Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Deleted line(s) 53 (click to see context) :
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
* IntimacyViaHorror: Discussed in "All-Pervading Madness." Apparently a boyfriend set up a "movie night" in the hopes of exploiting this trope and getting Diane to have sex with him.
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
Deleted line(s) 59 (click to see context) :
* IntimacyViaHorror: Discussed in "All-Pervading Madness." Apparently a boyfriend set up a "movie night" in the hopes of exploiting this trope and getting Diane to have sex with him.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Girls Are Really Scared Of Horror Movies has been renamed to Intimacy Via Horror and requires focus on romance as per TRS thread
.
.Changed line(s) 45,46 (click to see context) from:
* GirlsAreReallyScaredOfHorrorMovies: Discussed in "All-Pervading Madness." Apparently a boyfriend set up a "movie night" in the hopes of exploiting this trope and getting Diane to have sex with him.
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
to:
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
* INeedAFreakingDrink: After her dad's "humorous" speech at her sister's wedding.
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
Changed line(s) 52,54 (click to see context) from:
* IncrediblyLamePun: Fairly regularly, usually of the dirty variety.
* INeedAFreakingDrink: After her dad's "humorous" speech at her sister's wedding.
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
* INeedAFreakingDrink: After her dad's "humorous" speech at her sister's wedding.
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
to:
* INeedAFreakingDrink: After her dad's "humorous" speech at her sister's wedding.
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm
Added DiffLines:
* IntimacyViaHorror: Discussed in "All-Pervading Madness." Apparently a boyfriend set up a "movie night" in the hopes of exploiting this trope and getting Diane to have sex with him.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
page made def-only
Deleted line(s) 68,69 (click to see context) :
* NotSafeForWork: Extremely. Once tried to put together a stand-up routine for a charity fundraiser. This required ''five minutes'' of clean material[[note]]for reference, her official shows are typically an hour long[[/note]], which she would perform in front of a group of military veterans. [[EpicFail She doesn't try to work clean anymore.]]
** On the plus side, the story of that gig--and the absolutely disastrous flight from New Zealand that preceded it--provided much of the material for "Lost in the Mouth Specific."
** On the plus side, the story of that gig--and the absolutely disastrous flight from New Zealand that preceded it--provided much of the material for "Lost in the Mouth Specific."
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 6,7 (click to see context) from:
Her shows' titles have progressively gotten shorter and shorter, at least since 2010:
to:
* ''Slid Off the Turkey'' (2022)
* IsThisThingStillOn: Inverted at the end of "Slid Off the Turkey."
-->''Please tell me somebody pressed 'record'!''
-->''Please tell me somebody pressed 'record'!''
Changed line(s) 61 (click to see context) from:
-->''Five years later, when I was studying drama at university, and I was washing up at my sink... I suddenly remembered that line, and I just went "FUCKING BITCH!"''
to:
-->''Five years later, when I was [[IResembleThatRemark studying drama drama]] at university, and I was washing up at my sink... I suddenly remembered that line, and I just went "FUCKING BITCH!"''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
A Date With Rosie Palms is no longer a trope
Changed line(s) 32,34 (click to see context) from:
* BrickJoke: From "Exquisite Bad Taste":
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
** ''All-Pervading Madness'' and ''Hurricane Diane'' each build up to a rapid-fire climax of Brick Jokes, cashing in on seemingly disconnected moments from earlier in the show.
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
** ''All-Pervading Madness'' and ''Hurricane Diane'' each build up to a rapid-fire climax of Brick Jokes, cashing in on seemingly disconnected moments from earlier in the show.
to:
* BrickJoke: From "Exquisite Bad Taste":
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
**''All-Pervading Madness'' and ''Hurricane Diane'' each build up to a rapid-fire climax of Brick Jokes, cashing in on seemingly disconnected moments from earlier in the show.
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
**
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Names The Same is no longer a trope
Deleted line(s) 67,68 (click to see context) :
* NamesTheSame: Yes, yes, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana,_Princess_of_Wales she knows.]] It's just as well that nothing ever came of her crush on [[HeroesWantRedheads Prince Harry]].
