History Funny / EddieIzzard

* Related to the above "Cake or Death" skit: "The Spanish Inquisition wouldn't have worked with the Church of England." ''"Talk, will you, talk!"'' "But it hurts!" [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure "Oh, well loosen it up a bit..."]]

* Basically all of his "horror movies" bit. Watch it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4yrL6rc6bU here.]]

* His imitation of the British fighting UsefulNotes/WorldWarII before the Americans came along. Like so:

* His bit on Wiki/{{Wikipedia}}, from his ''Stripped'' tour. "Run by Mr. and Mrs. Wikipedia... who live in a toilet somewhere, I think, they have no money..."
* The bit on "Definite Article", recorded live at the Shaftesbury Theater, where he goes off on a tangent about the TV show "Series/{{Renegade}}" -- more specifically, when he interacted with an audience member while struggling to remember the name of the show, and said audience member yelled out "Izzog Man" as the probable name of the show.

* At British Comedy Awards 2013, he came to the stage to read the nominations for Best TV Comedy Actor. Before reading the nominations, he starts talking about how the winner is the funniest person in the world and literally a god, and then says that he doesn't know who the winner is and that he hopes that the winner is actually good because otherwise, Eddie will look stupid.

** For context, the pilot of the tiny plane Eddie was riding in snagged all the good complimentary cookies for himself, leaving the passengers with crappy digestive biscuits, and threatened to crash the plane if anyone complained.
* His bit on the Latin language, but especially this: "Quod. The. ''Fuck.''"

** Later he revisits the same mime routine to repeatedly, wordlessly confirm and deny the rumor that Engelbert Humperdinck has died.

* ''Dress To Kill'' has a couple of brilliant bits of mime. For example, on how to fake your way through the American national anthem when you don't know the lyrics: it's all about looking confident and gesturing wildly.

** Later he revisits the same mime routine to repeatedly, wordlessly confirm and deny the rumor that Engelbert Humperdinck has died.

*** ...Oh, alright. [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure You're lucky I'm Church of England]]..."

* Long story short, [[ItMakesAsMuchSenseInContext a riff on mice turns into a tribute to]] TheItalianJob.

** Uh, cake please.

** Uh, cake for me too please!

* At British Comedy Awards 2013, he came to the stage to read the nominations for Best TV Comedy Actor. Before reading the nominations, he starts talking about how the winner is the funniest person in the world and literally a god, and than says that he doesn't know who the winner is, and that he hopes that the winner is actually good, because otherwise Eddie will look stupid.

* "We stole countries; that's what you do, that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. ''"I claim India for Britain!"'' And they're going ''"You can't claim us, we LIVE here! Five hundred million of us!" "[[InsaneTrollLogic Do you have a FLAG?]]"''

* The [[StarWars Death Star]] ccanteen skit.

** Day Five: rang bell with new batteries, but cat put paw on bell so it made an odd 'thunk' noise. Then cat rang his own bell! I ate food...

*** ...oh, alright. [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure You're lucky I'm Church of England]]..."

* Related to the above "Cake of Death" skit: "The Spanish Inquisition wouldn't have worked with the Church of England." ''"Talk, will you, talk!"'' "But it hurts!" [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure "Oh, well loosen it up a bit..."]]
* The [[StarWars Death Star]] cantine skit.

** "You're mister Stevens!"

-->'''Male Gangster's Wife:''' ''...alright, yes, I fucked your wife! I AM your wife and I FUCKED your wife!''

** Day One: Rang bell, cat fucked off. Oh dear.
** Day Two: Rang bell, cat answered door.
** Day Three: Rang bell, cat said he'd eaten earlier. Cheeky bugger.
** Day Four: Attempted to ring bell, but cat had stolen batteries.
** Day Five: Rang bell with new batteries, but cat put paw on bell so it made an odd 'thunk' noise. Then cat rang his own bell! I ate food...

** "And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for ''[[SuddenlyShouting FUCK-ALL!]]''

"No, go back one."

-->'''Apostle 1:''' Jesus, why are you doing the big arms thing?\\

-->Then his manager said, "Let's change your name, that's the problem." Gerry Dorsey became Engelbert Humperdinck. I wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through.\\

'''Jesus:''' Look we can't ''all'' do big arms! We'd look like a squadron of Spitfires... Look, ''I'll'' do big arms, and the rest of you just look at me and go "ooh, he's doing big arms," alright?

* The bit on ''{{Risk}}'', as Hitler would have known not to invade Russia if he'd ever played it. "Get all the purples, get everyone on Papua New Guinea, and then just build up, build up, build up."

*** HAHA! You said death first! Haha, death first!

*** ...oh, alright. [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure You're lucky I'm [Church of] England]]..."

*** [[ImAHumanitarian Taste of humans!]]

* "We stole countries; that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. ''"I claim India for Britain!"'' And they're going ''"You can't claim us, we LIVE here! Five hundred million of us!" "[[InsaneTrollLogic Do you have a FLAG?]]"''

* Related to the above "Cake of Death" skit: "Well, you can't have the-The Spanish Inquisition wouldn't have worked with the Church of England." ''"Talk or DIE!"'' "But it huuuurts!" [[ReasonableAuthorityFigure "Well, loosen it up!"]]

-->'''Apostle:''' Jesus, why are you doing the big arms thing?\\

'''Apostle:''' Well I'm gonna do a big arms thing as well.\\
'''Other Apostle:''' Yes me too, I quite like the big arms.\\

* His imitation of the British fighting WorldWarII before the Americans came along. Like so:

* His bit on {{Wikipedia}}, from his ''Stripped'' tour. "Run by Mr. and Mrs. Wikipedia... who live in a toilet somewhere, I think, they have no money..."

*** We're gonna run out of cake at this rate!

--> '''Eddie:''' So Baby (Jesus) was there, and then he grew up, grew older, and died. Uh... shortest version of ''that'' story, isn't it?

** For context, the pilot of the tiny plane Eddie was riding in snagged all the good complimentary cookies for himself, leaving the passengers with crappy digestive biscuits, and threatened to crash the plane if anyone complained.

* "'Ere! Jammy Dodgers!?" [SFX] MEERRRRR... POFF! "And we hit a mountain. And I died."

* At British Comedy Awards 2013, he came to the stage to read the nominations for Best TV Comedy Actor. Before reading the nominations, he starts talking about how the winner is the funniest person in the world and literally a god, and than says that he doesn't know who the winner is, and that he hopes that the winner is actually good, because otherwise Eddie will look stupid.