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** The episode revolves around Dilbert trying to avoid the Curse of The Chicken Man, a bizarre transformation that befalls engineers stuck in charge of dead-end projects where they slowly begin acting like a giant chicken out of frustration, such as ranting that sounds like clucking, waving their arms around like wings, etc. This apparently befell a former employee named Jack Cooper who also got stuck with an unnamed project.
---> '''Dilbert''': What happened to him?
---> '''Wally''': I think he's with the circus.
** After one aimless meeting, Dilbert finally puts his foot down and picks the name "Acorn" for the product, but actually securing it turns out to be a challenge of it's own, as the name is trademarked by a small laundromat that refuses to sell it (and owned by a couple that enjoys acting like a FrenchJerk because being rude sounds better in French). After finally buying it (thanks to Dogbert causing a DisasterDominoes effect that burns down the laundromat) and putting together an elaborate pitch, including a guy in an acorn costume, the executive they're pitching it to goes off on a tangent right before the pitch starts, and reveals that his ''humiliating childhood nickname was Acorn'', much to the horror of everyone at the meeting. They quickly have to destroy all the props and pitch material they brought with them.
** Oh, and the laundromat owners? They were the guy's ''parents!''
---> '''Dilbert''': What happened to him?
---> '''Wally''': I think he's with the circus.
** After one aimless meeting, Dilbert finally puts his foot down and picks the name "Acorn" for the product, but actually securing it turns out to be a challenge of it's own, as the name is trademarked by a small laundromat that refuses to sell it (and owned by a couple that enjoys acting like a FrenchJerk because being rude sounds better in French). After finally buying it (thanks to Dogbert causing a DisasterDominoes effect that burns down the laundromat) and putting together an elaborate pitch, including a guy in an acorn costume, the executive they're pitching it to goes off on a tangent right before the pitch starts, and reveals that his ''humiliating childhood nickname was Acorn'', much to the horror of everyone at the meeting. They quickly have to destroy all the props and pitch material they brought with them.
** Oh, and the laundromat owners? They were the guy's ''parents!''
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--->'''Dogbert:''' On the plus side, you look very clean.
Changed line(s) 72 (click to see context) from:
--->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse!\\
to:
--->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse!\\horse.\\
Changed line(s) 76 (click to see context) from:
'''PHB:''' Maybe it kicked ya!\\
to:
'''PHB:''' Maybe it kicked it'll kick ya!\\
Changed line(s) 80 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Dilbert:''' How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! "What's a mouse pad?"?!\\
to:
--->'''Dilbert:''' How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did Do you think the guy who invented the mouse pad start mousepad started with the title?! "What's name?! ''What's a mouse pad?"?!\\mousepad?''?!\\
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* Speaking of Catbert, there's the entire story arc initially introducing Catbert to the strip. Special mention should be given to how, after [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext an optimistic Ratbert randomly has Catbert leap on his head]] [[https://web.archive.org/web/20171117092625/http://dilbert.com/strip/1994-09-12 while he's on a midday walk]] (which Ratbert cheerily mistakes as "[[FailedASpotCheck a hat blowing onto my head]]!"), Dogbert and Bob the Dinosaur try to save Ratbert... with "mixed" [[https://web.archive.org/web/20171117092525/http://dilbert.com/strip/1994-09-13 results]].
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''[to Bob]'' Bob, I'll yank the cat off of Ratbert's head [[AmbiguousSyntax and you stomp on it]]!\\
''[Dogbert quickly yanks Catbert off of Ratbert's head... and Bob then stomps on Ratbert]''\\
'''Dogbert:''' ''[while holding onto Catbert, looking sheepish]'' ...[[DidNotThinkThisThrough I could have phrased that better]].\\
'''Ratbert:''' ''[weakly, from off-panel]'' [[CaptainObvious I'm not an optimist anymore]].
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''[to Bob]'' Bob, I'll yank the cat off of Ratbert's head [[AmbiguousSyntax and you stomp on it]]!\\
''[Dogbert quickly yanks Catbert off of Ratbert's head... and Bob then stomps on Ratbert]''\\
'''Dogbert:''' ''[while holding onto Catbert, looking sheepish]'' ...[[DidNotThinkThisThrough I could have phrased that better]].\\
'''Ratbert:''' ''[weakly, from off-panel]'' [[CaptainObvious I'm not an optimist anymore]].
Changed line(s) 62,63 (click to see context) from:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://web.archive.org/web/20230307232640/https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRxJZ24XwAExiFW?format=jpg&name=medium viewed monochrome in a newspaper]] there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as a completely different joke. The result is much funnier.
to:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: Scott Adams: [[https://web.archive.org/web/20230307232640/https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRxJZ24XwAExiFW?format=jpg&name=medium viewed monochrome in a newspaper]] there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as a completely different joke. The result is much funnier.
Changed line(s) 65,70 (click to see context) from:
* Dogbert tricking Dilbert into changing the temperature of his voice activated shower. First changing it to 14 (the age Dilbert rode a full bicycle) degrees, and then to ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]'' degrees. When Dilbert gets out of the shower, he's beet red, and his towel catches fire.
* The ''very first'' exchange with the PHB.
-->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''PHB:''' Why would anyone ''beat'' a dead horse?\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyone kill a dead horse?\\
* The ''very first'' exchange with the PHB.
-->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''PHB:''' Why would anyone ''beat'' a dead horse?\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyone kill a dead horse?\\
to:
* In the series pilot, there's Dogbert tricking Dilbert into changing the temperature of his voice activated shower. First changing it to 14 (the age Dilbert rode a full bicycle) degrees, and then to ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]'' degrees. When Dilbert gets out of the shower, he's beet red, and his towel catches fire.
* The ** Speaking of the pilot, there's the ''very first'' [[EstablishingCharacterMoment exchange with the PHB.
-->'''PHB:'''PHB]].