-->''Say my name, Harry--c'mon, say all of it! All right, all right, please don't cry.''
-->''Say my name, Harry--c'mon, say all of it! All right, all right, please don't cry.''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
* AffectionateNickname: Sometimes addresses audience members (or children) as "poppet."
Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Generally portrays her parents this way, but there are hints that Diane is starting to take on this role for her stepdaughters.
to:
* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Generally portrays her parents this way, but there are hints that Diane is starting to take on this role for her stepdaughters. Hopefully she was kidding...
-->''The eldest, she pulled me aside and went "Di, you do remember my real name? It's Ellie." And I went "Yeah... [[MyBelovedSmother But you're my child now.]] And I want to go to Nando's with C-3PO."''
* BlackComedy: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Litvinenko Alexander Litvinenko]] on weight-loss pills... that is all.
-->''The eldest, she pulled me aside and went "Di, you do remember my real name? It's Ellie." And I went "Yeah... [[MyBelovedSmother But you're my child now.]] And I want to go to Nando's with C-3PO."''
* BlackComedy: [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Litvinenko Alexander Litvinenko]] on weight-loss pills... that is all.
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* BriefAccentImitation: Does this ''constantly'' when telling stories about her parents. Has also impersonated an American actress (from one of the ''Saw'' movies), and a Russian friend (well, frenemy) who was trying to talk her into losing some weight.
to:
* BriefAccentImitation: Does this ''constantly'' when telling stories about her parents. Has also impersonated an American actress (from one of the ''Saw'' movies), [[Film/MarchOfThePenguins Morgan Freeman]], and a Russian friend (well, frenemy) who was trying to talk her into losing some weight.
Added DiffLines:
* ImagineSpot: Has a recurring joke about absorbing someone's knowledge by, um, consuming their DNA.
Added DiffLines:
* {{Troll}}: Accuses David Attenborough of this.
-->''"These animals are so deep under our ocean, they have never--seen--daylight. Let's switch on the headlights!" And then he beams 8 million candles into a squid that's got eyes the size of dinner plates!''
-->''"These animals are so deep under our ocean, they have never--seen--daylight. Let's switch on the headlights!" And then he beams 8 million candles into a squid that's got eyes the size of dinner plates!''
Added DiffLines:
* VikingFuneral: Supposedly helped set one up for her stepdaughter's guinea pig.
-->''I didn't fancy taking it to the Thames... "Hello, officer! This is exactly what it looks like."''
-->''I didn't fancy taking it to the Thames... "Hello, officer! This is exactly what it looks like."''
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
* ExactWords: Diane was invited to a "bad taste party" at university (which is ''supposed'' to involve dressing up in the ugliest, tackiest outfit you can throw together). She was already "on probation" for the earlier "ghost bride/Paula Yates" incident, so when she showed up dressed as a battered child...
* FacePalm: During her live shows, the camera will often cut to audience reactions after she makes a particularly risqué joke. There's usually at least one or two people laughing, blushing, and [[FacePalm Facepalming]] all at the same time.
* FacePalm: During her live shows, the camera will often cut to audience reactions after she makes a particularly risqué joke. There's usually at least one or two people laughing, blushing, and [[FacePalm Facepalming]] all at the same time.
Changed line(s) 76,77 (click to see context) from:
* TemptingFate / ExactWords: Diane was invited to a "bad taste party" at university (which is ''supposed'' to involve dressing up in the ugliest, tackiest outfit you can throw together). She was already "on probation" for the earlier "ghost bride/Paula Yates" incident, so when she showed up dressed as a battered child...
** Two of her shows' titles turned out to be Tempting Fate: while touring "Lost in the Mouth Specific," she had to have throat surgery, and gained a stalker for "All-Pervading Madness." She claimed to be toying with the idea of titling the next show "Money, Money, Money & Cock."
** Two of her shows' titles turned out to be Tempting Fate: while touring "Lost in the Mouth Specific," she had to have throat surgery, and gained a stalker for "All-Pervading Madness." She claimed to be toying with the idea of titling the next show "Money, Money, Money & Cock."
to:
* TemptingFate / ExactWords: Diane was invited TemptingFate: See ExactWords above. When you have a friend with a history of wearing edgy outfits, and you tell her to come to a "bad taste party" at university (which is ''supposed'' to involve dressing up in the ugliest, tackiest outfit you can throw together). She was already "on probation" for the earlier "ghost bride/Paula Yates" incident, so when she showed up party dressed as a battered child...
