History Funny / CodexEquus

--> '''Vicearch Iniquitous:''' '''...How?'''\\

--> '''Vicearch Iniquitous:''' ...How?'''\\

--> '''Vicearch Iniquitous:'''...How?'''\\

--> '''Prince Vultus IV:''' As our noble gods had said: 'Respect thy peers as thyself.' Unless he’s an Autorist - in which case, '''''[[MoodWhiplash GET]] [[SuddenlyShouting THE]] [[AcceptableTargets BASTARD!]]'''''
* [[https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/909949548/4992723784 This exchange]] between Vicearch Iniquitous and Prince Caerulus upon the former discovering the latter had gifted Her an incredibly potent wand powered in part by... A miniature millhorse running on treadmills inside the wand.
--> '''"... How?"'''
--> ''"Don't ask me - Ah didn't quite understand it either back then."''

* Prince Behemoth Equestria, a Giant-Alicorn Hybrid son of Celestia, has reservations over some of the Deti Ushasov, including Touha, moving into the Equestrian Pantheon following their brother Prince Stoltur's marriage to Prince Caerulus Melodia Equestria. Touha's [[https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/897831515/4960605526 solution]]? Knowing Prince Behemoth is a bisexual who ReallyGetsAround, Touha invite him to ''sleep with all of them'' (and [[AnythingThatMoves even their demonic servants and mortal champions/followers]]). It ''WORKS'' - even though it [[UpToEleven took a few days]] before [[ICantFeelMyLegs he could feel his rear or use his hindlegs]] again, [[DepravedBisexual Touha]] considers [[BiggerIsBetterInBed the whole experience]] [[WorthIt a blast]].

* Prince Behemoth Equestria, a Giant-Alicorn Hybrid son of Celestia, has reservations over some of the Deti Ushasov, including Touha, moving into the Equestrian Pantheon following their brother Prince Stoltur's marriage to Prince Caerulus Melodia Equestria. Touha's [[https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/897831515/4960605526 solution]]? Knowing Prince Behemoth is a bisexual who ReallyGetsAround, Touha invite him to ''sleep with all of them'' (and [[AnythingThatMoves even their demonic servants and mortal champions/followers]]). It ''WORKS'', and Touha considers the whole experience a blast - even though it [[UpToEleven took a few days]] before [[PostCoitalCollapse he could feel his rear or use his hindlegs]] again.

--> '''Prince Vultus IV:''' As our noble gods had said: 'Respect thy peers as thyself.' Unless he’s an Autorist - in which case, ''[[MoodWhiplash GET THE BASTARD!]]''.

* While more serious in context, the following quote from [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Characters/CodexEquusFourthAgeHeroes Prince Vultus IV's entry]] is hilarious if only due to the hefty dose of MoodWhiplash it contains.

* When Despotic Destiny revealed himself and started the 'War Against Order', a lot of Equestrians were frustrated over the fact they have to deal with yet ''another'' attempted to take over Equestria right after having gone through an [[CivilWar internal conflict]], several foreign ones and [[TheWorldIsAlwaysDoomed a parade of gods-knows how many internal and external villains and menaces]] over the last couple of years. [[BlackComedy You can almost]] [[OhNoNotAgain hear the utter exasperation]] beneath the outrage and anger the Equestrian Ponies expressed when Despotic Destiny appeared at the Canterlot palace balcony with the subdued Princess Amicitia and demanded Equestria submit to his orderly rule.
--> '''Canterlot Pony:''' [[OhNoNotAgain We just had a civil war]], [[OhMyGods gods]][[PrecisionFStrike dammit]]!

Although ''Fanfic/CodexEquus'' is DarkerAndEdgier than [[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic canon]] with hefty doses of horror and RealityEnsues, there are still many moments of hilarity and humour to balance it out.

* In the aftermath of the [[spoiler:Canterlot Coup and the Great Purge that followed]], Luna interrogates one of the arrested [[spoiler:nobles]] and the subject of [[https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/844421514/4858326970 what Luna found in their minds]] while sleeping is brought up. She was ''[[AMindIsATerribleThingToRead not]]'' amused...

---> '''Narration''': Incidentally, the cliff was later renamed '[[{{Pun}} Yarost's Fall]]'.

[[folder:Golden Scepter, the Radiant Emperor of Ponykind]]

* Phykti, the Baroness of Torment, is notorious for ([[ColdBloodedTorture among other things]]) making puns so bad that it counts as torture in itself. Unfortunately, even her own family isn't safe from them; [[TheStoic Yarost]], her eldest brother, is her most frequent target.

---> '''Narration''': Incidentally, [[BrickJoke the cliff was later renamed]] '[[BrickJoke Yarost's]] [[{{Pun}} Fall]]'.

