!"]]

'''Hugh''' ''(in nasally American accent)''''':''' ''I'm totally British!'' ''(back to British)'' I am so, mate!

--> "Y'know, it really irks me when people refer to my lifestyle choice as a game."

--> '''Steve''': [[FauxAffablyEvil Bzzzt! Sorry, you're out of time. Trevor, show our contestant what he's won today!]]

--->(When going for the water-boarding implements): "If my mother water-boarded me as a kid, I wouldn't be the murdering psychopath you see now!"\\

-->'''Michael''': (After Steve brings up a useless fact about the Oxy-Hydro cutter he's using) So, you got any more little facts for me from the instruction manual?\\
'''Steve''': Thought you'd want some intel on the equipment we sourced using your hard-won funds.\\
'''Michael''': Ah, I figured it was all gonna go on a wardrobe full of windbreakers... oh, and maybe some nipple clamps.

--->'''Michael''': (As they're swimming up an underwater tunnel) Ah, I feel like I'm giving a colonoscopy to the Statue of Happiness!\\
'''Steve''': Nice change from being up Trevor Phillips' ass all day.\\
'''David''': You feel that? Water's getting warmer.\\
'''Michael''': You wet your pants, Davy?\\
'''Steve''': This is a cooling tunnel. Of course it's getting warmer. No one urinated.\\
'''Michael''': Uh... I know for a fact that that ain't true.

* One of the Gold requirements for the "Derailed" mission, where Michael and Trevor rob a train is [[VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas "Better Than CJ,"]] a hilarious nod to the [[ThatOneLevel infamous]] mission with Big Smoke from San Andreas.

* When Hao first challenges Franklin to a race, he openly claims he's getting first place. However, the game doesn't change the scripting of vehicle activity for when he pulls out of his alley, so it's possible that - as he's done smack-talking you - [[EpicFail he plows right into someone's car.]]

-->'''Lester''': I know you've been... "complaining," but you weren't ready.

-->'''Franklin''': So you think because I'm a black guy I'd be cool with this shit?\\
'''Walter''': So you're not cool with it?\\
'''Franklin''': No, for sure, I am. -beat- That's not the point though.

* Steve Haines likes to think of himself as a larger-than-life hero, and gets very angry when others refuse to acknowledge his "greatness". When you assassinate him as he's filming an episode of ''The Underbelly of Paradise'' in Ending C, his cameraman ''can't even remember Haines's name''.
-->'''Cameraman''': Oh my god! The guy-what's-his-name-they've shot him! Jesus Christ!

-->'''Devin''': You know, you're a-you're a resourceful guy, getting past those trained killers. [[WeCanRuleTogether I need someone like you, in my organization!]]\\
'''Trevor''': The [=CEO=] position's gonna be vacant ''real'' soon, [[IronicEcho slick]]!\\
'''Devin''': I got nothing against you, apart from the obvious hygiene issues. Michael caused me problems, so Michael had to go!\\
'''Trevor''': ''You're'' looking at it ''rationally'' - there are people useful to you, and people who ain't, so people who ain't gotta go! Me? ''[[TheUnfettered I'm not rational]]'', [[TheUnfettered I don't]] ''[[TheUnfettered care]]'' [[TheUnfettered if you're useful, or not]]. [[ForTheEvulz I]] ''[[ForTheEvulz feel]]'' [[ForTheEvulz like taking you out, Devo, so that's what I'm doing]].\\
'''Devin''': This is a serious offer! Work for me, you'll have ''everything'' you ever wanted!\\
'''Trevor''': [[BrutalHonesty All I ever wanted is to see you]] [[ColdBloodedTorture drift in and out of consciousness as you're slowly disemboweled!]]\\
'''Devin''': [[SarcasmBlind Yes! Yes!]] That's the kind of creativity I need on my team! Come on, come on! Let me out of here!\\
'''Trevor''': Look, I got ''my own'' company - Trevor Phillips Industries!\\
'''Devin''': Ohh, yeah, a-a-a-a fellow entrepreneur! Uh, [[DirtyCoward let me buy a stake, uh, give you money to grow!]]\\
'''Trevor''': I don't know if you heard, but I'm kinda gold rich right now, so [[ShutUpHannibal you got precisely]] ''[[AwfulTruth nothing]]'' [[ShutUpHannibal to offer.]] [[PreMortemOneLiner Prepare for the end, my friend.]]\\
'''Devin''': '''''[[SuddenlyShouting YOU CREEPY BUM!!]]''''' You're [[PrecisionFStrike fucked!]] ''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCKED!]]'' \\

--> '''Maude''': How've ya been?\\
'''Trevor''': Oh, simply wonderful. And you?\\
'''Maude''': [[DeadpanSnarker Somewhere stuck between 'joyful' and 'peachy'.]]

-->'''Barry:''': I smoke this all day and I'm fine! ''(Lights one up for Michael)'' Just a pure... mellow high...\\

--->'''Barry:''' ... so I take it I can count on your support?\\

'''Michael:''' ... the ''fuck'' just happened?!\\

'''Michael:''' ''... stay the fuck away from me!'' ([[ScrewThisImOuttaHere storms off]])\\

'''Trevor:''' ... The AIDS?\\

'''Barry:''' ''Legalization!'' Here, sign! ... Shit, where's my pen? Where's my pen?\\

'''Trevor:''' Legalize smoke? You fucking kidding me?! I make a shitload of money selling that, alright?! The last thing I can handle is legalization, now ''fuck off!''