"in bad taste," what result should you expect?
** Two ofher shows' Diane's show titles turned out to be Tempting Fate: while touring "Lost in the Mouth Specific," she had to have throat surgery, and she gained a stalker for "All-Pervading Madness." She claimed to be toying with the idea of titling the next show "Money, Money, Money & Cock."
** Two of
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
Diane Spencer ([[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfWindsor not that one]]) is a stand-up comic from rural Somerset, England. Her material tends to draw heavily on her embarrassing family (and the many ways she's embarrassed ''them''), her misadventures in the bedroom, and more recently, life with her husband Kevin and his daughters.
to:
Diane Spencer ([[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfWindsor not that one]]) is a stand-up comic from [[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry rural Somerset, England. England.]] Her material tends to draw heavily on her embarrassing family (and the many ways she's embarrassed ''them''), her misadventures in the bedroom, and more recently, life with her husband Kevin and his daughters.
Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
* AbuseMistake: Once showed up to work with bruises on her arms, which a friend worried were from her boyfriend. Technically they ''were'', [[AllWomenAreLustful but...]]
to:
* AbuseMistake: Once showed up to work a performance with bruises on her arms, which a friend the promoter worried were from her boyfriend. Technically they ''were'', [[AllWomenAreLustful but...]]
* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Generally portrays her parents this way, but there are hints that Diane is starting to take on this role for her stepdaughters.
** ''All-Pervading Madness'' and ''Hurricane Diane'' each build up to a rapid-fire climax of Brick Jokes, cashing in on seemingly disconnected moments from earlier in the show.
* CommonalityConnection: Immediately took a shine to Kevin's redheaded daughter.
-->''She went "Dad, your girlfriend's really weird." And I said,'' '''''"My name's Mummy now!"'''''
-->''She went "Dad, your girlfriend's really weird." And I said,'' '''''"My name's Mummy now!"'''''
Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
* FieryRedhead: Sometimes. Has a memorable story about getting into an argument with a boyfriend, when she was feeling insecure and he picked the wrong phrase[[note]]"Honey, you'd make a bin bag look sexy!"[[/note]] to try to cheer her up.
to:
* FieryRedhead: Sometimes. Sometimes, but she insists that she's "angry ''despite'' [her] hair color." Has a memorable story about getting into an argument with a boyfriend, when she was feeling insecure and he picked the wrong phrase[[note]]"Honey, you'd make a bin bag look sexy!"[[/note]] to try to cheer her up.
Added DiffLines:
* GranolaGirl: Not Diane, but her mother (supposedly). To treat an upset stomach:
-->''"I know what you want, you want to [[DoubleEntendre chew on a nice bit of ginger!]]"''
-->''"I know what you want, you want to [[DoubleEntendre chew on a nice bit of ginger!]]"''
Added DiffLines:
* LoveMakesYouDumb: Happily admits that she slipped into this as her relationship with Kevin developed.
* MyBelovedSmother: Has joked (we hope) about becoming this for her stepdaughters.
-->''"No, Mummy's your best friend, don't go anywhere! You don't need friends; hang out with Mummy! Get in the cupboard, I've drawn a unicorn on the back, it's Narnia! Don't leave Mummy!"''
* MyBelovedSmother: Has joked (we hope) about becoming this for her stepdaughters.
-->''"No, Mummy's your best friend, don't go anywhere! You don't need friends; hang out with Mummy! Get in the cupboard, I've drawn a unicorn on the back, it's Narnia! Don't leave Mummy!"''
Added DiffLines:
* SimpletonVoice: Has a distinctive, somewhat deaf-sounding one, which she typically uses to criticize her own decisions in hindsight.
