History Funny / ASDFMovie

** The fact that the baby is voiced by LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}} with his BadassBaritone voice makes it even funnier.

--->'''Doctor:''' Well, the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymo-

** "''Muffin Time'' is a card game. It's kind of like a sexy horse, except it's a bit shorter, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} it's perfectly square, and it's a card game]]."

--->'''YKWG Guy:''' Hey, you know whos's gay? [[KilledMidSentence You-]]

* "Honey, why is the [[ManOnFire baby on fire?]]" "BUY ME MORE JEWELERY!!!"

--->'''Doctor:''' Well, the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymore.

* ({{Beat}}) "I am a very tall midget."

-->'''Little Boy:''' ''(moving his eyes around)'' I like dancing!

-->'''Host:''' Piano!

-->'''Man''': ''(calling out to a man on top of a building)' No!! Don't jump!! *pulls out a video recorder* Okay, now jump!

''(makes a gun out of balloons and points it at his head)''\\

* "Pfft. Screw gravity!" ''(floats into the air)'' The other guy does a wide smile.

-->'''Guy 2:''' (starts [[RapidAging rapidly aging]])

** Mine Turtle and Pineapples.

'''Guy:''' We're all gonna die.\\

'''Kids:''' ''(all shout "me!")''\\

* "Don't worry, I'm a doctor... of psychology!" Cut to him doing the FreudianCouch routine with the other guy's corpse.

-->'''Man 2:''' Oh- ''[[[KilledMidSetnence explodes]]]''

[[f older:[=asdfmovie=] deleted scenes]]

The fact that [[WebAnimation/ASDFMovie this series]] consists mainly of five second clips that are so random, [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments they're hilarious]], just goes to show that you can basically put down any moment in the series. But we know you’re here for specifics so....

* "Got your nose!" "Look out, [[LiteralMinded he's got a nose!]]" *[[RuleOfThree bang bang bang]]*
** *[[OverlyLongGag bang bang bang]]*
* "You gotta help me man my tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee....." *other guy backs away slowly* "Please don't hurt me..." *evil laugh*

* The Die Potato Guy and the Potato.
-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' Die potato.

-->''[The Potato is Squashed]''
* The "You Know Who's Gay?" man and his companion.

-->''[YKWG Guy has been stabbed by his companion]''

* "I baked you a pie." "Oh boy, what flavor?!" "PIE FLAVOR." -Guitar Riff as a mini pie pops out of the big pie-
* The Die Potato Guy tries to kill the Potato again. The potato [[DramaticGunCock pulls a gun on him]] and says "[[Main/TheDogBitesBack Not]] [[Main/TookALevelInBadass today.]]"

* The "I Like Trains Kid" and his appearances.

-->'''Little Boy:''' I like dancing! ''(Little boy moves his arms around)''
-->'''I Like Trains Kid:''' I like trains. ''[Is immediately hit by train]''

--->''(Kids scream "Cookies!" and crowd the teacher as the camera pans to the I Like Trains Kid)''

--->'''{{Beat}} as the teacher and kids look at him.'''

--->'''I Like Trains Kid's Father:''' Ha ha, yes you do.
--->''(The scene switches to the "You know who's gay?" man and his companion.)''
--->'''YKWG Guy:''' Hey, you know whose gay? You-

-->'''Friend:''' Hey, it says gullible on the ceiling.
-->'''Gullible Guy:''' Oh so it does- ''(His friend has stolen his lungs and is holding them)'' Oh you stole my lungs.
* "I can't wait to eat this bagel!" "Yes you can." "Yeah..I guess you're right."

--->'''John:''' Honey, I'm ho- '''''MARMITE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!''''' ''(Marmite is [[BedroomAdulteryScene in bed with John's wife]])''\\

* "Hey man, look at my new dog." "Oh that's pretty cool OH THERE'S NO DOG THERE!" The two then just go "HURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!" at one another.

