History FanFic / PleaseStopEatingTheHellButterflies

** Aizen. Anything that causes him discomfort, pain, or humiliation (usually all three), Yamamoto usually gives a pass on. From having most of his army defect because of their collective attraction to Ichigo, to being usurped as the ruler of Hueco Mundo by ''Orihime'' of all people, [[spoiler:to outright losing the war because Gin got Ichigo and him drunk in Vegas, had them get married, and then convinced them that the marriage license was legal even in Soul Society]].

* MadeOfEvil: Yamamoto is conviced Yachiru is this and is having Mayuri look into it.

** Urahara himself counts, though even ''he'' isn't as bad as Mayuri.

** Also how Mayuri [[spoiler: escaped from prison; he just wiped of his face paint and walked out.]]

* TheDreaded: Aizen calls Orihime the "Great and Fearsome Queen of Hueco Mundo."
** Yachiru, though that's to be expected.
** Mayuri takes pride in the fact that other shinigami run screaming at the sight of him.

* UltimateJobSecurity: The vast majority of the cast are incredibly unprofessional, so the question of 'why Yamamoto keeps them around' would be easy to ask. Simply put, Captain-grade Shinigami do not grow on trees, as Yamamoto put it once, so there are very few candidates to replace them. Not just anyone can lead a division, and those that do tend to be the crazier ones. Even someone like Yumichika, a fifth seat who could be a fourth seat if he didn't think that four was too ugly of a number to be labeled with, is difficult to replace. That being said, if you are ''really'' over the line, you ''can'' be replaced if a suitable candidate exists to replace you, [[spoiler: as Mayuri found out when he crossed too many lines and Urahara was cleared of his crimes]].

** They managed to do it, or someone else did, given the point about shackle marks and a later freakout when [[spoiler: Zaraki offered him a ride and he answered with his shikai.]]

* WildlifeCommentarySpoof: Kiyone and Sentaro at one point follow Yumichika around narrating everything he does in an overly dramatic Austrailian accent. Well, he DOES have plumage...

* AccidentalMarriage: Ichigo and [[spoiler: Aizen. It was Gin's fault.]]

** Speaking of those two, both are them are good case studies in the better end of the frequently mentioned shinigami in the lists. Soi Fon is quick to retaliation and her interest and relationship with Yorouchi can and will cause her to act against Yamamamoto's direct interests (or even attack him to replace him with Yorouchi if sufficiently intoxicated), but when Yorouchi isn't present, or [[spoiler: when Yorouchi is back in the fold as co-captain alongside Soi-Fon]], Soi-Fon does her role as scout fairly effectively when it comes to gathering information and only doesn't assassinate more targets because the list would be less funny that way. She's even considered more valuable than many of her fellow captains because she's only ''partially'' insane. Meanwhile Zarakai's ''canon'' characterization is basically some murder hobo given power because he's basically a one many war machine, and he's not any less of a murder hobo in this story, just with more of an interest in sex than he shows in canon. Zaraki ''still'' is one of the more productive captains in actually doing things against Aizen, like clothslining Gin to stop his antics or leading the 11th division to attack Aizen, where many of the other characters in story seem to be too busy tryin to push their luck instead of warring with Aizen.

* ButtMonkey: Sajin, to Yachiru.

* GeorgeJetsonJobSecurity: Ichigo has been fired or declared an enemy of the Gotei 13 at least twice, but Yamamoto ultimately has to bring him back on side or give him his full captain job by the next chapter or even in the same chapter. Similarly, despite Soi-Fon replacing the eleventh division with trained apes and Yamamoto coming around to the idea by next chapter the eleventh is back to normal, despite some implications later that the apes are still present (just presumably as part of the division instead of their replacements).
* GivingUpOnLogic: When it comes to the Gotei 13, sanity is a commodity that only Yamamoto can afford, and he has long since adapted in order to maintain it.
** Chojiro and Sajin are sane too. And the ButtMonkey

* HesBack: [[spoiler: Gin, Kisuke, Yuroichi, Kensei and Shinji all get their old jobs back. Sui-Feng is co-taicho and Mayuri is sacked.]]
* HeelFaceTurn: Grimmjow and Ulquiorra end up joining the Shinigami. Of course, whether the terms "heel" and "face" are applicable to this story is up for debate.

* ItAmusedMe: Why Urahara felt the need to conquer hell.
--> "I was bored."

* IWarnedYou: Urahara spreads fliers around the Seireitei with chibi devil-Aizens drawn on them along with the words "I told you so!" For some reason, Yamamoto doesn't feel inclined to lift his exile. He does eventually.

* KlingonPromotion: This is not how the Gotei 13 works outside of Squad 11, even if Yorouchi keeps trying on Yamamoto.

* MadScientist: Mayuri, more so than usual, to the point that Urahara, a psychotic megalomaniac, is preferable to him. Especially after the incident with the exploding babies.
** Many push for performing the most insane stunt "without any actual punishment", as a competitive game. Mayuri manages to stay in the upper positions just by being Mayuri.

* MrFanservice: Gin ''thinks'' he's this, hence his proclivity for disrobing...

* OppositeSexClone: Urahara wants one to prove himself better then Mayuri

* {{Yandere}}: Momo, for Aizen. [[spoiler:So much that she tries to kill Shinji for "replacing" him]].