Added DiffLines:
* UnusualEuphemism: Tends to favor "foof" as a term for the female sex organs.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/di_spencer_tvt.jpg]]
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 28 (click to see context) from:
* ChocolateBaby: Parodied. Neither Diane's unnamed friend nor her husband are redheads... but their son is.
to:
* BriefAccentImitation: Does this ''constantly'' when telling stories about her parents. Has also impersonated an American actress (from one of the ''Saw'' movies), and a Russian friend (well, frenemy) who was trying to talk her into losing some weight.
* BritishTeeth: Has quite a nice smile ''now'', but had some serious trouble with one of her canines when she was younger.[[note]]"Yes, I'm in a book!"[[/note]] At one point, she has an ImagineSpot about having ''both'' canines grow in wrong, and parlaying the result into a niche porn career as "The Walrus Lady."
* ChocolateBaby:Parodied. Parodied in "Exquisite Bad Taste." Neither Diane's unnamed friend nor her husband are redheads... but their son is.
* BritishTeeth: Has quite a nice smile ''now'', but had some serious trouble with one of her canines when she was younger.[[note]]"Yes, I'm in a book!"[[/note]] At one point, she has an ImagineSpot about having ''both'' canines grow in wrong, and parlaying the result into a niche porn career as "The Walrus Lady."
* ChocolateBaby:
Changed line(s) 35 (click to see context) from:
to:
* HighClassGlass: Wanted one to correct the vision in her left eye, but the optician wasn't having it.
Added DiffLines:
* PlayingATree: Discusses a ''Franchise/{{Saw}}'' film that used separate actors to play severed, or soon-to-be-severed, body parts.
-->''And she's got a fake arm, and it goes down to Actress Number Two, who plays the hand. And she spends the entire scene in a box, [[DeadpanSnarker presumably on the phone to her agent.]]''
-->''And she's got a fake arm, and it goes down to Actress Number Two, who plays the hand. And she spends the entire scene in a box, [[DeadpanSnarker presumably on the phone to her agent.]]''
Added DiffLines:
* SpringtimeForHitler: Her attempt to get kicked out of a strip club, so she could go home and leave her rowdy friends to their own devices, initially went this way. Apparently, there can be a DoubleStandard for molesting the performers if you're a pretty redhead.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* AccidentalInnuendo: Diane's mother is apparently fluent in these. Combined with the [[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry West Country accent]], it's hard not to picture her as Constable Thatcher from ''Film/HotFuzz''.
to:
* AccidentalInnuendo: Diane's mother is apparently fluent in these. Combined AfraidOfBlood: Not that it stopped her from trying to donate some... or going to see ''Film/InterviewWithTheVampire''.
-->''It's about vampires! ([[DopeSlap Dope Slaps]] herself withthe [[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry West Country accent]], it's hard not to picture her as Constable Thatcher from ''Film/HotFuzz''.microphone)''
-->''It's about vampires! ([[DopeSlap Dope Slaps]] herself with
Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
to:
* GirlsAreReallyScaredOfHorrorMovies: Discussed in "All-Pervading Madness." Apparently a boyfriend set up a "movie night" in the hopes of exploiting this trope and getting Diane to have sex with him.
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
-->''The thing is--I'm gonna do that anyway! By bringing a film, he's actually making himself wait.''
Added DiffLines:
* INeedAFreakingDrink: After her dad's "humorous" speech at her sister's wedding.
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
-->''Pass the wine, [[ItMakesSenseInContext I'm a physicist!]]''
Added DiffLines:
* SlapSlapKiss: The outcome of the "bin bag" argument.
Added DiffLines:
** Two of her shows' titles turned out to be Tempting Fate: while touring "Lost in the Mouth Specific," she had to have throat surgery, and gained a stalker for "All-Pervading Madness." She claimed to be toying with the idea of titling the next show "Money, Money, Money & Cock."
Added DiffLines:
* WardrobeMalfunction: "You nearly made your sister [[PersonAsVerb Katie Price]] at her own wedding!"
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
Diane Spencer ([[UsefulNotes/TheHouseOfWindsor not that one]]) is a stand-up comic from rural Somerset, England. Her material tends to draw heavily on her embarrassing family (and the many ways she's embarrassed ''them''), her misadventures in the bedroom, and more recently, life with her husband Kevin and his daughters.