--->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse!\\
'''Dilbert:''' ...You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''PHB:''' ''[rolls his eyes]'' ...Why would anyone ''beat'' a dead horse?\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyonekill ''kill'' a dead horse?\\
-->'''PHB:'''
--->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse!\\
'''Dilbert:''' ...You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyone
Changed line(s) 72,76 (click to see context) from:
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's dead!''\\
'''PHB:''' And so is every customer who used our flagship product.
* In "Little People", Dilbert, Wally, and Alice get to a vendor meeting before everyone else, only to find that all of the food had already been eaten. When the other employees arrive and begin accusing them, Alice tells one of the accusers to look at something on a nearby table; when he does, she slams his face into it.
-->'''Dilbert''': You beat a man senseless!
-->'''Alice''': He was senseless before I beat him.
'''PHB:''' And so is every customer who used our flagship product.
* In "Little People", Dilbert, Wally, and Alice get to a vendor meeting before everyone else, only to find that all of the food had already been eaten. When the other employees arrive and begin accusing them, Alice tells one of the accusers to look at something on a nearby table; when he does, she slams his face into it.
-->'''Dilbert''': You beat a man senseless!
-->'''Alice''': He was senseless before I beat him.
to:
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's ''[aghast] It's dead!''\\
'''PHB:''' [[ChangeTheUncomfortableSubject And so is every customer who used our flagshipproduct.
product]]!
** When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
--->'''Dilbert:''' How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! "What's a mouse pad?"?!\\
'''Wally''' ''[whispering to Alice]'' Heh, [[DoubleEntendre feminine protection for mice]]!\\
''[Alice promptly smacks Wally in the face with a book]''
* In "Little People", Dilbert, Wally, and Alice get to a vendor meeting before everyone else, only to find that all of the food had already been eaten. When the other employees arrive and begin accusing them, Alice tells one of the accusers to look at something on a nearby table; when he does, she slams his face intoit.
-->'''Dilbert''':it. Later on, Alice threatens to get [=HR=] involved when Wally starts annoying her by excitedly reading a porn mag the Little People left behind.
-->'''Dilbert:''' ...You beat a mansenseless!
-->'''Alice''': He''senseless.''\\
'''Alice:''' ''[dismissively]'' Eh, he was senseless before I beat him.
'''PHB:''' [[ChangeTheUncomfortableSubject And so is every customer who used our flagship
** When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
--->'''Dilbert:''' How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! "What's a mouse pad?"?!\\
'''Wally''' ''[whispering to Alice]'' Heh, [[DoubleEntendre feminine protection for mice]]!\\
''[Alice promptly smacks Wally in the face with a book]''
* In "Little People", Dilbert, Wally, and Alice get to a vendor meeting before everyone else, only to find that all of the food had already been eaten. When the other employees arrive and begin accusing them, Alice tells one of the accusers to look at something on a nearby table; when he does, she slams his face into
-->'''Dilbert''':
-->'''Dilbert:''' ...You beat a man
-->'''Alice''': He
'''Alice:''' ''[dismissively]'' Eh, he was senseless before I beat him.
Changed line(s) 78,88 (click to see context) from:
* Wally's bit of InsaneTrollLogic here
-->'''Dilbert''': How about we use the money to give raises to those who worked hard to make this bonus possible?
-->'''Wally''': That would discriminate against those of us who ''didn't'' work as hard.
-->'''Alice''': If we started rewarding lazy people like you, the whole system would fail.
-->'''Wally''': {arms crossed} Oh, that's the same argument they used to deny women the right to vote.
-->'''Alice''': {annoyed} Are you comparing your laziness to the Woman's Suffrage Movement?
-->'''Wally''': There are many similarities.
-->'''Alice''': Name one!
-->'''Wally''': Women weren't allowed to vote, and I'm too lazy to vote. In both cases, there's taxation without representation.
-->'''Alice''': That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
-->'''Wally''': {curt} Bigot.
-->'''Dilbert''': How about we use the money to give raises to those who worked hard to make this bonus possible?
-->'''Wally''': That would discriminate against those of us who ''didn't'' work as hard.
-->'''Alice''': If we started rewarding lazy people like you, the whole system would fail.
-->'''Wally''': {arms crossed} Oh, that's the same argument they used to deny women the right to vote.
-->'''Alice''': {annoyed} Are you comparing your laziness to the Woman's Suffrage Movement?
-->'''Wally''': There are many similarities.
-->'''Alice''': Name one!
-->'''Wally''': Women weren't allowed to vote, and I'm too lazy to vote. In both cases, there's taxation without representation.
-->'''Alice''': That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
-->'''Wally''': {curt} Bigot.
to:
* Wally's bit of InsaneTrollLogic here
-->'''Dilbert''':here:
-->'''Dilbert:''' How about we use the money to give raises to those who worked hard to make this bonuspossible?
-->'''Wally''':possible?\\
'''Wally:''' That would discriminate against those of us who ''didn't'' work ashard.
-->'''Alice''':hard.\\
'''Alice:''' If we started rewarding lazy people like you, the whole system wouldfail.
-->'''Wally''': {arms crossed}fail.\\
'''Wally:''' ''[crosses his arms]'' Oh, that's the same argument they used to deny women the right tovote.
-->'''Alice''': {annoyed}vote!\\
'''Alice:''' ''[annoyed]'' Are you comparing your laziness to the Woman's SuffrageMovement?
-->'''Wally''':Movement?\\
'''Wally:''' There are manysimilarities.
-->'''Alice''':similarities.\\
'''Alice:''' ''[aghast]'' Nameone!
-->'''Wally''':''one!''\\
'''Wally:''' Women weren't allowed to vote, and I'm too lazy to vote. In both cases, there's taxation withoutrepresentation.
-->'''Alice''':representation.\\
'''Alice:''' That is the stupidest thing I've everheard.
-->'''Wally''': {curt}heard.\\
'''Wally:''' ''[curt]'' Bigot.