--> '''[[DrivenToSuicide Jim]]''': Goodbye world..
--> '''Earth:''' Ok Jim, I'll see you around, where you go-'''BANG''' Oh, oh no, that's not what I thought he meant by that at all!
* "Honey, why is the [[ManOnFire baby on fire?]]" "BUY ME MORE JEWELLERY!!!"
* "Pfft. Screw gravity!" *floats into the air* The other guy does a wide smile.

* The guy punching the salad with the guy who was going to eat it screaming the whole time, letting out a BigNo and then beating up the guy.
* "There's something on your face." '''PUNCH''' "It was pain!!!!"
* "Now son, don't touch that cactus!"\\
''[kid sticks himself on cactus]''\\
"[[VoiceOfTheLegion You're dead]] [[DisproportionateRetribution to me.]]"

-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' Die potato!

-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' Oh no no no, wait!-

* "I'm gonna do an internet!" (presses key and grabs onto the keyboard as a rainbow comes out of the monitor) "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!!!!!!!!!"
** "Well, I'm gonna do a book!" ([[EpicFail presses book]]) "...oh."

-->*[[PianoDrop WHAM!]]*

* "Nice hat." "Thanks!" "[[Main/SarcasmMode I was being sarcastic.]]" "[[Main/ImpossibleTheft Well I stole your face!]]" '''Sarcastic Guy [[Main/FacePalm facepalms]] [[TheBlank his bare head]]'''
* "Alien attack!" "THROW THE CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEE!" ''*The cheese just bounces off the spaceship and a quiet "Yay..." is heard in the background*''

-->'''Dinosaur:''' [[Main/ArtisticLicensePaleontology I am a Steg-o-saurus!]]

-->''[Another man steps on the Mine Turtle and explodes]''
** A little girl finds a Mine Turtle which then jumps out of her hands and blows up the girl and her mother.
** A guy refuses to step on the Mine Turtle... and then gets hit by [[BrickJoke the driving llama]] from asdfmovie2 as the Mine Turtle says hello.

* "I wonder if my pony can fly." '''The pony flies off''' "[[DullSurprise Huh.]]"

* "Hello, and welcome to standing-up school!" *guy falls on his face* "And you fail."

-->'''Man 4 steps on Mine Turtle'''

-->'''All Four Men ''(in harmony)'':''' [[OhCrap OH NO-]] ''[Explosion]''

-->'''Woman:''' Oh look, a puppy!
-->'''Man:''' Oh careful honey, he's got a knife.
-->'''[[BadLiar Puppy]]:''' [[BlatantLies What no, no I don't.]]

-->'''Muffin:''' Hey Joey, you wanna eat me?\\

'''Muffin:''' [[DeathSeeker But I wanna die!!]]

'''Muffin:''' [[StepfordSmiler (cheerfully)]] Why won't you let me die?!?!

-->'''Policeman:''' Ma'am, I'm afraid I caught your son doing...*Main/EyedScreen* Homework!
-->'''Mother:''' WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!

-->'''Guy 2:''' (Starts [[RapidAging rapid aging]])
-->'''Guy 1:''' AAAAAH- [[MoodWhiplash That is weird]].
* Saturn calling the Sun fat when it revolved around it, [[InsultBackfire which makes the Sun smile]].

* [[ItMakesSenseInContext I am a very tall midget.]]

[[folder:[=asdfmovie=] deleted scenes]]

-->'''Depressed Man:''' This does not help.

--->'''Cancer Patient's Head is now a Pineapple'''

--->''A Pineapple lands on Mine Turtle and it explodes''

-->'''Larry:''' What's going on guys?

-->'''Larry:''' ''*breaks a guy's neck*'' [[ObliviouslyEvil What are you talking about?]]

-->'''Larry:''' [[DefensiveWhat What?]] ''*Larry's Friend's neck is in his hands*''
-->'''Larry's Friend:''' Larry! ''*Larry breaks his neck*''

* asdfmovie8 came out and it did not disappoint with its first joke.
-->'''Pop Singer:''' ♫ OOOH BABY! I LOVE YOU BABY! ♫

-->'''Baby:''' ''(in a really deep voice)'' But mother, I love him!

-->[[{{Beat}} (awkward silence)]]

* "Doctor I'm afraid of [[{{Backstory}} backstories]]!" "When did this all start?" "Well, I--AAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!"

