History Fanfic / ThingsXCOMOperativesAreNoLongerAllowedToDo

* YaoiFangirl: Aapparently, female XCOM operatives are just as perverted as their male counterparts.

* YaoiFangirl: Female XCOM operatives are just as perverted as their male counterparts.

* IAteWhat: Played with quite a bit with Rules 80 and 81.
-->80. Stop feeding the rookies caviar and then 'accidentally' dropping an empty sample canister marked 'Chryssalid Eggs'.
-->80a. An elite JSDF commando is now afraid of salmon roe and sushi. This ends now.
-->81. Operatives joining a rookie at a table just as they're finishing and asking them 'would you like to know what you just ate?' are expected to clean up the mess.
-->81a. Even if the answer is 'perfectly normal food'.
* ImpossibleThief: The only explanation for this.
-->14b. As funny as it was, no replacing Berserker combat drugs with recreational drugs.
* IncrediblyLamePun: Several of the more mild admonishments to veterans, such as:

-->122a. Cease referring to operatives who take (orders to stop worshiping the Commander) seriously and leave the Commander-centric pseudo-religion as having been '[=X-COMmunicated=]'.
* IntimidatingRevenueService: Lampshaded in the LongList of things operatives can't claim to be in public - the I.R.S. back taxes retrieval committee.
* LamePunReaction:
-->55. Removing a MEC Trooper’s arms and declaring them ‘armless’ will be punishable by a severe summary kicking.
-->55a. Similarly, ending an argument by removing a MEC Trooper’s legs and declaring that they have no argument to stand on is prohibited.

-->122. Attempting to induct rookies into this new religion (dubbed ‘Commanderism’) is forbidden. Especially if the initiation rite involves their paycheck, a rubber chicken, an [[StunGun ARC Thrower]], [[NoodleImplements or any combination thereof]].

-->[[Franchise/{{Stargate}} Stargate Command]]

-->Literature/TheAristocrats

--->104a. Especially bathroom stalls. Some people would like their personal emergencies to run smoothly, not suddenly.

* RealityEnsues:
--> 49. MEC Troopers are hereby exempt from morning PT. We’re getting earthquake warnings whenever you guys pass by the sensor stations.

* MemeticBadass: The Commander, like before.
-->28. The reason why we lost the invasion is not because the "Great Commandy One wanted an actual challenge.", we were completely overrun.
-->42c. The Commander does not take a shot of viper venom in the morning to wake up.

* MusicToInvadePolandTo: [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded in Rule 11]]
-->11b. ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ is relatively unknown in Vietnam. Get over it, nobody there will get the joke.

* FastballSpecial:

-->the plumbers

-->PETA

* IAteWhat:

* {{BFG}}:
-->151. Dr. Shen is forbidden from making anything man portable which has a barrel large enough to fit his head.

NeedsWikiMagicLove.

A second List has been started on Sufficient Velocity, this time for XCOM 2. It can be found [[https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/things-xcom-operatives-are-no-longer-allowed-to-do-part-2.18793/ here]].

-->[[Series/{{Stargate}} Stargate Command]]

-->the Wiku/SCPFoundation

-->the Series/PowerRangers

-->[[Literature/TheDaVinciCodr the Priory of Sion]]
-->WesternAnimation/TeamAmericaWorldPolice

-->[[Series/StarshipTroopers Raczak Roughnecks / Rico's Roughnecks]]

-->[[Series/StarshipTroopers Mobile Infantry]]

XCOM: An organization that is made of up of the best and the brightest to be the first, and last, line of defense against the alien threat. Their soldiers are the best of the best that Earth's militaries can offer, their engineers and scientist are award winni-

-->ComicBook/{{X-Men}}

* LongList: Rule 58, aka 'the list of things X-COM is not allowed to claim to be'. The following is the full list:

-->[[Franchise/StarWars Jedi Knights

-->[[VideoGame/{{Warcraft}} The Alliance

-->[[VideoGame/{{Halo}} the UNSC

-->[[Series/{{Stargate}} Stargate Command
the Parahuman Response Team

-->[[WesternAnimation/{{JusticeLeague}} CADMUS

-->[[TabletopGame/{{Battletech}} Wolf's Dragoons

-->[[ChristmasElves Santa’s Elves