-->'''Dilbert''':
-->'''Dilbert:''' How about we use the money to give raises to those who worked hard to make this bonus
-->'''Wally''':
'''Wally:''' That would discriminate against those of us who ''didn't'' work as
-->'''Alice''':
'''Alice:''' If we started rewarding lazy people like you, the whole system would
-->'''Wally''': {arms crossed}
'''Wally:''' ''[crosses his arms]'' Oh, that's the same argument they used to deny women the right to
-->'''Alice''': {annoyed}
'''Alice:''' ''[annoyed]'' Are you comparing your laziness to the Woman's Suffrage
-->'''Wally''':
'''Wally:''' There are many
-->'''Alice''':
'''Alice:''' ''[aghast]'' Name
-->'''Wally''':
'''Wally:''' Women weren't allowed to vote, and I'm too lazy to vote. In both cases, there's taxation without
-->'''Alice''':
'''Alice:''' That is the stupidest thing I've ever
-->'''Wally''': {curt}
'''Wally:''' ''[curt]'' Bigot.
Changed line(s) 93,94 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Comp-U-Comp''': I hurt my leg! OW OW!!
--> '''Dilbert''': ''You don't have a leg!'' Tie score!
--> '''Dilbert''': ''You don't have a leg!'' Tie score!
to:
--> '''Dilbert''':
'''Dilbert:''' ''You don't have a leg!'' Tie score!
Changed line(s) 96 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Reporter''': A new CEO was named, Bob Johnson! *a photo of the PHB is shown on the screen* Also known as "Jim Smith", also known as "Eunice". In an unexpected move, he vowed to [[BrutalHonesty "loot the assets of the company"]], and, I quote, "skedaddle!"
to:
Changed line(s) 100 (click to see context) from:
** His ''first appearance'' guaranteed him EnsembleDarkhorse status: "I HEARD A RUMOR!" Everyone shushes him and he apologizes, then continues even louder, "'''I HEARD A RUMOR!!'''"
to:
** [[invoked]] His ''first appearance'' immediately guaranteed him EnsembleDarkhorse status: "I HEARD A RUMOR!" Everyone shushes him and he apologizes, then continues even louder, "'''I HEARD A RUMOR!!'''"
Changed line(s) 103,109 (click to see context) from:
** "I'm afraid of tiny people! They can run in your mouth! (Confused looks from everyone at the table) Am I the only one worried about that?!"
** "I'd like to be treated like a human being just once!" (Wally gives Loud Howard a dog biscuit, which he promptly eats).
** When Dilbert hires Dogbert as a consultant for a project that they're working on...
-->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER SEEN!
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation... downsize the loud guy.
-->'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE IT BACK!
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one else wanna piece of me?!
** "I'd like to be treated like a human being just once!" (Wally gives Loud Howard a dog biscuit, which he promptly eats).
** When Dilbert hires Dogbert as a consultant for a project that they're working on...
-->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER SEEN!
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation... downsize the loud guy.
-->'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE IT BACK!
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one else wanna piece of me?!
to:
** "I'm afraid of tiny people! They can run in your mouth! mouth!" (Confused looks from everyone at the table) Am "Am I the only one worried about that?!"
** "I'd like to be treated like a human being just once!" (Wally gives Loud Howard a dog biscuit, which he promptlyeats).
eats)
** When Dilbert hires Dogbert as a consultant for a project that they're workingon...
-->'''Loudon in the first episode:
--->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVERSEEN!
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation...SEEN!\\
'''Dogbert:''' ''[starts writing on a clipboard]'' "Recommendation... downsize the loudguy.
-->'''Loudguy."\\
'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE ITBACK!
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one elseBACK!\\
'''Dogbert:''' ''[leans forward threateningly]'' Anyone ''else'' wanna piece of me?!
** "I'd like to be treated like a human being just once!" (Wally gives Loud Howard a dog biscuit, which he promptly
** When Dilbert hires Dogbert as a consultant for a project that they're working
-->'''Loud
--->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation...
'''Dogbert:''' ''[starts writing on a clipboard]'' "Recommendation... downsize the loud
-->'''Loud
'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE IT
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one else
'''Dogbert:''' ''[leans forward threateningly]'' Anyone ''else'' wanna piece of me?!
** In the SickEpisode, a miserable Loud Howard reveals that he's lost his voice... and gets a ''standing ovation'' due to this.
Changed line(s) 114,120 (click to see context) from:
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into multiple sclerosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.
*** From the same episode, it turns out Wally is literally covered in insect fecal matter. Apparently flies just like him. By the end of the episode he has danger signs all over him.
*** Loud Howard loses his voice. Cue to the enormous celebration.
* When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
-->'''Dilbert''': How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! What's a mouse pad!
-->'''Wally''' (whispering to Alice): Feminine protection for mice!
--> (Alice smacks him in the face with a book)
*** From the same episode, it turns out Wally is literally covered in insect fecal matter. Apparently flies just like him. By the end of the episode he has danger signs all over him.
*** Loud Howard loses his voice. Cue to the enormous celebration.
* When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
-->'''Dilbert''': How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! What's a mouse pad!
-->'''Wally''' (whispering to Alice): Feminine protection for mice!
--> (Alice smacks him in the face with a book)
to:
** Hell, ALL ''all'' of the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into multiple sclerosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.
*** From the same episode, it turns out Wally is literally covered in insect fecal matter. Apparently flies just like him. By the end of theepisode episode, he has danger signs all over him.
*** Loud Howard loses his voice. Cue to the enormous celebration.
* When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
-->'''Dilbert''': How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! What's a mouse pad!
-->'''Wally''' (whispering to Alice): Feminine protection for mice!
--> (Alice smacks him in the face with a book)him.