-->'''Girl 1:''' "My boyfriend said I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!
-->'''Girl 2:''' (''giggles'') My boyfriend said that too!

* "Would you like to see a magic trick?" ''(DramaticPause)'' [[AntiClimax "No!"]] ''(makes a ":D" face)''
* "Aww... Look at the little baby!" ''(Little baby smiles and makes a gleeful noise)'' "And now look at the big baby!" ''({{beat}})'' "''Wah.''"

-->'''Man with British accent''': Alan, are you a cow?

-->'''Cow''': Yeah, me neither. Do you guys want to go skateboards?

-->'''Woman''': Sorry Eddie, I've met a ''real'' man.
-->'''Cow''': Hi babe, yes I am real man. Do you want to go skateboards?

-->''The cow rides through the crime scene, kickflipping and whispering "Skateboards".''

-->'''Steven:''' ♫ It's a lovely day to walk down the road, and if I ever stop singing [[MadeOfExplodium I will explode]]--♫

-->'''David (suddenly with nametag):''' Hello! I am David.
* The return of the I Like Trains Kid who calls a guy who then gets hit by a train after answering the phone.

(''[[{{Beat}} awkward silence]], robber lowers his gun in contemplation'')

-->'''Dad''': Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.

-->'''Man''': (calling out to a man on top of a building) No!! Don't jump!! *pulls out a video recorder* Okay, now jump!

'''Kids:''' (all shout "me!")\\
'''Teacher:''' Okay then, (pulls out a gun) draw!\\
(The teacher and kids open fire)
* Guy points offscreen:

''(Camera pans to reveal he's just pointing at another guy off in the distance)''\\

* "Beep, Beep! I'm a Sheep! I said Beep Beep, I'm a Sheep!"
** "Meow, Meow, I'm a cow! I said, meow meow I'm a--." "NO!"

* "Cannonball!" (The man proceeds to continue flying across the top of the water, hitting and sinking a pirate ship.)
* "I don't wanna be fat anymore." (man proceeds to [[DrivenToSuicide take out a gun]], pull back the hammer, [[AteHisGun puts it in his mouth]] and [[VisualPun bites off the barrel]].

'''Girl''': [[BlackSpeech sucimaerceci suciemem!]] (dad turns into an ice cream cone, which she then proceeds to lick nonchalantly)

'''Patient:''' Hahaha, oh yeah? ''(takes out a gun and shoots himself)''

-->'''Guy:''' I am going to open this door!\\
(Opens the door, which reveals a [[ToiletHumor giant butt]] that proceeds to ''fart his face off'')

(The butt proceeds to fart her face off)

(The mom's head turns into the butt, which farts the kid's face off)

-->'''Best Sarcasm Award Winner:''' Oh wow, thank you ''sooo'' much."

* The Japanese text under the logo reads, in Japanese, "Japanese text"
** The intro being an ''anime opening'' by itself is a gutbuster, complete with most of the characters being anthromorphised versions of the animal-based characters. Oh, and the Beep Beep Sheep has a serious case of AmbiguousGender and the Skateboard Cow is a ''girl''.[[note]]Which is hilariously more accurate for the latter, as a male cow is a ''bull''.[[/note]]

* (''singing flower'') I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way to [[ImAHumanitarian eat your]] [[LyricalDissonance skin]]! (Cue dramatic zoom in on his face)

-->'''Boy''': (Gasp!) This isn't my house!
* (''singing'') A, B, C, D, E, F, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers gun]]! (''gun shoots teacher'')

--> '''Boss''': YOU'RE FIRED!\\
'''Employee''': YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!\\
'''Boss''': YOU CAN'T QUIT, I QUIT!\\
'''Employee''': YOU CAN'T QUIT, YOU'RE A FROG!\\
'''Boss (now a frog)''': YOU CAN'T FROG ME, YOU'RE MY WIFE!\\
'''Employee (now a wife)''': I'M NOT YOUR WIFE, YOU'RE MY WIFE!\\
'''Boss (now a frog wife)''': Oh hey honey, how was work?\\

'''Boss''': YOU CAN'T QUIT YOUR JOB, YOU'RE FIRED!\\
'''Employee''': AHHHHHHHHH!!!
* "I sure hope I don't get hit by a car!" Cue the guy being punched out by a car with a huge, muscular arm.

