History Funny / GodOfWarPS4

'''Kratos':'' ''[''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny faintly amused]]'']'' The head is having fun with you.\\

-->'''Atreus''': [[DoubleTake Wait, what?]]

--->'''Mimir''': Me? I'm the greatest ambassador to the gods, the Giants, and all the creatures of the Nine Realms. I know every corner of these lands, every language ever spoken, every war waged, every deal struck. They call me...Mimir!--smartest man alive and I have the answer to your every question.\\
'''Kratos''': Why does the son of Odin hunt us?\\
'''Mimir''': [pauses, then deadpan] Okay, there are a few gaps in my knowledge.\\
'''Kratos''': [grunts in annoyance]

--->'''Kratos''': I'm going to cut your head off now.\\
'''Mimir''': Fair enough.

--->'''Kratos''': ''[sees the illusion of Zeus]'' Zeus...\\
'''Mimir''': Zeus?!\\
'''Kratos''': My father...\\
'''Mimir''': Your father was Zeus?! Well, that explains a ''lot.''

--->'''Mimir''': (laughing) Almost talked them into it too... Can you imagine? Mimir of the Bifrost Teats! (laughing) Those were the days...\\
'''Atreus''': [[BrainBleach Ewww.]]\\
'''Mimir''': Okay, okay... I'lll stop now.

--->'''Mimir''': Nearly everything about dragons is useful, and contains power. Teeth, scales, even excrement.\\
'''Atreus''': "Excrement"?\\
'''Mimir''': Uh... [[LaymansTerms "shit".]]\\
'''Atreus''': Dragon shit is powerful?\\
'''Mimir''': [''chuckling''] Aye, lad. Potently powerful!\\
'''Kratos''': [''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny faintly amused]]''] The head is having fun with you.\\
'''Atreus''': Oh! I- I knew that!

--->'''Atreus''': Uh... deer's this way. I can see the tracks. ''(cue Kratos going on his merry way looking for hidden loot)'' ...Or we can follow you.

--->'''Atreus''': Uh — found it!

-->'''Sindri''': Burn that.

--> '''Kratos''': Use it only as a last resort.\\
'''Atreus''': You're giving me your axe?\\
'''Kratos''': I am letting you ''hold'' my axe. It is not a gift.\\
'''Atreus''': Still...

'''Kratos''': Hmm.

* After Kratos and Atreus save Sindri from a dragon, the latter tries to reward them with a gift. The next scene has him take out several item out of his little BagOfHolding (a bunch of arrows, a halberd, a sickle, a horn, a spoon and finally a salmon), while listing everything his brother has to say about him. The salmon startles him and he then drops it in disgust, just after he mentions that he's "fussy" according to Brok.

* After collecting some odd materials for armor that the Huldra Brothers can craft out of them, Atreus attempts to ask how they can make a piece of armor out of such questionable materials, Brok simply replies with [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R74P3M2QLFs Nunya]].

-->'''Brok''': None 'ya fuckin' business. Trade secret. We got our ways...

** When Mimir explains how, when the giants gave him his bifrost eyes, [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy he got so drunk]] to dull the pain that he tried to convince them to [[TooMuchInformation put the bifrost crystals in his nipples]], and he claims he was almost did.

'''Mirmir''': [pauses, then deadpan] Okay, there are a few gaps in my knowledge.\\

** And then Kratos tosses the axe just ''inches'' from Sindri's face. But that's not what upsets him; he's more upset that Kratos let Brok handle the axe again.

'''Mirmir''': [pauses, then deadpan] Okay, there are a few gaps in my knowledge.

-->'''Brok''': None 'ya fuckin' business. Trade secret. We got our ways.

-->'''Atreus''': Oh.

--->'''Mimir''': ''Me? I'm the greatest ambassador to the gods, the Giants, and all the creatures of the Nine Realms. I know every corner of these lands, every language ever spoken, every war waged, every deal struck. They call me...Mimir!--smartest man alive and I have the answer to your every question.\\

'''Mirmir''': [pauses, then deadpan] Okay, there are a few gaps in my knowledge.\\

* Near the end of the Story Trailer, Kratos and his son are able to face what appears to be some unknown monster when Artreus asks his father if he can kill something "that big." Kratos, who's slain Titans the size of skyscrapers and killed the entire [[Myth/ClassicalMythology Greek Pantheon]], looks at his son and, thanks to the light reflecting on his eye, it looks like he's giving the audience an AsideGlance.