*** From the same episode, it turns out Wally is literally covered in insect fecal matter. Apparently flies just like him. By the end of the
*** Loud Howard loses his voice. Cue to the enormous celebration.
* When discussing why the name shouldn't be the first step to make a product:
-->'''Dilbert''': How do you know what to make if you only have a title? Did the guy who invented the mouse pad start with the title?! What's a mouse pad!
-->'''Wally''' (whispering to Alice): Feminine protection for mice!
--> (Alice smacks him in the face with a book)
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changing to web archive
Changed line(s) 2,16 (click to see context) from:
* The PHB's epic moment of revenge for his secretary's plotting: [[http://dilbert.com/2004-03-14 here]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/2006-08-06 Chalk up another]] for the PHB.
** [[http://dilbert.com/2003-09-28 Honesty]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/2008-08-10 Another]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/2009-06-21 Fifth]].
* [[http://dilbert.com/2009-07-31 Catbert]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1999-02-07/ "Two wrongs made a right."]]
* Future Wally: [[http://dilbert.com/2006-05-07 here]].
** Present Wally: [[http://dilbert.com/2006-04-30 here]]
** [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2017-03-01 Wally comparing himself to Gandhi]].
* Alice also gets [[http://dilbert.com/2009-10-26 a few]]
* And of course, [[http://dilbert.com/2009-11-22 Dilbert]]
** [[http://dilbert.com/2010-03-07 Another]]
* [[http://dilbert.com/2000-09-11 Carol]]
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn for lunch!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
** [[http://dilbert.com/2006-08-06 Chalk up another]] for the PHB.
** [[http://dilbert.com/2003-09-28 Honesty]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/2008-08-10 Another]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/2009-06-21 Fifth]].
* [[http://dilbert.com/2009-07-31 Catbert]].
** [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1999-02-07/ "Two wrongs made a right."]]
* Future Wally: [[http://dilbert.com/2006-05-07 here]].
** Present Wally: [[http://dilbert.com/2006-04-30 here]]
** [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2017-03-01 Wally comparing himself to Gandhi]].
* Alice also gets [[http://dilbert.com/2009-10-26 a few]]
* And of course, [[http://dilbert.com/2009-11-22 Dilbert]]
** [[http://dilbert.com/2010-03-07 Another]]
* [[http://dilbert.com/2000-09-11 Carol]]
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn for lunch!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
to:
* The PHB's epic moment of revenge for his secretary's plotting: [[http://dilbert.com/2004-03-14 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070655/http://dilbert.com/strip/2004-03-14 here]].
**[[http://dilbert.com/2006-08-06 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803062743/http://dilbert.com/strip/2006-08-06 Chalk up another]] for the PHB.
**[[http://dilbert.com/2003-09-28 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070400/http://dilbert.com/strip/2003-09-28 Honesty]].
**[[http://dilbert.com/2008-08-10 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803073825/http://dilbert.com/strip/2008-08-10 Another]].
**[[http://dilbert.com/2009-06-21 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803071013/http://dilbert.com/strip/2009-06-21 Fifth]].
*[[http://dilbert.com/2009-07-31 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126223853/http://dilbert.com/strip/2009-07-31 Catbert]].
**[[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1999-02-07/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20171030041535/http://dilbert.com/strip/1999-02-07 "Two wrongs made a right."]]
* Future Wally:[[http://dilbert.com/2006-05-07 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126224152/http://dilbert.com/strip/2006-05-07 here]].
** Present Wally:[[http://dilbert.com/2006-04-30 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126223812/http://dilbert.com/strip/2006-04-30 here]]
**[[https://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20210506160234/https://dilbert.com/strip/2017-03-01 Wally comparing himself to Gandhi]].
* Alice also gets[[http://dilbert.com/2009-10-26 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126224201/http://dilbert.com/strip/2009-10-26 a few]]
* And of course,[[http://dilbert.com/2009-11-22 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126223858/http://dilbert.com/strip/2009-11-22 Dilbert]]
**[[http://dilbert.com/2010-03-07 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20180126223903/http://dilbert.com/strip/2010-03-07 Another]]
*[[http://dilbert.com/2000-09-11 [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803073741/http://dilbert.com/strip/2000-09-11 Carol]]
* In[[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803073223/http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-06-29 one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn for lunch!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
**
**
**
**
*
**
* Future Wally:
** Present Wally:
**
* Alice also gets
* And of course,
**
*
* In
Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-10-19/ "IDEA SQUIRREL!"]]
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1989-07-30/ Using a microscope]], Dilbert discovers a tiny, subatomic civilization, and is quite excited.
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1989-07-30/ Using a microscope]], Dilbert discovers a tiny, subatomic civilization, and is quite excited.
to:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2008-10-19/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070557/http://dilbert.com/strip/2008-10-19 "IDEA SQUIRREL!"]]
*[[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1989-07-30/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070439/http://dilbert.com/strip/1989-07-30 Using a microscope]], Dilbert discovers a tiny, subatomic civilization, and is quite excited.
*
Changed line(s) 35,37 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://www.dilbert.com/fast/1995-10-10/ The boss tries to pitch in.]]
* [[http://www.dilbert.com/fast/1998-10-25/ The boss tries to improve communications.]]
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1994-08-01 Dogbert suggests a new name for the company.]]
* [[http://www.dilbert.com/fast/1998-10-25/ The boss tries to improve communications.]]
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1994-08-01 Dogbert suggests a new name for the company.]]
to:
* [[http://www.dilbert.com/fast/1995-10-10/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070603/http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-10-10 The boss tries to pitch in.]]
*[[http://www.dilbert.com/fast/1998-10-25/ [[https://web.archive.org/web/20170803070737/http://dilbert.com/strip/1998-10-25 The boss tries to improve communications.]]
*[[http://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230302165734/https://dilbert.com/strip/1994-08-01 Dogbert suggests a new name for the company.]]
*
*
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/2006-10-11 "THEY LOVE ME!"]]
to:
* [[http://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230305112422/https://dilbert.com/strip/2006-10-11 "THEY LOVE ME!"]]