'''Genie:''' Your wish is... [[YankTheDogsChain stupid]]. ''slap''\\

* "Hey, can you hold my baby?" (SQUISH) "No, apparently not."

--> '''Cow:''' Hello; yes I am real man. I love to do the crime.

* The guy holding an umbrella in a shower. "My brain is big and smart."

'''Duck:''' (Quack.)

--> '''Guy:''' ''(singing)'' Hey, Mr. Goose! Whatcha doing with that noose? ''[[SoundOnlyDeath (off-screen neck cracking sound)]]''

-->''(Mom fires said gun and a baby shoots out and embeds itself in the kid's face.)''

--> ''(A kid is doing kick-ups with a ball while a guy watches)''\\

* Dougal Flopguy is ready to partay-

'''Flopguy:''' YEEEAHHH- zzzz.

'''Doctor:''' N'aww! ''[[SmashCut (Girl is on deathbed)]]'' ...[[WhamLine You're not gonna grow up]].

---> '''Guy:''' ''(doing a tacky dance)'' Come on everybody, do the whale dance!\\

-->''(Kid giggles and father does the "pinch your thumb in front of their face" trick)''

'''Guy 2:''' Not again!\\

-->'''Bargoer:''' Make me a drink! ''[[ExactWords (Bartender claps him into a glass of alcohol)]]'' Yeah!

* A-ha! [[CaptainObvious That's how you open a door.]]

** At the end of the video, Tom and the Muffin see a figure on the hill backed by the sun. Seconds later, it shows that figure is ''the beep beep sheep'', trying to look cool. They are ''less than impressed''.

'''Doctor:''' HAHAHAHA\\

** "And let's not even mention those stretch goals and Kickstarter exclusives! '''({{Beat}})''' ''They know what they've done.''"

-->'''Guy:''' ''(smoke alarm blares; gasps)'' My fire is done! ''[[BizarreTasteInFood (eats fire)]]''

'''Kid:''' But... But..... BUT.... [[BaitAndSwitchComment This isn't what I wanted]].//

-->'''Dog''': ''(dressed like a stereotypical French guy, with the accent)'' Woof.

--->'''John:''' Honey, I'm ho- '''''MARMITE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!''''' ''(Marmite is [[BedroomAdulteryScene in bed with John's wife)''\\

* "Who parked their car, on my sandwich?" "I did." *gets pissed off and explodes*

-->'''Fax robot''': FEED ME PAPER.

''[cut to [[spoiler:their wedding]]]''\\
'''YKWG Guy:''' [[spoiler:Us.]]

-->[[spoiler:'''Baby:''' ''(in a really deep voice)'' But mother, I love him!]]
** The fact that [[spoiler: the baby]] is voiced by LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}} with his BadassBaritone voice makes it even funnier.

* "Hey, here comes that tra[[spoiler:i]]nsgender guy." [[spoiler:"I like trains."]]

The fact that this series consists mainly of five second clips that are so random they're hilarious just goes to show that you can basically put down any moment in the series. But we know you’re here for specifics so....

* Meta: an [[StylisticSuck MS Paint comic]] was submitted that didn't make it in, [[SoBadItsGood but made Tom burst out in laughter]]:
-->[[spoiler:'''Guy:''' look a ball\\
'''Ball:''' bal man]]

* "NiceHat." "Thanks!" "[[Main/SarcasmMode I was being sarcastic.]]" "[[Main/ImpossibleTheft Well I stole your face!]]" '''Sarcastic Guy [[Main/FacePalm facepalms]] [[TheBlank his bare head]]'''

-->'''Mom:''' (Fires said gun and a baby comes out.)

* Meta: an [[StylisticSuck MS Paint comic]] was submitted that didn't make it in, but made Tom burst out in laughter:

'''Guy 1:''' ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' See? Not ''all'' these skits have to end in violence! ''(gets shot)''\\