History Funny / Elf

-->"I'm sorry that I ruined your life [[MoodWhiplash and]] [[NoodleIncident crammed eleven cookies into the VCR]]."

-->'''Walter:''' Apparently, all we have is vegetables. I have no time so, you know, if you got a story here...\\

--->'''Santa:''' "Back off, slick! You're scaring the deer!"\\

* During the single [[ComedicWorkSeriousScene saddest moment in the film]], we get this little bit of comic relief during Buddy's goodbye message (written on an Etch-E-Sketch, of course).

** Creator/WillFerrell at his Will Ferrel-iest while confronting the mall Santa:

* Buddy's synopsis of his journey to New York: "I traveled through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest, past the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.]]"

* Buddy doing a BigNo when he finds out that Walter is on the 'naughty' list, followed by the ''Film/EvilDead''-style extreme close-up of Santa's list showing Walter's name.

'''Water:''' (''as if stating a proven fact'') "Woah. That was weird."

-->'''Dirk Lawson:''' [[ImplausibleDeniability Must be a different Dirk Lawson.]]

* Michael reading Santa’s list and announcing that a man named [[AwesomeMcCoolname Dirk Lawson]] wants [[RealMenWearPink a spa day.]] Cut to a biker bar where a bunch of beefy, tough-looking men all turn to face on of their peers, [[UnmanlySecret who just looks sheepishly back at them.]]

* Michael reading Santa’s list and announcing that a man named Dirk Lawson wants a spa day. Cut to a biker bar where a bunch of beefy, tough-looking men all turn to face on of their peers, who just looks sheepishly back at them.
-->'''Dirk Lawson:''' Must be a different Dirk Lawson.

-->'''Walter:''' Who gave you this photo?\\
'''Buddy:''' ([[SincerityMode without a hint of irony in his voice]]) Papa Elf.\\

* Buddy piling mint candy, jellybeans and broken up pieces of chocolate Pop-Tarts into his spaghetti before devouring it. Even funnier knowing that actor Will Ferrall threw up after filming that particular scene.

---> "You sit on a throne of lies."
---> "You stink."
---> "You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa."

-->'''Arctic Puffin:''' Hey Buddy, want to pick some snow berries?
-->'''Buddy:''' Not now, Arctic Puffin!

-->'''Mr. Narwal:''' Bye Buddy. Hope you find your dad.
-->'''Buddy:''' Thanks Mr. Narwal.

--> '''Miles:''' Call me an elf one more time! Call me an elf!
--> '''Buddy:''' [[DiggingYourselfDeeper You're an elf.]]

--->'''Buddy''': "Oh, wait! I forgot to give you a hug!"\\

-->'''Buddy:''' I'm SINGING! I'm in a store and I'm SINGING! I'm in a store AND I'M SINGING!
-->'''Gimbels Manager:''' Hey! There's no singing in the North Pole.
-->'''Buddy:''' Yes, there is.
-->'''Gimbels Manager:''' No, there's not.
-->'''Buddy:''' We sing all the time. Especially when we make toys.

--->'''Santa''': "Back off, slick! You're scaring the deer!"\\

--> "YOU DID IT! CONGRATULATIONS! World's best cup of coffee! ({{beat}}) It's great to meet all of you!"

--->'''Jovie:''' (sipping it while blindfolded) It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee.
--->(Buddy chuckles knowingly as she takes off the blindfold)
--->'''Jovie:''' It ''is'' a crappy cup of coffee.
--->'''Buddy:''' No it's not. It's the world's ''best'' cup of coffee!

--> "I'm sorry that I ruined your life [[MoodWhiplash and]] [[NoodleIncident crammed eleven cookies into the VCR]]."

--> "U-uh... I-I'm here... w-with my da-a-ad. And he wants me to sing him a song. (''chuckles nervously'') And, um... I... was adopted, and you didn't know I was born. But I'm here now, da-dee! And, guess what? I love you! I love you! I ''love you-ou''!"\\

-->'''Buddy''': "Please pass the maple syrup."
-->'''Emily''': "I didn't put... it's spaghetti."
-->'''Buddy''': (''to himself'') "Oh, y'know, I always carry some..."
--> ''(pulls a little bottle of syrup out of his sleeve and empties it onto his spaghetti)''
-->'''Emily''': "You... like sugar, huh?"
-->'''Buddy''': "Is there sugar in syrup?"
-->'''Emily''': "Y-yes..."
-->'''Buddy''': (''gleefully'') "Then, ''yes''! We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy ''corns'' and syrup!"

-->'''Buddy''': "I'm an elf. Well, technically I'm a human, but I was ''raised'' by elves."
-->'''Carolyn''': "Oh. I'm a human. Raised by humans."

-->'''Buddy''': "Well, paint eggs? That's Eas-!"\\

* Just the way the film goes over the top and portrays the Central Park Rangers like they're the HorsemenOfTheApocalypse or the [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Nazgul]]

* Papa Elf explains that before ChristmasElves, Santa used gnomes and trolls as his minions, but the gnomes [[TheAlcoholic drank too much]] and the trolls weren't toilet trained. We then see a drunken, burping gnome and a troll in a diaper farting.

* The end where Buddy's stepdad realizes he has not one but two normal-sized people to look after.

* Walter tells Buddy to loose his tights "as soon as possible." Cue Buddy dropping his trousers right there in the kitchen... just as Emily walks in! Cue Emily screaming, followed by Buddy screaming.

* Buddy's list of activities to do with his father include ice skating, eating sugar plums and cookie dough, and snuggling. Walter is so confident that Buddy isn't his son that he promises to do them all, adding that "we'll even paint eggs."

* Walter tells Buddy to loose his tights "as soon as possible." Cue Buddy dropping his trousers right there in the kitchen... just as Emily walks in!

* Papa Elf explains that before ChristmasElves, Santa used gnomes and trolls as his minions, but the gnomes [[TheAlcoholic drank too much]] and the trolls weren't toilet trained. We then see a drunken, burping gnome and a troll in a diaper.

** Buddy dancing on the table, distracting the other workers from work.