** After Pokhot helped bring down a rather misandric and vengeful doe who founded a cult that targeted even innocent Deer stags for their supposed "crimes", Phykti couldn't resist making her own comments on the situation. [[LamePunReaction Pokhot was not impressed]].

---> '''Narration''': Incidentally, the cliff was later renamed 'Yarost's Fall'.

* A Codexverse drabble reveals what exactly happened a few weeks ago: A Terran chef, Gilded Stove, who is secretly an agent of Autorist factions both in and out of the Terran Empire, tried to score a victory by [[TamperingWithFoodAndDrink lacing Golden Scepter's spaghetti with poisonous acid]]. What Gilded Stove didn't know is that [[TimeAbyss having lived for millions of years]], Golden Scepter is used to assassination attempts, and is so disappointed in what he saw as a pathetic and completely uncreative attempt to kill him that he snidely gives Gilded Stove a suggestion to seek an apprenticeship under his demi-divine sons... who all think that their father is being genuine and beg Golden Scepter to reconsider. Even funnier is Golden Scepter informing Gilded Stove that [[ShameIfSomethingHappened he can't guarantee the chef's safety if he does decide to learn how to become a better assassin]]. Gilded Stove ultimately decides to surrender and turn himself in rather than face a likely horrible death at the hooves of all nineteen Terran Princes, who are ''very'' angry with him for trying to murder their father.
--> '''Emperor Golden Scepter:''' ...Seriously? THIS is what you are trying to kill me with? I have endured thousands, if not MILLIONS of assassination attempts in my lifetime, [[RealityIsUnrealistic and most of them would rightly be seen as 'impossible' if I were to retell them]]. And the most creative method you can think of is... is... lacing my spaghetti with ACID? I am disappointed in you, Gilded Stove. VERY disappointed. If you want to kill me, then DO IT RIGHT. In fact, perhaps you can seek an apprenticeship in chemistry under my twelfth son, Death Shroud...\\

* Mixed with Awesome, in one incident, he ''[[{{Mooning}} mooned]]'' his parents' angelic servants to spite the Elternteil Deer Pantheon for driving his magically powerful older brother, Kúzelník, away from them with their toxic and hypocritical behavior. Belyolen is not pleased.

* After dealing with running an empire, the public uproar from "[[AbusiveParents Mr. Boar]]" and [[SadisticTeacher Trench Bull]]'s arrest and imprisonment, petitions from numerous deities to have the Terran Empire's most dangerous criminals transferred to their jurisdiction once they expire, and trying to prevent his own sons from taking matters into their own hooves, a rather frazzled Golden Scepter gives his answer to the visiting Four Terrors like an exasperated father whose child kept bugging him to buy that one toy they saw in the shop window:

** Another Codex drabble reveals that his attempt to make onion casserole ended up summoning hordes of what Cultura called [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Beholders and Illithids]]. Cue Fanged Paw desperately trying to resolve the situation by himself, while his adoptive niece, [[EmpathicWeapon Mercy]], screams for Fanged Paw's younger brother, [[ParentalSubstitute Red Blade]], in fright.

--> '''Emperor Golden Scepter:'''"I love all four of you dearly, but my answer is still the same: I will think about it. Running an empire is by itself not an easy task, as you may know. I have also been swamped the past few weeks with requests for divine jurisdiction over the souls of those I have now imprisoned in my dungeons - including the deities of the Grittish pantheon, the Wicked Reaper of the Three Deaths, and especially Poena and her fanatics. Why, just yesterday, I was even visited by one of the Wicked Reaper's adoptive nephews, whom I recall is the twin brother of that travelling musician my granddaughter, Mercy, became a huge fan of recently. And do not get me started on my sons. With the condemnation of Mr. Boar and Trench Bull, I now have my hooves all over the place trying to prevent them from enacting bloody vengeance on the prisoners... however understandable my sons' reasons might be.

* Mixed with Awesome, in one incident, he ''[[{{Mooning}} mooned]]'' his parents' angelic servants to spite the Elternteil Deer Pantheon for driving his magically powerful older brother, Kúzelník, away with their toxic and hypocritical behavior. Belyolen is not pleased.

---> '''Mercy:''' AAAAAAH!!! PAPA, THERE'S A TENTACLED MONSTER INSIDE THE OVEN!!!\\
'''Prince Fanged Paw:''' HOLD ON, MERCY, JUST LET ME TAKE CARE OF THIS!

** Another Codex drabble reveals that his attempt to make onion casserole ended up summoning hordes of what Cultura called [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons Beholders and Illithids]]. Cue Fanged Paw desperately trying to resolve the situation by himself, while his adoptive niece, [[EmpathicWeapon Mercy]], screams for Fanged Paw's younger brother, [[ParentalSubtitute Red Blade]], in fright.