--------
Her shows' titles have progressively gotten shorter and shorter, at least since 2010:
* ''Wit, Charm and Filth'' (2009)
* ''Lost in the Mouth Specific'' (2010)
* ''All-Pervading Madness'' (2011)
* ''Exquisite Bad Taste'' (2012)
* ''Hurricane Diane'' (2013)
* ''Power Tool'' (2015)
* ''Seamless'' (2017)
* ''Noob'' (2018)
--------
!!Tropes from Diane's stand-up:
* AbuseMistake: Once showed up to work with bruises on her arms, which a friend worried were from her boyfriend. Technically they ''were'', [[AllWomenAreLustful but...]]
* AccidentalInnuendo: Diane's mother is apparently fluent in these. Combined with the [[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry West Country accent]], it's hard not to picture her as Constable Thatcher from ''Film/HotFuzz''.
* AllWomenAreLustful: Well, clearly not ''all'' of them--she has a story about accidentally traumatizing her roommate by showing her a porn clip--but Diane tends to portray herself as very... goal-oriented.
-->''So he was down there for a while--I think he thought I was trying to drown him, to be honest.''
** She claims to have once "worn down" a vibrator to a stub, as if it were a crayon.
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: Reading the rest of this page, it might be hard to believe, but she does manage it sometimes.
-->''I went dressed as a ghost, which was a simple costume, in that I wore one of my spare wedding dresses. [Slight pause, until the audience realizes what's wrong with that statement]''
* BrickJoke: From "Exquisite Bad Taste":
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
* ChocolateBaby: Parodied. Neither Diane's unnamed friend nor her husband are redheads... but their son is.
-->''And I looked at the father and said "Yes, it's true--I've been fingering your wife!"''
* [[CoolUncle Cool Aunt]]: To her friend's son.
* CringeComedy: Her reenactment of the "clean comedy for veterans" incident.
* FieryRedhead: Sometimes. Has a memorable story about getting into an argument with a boyfriend, when she was feeling insecure and he picked the wrong phrase[[note]]"Honey, you'd make a bin bag look sexy!"[[/note]] to try to cheer her up.
* ICanExplain: Her "ghost costume" (which involved a wedding dress and a noose) caused a bit of a stir. First when she actually wore it, she caught hell because people mistook it for a dig at [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Yates Paula Yates]]; then, when telling the story onstage, she had to explain to the audience why she owned '''multiple''' "spare wedding dresses."[[note]]The official story is, they were for cadging free drinks.[[/note]]
* IncrediblyLamePun: Fairly regularly, usually of the dirty variety.
* InsaneTrollLogic: What the "bin bag" argument (see above) immediately devolved into.
* InsistentTerminology: According to her mother, girls can't "wank."
-->''[[SevenMinuteLull The train conductor looked round...]]''
* ItAmusedMe: Word-for-word, the reason Diane liked to leave the lights on while getting it on with her blind ex-boyfriend.
* LameComeback: To the "Maths Train" comment (see below).
--> ''The Communication Trout has picked up your line. But the Metaphor-Hating Gorilla is now going to key "Twat" into your car.''
* LateToThePunchline: When a very patronizing teacher suggested that she should "let the Maths Train leave without [her]."
-->''Five years later, when I was studying drama at university, and I was washing up at my sink... I suddenly remembered that line, and I just went "FUCKING BITCH!"''
* NamesTheSame: Yes, yes, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana,_Princess_of_Wales she knows.]] It's just as well that nothing ever came of her crush on [[HeroesWantRedheads Prince Harry]].
-->''Say my name, Harry--c'mon, say all of it! All right, all right, please don't cry.''
* NotSafeForWork: Extremely. Once tried to put together a stand-up routine for a charity fundraiser. This required ''five minutes'' of clean material[[note]]for reference, her official shows are typically an hour long[[/note]], which she would perform in front of a group of military veterans. [[EpicFail She doesn't try to work clean anymore.]]
** On the plus side, the story of that gig--and the absolutely disastrous flight from New Zealand that preceded it--provided much of the material for "Lost in the Mouth Specific."