Changed line(s) 48 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/2007-08-02 Wally is wearing noise cancellation headphones.]]
to:
* [[http://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20210517143911/http://dilbert.com/strip/2007-08-02 Wally is wearing noise cancellation headphones.]]
Changed line(s) 55,59 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1997-03-08 This strip of Ratbert as an overpowered consultant]], which Scott Adams pointed as an example of a strip with so many humorous elements that virtually everyone can find something to laugh about in it in ''The Joy of Work''.
* Dilbert: "[[http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-11-28 I wonder what would happen if you let [the Senators] talk as long as they wanted.]] I bet they'd starve to death... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint but there's probably a downside.]]"
* "[[http://dilbert.com/strip/1990-11-09 I cannot allow this withdrawal.]]"
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-02-01 Dogbert bluffs his way through a square dance call.]]
* [[https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-12-10 Dogbert tells a hapless customer how to make a pie chart:]]
* Dilbert: "[[http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-11-28 I wonder what would happen if you let [the Senators] talk as long as they wanted.]] I bet they'd starve to death... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint but there's probably a downside.]]"
* "[[http://dilbert.com/strip/1990-11-09 I cannot allow this withdrawal.]]"
* [[http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-02-01 Dogbert bluffs his way through a square dance call.]]
* [[https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-12-10 Dogbert tells a hapless customer how to make a pie chart:]]
to:
* [[http://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230307153651/https://dilbert.com/strip/1997-03-08 This strip of Ratbert as an overpowered consultant]], which Scott Adams pointed as an example of a strip with so many humorous elements that virtually everyone can find something to laugh about in it in ''The Joy of Work''.
* Dilbert:"[[http://dilbert."[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230302000123/https://dilbert.com/strip/1991-11-28 I wonder what would happen if you let [the Senators] talk as long as they wanted.]] I bet they'd starve to death... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint but there's probably a downside.]]"
*"[[http://dilbert."[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230307230519/https://dilbert.com/strip/1990-11-09 I cannot allow this withdrawal.]]"
*[[http://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230301081903/https://dilbert.com/strip/1992-02-01 Dogbert bluffs his way through a square dance call.]]
*[[https://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230303170843/https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-12-10 Dogbert tells a hapless customer how to make a pie chart:]]
* Dilbert:
*
*
*
Changed line(s) 62,63 (click to see context) from:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRxJZ24XwAExiFW?format=jpg&name=medium viewed monochrome in a newspaper]] there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as a completely different joke. The result is much funnier.
to:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20230307232640/https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRxJZ24XwAExiFW?format=jpg&name=medium viewed monochrome in a newspaper]] there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as a completely different joke. The result is much funnier.
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Changed line(s) 65 (click to see context) from:
* Dogbert tricking Dilbert into changing the temperature of his voice activated shower. First changing it to 14 (the age Dilbert rode a full bicycle) degrees, and then to ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' degrees. When Dilbert gets out of the shower, he's beet red, and his towel catches fire.
to:
* Dogbert tricking Dilbert into changing the temperature of his voice activated shower. First changing it to 14 (the age Dilbert rode a full bicycle) degrees, and then to ''Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey'' ''[[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey 2001]]'' degrees. When Dilbert gets out of the shower, he's beet red, and his towel catches fire.
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Deleted line(s) 2 (click to see context) :
* ''Everyone'' gets a CMOF [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2013-06-02/ here]], the seventh panel most emphatically of all.
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Changed line(s) 135 (click to see context) from:
** The other charitable causes, which include organizations such as "Farmers Who Are Afraid of Cows", "Women Who Cut their Hair too Short and Don't Realize How Bad it Looks" and "Mountain Goats With Three Legs". That last one is just hiding it's fourth leg behind it's back though.
to:
** The other charitable causes, which include organizations such as "Farmers Who Are Afraid of Cows", "Women Who Cut their Hair too Short and Don't Realize How Bad it Looks" and "Mountain Goats With Three Legs". That last one is just hiding it's its fourth leg behind it's its back though.
Changed line(s) 151 (click to see context) from:
** Being Dilbert, turns out he's actually created a sentient artificial lifeform by accident, and it's still in it's infant stage, meaning it cries at night looking for attention like a human baby. The next morning, he tries explaining the problem to the Boss.
to:
** Being Dilbert, turns out he's actually created a sentient artificial lifeform by accident, and it's still in it's its infant stage, meaning it cries at night looking for attention like a human baby. The next morning, he tries explaining the problem to the Boss.
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** When Dilbert first brings the Dupey home, Ratbert has a breakdown because he's not the cutest person in the family anymore.
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Changed line(s) 63,64 (click to see context) from:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but as viewed monochrome in a newspaper there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as mocking the joke it's supposed to be doing straight. The result is much funnier.
to:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but as [[https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FRxJZ24XwAExiFW?format=jpg&name=medium viewed monochrome in a newspaper newspaper]] there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and it comes off as mocking the joke it's supposed to be doing straight.a completely different joke. The result is much funnier.
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Changed line(s) 63,64 (click to see context) from:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but as viewed monochrome in a newspaper there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and its much funnier.
to:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but as viewed monochrome in a newspaper there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and its it comes off as mocking the joke it's supposed to be doing straight. The result is much funnier.
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None
Changed line(s) 63 (click to see context) from:
to:
* An unintentional example where the joke is on Scott: [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2022-05-02 a strip]] where the joke is supposed to be that the black diversity hire identifies himself as white is an old worn-out bit when viewed online, but as viewed monochrome in a newspaper there is no clue whatsoever that he's supposed to be dark skinned and its much funnier.
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** Dilbert originally created the laser to help him [[MundaneUtility make a perfect glass of peach-flavored drink mix.]]