** Speaking of those two, both are them are good case studies in the better end of the frequently mentioned shinigami in the lists. Soi Fon is quick to retaliation and her interest and relationship with Yorouchi can and will cause her to act against Yamamamoto's direct interests (or even attack him to replace him with Yorouchi if sufficiently intoxicated), but when Yorouchi isn't present, or [[spoiler: when Yorouchi is back in the fold as co-captain alongside Soi-Fon), Soi-Fon does her role as scout fairly effectively when it comes to gathering information and only doesn't assassinate more targets because the list would be less funny that way. She's even considered more valuable than many of her fellow captains because she's only ''partially'' insane. Meanwhile Zarakai's ''canon'' characterization is basically some murder hobo given power because he's basically a one many war machine, and he's not any less of a murder hobo in this story, just with more of an interest in sex than he shows in canon. Zaraki ''still'' is one of the more productive captains in actually doing things against Aizen, like clothslining Gin to stop his antics or leading the 11th division to attack Aizen, where many of the other characters in story seem to be too busy tryin to push their luck instead of warring with Aizen.

* KillItWithFire: Nemu's suggestion for dealing with an escaped experiment.

* MetaphorIsMyMiddleName: "Danger" is Chad's middle name. No, it really is.

* {{Plunder}}: Yamamoto was thankful that Kenpachi stopped Gin from causing a mass defection of female shinigami. However, he was ''not'' thankful enough to allow him to claim Matsumoto as the "spoils."

* BunnyEarsLawyer: In the Gotei 13 this is about the nicest thing you can say for a sizable amount of the members between the very few sane employees and the utterly horrible ones. They are all talented and skilled, (from Soi Fon's stealth skills allowing her to sneak crocodiles into baths undetected to Zarakai's fierce fighting abilities and ability to terrify the enemy) but are batshit insane and taxing to deal with at the best of times.

* UltimateJobSecurity: The vast majority of the cast are incredibly unprofessional, so the question of 'why Yamamoto keeps them around' would be easy to ask. Simply put, Captain grade Shinigami do not grow on trees, as Yamamoto puts it once, so there are very few candidates to replace them. Not just anyone can lead a division, and those that do tend to be the crazier ones. That being said, if you are ''really'' over the line, you can be replaced if a suitable candidate exists to replace you, [[spoiler: as Mayuri found out when he crossed too many lines and Urahara was cleared of his crimes]].

* TroubledFetalPosition: Zaraki isn't allowed near people in this state

* ILoveNuclearPower: Mayuri, of course. Hinamori, however, attempted to invoke it.
--> "Stop playing in the runoff from the twelfth division. That is not the way to go about gaining superpowers. You are a Shinigami. You already ''have'' superpowers."

* BiTheWay: Ichigo is a [[AnythingThatMoves shameless manwhore]] on a normal day, and won't hesitate to make out with anyone of any gender. All of his more significant romances however (Byakuya, Ukitake, and Grimmjow) are with the same sex.

** Nnoitra is one as well, for [[HoYay Tesla]].

* BiTheWay: Ichigo, Byakuya, Gin...not sure if Yumichika's this or just gay.

* FanDisservice: When Gin runs naked through Seireitei, [[{{Acrofatic}} Omaeda]] also strips and joins him]]. Yamamoto forbids him from doing that again, although he did admit that it was an effective deterrence to the female Shinigami following Gin.

* OutOfFocus: Nel's apparently around, but rarely gets an entry to herself until much later, usually with Yachiru. Chojiro is mentioned infrequently, until Yamamoto specifies that he hasn't forgotten about him, he's just very well behaved. Tosen is also this; apparently he doesn't pull ridiculous stunts like Aizen or sneak into Seireitei like Gin.

* OutOfFocus: Nel's apparently around, but rarely gets an entry to herself until much later, usually with Yachiru. Chojiro is mentioned infrequently, until Yamamoto specifies that he hasn't forgotten about him, he's just very well behaved.

* AnythingThatMoves: Gin, though his favorite targets are Rangiku and Ichigo.
** Ichigo, whenever his standards are low.
*** Are they ever high?

* AxCrazy: Hinamori.

* BelligerentSexualTension: Byakuya and Ichigo's... "explosive" relationship prior to becoming intimate makes Rukia believe that Ichigo will have an epic romance with Aizen. Yamamoto shoots this down, pointing out Ichigo isn't even that antagonistic towards Aizen.

Warning: Do not eat food or drink while reading this FanFic. It will not end well.

* HorsemenOfTheApocalypse: Otherwise known as Kenpachi, Yachiru, Ikkaku and Yumichika.

* ForHalloweenIAmGoingAsMyself: Despite his appearance, Komamura is not allowed to go as himself for Halloween. Mayuri, on the other hand, is.
* FreudianThreat: Yamamoto decrees that Isshin is no longer allowed to breed, and makes it clear that he ''will'' enforce that with scalpels if he has too.

* TroubledFetalPosition: Zaraki isnt allowed near people in this state

* TantrumThrowing: With obligatory WindowPain. This was Hisagi's reaction when Yamamoto refused to make Kensei his co-taicho.