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]: Diane's friend with the ginger son in "Exquisite Bad Taste"--[[NoNameGiven who is never named]], probably at her own request.
* ParentalSexualitySquick: Her mother used this to punish her for [[WhatDidIDoLastNight "time-traveling"]] through her sister's wedding reception. (In Mum's defense, ''Diane'' had supposedly shared a rather intimate story with her while blacked-out.)
* PersonAsVerb: Thinks this is generally a thoughtless thing to do... [[HypocriticalHumor not that it stops her]] from cracking a few jokes about Jimmy Savile and Whitney Houston.
* RacistGrandma: Diane claims to have one, and to enjoy trolling her by deliberately failing to understand her.
* ReallyGetsAround: Has ''maaaany'' stories about her exes, but until Kevin came along she rarely had more than one story about the same guy.
* RedheadsAreUncool: Defies this attitude whenever possible, but she has had to counsel her friend's son when he was bullied over it.
* TemptingFate / ExactWords: Diane was invited to a "bad taste party" at university (which is ''supposed'' to involve dressing up in the ugliest, tackiest outfit you can throw together). She was already "on probation" for the earlier "ghost bride/Paula Yates" incident, so when she showed up dressed as a battered child...
* ToiletHumour: Had a very bad experience right before leaving New Zealand... and on the flight back to the UK... and after landing in the UK. She was in ''bad shape'' when she hit the stage for that veterans' fundraiser.
* WhatDidIDoLastNight: She claims to have discovered the secret of "time travel"--four Bacardi Breezers.
* [[ManChild Woman Child]]: When babysitting her friend's son. He got out of bed to report that there was a monster, and Diane ran with it.
-->''Six hours later we were still awake! We were sat there on the sofa, wearing saucepans. And we were doing what I would call "field research," in that we were watching'' Film/{{Alien}}. ''...And then [[TranquilFury his mum comes in]].''\\
''[After sending the kid to bed for real,] she said "What the fuck, Di? What the'' '''''fuck?!"''''' ''I said "I could ask you the same thing; you left us here with monsters and no guns!"''
--------
Her shows' titles have progressively gotten shorter and shorter, at least since 2010:
* ''Wit, Charm and Filth'' (2009)
* ''Lost in the Mouth Specific'' (2010)
* ''All-Pervading Madness'' (2011)
* ''Exquisite Bad Taste'' (2012)
* ''Hurricane Diane'' (2013)
* ''Power Tool'' (2015)
* ''Seamless'' (2017)
* ''Noob'' (2018)
--------
!!Tropes from Diane's stand-up:
* AbuseMistake: Once showed up to work with bruises on her arms, which a friend worried were from her boyfriend. Technically they ''were'', [[AllWomenAreLustful but...]]
* AccidentalInnuendo: Diane's mother is apparently fluent in these. Combined with the [[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry West Country accent]], it's hard not to picture her as Constable Thatcher from ''Film/HotFuzz''.
* AllWomenAreLustful: Well, clearly not ''all'' of them--she has a story about accidentally traumatizing her roommate by showing her a porn clip--but Diane tends to portray herself as very... goal-oriented.
-->''So he was down there for a while--I think he thought I was trying to drown him, to be honest.''
** She claims to have once "worn down" a vibrator to a stub, as if it were a crayon.
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: Reading the rest of this page, it might be hard to believe, but she does manage it sometimes.
-->''I went dressed as a ghost, which was a simple costume, in that I wore one of my spare wedding dresses. [Slight pause, until the audience realizes what's wrong with that statement]''
* BrickJoke: From "Exquisite Bad Taste":
-->''[[ADateWithRosiePalms This torch doesn't have any batteries!]]''
* ChocolateBaby: Parodied. Neither Diane's unnamed friend nor her husband are redheads... but their son is.
-->''And I looked at the father and said "Yes, it's true--I've been fingering your wife!"''
* [[CoolUncle Cool Aunt]]: To her friend's son.
* CringeComedy: Her reenactment of the "clean comedy for veterans" incident.
* FieryRedhead: Sometimes. Has a memorable story about getting into an argument with a boyfriend, when she was feeling insecure and he picked the wrong phrase[[note]]"Honey, you'd make a bin bag look sexy!"[[/note]] to try to cheer her up.