* ''The Dupey'' revolves around a new fad toy called The Dupey, in the style of other 90's fads such as the Furby or the Tamagotchi. For some reason, implied to be to drive up market demand, it's marketed long before the product actually exists! Naturally, Dilbert ends up being roped into designing the thing, which ends up looking like an adorable ball of fluff with arms and legs. Loud Howard ''faints'' at the sight.
** Being Dilbert, turns out he's actually created a sentient artificial lifeform by accident, and it's still in it's infant stage, meaning it cries at night looking for attention like a human baby. The next morning, he tries explaining the problem to the Boss.
--> '''PHB''': Sounds familiar. I remember when I'd be trying to sleep, and the little tykes would be crying all night in the next room, hehe...
--> '''Dilbert''': How'd you stop them?
--> '''PHB''': Didn't have to! Turns out I was in the wrong house!
* ''The Dupey'' revolves around a new fad toy called The Dupey, in the style of other 90's fads such as the Furby or the Tamagotchi. For some reason, implied to be to drive up market demand, it's marketed long before the product actually exists! Naturally, Dilbert ends up being roped into designing the thing, which ends up looking like an adorable ball of fluff with arms and legs. Loud Howard ''faints'' at the sight.
** Being Dilbert, turns out he's actually created a sentient artificial lifeform by accident, and it's still in it's infant stage, meaning it cries at night looking for attention like a human baby. The next morning, he tries explaining the problem to the Boss.
--> '''PHB''': Sounds familiar. I remember when I'd be trying to sleep, and the little tykes would be crying all night in the next room, hehe...
--> '''Dilbert''': How'd you stop them?
--> '''PHB''': Didn't have to! Turns out I was in the wrong house!
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* The PHB playing chess against a pineapple... ''[[EpicFail and losing]]''.
-->'''PHB:''' STUPID FRUIT! ...[[BestOutOfInfinity best 3 out of 5?]]
-->'''PHB:''' STUPID FRUIT! ...[[BestOutOfInfinity best 3 out of 5?]]
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** [[https://dilbert.com/strip/2017-03-01 Wally comparing himself to Gandhi]].
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** Dilberts duel against Comp-U-Comp, which consists of three challenges; chess (which Comp-U-Comp wins by predicting every single move Dilbert could possibly make before the board is even set up), Scrabble, and surprisingly enough, Badminton. Even more surprising, the badminton match is very even... until Alice points out that the only reason it's an even match is because Dilbert keeps hitting the shuttlecock so hard it keeps bouncing back to him from the completely inanimate (and limbless) Comp-U-Comp. Dilbert ends up bouncing a light hit, winning the match, and Comp-U-Comp whines about ''a leg injury''. The fact that he's voiced by Creator/JerrySeinfeld makes it even funnier.
--> '''Comp-U-Comp''': I hurt my leg! OW OW!!
--> '''Dilbert''': ''You don't have a leg!'' Tie score!
--> '''Comp-U-Comp''': I hurt my leg! OW OW!!
--> '''Dilbert''': ''You don't have a leg!'' Tie score!
Changed line(s) 92 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Reporter''': A new CEO was named, Bob Johnson! *a photo of the PHB is shown on the screen* Also known as "Jim Smith", also known as "Eunice". In an unexpected move, he vowed to [[BrutalHonesty "loot the assets of the company", and, I quote, "skedaddle!"
to:
--> '''Reporter''': A new CEO was named, Bob Johnson! *a photo of the PHB is shown on the screen* Also known as "Jim Smith", also known as "Eunice". In an unexpected move, he vowed to [[BrutalHonesty "loot the assets of the company", company"]], and, I quote, "skedaddle!"
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** In the same episode, we also find out he regularly commits postal fraud by using the names "Jim Smith" and "Bob Johnson" at the post office. And completely unintentionally at that, he's under the impression that the names are some sort of secret code word, and [[TooDumbToLive the postal workers never bother asking for ID!]]
** All of this becomes a BrickJoke at the end of the episode, after Dilbert and Dogbert defeats Comp-U-Comp. The company ends up being taken over by Dilbert's company, and the PHB is named CEO.
--> '''Reporter''': A new CEO was named, Bob Johnson! *a photo of the PHB is shown on the screen* Also known as "Jim Smith", also known as "Eunice". In an unexpected move, he vowed to [[BrutalHonesty "loot the assets of the company", and, I quote, "skedaddle!"
** All of this becomes a BrickJoke at the end of the episode, after Dilbert and Dogbert defeats Comp-U-Comp. The company ends up being taken over by Dilbert's company, and the PHB is named CEO.
--> '''Reporter''': A new CEO was named, Bob Johnson! *a photo of the PHB is shown on the screen* Also known as "Jim Smith", also known as "Eunice". In an unexpected move, he vowed to [[BrutalHonesty "loot the assets of the company", and, I quote, "skedaddle!"
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
to:
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn!", Corn for lunch!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
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Changed line(s) 59 (click to see context) from:
to:
* [[https://dilbert.com/strip/1995-12-10 Dogbert tells a hapless customer how to make a pie chart:]]
-->'''Dogbert:''' Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour. While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named "Manual." Repeat the process until you get the desired result.\\
'''Customer''' ''(reading while baking)'': This lost a ''lot'' in the translation.
-->'''Dogbert:''' Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour. While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named "Manual." Repeat the process until you get the desired result.\\
'''Customer''' ''(reading while baking)'': This lost a ''lot'' in the translation.
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Changed line(s) 132 (click to see context) from:
'''Doctor:''' When you take the bandages off, don't ''rip'' them off. [[RefugeInAudacity Or he'll turn into a charred skeleton]].\\
to:
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Changed line(s) 127 (click to see context) from:
to:
* ''Testing'' features Dogbert in space [[ItMakesSenseInContext trying to fire a satellite laser to destroy an asteroid being aimed at Dilbert's prototype Gruntmaster 6000]]. Only beforehand, he misses and hits a person undergoing laser eye surgery.