-->'''Kratos''': I'm going to cut your head off now.\\

-->'''Kratos''': ''[sees the illusion of Zeus]'' Zeus...\\

-->'''Mimir''': (laughing) Almost talked them into it too... Can you imagine? Mimir of the Bifrost Teats! (laughing) Those were the days...\\

-->'''Mimir''': Nearly everything about dragons is useful, and contains power. Teeth, scales, even excrement.\\

-->'''Atreus''': Uh... deer's this way. I can see the tracks. ''(cue Kratos going on his merry way looking for hidden loot)'' ...Or we can follow you.

-->'''Atreus''': Uh — found it!

--> '''Kratos''': Use it only as a last resort.
--> '''Atreus''': You're giving me your axe?
--> '''Kratos''': I am letting you ''hold'' my axe. It is not a gift.
--> '''Atreus''': Still...

-->'''Atreus''': If she can't bring it back to life, can we keep the head?
-->'''Kratos''': No... But you may feed it to the fish.
-->'''Atreus''': ''(cheerfully)'' Okay!

--> '''Sindri''': Hey, did you hear? Magni, the Aesir god, son of Thor? Dead! I know! Now Modi's on a rampage across Midgard, looking for the killer, swearing that once he finds him he'll-- [[ExplainExplainOhCrap Oh shit, that was you guys.]]
--> '''Atreus''': We should probably discuss that more quietly.
--> '''Sindri''': Or not at all. I think that's a great plan.

--> '''Brok''': Word is someone put down that loudmouth Magni. Wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
--> '''Atreus''': Would that be a good thing or a bad thing?
--> '''Brok''': Bad for you once his daddy finds out...''(cheerfully)'' But one less Aesir farting around suits me just fine. In fact, next upgrade's one the house!
--> '''Atreus''': Really?
--> '''Brok''': No.
--> '''Atreus''': ...Wow.

-->'''Sindri:''' Well that was a waste of a perfectly good apple.

'''Kratos''': ''(chuckle)'' Freya.
--> '''Mimir''': How's that, brother?
--> '''Kratos''': Head, tell me Baldur's vulnerability.
--> '''Mimir''': Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical.
--> '''Atreus''': Wait, what is happening?
--> '''Kratos''': He is bewitched not to speak of what he knows.
--> '''Mimir''': I am? I AM! That's it precisely. Ooh... I wonder how long that's been so, since she had m'head at her mercy, or back when I figured out Baldur's weakness?
--> '''Atreus''': Mimir!
--> '''Mimir''': Yes, lad?
--> '''Atreus''': You just said you figured out Baldur's weakness!
--> '''Mimir''': Did I? [[BrokenRecord But Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical.]]
--> '''Atreus''': AUGH!
--> '''Kratos''': Enough. This means there is a way. If he troubles us again, we will find it.

--> '''Atreus''': I'm confused. I always heard that Baldur's mother was Frigg.
--> '''Mimir''': Aye, Frigg...well, that's more of a pet name, you see. It means, "beloved." Something Odin called Freya after they wed. Out of affection, at first, or so I like to believe. As things turned sour, it became a way to manipulate the truth.
--> '''Atreus''': How so?
--> '''Mimir''': Odin didn't want Freya, a Vanir goddess, getting credit for anything in Asgard. So anything worthy she accomplished was attributed to Frigg.
--> '''Atreus''': Like being Baldur's mother.
--> '''Mimir''': That's RIGHT -- Freya was Baldur's mother all along!
--> '''Atreus''': ''(sighs)''

-->'''Brok:''' I'm telling you, it's Fimbulwitner. I can feel it in my scrote -- this is the big one!
-->'''Sindri:''' Oh, you're making me nervous. It was bound to snow sooner or later.
-->'''Brok:''' That ain't just snow and you know it! It's the end times!
-->'''Sindri:''' How dare you make me the voice of reason!
-->'''Atreus:''' Guys?
-->'''Sindri:''' Just discussing the weather. Bit of a cold snap lately.
-->'''Brok:''' What he means is, Fimbulwinter's upon us, boys! The winter to end all winters! I can feel it in my scrote!
-->'''Atreus:''' Yeah...yeah...we heard.
-->'''Sindri:''' So, if you're heading home, try to keep moving, and also, to not die.
-->'''Brok:''' Or if you're not heading home, same advice.
* Mixed with Heatwarming, but after moving the Bridge to the mystic gateway (i.e., by flipping the ''entire Temple over''), Atreus asks Kratos in sincere tone if he hurt his back. Kratos just says grumpily, “I did not hurt my back”.

