History Funny / AssassinsCreedII

* In a meta example, more than one player told themselves they were [[ImGoingToHellForThis Going To Hell For This]] upon learning the FinalBoss was [[spoiler:Pope Alexander VI]], and that the FinalBattle is tantamount to [[CurbStompBattle a bare-knuckle fistfight with the man himself]] [[spoiler:inside the Vatican, in the middle of High Mass]]. However, it's historical fact that [[spoiler:Alexander]] was a horrible person, so hopefully {{God}} will give all us gamers a mulligan on this one. (Also the player doesn't get to kill him. He lives into the next game only to be offed by his own son, as real life history tells us)

* In a meta example, more than one player told themselves they were [[ImGoingToHellForThis Going To Hell For This]] upon learning the FinalBoss was [[spoiler:Pope Alexander VI]], and that the FinalBattle is tantamount to [[CurbStompBattle a bare-knuckle fistfight with the man himself]] [[spoiler:inside the Vatican, in the middle of High Mass]]. However, it's historical fact that [[spoiler:Alexander]] was a horrible person, so hopefully {{God}} will give all us gamers a mulligan on this one.

* In a meta example, more than one player told themselves they were GoingToHellForThis upon learning the FinalBoss was [[spoiler:Pope Alexander VI]], and that the FinalBattle is tantamount to [[CurbStompBattle a bare-knuckle fistfight with the man himself]] [[spoiler:inside the Vatican, in the middle of High Mass]]. However, it's historical fact that [[spoiler:Alexander]] was a horrible person, so hopefully {{God}} will give all us gamers a mulligan on this one.

* Bribing a herald to keep quiet about you for a moderate sum to lower your notoriety--[[RefugeInAudacity and then stealing the entire bribe back the next second.

** It doesn't stop there: during a time when Forlì was under attack by Cesare Borgia, Caterina send a letter to the Pope, who also happened to be Cesare's ''father'', that had been rubbed with '''[[RefugeInAudacity plague sores.]]'''

* Bribing a herald to keep quiet about you for a moderate sum to lower your notoriety--and then stealing the entire bribe back the next second.

* Earlier, Machiavelli informs Ezio that Caterina's husband was working for the Templars, to which Ezio says "I'm sorry to hear that." The funny part is Caterina airily replying that he shouldn't be because she had him killed. There's audible terror in Ezio's voice as he replies.

* After Ezio kills a guard who was beating Leonardo, he asks what he should do with the body. Leonardo's response is to take it inside and "put it with ''the others''". Granted, there turns out to be a reasonable explanation, but the line can still get you if you're not expecting it, and Ezio and the audience have pretty much the exact same reaction.

-->'''Desmond''': No worries. Abstergo's wasn't perfect either. And the subtitles are definitely a big improvement. (''[[TakeThatUs the first game did not have subtitles]]'')

* The minstrels. When they're running in front of you while trying to escape guards they're annoying, but if you stop to listen to them for a while, a combination of terrible singing voices, bad lyrics and ridiculous accents makes them hilarious in a So Bad Its Good way.

* Leonardo warning Ezio about Caterina - while the woman in question [[http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110704152613/assassinscreed/images/6/68/Tutti_a_Bordo_13.png is berating her husband because he stranded in a small rock in the middle of the lake]] (he dumped her from a boat).

* After pestering Shaun Hasting for conversation, he eventually runs out of dialogue, and just starts greeting the player with "Hello, Desmond. Go away."

* Ezio has a rare moment of embarrassment when discussing his 'self-expression' with ''his own mother'':

* When Ezio gets his first assassin's blade, {{Leonardo|DaVinci}} brings up the fact that he'll have to remove his ring finger as a 'sacrifice'. Leonardo then grabs a large butcher's knife and bringing it down very close to said finger, before revealing that Altaïr had found a way to avoid the finger removal and [[{{Troll}} that he'd just been amusing himself.]]

-->'''Ezio:''' A minute is all I need!

-->'''Ezio:''' Wait, that came out wrong...

-->'''Male Aristocrat:''' Figlio di puttana... I've been robbed! [[OhNoNotAgain AGAIN!]]

** It doesn't stop there: during a time when Forli was under attack by Cesare Borgia, Caterina send a letter to the Pope, who also happened to be Cesare's ''father'', that had been rubbed with '''[[RefugeInAudacity plague sores.]]'''

-->'''Guard:''' ''(more annoyed than worried)'' Damn it, we're gonna get [[ForeignCussWord ''mierda'']] from the guild for this!

* Some of the letters in the courier sidequests. Especially the one in "The Messenger's Burden", where you're tasked with delivering a letter to a farmer which includes the line "If you do not understand the charges against you read Leviticus 18:23."[[note]] 18:23 condemns bestiality[[/note]]

--> '''Mario''': *from off-screne* He gets very observant when he smells money!

* When Desmond views the memory of Altair chasing Maria, he makes a disturbing realization.
-->'''Desmond:''' Wonder what he wants with her... ''Altair and Maria start kissing''
-->'''Desmond:''' Whoa...Alright, wasn't expecting that... ''Cut to Altair and Maria on the floor, with Altair jumping off the tower''
-->'''Desmond:''' Wait a second...Why aren't I following Altair? I'm stuck here with Maria. Oh shit! That must mean... [[note]]i.e. he just witnessed his own ancestor's conception[[/note]]

--> '''Architect''': Then we would have business. Ah, you must be Ser Ezio!

--> '''Mario''': *from off-screne* He can be quite sharp when he smells money!

** The "meeting" with Bianca is later [[CallBack recalled]] in ''Brotherhood'', when Bartolomeo calls for his wife and Ezio asks, "Did you check behind the table?" To Ezio's surprise, this time around the wife is an actual live human woman.

** The "meeting" with Bianca is later [[ShoutOut recalled]] in ''Brotherhood'', when Bartolomeo calls for his wife and Ezio asks, "Did you check behind the table?" To Ezio's surprise, this time around the wife is an actual live human woman.