-->'''Doctor:''' [[TemptingFate You won't even feel the laser on your cornea.]]\\
'''(space laser blasts the patient into nothing more than a smoldering skeleton)'''\\
'''Doctor:''' Now ''that'' is embarrassing.
** Even better is moments later when Dogbert finally hits the asteroid, causing it to break into several pieces. We cut back to the very same eye surgeon, talking to the patient's wife while her husband's ''still smoldering'' skeleton is barely perched on a wheelchair, wrapped in bandages.
'''Doctor:''' When you take the bandages off, don't ''rip'' them off. [[RefugeInAudacity Or he'll turn into a charred skeleton]].\\
'''(asteroid fragment ''immediately'' crushes said skeleton)'''\\
'''Doctor:''' Someday, I'll look back at this and laugh.
-->'''Doctor:''' [[TemptingFate You won't even feel the laser on your cornea.]]\\
'''(space laser blasts the patient into nothing more than a smoldering skeleton)'''\\
'''Doctor:''' Now ''that'' is embarrassing.
** Even better is moments later when Dogbert finally hits the asteroid, causing it to break into several pieces. We cut back to the very same eye surgeon, talking to the patient's wife while her husband's ''still smoldering'' skeleton is barely perched on a wheelchair, wrapped in bandages.
'''Doctor:''' When you take the bandages off, don't ''rip'' them off. [[RefugeInAudacity Or he'll turn into a charred skeleton]].\\
'''(asteroid fragment ''immediately'' crushes said skeleton)'''\\
'''Doctor:''' Someday, I'll look back at this and laugh.
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Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
** The elves try to impress Dogbert with elf magic -- the old PullingARabbitOutOfMyHat trick. Unfortunately, the rabbit turns out quite a bit tougher than they are. Nonetheless, they seriously think the IntimidationDemonstration went well until the rabbit forced one of them to eat a bug.
to:
** The elves try to impress Dogbert with elf magic -- the old PullingARabbitOutOfMyHat PullARabbitOutOfMyHat trick. Unfortunately, the rabbit turns out quite a bit tougher than they are. Nonetheless, they seriously think the IntimidationDemonstration went well until the rabbit forced one of them to eat a bug.
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Added DiffLines:
* The elves and their weirdness and [[EpicFail extreme failures]] to impress Dilbert and Dogbert.
** The elves try to impress Dogbert with elf magic -- the old PullingARabbitOutOfMyHat trick. Unfortunately, the rabbit turns out quite a bit tougher than they are. Nonetheless, they seriously think the IntimidationDemonstration went well until the rabbit forced one of them to eat a bug.
** The elves present demands to Dilbert, who thinks it would be funny to flatten their pointy hats with a pancake turner. Cut to the next panel, where the flat-hatted elves are lamenting the low standards of humor.
** Ratbert tries to infiltrate the elves and gives a crazy possibility for the SecretHandshake...which the elves nonetheless admit is a good guess.
** The elves try to impress Dogbert with elf magic -- the old PullingARabbitOutOfMyHat trick. Unfortunately, the rabbit turns out quite a bit tougher than they are. Nonetheless, they seriously think the IntimidationDemonstration went well until the rabbit forced one of them to eat a bug.
** The elves present demands to Dilbert, who thinks it would be funny to flatten their pointy hats with a pancake turner. Cut to the next panel, where the flat-hatted elves are lamenting the low standards of humor.
** Ratbert tries to infiltrate the elves and gives a crazy possibility for the SecretHandshake...which the elves nonetheless admit is a good guess.
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Changed line(s) 89 (click to see context) from:
** "HE'S NOT LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER SEEN!" Dogbert: "Recommendation: Downsize the loud guy." Howard: "I TAKE IT BACK!" Dogbert: "Any one else wanna piece of me?!"
to:
** "HE'S NOT When Dilbert hires Dogbert as a consultant for a project that they're working on...
-->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVERSEEN!" Dogbert: "Recommendation: Downsize SEEN!
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation... downsize the loudguy." Howard: "I guy.
-->'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE ITBACK!" Dogbert: "Any BACK!
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one else wanna piece ofme?!"me?!
-->'''Loud Howard:''' HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANY CONSULTANT I'VE EVER
-->'''Dogbert:''' ''(writing something down)'' Recommendation... downsize the loud
-->'''Loud Howard:''' UHHHHHHH, I TAKE IT
-->'''Dogbert:''' Any one else wanna piece of
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* In "Charity", the PHB chooses the company's "charity co-ordinators" (i.e people to walk around begging for donations) from a pool of their most useless employees.
--> '''PHB''': [[LazyBum Wally]]
--> '''Wally''': Hey, top of the list four years in a row! Woo-woo!
--> '''PHB''': [[DeadGuyOnDisplay A dead guy we found in the stairwell]], and the chair he's sitting in, [[CompanionCube which we've named Ronald!]]
--> '''Wally''': Hmm, tough competition.
** The other charitable causes, which include organizations such as "Farmers Who Are Afraid of Cows", "Women Who Cut their Hair too Short and Don't Realize How Bad it Looks" and "Mountain Goats With Three Legs". That last one is just hiding it's fourth leg behind it's back though.
--> '''Dilbert''': Why don't they just change jobs?
--> '''Farmer''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint How's a cow gonna change jobs, silly boy?]] Use your head!
** The ex-pro basketball player who had his life turned around by the charity group after he got hooked on drugs.
--> '''Player''': I was a star, life was good, until I turned to drugs and alcohol. Actually, that was pretty good too, I ''love'' drugs and alcohol!
--> '''PHB''': [[LazyBum Wally]]
--> '''Wally''': Hey, top of the list four years in a row! Woo-woo!
--> '''PHB''': [[DeadGuyOnDisplay A dead guy we found in the stairwell]], and the chair he's sitting in, [[CompanionCube which we've named Ronald!]]
--> '''Wally''': Hmm, tough competition.