--> '''Mimir''': Ah, a Sgian-dubh from my homeland ''(a Sgian-dubh is a small knife)''. Used to have one of my own back in the day. You should take it, boy!
--> '''Kratos''': Yes, boy... take it. We might need to butter bread somewhere on our travels.
--> '''Mimir''': This is why no one likes you.

--> '''Mimir''': Hah!

--> '''Atreus''': ''(reading)'' Until gods grow good.
--> '''Mimir''': [[DeadpanSnarker Could be quite a wait.]]

* Reading some runes, Atreus explains to Kratos that they represent the three Nornir, aka the fates.
-->'''Kratos''': The fates? [[VideoGame/GodOfWarII No good comes from them.]]
-->'''Atreus''': ...[[LockedOutOfTheLoop Okay?]]

-->'''Mimir:''' If I'm not mistaken, we've yet to discuss the tale of the giant Bergelmir...
-->'''Atreus:''' Oh yeah, I remember his shrine... It looked happier than the other ones. Mostly...
-->'''Mimir:''' It begins... in an ocean of blood!
-->'''Kratos:''' (''in his best 'I'm so done with all this shit' voice'') [[DeadpanSnarker Finally!]] [[BloodKnight A story worth hearing.]]

-->'''Kratos''': Head, you are full of stories. When will you tell one that entertains?
-->'''Mimir:''' (''clearly offended'') I beg your pardon?
-->'''Atreus:''' He just insulted you.
-->'''Mimir:''' Yeah, I got that.

-->'''Mimir:''' And so-
-->'''Kratos:''' Reflect longer.

-->'''Atreus:''' Father, these are Valkyries! They’re the ones who keep the dead from overrunning Midgard!
-->'''Kratos:''' (''after spending most of the game killing undead'') [[BrutalHonesty Then they are terrible at their job.]]

--->'''Mimir:''' Well, brothers, I've been to many strange places, but this'll be a new one.
--->'''Atreus:''' Heh, yeah, I've never been in a giant's belly either. How about you, father?
--->'''Kratos:''' Never one that was not [[VideoGame/GodOfWarIII trying to eat me]].
--->'''Mimir:''' We really should expect that sort of response at this point.

-->'''Kratos''': Only fire when I tell you fire.
-->'''Atreus''': I'm ''sorry''.
-->'''Kratos''': Hi, "Sorry." I'm Dad.

-->'''Atreus''': Let's hope this doesn't cause you to explode or anything.
-->'''Mimir''': Oh... hadn't considered that. Maybe we should talk about this a bit more.
-->'''Atreus''': Nah, I'm sure you'll be fine.

* The Witch asks Kratos to pick a couple of flowers from her garden. Cue the God of War performing what amounts to a full-body eyeroll at this indignity.

** Fun fact: in ancient Greece, throwing an apple at someone was a marriage proposal, and catching it meant they accepted it. [[note]]That's actually a meme, but imagine if that was the case in the franchise's setting[[/note]] With that in mind, this scene becomes 10x more hilarious.

* When Kratos has Mimir talk to the World Serpent, Mimir clears his voice by howling "Aaaaa-wooooooo" at him. A few seconds later, he speaks a word that, through some brilliant animation, you practically see Jörmungandr giving a "'The fu*k'd you say?!" expression towards our heroes, making Mimir go [[OhCrap "Oh dear!"]] and correct himself to finally calm him. Atreus questions afterwards why Jörmungandr seemed mad at that time, with Mimir explaining that he accidentally said Atreus and Kratos were ''friends'' of Odin.

** Going off to find the murdered man's son, Kratos decides to straight up yoink the dagger, pulling it from the man's back. His ghost is ''not'' happy about this, and futilely swipes at Kratos while yelling at him.

** After this, Sindri reluctantly agrees to carry the axe... and the entire time he does so, he’s [[FauxHorrific cringing in horror and generally acting like he’s carrying a rod of plutonium]].

'''Kratos:''' ''[[[NotSoAboveItAll awkwardly]]]'' Yes. He did say that. That was the story.

* Mimir's supposed Well of Wisdom, Mímisbrunnr, in this take on Norse Myth, was actually a well filled with hallucinogenic herbs and mushrooms that Mimir tricked Odin into imbibing. He then claimed that Odin had received "wisdom" from it, which is how he got the job of Odin's advisor. The image of Odin getting stoned out of his mind is pretty hilarious.