--->'''Barry''': Can't you see the [[LampshadeHanging aliens]]?\\

'''Franklin''': Man, what else are you takin'?

*** '''Rampage 1''': Rednecks

You insult me in ''my home town?!''\\

*** '''Rampage 2''': Los Santos Vagos

*** '''Rampage 3''': Ballas Gangsters

*** '''Rampage 4''': [[SerialEscalation The U.S. Army]]

*** '''Rampage 5''': [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Killer Hipsters]]

'''Trevor:''' Well, one, [[CardCarryingVillain I'm a bad person]]. Two, I understand that love takes many forms. And three, most importantly, ''you've seen all our faces''. [[MurderIsTheBestSolution I made the mistake of not tying up loose ends once before]]. [[note]] [[CallBack In his first job, as a matter of fact.]] [[/note]]

-->'''Sasquatch:''' [[GetItOverWith Shoot me, human]]...\\

'''Sasquatch:''' [[GetItOverWith Shoot me,]] human! [[MercyKill Make it stop!]]\\

--> ''(Trevor walks out of his trailer to check on the player's delivered vehicle)''\\

---> '''Trevor:''' Ron, go out and talk to that creepy friend of yours that doesn't speak!

---> ''"I'm totally fucked like a melon!"''

---> '''Translator:''' Mr. Cheng said he's very sorry, [[BlatantLies but he's under alot of stress]].
---> '''Agatha:''' (exasperated) He didn't say that at all!
---> '''Translator:''' No, but he ''meant'' it.
---> '''Agatha:''' Whatever!

--> '''Pavel:''' Have you ever tried shooting the missiles at the people on the flying bikes? Great sport here in America.

---> '''Pavel:''' As we say in Russia, you can be accurate, or you can shit your pants. Not both.

[[/folder]]

'''Trevor:''' Well, one, [[CardCarryingVillain I'm a bad person]]. Two, I understand that love takes many forms. And three, most importantly, ''you've seen all our faces''. [[MurderIsTheBestSolution I made the mistake of not tying up loose ends once before]].

---> '''Translator:''' Mr. Cheng said he's very sorry, but he's under alot of stress.

** Tao's translator tries to play off Tao's high as stress, and Agatha isn't having ''any'' of it.

** Tao Cheng literally comes flying in like a plane, true to form, and his first words to the plater?

* Tao Cheng and his translator training with Brucie Kibbutz to prepare to fight the Duggans beginning in the Diamond Casino & Resort plotline's mission, "Play to Win"; needless to say, the training is quite useless and it's just shameless self-promotion on Kibbutz' part and Agatha is just left astounded and unamused.
** To make it even funnier, Tao's translator ''is in his underwear'' the entire time.
* Anytime Tom Connors goes "Champagne?" during an inopportune moment when Agatha has an update on the selling of the Casino. Sure enough, in the very end, [[PetTheDog Thornton finally lets him pop open a bottle for celebration]].

* The entire Diamond Casino Heist, which is a sequel to the Diamond Casino & Resort update, itself is funny in an ironic way; you pay millions to buy a penthouse that the owners are desperate to sell off, only to have that casino sold off to the Duggans in the previous update...and now you're robbing that same casino, as if you're practically reimbursing yourself ''while'' still owning that same penthouse.
** Keep in mind that this is ''before'' Cayo Perico was released, so Thornton Duggan was essentially a ButtMonkey for robbers before El Rubio.
* The Casino Heist has a prep mission where you have to loot a keycard from a dead valet whose body is at the morgue, and Lester tells you that valets always have accidents. On it's own, it may seem a bit morbid... Until you realize that you have probably killed the valet at the door at least once, and may very well be a serial valet killer, which is a fine example of LeaningOnTheFourthWall.
** Related to the valet, one can see a poster inside the Casino during the heist that holds a "fundraiser" for the valet (who is named Felipe). Seems Rockstar knows all too well about the players' sociopathic tendencies towards that poor valet.
** Another Casino NPC that might be up there with the valet in terms on terrible fates falling on them is the vault guard. When you enter the vault using the Gruppe Sechs disguise without alerting the guards in Big Con, he gets knocked out by one of your team, and when you are leaving, you overhear that his coworkers placed a laxative in his coffee.

* Tao Cheng and his translator training with Brucie Kibbutz to prepare to fight the Duggans beginning in the Diamond Casino Resort contact mission, "Play to Win"; needless to say, the training is quite useless and it's just shameless self-promotion on Kibbutz' part and Agatha is just left astounded and unamused.

* Tao Cheng and his translator training with Brucie Kibbutz to prepare to fight the Duggans beginning in the Diamond Casion Resort contact mission, "Play to Win"; needless to say, the training is quite useless and it's just shameless self-promotion on Kibbutz' part and Agatha is just left astounded and unamused.

'''Michael''': [[UpToEleven Half this town looks Eastern]], Davey! You got [[{{UsefulNotes/Iran}} the fall of the Shah]] and [[WhyWereBummedCommunismFell the collapse of Communism]] [[NiceJobBreakingItHero to thank for that!]]

'''Lester''' ''(cheerily)'': Hi, Franklin!\\

'''Lamar:''' Aw, nigga, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful, nigga! Maybe if you got rid of that ol' yee-yee-ass haircut you got, you'd get some bitches on your dick. Oh! Better yet -- maybe Tanisha'll call your dawg-ass if she ever stops fucking that brain-surgeon or lawyer she fucking with. ''(leans in; in a sing-song voice)'' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkpGBiSck20 Nigga~]] ''[Exit Lamar]''\\