** The other charitable causes, which include organizations such as "Farmers Who Are Afraid of Cows", "Women Who Cut their Hair too Short and Don't Realize How Bad it Looks" and "Mountain Goats With Three Legs". That last one is just hiding it's fourth leg behind it's back though.
--> '''Dilbert''': Why don't they just change jobs?
--> '''Farmer''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint How's a cow gonna change jobs, silly boy?]] Use your head!
** The ex-pro basketball player who had his life turned around by the charity group after he got hooked on drugs.
--> '''Player''': I was a star, life was good, until I turned to drugs and alcohol. Actually, that was pretty good too, I ''love'' drugs and alcohol!
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Changed line(s) 92,93 (click to see context) from:
* Wally actually manages to be ''worse'' in the cartoon than he ever was in the comic strip. Among his schemes to do as much slacking as possible can be mentioned him going to interviews at other companies for the sole purpose of exploiting their desperation for experienced engineers during the dot com boom, exploiting the chaos caused by an impending merger and fear of layoffs from the HR department, and somehow always managing to avoid disciplinary action by appearing busy just as the Boss walks by.
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as its revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only can't you trade, but sick days don't accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediately begins twitching like a dying fly.
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as its revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only can't you trade, but sick days don't accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediately begins twitching like a dying fly.
to:
* Wally actually manages to be ''worse'' in the cartoon than he ever was in the comic strip. Among his schemes to do as much slacking as possible can be mentioned him possible: going to interviews at other companies for the sole purpose of exploiting their desperation for experienced engineers during the dot com boom, exploiting the chaos caused by an impending merger and fear of layoffs from the HR department, and somehow always managing to avoid disciplinary action by appearing busy just as the Boss walks by.
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, asits it's revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only can't you trade, but sick days don't accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediately begins twitching like a dying fly.
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as
Changed line(s) 101 (click to see context) from:
* When Dilbert goes to the Big Mall to find his father, the PHB is at the cineplex there, having used Moviefone to try and check his stocks. While there, he does everything you're not supposed to do -- switch between movies, jabber during the movie, and spoiling movie endings for people in line, resulting in a horde of ushers chasing him.
to:
* When Dilbert goes to the Big Mall to find his father, the PHB is at the cineplex there, having used Moviefone to try and check his stocks. While there, he does everything you're not supposed to do -- switch between movies, jabber during the movie, and spoiling spoil movie endings for people in line, resulting in a horde of ushers chasing him.
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Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's dead!'''\\
to:
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's dead!'''\\dead!''\\
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* The ''very first'' exchange with the PHB.
-->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''PHB:''' Why would anyone ''beat'' a dead horse?\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyone kill a dead horse?\\
'''PHB:''' Maybe it kicked ya!\\
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's dead!'''\\
'''PHB:''' And so is every customer who used our flagship product.
-->'''PHB:''' Well, there's no sense in killing a dead horse.\\
'''Dilbert:''' You mean there's no sense in ''beating'' a dead horse.\\
'''PHB:''' Why would anyone ''beat'' a dead horse?\\
'''Dilbert:''' Why would anyone kill a dead horse?\\
'''PHB:''' Maybe it kicked ya!\\
'''Dilbert:''' ''It's dead!'''\\
'''PHB:''' And so is every customer who used our flagship product.
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Added DiffLines:
*** Loud Howard loses his voice. Cue to the enormous celebration.
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Changed line(s) 83 (click to see context) from:
* The celebrity judge for Dilbert's parental trial turns out to be StoneColdSteveAustin.
to:
* The celebrity judge for Dilbert's parental trial turns out to be StoneColdSteveAustin.Wrestling/StoneColdSteveAustin.
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fixed some typos
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn… then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
to:
* In [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1991-06-29/ one story]], Dilbert accidentally kills a CEO with an ear of corn and is sent to jail. The very tough-looking criminal looks at the skinny Dilbert and asks what he's in for. Dilbert responds with how he killed a man with an ear of corn… corn... then looks over and says "Oh hey! Corn!", causing the toughened criminal to look legitimately scared.
Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1989-07-30/ Using a microscope]], Dilber discovers a tiny, subatomic civilization, and is quite excited.
to:
* [[http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1989-07-30/ Using a microscope]], Dilber Dilbert discovers a tiny, subatomic civilization, and is quite excited.
Changed line(s) 85,86 (click to see context) from:
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as its revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only can't you trade, but sick days dont accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediatly begins twitching like a dying fly.
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into multiple-sclorosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into multiple-sclorosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.
to:
* Wally is apparently under the impression that you can transfer sick days between employees, as its revealed in one episode he's been saving up his own sick days and trading others for theirs for years until he has enough to retire early. Of course, everyone else knows that not only can't you trade, but sick days dont don't accumulate, they expire at the end of each year, and are just using Wally to steal office supplies for them, as this is easier than ordering through the catalogue. He eventually finds this out after having mutated into a human-fly hybrid due to the incredibly unsanitary conditions of the office, and immediatly immediately begins twitching like a dying fly.
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns intomultiple-sclorosis, multiple sclerosis, as she eventually loses all muscle control and is confined to an electric wheelchair.
** Hell, ALL the mutations in this episode qualify. Most of the employees end up with various mutations, such as Asok's head swelling up three times its size when he sneezes at one point, another man transforming into a hunchback and Alice's cold getting so bad it apparently turns into
Changed line(s) 92 (click to see context) from:
* When Dilbert goes to the Big Mall to find his father, the PHB is at the cineplex there, having used Moviefone to try and check his stocks. While there, he does everything you're not supposed to do- switch between movies, jabber during the movie, and spoiling movie endings for people in line, resulting in a horde of ushers chasing him.
to:
* When Dilbert goes to the Big Mall to find his father, the PHB is at the cineplex there, having used Moviefone to try and check his stocks. While there, he does everything you're not supposed to do- do -- switch between movies, jabber during the movie, and spoiling movie endings for people in line, resulting in a horde of ushers chasing him.