* ICanExplain: Her "ghost costume" (which involved a wedding dress and a noose) caused a bit of a stir. First when she actually wore it, she caught hell because people mistook it for a dig at [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Yates Paula Yates]]; then, when telling the story onstage, she had to explain to the audience why she owned '''multiple''' "spare wedding dresses."[[note]]The official story is, they were for cadging free drinks.[[/note]]
* IncrediblyLamePun: Fairly regularly, usually of the dirty variety.
* InsaneTrollLogic: What the "bin bag" argument (see above) immediately devolved into.
* InsistentTerminology: According to her mother, girls can't "wank."
-->''[[SevenMinuteLull The train conductor looked round...]]''
* ItAmusedMe: Word-for-word, the reason Diane liked to leave the lights on while getting it on with her blind ex-boyfriend.
* LameComeback: To the "Maths Train" comment (see below).
--> ''The Communication Trout has picked up your line. But the Metaphor-Hating Gorilla is now going to key "Twat" into your car.''
* LateToThePunchline: When a very patronizing teacher suggested that she should "let the Maths Train leave without [her]."
-->''Five years later, when I was studying drama at university, and I was washing up at my sink... I suddenly remembered that line, and I just went "FUCKING BITCH!"''
* NamesTheSame: Yes, yes, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana,_Princess_of_Wales she knows.]] It's just as well that nothing ever came of her crush on [[HeroesWantRedheads Prince Harry]].
-->''Say my name, Harry--c'mon, say all of it! All right, all right, please don't cry.''
* NotSafeForWork: Extremely. Once tried to put together a stand-up routine for a charity fundraiser. This required ''five minutes'' of clean material[[note]]for reference, her official shows are typically an hour long[[/note]], which she would perform in front of a group of military veterans. [[EpicFail She doesn't try to work clean anymore.]]
** On the plus side, the story of that gig--and the absolutely disastrous flight from New Zealand that preceded it--provided much of the material for "Lost in the Mouth Specific."
* [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Woman]]: Diane's friend with the ginger son in "Exquisite Bad Taste"--[[NoNameGiven who is never named]], probably at her own request.
* ParentalSexualitySquick: Her mother used this to punish her for [[WhatDidIDoLastNight "time-traveling"]] through her sister's wedding reception. (In Mum's defense, ''Diane'' had supposedly shared a rather intimate story with her while blacked-out.)
* PersonAsVerb: Thinks this is generally a thoughtless thing to do... [[HypocriticalHumor not that it stops her]] from cracking a few jokes about Jimmy Savile and Whitney Houston.
* RacistGrandma: Diane claims to have one, and to enjoy trolling her by deliberately failing to understand her.
* ReallyGetsAround: Has ''maaaany'' stories about her exes, but until Kevin came along she rarely had more than one story about the same guy.
* RedheadsAreUncool: Defies this attitude whenever possible, but she has had to counsel her friend's son when he was bullied over it.
* TemptingFate / ExactWords: Diane was invited to a "bad taste party" at university (which is ''supposed'' to involve dressing up in the ugliest, tackiest outfit you can throw together). She was already "on probation" for the earlier "ghost bride/Paula Yates" incident, so when she showed up dressed as a battered child...
* ToiletHumour: Had a very bad experience right before leaving New Zealand... and on the flight back to the UK... and after landing in the UK. She was in ''bad shape'' when she hit the stage for that veterans' fundraiser.
* WhatDidIDoLastNight: She claims to have discovered the secret of "time travel"--four Bacardi Breezers.
* [[ManChild Woman Child]]: When babysitting her friend's son. He got out of bed to report that there was a monster, and Diane ran with it.
-->''Six hours later we were still awake! We were sat there on the sofa, wearing saucepans. And we were doing what I would call "field research," in that we were watching'' Film/{{Alien}}. ''...And then [[TranquilFury his mum comes in]].''\\
''[After sending the kid to bed for real,] she said "What the fuck, Di? What the'' '''''fuck?!"''''' ''I said "I could ask you the same thing; you left us here with monsters and no guns!"''
